So up here is some Crosshair backstory because I messed with the entire bad batch and this is gonna help the fic make more sense and more angsty.
In my version Crosshair didn't grow up with the bad batch. He joined them when they were teenagers, nearing their final stages of growth. This is because Crosshair wasn't created with the intention of having an enhancement like Tech, Wrecker, Hunter and Omega were. Crosshair was born blind and with albinism and for whatever reasons the Kaminoans decided to let him live and stuck him with a squad and eventually gave him cybernetic eyes.
Crosshair's squad really didn't like him. Like at all. They hated him because he looked different from them because of his pale skin and blond hair and they often called him a defect and complained that he slowed them down because he didn't get cybernetic eyes until he was around ten (like physically ten) And the other clones on Kamino made fun of the squad for having a 'defect' among them and they always bullied Crosshair with the threat of decommissioning.
Crosshair really wanted the approval of his squad and did everything in his power to get better. He worked harder in training, and got better at everything than his squad. Which made them hate him even more because he was surpassing them and catching the attention of trainers and the Kaminoans. So one day his squad played to Crosshair's weaknesses and invited him to sit with them at supper since Crosshair had been sitting in a supply closet with 99 for all of his meals because he had no one else to sit with.
Crosshair got ready, and he was elated in the fact that maybe just maybe his squad was going to accept him. But when he arrived his squad beat him up and humiliated him in front of everyone.
That's all the backstory for Crosshair, and in this fic it's going to be we're gonna pretend the finale didn't happen because I didn't like it that much.
So episode fifteen happened, episode sixteen not so much. Also something else that did not happen in this fic is Crosshair does not have his chip out, because that was dumb and I seriously disbelieve that Crosshair would ever choose the Empire over his brothers. So. To summarize, Crosshair doesn't have his chip out, the bad batch takes it out. And Crosshair was unconscious for a very long time and the bad batch was able to get off Kamino easier because I said so.
Without further adieu, please enjoy!
He could feel a low buzzing in the back of his head. It wasn't the stabbing headaches he'd been suffering through for the past few months, which he was thankful for. He vaguely remembered being stunned, and he could tell that the effects hadn't fully worn off since all of his limbs still felt like lead.
Crosshair could still hear distant shouting of the bad batch in the background. Probably Hunter fussing over that stupid kid. He gingerly attempted to push himself up but the ship jolted, slamming him into a crate and everything went dark.
The next time he woke up, Crosshair didn't make the same mistake of trying to get up immediately. His body still felt too heavy to even try to move. Someone had positioned him upright against a crate, and he could still feel the subtle hum of a ship underneath him. His hands were cuffed in front of him and as far as he could tell he wasn't cuffed to anything.
He could hear the telltale click of a blaster, and he internally cursed as he finally mustered the strength to blink his eyes open. Wrecker was sitting in front of him, his blaster coming to attention, level with Crosshair's heart.
"Really?" Crosshair spat, Wrecker looked blankly from his blaster to his brother before lowering it.
"Guys, he's awake!" Wrecker called, Crosshair's head dropped to rest against the crate trying to ignore the backflips his stomach was doing. He could hear muffled whispers outside the room until the rest of the bad batch entered. Omega kept hiding behind Hunter's legs, a hand latched onto the Sargent's belt as she peeked curiously at him. Crosshair glanced from Hunter, to Tech, who had a hand hovering over his blaster, and then Echo who wouldn't even look at him. Crosshair's gaze instantly fell into an icy stare.
And for a moment no one spoke as they eyed him. In the silence Crosshair's mind jumped to that final moment before he'd been stunned by Hunter. Staring at the man who he thought had loved him.
Hunter took one tentative step toward him,
"Crosshair I-"
"No," Crosshair said softly, the word fell so easily off his tongue. He hadn't been able to say no in so long. And yet… his brothers seemed to think that he had a choice in this whole matter. That he'd chosen to stay with the Empire. He could almost find himself laughing at the whole situation. In the fact that he'd thought they'd come back for him. He was so close to outright laughing at all of it.
