what story did you want to tell, my child
By: Aviantei
[Twelve Shots of Summer: Another D8 4/12]
[Parameters: "Actualization" + "Inserted into the Narrative"]
"Hey, Goro, are you okay?"
Goro blinks a few times, remembering where he is: on the rooftop of Shujin with the rest of the Phantom Thieves. Akira is sitting closest to him, clear worry shimmering in his eyes, even through the thickness of his lenses. Ann has leaned forward, similarly concerned, and even Ryuji has a little furrow in his brow. Morgana, whose expressions are much more difficult to read in his pure cat form than his more cartoonish version in the Metaverse, flicks his tail back and forth.
"Yes, I'm fine," Goro says, sitting upright in his rickety chair that Ryuji pulled from gods know where. It's a miracle that all the hijacked furniture doesn't just fall apart. "I'm afraid that I started daydreaming for a second. Were we discussing the infiltration?"
"We were," Morgana says, hopping up onto a desk. There's still something a bit disorienting about seeing an otherwise normal cat speak, let alone one talk big like he's the leader, but after Goro's already been into the Metaverse and the strange alternative version of his high school, there's not much else to do but accept it. "We've gotten pretty far in. We think we should be able to find the treasure today."
"Hell yeah!" Ryuji says, pumping his fist in a premature form of celebration. "We're so effing close, man. Let's get in there and give that bastard what he deserves."
Sitting beside him, Ann nods, her expression looking grim. It's a sharp contrast to the cheer and smiles she puts on in front of others, and Goro can understand that. "Right. I'm not going to let him get away with this…"
Akira nods, his meek appearance giving way for a moment to the more serious expression that he dons as Joker. "I picked up more supplies, so we should be good to go on that front. Um, I mean, if you're feeling up to it Goro…?"
Those gray eyes look at Goro again, concern still there. Goro tries not to make it obvious that that look alone is enough to make his heart almost burst because Akechi Goro is not easy, he is not, and he's certainly not already crushing on the transfer student he met less than two weeks ago, it doesn't matter how pretty Akira is or the way he turns into a competent and boisterous leader in the Metaverse or how he's concerned for Goro's wellbeing when there was nothing whatsoever to worry about.
"Like I said, I was just daydreaming for a moment," Goro says, hoping that's enough to assuage Akira's fears. "I'm more than ready to head into the Palace today. Like we all agreed on, we can't let Kamoshida get away with this." Goro's already stood on the sidelines for too long; he's not going to waste the opportunity to make a difference, to deliver justice for Suzui Shiho and all the others that Kamoshida Suguro has abused in the past. "If we're going in for the long haul today, we should get going. We don't want to be out too late if we can help it."
"Right." Akira nods, his lips playing into a Joker-like smirk as he reaches for his phone. "It's showtime."
Madarame's Palace is not a pleasant experience. It's not to ay that Kamoshida's was any better—worse, even, considering the crimes it represented—but this dismissive attitude, of pupils viewed as objects strikes a rather unfortunate taste on the back of Goro's tongue, one that's far too close to vomit. Kitagawa—no, Yusuke, there's no sense in formality now that he's joined their ranks—seems even more conflicted, staring at his large portrait as he processes the implications.
"Apologies," Yusuke says, just half of his apologetic expression showing under the cover of his kabuki-styled fox mask. "I know that it's important that we keep going, and that your infiltration has already progressed farther in, but I wanted to see it with my own eyes…" He sounds conflicted, hurt and tired and broken hope all mixed into one. "I'm really nothing more than a painting to him, an art piece to be shown off…"
"Fox…" Ann says, her great empathy evident even in that simple word.
Ryuji steps forward, patting Yusuke on the back. The scene still manages to be touching despite the drastic differences in their Phantom Thief attire: a pirate and a kabuki actor. "It's okay, man. Like, he was a dad to you, right? It's…really hard when someone who should care for you doesn't." There's a resigned sort of bitterness in his tone. "I'm not saying it's the same, but my dad ended up being a real POS in the end, but, like, I still miss what we had. You can feel whatever way you want, man. It's all valid."
