AN: Sorry for the delay here! I initially had a much longer chapter, and during my editing pass through of it I realized I actually did not like most of it, so I scrapped it and wrote this instead! I think this one is better, and I hope ya'll like it! I've said this before but one last time: I'm gonna put this story on pause for a bit, maybe till march? I wanna finish up some of my other projects before I kick off part two of this!

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Over a full month later and the village was back to normal, of course most of it had never even noticed what'd happened. The Hokage's cover up on the matter was widely accepted, even if it was quite vague. As far as anyone who wasn't directly involved that day was concerned, some rogue ninja had attempted to execute the Uchihas for revenge. Fugaku, as well as a shockingly large number of his clansmen, all died heroes protecting their families and the village from the attack. Being one of the unlucky few to actually be there, Iruka had decided to take his training more seriously. He wouldn't let Itachi put himself at risk to save them all again.

"DODGE!" the previously mentioned teenager's warning snapped him out of his daze. It unfortunately did not do so quick enough.

Rōzu had no trouble throwing him across the training ground, right where Kakashi was waiting to distract him once more. Thinking fast this time, Iruka shut his eyes to avoid another Sharingan genjutsu. Kakashi was only there to put him under those so he only had to worry about detecting Rōzu now. Focused now, he could hear them coming. Spinning low he managed to sweep out their legs, the resulting crash meant he'd also gotten them to fly into Kakashi.

"Not bad" the second Rōzu that put him in headlock sounded a little impressed. "But you really shouldn't close your eyes during a fight."

"And how exactly" Iruka really wished they'd learn to ease up on the chokeholds. "Do you deal with Kakashi?"

"Checkout his feet."

"Cause that's so easy."

"That's enough for today" Kakashi, now fairly wet, pulled them apart. "For next time, think up a better move than closing your eyes though."

"Right cause the Guy method is so easy."

"Hey it works for me."

"I have never seen it work for you."

"Back in the hold for you" Rōzu leapt onto his back and put him into another chokehold.

"Help" he reached out to Kakashi.

"Talk shit get hit man."

"And what did you two learn today?" Itachi was making sure two quiz the two children so they'd get something out of watching this training session.

"Talk shit get hit!" Naruto had written that in big letters over all his other notes.

"Don't close your eyes in a fight!" Sasuke had done a similar thing, but with a good takeaway.

"Very good."

Before he actually passed out, Rōzu let go of him. They'd gotten a lot better at gauging where that threshold was recently, something he appreciated. If they wouldn't indulge his request to just stop putting him in random chokeholds, he'd take not being left knocked out in the woods.

"Alright Naruto let's see those clones!" Rōzu moved onto his training while Iruka caught his breath.

"Ok!" Naruto ran over to the center of the field, a jutsu scroll in hand. "But you better be ready to finally teach me that water ball move!"

"Yeah yeah."

Iruka was a little surprised he'd brought a scroll for the clone jutsu. He'd had the handseals down for it a few months ago. His confusion only increased as Naruto did none of them and instead just held a single strange looking one.

"Oh he found my present finally" Kakashi saying this didn't offer him any peace of mind.

"Shadow clone jutsu!" Naruto disappeared in a large cloud of smoke. As it cleared, Iruka's jaw hit the floor. He'd somehow managed to make nine clones.

"Well shit" Rōzu had clearly not expected this either. "Wait a second, that's not the right jutsu!"

"It's close enough!" the chorus of Narutos somehow managed to say this in perfect unison.

"Is it?" they were looking back to Iruka.

"I mean, they are clones" he didn't actually know what this jutsu was, but it certainly looked correct.

"Then we win!"

"I guess so? So then, I guess get rid of the clones and I can show you this move."

With another massive cloud they clones departed. The smoke was blown away by Naruto vibrating in excitement. Rōzu scratched their head, probably trying to think of how to teach him the jutsu.

"So like, you just do this handseal" They showed him the tiger handseal. "And then use your chakra to create water in your mouth."

"Is that possible?"

"I mean yeah, I can do it."

"Hm true, and if you can do it I can do it but better."

"Hey! I'm still your mom" They had him in a headlock in a matter of seconds.

While Rōzu took a more hands on approach to teaching Naruto, Iruka decided to chat with Kakashi about something.

"So, shadow clones?"

"Yeah, figured he'd have a better time with it."

"Because?"

"Just a hunch."

"Is there any real difference between it and the normal clone technique?"