The Empire abandoned him. They'd left him, just like his so-called brothers. They'd left him so many times.
Everything he'd ever had was gone.
Kamino was sinking into the ocean. He'd hated Kamino. He always had. So much of his pain and suffering had happened on that stupid planet and yet something deep ached inside of him as the reminders of the facility had sunk into the sea.
And the only family he'd ever had was gone too. And he was faced with a sea of strangers.
To think he'd thought they loved him.
Crosshair finally pushed himself to his feet, wavering slightly as he tried to keep a strong stance. "Kriff you Hunter," he snarled lowly, with all of the venom he could muster "Kriff you,"
Nothing he could think of at the moment could express how he felt. How much he wanted to absolutely hate Hunter. But that one part of his heart couldn't let Hunter go.
But it didn't matter that he hadn't been able to come up with anything more biting. It had served its purpose in Hunter's face. Crosshair may as well h ave decked him with the hurt look that was gracing Hunter's face. Omega shrunk even further behind Hunter's legs, staring at the sniper with wide and terrified eyes.
In fact all of his brothers had seemed to take a step back. Again Crosshair wanted to laugh. This is what his brothers had been reduced to? Taking in strays, running towards strangers to rescue them for nothing and they wouldn't come back for him? He'd heard about clones they'd gone after in the Empire. Clones like CC- 5576-39. They'd gone after every single person in the galaxy but him.
A chuckle finally did escape his lips as he sat in his pain. As he sat in those waves of rage and jealousy. So much for never leaving a man behind.
Crosshair stared at Hunter waiting for him to say something. That little spark was blooming in his chest, as that one little piece of who he used to be begged him to give Hunter one last chance.
Hunter swallowed, his hand falling back to his side. Crosshair waited, his face falling deeper into his icy glare. He was determined to not let any emotions come across to Hunter yet.
"Crosshair… I'm- we're sorry for- for everything-" Hunter began, tentative and careful, but Crosshair could read him. Crosshair knew Hunter better than anyone. He could tell Hunter meant it. But he didn't care. "We just-"
"Just what Hunter?" he asked, mirth dancing in his voice, "More excuses? More 'justification'?" he smirked,
"I-"
"Because Hunter, 'sorry' doesn't even begin to cut it." he spat, the smirk he'd been wearing fell. "It doesn't even come close," and there it was again. All those apologetic looks. Pretending they cared about him.
No one said anything. Crosshair huffed a laugh, glaring at all of them, "Seriously? You thought I would just forgive you? After what you put me through? After you left me?"
"Crosshair we didn't have a choice," Hunter said finally, "You tried to kill us!"
"And you think I had a choice!" Crosshair shouted, stepping toward Hunter, and instantly everyone had a blaster pointed at him.
Everyone but Hunter. "You think I chose to do all this! I had no choice, Hunter! Did you seriously think I was choosing the Empire? You knew about the chip. You know what they do. And don't think I didn't hear about what happened to Wrecker. What he did." Wrecker shrunk, "And you forgive him? You rescue him? You LEFT me!" Crosshair finally went silent, the only sound left was the ship humming and Crosshair's angry breaths. His shoulders finally slumped letting out a weak chuckle, "And you want to know the best part of all of this?" his voice finally steadying, "I waited for so long. I thought you'd come back for me. I thought you loved me." He looked to each of them before looking directly to Hunter, "I guess I was wrong."
"Crosshair we do-" Echo began, but Crosshair was quick to cut him off. He needed to finish. If he heard those words from Echo's mouth, he'd break. And he needed to finish all that he had to say before they said anything.