It's Goro that notices the hard press of Akira's lips, how they form a tight line for a moment. "If you want, you can join the shitty dad club," he says after a moment, his tone joking, but his eyes serious. "Membership is still open."
"That makes four of us, then," Goro says, and he realizes that it's the first time he's ever dared to say the words out loud. Akira looks to him with that same open concern he shows off far too often, but Goro brushes him off. This isn't about him, not now. "Just know that we're here to talk if you need it, Fox. We thieves stick together, yes?"
Yusuke sucks in a breath, quiet but measured. "Yes, you're right. I appreciate you all. I…will consider your offer later, whenever Sen—ah, Madarame's threat is no longer a concern." Even so, he looks to his portrait on the wall one more time, his thoughts not obvious. "Did you not say that you had broken into the hidden room to open up a new area in the Palace? We should head that way, then."
"Alright, then this way!" Morgana says, taking charge as navigator. "You can learn the ropes of being a Phantom Thief as we go, Fox!"
"I must say, I didn't expect you to be so impulsive, Niijima-san."
Goro is no stranger to Niijima Makoto. They share a lot of the same circles, after all: Class 3-A, honors student, the same cram school, even a similar train route home. Goro even lost to her in the student council elections by a narrow margin, but, based on what she's mentioned about the ridiculous expectations Kobayakawa has dumped on her already overflowing plate, he's not so upset about that one now.
Of course, he does somewhat regret missing the opportunity to give their principal the runaround on his little investigation. Why, yes, sir, I'm afraid there's been no sign of the Phantom Thieves identities whatsoever, no, sir, it's not like I could be a member whose feeding you false information, not at all.
Though, it's not as if the opportunity is lost, though, not now that Niijima Makoto has joined their ranks.
"I could say the same about you, Akechi-kun," Niijima says, still having plenty of skepticism in her tone despite her exhaustion from her Persona awakening. "While we only fought for a while, you seemed a bit more…aggressive than you are at school."
Goro snorts, because that's an understatement. While he hasn't always been the model person, he knows when and where it's appropriate to be polite, to make less hassle for him overall. In the Metaverse, though—no, with the Phantom Thieves, well, there's no need to hold back, and the pure freedom of that has been so addicting that Goro's been getting a little bit too enthusiastic as he fights Shadows, not to mention whenever he's teaming up with Akira—
No, Niijima doesn't need to know about that part just yet. Ann and Ryuji have already been teasing him for months on the subject, and Goro will take whatever reprieve he can get.
"Well, awakening to your Persona…changes some things," Goro says, keeping his voice low enough that they won't be overheard. The train is rather crowded for the hour, but it's still better to be safe rather than sorry, what with the public stirring they've already caused. "Though, I suppose you've already realized that yourself, yes?"
Niijima blushes a very faint shade of pink, but she still looks proud, nonetheless. Goro can't fault her; it is incredible to tap into that burst of power for the first time, to run wild with your true self in all its glory. "Yes, you're right. I suppose I don't have much room to talk, do I?" She tucks a bit of hair behind her ear, regaining her composure. "Well, considering that I've joined up, I suppose we'll be seeing new sides of each other from here on out, won't we, Akechi-kun?"
"Goro." There's a beat as Niijima's eyes go wide, and even he needs one to recover. "In our group, we use first names. You're one of us now, so it would be rude not to offer you the same courtesy."
"Ah, right." Niijima clears her throat. "Well, I'm glad to be included, then. Feel free to call me Makoto as well, then." The train starts to slow, and the announcement of the next location sounds off over the speakers. Niijima—Makoto stands up. "This is my stop, so I should get going."
Goro nods, making to stand up as well. "Do you need help making it home? I know the first time can be—ah, exhausting, for lack of a better word."
"Thank you, but I should be good to make it home." There's another pause, but it doesn't feel awkward in the slightest, a moment between friends who are okay with the quiet times. "Thank you, though, Goro. I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Makoto. Good night."
