Cassandra put baby Addison down for a nap in the pack and play, covering the tiny girl's sleeping form with a second, more robust blanket than the patterned linen fabric she'd swaddled the six-month-old with.
She brushed back the baby's wispy, blonde curls as a wave of love and awe swept over her. Four kids in, and she still wondered at the individuality and personality of each of these tiny humans. Perhaps even more touched by the knowledge that because she'd survived, at least some of her cultural heritage would live through the ages. It was one of the reasons she'd been impelled to have a larger family than Greg had initially been comfortable with.
Fortunately, he'd learned to understand her point of view when Jack had gotten Greg the clearance necessary to hear about her past. Even given her a chance to take him through the stargate to her home world once.
She hadn't taken him up on it, not sure she was really ready to revisit all the memories such a trip would bring with it.
She stood again, taking her time as she walked out of the master bedroom. It wasn't anything like the house she'd left behind in Colorado Springs, but it was cozy enough with a queen-size bed and furnishings more reminiscent of a bed and breakfast than of a home.
"Mom!" Preston raced down the hallway, his bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor.
Cassie caught her five-year-old around the middle just outside the master bedroom door. "Preston, I just put Addy down for a nap."
Preston's ears pinked in embarrassment. Then, his voice quieted. "Dad said Samma's on the phone."
Cassie ruffled the boy's strawberry blond hair. "Samma?"
Preston grinned. "Like a grandma, but a Sam."
Cassie chuckled as she stood and closed the door. "Sounds logical. If Sam's a Samma, what does that make Jack?"
"A Jackpa."
Cassie broke into a grin as she walked back toward the kitchen. "I should have seen that coming. Let me guess, like a grandpa but really a Jack?"
The boy bobbed his head before he raced down the stairs to the den with his brothers.
Cassie shook her head as she followed, walking into the kitchen beside her husband instead. She picked her cell phone up and covered the mouthpiece. "Any idea what this is about?"
Greg's eyes were troubled. "You may want to take that out to the car."
Cassie's eyes widened. They only did that when they needed total focus, when they needed to keep the kids from interrupting them. They usually only used the tactic in moments of incredible urgency. Like when Jack had called to say that Sam had contracted COVID-19 and was in the ICU. Like when Greg had attended his grandfather's virtual funeral.
Fear squeezed Cassie's heart. Between the look in her husband's eyes and the suggestion that he take the call in the car, Cassie had the suspicion that something was very wrong.
Cassie put the phone to her heart as she steeled herself for the call before she put the phone to her ear. "Sam?"
"Hey, Cassie." Her voice was thin, quiet, the words slower than normal. Like she'd been crying but didn't want to reveal it to anyone.
More evidence that something was wrong.
"I'm calling because I think we need to cancel dinner tonight. Jack and I were really looking forward to it, but we're going to have to postpone. If you want, you or Greg could come and pick up the pot pie we'd planned for dinner."
A dozen scenarios flooded Cassie's mind. Ever since she'd been a kid, she'd found herself more than a little concerned whenever someone was late or had to cancel. That had only gotten worse after Sam had called to tell her that her adoptive mother, Dr. Janet Fraiser had been killed off-world. Add to that these new COVID concerns... "Are you or Jack sick?"
Sam sighed. "I should have thought—No. We're okay. Things have just been a little off between us lately. Today wasn't a great day, and I think we might need a little space to talk."
Cassie hesitated as she got into the front seat of the minivan and locked the door in case the kids came into the garage and tried to join her. She'd read about how the caretaking dynamic could create problems in spousal relationships. "Because of COVID?"
Sam was quiet for a long moment before she spoke again. "I guess it's no secret that my recovery is taking a toll on us."
"That's a bit of an understatement." The easygoing camaraderie Cassie had seen over the video chat just before she'd had Addy was gone when they'd come for Thanksgiving. Where once Sam and Jack had gravitated to one another whenever they were in the same room, they had stayed on opposite sides of the open living space when Cassie and her kids had come for dinner that first night in DC. It had been a little better at Thanksgiving, but still not quite the same.
Sam's voice had been filled with resignation. "Maybe, but this is something else."
The fact that Sam wasn't giving any more detail made Cassandra's blood run cold. "The Pentagon?"
"Cassie..."
The woman's cheeks pinked, feeling rebuked as if she'd been a child. "Well, don't worry about feeding us. We got some groceries delivered when we got into town. We'll have cereal or spaghetti or something. I'm just worried about you."
"Don't be." Sam's voice betrayed her, indicating that something was indeed very, very wrong. "When Jack gets back—"
Cassandra blinked. "When Jack gets back? Where did he go?"
Sam cleared her throat as if things were business as usual. "We'll call and plan something for later, okay?"
"Sam..." Cassandra wanted to protest. Wanted to be there for Sam the way Sam had always been there for her.
"I have to go, Cassie. I'll call back later, okay? Promise."
Before Cassie could say goodbye, the line clicked. She blinked at the phone as she tried to process the call. Something was definitely off.