"At first I forgave you. Because yes I'd shot Wrecker, and the Marauder had obviously sustained some damage. And besides, you didn't know about the chips yet. So I thought I'd give you a few days to collect yourself and come up with a plan. I might not have been the main priority, and even if it hurt I knew you'd come back eventually." he said, his voice backing down toward his normal bland and uncaring tone, "But to my surprise, I found you three days later on Bracca. And you did this to me,"
He motioned vaguely to the massive burn creeping down into the neck of his blacks, and curling up and over the top of his head, covering most of the right side of his face. "You're so lucky I was born blind and have cybernetics because I would have been disposable to the Empire. I spent three days in a bacta tank and I still forgave you. Because I thought you'd come back for me. I tried to come up with every reason I possibly could think of while I sat in the medbay of why you couldn't save me on Bracca. Because there had to be a reason, right? But that changed after Ryloth." he said glaring at Hunter, "You could have come after me then. It would have been so easy for you to get me alone, to attack me from behind, distract me, stun me, shoot me for kriffs sake! I would have forgiven you for a couple shots to the shoulder, I wouldn't have cared because you had come back for me! But Ryloth showed me that you didn't care. You could have saved me if you wanted and you didn't. Not because you couldn't, but because you didn't want to. You didn't want me."
"Crosshair, we couldn't come to get you, it was dangerous and we had no time to come up with a plan!" Hunter exclaimed, "We tried-"
"You didn't try at all! I know because I waited for you! You didn't try." Rage exploded in his chest as Hunter tried to speak quickly again before he could be cut off by Crosshair,
"Crosshair, you previously had tried to kill us. And we had no money, we needed jobs, and food, and-"
Crosshair exploded, "THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!" He roared, "Not everything is kriffing about you Hunter! So just shut up for once in your kriffing life and just listen to me!" Hunter's mouth snapped shut, "Don't try to argue with me because you chose her over me," he said, pointing an accusatory finger at Omega, "You would move the kriffing stars in the sky for her, but as soon as it was convenient you dumped me like cheap trash." Crosshair zoned in on Hunter, eyes boring straight into his brother, "and after everything I told you?" he said softly, "I didn't tell them." he motioned around at the rest of the bad batch. "I never told them. Because I trusted you. I trusted you with where I came from. What happened to me. Because I thought you loved me."
Hunter's face fell, and Crosshair could see the tears beginning to glisten in his eyes, reflecting under the fluorescent cargo bay lights. But Crosshair didn't feel bad. Not after all the suffering Hunter had put him through. He wanted Hunter to feel that pain. "You were supposed to love me. And you chose her. You chose everyone but me." The whole of them fell silent as tears began to run down Hunter's cheeks.
Crosshair swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched Hunter fall inches from sobbing. So he moved away from them, heading toward the catwalk, and slamming the button to lower the ramp with his fists still cuffed together. Wrecker moved in front of him,
"What? Now you want to keep me?" Crosshair asked, his voice cracking, "Move," Wrecker didn't flinch, "Either move or uncuff me." he demanded, Hunter finally moved, grabbing the key from his belt and unlocking Crosshair's cuffs. His free wrists fell to his sides, and for a moment he could feel the tension in the room rise at the notion of him being free.
Crosshair said nothing and left the ship. Apparently, his brothers had been squatting at some sketchy bar in Ord Mantell. He already hated it here. He took a seat in the back, tracing the grooves in the table's wood.
He was alone for hours. But he guessed he was used to it now. He'd been alone for months. He'd grown up alone. He thought he'd killed that hopeful childish part of himself that craved the acceptance of others but he guessed he'd never have that.
He glanced up as Hunter entered the bar. Alone. Thankfully. He didn't know if he could have handled them all. "What do you want," He mumbled, Hunter stood awkwardly in front of the table, eyes red and puffy, nose raw, and tear tracks still evident, even against the darkness of his tattoo.
"You're right. And I know sorry isn't enough. And I know it'll never be enough. Not after what we- I did. You can never forgive me, and that's ok. I just want you to know that I still love you. Even if you'll never love me back again. I'll always love you." Crosshair stared at him for a moment, eyes finally falling back to the table as his vision blurred. He scooted over just a fraction before motioning at the empty spot in the booth next to him.
Hunter was slow to move but eventually, he did slide in next to Crosshair. Neither of them said anything. Not for a long time. But that was ok. Because it was a start.
I hope you enjoyed this! Sorry I haven't been writing/posting as often. Life is hectic as usual.
Thank you for reading and make sure to leave a review!
