"By the Throne…" Julius moaned taking a bite out his burger, "this is most divine. Truly another example of the Human Race's superior culinary creations over that of all others."
"Its frakking awesome is what it is!" Nicholas groaned as he shoveled down spoonful's of mashed potatoes, "My belly is sooooo warm now, I could die right now and be happy."
Saladin didn't bother speaking as he enjoys a cold refreshing cup of water. It had been days since he had a drink of water, even then there was some dirt in it and there was always the possibility of it giving a poor bastard or two dysentery. The water here however tasted like it was blessed.
Edison was scanning his food and getting a reading on the nutritional qualities of the food.
Hansel nodded his head at the three guardsmen that seemed to be in an orgasmic state of gouging themselves on food, hell the food was good but he could at least have the decency to control himself from looking so deplorable, Lord Commissar Cestus would be most displeased in this lack of self-control.
Jaeger, though he was a genetically enhanced dog, showed immense restraint by staying by Hansel's side. Any lesser dog would have been running wild wanting to nibble and beg for food whilst trying its best to smell absolutely everybody in the whole damn world.
And Hansel was rewarding him for that.
In two hands Hansel carried two trays, one with his food of assorted food groups and a single chocolate bar with Nugent, in the other was a plate stacked with the one treat dogs could never ever resist.
Bacon. Lots and lots of bacon, so much in fact Jaeger was begging his master to just drop the plate and let him at the delicious morsels to sate his hunger.
"Nein." Hansel said sternly, making the poor Hund beg even more, "Bald, bald Jaeger."
Jaeger rubbed his head against Hansel's leg as his begging became even more desperate, luckily for the Hund they arrived at the table.
"Hier du warden." Hansel said as he set the plate on the floor not a moment too soon has Jaeger was starting to drool a small puddle on the floor.
Nicholas grimaced, "He's getting grease all over the place."
Hansel removed his mask and gave a glare at the Vostroyan, "He'll lick it up. Tsartrov."
Julius looked over and grinned, "Cutest bioweapon ever."
Saladin chuckled, "Wonder how many people thought that before it ate their faces off?"
Jaeger wagged his tail happily as he inhaled his food, Krieg rations for their animals had very little to desire when it came to taste, no one really cared for the taste palate of an animal as long as it was nutritious. That's why Jaeger loved sinking his teeth in the foes of the Golden Master the humans talk about, they always tasted so strange and sometimes really, really good.
Hansel sniffed Jaeger and grimaced slightly, "I will clean him off after he eats."
"Good, he smells terrible." Julius agreed as he opted to breathe through his mouth, at least fifty feet in all directions was cleared partly for the reason that Hansel was already a very intimidating person with his short time at being at Beacon and now he had three more very intimidating people, secondly Jaeger was a large and scary dog that had a bit of an odor to him.
"Hans, I got a question for you," Julius said with a very mischievous grin, "I want to confirm you were alone as a man, in a room full of girls."
"Yes… why do you ask?"
Saladin crossed his arms with a frown, "Lucky frakking prick."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Really?" Nicholas said with disbelief, "Room full of young and very beautiful women. For a week, that is unfair."
"I fail to see what you three mean."
Julius sighed, "Tell me you bedded at least one of them, please tell me that."
Hansel stared at Julius with a frown, "I have not."
"Really?!" Saladin squeaked with disbelief, "A room full of four women? And you did not have a single one of them?!"
"I have to say that is depressing." Nicholas said nodding his head, "That is just depressing."
Julius grinned as he narrowed his eyes, "Not even the red one that was eyeing you something special?"
Hansel outright sneered and ground his teeth, "Do not speak about her like she is some cheap fraulein."
Julius raised his hands defensively, "Hey man I mean nothing by it… but seriously?"
"If you must know-"
"I need to because this is really interesting."
"-I have lied with her on the floor, non-sexually this morning."
Nicholas giggled, "You're shrakking me right?"
"She was cold."
"And there was no other way you could've "warmed" her up?" Julius asked with a sly grin, receiving a spoonful of mashed potatoes to his face, "Yeah I had that coming."
"What can you say about the one in white? What is her name again?" Saladin asked leaning forward.
"The one in white is Weiss Schnee, apparently she is the heiress to a company that produces energy propellant here."
Saladin waved that information off, "Alright but what is she like? What is her favorite color, music, flower? That sort of thing."
Hansel raised a brow, "I don't know, I don't speak to her or for the most part anyone else. I've really only spoken to Ruby for the most part."
"Your girlfriend~" Julius teased.
"Yes actually."
The three guardsmen stopped fooling around and stared at Hansel seriously, "Wait really?"
"Yes." Hansel said with a shrug.
"Hansel, you do know what being a boyfriend means right?" Julius asked with a serious look.
"No, not really. Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to care for her or something?"
The three boys face palmed, Edison nodded his head chuckling, "As they said before, whipped. And you haven't even been married to her. That's what a husband does Hansel, a boyfriend is somewhat different."
Hansel starred at the Techpriest blankly, "Explain."
"Well a boyfriend is someone that's in a romantic or social relationship with a girl. In your case romantic. Meaning it is customary for you to do romantic gestures to earn favors from her."
"Like giving her chocolates or flowers for example Hans." Julius interjected.
"What the hell would you know about it anyway Ed?" Nicholas asked with crossed arms.
Edison shrugged his shoulders nervously, "Well before I was given my enhancements I was… a bit of a dog."
Nicholas laughed, "Groxshrakk. I cannot imagine your ass jumping out of girl's windows to escape their fathers on Mars."
