AN: Ba bam! February is over, the fic I meant to finish is not done, but I instead wrote this (And a whole new fic oops) up for today! It is, pretty fucking long because I would get almost done it, and then say "But what if I added this? Is this funny? Sure it is." But anyways! Expected regular updates and thanks for reading!

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The years had been, not unkind to Iruka, but calling them kinda was a bit of stretch. The first of many, many, things he really hated was his next birthday. Like a fool, he'd forgotten the vague threat leveled at him by Rōzu at new years.

"There he is!" Mizuki kicked his door in, pulling a cart behind him. "The man, the myth, the legend!"

"Oh no" he saw the kegs in the cart.

"Oh yea" Rōzu gave him a pat on the back, having waited almost half a year for this pay off.

Having suffered through an evening he thought was going to be a good time with his close friends, Iruka made a decision. This was a game for two players. Having a good idea of when they'd get to work thanks to the Kushina fiasco, he got there before them.

"Is something the matter Iruka?" the Hokage was already there as well.

"Oh no sir, just leaving a note for Rōzu" he had prepared a note ahead of time.

"Alright, oh and I saw your requests for more active duty, do you think Mizuki can handle teaching some days alone?"

"Uh" he had flashbacks to his fellow teacher doing a kegstand in his house. "Yeah probably?"

"Good enough for me" with that he headed into his office, leaving Iruka alone.

Not wasting any time he put out the note and hid a whoopee cushion on the chair. He felt it was only fair to start small as a warning to them. Given how often he'd tried to avoid seeing them during student pickup, it was strange for him to wait in excitement for them to arrive. To his horror, they didn't.

"Yeah my mom was feeling really sick" Naruto was instead heading home with Sasuke. "So we had Mizuki call his mom and make sure it was ok for me to go home with him."

"That's wow" he remembered the temp secretary, and how he'd left a note that strongly implied he'd been the one to do it. "So great of Mikoto to help them so they can recover."

It was a few days before he saw Rōzu again; he'd done his best to avoid being out in public in case the temp secretary he'd pranked, in probably the most childish way possible, was out for blood. They took one look at him before laughing in his face.

"I'm sorry you just look so guilty, like did you not even try to check if Naruto was lying?"

"What?"

"Yeah I wasn't sick I've just been fucking with you since you left a note and a whoopee cushion at my desk."

"But, but how?"

"Duh I called Mikoto and asked her to get the kids, and told her to tell Naruto to tell you that I was sick. If I'd known how bad you felt I would've come clean sooner."

He took a deep breath. He'd been bamboozled. The kid gloves were officially off. Knowing Naruto would be able to tip them off, he bribed a child.

"You get one of these" he handed over an IOU. "Per prank, you can use it whenever and I will honor it."

"Now, are you sure you're not taking this too far?" Naruto had already pocketed the IOU. "Because even I am willing to admit it's a terrible idea for you to give me this."

"Naruto, one day when you're older, you'll understand."

"I don't think I will."

With the Naruto variable removed, he put his newest plan into motion. Getting them at work had too many variables, too many chances for it to backfire on him. Using a talk about Naruto's schoolwork as a cover, he set it up in their home.

"Hm he has been using clones to do his school work" Rōzu's lack of understanding about what being a student entailed made this a pretty easy in. "But like, I thought he'd still at least ask me for help if he was failing."

"He is a smart kid so I'm sure asking for help isn't something he wants to do."

"Hm, is something up? I know we've talked about his strengths before but I don't think you've ever called him smart."

"He learned a B-rank jutsu at the age of seven, so like, he is technically smart."

"That is true, ok, carry on."

He discreetly sighed, the jig was almost up but he'd salvaged it. He waited til they headed into the bathroom before quickly sneaking into their bedroom. Wanting it to go off in the morning he set it up in the closet.

With the trap laid and his supply of fake school things to talk about almost dried up, he made an excuse and headed home. Once again he snuck over in the morning to hear the fruits of his labor. It was only moments before that he realized maybe all the other people in the building would have issues with it as well. That line of thought was cut short as a massively loud airhorn blasted off.

"FUCK" the sound of Rōzu yelling and loudly triyng to break the airhorn meant it was time for him to make his escape.

