It's a miserable Tuesday when Kim sees the box, sitting so innocently on her dresser. It's sitting neat, aligned perfectly with everything else that's on the dresser and Kim's almost tricked into believing it belongs there.

It doesn't, of course.

Kim doesn't own any jewelry which has a small, burgundy box as a casing for it; any of her items which is fancy enough for a box is a plain black or white box. And it was most definitely not there yesterday, when she went to sleep.

There's no doubt about it. Not only does Kim know her belongings, but she knows the order of everything. It's something she's rather anal about, everything having it's place, everything being in it's place. She immediately knows if something is off- and the small, burgundy box sitting on her dresser is off.

Still, she finds herself doubting, thinking back to the previous night. Was it there? Did she reorganise things? Is it hers? It's completely irrational, but it's what her mind is doing.

It's what her mind always does, when an item that's not hers randomly appears amongst her belongings. Normally, it's even more irrational; the item usually being weirdly placed and in an area it decidedly does not belong- a sock in the kitchen, or cookbook in the bathroom, not like this. Not like a jewelry box on her dresser, a place she'd put such a thing, if it was hers.

That's not why she's doing this now, however. It's not just because it looks like it belongs even though it decidedly does not, but because there's only one thing that could be in that box. It's small and square, a ring box with no doubt, and with a case that fancy, it can only be one kind of ring- an engagement ring.

That's a thought, a realisation, that threatens to steal Kim's breath, to send her overwhelm her with panic, to stab a sharp blade right into her heart and shatter it in a way Kim never wanted it to be shattered. So her mind rakes the previous day's events, trying to come up with some reason, any reason, why this box is here and if it's hers.

Maybe it's her Nonna's, a ring Kim inherited, is a thought that she has. It's only brief, quickly shot down by the voice in her head, reminding her that box is a deep navy blue, with the designer's name embossed in gold.

Kim approaches the box with trepidation, edging closer slowly, bordering on being a nervous wreck. It's not a usual kind of fear, this trepidation, nor a usual kind of anxiety.

The ring poses no threat to her- not physically, at least- and it's not a danger to her. It's a ring. And yet it's the scariest thing she's ever faced and she's overwhelmed with this trepidation, this fear. This unwillingness to be near it, an anxiety about touching it, opening it, seeing the engagement ring sitting neatly inside.

Because once she does, that's it. Game over. Do not pass go. The finish line.

Because once she does, once she opens it, she can't go back. She can never go back, and she'll never be the same.

Opening it up, confirming what she already knows, that it's an engagement ring, that it's not hers, it will steal her future, change how she sees her past, present and future in one swoop and she'll never get it back.

The box, Kim thinks as she picks it up, is quite like Pandora's. A box better left alone, untouched and unopened, to keep the world sinless. Kim had always rolled her eyes at Pandora, for opening the box when being told explicitly not too.

But just like Pandora, when faced with a box she really, really shouldn't open, Kim opens it- and this time, there'll be no hope left at the bottom.

The box has a nice feel to it, it sits neatly in the palm of her hand. Kim's not one for wearing too much jewelry at a time, simple and classy is her, but she's always loved the feel of boxes like this, liked the excitement which bubbles inside her- even when it's just something she brought herself. And for a moment, a brief, tiny moment, when she picks up the box, she feels that excitement. Her mind, her thoughts, her imagination is whisked off, into a parallel world where this box is hers, the ring is for her, and she's about to get her dream, is about to be engaged to a man she loves.

It's only a brief moment, and as quickly as it came, it goes and Kim's stomach plummets once again because no matter how much she wishes it was- this ring is not hers, the excitement upon holding it is not a feeling that belongs to her.

A part of her just wants to leave this alone, to not open it or touch it, but she knows she has to, that she has to confirm what she already knows, has to see it with her own two eyes otherwise she'll be consumed by it.

She'll be consumed by it anyway, filled with a heartache only something like this could cause, but that's unavoidable, and- Kim hopes- easier to deal with in the future, and that the way she'd be consumed if she doesn't open it, that would be something that she might not recover from, that she'd be forever frozen with the what ifs. She needs to know, without doubt, that this is what she thinks it is, that she won't be swept away in a tide of heartache without the certainty of confirmation as a lifeboat.

