Disclaimer: I don't own.

Time-line: 2 years, 3 months. Roughly.

Chapter 14: The Curious Case of the Disappearing Chocolate

It had been a long night and all Rae wanted to do was drink some tea, eat some chocolate, and crash. She pulled out the chocolate then turned to the stove to heat the water. A mug, a spoon, a gallon jug of milk, and a container of sugar were soon arrayed on her counter top, swiftly being turned into a decent cup of tea as she poured the now boiling water over the bag of dried tea leaves. As she inhaled the wonderful aroma of the heavenly brew, her eyes closed in bliss. When they were opened again, she looked for her chocolate. Great was her surprise when she couldn't find it. Staring blankly at the spot where it should have been for a moment, Rae finally sighed and went to her couch to at least enjoy her tea.

/*/

It was empty. The chocolate stash was empty. Her eye twitched. She had restocked three days ago. A sigh and the holo was switched on with the local version of NCIS. "At least they were smart enough not to mess with my tea stash," Rae muttered, sipping at the spicy blend that was close enough to Bengal Spice for her to fall in love with it. The weather was turning cold and the skies had decided to unleash an unholy amount of water upon the poor mortals toiling beneath them. The only reason she wasn't calling it a Biblical Event was because she'd seen Kamino, even if it only on a screen.

/*/

"Okay, this is getting annoying," she growled, glaring at the spot where her chocolate had been not even half a minute before. "Please, who or whatever is doing this to me, stop. Before things get nasty." She had a feeling her plea would fall on deaf ears. Or the culprit was far from where he/she could hear her. Eh, their loss. She'd tried to warn 'em.

Women could get nasty when denied their treats, especially chocolate.

And especially when they knew their curse was close.

/*/

"Again!?" she shouted, dumbfounded. How was the thief even getting in? This was the fourth time in a month!

/*/

"Arugh!" Rae exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration as, once again, her chocolate was gone. She hadn't even put it in the same place! Muttering unpleasant things under her breath, she grabbed her keys and marched out the door. It was time to up her security.

/*/

"Seriously? This is getting ridiculous." Somehow, somehow, her hidden cameras had been deactivated and her chocolate stolen. Again. From a new stash. Again. Too bad she hadn't been able to find a shock trap. Hum... she'd have to keep an eye out for something like that in the future.

/*/

She glared. It glared back. She growled. It remained unchanged. "When I get my hands on whoever is stealing my chocolate... I'll make Mitarashi Anko look like Cozy Heart Penguin in comparison!" she vowed. If It hadn't been a counter... and It had been in any way familiar with the two mentioned... It would have been rightfully terrified. Or having a comical sweatdrop hanging off the back of Its head. As it was, the poor counter suffered no ill effects from Rae's vehement vow nor her scorching glare. The same could not be said for the delivery boy at the door. He refused to service her floor after that. "It's been a long week, not to mention day. I am though with this... this... panquie!" she ranted. Taking a deep breath, she decided to make good on that standing invitation she had with the Jedi Temple. Grabbing her shock stick, she headed out the door. She had a Jedi Master to irritate enough to challenge her... and then soundly beat. Okay, maybe not a Master, but a newly Knighted Jedi shouldn't be too hard to trounce with her primary weapon... should he?

/*/

Seeing a glaring Rae Mayar stalking through the temple with shock stick drawn was a rather intimidating sight. Especially considering what she'd done to Master Windu with a baguette. Sure it was stale, but it was still only a baguette. Considering this, it was difficult for her to get any of the Jedi to spar with her, so she put away her shock stick and laid in wait in 'her' training room. An hour later, an unwitting Master/Padawan pair walked in and was confronted with a grinning Rae. "Hello there!" she purred dangerously, stalking into the center of the room. "I'll be teaching you hand-to-hand combat this afternoon, Padawan. Do try not to bore me, it's been a long week for me and some idiot has decided that I must endure it without chocolate," she told the Padawan. He was concerned, but knew better then to deny the woman and so entered his opening stance. A few jabs, a kick or two, and a throw later Rae let out an irritated huff. "Really? That's the best you can do?"