He waited for a retaliation of some kind, but after a full week without one it seemed like he'd be getting away with it scott free. He'd never been more wrong.

It was a fairly normal Monday as the kids were all picked up, Naruto was the last one waiting. He and Mizuki were chatting while Naruto got in some target practice.

"Oh my gosh I'm sorry late!" Rōzu came over to both of them first.

"No worries, I'll go grab Naruto so he doesn't accidentally throw a kunai at you" Iruka felt something off in the air, he didn't like it.

"Oh you're so sweet" before he could fully react, they pulled him in quickly and kissed his cheek right in front of Mizuki. It was as they pulled away he noticed the very bright lipstick they had on.

The fallout of that one moment ruined his entire month. The nonstop looks and gossip from Mizuki made him consider giving up and letting them have the last laugh, but he'd already made his bed. This time he decided to play the waiting game, planning his next prank for Kakashi's birthday.

"Hey thanks for hosting this" Kakashi was woefully ignorant of the events that would come to pass. "I usually just sit alone in my house drinking in the dark, but this takes a solid second place so far."

"I'm sure a night with your best buds, and some of their children, can easily beat that out."

"We'll see."

Iruka had actually put in the effort to throw him a nice birthday party so he was hoping Kakashi would have a good time. Well, before events began to unfold.

"I can't say I'm surprised you didn't get eel" Rōzu came over to where he was preparing some food for the table.

"Listen, he didn't specifically request eel so I didn't get it."

"Mhm sure that's what they all say."

"Can you just" he handed them a platter of various sushi rolls. "Take this over to the table and sit down so I can try and get everyone else to do the same."

"What I don't wanna sit first I'll look like a loser sitting down all alone!"

"It's not that big of a deal!" his plan literally hinged upon them doing that.

"Ugh fine" they gave him an exaggerated look and went over to the table.

He discreetly watched out of a mirror he'd recently put up. They didn't notice the table wobble as the platter was put down and did sit down like he'd asked them to. Unfortunately when they put their arms on the table to give him another more annoyed look that was enough to tip it all over.

"No one say anything" they were now under part of a table and covered in sushi.

"You broke my table!" he'd rehearsed this line to make sure it sounded very sincere.

"No I did not! I leaned on it!"

"Which broke it!"

"I am not arguing with you about this shitty table while I'm covered in sushi" they tossed the piece off themself and got up. Their casual attempts to wipe the sushi stuck onto them quickly turned into furious swipes as it did not come off. "DID YOU BUY SUSHI COVERED IN GLUE?"

"Calm down" he went over to "help" them get free of the sushi. "You bust my table and then start freaking out."

"YES THIS SUCKS!"

"It could be worse?"

"HOW!" they were now pulling at one of the rolls.

"I dunno? But I'm sure it could."

"You know what, you're right, I'm just gonna go home and throw these clothes out. I had a lovely time at this party, please do not try and throw me one ever."

"Oh don't do that" Mikoto came over to help as well. "Our place is closer and I'm sure I've got something that'll fit you."

"Fine, we'll be back, everyone be careful with Iruka's crappy furniture."

As the two left Iruka causally slipped Naruto another IOU. He felt a little bad about having them knock glue covered sushi onto themself, but he was absolutely not coming clean about it anytime soon.

"So far this has been a little better than crying alone in the dark."

"I thought you said drinking?"

"Eh same thing."

For the following few months he made sure to lock his house up tight and would look over his shoulder constantly. His pranks were one and done, but so far everything they'd done in retaliation had had lasting consequences to him.

"Hello?" Rōzu's voice at the door put him on edge, if this was the long coming payback he was due, he'd made his peace and was ready to go out.

"Hello?" he opened the door, discreetly scanning the street behind them for Mizuki.

"Oh cool, I wasn't sure if you were home since all your blinds are drawn" they pulled out a card. "This is for you, warning, there will be eel at this party, but I hope you'll still come."

"Uh" he looked down at the invite for their own party. "I see you decided to take matters into your own hands."

"Well last year I was very let down to not get a secret base from any of my dear friends; but apparently everyone's getting a party this year, so I am too."

"I'll be there then" he felt hopeful to have actually gotten away with one of the pranks finally.

"Thanks, I know we've had uh, a rough year with our, uh, relationship? I'm also a little sorry about the whole kiss thing."