"You know, who can say?"

"Probably you?"

"I mean, it might, possibly, split the users chakra between all the clones made. Maybe."

"YOU TAUGHT THAT TO A CHILD!" Iruka had seen him make nine, he'd split his chakra ten ways and survived?

"I mean, no I didn't, I gave him a scroll showing him how to learn it."

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!"

"He's fine, it's fine, everything worked out in the end."

"Kakashi, please tell me you have a good reason for having given him that scroll, because this is very literally child endangerment."

"What? No way."

"Could he have gotten hurt learning the technique?"

"I mean, in theory, if he made like, ten or more."

"Convenient that you say exactly one more than the number he did make."

"What a strange coincidence."

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"Please never do something like this again."

"Listen, I'll admit I knew it'd be fine."

"And how could you have possibly known that?"

"I mean, I sort of knew his parents, and some things about them."

"Oh I'm aware" Iruka had forgotten about Kushina revealing that in the hubbub of doing some inception. "How does that clear you here though?"

"Well, unless Kushina lied to me, Uzumakis all have a lot of chakra. Since I heard Naruto was having issues with the clone technique I assumed that was why, so I gave him that scroll for his birthday. It just took him awhile to find it I guess."

"He's still a seven year old! He can't have that much chakra!"

"Uh, maybe take a look over there before saying that."

Iruka humored him and looked over at the training. Naruto was holding the tiger seal and concentrating, his cheeks were fairly puffed up.

"Now you just gotta spit it out, aim for a tree" Rōzu was speaking calm and slowly. He was a little surprised by how quickly they'd managed to teach him that jutsu.

For the second time in twenty minutes, Iruka's jaw dropped. The sheer amount of water he blasted out dwarfed Rōzu's version of it. The things it did to that poor unsuspecting tree were not right.

"Well uh" Rōzu had clearly not been prepared to see that either. "That's certainly it yeah."

"Hold" Naruto was a little unsteady on his feet now. "The applause please."

"Yeah yeah kid" They took him back over to the side of the field to sit down. "Take it easy for now, you can practice it some more tomorrow."

"But mom, I wanna practice it more now!"

"Well next time don't pour all your chakra into one blast and you can" they ruffled his hair.

"Fine" a pouting Naruto watched Itachi and Sasuke take the field.

"I can admit your point might have some" Iruka was not going to let him off the hook this easily. "And I mean like, a very small amount, of merit."

"You can just say I was right."

"I would sooner die."

"Hm, I can arrange for that if it's what you want" Kakashi headed over to sit with Naruto and Rōzu.

Left alone with what he hoped was a joke threat, Iruka also went to sit down. Itachi was running Sasuke through the basic usage of his Sharingan. Apparently seeing his father burn himself and an entire section of the village to hell was enough to activate it. This had been most of the training the Uchiha boys would do, Itahci still wasn't approved for active combat and it showed. On the good days he had to use a cane to get around, on the bad it seemed like he wasn't able to move at all.

"OW" his train of thought was cut off by two chopsticks poking into each of his ears.

"NEW RECORD!" Naruto threw the sticks in the air to celebrate.

"I thought you stopped doing that" Iruka was now rubbing his ears.

"I strive for perfection, I would never give up after five failed attempts."

"Can these records be submitted by anyone?" Kakashi was apparently intrigued by this new fun way to annoy Iruka.

"Of course, Teuchi had the last record of two" Rōzu showed him the leaderboard.

"Maybe I should find new friends who don't encourage people to stab my ears."

"You think there's a single person in this village who isn't aware of the leaderboard? Nowhere is safe for you."

"This village is too dangerous" Iruka protectively held his ears.

While Itachi and Sasuke finished up the group pulled out their various meals. Rōzu and Naruto were now down their chopsticks, which prompted Naruto to try and eat his food with his hands.

"NO!" Rōzu was quick to throw him into a headlock.

"LET ME LIVE" Naruto had left himself too weak to struggle against their ironclad hold. He was forced to sadly stare down at the food.

"Just use mine" Iruka was pretty sure he could get away with using his hands.

"Oh so he can eat with his hands?"

"Naruto I'm not Iruka's mom, I'm sure she will be looking down on him with a similar feeling of disdain though."

"RUDE!"

"Take these" Itachi came over and pulled two sets of chopsticks from his bag. "The yelling is distracting Sasuke and making it hard to focus on training."

"Yeah Iruka geez" the Uzumakis were quick to pin it on him while accepting the chopsticks.

