Disclaimer: I don't own a thing (duh.)

Pretty Close

Fine, yes, inter-angel affairs are angels' business, and Dean shouldn't care about them. Not unless the winged dicks actively try to make it his business, which they have done way too often if you ask him. So long as they can manage something (mainly) on their own, cheers to them. He certainly doesn't expect to get a vote. But part of him is disappointed that Metatron, the fucking bastard, didn't get offed. Jail? That's basically a slap on the wrist.

And no, Dean isn't resentful about having been murdered by the (at the time) overpowered Muppet. Not even about the consequences of it (that's squarely on himself, and a bit on Crowley). The whole mess before that? Of course it's Metatron's fault, but it's also theirs. Castiel's, for listening to him and allowing the chaos to start – though god knows the angel has paid for it, perhaps more than he ought to, even, and partly because of Dean's. Gadreel's too, of course, but – if his angel didn't get himself stripped of his grace at exactly the wrong moment, he wouldn't have had to trust the first winged rando available.

Dean's, Dean's, Dean's for – Kevin and Sam's puppeteering and upset and not being able to stop things before they went too far. So many deaths caused by supernatural bastards. On Earth. They're supposed to be his to handle. Especially when it's his fault. If he'd paid more attention to Cas. Just listened. But Sam was literally trying to kill himself, the idiot, and when that happens (which is too fucking often) Dean gets tunnel vision. He's not going to fail again at that. He's not. It's happened way too many times already.

Anyway, what he's getting at is – semi-apocalyptic mess? It's on them, more than usual. The reason he resents Metatron, bitterly, unreasonably, and so stupidly he won't ever be able to confess it to another soul, because he'd be laughed at for decades and deserve it too, is...Probably what Metatron considers one of his few actual good, selfless deeds. What in the hobbit's plan for world domination, or heaven domination, or whatever the fuck he was aiming at, required him to download the entirety of humanity's entertainment into Cas' brain?

A sane person wouldn't care. Hell, maybe a sane person would be happy that any random reference isn't met with a blank stare anymore. But Cas' obliviousness was so. Damn. Cute. Yeah, he's not admitting that aloud either but – for a powerful creature who could smite most who annoyed him, Cas is freaking adorable sometimes. And thank God he uses it sparingly, because he has a puppy look to put Sam's best weapon to shame.

In a weird, embarrassing sense, it kinda feels like Metatron has taken Cas'...pop culture virginity? The word might not be proper, but it won't leave Dean's brain, either. So yeah, if it depended on him, Metatron would be a little more uncomfortable than just bored.

The only good thing is, despite knowing what awaits him, Cas never protests when Dean declares movie night anyway. His angel (well, one can wish) even agreed that, "It's not the same at all, watching and knowing. It's more like Metatron gave me the Wiki pages about everything". Whether it's true, or whether Dean's disappointment about the change was so obvious Cas decided to lie to spare his feelings, he doesn't care.

So, uh, actual Friday the 13th, and (for once) no monster activity, there's obviously one way to spend it. The movies are basically cult. And if Sam grumbles that they get enough gore in real life and refuses to join...well, for once Dean's not going to argue with him. Not going to try and explain (never really has) that it's the point. It is like their life, only ridiculous. You don't have to worry about anyone actually needing to be saved. People's stupidity getting them killed in the most over-the-top ways? It's hilarious. Really, everything is so idiotic. Sammy would solve any movie in 20 minutes, and Dean would let him take the case alone, because these monsters don't even start to ping on their danger scale. Instead of wasting breath, he leaves his brother alone. The boy (never mind their age, a part of Dean will never see him as an adult, especially days like these) can stick to whatever book he has his nose buried in.

Cas curled next to him, licorice and a slasher (or however many they can fit in before giving up, because that series is so damn long). And no one complaining or objecting. That's another thing. Unlike Sam, Cas usually defers to him in these matters. Even now that he 'knows'. Best movie in the franchise? Who'd win if you pitted all horror villains against each other? Cas will take his word for it. Dean sometimes wonders if it's a byproduct of the habit of having faith in someone. Then tells himself to stop being stupid. But it doesn't matter. Because this? If it's not heaven, it's pretty close.