"I've at least screwed before virgins."
Three of the guardsmen immediately glared at the Techpriest with fire.
"I'll have you know that I have not had that in a while, its gets lonely and tense when you're fighting Greenskins." Julius said pointing at Edison with a frown.
"I can't even remember some of their names, but you know I have been around the block a few times Ed!"
Saladin blushed crossing his arms, "There are not a lot of women in the Guard on Tallarn!"
Edison raised his metal hands, "Alright, alright! Cool off fleshbags."
Jaeger wagged his tail as he finished his meal… by eating the plate. His master was currently speaking with his fellow humans, Jaeger didn't understand the context of their conversation because no commands were issued, but it must be something important from their body language.
The poor Krieghund was still a little bit hungry, but his master was busy and it looked like he would be for a long time. Jaeger sniffed the air as a familiar sent passed by, he looked up and saw that it was the abhuman from earlier, though she was wearing something different now.
The mutant girl petted him very pleasantly, maybe she would be willing to give him a treat?
Velvet sat down at her table with a sigh, today's mission had been exhausting but also very enlightening and confusing. She had a multitude of butterflies in her stomach when she found out Hansel was supposed to join in on the mission to the forest, those butterflies multiplied upon learning about the mess of horrible things that could've came from those portals.
But then she smiled, the other Imperials were significantly nicer especially the yellow one that flirted with Coco and told his stories about fighting the Ork aliens, it was really surprising to her that someone like that could be a friend of Hansel. The red suited man was nice, though his breathe smelled like a tavern, but he was nice enough to offer her a drink.
She couldn't really form an opinion of the sandy looking soldier but he hadn't said or done anything mean either. Then there was that big smelly but cuddly dog that Hansel found, it at first looked like a Grimm to everyone until Hansel smacked him.
Velvet stiffened as something started smelling her, she looked down- er- over her shoulder and saw that it was the dog from earlier, Jaeger she believed his name was.
"H-hi." She said to the big dog, she calmed down a little bit more seeing Jaeger wagging his tail, "Remember me?"
His answer came in the form of him rubbing his head against her side, Velvet giggled scratching Jaeger behind his ears, "Want some food boy?"
Jaeger sat wagging his tail, panting lightly.
Velvet cut up a few pieces of meat from her plate and held the pieces out for Jaeger, the Krieghund smelled the pieces and used his tongue to lick up the pieces to eat.
Gently Velvet began to pet the dog's head as he swallowed his food, Jaeger moved his head against her hand to gain more friction whilst wagging his tail faster.
Delighted with the nice bunny girl's treatment Jaeger licked her hand a few times before he set his head on her lap so she could pet him some more.
Velvet's ears stood up as Jaeger made himself more comfortable, honestly she felt like she was spoiling the dog even more now but how could she say no to such a cute and cuddly face?
"Aww would you look at that, the freak made a friend."
Her back and ears stiffened. She knew and dreaded that voice every day for the past few months from a very mean and cruel first year student and his team.
"Maybe we should get some leashes and collars, chain the both of them outside where animals belong." Dove Bronzwing said sending shivers down Velvet's spine with the cruelty in his voice.
"Please jus-"
"Shut up freak." Cardin said with a sneer taking a step towards her.
Velvet curled up and tried to keep her ears close to her head, it really did hurt when Cardin pulled her ears roughly, so she made sure to prepare herself for the pain that is sure to follow.
But she didn't feel anything, instead she heard a very deep and very angry sounding growl.
Jaeger sensed the kind girl's distress and the hostility of the four human boys, the kind girl fed and pet him, the kind girl is Kameraden, the boys are enemies!
In an instant Jaeger's fur on his back stood up, his eyes turned blood red and his mouth started to froth with saliva. He bared his teeth at the boys as he stood defensively in front of Velvet.
Cardin and his team backed up slowly as the really, really big dog started to inch towards them looking very angry.
"C-call off your mutt!"
"Why should I?" Came a very cold monotone voice.
A chill went down Cardin's spine as he saw and recognized the owner of the voice, "Oh no."
Hansel stood with his arms crossed, without his mask everyone could easily see the very unimpressed frown on his scarred face, the iciness of his eyes seemed to freeze team CRDL solid, if one to make a guess Hansel was still ridged over what happened in the garden.
Julius along with the other Imperials stood beside Hansel cracking their knuckles and necks, in Edison's case he had his mechandrites poised.
"That isn't how you address a lady," Julius said firmly with a hint of venom, "especially our friend."
Hansel mentally winced at the idea of being friends with this abomination, but Ruby's orders were also clear to him.
Velvet stammered as sweat gathered on her forehead,"I-I'll just leav-"
"Nonono, you sit right there young lady. These boys are being very disrespectful, they will be leaving soon." Edison said setting his mechanical hand on Velvet's shoulder reassuringly whislt a buzzsaw on one of his mechanidrites started up.
Nicholas snorted sizing up the boys, "Some men you lot are, picking on a girl, I bet you boys don't even shave yet."
Cardin sneered at them but Jaeger's barking brought him back to reality, "You'll pay for this! This isn't over yet!"
Julius chuckled darkly, "Believe me, you don't want this to start."
Cardin stared at Velvet, "That dog and those freaks won't always be here to protect you."
"And Ruby won't always be there to keep me from drowning you." Hansel said balling his fists, making the gloves crack.
Cardin gulped as he remembered the iron vicelike grip Hansel had on him and the horrible snapping of both of his legs, after seeing Hansel's true face it was safe to say when he says something threatening, it's a promise.