With the chopstick fiasco taken care of them four of them started to eat. They were too busy watching the training to cause a new fiasco to disrupt it. While Sasuke couldn't match the raw energy levels Naruto had, he could certainly match his fervor for training. It only ended when he was too exhausted to create any more fireballs.

"Good work today, you've improved on the Phoenix Sage technique much faster than expected."

"Thanks!" Sasuke managed to perk up at the praise as he opened his own food.

"Also" Itachi produced a sheet from his bag. "Our mother wanted me to give you all this sheet for the party tomorrow."

Looking it over, the sheet was just for who would be bringing what. Mikoto had put herself down for snacks, Rōzu was already down for drinks for the kids as well as cups. This left the two separate sections for alcohol to Iruka and Kakashi.

"When it says drinks for the kids" he wanted to make sure it wasn't alcohol also.

"Like apple juice and stuff."

"Ah of course."

"And a six pack of course."

"Ignoring that."

"I'll put myself down here" Kakashi filled in the one drinks section. "I luckily already have a good amount on hand."

"How hard can buying some be?" Iruka put himself down for the other section.

"The day before new years?"

"Yeah?" he'd never gone alcohol shopping for a new years party before.

"Oh boy I almost wanna go just to watch!" Rōzu's tone didn't inspire a lot of hope in him.

"Thank you" Itachi put the sheet back in his bag. "Also, the party will start at six tomorrow night."

"Oh great, plenty of time to sleep in" Kakashi stretched a little before getting up. "I'll catch you all then."

"Plenty of time for someone" Rōzu looked right at Naruto. "To wrap up his chores and winter break schoolwork."

"Plenty of time for a teacher who assigns break work" Naruto was staring directly at Iruka now. "To go missing."

"Yeah lots of time for lots of things!" Rōzu threw him over a shoulder and got up. "See you all then! Well, at least you two for sure!"

"Wait what?" Iruka did not like them giving his threat some weight.

The only reply he got was for Naruto to point at his own eyes and then at Iruka. With that threat left in the open he decided to get to the safety of his home as fast as possible.

"Hopefully um, I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Good luck" Itachi waved him off.

Finding a store to get the drinks? Easy enough. Getting inside the store and finding the drinks? A nightmare. He'd never been to war, but the mass of other last minute shoppers made him know its horrors. The only reprieve from the sea of nameless souls throwing him around was when he bumped into a cart filled to the brim with drinks. Looking to its pusher he sighed.

"Hey bro!" Mizuki was happily loading up for something big. "I was literally just thinking of you, this is so crazy."

"You were?"

"Yeah man! It's almost the new year and who better to invite to my party than the party animal himself?"

"Uh? Am I the party animal here?" Iruka found it hard to focus on Mizuki and avoid dropping any of the things he was holding.

"Bro did you think I forgot about your very exclusive fun friday? The events that went down that day are legendary!"

"Really?" Iruka had certainly never told him anything that had happened that night, which meant Mizuki had filled in the gaps on his own. "Wait, do you always have a party?"

"I don't see why that's a relevant question."

"I mean, I don't think you've invited me to any other parties?"

"What? Nah."

"Nah….?"

"Yeah you get it."

"No I don't?"

"So tomorrow? Party starts at nine but you KNOW we pregame in this apartment."

"Oh man tomorrow?" Iruka had literally just made plans for a party. "Ah shoot, I've got another party then."

"What! But bro, all the other teachers are coming!"

"Wait."

"I am waiting."

"Do you invite literally every other teacher to this yearly party, but me?"

"Again, I fail to see how that's a relevant question."

"Uh huh" Iruka was gonna remember this.

"But you really can't make it? Not even the pre-pregame?"

"The pre-pregame?'

"Yeah."

"When do you start partying exactly?"

"Literally the second I wake up on new years eve. I waste no time on the one day I am societally allowed to get smashed."

"I'll try and make the pre-pregame."

"Ah thank bros" Mizuki gave him a light punch on the arm. "The people are so excited to see your legendary kegstand."

"My what?'

"You know, your kegstand move? You told me all about how you busted it out on fun friday."

"Well, I can't disappoint the people" Iruka was going to look up what a kegstand was later.

"Hell yeah bro! I'll catch you at the pre-pregame then!"

