Disclaimer: I do not own Lucifer or any associated characters in any way, shape or form, which are the property of Netflix.


I Hate Liars & Charlatans

Speech = "Speech"

Thoughts/highlighted text/ other end of a phone call = 'thoughts/highlighted text'

As Chloe and Meg were pinned down under the counter by Doug's men, Chloe was attempting to get through Meg and convince her that she needed to escape when she gave her a clearing. Unfortunately, the young woman was scared out of her wits and refused to listen to her. As a another shot hit the cutlery in front of them, the sound of someone whistling caused the shots to cease and a familiar voice she hadn't heard in months spoke.

"Hello bad guys."

"Who's this crazy fool?" asked one of the grunts.

The voice replied, "I hope I'm not late to the party."

As Chloe peeked over the counter, another bullet whizzed over her head, and the man who had fired the shot was thrown into the wall, plowing through the drywall, unconscious from the hit. As another grunt reloaded his gun and took aim, Lucifer grabbed his gun and snapped it in half, with Meg running out of the room immediately. He then grabbed the grunt shocked from watching his gun get snapped in half and threw him down, where the downed man attempted to pull his shotgun on him. Chloe then knocked him out with the hilt of her gun, and the grunts were now dealt with.

As Lucifer gently approached her, he spoke.

"Thought you could use a hand but, looks like someone beat me to it" pointing to the severed hand on the countertop.

Staring into his eyes, Chloe grabbed his face and kissed him for all he was worth, and it was at this moment that she felt something wrong.

"Lucifer…is everything ok? You seem different." she asked.

"Well for you it has been just a couple of months, but down there, time is different. For me it has been thousands of years. The only thing that kept me going was…thinking of you."

Chloe's detective sensed screamed that something was definitely wrong and remembered back to a conversation that she had with Amenadiel a few months ago when she asked about the rest of his divine family.

Flashback…

"What about the rest of your family – I know you and Lucifer, and he did mention that you had several siblings so what about them?" asked Chloe.

"Well, there are several of us, thirty-two in total…" and the first son of God went on to briefly explain his brethren one by one. Though there were some notable ones, like Remiel, who had once come to Earth recently regarding Charlie, and Michael, Lucifer's annoying twin brother who was the opposite of Lucifer – the Angel of Fears instead of Desires like Lucifer."

End Flashback…

Guessing that this was most likely Michael, she put some of her decades old acting skills to use and pulled off the classic wide eyed look screaming Lucifer, making the imposter look behind him for a possible intruder.

Aiming her gun, she pulled off two shots at the imposter's shoulders which would leave at most flesh wounds on a regular person, but instead put holes in his suit and left no injury, clearly indicating that this wasn't Lucifer who bled in her presence. With her free hand, she had simultaneously pulled out her second gun that Maze had acquired for her, one loaded with bullets made from one of her Hell forge steel daggers and pulled off four shots, two on his thighs and two on his shoulder blades, surprising the imposter at feeling the shots.

With shock all over his face, the imposter fell to the ground, clearly in pain from the bullet wounds.

"What…"

"After having Lucifer for a partner for nearly three years, I'd like to think that we've both learned from each other – he's picked up a few of my traits and I have picked up a few of his, namely his hatred of liars and charlatans which you clearly are…Michael."

"How did you know?" asked the imposter, his voice now slightly harsher than Lucifer's.

"You didn't kiss me the way Lucifer does – I didn't feel the emotion that Lucifer puts into each and every intimate moment we have every had" said Chloe, knocking him out with a shot just under his waist, with him screaming out in pain and fainting.

Taking out her phone, she first dialed Amenadiel. As he picked up the phone, she spoke.

"Amenadiel, I have a question."

"Sure Chloe, I'll do my best to answer."

"How would you feel if I told you that I shot Lucifer's twin with hell forge steel bullets in the balls for attempting to impersonate Lucifer?"

"If it were anyone else, I would be upset, but…it's Michael. He's a douche. Can I speak to him?"

"Unfortunately, no. He passed out from pain – to quote the real Lucifer 'a pansy with no pain tolerance'.

"I'll be there in 5."

X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X

Meanwhile in Hell, Lucifer had been watching Chloe through his viewing sphere from time to time – it gave him something to do and watching her solve cases brought back good memories, keeping the oppressive atmosphere of Hell at bay. Watching Michael appear on Earth and impersonate him angered him, even more so when he kissed the Detective. Though watching her immediately put her lovely acting skills to use and shoot Michael in several places made him laugh like crazy, even more so when she shot him in the balls.

The denizens of Hell were suddenly unnerved upon hearing their Lord laughing like a hyena.

X - - - X - - - The End - - - X - - - X