Without another word team CRDL left before Jaeger could sink his teeth through their worthless hides. Hansel patted Jaeger's head as both of their eyes burned holes through team CRDL's heads, especially Cardin.
"Th-thanks guys. Nobody ever stands up for me like that." Velvet said squeezing Edison's mechanical hand with a smile.
Julius nodded with his very serious Commander frown still on his face, "After what your team did for us in the forest we're cool, doesn't your team know about this?"
"They do, and my boyfriend. They keep on asking if I need help, but I don't."
"Then you are lying to yourself." Hansel said bluntly glaring at Velvet, "If you're going to be a warrior that can't stand up for herself then you are useless to the people you are protecting."
Velvet flinched but slumped her shoulders, "I-I guess you're right."
The Imperials were about to reprimand Hansel but he wasn't finished, "Then stop being useless and strike back, this is a test from the God Emperor. If you can't stand up and fight for yourself, then you are not fit to fight for Humanity."
Julius nudged Hansel.
"And for the Faunus."
Velvet stared at Hansel for a few seconds before smiling, "That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"I have never spoken to you."
"Yeah but," Points to her ears with a shy smile, "you're not as silent as you think you are when you talk underneath your breathe."
Hansel mentally face palmed, of course she could hear him because those are not there for show they are extra sensory organs that allow for advanced hearing. Son of a Grox.
"Well I can assure you that Hansman isn't going to be saying or doing anything mean or plain rude anymore," Julius said after elbowing Hansel, "we just wanted to make sure you were alright. Hell, Jaeger was about to eat them."
Upon hearing his name Jaeger brushed his head against Velvet's hands, licking her palms. Velvet smiled scratching him behind the ears, "Hey guys, I know you three haven't been here long but in a while there's going to be an event called the Vytal Festival, and I was wondering if you guys would be interested in watching the Vale Defense Force's demonstration's?
"Will there be food?" Nicholas asked with all seriousness.
"Free food, yeah."
Edison face palmed, "Is food all you think about Nicholas?"
Nicholas laughed, "Food and booze, always a constant thought."
Julius rolled his eyes and nodded to Velvet, "Yes we would like to see it, sounds like fun."
Hansel weighed the idea, it would be a great way of sizing up the military forces of Remnant to see if they would be adequate in being made into a PDF army for Remnant or maybe even in the Guard, the Huntsmen would more than likely be used as special forces alongside the Astartes and Sororitas if they were lucky enough.
"It would be refreshing to see some uniformed people." Hansel said flatly.
"Good!" Velvet said scratching Jaeger especially hard behind his ears, making the large dog howl with satisfaction.
Julius grinned nodding his head, but also pinched the bridge of his nose, "Hansel for the love of the Emperor wash him."
Hansel snapped his fingers and started to walk away from the lunchroom, Jaeger immediately followed after his master even if it meant he had to cut his ear scratching time short, whatever his master wanted it must have been important!
Jaeger whined and growled as Hansel made it very clear on what he was doing, he had made a quick stop by the supply store in Beacon, a little shop that students would go to for restocking toiletry items and other means of comfortable living for two things.
Shampoo and conditioner.
If Hansel was going to have a Krieghund living on campus grounds he needed to make sure it was properly groomed and cared for to show off the superiority of the Krieghund breed in more ways than just its natural killing ability.
After asking Miss Greenfield if he could use a hose to wash off Jaeger, the older woman told him there was an area that most people do not go by in the gardens and that it would be private enough to use.
Another problem appeared in Hansel's mind, his uniform would get damp and to avoid the hassle of having to stand around for two hours waiting for it to dry in the Beacon laundry room he decided to just strip down and wear a pair of black exercise shorts for a mere thirty minutes instead.
Ruby zipped down the halls towards the lunchroom with unbearable excitement, she desperately wanted to tell Hansel about her plans to take him and the others out to Vale for a small excursion and if her plans were to go well they'd… slip away for a first date.
Now to an outside perspective this may seem very rushed, I mean after a few days of breaking the ice and some tears here and there until Hansel finally trusted her just this morning, but to Ruby it didn't matter because her heart was fluttering with excitement.
Like a bullet she sped past her team, "HiguysI'mgoingtothelunchroomtofindHanselandtheguystogotoValeontheweekendbye!"
Her friends and sister however had yet to stop spinning and barely caught a word of what she said.
"Wha?" Weiss asked nearly tripping over into Blake.
"Ruby come back!" Yang called with her hand against the wall, "We didn't hear what you said!"
In a flash Ruby barreled through the doors of the lunchroom darting her eyes left and right until she spotted the other four Imperials talking with Velvet.
She immediately appeared behind them, "HEY GUYS!"
Julius jumped a good foot in the air with a yelp, Nicholas accidently crashed into Edison and Saladin, bringing the three of them to the ground. Velvet however was the only one that seemed to be unsurprised about Ruby's sudden appearance.
"Oops, sorry." Ruby said meekly, trying to hold in a laugh.
Julius grabbed his chest heaving, "Throne damnit! Give a man a heart attack would ya?"
"Get the frakk off of me!" Saladin demanded whilst being used as a cushion by the Techpriest and Vostroyan.
"What is the meaning of your sudden appearance?" Edison groaned pushing Nicholas off.
"Oh, I just wanted to see Hansel and I wanted to ask you guys if you'd like to check Vale out on the weekend, which is like a two days from now."
