So, hey, look what I did. It's been a couple of years, but never gave up. Just been poking at stuff and finally got this chapter done. Still working on others so keep an eye out. Might be a few errors, but hopefully got them all out. Let me know what you think. old readers and new ones.
Reminder: only own the story, characters and settings are Square Enix.
With(drawn) Status
"Hey, Riku!" Yuffie jogged up to him, stopping to catch her breath. When he continued walking, she stomped a foot and hurried after him. "I said hey. You could at least stop and wait."
"Why? You caught up." He glanced at her briefly. "What do you want?"
"Leon's looking for you, Mr. Grumpy." She took large steps to keep beside him. "Geeze, I thought Cloud said you were in a good mood today."
"Uh...I am." Grumpy? He was fine, happy even.
"Right, sure. Well, he's at headquarters." Yuffie waved over her shoulder as she skipped away.
What the heck had that been about? Riku, with a shake of his head, changed direction. If he cut through the Posturn, he could by-pass most of the Marketplace. This time of morning, it would likely be packed. Best to just avoid all that.
-0-0-
Riku walked behind the group, not quite separate but definitely removed. Leon remained silent, listening as the man in charge of structural integrity and the head engineer said a running commentary, comparing maps and blueprints with what was physically around them. The maps were old, and from what he could overhear, the blueprints might as well have been for an entirely different building.
The castle was as dreary as he remembered, now with a few more cobwebs and a thick layer of dust coating any surface it could reach. During his time here, Riku had explored as much as he could, but there were entire sections cut off from him. Whether that was natural decay, damage from the Heartless take over, or the doing of Maleficent, he had no way of knowing. At this point in his life, he didn't rightly care.
The only reason he was here was due to Leon's request. Being that he was the most recent occupant to the castle, even if that had been three years ago, he was the only one who would have even a remote clue bout what areas of the building had been in use and what for. Though he hadn't minded being asked to come, he was bored and there had yet been any cause for his input. No one had even spoken to him in the previous hour.
"This corridor isn't labeled. It's not on any of the blueprints."
Leon stopped walking, looking at the hall entrance. There were only two doors within it, both on the right. "Added on after?"
"It's likely. Though where it would go I don't know." The engineer flipped through a few maps. "There isn't an indication of anything... It appears this should be an outside wall support."
"Riku, any idea?"
"I really didn't spend a lot of time on this side of the castle. My room was off of the library, and Maleficent stayed up in the towers."
"Hnn." Leon felt along the wall. Riku watched him, wondering what he was feeling for. Glancing at the engineer, it appeared he didn't know, either. When he reached the first door, he rapped on it. "It's hollow."
"It's wh-"
Leon reached for the handle, moving it just enough to rattle. He cast his eyes toward the second door as he spoke. "It's locked down tight. It has to be securing something."
Riku huffed. This was a waste of his time. If the doors were locked, they needed to stay so. They didn't need to know what was on the other side. There were things best left alone, things better left alone. Nothing good would come of it if Leon decided-
"Let's keep moving."
If anyone else was surprised, they didn't show it. The group turned after him and followed to the next junction of hallways. Riku lingered and frowned. Leon was just going to ignore it? That made no sense. Leon was so set on learning everything he could about what had happened on this world a decade ago, it was almost an obsession.
This door, this hallway, wasn't here for no reason. Someone had built it with some purpose in mind, whether to hide something or create a diversion from something else in the area not intended to be found. Maybe it was a door to nowhere.
Riku moved into the hall itself, passing the first door entirely. Leon hadn't bothered to check the other one, likely assuming it would be the same as the first. Footsteps light, the floor tile gave no echo of his movement and when he stopped before the second door, a wisp of air brushed at his ankles, strong enough to stir the fabric of his pants.
Riku gave pause. He looked at his hand, fingers curled as if to knock. Why was he doing this? Not three minutes before he was thinking how investigating these doors was a waste of time. Suddenly here he was doing just that. He withdrew, taking a step back. Shaking his head, Riku left the hallway. Let the others deal with it.