The box opens with a sharp snap.

The ring is beautiful. Simple, but ever so pretty, the morning light reflecting off the diamond.

It's not the style of ring Kim, herself, would ever want, but it still takes her breath away, a pain stabbing her in the heart. She gasps slightly, even though she knew this would be inside, her hand not holding the box laying over her heart as the pain and aches ricochet throughout it.

Kim is sure in the long run having this certainty, looking upon this ring, this beautiful engagement ring, and knowing what it is, will be better for her, but in the present, now, as her heart feels like it's in pieces, a sharp pain stabbing into it, she regrets ever looking upon this box.

This box which contains an engagement ring. This box that means only one thing- her soulmate is getting engaged, and it's not to her.

There's times Kim hems and haws about whether or not she wants to meet her soulmate, whether or not she wants to have a relationship, a future with the man the universe has deemed hers. There's pros, of course, and the knowledge that the two of you were fated and all that romantic stuff but there's the cons, the cons that just because the universe picked them out doesn't mean they won't hurt you. But in this moment, Kim's feelings, whatever her stance on soulmates, on her soulmate, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't stop the pain that tears at her heart, ripping it in half. It doesn't stop the air feeling like it's been stolen from her, that a rug has been pulled from underneath her.

Because all she can think is that her soulmate is with another woman, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with that woman- not her, not Kim.

Kim's not stupid. She knows her soulmate is most likely with other women. She's been with other men, and she's tried to make the relationships work. As her life partners, not as someone to pass the time until she meets her soulmate. And she knows he's probably doing the same- and god, she's known for years that he's dated other women, if the amount of women's items that aren't hers which have turned up is any indication.

But there's knowing that, and seeing this ring, seeing evidence of it.

Seeing evidence that her soulmate has shrugged his shoulders and threw away any thought of finding her, has decided that this other woman, the woman the ring is for, is infinitely better than his soulmate- Kim- is.

Kim has not been actively looking for her soulmate. She doesn't carefully inspect the items she finds, trying to see if she's seen it before. If anything, she's been trying her best not to think about him, about who he could be and where she'd meet him. Love has not been kind to her, and soulmates are not immune from hurting each other, no matter what hallmark movies try to push.

But still, the knowledge that he- this person who's apparently her perfect match- has given up on her, has turned his back on her before even meeting her, it's a knowledge too painful to bear.

It consumes her, exactly how she predicted, but so much worse. It's not a tide of pain that sweeps her away but a tsunami, a tidal wave of strength and power, the current too fierce to fight off.

It's too much, a sharp agonising pain. Everyone says getting your heart broken by your soulmate is the worst pain you could ever have, and one that is unlike anything else. It's why soulmate arguments can be so volatile, and dangerous, since any act of hurt or betrayal on your soulmates half stabs that pain into your heart.

Some people aren't believers in how the pain can feel until they feel it. Kim's not, she saw her mom's pain, the way her normally ever so composed mother wept after everything with her father went down. And she had hoped she'd never have to feel it, not in such an extreme way.

The ring, and the stupid burgundy box it sits in, is the cause of her pain, and it almost feels like fire, sitting in the palm of her hand. It's overwhelming, the feeling, the need, to get rid of it, to never lay her eyes upon it again.

Kim's moving without thinking, closing the lid of the box and spinning around, eyes firmly shut closed. And then she's throwing it, lobbing it across the room in a random direction she does not know. She stays still for a few seconds, eyes still firmly shut closed. And then she opens them again, and resists looking around the room, trying to find where it landed- it needs to be gone, to be back with her soulmate, and for that to happen, it needs to be lost.

Kim feels almost lost herself. She'd have hoped that getting that ring out of her hands would make her feel slightly better- that whole out of sight, out of mind bullshit- but it doesn't. Instead, it almost makes her feel worse, sick to her stomach, as now there's nothing stopping her soulmate from proposing, the ring is back in his possession, ready for him to get down on one knee to a woman who's not her.