The Imperials raised a brow and shrugged, "I guess we could… but your bossman's second in command wanted us to do a few medical tests, so it's up to him I guess."
"I'm sure he'll be fine with it, but I'll ask him about it anyways, where's Hansel?" Ruby asked looking around rapidly.
Nicholas jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, "Oh, he went outside to wash Jaeger, I don't know where though."
Ruby pulled her scroll out and searched for his beacon, "The gardens! See ya!"
Like a flash of lightening Ruby sped off, inadvertently knocking the guardsmen over again, earning growls of irritation and shaking fists. Velvet snickered helping Julius and Saladin back to their feet.
Ruby started to slow down as she looked through the gardens, she listened closely for the sound of running water and the sounds of Jaeger's struggle against being cleaned. The thought of the big dog struggling with Hansel made her giggle, it would be an interesting thing to watch.
She turned a corner around a hedge and stopped like she hit a brick wall. The idea of Hansel struggling with Jaeger was a very funny and cute idea at first, but this, this right here blew that thought in her head out of the water.
Jaeger wasn't struggling with Hansel, he actually seemed to enjoy getting washed especially when he was getting his pelt scratched as the soap was being scrubbed in roughly. Hansel himself however took far more importance in her mind at this current moment.
She inhaled sharply and covered her mouth with her hands as blood rushed to her face; very rarely has she seen Hansel show some skin, it was almost a chore to get him to take his mask off and he did that only when he ate, he also tried doing that in private. Right now she was seeing something that could be described as a miracle.
He had no coat, no gloves, boots, pants- well he has shorts on-, and no shirt. A grin crossed her face, this was a golden opportunity to get a good look at what's underneath that uniform and by Dust was she was not disappointed at all by what she was seeing.
Water from the hose Hansel was using on Jaeger splashed water on him a few times, her eyes followed the water beads that ran down his toned six pack and across old scars, her eyes bounced with every minor tension as his arm flexed controlling the spray of the hose.
Ruby bit her knuckle as her thoughts progressively turned more and more x-rated, imagining herself between that arm and bare chest, she desperately wanted to know how those muscles would feel with her hands on them, how warm they would be, how much tension she would be able to feel.
But her anxiety was preventing her from moving any closer or to form any other reasonable thoughts, so slowly she reached into one of her pockets and retrieved her Scroll and pressed the recording function.
Rare moments like these should be recorded… for… science… yeah, science.
Yang downed her third black coffee, Dust her head hurt, it hurt even worse when Ruby raced by in a flash and nearly knocked Yang and the others over, just what the hell was so damn important?
Her eyes dully followed the trail of rose petals, she made sure to distance herself from her other teammates, Weiss's voice was made a thousand times more annoying from her mini hangover and Blake was just giving her those damn disapproving looks.
How the hell was she supposed to know that the drink Nicholas had was so fucking strong?
Speaking of which, she had a bone to pick with the red coated man as she spied him in the lunch room, "Hey! Nicholas!"
The Vostroyan looked up with confusion, that quickly devolved into warranted fear, "Oh shrakk."
Yang grabbed him by his collar and hoisted him in the air, "What the hell was in that damn shot glass?! Some sort of sleep meds you used to cheat?"
"Vostroyan Amesac, strongest alcohol the Guard has! You really need to be an alcoholic to drink it without being Vostroyan!" He chocked as his legs dangled and his hands struggled against the very strong grip the blonde had on him.
Yang's glare lessened as she set him back down to the ground, "I want a rematch."
Nicholas's eyes widened, "Are you certain you would want that?"
"I'm even going to do a little wager, if I win you will acknowledged that I beat you in a drinking game." Yang said with a competitive grin.
"And if I win?"
"If you win, I'll give you a kiss on the cheek." That seemed to have Nicholas's attention.
"Lips."
Yang frowned narrowing her eyes, "Pushing your luck there Nicky."
"Afraid your light weight body will fail you again?" He said with challenging Yang a smirk.
"Hmmm," The blonde contemplated the challenge and held her hand out, "deal."
As Nicholas shook Yang's hand he immediately found out how strong the blonde girl's grip was, as she nearly crushed his bones into powder.
"Why'd Ruby come through here?" Yang asked as she relished Nicholas's wincing and overall pain as he struggled to get out of her grip.
"She went looking for her boyfriend." Julius said with a shrakk eating grin, "She sped out of here faster than a Cruiser going light speed looking for Hans."
Yang's eye twitched, "Ugh, her and that boy. Dad and Uncle Qrow are going to have a heart attack when they see that picture."
Julius raised a brow and had a sinister smile, "Picture? What picture?"
Yang pulled up a very compromising picture she and taken earlier in the day and showed it to both the new Imperial team, Weiss and Velvet.
Blake covered her face, she knew Yang was going to do this she just knew the blonde brawler would embarrass Ruby eventually with her little piece of blackmail.
She knew however Hansel may not care… or maybe he would.
Weiss put her hand over her mouth blushing furiously while trying to keep a straight face, she knew Ruby was fawning over Hansel but this was ridiculously adorable.
Velvet found the picture to be ridiculously funny, if anything two polar opposites like Hansel and Ruby coming together showed her that love can bloom even for someone like Hansel.
The Imperials were having trouble catching their breathes, this had to some sort of elaborate joke! It just was not likely to them that a Korpsman would ever find love in his life, even if he did the fact it was someone so adorably innocent made it all the more ironic.
"He will never live this down!" Julius cried holding his gut, "I couldn't believe it before but now I can't deign it, Hans got himself a little girlfriend!"
