This story was born because I imagined what a relationship between Laxus and Freed would be like before the battle of Fairy Tail. When Laxus is still an asshole and Freed… well, let's face it, he's not much better. I warn you right away that it will not be a good relationship. The rating is explicit for a reason, this is NSFW.
Enjoy the reading.
WARNING: homophobic language.
I'm not a God
He felt the alcohol go down his throat as chaos reigned around him. The inn bartender continued to brew beer after beer, the waitresses passed the tables taking away the empty glasses and putting down the full ones, the men began to sing and talk in louder tones, and the women began to wink and pay less attention to their necklines. A typical night in an inn.
He glanced around the room and saw Evergreen still alert flirting with a dark-skinned, muscular man. The girl had a mischievous smile on her lips and she had lowered her neckline, revealing more of what she normally did. But Laxus already knew how it would turn out for the poor man: Evergreen would leave him with blue balls and she would like to know she still had sex appeal.
Looking ahead he saw that instead Bickslow was laughing as he walked up the stairs with two girls. One was clinging to his arm, her short skirt raised too high showed part of her ass and the gait was crooked. The other was making out with the boy, a bit clumsy since they were both walking.
The only one who wasn't enjoying himself was him. Well, and Freed. The boy had disappeared a few minutes ago. He always disappeared on those evenings, Laxus had no idea what he was doing. Maybe he was having fun with some women as well as Bickslow did. Or maybe he just didn't like parties. After all, he had never seen Freed get drunk, or flirt with anyone. It was very likely that he had walked away because he didn't like chaos.
Laxus took another sip of beer, trying to focus on the girl who was smiling at him from a nearby table. She was a beautiful girl, without a shadow of a doubt. Her long dark hair framed her face and her red lips were curled in a winking smile. The dress she wore showed practically everything. Her big breasts, her tight waist and when she got up Laxus could see her long legs walking elegantly around the bar.
Despite this, his gaze was drawn more towards the man who drank alone at the bar. For some reason, Laxus found himself staring hard at his exposed chest from his open shirt, his muscular arms flexing each time he threw a dart at the target, and his hard jaw covered with a light beard.
He felt a chair shift and Laxus immediately looked away, seeing that he was Freed. He had come back from wherever he had been up until now. Laxus hoped he hadn't seen who he was looking at, and picked up the beer again, only to realize it was empty.
"I ordered you another one, it will arrive shortly," Freed said. Laxus nodded, glancing at him and wondering if he had seen. He couldn't understand it, his gaze was always an impenetrable expression. Either way, he wasn't going to ask, and if Freed ignored it, so much the better. Also, Freed had promised to follow him everywhere years ago, so he needn't have worried. No matter what he found out about him, Freed would stay by his side.
He had to do it. He had promised it.
"I didn't expect to find you here again. You're usually in a room with a girl right at this time," Freed said. Laxus knew this. Usually he found one, trying hard not to think about the man who had really caught his attention - usually a stranger particularly undressed with a clear attraction to men - and took her to bed. But he couldn't really find the satisfaction he was looking for, and he found himself incredibly envious of Bickslow.
The Seith wizard always managed to have fun, Laxus always saw him attract the attention of more women easily. It wasn't strange, Bickslow was definitely a handsome boy, and he was no doubt more flirtatious than him. Laxus tried to put that thought in the back of his mind. Bickslow was a man, he couldn't think of him as handsome. Just as he couldn't think the same of Freed. Still, those thoughts were hitting him more than they should have in the last few months.
"There aren't any interesting ones," Laxus replied. It was true, no woman could get his attention. Even though he knew that they were objectively beautiful and that they would have sex with him, he couldn't find one that satisfied him.
The waitress at that moment placed two beers on their table and Laxus immediately took a long sip. He looked up and saw that Bickslow was still at the top of the stairs. He still hadn't been able to reach his room because the two girls had clung to him and made it difficult for him to walk. Laxus gritted his teeth, finding himself envious of Bickslow. Why couldn't he be like that too? Finding a woman and having fun without too many problems?
"Looks like Bickslow will have a good time tonight," Freed commented as he drank from the mug. Laxus looked away from the Seith wizard.
"Aren't you having fun?" he asked.
"I've already done that," Freed replied.
Laxus was silent for long seconds. Great, even Freed was having fun. He was the only jerk who couldn't do it.
He dived again on alcohol to have an excuse not to answer. He had never thought about Freed's sex life, he tried not to do it with his guildmates, even if more than a few times he had thought about both members of Raijinshuu. Never on Evergreen, although the girl was very attractive. He found himself nervous again.
"Sex is overrated," he said dryly. Maybe he should have stopped drinking for that night. He felt Freed's eyes on him and Laxus thanked the fact that it was him and not Bickslow, who would laugh out loud and tell him that he was missing the best thing in life. "A waste of time and in most cases you find women so drunk they don't even know how to give you a blow job," he growled.
Freed was silent, and Laxus saw for a moment the man at the counter stand up and throw another dart. Laxus's eyes flew to his back tight in a pair of leather pants that left little to his imagination. Because of his alcohol, his defenses were lowering, but he forced himself to return his gaze to the red-lipped girl. Before Freed saw, if he hadn't already. Laxus sincerely hoped not.
"Maybe you shouldn't go with women," Freed said. The phrase came very quietly from his mouth and Laxus whirled towards him.
"What?" he asked. Had Freed seen? Oh god, Freed had seen.
"Try sleeping with men. Maybe they satisfy you more," the rune wizard said clearly. Laxus tensed his jaw and squeezed his fingers on the glass.