"Oh, don't um, don't worry about it" the apology caught him off guard, it sounded too sincere to be bait for something else. "I'm sure he would've invented his own event to ruthlessly gossip about even if you hadn't done that."

"Alright then um, I'll see you later."

He looked down at the card now that they were gone. The low level of guilt he'd felt about the sushi fiasco had just grown exponentially. He'd been so caught up in this prank war to realize he was an adult that shouldn't be doing things like this. Trying to alleviate that guilt he bought them some flowers for the party.

"Oh wow" Rōzu looked at the bouquet. "I mean, they're a little on the nose dontcha think?"

"I uh" Iruka wasn't really a flower expert, and assumed roses were a good go to. "Just kinda think they're nice?"

"I'll let it slide since I like them" they brought them over to the kitchen. "Don't feel bad if you see them dead in like three days though."

Without a big prank to spice it up the party maintained a solid level of calm. He was the first to head out since he had an early start the next day.

"But it's almost at the best part!" Naruto had paused the movie to protest him leaving.

"You've said that for literally every scene Naruto" Rōzu took the remote from him. "Go get your sleep before you big boy mission tomorrow."

"Don't call it that."

"Fine go get your sleep before your little boy mission tomorrow."

"Thanks that's so much better" he gave up on this losing battle and headed to the door.

"And feel free to take home any eel to try!"

"No."

Eelless and on his way home he turned to look back at the apartment building. He froze upon doing so, the expected casual light from the TV was missing, and instead there was an ominous green glow radiating out the window. Worried he went back to the door and listened in.

"Our attempts to turn the teacher have failed" a voice that sounded like Kakashi spoke up.

"His aversion to eel is proving very strong, we'll have to resort to other measures" Iruka felt very justified in his distrust of the eel hearing what he thought was Itachi say that.

"Don't worry, his relationship with our vessels will grant us ample opportunity to turn him, and then we will be able to spread throughout all the major clans."

He backed away from the door. He had been right! Rōzu was an alien trying to take control of the village! He tried to silently back away from the door to find someone to warn about this, but the floorboard let out a very loud creak as he did so.

"Someone is there" Rōzu's distorted voice came closer to the door.

As he heard the knob turn he took off running. If he was lucky Jiraya would be in the village and could help him, but he had to get to the Hokage's home first. He could hear someone chasing after him now, and turning around he saw Kakashi with one glowing green eye giving his chase.

"Cease your futile resistance" he was gaining on Iruka, even possessed by aliens Kakashi was faster than him.

"I KNEW IT WAS ALIENS!" he was still afraid, but the adrenalin and vindication he felt was negating that fear.

Knowing he couldn't win a direct race Iruka jumped down into the streets. Using alleys and various shortcuts he tried to confuse the alien Kakashi. After the twentieth turn he was certain he'd lost the alien and rushed to the Hokage's home as fast as he could.

"Iruka why are you banging on my door at this hour?" Hiruzen looked half asleep as he answered the door.

"Lord Hokage, sir" he tried to explain while still out of breath. "They're all aliens! Everyone! Kakashi, Rōzu, Itachi, even Naruto!"

"Iruka I thought I told you no mor-"

"Sir it's true! I heard them plotting and Kakashi chased me here! They're using eel to spread the possession so they can take over the village!"

"Oh Iruka" he put a hand on his shoulder. "You were better off ignorant to the truth."

"Wha-" he froze as the Hokage's eyes began to glow green as well.

"You cannot escape us now that you know the truth" Rōzu and the rest of the alien party were blocking off behind him.

"You must become one of us."

"One of us."

They all began to chant this at him while he fearfully looked between them all. As the alien Rōzu approached him, a piece of the alien eel on a fork he tried to shove them away. Alien Kakashi had snuck on him and held his arms to prevent him from fighting back. All he could do was watch in horror as they held open his mouth and fed him the eel.

"How does it taste? Your final meal before you become one with the hive?"

"It's firm yet also easy to chew" he knew he'd lost, he was going to become an alien too soon. "I don't love the taste, but it's still pretty good."

"See we told you god" Rōzu's eyes were now back to normal, as were everyone else's.

"WHAT!" he yelled and spit out the part of the eel he hadn't swallowed.