Yang nodded with a bit of a frown, "He better keep his hands to himself though, I'll beat him into the ground if he hurts her."
"Blondie," Julius said finally controlling himself, "let me school you something on Kriegsmen. They are fanatically loyal soldiers, and if they do somehow get in a relationship like Hans they will be extremely loyal to the person they are with."
Yang crossed her arms but listened, "Go on."
"The thing is with Kriegsmen is that the concept of being a boyfriend is lost on them, so they will do whatever they can to show their affections, luckily we gave Hans enough of an idea on what he should do as her boyfriend; like treat her nice, do some romantic gestures, bring her food and all that good stuff."
Yang continued to stare at Julius with an unimpressed look.
Julius sighed, "In other words he will rather die than to let something bad happen to Ruby. He'd even jump on a grenade for her."
"Alright, but I'm still keeping my eye on him."
"He's already got a girl though." Julius replied sarcastically.
Julius narrowly avoided getting hit in the face and rolled off the table ready to bolt, luckily Yang was still feeling the effects of Vostroyan Amesac and stumbled into the table.
"Bastard!" She growled.
Julius stuck his tongue out at her, "Hey, your sister has the hots for my best friend."
Before Yang could exact her revenge on the yellow guardsman Blake grabbed her arm, "Yang stop it, let's just go find Ruby."
The blonde brawler relented and huffed, "Yeah lets go get her."
As the rest of WBY left the lunchroom the Techpriest stared of the corner of his eye at Blake, since their first encounter with the humans and abhumans of this world he had been making sure to scan everyone to determine how human they truly are and if they were beyond the regulation of mutation.
That girl was an abhuman, but he wasn't sure if everyone else knew or if they thought those cat ears were just a bow decoration, if nobody knew then he wanted to know why a mutant was hiding herself as a human even when her kind was allowed to roam amongst the human citizens.
If there was one thing that Edison hated, it was liars, liars were usually spies and heretics. For Blake's sake she better have a good explanation, otherwise she would be a pile of ashes if Edison wasn't satisfied.
Ruby's head felt like it was going to explode with all of her perverted thoughts, her hands were so sweaty she had to switch hands after wiping her palms on her dress skirt. Her eyes were glued to the milky white muscular frame Hansel had, tracing every scar, every inch of defined muscle.
Eventually her eyes were drifted further down, a little bit south but she couldn't really see anything because Jaeger was in the way.
'Damnit,' Ruby cursed inwardly as a small pout formed over her face. Boy was this frustratingly unfair, all she was doing was looking is all, why must fate be so cruel?
In the Warp…
The Gods were on the edges of their seats, this was a moment they were waiting for the whole season.
"C'mon!" Slaanesh cried, "pan the camera to the left! Left damnit!"
The Emperor clenched his fists, "Just kiss damnit!"
Even Khorne was getting annoyed, "Will you just go over and kiss him!"
Nurgle ate some chocolate moons as his eyes were glued to the screen, "I'm shipping this so hard right now! Kiss him for the love of the Warp!"
On Remnant…
Ruby's fingers drifted near her lips as she fanaticized about what her first kiss would be like. What will she feel? Would it be soft or hard? Will it send chills through her back or warm her insides?
Would any tongue be involved?
She let out a small irritated groan, she just wanted to kiss him, to be close to him, but her damn nerves were getting to her!
"Ruby Rose!" An all too familiar voice whispered yelled at her.
Ruby fumbled with her scroll I the air for a few seconds before catching it and shutting it down, "Yang!"
Yang stood with her arms crossed, taking up a disappointed frown on her face, "What do we have here? Just what do you think you were doing you little pervert?"
"Pervert! I am not!" Ruby defended with a very flustered face.
Weiss and Blake blushed as they tried looking away from Hansel, but it was just so weird to see him with so little clothes on, it was a nightmare to try and get him to remove the damn mask but here he was nearly naked. And they could not blame Ruby for wanting to peak.
'Wonder if I could find Saladin like this?' Weiss thought secretly.
Yang rolled her eyes, "Oh really? Then why were you videotaping lover boy over there while he's naked?"
"He's not naked! He's wearing shorts! And… its-uh- for science! Yeah… science…" Ruby defended very weakly, twiddling her thumbs nervously.
"I don't know whether to be proud or mortified Sis," Yang said pinching her brow, "oh Dust you're growing up so fast! What happened to the adorable little socially awkward girl I used to know!?"
"Well… I'm still that Yang," Ruby licked her lips as she stammered, "I-I want to kiss Hansel but I don't know how to do it!"
The three girls deadpanned at their small leader's admitted problem, they looked at each other then back at Ruby before face palming simultaneously.
Yang sighed as she took on a more sisterly role, "Alright Ruby, as your sister I guess I should tell you how to properly kiss a boy so you won't go feeling like a goof."
Ruby smiled brightly as she concentrated on what Yang had to say.
"Just go up to him and kiss him on the cheek."
Ruby could have sworn a glass bottle somewhere shattered, just like her expectations for some sagely sisterly advice, "You're joking right?"
Yang grabbed Ruby by her shoulders and started to push her forward, "Nope, you're going to kiss him on the cheek right now, no if ands or buts about it!"
Hansel had just turned the hose off, Jaeger was now drenched in water, all of the filth he had on him was now dripping into a drain in the garden.
Jaeger was panting with another stupid doggish grin on his face, he knew he was being spoiled by everyone with the constant attention and all of the ear scratches from everyone, and now master will have to use the towel to further spoil Jaeger with his full attention, he was really looking forward to getting his belly and back rubbed.
