Raj and Amy
It's chinese take away food night and everyone is seated in a rough circle, Howard on a wooden kitchen chair, then Lesley in the armchair, Penny on a cushion on the floor between the chair and the sofa, Sheldon happily ensconced in his spot, then Howard and Bernadette on the rest of the sofa and Raj in the armchair by the door.
Sheldon noted with amusement that Leonard had recently given up the bigger more comfortable chair to Lesley. He also seemed more attentive when she talked, seemed the carrot and stick theory was working for them.
Howard hunched his shoulders and smirked "Raj is bringing someone if that's ok. He's also ordered extra food to accommodate"
"Someone? Who is he?" Leonard asks.
"She. It's a she!." Everyone is stunned for a moment then Howard continues. "She's a neuroscientist. Remember that drug trial they were looking for volunteers for , the one about social anxiety? Well, me and Raj went along, just to see what it was about, you understand, and she was fascinated by his selective mutism.
Things started from there, she devoted a whole stage of the trial to Raj, regular brain scans and everything. She even has a set of electrodes with his name on it."
Sheldon perks up "Brain scans and electrodes? Well she sure knows how to charm a guy."
They set about opening the take out cartons and dividing up the food.
Raj comes in with a million dollar smile on his face.
"Hi everyone, this is Amy."
he ushers in a plain looking woman dressed in the frumpiest clothes anyone has ever seen. She's an inch or two shorter than Raj, with long brown hair and a woollen sweater over a long shapeless floral dress.
She smiles and waves uncertainly. "Hi it's a pleasure to be introduced to Raj's social group."
Raj points round the room excitedly "This is Howard, He is the astronaut with a Master's degree in Engineering from MIT. This is Bernadette, she has a Ph.D in microbiology and works for Zangen pharmaceutical company. They're married! This is Sheldon, he's the theoretical physicist with the two PhDs, he got the first when he was 16! This is Penny, she's an actress! They're dating! This is Lesley, she's got a PhD and she's an experimental physicist at Caltech. and this is Leonard. he's also got a phD and is an experimental physicist at Caltech. They're dating too!"
Amy looks round then half whispers to Raj "So who is the Alpha here?"
Everyone looks at each other, embarrassed. Amy notices and again half whispers to Raj "Ah, Is that something you don't openly discuss? A group dynamic taboo?"
Howard puffs up like a peacock. Sheldon leans over to Penny "would it be rude to brag?". Lesley snorts.
Penny smiles then answers Amy. "Well, the trouble is the guys are all successful in their relative fields but they're not directly comparable, so it turns into an ego thing"
Amy looks puzzled "So it's not determined by the usual markers like height, beauty, physical prowess, wealth, sexual activity or academic achievement? "
Sheldon looks increasingly smug.
Amy smiles an awkward smile and sits next to Raj "Anyway, Pleasure to meet you all, please call me Amy"
Everyone choruses "Hello Amy" but Sheldon can't help but comment "Well Amy, I must say I think it was highly unprofessional to enter a relationship with a test subject but I must applaud your success with his inability to speak"
"Noted. And thank you."
Raj grins "She took brain scans and gave me the best drugs, it was marvelous"
Amy sits up straight and states "During scans I noticed Raj displayed significant arousal in my presence. To test a hypothesis I started bending over retrieving boxes from low shelves and recording the activity levels"
Raj grins happily. "Her ass was literally off the chart! My hypothalamus lit up like an Christmas tree"
Amy blushes but smiles. "Oh stop it. You're triggering an involuntary blush response"
Raj grins and pulls her into his lap "Girl, you got my medial preoptic hypothalamus pumping out wild signals to my cerebral cortex"
Penny looks quizzically at Sheldon, who explains. "The medial preoptic nucleus is the primary brain region controlling male sexual behavior."
LATER
After eating Amy asks Penny "May I have a word in private?"
Penny gives her a smiles "Sure" and they slip out into the hall.
Amy is as direct as usual "Raj indicated you're the most socially skilled and sexually promiscuous of the group, so I hope you can help me. I have a dilemma."
Penny looks confused, should she be complimented or offended by that? "He said what now?"
"While Lesley is smarter and Bernadette more successful, You are clearly the Alpha female here but I understand you are not academic, so I'll try and use small words."
Penny puts her hands on her hips and strikes a confident pose "I'm Sheldon's, I'm used to long words by now. What's the problem?"
Amy looks puzzled "Your Sheldon's what?"
Penny coughs, laughing at her own slip "I'm Sheldon's girlfriend."
"Well the problem is about my and Raj's relationship"
"You're worried he's only with you for the drugs?"
"No, because Raj was in the control group. you understand what that means?"
Penny stares at her for a moment, open mouthed. "So it was all a confidence thing?"
Amy nods "No biological cause I could find, it was stress induced, probably social from family or culture."
"and now you need a way to tell him that without undoing all the good word it's done"
"very astute. Yes, at the moment two sugar pills turn him into a sexy panther"
Penny chokes and coughs. She didn't expect to hear that!
Amy clutches at Penny's shirt. "When I'm with him I feel like a Fairy-tale princess! I don't want to lose that! What do I DO!?"
Penny hugs her close, feeling Amy shaking with anxiety. Amy sighs and almost melts in her arms. Penny gets the feeling that Amy is enjoying it a little too much, but what the hell.
Penny strokes her hair and says "It may seem strange but maybe you should watch Dumbo together?"
"the Disney film about the elephant with a birth defects?"
"If you look deeper It's a parable about confidence and the placebo effect"
"You think that'll be a good icebreaker?"
Penny grins "That and a lot of sexual panther time."
(yes, I couldn't resist a TBBT style chapter name)