Goro does not want to blame Sakura Futaba one little bit for what her Palace is, but it's still hard to be here. Not at first, no, that was fine, but the deeper they go in, the more the Phantom Thieves uncover, and each mural on the wall that they need to puzzle back together just adds another sinking feeling to Goro's gut, moment by moment twisting closer to nausea.
A mother committing suicide, a child put at fault—
Everyone else is chatting amongst themselves, a mix of grief and anger piling on top of each other at the unfairness of Sakura Futaba's situation. It's just Akira that doesn't participate, Akira that steps up to Goro's side and puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Crow," he says, voice soft enough that the others, still deep in conversation, don't notice, "are you okay?"
I'm fine, is Goro's first instinct, because that's what he always does (no one has time for you if you're not okay, Goro, they only have time for the pretty, shiny version of you—), but he forces that instinct down, though it is difficult. Still, straight up admitting the truth is a little more difficult. "This is…" Goro pauses, trying to find a good enough substitute for traumatizing that won't have the rest of Phantom Thieves pitying him. "…distressing, to say the least."
To say the most: awful, triggering, the worst feeling ever because Goro—
Goro…?
He swallows, trying to catch onto the end of the thought, but it's already gone, slipping away. Akira squeezes Goro's shoulder, the touch gentle and reassuring all at once, though he doesn't ask any more questions right then and there, which is as much of a relief as anything. "We should get moving," Akira says, catching everyone else's attention. "We've come a long way. Let's find the next safe room and head back."
"Right," Makoto says. "We've been fighting for hours, plus this is a lot. We should go home and rest up so we can come back fresh tomorrow." There is no question of if they'll come back tomorrow or not, because they will; if this is what's in Futaba's heart and the Phantom Thieves can set her free, then there's no need to drag it out any longer than necessary. It's for that reason alone that Goro almost protests their retreat, but the thought of finding an even worse memory buried in Futaba's consciousness is too much to bear, so he keeps quiet.
"You heard Queen," Morgana says, stretching out before making way for Joker to take point. "Let's all get some good rest!"
And so the Phantom Thieves fall into place as they scale down the wall, race up the hallway, open the now unlocked door, and uncover the new safe room before exiting. The heat of the summer night is an unpleasant contrast to the coolness of Futaba's Palace, but it's much more bearable than it has been during the daytime. Of course, that doesn't do anything at all for the unfortunate feeling in his gut and the scratching feeling behind his eyes, but Goro just needs to last long enough for the rest of the Thieves to leave, and then he can crawl his way back home to have a mental breakdown in the privacy of his own apartment.
Except even when the other Phantom Thieves disperse, Akira lingers behind. For a moment, he and Goro just stare at each other, saying nothing underneath the streetlight outside Sakura Sojiro's house. Goro should care that it might be suspicious to be hanging around here for no apparent reason, but he doesn't, he's too busy trying to find a way to avoid whatever awkward questions that Kurusu is doubtless going to throw at him.
But all that preparation ends up being for naught as Akira asks, "Want to come over for some coffee?" followed by, "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I thought you might not want to be alone right now."
Akira is not wrong, because Akira always seems to know what to say whenever Goro needs it, and that thought alone makes Goro's stomach turn in a very different way than the nausea already assaulting him allows. So Goro says, "Yes," almost whispering, "I'd like that."
So the two of them walk through the Yogen-jaya streets towards Leblanc. Goro's been here more times than he can count since the whole Phantom Thieves escapade started, but the café never fails to make him relax, stress slipping out of his shoulders. The place is empty tonight, save for Sojiro-san behind the counter, and the man gives the pair an appraising glance as they enter.
"Ah, you're back," Sojiro-san says, his otherwise dry tone making way for a note of familiarity. His eyes flick to Goro. "You planning on staying long?"
"If that's not any trouble," Goro says, already settling down at his usual spot at the counter, right before the small collection of books. With their haphazard range of titles, it's a little obvious that Sojiro picked them out just because they look good together, but, in some ways, that's part of the charm.