"Yang he's busy! Stop pushing me!"
Hansel snapped his head towards Ruby's protests, for some reason that blonde brute of a sister was happily pushing his Rosenrot towards him… by the Throne he was indecent!
On the inside Hansel was slapping himself for not finding something more appropriate to wear, he was practically naked with what he was wearing.
"Hey big guy!" Yang said with a wide grin, "I caught this little pervert peaking on you through the bushes, and I thought that maybe she needed more encouragement to talk to her boyfriend."
Suddenly the blonde brawler pushed her little sister forward, slamming Ruby right into Hansel.
Several bells rang in Ruby's head as she stood still, her face pressed against Hansel's chest, close enough for her to hear his steady heart as it beats faster in his chest. Her hands were currently cuffed around his biceps, unconsciously she squeezed the muscles with her smaller hands.
Hansel's eyes were wide open now, he had been close to Ruby before but they were always clothed, he now suddenly felt very uncomfortable with the situation. Yet he was also very excited that Ruby was in his arms again.
"…" Both were however too shocked to say or do anything.
"Well I'll let you two love birds get to it then, but no funny business! I mean it Hansel." Yang said as she glared daggers into the half-naked boy holding her sister… how the fuck was this a good idea in the first place?
In the Warp…
Slaanesh snickered to itself, it was easy to fool with mortals, besides, the plot needed to be quickened.
On Remnant…
"He-hey Hans…" Ruby stammered nervously as her eyes grew bigger than saucers, "ho-how's it going?"
Hansel said nothing as he stared down at Ruby.
She stared back up at his masked face with pent up nervous frustration as she thought, 'Now or nothing.'
After a loud gulp Ruby raised her hands to Hansel's mask and began to pull it off of his face very slowly as she did not want to accidently hurt him by pulling it off too fast or unceremoniously.
Hansel stared ahead with a blank but still confused look on his face, Ruby had just removed his mask without any permission at all, a very brave and yet stupid move unless the Kriegsman was attached to the person removing his mask.
Ruby gently removed the tactical yet grim face equipment and let it dangle off of Hansel's side lazily twisting and turning. She locked eyes with the Krieg soldier and for the fraction of a second Ruby had enough will to do what she wanted to do.
As she leaned up on her toes to kiss Hansel on the cheek, Jaeger had decided to move and stumbled Hansel just enough for Ruby's aim to go off.
And slam right into his lips.
In the Warp…
The Gods themselves collectively gasped, taking a sharp intake of air before they jumped out of their seats cheering in triumph as their favorite shipping came to a pinnacle moment in its progress.
On Remnant…
Ruby's head exploded with a number of neural signals that fired through her head at that moment, her lips felt like they were on fire, tingling with a static sensation that buzzed all through her face making the hairs on the back of her neck stand in a frenzy.
Slowly Ruby's eye lids flickered closed, satisfied with the shock that Hansel's eyes held she began to smile within her kiss.
Hansel's eyes were wider than they had ever been before in his life, no amount of training could have prepared him for a situation such as this, the gesture he recognized as something called a 'kiss', personally he had never seen such an act only read about it in the Guardsmen's Ambition book and even then the description it provided wasn't satisfactory.
He's never felt this good in his life.
Yang's jaw nearly hit the floor, this was a bad idea a very badbadbadbadbadbadbad idea!
Weiss and Blake both had deadpanned expressions, they did not expect Ruby actually go through with kissing Hansel on the cheek, but on the lips? Totally unexpected!
After a few seconds the two separated, lightly panting as they remembered how to breathe after their short but sweet make out session.
For a few moments Ruby left the world entirely, all she saw was Hansel's face with rose petals falling from a tree, she felt weightless almost like she was fall- OH DUST!
Ruby closed her eyes expecting to hit the wet hard pavement but instead she found herself wrapped around one mechanical and one beefy arm, her eyes met the cold yet oddly welcoming gray void.
Hansel gently and steadily stood Ruby back up, keeping his right arm around her waist as her legs kept on trembling, tentatively his cybernetic fingers traced his lips as he still felt the oddly pleasing sensation on his lower lip.
Ruby grinned madly jumping in the air for a second before wrapping her skinny arms around Hansel's broad shoulders, "I love you!"
The whole universe seemed to halt at the moment, the Gods in the Warp were losing their shit as their favorite pairing came to fruition.
Yang's whole world seemed to snap, her little sister just said the three words she always feared she would say to a boy.
Hansel stared down at the small girl and spoke five words he never thought would ever leave his lips, "Ich leben diche, mein Rosenrot."
Ruby's smile seemed to grow bigger, "I don't know what that means but I think I kinda do!"
"I love you my rose so red."
"Don't kill the mood Hansel!" Ruby said lunging up to kiss him again, and again, and again, and again.
Yang's eye twitched, one kiss was enough for her!
"Wowowowowow! Stop right there you too!" She yelled prying Ruby off of Hansel.
"Yang! Leave me and my boyfriend alone!" Ruby growled trying to get around her older sister's hand.
"I'm just trying to keep you two for screwing out in the garden okay?"
Immediately Ruby stopped struggling and instead blushed very violently, Hansel himself had a light tinge of red on his pale face, procreation was a touchy subject for a conservative people like the Kriegsmen, even if it was a very important one for them too.
"How about you go get some clothes on," Yang quipped to Hansel, "and you learn how to be less of a horny little school girl!"