Using the hole in the crowd Mizuki created with his oversized cart, Iruka managed to get to the counter mostly unharmed. With the few bottles he felt would be enough for one night in hand, he headed home. Given his prior experience at one party, he decided to pack a small bag with all kinds of quick remedies, just in case. Feeling ready for anything he went to bed.

"KNOCK KNOCK IT'S PARTY O'CLOCK!" At exactly one minute after midnight Mizuki was at his door.

With close to two hours of sleep in him, Iruka was very cranky to be woken up by this. His anger only grew as the knocking and yelling got louder every second. Knowing he had no other choice than to relent, he went to the door.

"There's the man of the hour!" Mizuki was sporting a drink hat with four cans on it.

"Mizuki."

"Yes buddy?"

"I will kill you and then myself if you don't let me sleep."

"And that hour will be at uh, noon."

"Thank you" having put him off, Iruka returned to bed.

He woke up again around eleven, and after that encounter, decided to ditch Mizuki. Not knowing where else to go, he dropped by the Uzumaki residence.

"Hello?" he'd been knocking on the door for five minutes before calling out.

"Oh my god" Rōzu finally answered the door, wearing pajamas. "It's new years eve why the hell are you at my door this early!"

"It's almost noon?"

"And?"

"And I need to hide from Mizuki."

"God fine, just make less noise" they let him in before returning to their room. "I'll be officially awake at two."

"Is Naruto not here?" Iruka found it hard to believe they could sleep in that late with Naruto around.

"He's with, uh" they started snapping with their one hand. "You know, that one kid. What's his face."

"Your son is just somewhere else and you don't know where?"

"No I do know, I'm just half asleep ok! Choji? I wanna say Choji."

"Why is he with Choji?"

"They had a sleepover, why else would he be with him?"

"I mean, I dunno I just thought you'd have told me about that before."

"Well I'm sorry are you either his or my dad? Do not answer that."

On that very confusing note Rōzu slammed their door closed leaving him alone. Without anything else to do, he started poking around the place. He was there often enough that there wasn't really anything new to him. Left with little else to look at, his eyes turned to the scattered papers on the table. There was a lot of typical mail, random ads and promotional campaigns, some bills, and a card? He reached out to grab it but stopped himself.

"Come on, you can't just go through the mail" he reprimanded himself quietly, even though his eyes had quickly drifted back to looking at the card.

It was very clearly a card to celebrate something, but for what? He couldn't see the rest of the cover without moving other stuff off of it, which he was very sure would be a violation of privacy to further investigate it. Determined to not do that, he went and sat down on the couch and looked away from it.

"You are a grown man, who respects the privacy of his friends" even as he said this he was slowly turning to look back at it. "And even if you really want to know, you can live without knowing."

"Oh my god just fucking look at whatever it is I don't care, just shut the fuck up!" he flinched as they yelled at him, his whisper was apparently not that quiet.

He, now internally, weighed his options. They had technically said he could check it out, even if it was only because he was being accidentally annoying. He looked back at the card. It was taunting him with its hidden contents. Quietly, he slid the other papers off of it and picked it up. It was a birthday card? Opening it up he saw it was addressed to Rōzu, from someone named "Yukie Fujikaze." Why the hell would someone sign their name in quotes like that? He may have already breached a good deal of privacy by looking at it, but he felt very weird about reading the contents of the card. Putting it down, he noticed a movie case that was hidden by the card.

"They know a movie star?" it was very easy for him to see that same name plastered on the cover, and for him to finally recognize it. This piece of info was so jarring he'd forgotten to not talk out loud.

Before he could fully process what had happened, the card and movie were both gone and their door once again slammed shut. Sensing the very large mistake he had just made, Iruka decided to go hide out somewhere else. It didn't take too long for him to end up at Kakashi's home. Thankfully he didn't look like Iruka had just woken him up.

"Am I late somehow?" Kakashi turned to check a clock.

"No no, I just need to hide out and avoid Mizuki."

"So you came here?"

"I was at Rōzu's first, but I um, you know mistakes were made.

"Mistakes like?"

"Who can say?"

"Right…."

"But can I hide out here?"

"Sure I guess" he opened the door and gestured him inside.

Having learned a lesson, Iruka managed to avoid doing any other snooping into private matters. As the clock drew closer to six a small pit of dread started to grow in him. They were definitely going to be upset with him about the mail, and he did deserve it. He also just would rather avoid that.

"You know may-"

"Nope."

"What?" Iruka hadn't even finished making up an excuse to not go before Kakashi shot it down.

