Disclaimer: I don't own Shokugeki no Soma, just this story.


The True Gourmet that I want is absolute justice.

Erina, my daughter…

Won't you join me?

I jolted awake with a start, looking around frantically for any signs of my father. When I didn't feel his presence, I instead felt cool tears running down my face.

Another horrible dream…

Why am I still seeing this? I'm a rebel now. I know what I want out of cooking. So why am I still seeing something so horrible?

Do I still think these ideals are alright?

N-no! Of course not! Cooking should be an expression of one's self. It should be without restriction. Sōma taught me that.

But why?

This won't do anything. I wiped the tears away, and got out of my bed. While it was rather comfortable, the feeling of being in that bed didn't sit well with me.

But now, I can't sleep.

Maybe I need to clear my head. Yeah, that sounds right.

I quietly opened the door of my room, and closing it with the same lack of noise, started to roam around the Moon Shadow.

I used to see this train all the time, seeing the first years go on and traverse their way through the promotion exams. I used to be so excited when thinking of when I would be able to use this.

When thinking about it, I never expected to be under these conditions. So many of the friends I made during this first year are all expelled. While there were still four of us first year rebels left, the fact that Alice, Hisako, and everyone else lost their spot at Tōtsuki… it's chilling.

And now, when I think that their Tōtsuki careers… along with Megumi, Takumi and Sōma's are on the line…

And that I would have to go back to my father…

It's scary. It's a tough hill to climb, even with the caliber of the chefs that we have on our side of the Regiment. I don't know if all of our skills will be able to beat the top of the Elites. And I just can't imagine what it will be like if we lose.

But that's not for a while. Right now, I need to clear and reorganize my thoughts.

As I continued to walk through the various train cars, I took some time to look outside. The sky certainly is pretty. Beautiful, even.

I can attest that to that night when Sōma and myself looked in awe of the expanse of the night. Not to mention that silly joke he made.

I let out a giggle subconsciously. That joke was so out of the blue, that as dumb as the logic was, I couldn't help but laugh.

It's been like that for a while, with Sōma. That night was the first night I personally felt it, but it was true. I don't feel angry when I'm around him. I still feel annoyed at times, mind you. His tendency to act and talk irrationally still irritates me to no end. But I don't wish death upon him anymore. I don't wish for his expulsion, I don't feel the need to punch something when I see him. I feel… at peace? Is that the right term?

Honestly, I'm not sure. But I know that I don't really feel anything negative about him. I see him as my ally; one of my fellow rebels in our fight to take down my father and his corrupt ideals.

Although, when I look back at that night, I'm also reminded of his look of emptiness, his voice reflecting an unknown pain, and it haunted me. I still didn't know what that look meant.

As I entered one of the cars, I was met with a sight that was not expected: at one of the tables, the redhead in my thoughts was sitting, appearing to be sleeping. His head was on the table, his arms supporting the weight. It was an unexpected, but welcomed sight. Everyone knows of Sōma's horrible sleep schedule, so I wanted to give him the peace and quiet that he deserved.

I didn't want to wake him up and as such, I tried my best to traverse the train car quietly. Ultimately, it wouldn't work out, as I soon saw him flutter his eyes open, locking them on me.

"… Nakiri?" he asked, as he yawned and rubbed some sleep out of his eyes. "You're still up? You should be sleeping, you know? We still have some training to do tomorrow."

I scoffed, thinking of what he was just doing. "I could ask you the same thing, Yukihira. You have a bed of your own, you should not be sleeping in one of the chairs." I said with a hair flip, turning my head away from him. As I opened one eye to look for a response, I saw him grinning, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Yeah… I just couldn't sleep. I had some thoughts in my head, so I just sat here, thinking. Guess I must have knocked myself out without noticing."

I raised an eyebrow, curious as to how both of our excursions outside of our rooms were for similar reasons.

Before I could voice anything, he got up, and pointed to the couches located near the tables.

"Well, since we're both up, you want to sit?"

I looked to the suggested seats: a round table, a long, circular couch extending most of the way, a view through the window, finished off with a curtain set for privacy. A fancy talking area for a fancy train. Just as I would expect from my family.

