Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series or any of it's characters.


Clary was running. She was running from the front door of her old house up to her room, as fast as she could, passing by the living room filled with her mother's antiques and lovely flower vases next to the leather couches that circled around the wooden coffee table that she had ran into a million times before when she was running. And she kept stumbling and falling and it seemed like her room was miles away.

Everything was so big around her and she was so small, she tried running up the stairs but it felt like climbing a mountain, using all her strength and her entire body to push herself up, one stair at a time as she heard his cruel voice taunt her "Clarissa, do not make me come get you".

She reached the top of the stairs, knowing he would be getting off the couch and coming after her about this moment and she scrambled to her room, but before she could close the door it was pushed back against her with great force that blew it wide open, hitting her forehead in the process and throwing her back to hit her head on the edge of her bed.

She looked up at the tall white hared man, his eyes were so black, he looked so angry.

He was always angry lately. Always at her. Nothing ever made him happy and he always had to make sure she knows it.

"I told you not to go to my study, Clarissa." His voice was cold it made her shiver.

"Daddy, I didn't mean to-" her voice almost broke off, the terror of what this man might do to her.

"Don't interrupt me when I am talking. I don't care what excuse you have for yourself" He yelled out making her flinch. Her eyes prickled with tears but she held them back, knowing that would make him angrier but she couldn't help it, she felt so small and helpless.

She lowered her head but realized what a big mistake that is when he huffed out, "Don't cry little girl, no one cares about you. You worthless child, I should have just killed you and your whore mother when I had the chance".

"Daddy I-"

"STOP TALKING. Do I have to teach you everything the hard way?" He screamed and it rang so loud in her ears that she had to shiver back.

"Daddy please, don't. I'll be good I promise" she begged as she tried to push herself further against the bed post, hoping it would swallow her and give her protection from the cruel man.

"Now I can't do that Clarissa, I didn't want to do this" He took a hold of her arm in such brute force, and picked her up, dragging her off. Her short feet couldn't catch up to him so she stumbled and her feet scratching the floor made them red and itchy, but that didn't stop him or slow him down he just tugged harder. "Move Clarissa or I will drag you by the hair".

He pushed her down the flights of stairs as he let go of her arm and landed a nice kick to her ribs so that she moved faster. A breath left her harshly as his foot connected with her stomach, the wind was knocked out of her and she fell down the flights of stairs, her face and head hitting on every step, her stomach was sick by the time she reached the last step and everything ached.

Her vision wasn't clear anymore, and it scared her more. Her head felt lighter and her stomach twisted into knots, she wanted to throw up but she couldn't, a lump in her throat stopped anything from coming out.

But he didn't care, he reached her side and dragged her again forcefully to his study, "This is what you wanted to see, Clarissa?"

"I'm sorry" She begged as her tears stained more, she tried to push back, but she wasn't strong enough.

"That's not good enough, Clarissa. I didn't want to do this, but you forced my hand, now I have to teach you a lesson." She heard the low bustling of metal and she knew then he took off his belt, he made a point of smacking it across the wooden desk.

Clary flinched at the snap sound the belt made as it connected with the desk and with a terrified thought that that would hit her back now, her body began to shake "Please don't".

"Sit down Clarissa and take it like a Morgenstern, damn it! Even if you don't even deserve the name you are still a Morgenstern and I will be damned to have a week pathetic little girl as a daughter of mine" He yelled, "Count!"

The first lash connected to her back and she screeched, her eyes straining harder, the leather of the belt stung but the metal on the edge of it was all pain, she wanted to curl up to herself but she couldn't "O- One" she croaked out.

The second came down on her back harsher and her back arched as she squeaked "Two".

This wasn't right, she knew it. This wasn't supposed to happen. No other girls in her class were beaten like this, they all talk about their fathers so proudly and with such love, Clarissa knew she would never feel that for her own. The man who was supposed to keep her safe was the person who kept hurting her.

By the tenth lash, she was crying so loud, "Do you hear your precious mother or bother coming to your rescue, my lovely Clarissa? No one cares about you. No one will. Don't you see? I am trying to help you, I am trying to show you what the real world is like, I only want you to see that this is your reality, no one will love you, no one will care for you. You can't count on anyone to come save you. I am trying to make you see that. Can't you see I am only doing what's best for you?"

By the eighteenth lash the metal on the belt broke in half but that didn't stop him, with the half broken pointy medal edge, he slammed it harsher, "Now you see what you did to my belt?"

Clarissa wanted to scream as she was sure, if her back hadn't been bleeding before, it was now, as scrapes of metal broke through her skin. She wanted to scream, but it was pointless, no one would help her, no one cares.