Ruby almost hissed at Yang… but she was right, that first kiss certainly did awaken something she had been repressing for quite some time, before Hansel she tried not to get interested in boys as they would distract her from her role as a huntress.
But something about having a living weapon for a boyfriend was extremely hot.
"Okay…" Ruby said sagging her shoulders a bit, but in a flash she went around Yang's hand and planted another firm kiss on Hansel's lips, "bye!"
"Damnit Ruby Rose!" Yang yelled chasing after her sister with the rest of the team following.
After the young women left the gardens Hansel sat down on a bench and resituated his gas mask, he looked over to Jaeger as the Krieghund wagged his tail and panted enthusiastically.
"Good boy." Hansel said patting Jaeger on the head, today turned out to be a very good one.
But how long will these good days will last? How long before the world of bloody evolution meets the universe of never ending war full on?
"Enjoy your days as they are," A ghastly figure wearing bone armor as if it were carapace flak armor said as it stood outside of the Dust barrier atop a tree, a skull face plate outlining its humanoid features as its bright red eyes observed the small interaction between the Imperial and Remnantian, "for they will be the last happy things you will know. A pity that something so beautiful as a rose, must wilt and die."
The humanoid creature cracked its neck as its body began to undergo a physical change, his arms forming into wings, legs into talons, body to a more avian structure, and finally his head into that of a Nevermore's.
"We shall deny Nurgle their flesh to fester and rot. We shall deny Khorne their blood and skulls. We shall deny Tzeentch their destines and desires. We shall deny Slaanesh their pleasure and pain. And we shall deny them them their happiness, their love, their hope and their peace! The Sons of Disorder shall bring about a new age of darkness!" The being chanted as it flew away into the thickness of the forest.
You go girl! Ruby finally get's her kiss! The ship as sails on open seas! But what storms could possibly come to try and sink the U.S.S Skulls and Roses? Who are the Sons of Disorder and why do they hate this shipping? I'll tell you, they're my creation, and they will bring horrible pain to our cast soon enough.
Now I know it took awhile for me to upload this, hell some of you thought I dropped this wonderful thing for some reason, but I think it is fair to let all of you know that another one might not appear for a month, maybe two thanks to my new work out schedule and the studying I need to do for the Army. Now calm your tits guys I might be able to slip away for another chapter but I leave no promise. I will however have to update the Walking Death Korps because I promised someone I would and well I sort of want to anyways, it was my first but shitty story after all and I want to make it non-shitty now.
So I leave you with this chapter and chibisode as I promised earlier, have yourselves a blast. I do this because it means something to me that you guys enjoy my writing, so enjoy.
The title "Chibi Korps of RWBY" appears suddenly, the main cast appear on screen. Saladin appears next to Weiss waiving his Khalig sword, Nicholas appears in a headlock via Yang. Julius is seen waiving an Imperial flag on top of the Rose emblem, while Hansel is seen carrying Ruby bridal style as she waves.
Scene 1.
Chibi's Khan, Montresor, and several Bloodpact cultists stealthily scouted around the Emerald forest looking for an artifact buried somewhere in the area when all of the sudden a flaming object came down from the sky, it crashed landed right into a small pond, inadvertently vaporizing a family of ducks that were in the water.
The water was completely vaporized as two cultists slid down the dry soil with their axes drawn, they slowly crept up to what looked like a drop pod. One of them tapped the pod, inadvertently opening it up.
"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
In a flash a clawed hand slashed one of the cultists into fourths and tear out the intestines of the second and proceeded to strangle the cultist until his eyes popped out with his own guts.
The Chibi Eversor Assassin jumped out on top of the pod pulling the intestines along with him, he tied them into a lasso and threw it at a stunned cultist.
"Oh fuck this!" Montresor yelled running in the opposite direction.
Khan stood with his knees shaking, "Uhh Blood for t-" The Chibi Eversor pulled the cultist with the intestines around his throat down the hole, where he was violently disemboweled- "yeah I'm out! Charge the other way!"
The Cultists screamed in terror as the Eversor started to chase them through the forest.
Scene 2.
Chibi Hansel sat at his work desk sketching away at the schematics of Death korps uniform, he was so engrossed in his work he didn't notice Chibi Ruby enter his room.
"High Hans!" She waved with a grin.
Chibi Hansel hadn't noticed her voice as he also had a pair of earphones in his ears.
"Hans?" Chibi Ruby asked with a frown, "Are you ignoring me?!"
Chibi Hansel continued to draw, totally unaware of Chibi Ruby's yelling.
"Fine! If that's the way you want it then no more kisses!" She puffed crossing her arms and turning her back on him, only to peek around to see he hadn't reacted, "Alright, no more cuddling for the next month!:
Chibi Hansel sharpened his pencil and then proceeded to work again.
Chibi Ruby's head started to steam like a train, "You made me do this!"
In a flash she jumped into the air and body slammed onto the table making Hansel fall back in his chair. Ruby started flopping like a fish shouting, "YOU MADE ME DO THIS!"
Scene 3.
In Junior's Bar Chibi Nicholas and Yang sat adjacent from each other, two shots lied face down and the two brawlers had their right arms poised ready for an arm wrestling completion for the ages.
"If I win, you will massage my shoulders for a week." Yang said with a cocky grin.
"If I win, you shall kiss me every time we meet each other in class." Nicholas said cracking his knuckles one at a time with his thumb.
Both competitors squeezed each others hands tight, Melanie Malachite stood with her hand raised, "GO!"
With equal intensity the two brawlers struggled against each other, both grunting as the other refused to budge.