-0-0-
"That was a waste of my time," muttered Riku as he entered the computer room. No one was there to respond to him. Since getting the Manufactory shut down there hadn't been need for multiple people here. Again, that was fine with Riku. He preferred working alone under normal circumstances and with the odd mood swings he was apparently still having, it was just as well.
It took no time or effort to bring up the system, and realistically there really wasn't much more they could do here. A majority of programming was completely in Tron's hands and outside Users could simply leave instructions and stop in a couple times a week. However, it was giving Riku something to do.
Then there was that folder. Sealed files that had nothing to do with any of the systems present. Not even Tron could figure out what they were or what they were for, where they came from. That was interesting, and since there wasn't anything else he needed to be doing...
Riku pulled up the program folder, removing it from isolation. Tron had gone ahead and labeled it with what he had been able to identify of it. Project J/S-1. What kind of code was that and what project could it possibly be referring to? Nothing else in the DTD referred to any projects, and it just seemed so unlikely for a rouge program to appear. Tron had said it was added; was it a sleeper program?
An hour passed and Riku decided he'd had enough of this. It wasn't interfering with anything, served no purpose in the system. It was time to just delete it and be done. Wasting his time trying to crack it might provide some days of distraction, but he could throw a copy on a disk for that. So that is what he did and once that was accomplished, he deleted the program. For a moment, he waited to see if anything would happen. It didn't.
Laughing, Riku got up. As he did, he tossed the disk into one of the drawers. Then he left.
-0-0-
"It's been a week, and no disasters! I say that's a victory!"
"Zack, you just cursed us to a year of trouble," said Cloud dryly, sipping his drink. "Thanks."
"Naw, I think we finally got it together. Everyone's been working so hard, it had to eventually."
"Maybe."
Zack walked toward Riku, leaning over his shoulder to see what he was doing. "Whatcha think?"
"That you need to take a step back before you get a fork to the rib."
Cloud snorted.
"Dang. Okay, okay." Zack moved away, but not before swiping a chunk of pulled meat. "But, you got to admit, it's been a ridiculously good week around here."
"Yeah," agreed Riku with no hesitation. "Things do seem to be falling into place. Think Leon will start backing down?"
Both Cloud and Zack spoke emphatic nos.
"Yeah, didn't think so. Probably gonna get more demanding, but at least it'll be more routine."
Zack picked apart his pilfered food. "He'll start diverting people to the castle full-time. He's got some big ideas for that place."
"He needs to leave it be," muttered Riku right before turning and bringing dinner to the table and sitting with the pair.
"The castle's too much of an icon to not do something with it."
Cloud shrugged. "I'd just tear it down and not waste the munny messing with it, but I guess some people are into memorials and all that."
"I'd be afraid to demolish it. Dunno what weird stuff is in that place." Zack piled his plate. "It's kinda like this world's version of the Shinra Building, and all kinds of fucked up mess was happening there. Building goes boom and who knows what could be unleashed."
"Nothing I can't handle," murmured Riku, taking a bite of food.
Zack laughed. "I like you, Riku, but that ego is gonna get you in trouble some day. You're pretty badass with the Heartless and all that, but I don't think you've dealt with real monsters."
"I deal with humans and they're a breed of monster all their own."
Cloud frowned. "Some can be."
Parasites who consume all they want, then move on to the next world.
"I wouldn't go that far." Now Zack was giving him that look. "That's a pretty negative opinion of your own species."
Human blood is my only flaw.. Riku shrugged. "Humans have a few decent qualities, but most have no purpose."
"Riku." Cloud said his name sharply. When Riku faced him, there was something unreadable in his eyes. "Do you have any idea what you're saying?"
"I wasn't talking."
"..."
"What?"
"You just said humans had no purpose." Cloud indicated Zack. "We both heard you."
"Cloud... Why would I say that when I am human?"
"You tell me."
Riku didn't recall saying any- No, he had. He hadn't thought of the words, they had just come from his mouth out of nowhere. What had he meant from that? He couldn't explain it.
Zack made a noise, leaning back in his chair. "Sounds like the messed up stuff Sephiroth used to say."
Cloud agreed, but didn't say anything.