There was nothing her mother could do, she was as stuck here as she was. Her brother was the favorite but that didn't give him a pass, far from it. So she cried more as harsh lashes slammed across her back and she held back a cry for help.

She knew better, she was all alone.

By the 25th lash, he decided it was enough, he held her by the hair. She should have gotten up and walked out, but her legs failed her, so he dragged her out of the study by the strands of her hair, heat erupted from the carpet as her legs were dragged harshly on it, "I hope this teaches why you should listen to your father Clarissa. Now leave before you bloody my carpets".

She heard a door slam after his words, but she hadn't moved.

She heard Jonathan whispering to her, but she hadn't moved.

Jonathan tried to help her up, but not a single cell in her body had moved.

She couldn't hear what her brother said and she didn't know how she ended up in his room, on his bed, while he patched her back. She just felt numb in all of her body, her vision was blurry, her head dizzy and she could barely make out far distant shaped colors, when she tried to focus on something, the pain in her head pounded harder and she gave up on that.

"Clare I am so sorry" was the first thing her mind registered hearing after a while.

"Not.. your fault" Clary's voice was barely over a whisper and it scratched at the strings of her throat, making her wince as she looked up at Jonathan.

"I'm sorry that I can't stop it. But Clare, no matter what, we'll always have each other" he said, she reached her hand out to touch Jonathan as he muttered "Always" but his voice was far and distant this time.

She was shocked out when she heard his harsh intake of breath, his eyes widened, the sweater he had now had a deep red spot and his room had turned to the abandoned warehouse, dark at night.

He looked down in shock at the bullet wound in his chest then back at Clary with a sad smile. Clary still couldn't move but this time her body was frozen from fear and shock and not the pain.

"Jonathan" She screamed as loud as she could that her own ears stung at the hoarse sound.

"Jonathan" Clary gasped as she panicked trying to move her arms and legs but something was laying heavy on her, suffocating her, she struggled under it as she tried to take a breath, scratching at it and pushing it back, but it wouldn't budge, she felt confined and suffocated like something was holding their weight to her lungs when a voice cut through her panic.

"Clary, it was only a dream. Get up" The covers were pulled back from her and she saw her mother's worried face over hers, Clary took a few deep breaths, registering that she was in her new room, that all of that was distant memory. She was hot and sweaty and feeling overwhelmed and her mother understood right away, opening the window, letting in the dim light from the dawn and a breath of fresh air before slowly approaching Clary to hug her.

Clary embraced the hug as she buried her head in her mother's shoulder. It had been a dream, a memory. Her mother stroked her hair as she asked cautiously "Do you want to talk about it?"

Clary couldn't say the words, she couldn't even cry when all she wanted to do was cry to her mother, but the tears wouldn't fall and the words wouldn't leave her. So her mother just stroked her hair.

She had wished she could be as strong as her mother. She hadn't heard her mother scream from a nightmare, not even once in eight years. She wished she had her strength and her fierce. But she didn't.

It was a while before her mom hoped into bed with her, still holding on to her. Clary felt like she didn't deserve being held like this. She was 17 years old, it's been years since the incident, eight years since she had left her father, she shouldn't still have nightmares, she should be just over it by now.

"Clary, it's okay"

"It's not" Clary shook her head, as she leaned back in her bed.

"It is. Clary, no one expects you to be okay with it all of a sudden it's okay to hurt".

It wasn't. And she knew it. "We can run all we want, all across the world. It wouldn't make a difference, he's not out there in the world, mom. He's here" Clary pointed to her head. She felt like she could never out run him. He will always be there, wherever she goes.

"No Clary, he can only be there as long as you let him" Her mother kissed her forehead gently as she held her tighter, "How long?"

She didn't need to ask the full question, Clary knew what she was asking. How long have the nightmares been back?

"A week and a half, on and off" Clary answered truthfully.

"Clary someday, there will come a time when you won't even remember who your father was or what he looked like" her mother said.

"Can you tell me when? I'll mark the calendar" Clary joked.

Her mother chuckled softly, and with a hand under her chin, raised Clary's head to meet her eyes, "I'm here for you, Clary, no matter what, we'll always have each other. Okay?"

Clary smiled sadly, "Okay".

Her phone's alarm went off then and she shook herself up, "You could skip school today if you want?" her mother suggested.

Clary shook her head no. "No I am good, as long as you make me some coffee you know I love?"

"Always, honey" her mother said as she got up, heading to the kitchen to make breakfast when she stopped at the door and looked back at her daughter.