"I'm not a fag," he growled. Freed looked at him. The look betrayed no emotion and Laxus didn't know what to think. If he was disgusted, skeptical or something else. Surely though, he didn't believe his words and that pissed Laxus off. "Do I look like one of them to you?"
"Why you shouldn't be," Freed retorted, his tone harder than normal. Or maybe it was Laxus who was imagining him, honestly, he didn't care.
"Because I'm not one of those weak queers. I'm a man, damn it," he snapped. Freed arched an eyebrow and was silent for a moment. Laxus heard the strong beating of his heart in his ears.
"Do you think I'm weak?" Freed asked. Laxus frowned in confusion, wondering what this had to do with what they were talking about. They were talking about something else, not Freed. "When I said I had fun, I forgot to tell you that I did it with a man".
Laxus felt his mouth dry, and his eyes widen slightly. If it wasn't Freed but anyone else, he would've told him that he didn't want to know anything about a gay's sex life. But he was Freed, the wizard who had promised to be with him. He couldn't say anything and it was Freed who kept talking.
"I don't know what your beliefs about us are," he began. "But I ask you, do you think this makes me weaker and less of a man?" he asked him. Laxus didn't answer, he squeezed his glass even tighter and stared into Freed's blue eyes, which were waiting for an answer. But the answer didn't come and Freed got up from the table. "If you don't think so, then you shouldn't worry about who really attracts you," he said and then walked away, up the stairs and into his room.
Laxus didn't know what to think.
Laxus was angry. No, Laxus was furious. He could have triggered a storm at any moment as he walked into the room where Freed was resting. A single glance at the guildmate was enough to piss him off even more. He had bandages that covered his entire abdomen, his arm was full of wounds and it was a miracle that his limb was still attached to his shoulder.
Freed sat down on the mattress and gave him an indecipherable look.
"What the hell went through your head, huh?" Laxus bellowed.
"That attack would've hit you," Freed said simply. That answer infuriated Laxus even more.
"I would've handled it!" he yelled. "What do you think, that I'm not strong enough to be able to fight someone alone?" he growled out of his mind. The sparks flew from his arms and made the room full of static energy, which made the hair on Freed's head stand on end.
"I'm part of your guardhouse," Freed reminded him harshly. That pissed Laxus even more, because he knew Freed was right.
"Well, I don't need a fucking bodyguard!" he screamed. "Nor do I need your help. I fight my battles alone, don't you dare get in the way anymore," he growled.
"We were all fighting together," Freed said as he got out of bed. Laxus let his eyes wander around his body for a moment. Although thanks to the magical healing of Oshibana's healer his friend was now much better, the fact remained that Freed had hurt himself for him. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but this time Freed had long lost consciousness and Laxus had honestly felt scared. Especially after seeing the exaggerated amount of blood that had gushed out of his wounds.
"I was fighting their leader, you had to manage his underlings," Laxus growled.
"You needed help," Freed said, raising his voice.
"I don't need your fucking help, I'm the God of Thunder!" Laxus yelled and a bolt of lightning shot from his arm, hitting the room lamp and letting the room darken slightly. The few rays of the sun that were covered by clouds that day illuminated the bedroom very little.
Laxus felt more electricity pass through his arms but struggled to calm him down, even though he still felt pissed. He was concerned. But above all, pissed off. Because Freed didn't have to protect him, he didn't have to come between him and that shot. Because he was Laxus Dreyar, the Thunder God, he could fight alone.
Freed was silent for long seconds, scanning his face and then he opened his mouth to speak. His voice came out lower than normal, but still firm.
"Is that really what pisses you off?" he asked him and without waiting for an answer he continued. "You know how much I admire you and how much I believe in you, you know I think you're the most powerful wizard I know," Freed said. For some reason knowing that Freed thought those things about him made him proud. Perhaps because he was the first along with Evergreen and Bickslow to think so, and that he didn't give credit to his father or grandfather. And he knew that Freed really meant it. He knew that Freed really compared him to a God.
"Well, it seems you didn't think that today," Laxus growled between his teeth.
"Even a God needs help".
"Not me," Laxus said quickly.
"Maybe," Freed said. "But I chose to defend you at the cost of my life," he added. That phrase for some reason didn't please Laxus, who felt a strange discomfort in his stomach. He didn't want it. He didn't want Freed to put his life back for him.
"I don't need you," he repeated, albeit less angry than before.
"What's the real reason you're pissed off?" Freed asked.
Laxus didn't answer, refusing to say it. Refusing to say he was worried, that he didn't want his friends to die for him. Friends? Since when did he have friends? He studied Freed's face, whose features had softened. It was an expression that Laxus saw a few times, and only when they were alone. Something that addressed only him. Something that somehow made him feel warm inside.
Perhaps that was why Laxus gave in. Or maybe it was the terror that still coursed through his body, due to the memory of Freed passing out during the battle. The fact is that Laxus pushed Freed against the wall, knocking his back against the hard concrete. Then he closed the distance between them and brought their lips together, in a hungry kiss that he had wanted to give him for too long. Precisely, from the night he discovered that Freed was like him.
The kiss terrified him instantly and at the same time turned him on. The most exciting thing was that Freed was reciprocating. Indeed, he was doing it.
He had placed his hands on his shoulders and was moving his lips over him, with such force that Laxus felt weak. Because Laxus wanted to stay between those lips forever. He hated feeling like this, but at the same time he didn't want to stop. Without even realizing it, he was clutching his hands on Freed's bare hips, bringing their bodies together and enjoying the closeness he had long desired.
He didn't know if it was because it was Freed, or if it was because he was the first man he was kissing, but Laxus found himself addicted. He wanted more. And he wanted it right away.