The silence stretched, increasing the uncomfortable feeling between the three of them. Riku wanted to say something that would somehow break the moment. There was nothing though. He had said what he said and there was no taking it back. He couldn't explain himself for he had no idea where it had come from. Could there be something buried so deep in his own mind that it would allow him to voice such a terrible thing?
"Riku."
He turned his eyes to Cloud.
"This can't continue."
"If you have any brilliant ideas, I'm listening." When Cloud said nothing, Riku laughed. He got up. "Yeah, that's what I figured. I'm not hungry. I'm taking a walk."
"Rik-"
"I'll be back."
Riku nearly ran out the door.
-0—0-
An hour had gone by and no one had come for him. He wasn't hiding anywhere that wouldn't be in the first five places anyone who knew him would look, so that meant Cloud had understood the unspoken command. He both appreciated and hated that.
Don't shut him out. Sora's words came back to him as Riku stared blankly at the computer screen. If Cloud didn't care enough to come after him, why should he share anything? If Cloud did care, he would come after him. Why was he pinning it all on Cloud? It wasn't up to Cloud to get Riku to open up.
Riku didn't want to think anymore about any of this, but he had to. It wasn't getting better, and if he was honest with himself he felt more withdrawn from everyone than he ever had. He had done this before, removed himself from the rest of the world. That had been a conscious decision driven by guilt and a drive to redeem himself. This was completely different. It didn't feel like he was the one withdrawing.
How was that?
Maybe he really should look into therapy. All of this could be some strange manifestation of post traumatic stress or maybe he was just depressed. One didn't have to be sad all the time to have depression, at least that's what he had heard. How did one go about finding that kind of help here? He didn't think there were any kind of mental health services on Radiant Garden. That was a sad oversight on Leon's part.
Sitting here alone couldn't be helping him, and with a sigh he got out of his seat. He needed to return home and assure Cloud he was all right and leave no room for argument about it. If Cloud knew him at all, he would accept this. If he pushed to talk about it... Riku would call him out on his hypocrisy.
Leon was in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"
Riku was thrown for a beat. Immediately, he was angry at the man's appearance and almost demanded to know who sent him. Taking in Leon's posture and surprised expression halted that reaction. "Why are you here?"
"The walk through this morning is nagging at me." He fully entered the room. "I thought perhaps there would be something in the archives that would explain the inconsistencies."
"We would have have found them already, I think. We pulled everything related to the castle awhile ago."
"Hn." Leon continued to the computer. It wasn't powered on. "This is a odd choice to pick for some time alone."
"...I didn't really think about it. I just...went."
"Fair enough."
"...has anyone been looking for me?"
"Not that I'm aware of. Should they be?"
Riku sat back down. "Probably. I'd be looking for me after leaving like I did."
"Did you want him to?"
"...maybe. I don't know. All I know is I needed to get away right then." Riku looked to Leon. "Do you... Am I as crazy as everyone is acting like I am?"
Leon didn't reply for some time. When he did, his words were deliberate. "I think there's a lot more going on behind the erratic moods that you aren't acknowledging. You're focused on those, and not figuring out where they come from. That's something none of us can help you with."
"I've always had nightmares... They changed when I got older, but the old ones... They're coming back." Riku shook his head. "I don't know what that means. Why would my childhood fears suddenly return when I have real adult fears?"
"I don't know, but I'm really not the man to talk to about this."
Riku's expression didn't change. "You don't happen to know a good therapist, do you?"
"We really need to get one here."
"Probably. I should go home."
"Do you want me to walk with you?"
"Naw, I'm okay." Even if he was terrified of what would happen when he got home. "Thanks for offering though."
Leon waved a dismissive hand, turning back for the computer. Riku left.
-0-0-
"Cloud?" He said the name so softly that he was surprised to hear it in his own ears. When there was no movement in response, Riku continued inside. He doubted Cloud had gone anywhere and walked to the back of the house. He found the man sitting at the kitchen table, still set from dinner, back turned to him. Sliding into the chair across from him, Riku didn't look up.
They were both silent.
After some time passed, Riku spoke. "I don't know why I said what I did."
"But you remember saying it."
