Monday, March 30, 2020
Five days.
That's how long Daniel had been staring at the same glyphs from the Asgard database. That's how long it had been since he had woken up to find Vala surrounded by boxes of toilet paper in his guest room. That's how long it had been since she opted to stay on the base during quarantine.
But why?
That was the mystery his brain puzzled over, not the Asgard text.
Had she been that deeply wounded by his implication that she was selfish and immature? He'd been angry, expecting an abduction or firefight. She should have known that.
Of course, he never would have yelled at Sha're that way, and she wouldn't have tolerated it if he had.
His gut clenched.
Now, why had his brain made that comparison? Sha're had been his wife. His soulmate. Vala was a friend. A colleague. Well, in a manner of speaking. Some days, it felt more like she was a gnat buzzing in his vision and distracting him from his work. Like today. Only she wasn't even physically present. She'd just invaded his mind.
What did he expect? They worked together. Even if she didn't seem to want something more casual than he was willing to put up with, how were they supposed to make it work? How were they supposed to continue working together if things came to the inevitable, messy end?
Daniel pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.
If only it had just been his work she was invading. He hadn't slept well in over five days, and he was starting to think he was going a little nuts.
Sam and Jack did it.
Daniel's head snapped up at the thought.
Before his brain could fully process what he was thinking, he dialed a Washington, DC number and put the phone to his ear.
The phone rang a few times before the line picked up. "O'Neill."
"Jack."
"Danny! How ya doin'?"
Daniel hesitated. "How did you do it?"
Silence greeted the archaeologist. "That's a strange response."
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Okay, Jack. Hi. I'm good. How are you?"
"I'm good. Sam got me a dog on Friday."
Daniel blinked. "I thought she was a cat person."
"Yes, but I'm a dog person. So, I figure we'll start here, and work our way up to being a cat and dog family as soon as she spends at least sixty percent of her year at the house."
Despite Daniel's heavy worries, he chuckled. "That makes sense."
"The only hiccup in our plan is that Aqua likes Sam better."
"Aqua?"
"The dog."
"Right."
There was a squeak, and Daniel imagined that Jack had shifted in his office chair, probably putting his feet on the desk while they talked. "So, how did I do what, Daniel? You'll have to be a little more specific."
"You and Sam. How did you work together all those years?"
"We still work together, Daniel."
Daniel scratched his forehead with his thumb. "Yeah, but I mean, how did you work together on SG-1 all those years?"
"That's easy. Nothing happened while we were on SG-1."
Daniel groaned. "Jack, be serious."
"I am being serious. What's this about, Daniel? You and Vala finally got something going?"
Daniel stiffened. "What makes you think it's Vala?"
Jack snorted, probably rolling his eyes. "I didn't exactly peg Mitchell or Teal'c as your type."
Daniel chuckled, feeling foolish. Simple logic. Anyone could have deduced it. "Yeah, I guess that's true."
"Besides, even back when I came for Marty's pitch, I could tell something was going on between you. I'm a little surprised it's taken you this long to do anything about it, though."
"Says the man who took eight years to ask his wife out."
"Hey, that was mutual, and the reason we were dating a whopping six weeks before we snuck off to that little island planet for reconnaissance and tied the knot."
Daniel blanched. He couldn't handle that kind of forward momentum. Not when he was still reeling with this apparent attraction.
A little more than attraction, don't you think?
"Is this about the toilet paper she left in your guest room? 'Cuz I'm here to tell you that in this current economy, that might be the closest thing to a dowry you're gonna get."
Daniel started, looking at the phone in surprise. "Since when do you use the word dowry?"
"Since when do you ask me for advice?"
"Fair enough." Daniel poured himself a cup of coffee even though it had gone cold some time in the last hour. "Did you ever wonder what would happen if everything ended badly between you and Sam?"
Jack sighed, and Daniel wondered if it was because Jack wasn't one to talk about his personal life or if it was because their circumstances had been so much more severe than his and Vala's. "One thing I learned from my time at the SGC was that you can live in fear, or you can take a leap of faith. I mean, look at how we got SG-1 formed. We could have buried the gate after Apophis came through and kidnapped that airman, but we didn't. And because we didn't, we ended up dismantling the goa'uld empire."