"Ew" they backed away and wiped the spit up eel off their shirt.

"YOU ALL WERE POSSESSED BY ALIEN EEL!"

"No, we all pretended to be possessed by alien eel to mess with you."

"WHY!"

"Because Naruto, my sweet baby boy, snitched on you."

"YOU DID?" Iruka was now pointing at the eight year old in question.

"Listen, the power of the IOUs was tempting, but mom said they'd teach me the water dragon jutsu if I fessed up" Naruto handed him back one of the IOUs.
"WHY WERE YOU ALL IN ON THIS?" he'd been schemed against on such a large scale.

"It was rude of you to glue sushi onto their shirt" Mikoto offered a shrug with her explanation.

"I thought it would be funny, and it was" Kakashi likewise offered a small shrug.

"But, you?" he turned to the leader of the leaf village.

"You and Jiraya destroyed part of my office and spent a half hour doing what again?"

"That was a year ago!"

"I'm an old man, I'm allowed to hold grudges."

"If I defect from the village, this is why!" Iruka had feared for his life, because his friends were pulling a prank on him.

"Look at it this way" Rōzu gave him a pat on the back. "There's no way your mission tomorrow is gonna be this scary."

"I don't wanna look at it that way, I'm choosing to look at it in the 'My friends are all jerks' way."

Fed up with everything that had happened to him, Iruka went home. He was glad his mission meant being out of the village for a few days, he was pretty sure he would attack Rōzu on sight.

Compared to the stress of the fake alien invasion, it was a cakewalk. He escorted a rather wealthy merchant to Sunakagure, and only two bandit groups tried to rob them. Between him and the other Chuunin on the mission, he was sure he knew this guy's name but had forgotten it, they had the merchant there untouched.

"Damn Iruka you've really gotten strong" the goatee bearing Chuunin was very impressed with his skills. "I didn't even have to help you fight those bandits."

"You didn't help?" Iruka felt like it was weird he admitted that.

"I was going to, but you dealt them way quicker than I expected."

"Oh well uh, I pretty much just train with Kakashi and compared to him those guys were really weak."

"Ah yeah that'll do it."

He was glad the conversation died naturally, and that when they reported in he finally learned Iwashi's name. He knew he'd seen the man with Genma before, but his name just didn't stick with Iruka.

He did his best to ignore Rōzu while leaving the Hokage's office. As far as he could tell, they tried their best to do the opposite of that.

"Oh wow I'm just so clumsy" they had literally fallen off their chair in front of him. "Oh my gosh hey Iruka I didn't even see you come in."

"I'm sure you didn't" he quickly stepped over them.

"Wait! I wanted to apologize again."

"No offense, I'd rather just not see you for a bit."

"Oh, uh, alright" they got back into their seat. "Sorry."

With that situation tactfully dealt with, he headed home. He knew there would probably be another New Years party held by his friends so he couldn't actually avoid them forever. With only two weeks before then he passed the time by just tagging along to various missions.

"You're really killing it man" Mizuki had been his partner for this most recent one. "Like, literally, I think you killed that guy."

"What, nah" Iruka had felt something break as he elbowed the man in the head, but chose to ignore that.

"Oh I see your game, playing it cool. People love that."

"No game, just tagging along and helping out with missions."

"You sure? Literally everyone is talking about you."

"You don't count as everyone you know."

"First of all, I do. Secondly, other people, aside from me, are also talking about you. Even the goatee guy was talking about you!"

"Well I haven't heard any of this talk."

"Listen I'm not saying it's bad I'm just saying I'm aware of it. As I've always said as your best bro and wingman, you do you."

"You've never once said that."

"Regardless, since I'm in the know" he handed the mission file over to Iruka and winked. "I'll leave you to handle turning in the report."

"Why?" Iruka had a feeling he knew why.

"Oh you know" Mizuki just winked again before heading off.

Ditched with the report, he decided to do something he was pretty sure would get him into some trouble. It also scared the hell out of someone else who was turning in a report as he leapt into the office through the window.

"Not another one" the Hokage rubbed his forehead distressed.

"Just turning this in real fast" he dropped the file down and turned back towards the window.

"Please, use the door."

"I dunno it's just kinda faster this way."

"I insist."

Knowing he shouldn't directly disobey the Hokage, he did use the door.