"You either come to our party, or I find Mizuki and sick him on you."

"What but, that's so unfair!"

"Tough."

Because of this very real threat, Iruka arrived with Kakashi at six. Rōzu and Naruto were already there setting up some game. He tried to avoid looking at them.

"Ah there's the man of the hour!" their non-aggressive reply only made him more worried. "Do you know who dropped by like ten minutes after you left?"

"Was it Mi-"

"It was Mizuki!"

"Was he bei-"

"Oh he was so loud. So very very loud."

"I'm sorry!"

"Oh trust me, you think you're sorry right now, but I will have you drowning in regret later."

"I'm really sorry!"

"Oh don't worry, I'm not mad. I've already put things in motion, I have processed these feelings and moved on."

"Really?" he didn't particularly like the things in motion part, but was glad they weren't currently mad at him.

"Really."

"Oh great everyone's here!" Mikoto came out with various snacks. "You two can put those drinks in the kitchen."

"Gotcha" following her instructions Iruka and Kakashi put their drinks in the kitchen.

With the not safe for children drinks put away, the kid safe party was ready to be kicked off. It was officially kicked off after an argument over flip cup being an appropriate game for children or not. The following games were, in Iruka's opinion, much more appropriate for children. After Iruka lost at charades for the fourth game in a row, Kakashi did not know how to mime any non-violent things, the kids were ready for bed. Well, Sasuke was.

"I AM NOT TIRED!" Naruto had apparently gotten an energy drink during the night.

"YES YOU ARE" Rōzu was doing their best to restrain him.

Wordlessly Itachi got up from his seat and looked into the eyes of the restrained Naruto. A few moments later he was asleep.

"Please, please teach me how to do that."

"Develop a sharingan."

"Develop a sharingan" they said it in a slightly higher tone while carrying Naruto out.

"I'll also be retiring now" Itachi headed to his own room, stabilizing himself using the wall.

"And you too" Mikoto grabbed Sasuke's hand to put him to bed too.

"Yeah yeah" Sasuke's sassy comeback was interrupted by a yawn.

"How was" Iruka did Kakashi's own miming of 'Horse' to him. "This supposed to be a horse? Have you ever seen a horse?"

"I may have."

"Where do you find a horse that has six legs?"

"Places….."

"What places!"

"You know."

"No! I do not!"

"What is he yelling about?" Rōzu came back into the living room.

"He's never seen a horse apparently."

"NO YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN A HORSE!"

"A four or six legged one?"

"Four! Wait, no no no, there are no horses with six legs!"

"We just put the kids to bed" Mikoto was also back. "Please stop yelling about horse breeds."

"No, you are not in on this too!" Iruka was apparently adrift in a sea of people who didn't know what horses were.

"Don't worry about it" Rōzu pat him on the back. "I was real fucked up when I saw a horse with six legs too."

"Everyone just stop talking to me about this and hand me a drink please."

To avoid any of them irritating Iruka to the point of him yelling and waking the kids up, the executive decision to drink in the backyard was made. This was something none of them enjoyed, but for the sake of how loud they were, it was required.

"I mean really, who does that!" Mikoto was going through her qualms with the masked man who, among other things, apparently didn't keep hand sanitizer on his person. "Like, kidnapping me and my son, sure I get it, it's a risk I've been aware of, but living like that? What if a dog licks your hands but your face gets itchy? You cannot just itch your face with dog hands!"

"Wow, that is fucked up" Rōzu had said that about every single grievance she had listed. "Like, I will for sure bring that up if I see him again."

"You think he's still alive?"

"I mean, given the vague facts it's not impossible?"

"That's the newest issue I have with him then! People should die when they are killed!"

"You are so right queen."

"Thank you, that means so much to me right now" Mikoto began to cry while taking another drink.

"You know maybe" Iruka stealthily took the four other bottles by her. "You should slow down with all these?"

"Why?"

"Just a thought?"

"Well I have a different thought."

"Is it the ho-"

"What kind of teacher has never seen a horse?"

"Of course it's that" Iruka went and sat back with Kakashi.

"Oh perfect" Kakashi grabbed one of the confiscated bottles and popped it open.

"Am I the only one here drinking responsibly?"

"You cannot say that after chugging three drinks and vomiting."

Unable to come up with a retort, Iruka just frowned and looked away. He had wanted to look cool and tried to drink all three of the drinks they'd handed to him before. It ended badly.

