Diogee slept lightly at night, so the sound of the bedroom door opening was enough to wake him. He opened his eyes just in time to see Milo slip out of the room, muttering something about anchovy pizza as he went.
The faithful dog was up in an instant. Time for the usual nightly routine.
Milo wandered aimlessly into the dark hallway. As he passed, a frame photograph fell from the wall—Diogee jumped up and caught it in his mouth with practiced ease, setting it down on the floor. By this point Milo had made it to the stairs. He actually stumbled going down, but he managed to correct himself without falling or waking himself up.
Diogee followed him into the living room. Milo mumbled "Go away, bee!" as he entered, swatting the air—as a result, he hit the torchiere lamp that was standing by the door. Diogee ran over so that it collided with his back instead of the floor; he gave a sharp whine of pain, but then gave a little jump so that it flew back up and righted itself. With a growl of displeasure, Diogee gently pushed it closer to the couch and away from the door, where it was supposed to go except that Brigitte kept "correcting" his work.
As this was going on, Milo had walked into the wall across the room. He said "Excuse me, Your Majesty," and then proceeded into the kitchen.
Diogee was about to follow, but then the closet door suddenly flew open, and all the safety supplies inside spilled out onto the floor. With an annoyed bark, he went behind the door and struggled to force it shut again.
Just as he was finishing that, he heard a crash in the kitchen. He ran over to see what the problem was.
One of the cabinets had collapsed onto the counter; its door had opened and spilled two plates onto the floor, where they were broken in pieces. Diogee sighed, because that would be a hassle to clean. And meanwhile, Milo—
—was gone. And the backdoor was open.
Diogee yelped as he ran out into the night.
Lucky Milo was easy to find: Diogee just had to follow the path of Murphy's Law. He jumped over a fallen tree branch, ran past an airplane engine that had fallen out of the sky and finally caught Milo at Diogee's favorite fire hydrant, which was spurting water in the general vicinity.
Surprisingly, being soaking wet hadn't managed to wake Milo up; instead he stood there with his hand out and mumbled, "This hurricane isn't supposed to be inside the planetarium."
Diogee gave two sharp barks.
"Diogee, go home. You're not supposed to be in the planetarium either, there's a...hurricane..."
The little dog managed to get Milo turned around, and he stumbled back toward the Murphy residence, leaving a trail of wet footsteps on the sidewalk. Diogee paused only to take a wrench out of the bushes, which he used to turn off the hydrant before following.
Milo wanted to make an omelet when he got home ("it's Melissa's birthday"), but Diogee gently headbutted him in the calf until he wandered back into his bedroom. He climbed back into bed, still wet from the fire hydrant, and drifted into a less active slumber.
Diogee chuffed with satisfaction, then went to clean up those plates in the kitchen.
"Brigitte!" Diogee heard Martin calling from elsewhere in the house. "The cabinet collapsed again!"
He opened his eyes; sunlight was now streaming through the bedroom window. Milo yawned at the same moment, sitting up and stretching his arms. Then he froze.
"Did I wet the bed? All...over?" He plucked at his sleeve, which was still damp, and felt the front of his pajama top. Then he shrugged, getting out of bed and patting Diogee's head on the way to the bathroom. "Good morning, boy! Did you have a good night?"
Diogee made a vague noise, then closed his eyes again. He had an hour more to sleep before Milo went to school. He would follow, of course, as he always did.
A/N: I wanted this to be longer, but one thing I noted while rewatching "Perchance to Sleepwalk" was that the idea lent itself more to visual humor that a fanfic can't really provide. I hope it came out alright.