He opened the palm of his hand and ran it all over his torso, enjoying those muscles that so far he had only been able to admire from a distance. God, he wanted it. He wanted it so badly that he already felt hard in his pants. He wanted him so badly that he wanted to drag him to bed and bang him without thinking.
Indeed, he did. He grabbed Freed by the hips and pushed him towards the bed. The rune wizard surprisingly didn't object, he folded his hands around Laxus's neck and intensified the kiss, making their tongues collide in an explosion of emotions. Laxus lowered his hand until he reached Freed's crotch. At that moment the boy beneath him parted from his lips panting.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Laxus asked hoarsely.
"No," Freed gasped as the blonde tugged at his erection.
"Sex," Laxus replied. "Just sex," he specified.
"You know I'm a man, right?" Freed asked and Laxus stiffened. They hadn't spoken since that time, but Freed apparently hadn't forgotten. Obviously.
"Shut up," he growled.
"I just want to warn you, since last time you didn't seem willing to have sex with a fag," Freed said a bit poisonous. It was amazing how hard his tone came out despite how much he was panting under his touches.
"I said shut up," Laxus repeated. Freed didn't listen to him.
"Are you really capable of having sex with a man? Are you really ready to open your legs for me? ". Laxus tensed instantly, but he didn't take his hand out of Freed's crotch.
"What makes you think I'll be bottom?" he answered him in a roaring growl.
"What makes you believe that I will adapt to whatever you want," was Freed's immediate response. Laxus didn't answer and stopped the movement of his hand. He knew that as loyal as Freed was to him, he wasn't going to have sex with him just because Laxus wanted. And Laxus didn't want to force him. Besides, he didn't even know if Freed would be interested. True, he liked men, but he didn't necessarily like him. He fucking made a fool of himself and what was worse was that Freed was his friend. Or a person Laxus cared about to some extent anyway. He didn't want to force him. But he wanted him. So much.
Freed's expression softened as he had done just before, and the boy placed a hand on his cheek. A somewhat sweet gesture that calmed the heartbeat in Laxus's chest.
"What do you want, Laxus?" he asked again, in a sweet tone that clashed with the usual Freed he was used to. It clashed with the Captain of the Raijinshuu who took the situation in hand without scruples. Laxus swallowed and looked at him uncertainly, feeling obnoxiously weak again.
"I just want to have sex with a man," he said in a hoarse voice. Freed nodded.
"Okay," he said and Laxus almost didn't believe it. But he didn't have time to think about his answer as Freed's mouth was on him and his hands pulling up his shirt and down his pants.
He found himself naked before he could even realize it, with Freed equally naked under him. It was going all too fast, a moment before he was talking to Freed and now he found himself rubbing against him. Against his muscular body that he had secretly admired, against his cock that was already losing a few drops.
He was fucking horny.
And Freed was perfect. And too damn fast. His hands before were all over him and then they had taken lube from the nightstand next to the bed. His legs before were tangled in his, and then spread apart as he prepared himself beneath him.
And Laxus was going crazy at the sight. He couldn't believe it. He was about to have sex with a man. He was about to have sex with Freed. He couldn't get it that he felt Freed's hands on his cock, massaging and sliding a condom over it. Laxus couldn't hold back a groan.
"We can stop whenever you want," Freed said out of breath, red cheeks and dilated pupils. Laxus paused for a moment to look at him. He honestly had never seen Freed in those states. He had never seen the stiff Captain of the Raijinshuu out of a firm expression. And now his face was open beneath him, clearly aroused, his hair untangled and untidy on the pillow. Laxus thought he'd never forget Freed's messy sight.
"I don't want to stop," he retorted and positioned himself between his legs. He pushed into him and felt a warm sensation radiate from his groin all over his body. The heat rise to his skin. He hadn't moved and was already ready to come.
He filled Freed completely, and opened his eyes that he didn't realize he had closed. Freed had an ecstatic expression under him. An expression that Laxus didn't want to forget. They breathed into each other's mouth for a few seconds, remaining still so that Freed got used to it.
Then Laxus began to move. He started off slowly, enjoying the expressions and moans that left Freed's lips. It was fucking gorgeous. As the speed increased, the excitement rose more and more and the noises they both made increased in volume, filling the room around them. He saw Freed grab his cock and start masturbating, and Laxus felt even hotter.
He didn't want it to end, but he felt that his orgasm was rising. He tried to restrain himself and leaned over Freed, madly kissing his neck and snatching another moan from his mouth. Immediately afterwards he felt something wet on his stomach, and everything tighten around him.
Laxus could no longer restrain himself and came breathing and groaning into Freed's neck, continuing to push until he felt completely emptied. At that point he collapsed on top of the boy, without immediately detaching himself and inhaling the intense perfume of Freed.
Honestly, he couldn't feel better.
He stood there for long seconds before moving away from Freed and lying down beside him. For the first time he felt fully satisfied. He now understood what Bickslow meant when he said that sex was great. He remained silent, catching his breath, until Freed sat up in bed and glanced at him.
Painfully Laxus noticed that he had returned to his usual impassive expression. Freed picked up the clothes from the floor, put on boxers and pants and stood up.
"I hope you're satisfied. See you tomorrow, the train is at eight," he said and then walked out of the room, leaving Laxus alone.
He didn't know why but he felt his heart tighten and a sudden desire to cry. It was not sadness, nor happiness. It was something he couldn't understand.
The lips slid down his neck and Laxus found himself holding back a groan without success. Freed's hands were resting on his chest. His thighs were wrapped around his hips. Freed's rhythmic movement sinking against his cock was sending Laxus out of control. The pleasure kept increasing, like the heaviness of their breaths, and the speed of Freed's thrusts.