"Everything okay?"
Cassandra set her phone on the counter as she walked back into the house to find Greg helping nine-year-old Carson with a bath of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. A family favorite at this time of the year. "I don't think so, but that's about all I know. Sam and Jack canceled dinner tonight—or Sam did, at least."
Twelve-year-old Harrison's face fell from where he sat at the kitchen table, tinkering with something. "Aw, man. I wanted to show Sam my robot!"
Greg turned a sympathetic eye to his eldest son. "We're still going to be here for a few more weeks. Maybe you can do some more programming so it will be even more impressive when you do get to show it off."
Harrison pondered the merits of the suggestion before he shrugged and went back to his tinkering.
Greg put his hand on Cassandra's arm, the only sign that he had gotten closer to her. "Are they sick?"
Cassie turned back to her husband. "No. She said it was something else."
He squeezed her elbow, having listened to her earlier fears that the couple wasn't admitting to some kind of marital problems. "I'm sure we'll see them—"
There was the sound of a vehicle stopping outside the house, followed by a cry of excitement as Preston threw open the front door and raced outside. "Jackpa!"
Cassie stiffened as she looked at her husband.
"Did Sam say he was coming?"
Cassie shook her head. In fact, if Cassie could have guessed, Sam hadn't known exactly where her husband had been. That in itself suggested that the O'Neill couple's problems were a little more serious than even Cassie had believed.
"Nice place you've got here." Jack accepted the cup of coffee that Greg handed to him. "Although it's a little smaller than the pictures made it seem."
Cassandra just stared into her own cup of coffee at the dining room table. "Yeah, well, we kind of expected that. Thankfully, the boys think it's an adventure to sleep on the floor in the den in front of the Christmas tree."
Jack looked surprised by the end of her statement. "You have a Christmas tree?"
Cassie laughed, despite her somber mood. "I have four kids under the age of thirteen, Jack. I wasn't going to get away without putting up the Christmas tree."
"Although we finally managed to convince the kids that the Elf on a Shelf had to quarantine this year." Greg leaned his hips against the kitchen island and faced the table with his own cup of coffee.
Cassie had almost expected some lighthearted chuckle about how much easier it had been to be a parent in the eighties and nineties before social media, but Jack just shifted. "So, did I hear right? Did Preston call me Jackpa?"
Cassie snickered, but Greg was the one who answered. "His preschool class was talking about families, I guess, a few weeks back. He got confused, I guess, when he was talking about grandma and grandpa, and said Samma and Jackpa instead. It stuck after that."
Jack was quiet, though his lips did lift in a reluctant smile. "Ah. Well, as long as it's an affectionate nickname. Too many people seem to think my name is Son of a bitch, but then, that's the Pentagon for you. This is a nice change of pace."
Feeling that the small talk portion of the visit was over, Cassandra cleared her throat. "Uh, we weren't expecting to see you today. Not after Sam canceled dinner tonight."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Sam canceled dinner?"
Cassandra nodded. "Just a few minutes ago. Said you two were having a hard time and might need some time to talk."
Jack let his eyes drift closed, like he should have anticipated Sam's action. "Of course, she did."
"Jack, I think she was really worried about you." Cassie shifted, not wanting to get in the middle of whatever was going on between the two.
Jack ignored the comment. "Harrison's robot seems pretty cool."
Greg took another sip of his coffee. He's really proud of it. The kids were only to bring a backpack of things to keep them entertained here. He decided to bring his robot instead of any video games."
"Smart kid."
There was a squeak from upstairs, and Cassie moved to stand. "That's the baby. She's being polite now, but if I'm not careful—"
Jack stood, himself. "Actually, if you don't mind, can I get her?"
Cassie's eyebrows shot up in confusion. She exchanged a look with her husband, less to see if it would be okay and more to nonverbally ask if he knew what was going on. Greg shrugged, apparently as baffled as she was. "Uh, sure. Just go up the stairs. Master bedroom's the first door on the right. She's in the pack and play."
Jack nodded. Tapped the doorframe on his way out.
Cassie looked up at Greg again. "It's not my imagination, right? There's something going on with him."
Greg's gaze followed the now-invisible general. "He's usually out with the boys by now. Don't get be wrong, I think it's great that he wants to spend time with Addy—"
"It's just a little weird, right?" Cassie finished his sentence as she brought over the dishes from the sink.
He nodded.
"Any chance this is the weird thing Sam wouldn't talk about on the phone?"
Greg set his mug on the counter. "You know her better than I do."
Cassie chewed on her cuticle, puzzling over the obvious pain that Sam and Jack had both danced around today. It was more than just whatever marital problems they'd endured. She'd bet her life on that. Probably even more than the burden that she'd read could come from a caretaker dynamic in a spousal relationship.
More like when Jack got distant or quiet near Charlie's birthday. Like when Jack would show up at Janet's house and ask if he could take Cassie out for ice cream just because.