"You're not Izumo?" Rōzu seemed confused seeing him exit the office.

"Wait shit I'm not" Iruka looked himself over in a panic.

"Oh man Kotetsu is gonna be so heartbroken."

"Ok serious question" Iruka paused his avoidance policy and this bit. "Are they, you know?"

"I wanna say they are? But I'm not sure?"

"Second, less pressing question, is there gonna be a party this year?"

"I mean, Kakashi and Mikoto are out till next year so, if you wanna watch Naruto and Sasuke with me, then yes?"

"Mikoto is on a mission?" he felt like he'd have heard if she was back on active duty.

"Yeah I wanna say it's the same one as Kakashi, but maybe they both just told me on the same day?"

"Oh uh" he had definitely missed hearing about that. "Gotcha."

"If you don't wanna do that I get it, and I know Mizuki is having a party again."

"I'll let you know" Iruka didn't really wanna enter the Mizuki non-stop party zone. He also wasn't sure watching Naruto and Sasuke would be an easier night.

"Alright!"

Given his very limited options and time he had put himself in a corner. On the one hand, dealing with Mizuki, on the other, dealing with two children and Rōzu.

"Man I am so hype you came this year" Mizuki had shown up at his house at midnight again. Iruka made him swear in exchange for this one party he would never do so again.

"I'm noticing that not only is every other teacher we work with here, but literally every Chuunin too."

"Yeah and?"

"I just don't really remember hearing about this party before last year."

"Man don't worry about it."

He did his best to not worry about it while partying with a lot of people he kind of knew. The drink options ranged from very strong drinks to somehow even stronger drinks, so he had half of one and decided that was enough. When it all got too much for him, he slipped outside to try and catch his breath without fifty people around him. He was surprised to not be the only one out here.

"Mizuki you left your own party?"

"Oh uh, yeah, it's a bit out of hand this year."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that" he'd always acted like a wild party animal.

"Yeah I know I know, it turns out this party train does have an end of the line. And uh, I'm sorry about not inviting you before last year, you were kind of a loser."

"That sure was an apology" Iruka wasn't going to disagree, but wasn't happy being called a loser. "But I definitely wouldn't have come so, no harm no foul."

"Yeah you really busted out of that loser shell, I'd almost consider you to be as cool as me now."

"Wow, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"So far."

"We've known each other for like ten years."

"So far."

"Sure" Iruka gave him a pat on the back.

"Also sorry, my streak of best wingman sorta flopped tonight, I cannot believe Rōzu didn't show up."

"They've got a kid, did you think they would ditch Naruto to come here?"

"Well of course not, that's why I invited Naruto too."

"I'm gonna forget that you said that."

"Appreciate it bro. I'm gonna head back in, feel free to slip away to one of your most legendary parties."

Iruka just waved to him as he went back in. He had considered sneaking off before, but was now expressly told he could. His house was pretty close by, and he didn't really care about missing the fireworks.

"Hello?" Rōzu had opened the door at his knock. He could see a movie playing behind them with Naruto and Sasuke asleep on the couch.

"Hey uh, is it too late to let you know about tonight?" he had, in fact, not done that.

"Well it's before midnight still, so technically no. Should I put you down as a no?"

"You can put me as a yes, unless I'm not allowed in?"

"If you wake up the kids I'll kick you out, but you can come in" they moved out of the way to let him through.

He headed inside. He was surprised to see the same movie from Rōzu's party playing, but assumed Naruto just really liked it. He took a seat over at the table to avoid disturbing them on the couch.

"See what a nice, not shitty, table does when you sit down?" they sat down at the table with him.

"I mean, give me a few minutes with a saw and I can fix that."

"You do that and you better prepare for all the people you know to get replaced by robots."

"I think I could handle robots."

"Oh getting an ego over there Mr. Hotshot?"

"I can't help that the people have a newfound respect for my skills."

"I'll make sure to invite the people to spectate our next training session."

"That's two versus one and it's not a fair fight so I think that would only help my reputation."

"I can take you one on one."

"It's also cheating if you stab me in the head with your bones."

"Ok now you're just being unfair and a sore loser."

He was too distracted by the still alive flowers he noticed in the windowsill to come up with a retort. Rōzu noticed him staring and followed his gaze.