"I'm only twelve!"

"I've met eight-year-olds who could do better than that. I did better than that after not practicing for six years! And that was against Obi-Wan Kenobi! You have no excuse," Rae told him.

"Jedi are peacekeepers!"

"So are police but they still need to know how to shoot a blaster, disarm their opponent, and deal with being disarmed themselves. Also, Laser Swords of Pure Awesome. Tell me, why would one carry such a deadly weapon, much less learn how to wield it properly, if they did not see the potential for violence in their future? Why call yourself a Knight if you refuse to learn how to fight? Even when my people discovered bow to split the atom and make things go boom they taught their peacekeeping and military forces how to fight without a weapon in their hands, to transform their bodies into a living weapon. I may only be trained as a Bouncer, but I'm pretty close to being able to call myself a weapon," Rae ranted. The Twi'lek's Master was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable around the irritated woman, but even he, who hadn't met her before, knew it would be a bad idea to try to steal his Padawan back from her. "Now!" she said, clapping her hands, "Let's see about correcting some of the glaring problems in your form shall we? Then we can move on to the good stuff."

Padawan Learner Sha'te gained a healthy respect for women, chocolate, and finger pokes that day.

/*/

After thoroughly schooling the Padawan, Rae decided to practice her Force Intuition by using it to find Obi-Wan. Jedi located, she proceeded to get schooled herself on the mat with her own bokken. "Why are you so... upset... today, Rae? It is most unlike you," Obi-Wan asked during a break.

"Someone has been stealing my chocolate and I can't seem to catch them!" she told him. He blinked.

"Why not use your Intuition to find them, like you did with me?" he asked. She blinked, then groaned.

"Idiot! Stupid! Dumkoff! Baka! Idiota! Stupido! Stultus! Sot! Di'kut! Hurtyn!' Rae ranted, her exclamations punctuated by a strike of her own bokken to her skull. Obi-Wan felt that in this case, discretion was the better part of valor and remained silent as her outburst ran its course. When she was done literally calling herself eight kinds of idiot, she lowered her bokken and closed her eyes. Obi-Wan smiled faintly as her breathing evened out, showing that she had begun to meditate. That smile died a painful death when her eyes snapped open, blazing with cold fire. Looking right at him. "Do you know where your Denshi is?" she asked.

"Deep trouble," Obi-Wan said, perfectly serious, easily putting it together that his apprentice had been stealing Rae's chocolate.

"Excuse me, Obi. I have a Sand Rat to... educate... in the ways of women," Rae said. Obi-Wan said a quick prayer to the Force for his apprentice. He was going to need all the help he could get.

/*/

"What have we learned, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked his young apprentice later that night, lounging in one of the truly uncomfortable chairs the Healers kept in the recovery rooms. The boy moaned.

"Women are all weapons of destruction and Chocolate is Sacred," he said... mostly. His jaw was wired shut and half his face was twice it's normal size. That wasn't counting the various cuts, perforations, lacerations, bruises, and embedded bread crumbs. Or the condiments that Bant was still washing out of said cuts, perforations, and lacerations. The bread crumbs would require more than just tweezers to get out.

"I never knew stale bread could do this much damage," the Healer muttered, eyeing one of the bigger crumbs. Obi-Wan sighed.

"I didn't realize Anakin could be so stealthy. I mean, sneaking out of the Temple, into Rae's apartment, and back? With absolutely no-one noticing until Rae consciously used her Intuition? For someone so stupid, that's rather impressive," he said. "I hope this experience doesn't discourage you from practicing those skills, Anakin," he added to his apprentice. The look he got in return clearly delivered the message 'I make no promises.' Or was it 'drown in your cereal'? Those two were still a little difficult for Obi-Wan to differentiate between.

/?/

A/N: Okay... so this didn't go the way I had planned... but I'd like to think it was funny all the same.

Bow to the Chocolate! BOW TO IT!

Oh and, beware of black belts wielding stale baguettes.