Even so, I didn't think much of Sōma's question, and I nodded. We got inside the little room, and we sat there for a few moments in silence.

It felt awkward, but when I looked at the redhead in front of me, he was just staring off, out into the night once again.

"Yukihira? What's on your mind?" I decided to ask, curious as to what would cause the normally energetic redhead to be so quiet and thoughtful.

"Hmm… just thinking about stuff." He said, and I let out a breath of annoyance.

"Of course, you would be thinking about something, idiot. Is there anything specific on your mind?" I tried to clarify, as apparently, asking what someone was thinking wasn't detailed enough.

He let out a soft chuckle, becoming silent after once again.

"Would it kill you to be a bit kinder, Nakiri?" He asked, but it was obvious in his voice that he was just joking. Honestly, the animosity I held for Sōma has mostly went away, ever since he made me realize what cooking really is. The cold voice is just remnants of what's left of my old, rich girl self. But he knew I wasn't being entirely serious with my words, so he, like always, just laughed it off.

"I could, but not to you, Yukihira." I said, smiling at this banter. My face became more serious after that. "But you're not answering me. I would like to know."

Sōma let out a small sigh, of annoyance or thought, I couldn't entirely tell. My heart opted to think the latter, but there was this feeling in the back of my head that suggested the former. Which would have been unfortunate, as I feel that the various meetings we've had since that night in his room have improved our relationship.

My feelings were proven right, however, as Sōma started his talk.

"Well… I was just thinking about the future." He said, and I felt a bit confused. Said confusion was likely written on my face, as Sōma looked at me skeptically.

"What?"

"I'm just confused… you're always thinking about cooking or food in someway." I let out a chuckle. "I'm surprised you were thinking of something so deep."

He sighed again, us sharing a small laugh after.

"Yeah, it's a bit surprising coming from me. I just… I just don't know what I want to do at Tōtsuki." The breath Sōma let out felt a lot more melancholic, as he stared off into the night again, his arms on the table. His face was serious, no joking aura in sight.

This look was a bit unsettling. The way his entire body exuded this aura of uncertainty, an expression I never would associate with him…

I couldn't just sit there, and not try to understand him. We're… acquaintances now. And as his acquaintance, I wanted to try and help. I don't know if I can do anything, but there's something in putting in some effort and trying, right?

I tentatively reached out my hand, and gently shook Sōma's resting arm. That seemed to break him from his trance, as he shook his head, turning his eyes back to me. When I looked back at him, I could see that his eyes were not as bright as they usually were. They always had a joy that existed in them, but it looked to be filled with some hints of sadness.

"Oh… sorry about that, Nakiri." He gave a light smile, while I looked at him with concern.

"Yukihira… what do you mean by not knowing what to do? You are one of the top chefs of this generation of students at Tōtsuki, and your future is bright. Is there something else?" I was genuinely curious and concerned about the thoughts of the redhead in front of me. As annoying as he can be from time to time, especially back when we first met, I hold a great deal of respect for him. His unorthodox methods of cooking truly symbolize the idea of the rebellion. And, it was the path for me to see the light.

For him to have any conflicting thoughts about his time here, whether it be the past, present or future, I wouldn't let that go unnoticed.

Not for Sōma, nor for any of the rebels.

"Well, besides trying to become better than pops… I don't know why I'm cooking. Sure, it's fun, it's great to become better at something… but, there's just something missing, you know?" Once again, that look of unexplainable sadness was there, taunting the both of us.

Telling him that his cooking life wasn't enough, telling me to try and do something. I felt powerless. How could I try and help him come to an answer, when I feel like I know nothing about him?

But at that moment, something came to mind.

"Well… you promised that I would eventually say that your food is good." I looked to his face as I voiced my idea. That promise seemed rather important to him, so I thought it would be good to bring up. Luckily, that did the trick, as the look of melancholy was absent, a small, but genuine chuckle accompanying a bright face.

"I did, didn't I?" I was eager to nod, happy to see some life in his eyes.

"You did. And if I remember right, I still have not said anything of the sort." Another chuckle came, and I felt… glad. Glad to see the Sōma I respect once again.

"You're right, Nakiri." Sōma gave a nod, and his face held a determination I never saw before.