"Stop pouting and eat more crackers" Kakashi shoved a cracked pack into his head.

"I can get my own crackers!" he had difficulty saying this around the crackers that wanted very badly to go into his mouth.

"Oh is this a new game?" Rōzu, taking a break from 'Yes queen'ing Mikoto had looked over at the commotion.

"No!"

"Yeah."

"Kakashi didn't vomit so I'll trust him."

"That is so unfair!" Iruka wasn't an alcoholic, apparently unlike his two friends.

"Fine, Kakashi didn't read my personal birthday card."

"You said I could! And that you weren't mad about it!"

"I did say both those things, but I can still be annoyed about it" they punctuated that by tossing a cracker at his forehead. "Damn wait, complain some more."

"These are valid compla-" he was cut off by a cracker being thrown into his mouth. If he wasn't incredibly angry about that, he would have admitted it was an impressive throw.

"Oh let me try!" Mikoto had paused in her rambling and saw what was happening. She also had shockingly good cracker aim.

Unable to use words to tell them to stop, Iruka began furiously pointing and miming at them. Kakashi took it upon himself to interpret this.

"He saying, something about a bird? No no, it's a giraffe. He's never seen a giraffe? Oh no sorry he's definitely seen a giraffe."

"NO THAT IS N-" he fell for the trick as more crackers flew into his mouth.

The laughter the two broke out into only added further insult to injury. If the situation were any different maybe he'd just try and be the bigger person, but not then. Tearing open his own pack of crackers he returned fire.

"Oh you think this is a three player game?" Rōzu said this while covering their mouth.

The following battle ended soon after it started. Iruka was trying to face the two of them down alone, Kakashi stayed out of it. Unable to match the sheer volume of their attacks, Iruka fell. Not literally, it was just crackers, but he did give up first.

"Ha another win for team Milf!" Rōzu apparently had made a team name for themself and Mikoto.

"I'm sorry, team what?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah! You heard them!" Mikoto either agreed with their choice of team name, or was just in it for the sake of yelling.

"I feel like that is not an appropriate team name!"

"Well that's why I didn't say it when we played charades with the children."

"Yea well we over on team hot and sexy singles in your area" Kakashi decided to join in on this argument for some reason. "Welcome all hot people and not just mothers."

The two of them had a huddle. Iruka felt the need to have a huddle as well, but didn't have anything to say during it.

"We've come to a decision, Kakashi, you can be a milf if you want" Mikoto pointed an empty bottle at him like a scepter.

"Sorry Iruka, I've always wanted to be a milf, and you kind of suck at charades."

He couldn't believe this outrage. He'd been abandoned on the team Kakashi came up with! Now he was the lone hot and sexy single in their area.

"Can I be a milf too?" he picked up a drink to prepare to forget having ever said that.

"Milf huddle" the three of them formed another huddle.

"You may, but only for tonight."

"Thank you."

He, slowly this time, drank from one of the wine bottles. Even with all four of them sitting together the night was still very cold. His shivers didn't go unnoticed.

"Put this on" Rōzu threw their coat onto him. "Can't have our temp milf freezing to death."

"I think you're going to need it more than me" Iruka gestured to the t-shirt they had on.

"I'm from the land of snow, a place that has one season, I'm fine."

"Your coat also doesn't really fit me" he could put his arms in the sleeves but not close it up.

"Oh this is just like on fun Friday! Oh man remember your outfit?"

"Nope."

"What come on, I know you do."

"No idea what you mean."

"It was like a fishnet shirt and skinny jeans."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"You made up some dumb lie about a house fire?"

"Doesn't sound like me."

"No Rōzu you've got it wrong, he had assless chaps on" Kakashi decided to get in the mix.

"I definitely did not."

"Now that he said it, I kinda remember seeing you in assless chaps."

"No you do not! I did not wear assless chaps!"

"I could see you as an assless chaps guy" Mikoto gave him a slow look over.

"I should've tried my luck at Mizuki's party."

"Oh god yes! I wanna see you do one of your legendary keg stands!"

"He told you about that?"

"Oh boy did he!"

"Ok not to sound old" Mikoto held a hand out to stop any interruptions. "What is a keg stand?"

"I think Iruka can answer that."

"I sure uh" he hadn't figured that out yet. "Probably can."

"He doesn't know" Kakashi could smell his lack of knowledge like blood in the water.

"Really?"

"Why would I know!"

"I feel a lot better not knowing now."