Only because they told him he did. "Yeah."
"We have to do something about this, Riku."
"I know. I think... I need to talk to someone." At Cloud's expression, Riku quickly added, "A professional. Try to sort out where this is coming from."
Cloud barely nodded. "I know we can get someone to come here. There has to be a few looking for work and willing to relocate."
"Y-yeah." Riku looked at the table. "Or, I could just go... Twilight Town and Disney both have psychiatrists."
"...doesn't Destiny Islands?"
Riku didn't want to go there. "I think a more...neutral place to me would be better for this. The King would let me stay with him for a while."
"Of course he would."
"Yeah, so... I'll get in contact with him and make the arrangements."
"If that's how you want to handle this, Riku, okay."
Something about how Cloud said that put Riku on guard. He acted like he agreed with Riku, but his tone was in stark contrast. Or was he reading too much into? Maybe it was the emotion from what happened earlier and had nothing to do with this conversation. "I'm...sorry for all of this, Cloud."
Cloud sighed, rubbing the side of his face. "I wish you trusted me, Riku."
Riku was taken aback. "I do trust you, Cloud."
The blond snorted. "I wonder."
"What...?"
"I'm no good at this." Cloud stood. "Figure out what you're doing, and let me know if I can do anything."
Cloud was leaving the kitchen, body stiff. Obviously upset. Riku moved to follow, immediately catching the man by wrapping his arms around him. "Wait."
"I've been trying to help, Riku... I think I just make it worse."
"You don't. Usually, you make it easier, better... I don't know what's wrong in my head, but it's only in my head. My heart hasn't changed, Cloud. I need you."
"But I can't help you."
Riku squeezed Cloud tightly. "You can by loving me. Sometimes... I just feel so isolated and I don't know why. Being able to remind myself I have you helps."
"You'll always have me, Riku. For as long as you want me."
"So forever." He kissed Cloud's neck. "I'm good with that."
"Me, too."
The kitchen was a disaster, and under normal circumstances Riku would already be cleaning. However, right now it just wasn't a priority. "Can we go to bed now? I just want us to lay down and fall asleep in each other's arms."
"Yeah. We can do that."
"And tomorrow... We'll deal with things tomorrow."
Cloud had relaxed a little, and nodded. "Yeah."
-0-0-
Riku finished his letter, setting his pen down and exhaling softly. He knew he should just call Sora, but he didn't trust his words. The letter would convey everything Sora needed to know, and in a few days Riku would call him. Hopefully, he wouldn't try to come running after Riku. Closing the letter up, he shoved it into an envelope to send on his way to the gummi garage.
His travel bag was packed, waiting at the door. He knew better than to draw this out for given enough time, he would likely change his mind. This had to be done and before his mood shifted again and the thoughts became... someone else's. For the more he thought on it, the more it felt like an entirely different person was randomly overtaking his sense of reality. This was nothing like when he had been possessed; then he had been booted out and just along for the ride. This was a masking of his self, corrupting his awareness.
Riku wondered if this was how schizophrenics felt.
"Belyy volk is ready whenever you are," said Cloud, approaching from the kitchen. "Cid has her fueled up and the nav-gummi set."
"Yeah, okay." Riku nodded. "He got that done fast."
"You said you didn't want to wait on it."
"I don't. Mickey's waiting and he knows a few people that he's getting in touch with." Riku placed his envelope in a back pocket. "Pretty sure that's everything. Once we get something worked out... I'm hoping this won't take long."
"Just keep that determination and it won't." That was something Cloud had always loved about Riku. "You got this, and when the time comes, we'll have it."
Biting his lip, Riku hugged Cloud around his neck. "I promise you'll be involved, even if it's just letting you know how the day went. I have to figure this out, but... when I do, you and I will be better than ever. I'm sorry for pulling away like this."
"You can't be sorry for that, Riku, until you know why it's happening. I'm not going anywhere, so you move as you need to."
"I don't want everyone to know why I'm gone... Tell who you need to, but the others..."
"You went to see the King. It isn't their business."
"Thank you."
Cloud stepped away. "Let's get going. I'd like you to be there before day's end."
"Yeah."