"Alright then! I will make you say my food is good one day, I swear it to you." The conviction in his voice was something unfamiliar to me. I haven't heard him with this amount of drive and passion for a while. To hear it now, when he's just making a promise to me, was comforting, that I could give him that motivation.

"I'm sure you will, Yukihira. Try me." I said mockingly, causing him to grin.

"Believe me, I will do it eventually."

We fell into a comfortable silence, allowing the both of us to think. I could feel the cold breeze flowing through the air, and it did feel a bit uncomfortable.

But more than that, the lack of words between us brought me back to what kept me awake in the first place. And that was what got me shivering; just thinking of the past, back when my father had complete control of me. When he would hurt me, just so he can get his way.

Before any tears could form, though, I was alerted of Sōma's lingering presence.

"Hey, you alright Nakiri?" He started to look around the small room, curious as to why I was shivering. "It's a bit cold in here, isn't it? I can-"

"N-no. It's not that Yukihira." I stopped him before he could do anything irrational. But… I felt compelled to say something to him. He revealed something so personal to me, something that was haunting him for a while.

Does that make us friends? Him revealing his problems to me?

I don't think so. Not until I do the same.

But… should I? I mean, yes, I have revealed my inner turmoil to him before. That was what helped me see the light, after all. But to say something so deeply rooted as the reason I fear my father…

No, get past that, Erina. Sōma… he's a friend. Well, not a friend yet. But he will be. He's important to me, in a similar way that I'm important to him.

"Well, what's up then? I know I dropped some pretty heavy stuff on you, so I can hear you out. It's the least I can do."

I gave him a light smile. That's also why I felt compelled to tell him. Despite his annoyances, he can be a good listener when he needs to. I've seen him help so many people if they had a problem.

He's even helped me as well.

But can he do it again?

Ultimately… I don't know.

"Um… I'm not ready to tell you yet, Yukihira. I apologize." I bowed my head. I hated that for as caring as Sōma was trying to be, I just pushed him away. I don't want to reject any help, not anymore. And I will ask him, tell him what's wrong. Just not yet. I want to try and understand more of myself before opening up like that.

He gave me a smile once again, looking as bright as ever. "Alright then." He clasped my shoulder. "I won't force you. But just remember… I'm ready to listen, anytime you need to talk."

His smile brightened even more, if that was even possible, as he proceeded to get up, stretching out a hand to me, which I took, as we exited the small room.

"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow. Night Nakiri." He waved as he started leaving. I had a small smile on my face, content in knowing something important to Sōma.

"Good night, Yukihira-kun." Before we parted ways entirely, he turned back.

"Oh, and thanks for tonight! I appreciate it." He said, grinning once again. That smile from before was still present on my face, as I was happy that we became a bit closer. The first step in accepting that friendship.

"It was no problem at all. I'm happy to help." And I was. Helping Sōma was uplifting, which made me want to help him more.

"Alright, good night!" We finally parted ways after that. When I made it back to my bed, I was still scared of experiencing that nightmare again, but I felt a bit better with our talk in mind.

Won't you join, my dear daughter?

No… I don't want to.

But what do I want? W-what do I do?


Chapter End


A/N: Hi everyone!

Sorry for the long wait, but life and the like took over, not to mention that like I've mentioned before, I'm not too invested in the fandom anymore. I just don't watch too much anime/read too much manga, so a lot of stuff has not been sticking.

However, I want to finish this story. Most of the chapters are written, and have been for a long time (this chapter was first written almost a year ago), it's just my lack of motivation causing the super slow releases.

But I will get this story finished, because I don't want to leave any of you guys waiting for something that will never be done. This will likely be my last story in this fandom, and I might move on to something else, I'm not sure. But, that's for the future to decide.

Anyway, this chapter is starting to develop more of the relationship between Soma and Erina. I'm pretty happy with it, although what makes sense to me might not to you guys, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Please leave a review! People have been leaving reviews and the like, but again, due to lack of motivation, I haven't been responding. I do read every review, however, so if anything is bothering you, or you just want to leave your thoughts, I'll be there, reading it.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you soon!

It Was You Ch 3: Life is Beautiful - Uploaded 03.23.2018