AN:Woof is this way later than I wanted it! Sorry I've been very busy with work and then also very busy out of work, I moved an am on a podcast now! Obligatory plug of it here: Redacted Roulette, four friends talk about a mostly randomly decided thing! Better cover art pending. It's on spotify? I think?

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Iruka had tried to give Rōzu a fair amount of time before pestering them for additional information to let them heal up some more. Now that he was pretty certain he'd get the info from them, he thought he could wait somewhat patiently. After two whole days of waiting, he learned that wasn't true. Luckily, he'd come up with a good way to fabricate a situation to get them to churn the information out to him.

"Naruto don't forget" he pulled the young scamp aside. "Parent teacher conference, today. I will know if you don't tell Rōzu about it."

"Not if you get knocked out before then and get amnesia before then" Iruka did not like the tone he used as he left the room.

"Iruka-sensei should we all tell our parents about it too?" Sakura got a collective groan from the class asking this.

"Uh" he peered out the doorway to see if Naruto was still in earshot. "Nope, no other conferences today."

"Will there be other conferences ever?"

"No probably not" this got some cheers from the class. "Just make sure to study for the test this Friday."

After that rollercoaster of child highs and lows Iruka looked through his desk for papers. He had to create the illusion of a parent teacher conference before his actual plan started.

"Why don't I have any assignment from Naruto?" he had gone through three drawers in his desk now and found none. "He turns them in I think?"

"You alright Iruka?" Mizuki looked at him tearing apart the desk a little confused and afraid.

"No I am not alright!" he swept through some floor papers. "NARUTO HASN'T TURNED IN A SINGLE ASSIGNMENT!"

"Yes he has?"

"THEN WHERE ARE THEY?"

"Well, his last name is Uzumaki, so his stuff is in the other cabinet since it's the second half of the alphabet?"

Iruka looked at the drawers he'd turned over to find any paper. His embarrassment grew as he saw the early parts of the alphabets. The final desk drawer cut off at R. Slowly he stood up and went over to the drawer and opened the S-V section.

"Oh."

"You doing alright buddy?"

"I am completely fine, I just am distracted."

"By?"

"This parent teacher conference."

"Oh shit we're doing those? Fuck do I have to do the Uchihas this year?"

"No no, just the one."

"You're distracted because we have a single parent teacher conference?"

"Oh uh" he forgot that Mizuki might want to be there for this. "You know, it's with Naruto's new mom so like, there's a lot to cover."

"Wait. Naruto has a mom, AND a new mom?"

"No just one new mom."

"SINCE WHEN?"

"THANK YOU FOR ALSO NOT KNOWING!"

"Oh wait do you know now?"

"YOU KNEW BEFORE ME?"

"Yeah like everyone knew, how did you miss that?"

"HE LITERALLY ADMITTED TO HIDING THAT FACT FROM ME!"

"IT'S A WHOLE ASS PERSON! WHO CAME HERE! TO ASK ABOUT HIS CLASSES!"

"WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!"

"Dude, you were there."

Iruka paused, he did vaguely remember Mizuki telling him someone came in and pretended to be Naruto's mom. He was just filing some papers so left Mizuki to talk to them then.

"YOU SAID IT WAS A JOKE!"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS! BUT THEN THEY CAME IN AGAIN THE NEXT DAY AND WERE MAD THAT I PUT FART CLASS ON THE PAPER!"

"YOU SAID HE HAD A FART CLASS?"

"Yeah" Mizuki laughed a little. "I did."

"Why didn't you tell me about them?"

"Naruto said it'd be funny, he was right."

"But still, it was kind of relevant."

"Dude I'm not a narc" he went over and grabbed some papers out of Iruka's hand. "But I will absolutely be here to tell his mom how bad he's doing in class."

"Or" Iruka refocused, he couldn't have Mizuki here for the conference. "You just let me handle it and take the night off."

"No way, this is going to be the literal best conference ever."

"I dunno, I think it'll be really boring."

"I'm sorry, are you insane? I cannot think of a single thing about this that won't be incredibly fun."

"Like what?"

"This is the parent who beat someone at the orphanage senseless and threatened to do so to the Hokage. Since you're driving the conference I just get to watch."

"I don't think it'll be anything like that."

"Well I do."

Iruka had no idea how to get Mizuki to not stick around for the conference, and Rōzu could show up at any time. As the door opened up and they strolled into the room his hopes of getting info today faded.