"Shit" Freed escaped when he let Laxus' cock go all the way in. Laxus shivered. He loved hearing those sounds. He loved hearing that Freed was having fun too. He loved knowing that this wouldn't be the last night, but that there would be another one.
And then another.
And yet another.
The first time he didn't know that it would become a habit, and now instead at the end of each mission they always met in a room of the inn. And Laxus was waiting for nothing but that. He turns off the light, turns off his mind and lets himself be overwhelmed by instinct.
It was all he wanted. Everything he needed.
Freed increased the thrusts, becoming more and more frantic and wild. Laxus wrapped Freed's cock in his fingers and started pumping. He didn't know why, but he wanted Freed to enjoy as much as he did. Maybe it was just a matter of pride, but he always wanted to make sure his friend went back to his bed next time.
And then Freed's moans. He loved hearing them, he loved hearing Freed swear. It didn't always happen. To tell the truth it happened a few times, and those times Laxus always felt overwhelmed by excitement. There was nothing better than Freed letting himself go to the wilder side of him, abandoning his cold expression and letting the most perverse noises come out of his lips.
"God," Freed gasped on his face. The broken voice, his face showed an expression of pleasure. Then he came, slowing his thrusts and splashing on Laxus's hand.
"Fuck," Laxus moaned looking at Freed in the faint light from the window. As usual, that was enough to send him over, and Laxus found himself cumming in the condom, grabbing Freed's hips and slamming him into him.
When he felt the orgasm end, Freed collapsed on top of him, sinking his face into his neck and taking deep breaths. That tickled Laxus's neck, but the boy refused to move, enjoying the contact between their naked bodies. He just wanted to prolong that feeling as much as possible. Feeling Freed's bare skin, his sweat and his lips.
But as usual Freed moved quickly from him, sat down on the mattress and as if nothing had happened began to dress. Laxus let him do it, still lying there with shortness of breath. After all, they were just having sex.
What did it matter if Freed cared about him on missions? What did it matter if Freed said he was willing to do anything for him? What did it matter if Laxus felt shudder every time he saw his guilmate in danger? What did it matter if every time Freed left his room, Laxus felt his heart skip?
It remained only sex.
And it was fine like that.
Laxus needed nothing more.
Every now and then he imagined what it would be like to sleep with Freed, what it would be like to wake up with Freed in his arms. He imagined the sweetest expression Freed had given him only a few times, but which Laxus still had imprinted on his mind. He imagined a sweet kiss, maybe a smile. Their hands touch. Their breaths mingle with the morning light, and not with that of the night lamp.
And every time Laxus hated himself. Why did he have to think about those things? They were futile, useless, pathetic things. He didn't need sweet gestures, he just needed to come. Using Freed's body only to enjoy. In those moments it didn't matter that Freed was his friend, that he was the captain of the Raijinshuu.
In those moments there were only two men fucking.
Freed was now fully dressed, grabbed his sword and neatly tied his hair. Laxus knew they would say goodbye longer this time. The Raijinshuu would undertake a mission that would keep them busy for many months. Laxus didn't know why, but for the first time he felt a little empty at the idea of them leaving. For the first time he felt like joining their mission. But he wouldn't do it. It was the Raijinshuu who followed him, not he who followed them.
"We leave in the morning, I think we should be back in three months," Freed said with his usual expressionless tone.
"Ok," Laxus nodded, showing no interest. He almost gave in, asking him to stay, but his words got caught in his throat and Freed walked out of the room, saying goodnight.
Laxus didn't answer, and as had already happened when his guildmate left his room, he felt a desperate urge to cry. If until then he had managed to hold back that stupid instinct, at that moment it all seemed too much.
He just wanted to get under the covers and sob. Instead, he got up, got dressed, and walked out of the inn, looking for a dark guild to take out all his anger on.
"Do you believe? That rookie took an S-class mission. You should've seen the old man's face, and he dared to ask me to go get him," Laxus said with an arrogant grin at the Lacrima in front of him.
It was Freed who had called him to brief him on their mission. After talking about what the Raijinshuu was doing, Laxus told how Natsu, the winged cat and a blonde whose name he couldn't remember, had taken an S-class mission.
"And let's not forget about Mirajane. I almost hoped to see her demon, but that girl has now lost all her strength," he said, resting his chin on his hand. Freed raised an eyebrow.
"Did he take an S-class mission? This is enough to expel him from the guild," said the rune wizard, evidently not very interested in Natsu's fate. It was actually difficult even for Laxus to see him interested in anything outside of him and Raijinshuu. Maybe that's why he was the ideal person to have by his side.
"Yeah, but I bet the old man won't," Laxus commented. "In any case I don't think it will be necessary, I doubt they'll come back alive to Magnolia," he said nonchalantly.
"Didn't the Master send anyone to take them back?" Freed asked.
"Yes, Gray. But I bet it won't do any good," the Dragon Slayer replied. "So much the better. Three less useless people in Fairy Tail," he commented harshly. Plus the cat. Freed didn't answer right away, and Laxus scanned his face, feeling a strange sensation in his stomach.
He wanted to talk to the wizard as much as possible. He didn't matter what, just hearing him was enough to make Laxus feel better. Maybe because he knew Freed would back him up. Or maybe because, even though Laxus hated to admit it, he missed him. Well, he missed having sex with him, it was normal. Laxus had needs, and Freed knew how to satisfy them.
This was all he missed about the boy.
"I was thinking of a new rule to introduce to Fairy Tail when you will be the Master," Freed said. Laxus became curious, Freed always had intelligent ideas. Unlike those idiots who frequented the guild, Freed didn't speak out of turn. "Downgrading a wizard from S-class. Mirajane hasn't been fighting for years now, I don't understand why she should still be considered an S-class wizard, when she clearly can't take on missions of that level."