Yang's hair burned a bright yellow, her eyes turned bright red as her bicep flexed with all her strength.
Nicholas's mustache started to glow as well, it curled into a neat handle bar as he grit his teeth together staring his opponent in the eyes.
Eventually the blonde's arm started to give way to the Vostroyan's grip, she started to growl in rage-
Before a light bulb flickered about her head.
She grinned at Nicholas with a predatory grin, making the Vostroyan frown in confusion. With her left hand Yang grabbed the edge of her shirt and slowly lowered it, making Nicholas inadvertently look down, losing focus for a mere second, giving Yang the opportunity she needed to slam him on the ground.
Chibi Nicholas twitched several times, "C-c-heap move..."
"Looks like its shoulder rubs for me!" Yang said pumping her fist in the air.
Chibi Nicholas sighed, "Not really a loss on my part."
The Malachite twins helped Chibi Nicholas back to his feet, both girls giving him a peck on his cheeks. Chibi Yang frowned and grabbed Chibi Nicholas by the wrist and dragged him out of the bar.
"Kissing him, who do they think they are!"
Chibi Nicholas chuckled, winking at the camera.
Scene 4.
Chibi Ruby was outside Beacon, frolicking in the Emerald Forest, "Hansel and me sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G all day long~"
When all of the sudden the Chibi Eversor Assassin came down from a tree and roared its terrible war cry at her, "WWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!"
Chibi Ruby stood there with a startled gasp for a second before breaking out in a scream of her own, "SSSSSOOOOO CUUUUTTEEE!"
The Eversor Assassin tilted its head for a second, "Wrrrryyy?"
Without hesitation Chibi Ruby wrapped her arms around its neck and squealed, "You're so cute! Look at all of those weapons on you Mister Skull Man!"
Chibi Hansel stood with his arms crossed, his brow twitched as he glared at the Eversor, "Ruby."
"Hansel! Look at this cute animal that I found!"
"That's an Eversor Assassin, he's a man!"
Chibi Ruby looked the assassin up and down, "Oh, well I'm keeping him still."
Scene 5.
Chibi Blake sat alone reading her favorite por- romantic book, Ninjas of Love.
*We all know its porn sweetheart, we don't judge.*
She looked up from her book to see Chibi Hansel standing in front of her with a large box, the two silently stared at each other for a moment before Hansel coughed.
"Ruby wanted me to apologize for being so rude to you and your kind- race. So I got you this large box."
Chibi Blake closed her book and stared at Hansel with a frown, "You do know how racist that is Hansel? Just because I'm a cat Faunus."
A tumbleweed rolled by as Chibi Hansel continued to stare, "Do you want the damn box or not?"
Chibi Blake sighed as she jumped into the box playing around like a cat, she however didn't realize in time that Hansel closed the lid of the box and sealed it shut with duct tape.
He lifted the box over his head and started to walk over to a mail truck destined for Atlas, however Chibi Ruby was standing there tapping her foot on the ground, "Let her out Hans."
"Fine." Hansel said dropping the box, he used his bayonet to cut the box open for a very angry Blake to jump out of it onto a lamp post.
"YOU FIEND!" She shouted pointing at Hansel before jumping away.
Chibi Hansel promptly got a slap over the head for his jerkiness.
Scene 6
A group of White Fang grunts were sitting around a small outpost minding their own business, one of them even took up a Rubix cube and tried to solve it.
They were totally unaware of the Greenskin Chibis pointing rockets at them.
Chibi Blitz Fraggskull stood dramatically pointing his finger at the Faunas targets, "FOR TEH DAKKA! WAAGH!"
The White Fang looked up just in time to see there death's flying towards them, as several Nob Orks riding the rockets like cowboys came crashing down on them.
Blitz Fraggskull and the rest of his band of merry murders rode in on some sort of fuckup mix between a Dust car and train car with axes raised and Shootas firing blindly.
White Fang grunts exploded left and right into visceral blobs of red goo as the Green Tide swept through their compound without mercy.
It was a moment to be remembered for the ages.
Scene 7.
Sly Marbo sat calmly on a foldable lawn chair sipping a cup of tea slowly, he sighed in contempt as he closed his eyes in the mid Summer afternoon.
His alarm clock however started blaring, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
He took a deep breathe standing up and stretched several times before exhaling, he inhaled for a third time as he launched himself into the air shouting, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Undisclosed Chaos base...
The villainous four were all in various stages of boredom as another tedious call was made into the Warp.
"Damnit Numbers! Just get me the extra troops now!"
"Sorry, but the number you have reached is out of service, quit being a massive dickhead if you want to try again!"
"Fucking forget it!" Chibi Montresor shouted slamming the phone on the table.
He had just sat down before the famous warcry they feared rang through the halls along with the screams of random cultists.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
"DARK GODS PLEASE NO!" A squishing sound was heard.
"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
"NONONONON-" A voice shouted as the sound of flesh being ground against metal replaced the feeble scream.
Chibi Montresor hung his head sighing, "Not aga-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" With a one kick Sly Marbo kicked the Tzentchian cultist into Khan, sending both twenty five feet deep into a wall.
Chibi Caligularii and Bubonicos tried to run for the exit but were violently shoulder checked into a Chimera tank that fell into a pool of water.
"What the-" A Chibi Setesh uttered before getting upper cutted through the mountain into the Stratosphere.
With his work done Sly Marbo pointed his fist to the new opening in the roof of the cave and shouted his war cry as he flew away, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