Daniel was quiet. "Not without some sacrifice."
"No, Daniel, not without some sacrifice, but I'd do it again." Jack let the words hang in the air between them for effect. "So, I suspect, would you."
Daniel sighed. He was right. Even after Sha're died, he'd kept going through the Gate. Leaps of faith were, in some ways, his specialty. So, why not here?
"How long was it after Sara and Charlie that you thought you could do it again?"
The silence stretched long enough that Daniel was sure Jack had hung up on him. Jack's voice was gravelly and heavy when he finally spoke again. "Some days, I have to remind myself I already have."
Daniel didn't have a particular destination in mind as he got into his car. Leap of faith. Remind myself I already have.
The thoughts swirled in his brain, and he hoped that getting out of the house and going for a drive or a hike or something might help him clear the cobwebs enough to make him more productive.
He tapped the steering wheel as he looked at the Bluetooth phone connector button. He could call her. See if she was really as okay as she'd tried to pretend earlier.
"Call Vala."
The phone rang and rang. He didn't know what was worse, the fact that he was locked in his house or his car without human connection or that she was refusing his calls.
Stop it.
There were a thousand reasons he should run the other direction from a woman like Vala. They were somehow simultaneously too alike and too dissimilar for them to have any hope of any real connection.
She'd been host to a goa'uld and lost everyone she'd ever loved. His wife had been taken by a goa'uld, and in trying to find her, he'd found a family he didn't know he needed.
She was the mother of the Orici. He'd delivered Amaunet's harsesis child.
Vala had been burned alive. He'd died from radiation poisoning.
She tried to hurt people before they hurt her. He connected with people so they wouldn't have to hurt him.
And yet, her flirty come-ons were so ridiculous and fabricated that he couldn't imagine her ever wanting something real.
So, why did he feel so guilty?
Without even thinking about it, he pulled into his normal parking space at Cheyenne Mountain. When had he decided to come here?
He stepped out of the car, surprised to see Vala's seated form looking out over the valley.
Had she always been this beautiful? Had he just been blind all these years?
He jogged across the entrance to the parking lot to join her on the hillside, grateful he wouldn't have to endure all the hassle of trying to get back in the base during this shutdown.
Her hands were flying the way they did when she was talking. She was laughing, her pigtails gleaming in the sunlight.
He accidentally stepped on a twig, and Vala turned. Her eyes widening in alarm and then softening in recognition.
"No, it's fine, Sam. It's only Daniel."
He held her gaze a moment longer as the voice on the phone spoke for another few seconds.
A twinkle of mischief sparkled in Vala's eyes, undoubtedly a reaction to something Sam said. "Why, yes, we are under a shelter-in-place order, and he is not considered essential on the base."
Daniel shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he shifted, uncomfortable.
"I'll tell him. I'll see you for girls' night tomorrow. Goodbye."
Vala turned away from Daniel as she set the phone on the ground beside her, her arms encircling her knees as she looked back at the valley. "Sam says hello."
Daniel about six feet away from her, one knee bent and the other straight out. "She didn't add something about sheltering in place?"
Vala shrugged. "Apparently, she doesn't think it'll do much good. Thinks you're too stubborn."
"Sam doesn't think I'm stubborn."
Vala turned a wicked grin to him. "Okay, you caught me. I added that last bit."
Daniel's palms began to sweat, and he wiped them on his pants. "You look good. Relaxed."
Vala eyed him with suspicion. "It's only been five days since we saw each other, Daniel. You act like it's been five years."
"Yeah, well, every day with you feels like—" He stopped himself. This was precisely the stuff which had gotten him into trouble five days ago. The knee-jerk repartee.
She arched an interested eyebrow in his direction. "Every day with me feels like what, Daniel?"
He pulled a tender blade of grass out of its hole and twisted it in his hands. "Nothing. Never mind."
"Are you okay?"
"Haven't been sleeping well."
"You should try meditating. Teal'c has a video series on the internet, and I've found it quite soothing."
He bobbed his head. He'd thought of that. "Yeah, meditating can help—hold on."
Daniel dropped the blade of grass, and looked at Vala with new focus. "Teal'c has a video series on the internet?"