"Hey Ruka hey fart guy" Rōzu looked out of it to say the least, the shirt with poorly cut off sleeves only added to that image. "Parent is present! Let's make this quick my pain meds are stuhwrong."

"Oh hell yes" Mizuki pulled two more chairs over to the desk and excitedly sat down.

"I really don't think we both need to be here for this though you know?" the one day in his life Mizuki wanted to do some extra work and it had to be today.

"You're right, take the night buddy I can do this alone."

"Yeah and besides I already talk to you like everyday" Rōzu was now a hindrance to his plan.

"See?"

"Oh and you can go watch Naruto for me since I left him with Kakashi and whoa boy does that seem like a bad idea."

"Oh god why would you do that?"

"Well I was coming here to talk with you, and I saw Kakashi, and I, being low on options, left Naruto with him."

Iruka was torn. One the one hand, he wanted to get this info finally. On the other much more responsible hand, Kakashi could not be trusted with a young child.

"We can just postpone this parent teacher conference til you're not on drugs" he compromised on his internal debate. "So let's go find Naruto."

"What" Mizuki locked eyes with him, the slight widening of them let Iruka know he'd realized something. "Actually I can just go grab Naruto while you take over here."

"I am still on drugs regardless of who is here for the conference incase that's not clear."

"What who cares" Mizuki had gotten up and was walking past Iruka to the door. "I totally see what's going on here, you could've just said so man."

"What?" Iruka was now lost as to what was going on.

"So we are doing a conference?" Rōzu gave them both a fairly hazy look.

"Yeah you and Ruka here" Mizuki winked to him when saying that. "Can handle it without me I'm sure."

"Uh, yeah alright?"

"No worries bro, I didn't win wingman of the year for nothing" with that final whispered line Mizuki was out the door.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"No that was to him."

"Who?"

"Mizuki the other instructor."

"Who?"

"Fart guy."

"Ah fart guy" the confused air about them seemingly dissipated before returning in full a few moments later. "So what do we do now at this conference?"

"Well typically I go over how the student you're the parent of is doing in their classes and answer any questions you've got about their progress."

"Given who my child is I'll assume he's doing poorly."

"Well, overall his grades aren't great, yes, but recently they have been improving. Likely due to some out of school guidance."

"Are you telling me Might Guy is making my son do better in school?"

"Ok taking that question at face value I don't understand your shock, he is a very well respected Jonin of Konoha."

"Fair, but" they paused for a few moments. "He isn't exactly imparting wisdom."

"But he is probably imparting something to Naruto."

"Mostly the importance of faking being knocked out, but go on."

"Anyways, I didn't exactly mean Guy, but I won't devalue any lessons he's giving Naruto. I mostly meant having a parent in his life to help him out seems to be doing wonders for his grades."

"Is this about how he keeps tricking me into doing the assignments? It's an accident I swear he's just so damn convincing."

"I'm sorry, you're doing his homework for him?"

"Not all of it, but probably a lot of it now. He got really good at making up lies about practice exams and parent sheets."

"And you didn't think that was particularly suspect?"

"Well no I never went to school I don't know what is a normal assignment."

"You never went to school?"

"No school's for losers, I'm awesome, I can do a one handed-handstand check it out!"

"Wait you should definitely not do that ri-" he watched in horror as they crashed into some desks before he could stop them.

"I'm ok!" Rōzu did not look ok at all given their current position. "I landed on the broken arm and it absorbed most of the impact."

"Do we need to go back to the hospital?"

"When you say "we," do you mean me and you or the 4 yous I'm seeing?"

"Well that answers that" he started helping them up from the ground. "Come on the concussion you just got should be checked out right away."

"Ha at least you can tell fart guy the conference went so well I had to limp home."

"I won't because I don't like the connotations of that."

"Which one?"

"I'll just go ahead and say all of them."

"Yeah that's fair."

They leaned on him pretty heavily during the trip, hopefully he hadn't just seen them break another limb. It took a lot longer than he would have liked to get there, he had to stop and make sure they didn't pass out on him a handful of times. After an hour he got them to the hospital's front desk.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist gave them both a quick once over.

"Yeah I think my friend here is a little concussed, and maybe broke a leg?"

"Another street fight?" she seemed to recognize Rōzu at least.

"These parent teacher conferences are way more dangerous than I expected" through all the haze, Rōzu managed to say something to very heavily incriminate him.