Gravity Theory

Sheldon has got everyone together as he has more Big News. He's on his computer and Penny is sorting bound booklets and papers into piles on the table. Leonard asks "So, what's he been up to all night? He must have been printing for hours" and tries to pick one of the booklets, but Penny slaps his hand away.

"ah ah, you don't get to look at these until Sheldon has your signed and notarised Non Disclosure Agreement"

"an NDA?" Leonard whines "Why would he need that?"

"Hey, I had to sign one before he'd tell me why and I still only understand the very basics"

"Is this his big galactic theory? Does he think he's cracked it?"

She smiles "Not telling. Go and sign"

Once everyone is ready, Sheldon starts handing round clipboards.

"Here is a standard Non Disclosure Agreement, in which you agree to not disclose to anyone in any way any part of the research I will be talking about today"

There is much muttering and sideways glances, but everyone signs.

Sheldon collects the clipboards and checks everyone has signed it properly before he continues. He nods at Penny, who gathers up the pile of papers and goes round, giving everyone a copy.

"This, Ladies and gentlemen, could be my biggest breakthrough."

"Now, in this paper I'm positing a theory successfully relating gravity into quantum field theory, allowing the detection and theoretical generation of gravity waves"

"Now, Lesley and Leonard." They both look at him with curiosity.

"Lesley, we do not see eye to eye on many things but I do not doubt you have some intelligence. In many fields you have been my fiercest critic, so I can trust you to be thorough. and Leonard, you have been a friend and roommate for many years and while we have had our ups and downs I value your opinion and want to share my success with you."

he looks serious and sincere "Would you both do me the honour of formally checking and peer reviewing my paper?"

Leonard looks panicked. "Wow Sheldon, that's a big deal, are you sure?"

Lesley just puts her hand on his arm, quietening him "it would be our pleasure"

"Thank you. Now Lesley, I need you to be ruthless. After the fallout of the arctic failure I need to be totally sure I've not missed anything.

Leonard growls "you're still hung up over that? we said sorry"

Lesley turns on him, venomously hissing "Leonard, you almost single handedly butt-fucked the guys entire career. Understand? His Whole life. It's understandable he's scared to death there's something wrong with his data if you're around"

Leonard backs off, panicking, his hands raised "Hey, Hey, It was just a little thing, we had to get home! I said I was sorry!"

Lesley prods a finger at him "you know, If you ever do anything like that to my work, they will not find your body, understood?"

"Raj, this draws on a lot of the Astrophysics work we did together, so I'd like to offer you a 20% co-authorship."

Raj blinks, astonished "You actually want to share? what's going on, you never share!"

"Let's just say I am benevolent in victory"

"Now Amy and Bernadette, while this is far outside your fields I'd like you to have a copy. Keep it someplace safe as I've signed them. when I'm famous they should become valuable heirlooms"

"Now Howard, I've left you to last as I need an engineers input on something"

"Wow, go ahead Sheldon, I'm all ears"

"I broke my stapler putting these together, can you fix it?" Howard sits back in a huff but Sheldon gives a high little laugh. "Only kidding. Howard, I wrote a chapter with you in mind on practical applications."

He goes back into lecture mode " Now In string theory the oscillations of the closed string includes a symmetric tensor state that can be identified with gravity as well as anti-symmetric tensor (The deKalb field) and a scalar field (the dilaton).

To get Einstein's General Relativity field equations you have to find an effective low energy action that is fully compatible with the quantum conformal symmetry of the original closed string theory describing the massless bosonic excitations at the classical level."

"If we consider the string as a rolled sheet we can have actions within the topology of the sheet, rolling and unrolling as well as knotting in more than 4 dimensions"

He starts drawing out a series of complex equations "So the GR field equations are revealed to be just the field equations obtained from a series of low energy massless bosonic actions across the string."

"This way you can even generate corrections to GR by going to higher level terms in the double curvature and string interaction expansion."

" In this model the metric tensor of space-time is separated in two parts, the background metric and a fluctuating part that is then quantized. In the context of my theory the graviton is a series of closed string states present in regions of fluctuating curved space-time with respect to the background metric."

Everyone stares at him open mouthed.

Raj breaks the silence with a "Holy Cow!"

Leonard and Lesley look at each other in shock. Leonard stutters "s..so you have a working model of gravitation in string theory? this is.. is groundbreaking!"

Lesley looks silently furious and starts reading, face screwed up in a scowl.

Howard is reading the schematics Sheldon has drawn out. "These are amazing. If I can get the funding I should be able to get a prototype set up in a few weeks. Does a metal doped graphene superconductor exist like this? I've never seen one before"

Sheldon shakes his head "Not yet. actually several of the materials I've described are currently only theoretical but possible - If Tony Stark can invent a new element why can't I? But we should be able to make a superconductive mesh for a low rate field generator and if that works we can use it to stabilise the others"

After they've gone, Penny gives Sheldon a victory hug, but asks "Why was Lesley so mad? as she left she looked kind of down"

"Down? I hope she's totally crushed. I made sure to show how my theory is superior to her idiotic belief in loop quantum gravity. My victory has destroyed one of her most cherished theories, proving my superiority."

"She looked mighty pissed"

"Good. I hope she takes it out on Leonard, it'll do them both good."

"you are revolutionising the entirety of science for revenge?"

"No, I'm using my breakthrough for revenge, it's a subtle difference. Lesley is crushed for her insolence and should now acknowledge my superior intellect. Leonard will be put into his place and hopefully forced to admit he likes it. The natural order of things is restored, with Me on top and you by my side."

"Sounds like we should celebrate!"

"Just what I was thinking" He says, grabbing her shirt and half dragging her to the bedroom.

Later, lying in bed, naked except for her collar. He's asleep, arm draped over her

She strokes her collar, taking comfort in its solid security and thinks to herself "I've a feeling my future is going to feature a lot of being naked and kneeling at this man's feet... probably with his initials stamped on my ass"

The idea of a tattoo or even a brand on her flesh gives her a warm surge of lust. She snuggles closer to him "and you know what? I'm kind of alright with that"