"I brought you business," Akira says, catching Sojiro's attention as he slips behind the counter, reaching for his green apron. Goro takes the moment to focus on his breathing, to see if he can pull himself back together into something. "I can take care of the shop tonight, if you want…?"
Sojiro raises an eyebrow, like he suspects that Akira's making that request for a very different reason than the reality—and Goro tries to pretend that he doesn't wish that were the case, instead of the reality of his near PTSD breakdown. "Well," Sojiro says after a moment, "I was thinking about going and buying another pack of cigarettes. Just don't shut the place down too early, you hear?"
"I wouldn't dream of it, Boss," Akira says, his voice a little too sincere to be believed, though that's just part of the joke.
There's a snort, but Sojiro's already heading towards the door, his hand up in a lazy wave. "Yeah, yeah, Make yourselves dinner if you want. There's curry ingredients in the fridge." And then Leblanc's door is open for a moment before it swings shut with Sojiro on the other side. Goro had closed his eyes for a moment, so he didn't notice that Akira was already in the middle of preparing Goro's coffee, no need to ask how he likes it, because he knows.
They enjoy the silence for a while, and Goro finds himself relaxing a little more, his body stabilizing again as he realizes he's safe. Akira's offer to talk is there, but so is the offer to keep safe if he prefers, and Goro chooses the latter. It's not as if he doesn't trust Akira enough to tell him; it's just that the opportunity for getting interrupted is still there, what with Leblanc still open, and Goro doesn't want to start crumbling to pieces somewhere so public.
It would be nice, he thinks, if there wasn't a story to tell at all.
Akira stays true to his word and doesn't ask. He finishes Goro's coffee, then another cup for himself, and then he's back in the kitchen, working on curry. The television is set to the news, reporters still talking about the Medjed threat, and Akira uses his temporary in-charge-of-Leblanc powers to swap the channel, stopping on Featherman R reruns without even being asked. Goro wishes every evening could be like this, then he gets embarrassed, and then he decides that there's no reason to be embarrassed at all, because so what if he has a massive crush on Kurusu Akira, so what? There's nothing stopping them from being together, aside from the possibility that Akira might not like him back, but that doesn't feel like the case at all.
Of course, that's a whole other matter, but it's also the small moments like this that make Goro like Akira all the more. His presence is peaceful, makes everything in the world feel worth it, and the two of them watch Featherman and eat curry and have a pleasant chat that makes the exhaustion of the Palace crawl earlier that day seem like they're from another lifetime.
When the plates are clear, the cups are empty, and the television has switched to another show altogether, Akira glances over to Goro. "It's getting late," Akira says, "did you want to stay over tonight?" There's something hopeful and beautiful in his expression, and the offer is so, so tempting, but—
"Perhaps another time," Goro says, standing up with reluctance and shrugging his bag over his shoulder, "I should get home.
"I don't want to make my mother worry."
[Author's Notes]
Yeah, I don't know that this is, either.
My original plan for this summer was to write all my [Twelve Shots of Summer] one shots for a Shaman King short story collection, and then I couldn't figure something out for these prompts. So I stared at [Actualization] for ten-thousand years and decided to cave and write P5R content. The concept is "What if Maruki decided to prioritize Akechi's wants in rebuilding the world, but Akechi's wish is wanting to be a true member of the Phantom Thieves from the start without needing to betray them." The shift at the end is because Akechi wishes that he didn't have to explain his mother's death, so Maruki rewrites reality to make it so his mother is still alive. Yeah.
I thought I'd make this longer when I started it, but this seemed like a good end point. I don't want to make this a giant AU and add another Project (TM) to my already massive list of WIPs, but I will probably drop a part two on this later in the summer, since I think I can make it work with the prompts. I would also like to shout out the [Twelve Shots of Summer] challenge for being a fun community and fun prompts. If you're interested, do go check the Billboard out for some other cool stories.
Thanks for reading,
-Avi
[06.26.2021]