A thought started to form. One that almost broke her heart to consider. "You don't think maybe it wasn't their choice not to have kids?"
Greg looked up at his wife and shrugged. "Maybe. I mean, it happens."
Cassie frowned as the smell of Carson's cookies wafted toward her from the oven. Almost done. "I just always assumed Sam didn't adopt me when I first came to Colorado because she didn't want kids."
Greg wet one of the dish rags and wiped the leftover cookie dough off the countertop. "Not everyone does."
"I know that. It didn't bother me. Especially since she was so careful about keeping in touch. I mean, there were kids at school who legitimately thought she and Mom were sisters."
Greg snickered, and Cassie suspected it was because he'd seen the pictures Cassie had where the short, feisty doctor and the leggy, athletic astrophysicist posed together at team functions and Cassandra's milestones. Physically, the two women didn't have much in common, but that hadn't impacted the bond between them.
Not for the first time since she'd met Greg, she wished he could have met her mother, could have seen why her friends were so convinced of the familial bond between the women.
Cassie set the dishes in the sink, then wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to comfort herself. "I never realized she might have wanted kids but needed to stay focused on her work."
Greg studied her. Draped the dish rag over the barrier between the two halves of the sink. Dried his hands on the dish towel and threw it over his shoulder. Offered her an expression that seemed to say how much he appreciated the moments when she'd share what she did about being adopted with him. Wrapped his arms around her. "Sounds like you might have some questions yourself."
A strange lump grew in Cassie's throat, and she tried to swallow down the tears it signaled. "Of course not. I loved my mom."
She leaned into his embrace and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "Both of them."
Greg ran his fingers through her hair. "Never said you didn't. Just said you might have some questions. Questions you couldn't really ask as a kid. Questions you might be ready to hear the answers to as an adult."
Cassie blinked away tears. Not for the first time, she remembered those hurtful, hateful words she'd hurled at her adoptive mother when she'd been fifteen. How only Sam had been able to break through the funk. Had been gentle yet firm with her correction while treating Cassie's intuition with the same kind of trust Sam might have given one of the adults she worked with.
And then there'd been the apologies after Janet died. The way Sam had broken down on the phone. I'm so sorry, Cassie... If I'd known...
All these years, Cassandra had assumed that it had been about trying to save Janet. That if Sam had seen the Jaffa who had killed Janet, things would have been different. But maybe the apology had been for something else.
Greg kissed the top of her head before he let her go, apparently sensing what Cassie was just now noticing. Her body itched for some distraction. Some other thing to think about than all her lost loved ones. She walked out of the kitchen to check on her baby, needing to hold the infant close. It had been too long since Jack had gone to get her.
There was a quiet voice, Jack's voice, whispering something. Distracting Cassie from her thoughts.
"You know, you're every bit as precious as your mother. Don't get me wrong, I didn't meet her until she was a bit older than you are now, but I can see her determination, her optimism in you. Maybe I'm a little biased, but you got yourself a pretty special family here. Your parents are pretty special, and don't get me started on your brothers. They're scary smart... And super creative. Which, if I'm honest, are family traits you got from your mom and your dad."
The baby gurgled as Cassie peeked around the corner to find Jack finishing up a diaper change. Addy curled up on his chest, and Jack rubbed her back as she snuggled in close to him.
He squeezed his eyes shut, and the moment seemed too private for Cassandra to intrude upon. Even if it was her baby he held to his chest.
She took a moment before she knocked on the door, pretending not to have seen the surprising display of emotion from the Air Force general. "How's she doing?"
Jack almost looked the way he normally did as Addy perched herself on his arm, more alert and excited to see her mother. "She's a pretty easygoing little thing, isn't she?"
Cassie grinned as Jack passed the baby to her. "For which I'm extremely grateful. My household is busy enough with three boys running around."
Jack's smile was somewhat sad as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I should go see how Sam's doing. If she canceled, she must be having a harder day than normal."
Cassandra studied him, though she tried to camouflage her intention by looking past the baby in her arms. "Is everything okay with you two?"
Jack blew out a puff of air the way he did whenever he was lying. "Sure. Why do you ask?"
"Because I've never seen you two like this."
He splayed his hands with a charming smile. "What can I say? It's 2020."
Another deflection. She wasn't going to get an answer out of him.
Cassie set the baby on her hip before she walked in and wrapped one arm around his neck. "You know we love you, right?"
Jack squeezed her right back. "Well, the feeling's mutual, Cass."
As they pulled apart, Jack grew a little more serious. "We'll reschedule dinner, but Sam's right. She and I need the space to talk. Keep tomorrow free, will ya?"
Cassandra bounced the baby on her hip as Addy started to fuss. "Will do. You'll let us know if there's something we can do to help, right?"
Jack put a gentle hand on Addy's back. "Believe it or not, you've already helped more than you know."
Cassie managed a thin smile as Jack kissed her cheek. "Take care, kiddo. See you tomorrow."