"Iruka you just, do a handstand on a keg, and drink from it. It's a pretty simple concept."

"She didn't know either!" if he was going down he'd take someone with him.

"I have two kids, I haven't been to a party in like twelve years, what's your excuse?"

"I uh…. I apparently wasn't cool enough to get an invite to the faculty parties."

"I can see why" Mikoto gave him a look while sipping her drink.

"It's ok, for your birthday we can get a keg" Rōzu pat his back.

"I don't want a keg?"

"Too bad."

"Not to jump in and save Iruka's reputation" Kakashi was checking a clock. "But we've got about a minute before the fireworks start."

"Ah shit!" Rōzu drunkenly climbed up to the roof.

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"It's ten fifty nine."

"I know."

"Thank you."

"Come on you guys you'll miss them!" Rōzu called down at them.

"Well, at least their pretty cute to make up for being kinda dumb" Mikoto followed them up.

"What their not, I mean, well" Iruka was mostly saying this to himself, but just forgot to not vocalize it.

"No their a lil dumb" Kakashi headed up as well.

"I didn't mean that, but like" he realized he was now alone and rambling. "Fine I guess we're all going to the roof with the cute idiot."

"Yeah!" Rōzu had apparently heard him say that.

Left with few options, and deciding it wasn't worth it to end his life just yet, Iruka went to the roof. The other three were laying down looking up at the sky, Kakashi had left a roughly Iruka sized space in between him and Rōzu. Preparing himself for some comment or another, he laid down in the space.

"Ah perfect, two heat" Rōzu pulled him and Mikoto closer.

"I thought you were fine with the cold."

"Hey."

"What?"

"Shut up."

Turning away from them to avoid being too close to their face, he came face to face with Kakashi. Who was also very close to him. He realized there was no avoiding them both, and just looked directly up at the sky.

"Hey Kakashi?"

"Yep?"

"What time is it?"

"Who can say?"

"If I wasn't very comfy right now, I would perform a violence onto you."

"As if you could."

"Oh wipe that smug look I assume is on your face off."

"No, I don't think I will."

"Then I'll do it for you!" they started smacking over at him.

"Hey can you not" Iruka didn't enjoy them slapping his face with an arm to try and hit Kakashi.

"I sure could" they didn't stop."

Thankfully they did give up on that after a few minutes. Iruka was just trying to ride out the hour of being on the roof, so he ignored any subsequent outbursts. He was sure both sides were trying to get to him after the third one, but he held strong.

"Kakashi how much longer" Rōzu had said this fairly often.

"I dunno, five minutes tops" he'd replied with that everytime.

By some luck, or maybe Kakashi actually had been tracking the time somehow, the fireworks did start in five minutes. He'd made it through another year, a hand full of close calls aside, it was a pretty good year.

"Happy new year!" Rōzu cupped their hands around their mouth to yell a bit louder at the fireworks.

"You know" Kakashi sat up to look over at them all. "I hear it's good luck to start the year off with a kiss."

"Oh really?" the tone Rōzu used let Iruka know this was something the two of them had rehearsed beforehand. "Is that one of your fancy Konoha traditions I, a foreigner, wouldn't know?'

"I think it is."

"Well given the last year, I think some extra good luck couldn't hurt right Kakashi?"

"I agree, if only there was some way we all could get a new years kiss."

"It sure soun-" Iruka tried to see himself out of this situation, but was cut off.

"I know how" Mikoto pulled Rōzu over to face her.

"Oh" they had apparently not expected that.

"Oh" Iruka wasn't prepared for the sting of jealousy he felt over a kiss he wasn't even sure he wanted.

"Well you've got Kakashi over there" Mikoto waved a hand over at the two of them.

The jealousy he felt subsided as he looked back to Kakashi. He was fiddling with his mask. He stomach knotted as he was overtaken by how nervous he felt.

"I can go a year without some good luck if you'd rather not?"

"No it's just, I haven't really done this much you know."

"Yeah, we really gotta get you to try eel."

"Oh shut up" Iruka awkwardly pulled him down, hoping he'd take the mask off in time.

Even if it wasn't the world's most perfect kiss, and even if part of him was focused on another kiss that didn't happen, Iruka felt his nerves subside. The world around him felt like it came to a halt, maybe there was some merit to that tradition Kakashi mentioned. When they broke apart and he opened his eyes Kakashi's face was covered once again.

"Mango again?" with that moment of peace over, Iruka chose violence.

"Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah it is."