"Naruto's actually got a pretty good green thumb so, he's been helping me keep them alive" they didn't look back over at him while talking. "Thanks again for them, I uh, kinda really like them."

"Not too on the nose?"

"It's funny when I say it, not when you use it to tease me."

"Oh you can't take what you dish out?"

"Fine I just won't thank you for a genuinely sweet gesture again."

"I mean you then, like three hours later, got everyone to act like they'd been possessed by aliens to mess with me."

"And I am very sorry for that."

"And I'm sorry about the sushi, I probably should've apologized for that months ago though."

"Uh yeah, it would've saved me all of the bribes I used to get everyone in on the alien scheme."

"You really wouldn't have gone through with that?"

"Well ok, maybe I would have, just to like a lesser extent."

Their conversation was interrupted by the fireworks being set off outside. He didn't think it'd gotten that late, but he also hadn't been keeping track of the time.

"Another year without a secret base" Rōzu dramatically sighed while shooting him a look.

"You say you want a secret base" Iruka had thought up a good comeback to this. "But if I make it I'd know where it is and then boom, it's not a secret."

"Damn that's, ok yeah you've made some good points."

"Thank you" he bowed a little.

He realized it was quite difficult to actually see most of the fireworks from the table so he went over by the window. Rōzu followed him over after a little bit.

"So how'd that fancy big village tradition treat you this year?" Iruka figured it'd be brought up sooner or later, and decided to just bite the bullet and be the one to bring it up.

"It was pretty good to little ol me, probably since it was a milf to milf kiss."

"You say that as if you forgot that Kakashi and I were honorary milfs."

"Wow I'm so glad I'm sober so I can remember hearing you say that."

"Can I give you an IOU to swear you to secrecy?"

"I'll pass on the IOU, but I think I can resist sharing."

"How kind of you."

He noticed them fiddling with their hands. It reminded him of how Kakashi would fiddle with his mask before taking it off.

"Do you wa-" he was cut off before even getting to fully ask the question.

"I do but uh" they put some space between the two of them. "I don't um, well, I've never actually, you know."

"Well I know you've eaten eel, and you've kissed me so."

"I've never actually dated someone, and at first I thought it'd be kinda easy since you seem like you like me too. If you don't I totally get that just for the record. I have since realized, I'm kinda a dick."

"You just figured that out?"

"I dunno, I try to aim for charming asshole typically, and I'm sure I've missed that mark."

"I mean I glued sushi to you and you just admitted to having feelings for me."

"Yeah mom always said I had a bad taste in guys."

"I'm sure Kakashi would take great offense to that."

"Oh are you gonna sick your boyfriend on me cause I made fun of you now?"

"He is not my boyfriend just because we've kissed twice."

"And for the record, what would make someone your partner then?"

"I don't really know" Iruka was definitely the wrong person for that question. "As the record shows, I've only recently eaten eel and never dated."

The last round of fireworks lit up the sky, brightly covering them both in a warm red glow. Not too sure what to do, Iruka reached over and grabbed one of their hands.

"So um, before the new years magic kiss window closes" Rōzu looked at him.

The final firework of the night went up, bathing the village in a strong red light. He looked back at them. His chest felt tight and he could hear his heartbeat. He leaned towards them, and their lips met his. The tightness is his chest relaxed, and as they both pulled away all he could hear was their breathing.

He'd had high hopes for the new year. Between all of his training and missions making Jonin before he turned twenty-one seemed pretty likely.

"Hey!" Rōzu found him on his way home after work. "Sorry the Hokage wanted to get this assigned out ASAP and I said I could run it to you."

"Oh" Iruka had been in the village for one whole day this week. "I guess I can handle it?"

"It's pretty high ranked but I don't think it'll be too bad" they handed him the mission file. "This ranch owner sends in a few a year and all of them are put as A rank."

"A rank?" he hadn't actually done any A rank missions before. "Isn't that a bit much for a solo mission?"

"No way, this guy just inflates the rank since he's paranoid about his special horses, nothing you can't handle!"

That did put him a little more at ease, and going through the file it didn't seem too bad. Guarding a few race horses couldn't attract that much danger.

"Alright then, I guess I'll head out right away."

"Good luck!" they gave his hand a quick squeeze before heading off.