Laxus smiled and found himself in agreement.
"Well, when I will be the Master, I will also introduce this rule. Also, I'll hunt the weaker wizards who only make us look bad," he said. Freed nodded.
"I think it's a good idea. Fairy Tail under you will thrive, I'm sure," he said. Laxus grinned, taking pride in that sentence. How much he wanted Freed to be there, how much he wanted to flap their lips together and undress him.
Unfortunately, however, he couldn't do it, and unfortunately Freed greeted him, telling him that he had homework to do, but not to hesitate to call him if he had to talk to him. They said goodbye and then closed the communication.
Laxus looked at the empty Lacrima for a while. The grin that he had printed on his face vanished, leaving room only for a bitter expression. He really wanted Freed to be there.
Laxus was getting pissed off more and more. The more the weeks passed, the more he realized that someone had to put an end to that farce. Fairy Tail had decided to defend a stupid blonde from Phantom Lord, and those two bitches had even asked him for help. As if Laxus would deign to help them.
Maybe they still didn't understand how things worked. Everyone was gossiping about Fairy Tail, because of the wizards who were part of it. That blonde was no exception. She was a stellar spirit sorceress who was unable to fight and who walked around with Natsu and the blue cat. To be sure, Laxus hoped they'd lose and that Phantom Lord would be able to kidnap the little girl and take her out of the guild.
Although on the one hand, he hated to think that Fairy Tail would be defeated by another guild. He wasn't surprised, however, by now the guild's strength had diminished over the years, due to his grandfather and his pathetic character.
Laxus had called Freed after arguing with Cana and Mirajane. Freed had agreed with Laxus, a sorceress who caused so much trouble in the guild was better to lose her than to find her, he had said. But then he had added that it would be better to help them, and that if they were closer the Raijinshuu would intervene. Not so much for the interest of the blonde, but to establish which was the strongest guild between Fairy Tail and Phantom Lord.
That revelation had pissed Laxus even more. He hated when Freed contradicted him. It happened a few times, but it was still irritating. Laxus had closed the communication almost immediately after, and had felt almost guilty for not having helped his guildmates. That hadn't changed his actions. By now he had told the two bitches that he wouldn't help them, and so he would.
Nonetheless, that episode ended well for Fairy Tail. Apparently, they had managed to win, despite the pathetic members who were part of it.
Too bad that a few weeks later the old man had decided to bring two members of Phantom Lord into Fairy Tail. Laxus was furious. Not only did the pathetic blonde remain in the guild despite all the damage she had caused, but now the two assholes who had caused trouble for Fairy Tail were entering as well.
Laxus now thought the old man had gone mad. Completely. It didn't fucking make sense, all that bullshit about forgiving people was getting over the top. He couldn't wait to beat the two assholes.
He couldn't wait for the Raijinshuu to return, so he'd finally turn the guild around and work out the plan. He needed Freed to do it. His mind and his runes, his power and maybe even his ass. Yes, a fuck would definitely have done him good at that point.
The Raijinshuu had finally returned from their mission. They had worked out the plan, and even though Freed had argued about a few things - like advising him to increase the training of the wizards before kicking them out of the guild - Laxus felt satisfied.
As he had thought, Freed would be very useful to him. He had explained to them which Jutsu Shiki would draw, forcing all guildmates to fight. He had shown them from the Magnolia map where he'd place them and Bickslow and Evergreen had been thrilled with the idea. Also, he'd set a lot of traps around the city, and make sure the Master couldn't leave the guild. Laxus was already enjoying it as he imagined the old man's face when they started the Battle of Fairy Tail.
He was going to be a lot of fun, and he already knew what it was going to change for the guild. First, he already knew which wizards to hunt. Although Freed had told him that training them could increase their skills, Laxus remained convinced of his idea. Mirajane couldn't train, she no longer used any kind of offensive magic, Nab was completely useless, and Visitor made him nervous every time Laxus looked at him.
In addition, the two members of Phantom Lord would be kicked in the ass. At least, Freed agreed on that. Those two didn't deserve a second chance. Not after how they destroyed their building, and not after how they ruined Fairy Tail's reputation.
It was all already decided, all prepared. Laxus could already see himself sitting above everyone as a Master, bringing Fairy Tail to splendor. With Freed, Evergreen and Bickslow alongside.
Especially Freed.
Speaking of the wizard, he was happy that he was back too so he could finally have some fun. He felt a bit pathetic to admit to himself that he had missed Freed. Ultimately, however, a man had needs. It was normal for Freed's body to be missing.
"Come with me," Laxus ordered as soon as they finished discussing the plan and Freed didn't object, following him without question. That was another reason Laxus liked him. In fact, there were many reasons why he liked Freed. Because he was loyal, smart, powerful, handsome, damn good in bed and… Laxus banished those last thoughts. They were irrelevant.
They entered Laxus' room and Freed closed the door behind. Then, without saying a word, Laxus pushed Freed against the wall, pretending to kiss and touch him. Fortunately, Freed didn't object.
Like the first time they went to bed, it all happened very quickly. Laxus tore off Freed's clothes, Freed undressed Laxus without much preamble, their lips sought each other as if they had waited no more for those three months. And indeed, Laxus had.
He had almost feared that Freed had forgotten about him while fucking with other men, but the boy was there. He was kissing him with such force that he seemed almost desperate. But it was Laxus who felt desperate. It was he who had craved that touch. His hands everywhere. Their chests against each other. Their cocks rubbing.
