AN: so uh whoops! I meant to get this up like Tuesday/Wednesday but instead wrote like 7 pages of some stuff that is not gonna be posted for at least a while if ever? have this now tho!
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"So" the Hokage had just finished reading over the mission report from Team Seven. He looked over the six people gathered in his office. "Given everything you put down on this paper, you want the two of them to be members of the village?"
"Now I know the report mentions Zabuza trying to cut me in half" Kakashi took point on this. "But if you remember Naruto's portion of it, he is also a big softie on the inside."
"I do, and Naruto you based this on what you learned about him from Haku?"
"Exactly."
"Someone who, to quote another part of the report, trapped you and Sasuke in a mirror ice prison and pelted you with attacks."
"Attacks kind of gives a negative implication, I believe I used the words 'friendship in the form of ice needles' in the report."
"You did."
"I kinda get it we can just go if that's easier" Zabuza had his doubts about this whole idea from the get go.
"Well do you really want to join the leaf village?" Hiruzen found that to be fairly hard to believe given everything he'd heard about the man.
"If I'm totally honest, not really, but being on the run all the time starts to get to you. I don't think the Mist is gonna be too keen on me coming back either, and that's before I had Haku with me."
"Given the details about him in the report I can see why that could be an issue" he looked over the document again. "But I did set a fairly low bar a few years back in terms of letting people join the village. If you are fine becoming a ninja here after a probationary period, it can be arranged."
"I uh" Zabuza seemed a little shocked by that. "Just me?"
"Given the report Haku could as well if he wants to?"
"If you are then I am too" Haku held onto his arm.
"That settles that then" the Hokage pulled out some more paper from his desk. "Kakashi you know the drill."
A few moments of paper signing and filing later and the group left the office.
"That was a lot easier than I expected" Zabuza had come prepared to try and strike a deal of some kind.
"I told you the old man wouldn't have any issues with it" Naruto felt very good about being right. "And you guys can be my neighbors! People vacate that place like every other week."
"Why do they vacate it so often?" Haku felt like there was a reason related to Naruto.
"Wait a second" Rōzu's voice came down the nearby hallway. "That guy didn't work here."
"Oh shit we gotta move" Kakashi started pushing them for the door out of the building.
"OH YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" They rounded the corner and pointed at the group.
"Naruto! Distract!" Kakashi threw him back towards Rōzu as he went for the door.
"Mom look I made a friend!" he gestured to Haku.
"Aw how sweet" they fell for Kakashi's distraction and paid attention to Naruto.
"This is your mom?"
"Yup!"
"Sorry you just look very young to be his mom."
"Aw thanks kid, it's true but I like to hear it."
"I'm gonna show Haku and his" Naruto looked over to Zabuza. "Frie-"
"Father."
"Father, around the village."
"Well alright, I'm still on the clock, I also expect to hear about this mission later today" they ruffled his hair. "Preferably before I hunt down Kakashi to know just how mad at him I should be."
"You got it!"
With that parental interaction over, the rest of the group left the Hokage tower. Naruto had written down a list of important sights to see on the way back to the village.
"I think I'll actually just head home" Sakura had her own family to see, and had also seen that his list consisted of four places. "Good luck settling in!"
"Thanks!"
"Ok first stop, the Hokage monument!" Naruto turned and pointed at the carved mountain.
"Are we going to it or just looking at it?" Zabuza had already seen it during most of their time in the village.
"Uh, well, we could go on top of it? Sasuke do you wanna stick around for the tour to speed it up?"
"Hm I could."
"Will you."
"Maybe."
"What is it you want."
"You know what it is."
"I am not giving you the bulbasaur card."
"Then I'm also going home, have fun on the tour" Sasuke gave the other two a wave before leaving.
"Do you two wanna go up on it?" Naruto had planned this tour with Sasuke's help in mind. "It's only like a twenty minute walk."
"It would be a nice way to check this place out, we do need to find a hotel" Zabuza thought it over.
"Again, the apartment right next to mine is open."
"Yeah a hotel definitely sounds like a plan."
"Well uh" Haku decided to lead this back on the tour path. "Lead the way?"
"Right!"
One short walk later and they were looking out across the village. Naruto did his best to point out places that were too far away to really be seen.
"And that's my dead dad's head" the path he used left Minato's part of the monument in view.
"Is there a second smaller part to that monument or do you mean the one Hokage?" Zabuza could recognize the Yellow Flash even in stone form.
"I mean the one Hokage."
"Right."
"It's true."
"I'm sure it is."
"So what's the next stop?" Haku cut this argument off before it got out of hand.
"Oh right! Follow me!"
Due to some poor planning and a lack of Sasuke, getting to the next stop took a bit longer than planned. Unknown to Naruto it meant they made it there a few minutes after another group left.
"This is where I saw Gai punch a rock apart" he pointed where the rock used to be. "It's um, you know maybe this wasn't great for the tour."
"You said some guy punched a rock here?"
"No Gai."
"Guy?"
"Gai."
"Guy?" Zabuza was having just enough trouble understanding him.
"No Gai, Might Gai."
"Should I know what a might guy is?" He turned to Haku for backup.