Finding the ranch was surprisingly difficult. Rōzu had called the employer paranoid, but having his horse ranch miles deep in thick woodlands seemed excessive. The ranch itself was fairly small when he finally found it.

"There's always some bastard trying to sabotage my horses before the big races" the employer was giving him a quick tour of the place. "Make sure no one gets into their barn."

"Uh alright?" Iruka had spotted a good vantage point for the barn. "Is there anything I should be on the lookout for in particular?"

"Hm, I heard a bear the other night so try not get mauled by that."

"Right" he didn't mind an easy mission like this.

He set up a few tripwires to help cover the blindspots from his vantage point. The night passed and there wasn't a single soul that tried to get into the barn. He almost felt bad about getting paid for the job.

"Here give me a hand getting their wagon setup" the rancher had dragged something over to the barn.

"Sure?" Iruka at least wanted to do something for the job.

After securing a few ropes the wagon was ready. He waited for the rancher to come back out before leaving. To his great distress, he got a look at the horses.

"They've got" he couldn't look away from the three horses as they moved into the wagon. "Six legs."

"Yessir, all three of them are champions."

"That's" he'd have to apologize to Kakashi. "Wow."

Following that mission nothing really major happened in his work life. The next big disaster in his personal life was due to his own mistake.

"So" Mizuki, the only person he thought could be confided to about this particular issue, had heard him out. "You just described to me, like, the most ideal situation."

"How could this be ideal? In what world?"

"If you refuse to see how incredible the situation you've put yourself in actually is, then I refuse to help."

"What?"

"You're on your own man, you don't even need a wingman like me anymore" Mizuki looked like he was choking back tears as he left.

He'd put all his hope in Mizuki coming through for him. Time was running out, he barely had an hour left to try and think of a way out.

"I'll pack my things up, head to the ocean, and change my name."

Without anyone to stop him, he did start packing his things up. He was halfway through charting a course to the ocean when a knock broke his concentration. In a panic he realized something, his clocks were behind. His window to make it out of this unsacthed had just closed.

"Hey there.." Iruka opened the door, cursing internally seeing Kakashi there.

"Hey, you moving?" he could see the packed up bags scattered behind Iruka.

"What uh, nope."

"Uh huh, so, you ready to go?"

"I honestly thought you'd get here kinda late so not really."

"I'm hurt, what kind of guy would show up late for a date?"

"You."

"Ha, now you can't say that because I'm here on time."

"Oh hey Kakashi!" Rōzu had just rounded a corner and called out to them both. He could feel the situation start to crash down around him. "Whatcha doing here?"

"Well I was here to pick Iruka up for a date, given your current outfit though" he looked over their outfit, Rōzu was more dressed up than Iruka had expected. "Are you also here to do that?"

"In a strange turn of events, I am."

"Hm."

Iruka's mouth dried up as they both turned to look at him. He had put himself into this situation, and had no idea how to get out of it.

"So what was your date gonna be?"

"Picnic, yours?"

"Movie and then dinner."

"Oh nice."

"Yeah, I think there's probably still tickets open for it?"

"I haven't seen any new movies in awhile."

Iruka, who still hadn't said anything, froze. Were they working this out? Did the situation resolve itself?

"Are you two" he wanted to check and be safe. "You're both cool with this?"

"I mean, I don't really mind?" Rōzu gave a small shrug. "We already spend most of our time together."

"Yeah, it'll save me the trouble of trying to discreetly place a dinner reservation during the movie."

"Oh" Iruka had really expected this to end a lot worse.

"Besides it'd ruin the night if we had to make you choose, and then hunt you down while you try to flee the state."

"I would not" he closed the door to hide his plans to flee the state. "Do that. Specifically choose but also flee the state."

"Sure you wouldn't" Rōzu grabbed one of his hands.

He offered his free hand to Kakashi.

"We really shouldn't hold hands and walk to the theater" he said this while accepting the held out hand.

Iruka wasn't sure if what they had was a relationship in a traditional sense. He also didn't really care. Amidst the regular chaos of his life, he enjoyed being with the two of them when they could all find the time. Before he knew it the years had come and gone, he and Mizuki had a week to make selections for Rookie and Kuniochi of the year before the final exam and graduation.