Laxus dragged Freed onto the bed. He didn't stop to look at him, instead, he immediately flung himself on his neck. He bit hard and hearing the wizard's uncontrolled moan sent a jolt to his cock. Oh yeah, he wanted to hear all the noises from him. He wanted to hear that Freed liked it. He wanted to know that Freed wanted him as much as he did.
He wanted to know that maybe, maybe, Freed had missed him too. It was ridiculous. Freed wouldn't miss anyone. Freed was an emotionless man, he only thought about his duties and that was why Laxus wanted him as his right-hand man.
Freed's hand reached his cock and began to wank it, and Laxus moaned on the wizard's neck. He was already panting and they hadn't started yet. His head was already beginning to cloud with pleasure, and he reached out on the bedside table. In a frenzy he dropped everything, but he grabbed the lube and slipped his fingers between Freed's legs.
After getting them wet, he pushed a finger into Freed's ass, and was surprised to hear the wizard already cursing.
"Shit, Laxus".
Oh God. How good his name sounded in his voice, in that tone. He wanted to hear more.
Laxus pushed his finger, then added the second and enjoyed the boy's moans. It had never happened that Freed was this loud from the start, but Laxus liked it. In fact, he wanted more. He damn wanted more. He didn't think he'd ever wanted anyone so much in his entire life.
Laxus tried to spread it out quickly, because he honestly couldn't help himself. He just wanted to get inside him and fuck him. He hit the right spot and a loud moan filled the room. Freed took his hand off his cock, then turned on his stomach.
"Fuck me," he ordered in a hoarse voice. A shiver of excitement ran through Laxus, who didn't have it repeated a second time. He slipped on the condom and pressed his member against Freed's hole, then entered.
"Oh God," Laxus moaned as he grabbed Freed's hips. Fuck, he was finally there. He didn't wait to start moving, and slowly and deeply thrusted into Freed. He wanted to fill him, he wanted to have him, he wanted to hear everything Freed had to moan about. He wanted to do it until dawn, and then start over.
From slower and deeper thrusts, he passed to ever more rapid, inconstant and purely savage thrusts. Stronger and stronger he continued to push and it took very little for both of them to come. Freed stained the sheet under them, while Laxus continued to push himself against him still in the throes of orgasm.
Perhaps the most intense he'd had in his life. He wanted to cry, and hold Freed, and never break away from him.
"Freed" moaned "Oh fuck Freed, I missed you," he moaned without even realizing it. The orgasm ended and he collapsed on top of him, letting go and panting in Freed's hair. Finally breathing in the smell of him, finally holding him in his arms.
He didn't want to break away. He didn't want that moment to end. He wanted to stretch it for eternity.
Then something woke him from his trance. Freed's voice. Soft, sweet and warm.
"I missed you too," he said.
Laxus let out a sigh, feeling a mad desire to hold him close. Instead, he realized what they had said and panic enveloped him. What the fuck had he thought of? It didn't matter that Freed reciprocated, he didn't have to say it. He didn't have to make himself so weak, so pathetic, so fragile.
Laxus released his embrace, slipped off Freed and threw the condom aside. Then he sat on the bed, waiting for Freed to leave as usual. The rune mage turned to him, and when Laxus looked at him he saw that he had a strangely sweet and almost loving expression. An expression that Laxus found himself wanting to always see. While they were making love, before and after.
A shiver ran through him. Since when did he think of sex as making love? The one with Freed was just and purely sex. Nothing more.
Freed reached out and brushed his cheek in a caress and Laxus remained motionless, while his heart was beating madly and a frighteningly affectionate heat filled his stomach. What the hell was going on?
"You're going to be a fantastic Master," Freed said softly. God, that tone Laxus had craved was making him feel weak. The Dragon Slayer turned away so as not to have to look him in the eye.
"I've to become Master first. Have you written all the Jutsu Shiki?" Laxus asked, forcing himself to have a controlled tone. Freed was silent for a moment, then withdrew his hand and assumed his usual impassive expression again.
"I'm going to finish the final details," he said as he dressed. Laxus wanted to ask him to stay. He wanted to ask him to sleep with him, not to abandon him, to read into him as only he knew how to do. Instead, he remained silent as Freed left the room.
The only reason he was able to sleep was because he was sure Freed would stay close to him.
It was finished. Fairy Tail, the missions, the adventures with the Raijinshuu, the nights with Freed. It was all over. And all because he had acted like an idiot. All because he had been acting selfish, because he had gone beyond his initial idea. Because he hadn't been able to stop. Because he had decided that becoming a Master was his goal.
He didn't focus on the strength of the guild, not only that. He had felt defeated, and he had never been defeated. Never, before that time. And now that he was, it was all over.
Now he had to tell his companions, and Laxus's heart clenched. He had seen them before he went to talk to his grandfather. He had seen Bickslow's wounds after he had fought Loke. He had seen Evergreen's bad mood after she was defeated by Erza. And he had seen the wounds on Freed's body.
Most of all, though, he had seen the pain in his eyes. He had seen it at the cathedral, but he had ignored it. Then he had seen it when Freed had silently accompanied him home to take care of him. Freed hadn't said a word, he had disinfected and bandaged his wounds. He hadn't said anything, but his expression spoke for him.
Because, for once, his face wasn't stiff and expressionless. This time Freed had been completely open to his emotions. He was disappointed, discouraged, guilty. Laxus hadn't even thanked him after Freed finished blindfolding him.
On the other hand, he had forced Freed to sit on the bed and had treated his wounds. He had never done this before. He usually let Bickslow and Evergreen do it. This time, however, Laxus wanted to make him understand that he was sorry for having dragged him into something like this. That he was sorry he attacked him at the cathedral, that he was sorry he ordered him to kill.