"Is someone here named Guy Naruto?"
"Yeah his name is Might Gai."
"You're kidding me."
"Nope, he's a very real guy who I train with sometimes."
"And he just punches rocks here?"
"Well no this is one of the training grounds, there's other ones nearby too."
"That's actually pretty good to know" Zabuza made a note of this spot.
"Two places left right?" Haku had accepted the role of pushing the tour forward.
"Yeah come on!"
The third stop was pretty close to the training grounds. As they arrived Zabuza sighed.
"Let me guess, this is a lovely apartment building that just so happens to have a vacancy."
"Well someone read my tour notes, but it's also where I live."
"No offense kid, but given the general energy level I've seen from you and your mom I think it wouldn't be a good idea."
"Well first of all, offense taken."
They both waited for him to follow up on that with a second point. Naruto did not do so.
"Is there a second thing or?"
"No there isn't, come on one last spot and there is actually a hotel by it."
He'd saved the best for last, the place he considered the pinnacle of Konoha's culture. If they had any second thoughts about coming to the village, this would put them to rest.
"A ramen stall" Zabuza didn't sound too impressed.
"No, not a ramen stall, this is the ramen stall."
"Right" Haku tried to sound a little more upbeat about it.
"And since we all skipped lunch while on the move what better place to end the tour?"
"You know what, sure, I haven't had good ramen in years" Zabuza entered the stall.
"Oh Naruto your back!" Ayame came out from the back when she heard them come in. "With two new friends?"
"Yup!"
"Friends might be a bit much."
"Don't be mean" Haku sat down too. "He is my friend and helped us out."
"Wait" she pulled the menu away from Naruto. "You saw your mom before coming here right?"
"Of course I did!"
"Good, they were here literally everyday to get a bowl with fishcakes."
"Well that's a double standard I will be complaining about later" Naruto jotted down a note. "But first, one Naruto special please!"
"I think you come here too often if you've got a bowl named after you and a separate one you order" Zabuza was still looking over the menu.
"I think it's named after the topping and not him" Haku pointed at the picture in his menu.
"Technically it's both since I was named after topping" Naruto had learned then when Kushina had possessed Rōzu.
"Uh huh" the two of them let that conversation die out, not wanting to learn how far the family love of ramen went.
"So what can I get you two?" Ayame came back out with Naruto's bowl, breaking the silence.
"Um" Haku scanned the menu faster. "Whatever you'd recommend?"
"Is a miso bowl fine?"
"Yes."
"And for you?"
"I'll just get a miso bowl too."
"Alrighty" she headed back with the order.
"So is there anything else we should know about the village?" Haku tried to avoid another awkward silence while they waited.
"Hm, if anyone tells you to steal a secret scroll from the Hokage, don't do that."
"Um, ok I think I can manage that."
"I'm not saying I'd blame you if you did cause like, they offer a solid reason for why you should do it."
"Are you talking from experience here?"
"What? No way, I would never do that."
"I don't really care if you did, we were criminals."
"Ok yeah me and Sasuke did."
"So you robbed the Hokage, but still were certain he'd take your word about us being fine?" Zabuza was having a hard time following this.
"I also apologized for robbing him."
"Who'd you apologize for robbing?" Iruka had stopped by Ichiraku after class and heard only that.
"The Hokage."
"Oh right, good."
"People in this village sure don't seem to care about things."
"No, I was there, it was just a big misunderstanding" he took a seat by Naruto. "Also um, hello? Are you two from out of town?"
"Yeah we're new here" Haku held out a hand for a shake. "I'm Haku and this is my father Zabuza. I take it you know Naruto?"
"Yeah I taught his academy class."
"And he dates my mom."
"Didn't think that needed to be shared if I'm honest, but it is also true."
"And Kakashi."
"And Kakashi?" Zabuza didn't know what that meant.
"He also dates Kakashi."
"Again, not exactly something you need to share with someone when I'm just meeting them Naruto."
"Figures you're over here" Rōzu entered the stall as well. "I'm guessing the tour ended here?"
"Yep."
"Did you ask either of them about a place they might want to eat Naruto?"
"What restaurant could compare to this?"
"Sorry about him" they put him into a headlock while apologizing. "He rejects the idea of other food existing."
"I can let it slide, I did try and kill him and his buddies a week or so ago" Zabuza said this without fully thinking it through.
"Oh" Rōzu let Naruto go and turned their attention to him. "So you're that sword guy."
"Uh" he could feel the sudden wave of animosity coming his way.
"Wait I can explain" Naruto moved between them. "We're cool now."
"Super cool, like ice cool even" Zabuza was quick to back him up on that claim.
"Oh really."
"I think we could all just sit down" Iruka tried to pull them towards a stool. "And maybe hear Naruto's explanation?"
"Fine" they kept their gaze on Zabuza and sat down.
"So it all started when we uh" he tried to think of the best way to explain everything and not further incriminate Zabuza. "Got to the land of waves. Yup, nothing happened before then."
"Nothing?"
"Not a single relevant thing nope. Kakashi just got a real bad, uh, cold. Yeah, a cold."