She nodded. "Thirty-five subscribers last I checked."
"Does Landry know about this?"
"It was Landry's idea."
Apparently, he needed to get out of his lab more.
"You know, Daniel, I've been thinking."
Daniel brushed the grass off his hands and turned to Vala. "So have I."
"Oh. You go first."
He shook his head. "No. Ladies first. Go ahead."
She shrugged. "Okay. I was thinking that instead of just returning all that toilet paper I stockpiled, maybe we can donate it to a food pantry or a homeless shelter. You know, the people who might not be able to afford it."
He'd almost forgotten why they'd fought five days ago.
She tore at her cuticle. "What do you think, Daniel? Good?"
He nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah. Really good. Wish I'd thought of it."
"And I really will pay you back, Daniel. After the furlough is lifted."
He turned to face her, more openly this time. Some days, I have to remind myself I already have. "I'm not worried."
"What have you been thinking about?"
His heart stopped, the terror almost enough to stop him from speaking. What if it all ended again? What if everything he ever loved was doomed to slip out of his grasp?
Some days, I have to remind myself I already have.
He hadn't lost nearly as much as Jack had, and he'd been courageous enough to take a step forward. On the other hand, he wasn't a soldier. Not a fighter. He didn't know if he had that kind of strength inside him.
"You."
Her hands stilled. "Excuse me?"
He offered her a half-shrug. "The reason I haven't been able to sleep or concentrate is because I've been thinking about you. I'd even forgotten about the toilet paper, if I'm honest."
He could see from the skepticism in her eyes that she didn't believe him. Frankly, he didn't blame her. He'd said some awful things about her five days ago.
"I was angry when I saw you at my house. I said some things I didn't mean. I'm sorry."
"And I'm just supposed to forgive you and go on my merry way, then?"
He shook his head. "No."
Something flickered in her eye, and his heart soared. There it was. The tiniest hint that she hadn't given up on him. He could work with that.
"Daniel, you keep thinking the worst of me. What am I supposed to do with that?"
"I don't always think the worst of you, but I'll admit it. I let you down this time. You came to me, hoping I'd help you, and instead, I insulted you."
"So, where do we go from here?"
He jingled the keys in his hand. "I was thinking maybe we could have dinner."
"Restaurants are closed, Daniel, and we're not exactly in the same household."
"Asking you to stay with me was a little premature, I admit that. Just give me a couple of minutes on the restaurant thing?"
She took a long moment before she nodded.
It took almost a half hour, but Vala was still sitting on the hillside, looking over the valley when Daniel returned. He put the takeout container on the ground a few feet away before he sat down with his own dinner in his lap.
He smiled at her as he got out his utensils and settled in for what he hoped would be an interesting story to put in his memoirs. "So, tell me about your day."
Vala peeked into the takeout container before her smile broadened. "You remembered."
She'd ordered the burger topped with guacamole and muenster cheese one of the last few times SG-1 had gone for dinner. She hadn't said much as she ate it, revealing only as they got back to the SGC that it reminded her of something she'd eaten in one of the pubs she'd frequented in her trading before joining the SGC.
"You'd be surprised what I remember." He took a sip of the lemonade in the cup beside him. "Tell me about your day."
She blushed as she picked up one of her large french fries and dangled it from one of her slender fingers. "You don't want to hear about my day."
He grinned. "It's a date, Vala. Of course, I want to hear about your day."
Her bashful smile fell from her lips. "This is a date?"
He nodded. "If you want it to be."
She looked at her clothes. "I'm not dressed right for a date. My hair—I'm not even wearing any makeup."
"You look beautiful."
She swallowed as she looked at him. "Do you really think so?"
He nodded.
"I thought you didn't want us to do this."
He mindlessly took a bite of one of his own hand-cut fries. "There were a thousand reasons we shouldn't have opened the Gate, but we did, and that turned out okay."
That mistrust appeared in her eyes again.
"Maybe instead of listing all the reasons this won't work, I need to start trusting that it might."
A smile lifted the corners of her lips. "I like that."
Daniel lifted his chicken sandwich out of the box. "So, let's try this again. How was your day?"