So, for the first time, Laxus had run his hands over Freed's body not to fuck him, or to enjoy his muscles. He had done it only and solely to take care of him, to show him something. Something he couldn't say or put into words. Freed had let him do it, he hadn't asked any questions. He hadn't said anything.
Which was odd, Freed always had something to tell him. He always had the ideal words in his mouth, whether it was cheering him up, or making him think. But this time he didn't have them.
Laxus finally spoke, telling him he was going to talk to his grandfather, and Freed didn't answer. He just nodded, then turned to the window and let his gaze no longer rest on him. Laxus had waited a couple of seconds before exiting the room, hoping to hear an answer. When he realized it wasn't coming, he went out.
He had faced his grandfather, and now the knowledge of having to get out of Fairy Tail was hitting him. He had to tell Freed, Bickslow and Evergreen. But first, he wanted to talk to Freed alone. He felt the need to do it, to tell him that the nights they had spent together weren't just a surge. He needed to do it before he left, and he didn't even know why. But the idea of not seeing him for the next few months was killing him.
He entered Freed's house and walked up the stairs to the boy's bedroom. He knocked and heard his friend's voice answer. Laxus entered and saw that the wizard hadn't moved from the position he had left him. Freed was still sitting on the mattress, staring at the window. For a moment his eyes rested on Laxus, but he still said nothing.
"I talked to Grandpa," Laxus said, closing the door behind him. Freed looked at him again in silence, perhaps waiting to hear the rest. At least, Laxus hoped so. Because he needed Freed to want him, that he didn't hate him. Even though he deserved Freed's hatred, he didn't want it.
But Freed didn't say anything, he didn't ask for anything. Maybe he wasn't interested. Maybe he just wanted him to go away. Maybe he was only there because he was too dutiful. Because he didn't want to back down from the promise he had made years ago. Maybe he would be glad to know that Laxus was going to leave.
Those thoughts broke something inside him. Laxus began to sob, putting his hands to his face and letting his true emotions come to the surface for the first time in years. Not the anger with which he had persisted in covering everything up. Not the violence he had used as a shield. Only heavy sobbing and tears.
He could take it all, but not Freed's hatred. He realized, he couldn't do it. He realized that he loved him. That he really did. That he wasn't mad at him because Freed doubted his strength, but that he did it because Laxus was terrified of his death. That he wasn't pissed off at the dark guild because they made him nervous, but because Freed was gone. That the pain he felt every time Freed walked out of his room was nothing more than pain not to be reciprocated. That sex with Freed was not just sex, but a lifeline. That the way he'd slammed into his body the night before was desperation, for not having seen him after three full months.
Laxus advanced towards Freed and when he caught up with him, he fell to his knees, continuing to sob without being able to restrain himself. He rested his forehead on Freed's knee and shivered at the contact, terrified that Freed might kick him out.
"I'm sorry," he said. His voice came out strangled and he feared Freed hadn't understood. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm so sorry, Freed, so much," he cried.
He deserved his hatred, he deserved it all. Instead, he felt Freed's fingers in his hair, gently massaging his head. Laxus continued to cry, not having the courage to look up to meet Freed's eyes, he didn't know what they would show.
Maybe hate, contempt or disappointment. Because Laxus had let him down.
He continued to sob without caring that anyone could hear him, lulled only by the caresses of Freed, who despite everything, was not pushing him away. That despite everything, was still taking care of him.
Long minutes passed before Laxus recovered. His eyes still swollen he looked up and was surprised to see that Freed's face was streaked with silent tears. He widened his eyes slightly. He had never seen the boy cry. And it was his fault. A squeeze in his heart hit him and Laxus reached out and ran a thumb over his cheek to wipe it away.
Freed looked down at him and smiled sadly at him.
"I'm sorry too," he said.
Laxus shook his head. "No, it's my fault."
"Not only," Freed said, then leaned over and ran his hands over Laxus' face, carefully wiping his cheeks. Laxus let him do it, wondering how long he'd craved those sweet cures from him. Once Laxus felt his face dry, Freed didn't part with him. He held his face in his hands, looking at him with a disarming sweetness that made Laxus feel fragile. He had long wanted Freed to look at him that way, but he didn't want it to happen that way.
"I've to get out of Fairy Tail," he revealed. Freed frowned slightly, then seemed to understand and his eyes clouded with a sadness that Laxus didn't understand. Which somehow made him feel good and bad at the same time. Freed still cared about him on some level, but Laxus remained his source of pain.
"I love you," Laxus whispered, certain that if he didn't say it now, he wouldn't have the courage to do it. He saw Freed's eyes widen slightly and his mouth open, but no sound came out. Laxus needed to say it, even if it was perhaps the worst time.
"It was never just sex." It was love. "I missed you terribly in the last three months" And I will miss you very much in the next months. "Freed... I love you, and I'm sorry to tell you now, and I'm sorry I made you..." his eyes filled with tears again. He felt pathetic, but he couldn't stop them. His cheeks got wet again and Laxus sobbed. "I made you fight against others, I'm sorry I dragged you into my plan, almost hit you. I... I don't know what was on my mind. I'm sorry Freed." He cried and just wanted to lower his head and hide from Freed's eyes. But Freed wouldn't let him, held his face up and walked over to him.
"I love you too, Laxus." The sentence came out sweet and with a surprisingly firm tone. Laxus blinked to shed more tears that prevented him from seeing clearly. But he had heard it. Freed had really said it.
The rune mage leaned over him, and Laxus lifted his chin and straightened his back. For the first time, they shared a sweet kiss that didn't taste like sex. That kiss smelled of tears, sadness and love. All those feelings were confusing Laxus, who could only reciprocate and hope it wasn't a dream.