"Mom I'm fine" Clary said with a roll of her eyes and her mother nodded. Clary didn't know if her mother believed her or not but she proceeded to get ready for school. She's fine. She always is. She has to be.

While she was changing, she caught sight of her back in the mirror and stopped horrified, she angled herself for a better angle and looked at the wounds that would never heal, she could remember what caused each one vividly.

She turned around slowly, catching sight of the wounds on her stomach. She pulled a shirt on quickly, getting sick just looking at them and changing into her jeans, she put her wig on and climbed down the stairs, taking a cup of coffee from her mom eagerly.

The aroma of coffee would not erase all her issues but it would do a damn near well enough job of making it better.


"Listen here you piece of unforgiving relentless immature -" Clary struggled with the stupid locker again before Jace came to her help, "Morning, sunshine and what a naughty mouth this early in the morning". He opened her locker and looked at her with a sigh, "As much as I like being the knight in shining armor to your damsel in distress, you really need to learn to open your locker".

"It's not like I'm doing it on purpose" Clary snapped then sighed as she saw his dismayed expression, "Sorry, I'm just.."

"Bad day? Already? It's like 7:30" Jace said with a laugh as she closed her locker, he leaned an arm around her shoulders and she sighed.

"It's the default setting" Clary said with a roll of her eyes as they headed to class, "Why do you do that?"

"What?" He asked confused.

"Put your arm around me, you do it all the time" Clary said half curious half.. more curious but like a quarter annoyed.

Jace leaned closer to her and said, "Many girls would kill to have my arm around them".

His answer angered her, she shrugged his arm off and walked faster but he caught up to her with ease and a chuckle leaving him as he put his arm around her shoulders again, "I'm kidding, the real reason is.."

Clary stopped at the door to class and looked at him, he was staring at her with those golden eyes that made her swoon. That is until he opens his mouth, "You're so short, it makes a good arm rest".

Clary smacked him across the chest and pushed him off her with all her force and to her joy, he stumbled back barely one step. But he chuckled and she walked into class, quick on her feet and went to sit in the back where she usually does. It was no surprise when a few moments later the seat next to her creaked against the floor and Jace sat gracefully beside her.

She didn't know what answer she was expecting but honestly she expected a better answer.

"So are you going to tell me what has gotten you in such a mood?" Jace asked.

"No" Clary answered quickly as she leaned back, crossing her feet over the chair and taking out her notebook as she started sketching.

"Well then I will tell you why I am in such a great mood" Jace said. Clary rolled her eyes already knowing what he is doing, he is trying to make her laugh "So I woke up from this awesome dream.. you were in it actually-"

"Jace" Clary started to argue but he shushed her.

"Now the thing that was better about the dream is you didn't talk in this dream"

"Jace" She tried to tell him off again, "I don't want to hear about your wet dreams, I don't wanna go there".

Jace tsked as if disapproving, "Your mind is always so dirty Clary I wasn't going there".

Clary looked at him with disbelief, and he continued, "I came there".

Clary hid her face in her hands as she tried to hit her face with the back of the chair, "No, that was so gross".

"Well you're right no" Jace continued and Clary opened two fingers to sneak a look at Jace unsure as he went on, "So Alec, Izzy and I have this game chicken, goose, goose-"

"Isn't that duck duck goose?" Clary wondered.

"No! We do not discuss ducks, we don't mention them, we don't befriend them you can just lose the word from your dictionary" Jace said with such an assertive tone that Clary looked up shocked.

"What do you have against ducks?" Clary asked with scrunch of her nose.

"They are the harbingers of evil but that's a story for another time, anyway so basically what we do when we wake up and Robert and Maryse are gone is race everything so the two who wake up and wash first, essentially the geese, don't have to take Max to school or make him breakfast and the one left which would be the chicken is who has to do it. Everything is fair, nothing is off limits. Now since Izzy won yesterday, I had to make sure I would win today".

Clary wondered where this was going as she now had fully closed her notebook and was paying attention to his story, "So I tied a rope between her room's door knob and Alec's so basically none of them can open their doors now".

"That's horrible" Clary said but she felt the need to smile.

"That's not all, last night I recorded my voice catfishing Alec with a very detailed description to his room, with a voice modification device and a phone that's connected to my room calling Alec on a loop whenever he shuts off the phone call, and Alec spent all morning yelling at the phone through his window 'Who are you? Where are you? Stop calling me all I need is some peace of mind' " Jace went into better detail and Clary put a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh but he caught her.