But it wasn't a dream, because there was nothing perfect. If it had been a dream, he and Freed would have gone to sleep together and started dating. Maybe they'd try to make a date. It would have been awkward, but sweet. Maybe they'd share a few kisses, they'd hug each other without necessarily having to have sex, and maybe Laxus would finally feel good.
But that was the reality, and nothing like that would have happened. Laxus would leave and leave Freed in Magnolia. They wouldn't see each other for who knows how long, and then, if and when he returned, who knows if Freed would continue to love him.
They broke the kiss and for long seconds they looked into each other's eyes. Laxus felt his heart explode. Never before would he have wanted to stay in Fairy Tail as he did now. And right now he had to leave. He needed it, and he knew it. He had done enormous damage, he had fought against his guildmates, he had thought of killing them just to be able to reach his goal. He had never felt so disgusting.
"I have to go," Laxus said hoarsely.
"I know," Freed said. Laxus groaned faintly, almost fearing that Freed didn't really care. "I know," Freed repeated. "I don't want to let you go, but I know it's for the best. For you, and for us".
"For us?" Laxus asked faintly.
"We haven't had a really good relationship for two people who love each other, have we?" Freed asked. No, they hadn't had it at all. "I never should have left after those nights. I'm so sorry Laxus. Know that I didn't want to, that it has always been difficult for me to leave your bed".
That revelation gave him warmth at the height of his heart. Laxus stared at Freed silently, realizing for the first time that that was all he'd wanted to hear from the first time they had sex. Maybe he wasn't in love with Freed at the time, but he certainly cared more about him than he wanted to admit.
"And know that I'll wait for you. That my love for you will not diminish, even if I have never shown it to you".
You did it instead, Laxus thought. Freed had taken care of him, had followed him, had been by his side in the worst moments. Laxus was the one who had done nothing for Freed.
"But we both need it. We have both misbehaved with our guildmates, we have had misconceptions and it's time for us to take some time to improve. To think about our mistakes and become better people," Freed said. Laxus nodded, knowing that his friend was right. That didn't make him feel any better.
"I don't want it to… end," Laxus admitted. Their relationship, whatever relationship they had. Even if it wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted to have. Freed smiled lovingly.
"This isn't our end," he replied. "It's just the end of a bad relationship. We weren't ready, neither you nor me. And we certainly aren't now. But I'm sure we will be in a couple of months," he said with conviction. "And I'm willing to wait and start over, and do it right." Laxus felt better about that promise. "Are you willing to ...?".
"Yes," he replied immediately. Freed smiled slightly, and Laxus felt his heart fill with joy at the knowledge that he had snatched a smile from his friend. He stood up smiling, even though the sense of sadness still lingered inside him.
"I don't know when I'll be back," he admitted.
"It doesn't matter," Freed said as he stood up in front of him. "Take the time you need". Laxus nodded and ran his gaze to Freed's features, wanting to impress his friend's face on his head.
"When do you leave?" Freed asked.
"Tonight," Laxus decided. The more he put off, the worse it would be. Freed's gaze wavered for a moment.
"Don't you watch the parade?" he asked him.
"Better not," Laxus said. "I'm going to say bye to Evergreen and Bickslow too," he said. Freed nodded and followed him. By the time they reached Magnolia Park with their friends, both of them had already run out of tears.
He wasn't gone yet. He had exited Magnolia after seeing the Fantasia parade, but he hadn't taken many more steps. Laxus kept thinking about everything that had happened. He had never had such an intense day of emotions, but somehow, he wasn't feeling bad now. He had cried with Freed, then had cried when he saw the parade, and now he felt almost better. Maybe crying didn't hurt that much, maybe it was necessary to get rid of the pain.
He looked up at the star-filled sky and thought back to the conversation he had had with his grandfather. How Natsu had spoken to him without rancor. How Freed told he loved him. How Evergreen and Bickslow had cried when he left.
He would miss Fairy Tail. All Fairy Tail. Not just Freed. And not just Evergreen and Bickslow. Fairy Tail had been his home anyway.
Laxus looked at the nearby city and then decided to return. Just a moment, just for a last goodbye to the person to whom he owed so much.
With the speed of lightning he reached Freed's house, landing on his terrace. He wasn't surprised to see that the boy was still awake and reading. He passed the half-open window and the wizard turned to him.
"Hey, I just wanted to… say goodbye," Laxus said. Again. Freed motioned for him to join him on the bed. Laxus hesitated for a moment, but then he joined him and lay down under the sheets beside Freed.
"Are you staying here tonight?" Freed asked.
"No, I…".
"Stay," Freed said. Laxus softened his gaze and silently accepted.
They didn't have sex that night. They didn't even make love. They just slept, embraced and with their legs intertwined. Laxus was the first to fall asleep, his nose buried in Freed's hair, thinking that such a night wouldn't repeat itself for the next few months. He too was the first to wake up the next day, with Freed in his arms, breathing deeply asleep.
Laxus slipped silently out of bed, without waking him. He left him a light kiss on the forehead and knowing that he wouldn't be able to greet him a third time, he left the terrace and walked towards the Magnolia exit. He walked the streets in the first rays of the sun. He left the city and walked towards the path, leaving everything behind, but with a promise.
He would come back and become a better man.
Final notes: I started writing this fanfiction a few weeks ago, and a few days ago I finally finished it. It's my first time writing something NSFW and it's my first time writing something more distressing, so I don't know how it came out.
I'd really like to know what you think, even if you have criticisms of some scenes. Just let me know what you think, if something is OOC, or whatever.
Thanks to all of you who have read.