"I see a smile" Jace said, quirking an eyebrow but Clary shook her head, refusing to show. Jace took a hold of her wrist and tried to loosen her grip without hurting but that didn't work. Jace let go with a sigh, "Fine, just know, you had a chance to do this the easy way".

Clary was anxious about what he said, not sure what he would do when his hands reached out quickly and tickled her sides, a gasp left her as her hands left her face and she tried to pry off his hands. "Stop!"

As soon as he heard her laugh he let go and she smacked his chest, "You idiot, everyone is staring" Clary said in a whispered tone. He had barely paid attention to the rest. "Let them".

"I wish I had siblings to torture" Clary said in a whispered tone, she hadn't meant for him to hear but he did.

"You don't have any siblings?" Jace asked.

Clary looked up at him unsure if to say or not, it hurt her to speak about him so much, she should have said the usual line No I am an only child. But Jace yesterday had shared so much with her, with so much honesty that it felt wrong to lie to him, she sucked in a breath and let out quickly, "I had a brother when I was younger".

"Had?" Jace asked, he knew where she was going with it but he didn't want to push her.

"He died when I was thirteen, he was a year older and he was a typical older brother, never wanted anyone to hurt me. Once in the sandbox some kid twice his size pushed me down to the sand, Jon- Jonathan tapped his shoulder and told him to turn around, he would never hit someone from the back if they couldn't see him, and kicked the kids right in his fat tummy and the kid went down" Clary hadn't realized she was smiling until she finished the story and she hadn't felt when his hand held onto hers but she squeezed it when she did.

"He sounds like someone I would have liked" Jace said.

"You would have, he is trouble just like you" Clary chuckled.

"You think I am trouble?" Jace asked with a grin.

"Yes, big trouble" Clary nodded smiling.

Jace took their adjoined hands up and between his thumb and his index held her chin up so she could look at him better, "You haven't even seen the half of it".

The sounds of heels clicking loudly broke them off as Isabelle stumped over to Jace and Clary, making them let go of each other's hands abruptly, casting each other side glances as Iz took her usual seat by Clary's right side. Jace could still see a hint of sadness in Clary's eyes and he wished he could do something about it but he didn't. "You are dead to me" Izzy said.

"I take it you got the rope out?" Jace asked with an obvious intent to annoy.

"If I was speaking to you I would tell you Alec's door's hinges are out and you need to fix them but since I am not talking to you, you will never know" Izzy said.

"Harsh Iz" Clary commented and Iz narrowed her eyes at her.

"Don't you take his side now" Iz warned and Clary held her hands up hurrying to explain, "Hey no, Iz I'm always on your side, I'd throw Jace under any bus if I have to. In fact, Jace who?"

"Et tu, Clary?" Jace asked.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Clary gave her best fake confused impression and Jace scowled.

Izzy patted her head, "That's right, just like that".

"I may be on your side but I will bite your hand off if you pat my head again" Clary warned Izzy and she took her hands away.

"So Iz, if you were speaking to me, how would you say it went with Max?" Jace asked.

Izzy thought it over for a moment, "Remember how much you cried in Lilo and Stitch 2?"

Clary's eyebrows rose and her eyes widened as she turned to look at Jace with an amused expression.

"I did not cry" Jace argued but his voice wavered a bit and he seemed to notice so he cleared his throat and repeated, "I did not cry".

"You were crying so bad all of us had to wait two weeks before you could watch any movie" Izzy argued back, she looked at Clary and explained "He had trust issues after that".

"The ship was wrecked, Lilo had to pull him up and put him in the machine and still he died, he didn't almost die he literally died, Jumba, basically his father had to pull the plug and Stitch came back to her, they are the best of friends, they are me and Alec, what did you expect of me? To not care? Am I made of stone? Also I was seven" Jace argued and Clary had to stop herself from laughing.

She patted his shoulder, "There, there. It's over now". She thought of a young Jace at seven, young and cute and his golden head running everywhere, getting into trouble, obviously.

He turned serious again as he turned to Izzy, "So that bad?"

"He would not stop crying, wouldn't let me take him. Dad is at home with him just as confused, I don't understand it" Izzy sighed.

"Maybe talk to his teachers about it?" Clary suggested.

"We tried but the teachers love Max, they don't know anything or anyone that would upset him" Izzy answered.

"Maybe it's just a phase, by Monday he'll probably be back to normal.. I hope" Jace said. Clary could see how much he cared about Max, he was worried about his little brother.

That was attractive on him. Clary couldn't help but think.


A/N: Hey guys if you liked something or you disliked something maybe review? Also Follow and Fav.