She's glad she lives alone, because she would not know where to start on how she feels right now. So lost, so unsure. She finds herself wryly thinking that it'll just be her luck to feel lost, to loose herself, and end up beside her soulmate, ready for him to find. To have him meet her, know who she is, and to have him look her in the eye and tell her she's not right for him, not good enough for him, that he's found someone who's more perfect for him than the other piece of his soul.

This is something Kim has always thought would happen. Not like this, not even her mind would come up with something so heartbreaking, but Kim's always had this thought, lurking in the back of her mind, that her soulmate wouldn't want in her.

As her mother so aptly put once; who could ever love her? Everyone knows that when it's true, when the love is pure, like how the universe intended when it made soulmates, that the relationship, the connection shared between two soulmates is the most deep, captivating and fulfilling one you'll ever have. Kim can only dream, try and picture what that will feel like and she knows she could never get close without actually feeling it but if it's even slightly like how she imagines, she knows her mother is right. Who could ever love Kim like that, with that much intensity.

This has always been in her mind, the first seeds growing from when she was five and her mother was crying and she had looked over at Kim and snapped "just wait until this is you, thirty years from now."

But there's thinking this will happen, and there's experiencing it. Knowing that her soulmate isn't thinking the same what ifs, the same dreaming of what she could be like that she does late at night, even when in a relationship- because he wants to marry his girlfriend, wants to build a life with her and not wait around for her. Probably because he knows that Kim will never be able to make him as happy as he is with her, this other woman.

She guesses she should be happy she found out like this, through the ring instead of meeting him sometime in the future and seeing a wedding ring upon his finger, married to a woman who's not her.

If you had asked her yesterday how she felt about her soulmate, if she wanted to meet him, she'd be unsure. In fact, she probably would've said she doesn't but that possibility of one day meeting him and falling so incredibly in love, that is something she apparently clung onto more than she realised, that she needed that more than she thought- the saying you don't know what you have until you lose it comes to her mind.

Because she's not just lost the last bit of optimism that her soulmate wants her but because she's lost all what she could've had as a future. A husband who's not like a father, a partner and someone who'd see all her flaws and worst qualities and love her despite them- someone who'd encourage her to be better, but wouldn't mind when she trips and falls in the process.

Kim knows, of course she does, that she could still have this. That she could have this is a man who's not her soulmate, but deep down, Kim's always loved and brought into that romantic crap, that no one's quite as special as your soulmate, and now that'll never be her future. Even if she meets the perfect man, it'll always be in her heart that he's not the man who should have her heart, that the man who should rejected her, didn't want her, saw her less than the perfect fit for his heart she's meant to be.

When Kim leaves her apartment to head to work, she wants to look around for the ring, wanting to see if it's out her place, out of her home, but she continues to resist, wanting it to be lost, even if that means it'll find it's way on to the other woman's finger.

She spends the whole day in a mood. There's a residue pang aching away in her heart and there's no way she could ever be anything but miserable with it throbbing, as she absorbs this new reality. She had considered calling in sick, but she's a woman cop, she needs to be tough, to put up with no bullshit just to get a seat at the table, and even though there's no way this would ever get out as the reason she called in sick, she's paranoid to the bone, not wanting to give the old cops she works with a reason to look down on her. She may have had her romantic future stolen from her, but she won't have her professional one taken too.

Kevin notices something's wrong with her, because of course he does. He's a good partner, a good friend- the kind of person that when they first met, Kim's faith in the good of people rose.

"Hey, Burgess. Everything okay?" He asks her the third time she fails to laugh at one of his jokes as they get into the squad car.

"My soulmate is engaged." She says simply, without emotion, as she settles into the passenger seat of the car.

"Oh." Kevin says, and that is that. What else can he say, what else should he say? It sums up this whole situation, and she knows he knows exactly what she's feeling, what she's thinking. He momentarily rests his hand over hers, squeezing it gently and it's the first time all day Kim feels like she may be able to get over this- well, maybe not over, but that she'll be able to cope with it.

They- Kevin and her- never explicitly talk about what Kim discovered, her exact thoughts and emotions towards it. They're best friends, they talk with ease and openness to one another, but they know this is something that should be kept private, the ins and outs unnecessary for him to know.

They've talked about soulmates, of course. Kim doesn't know if you can be friends with someone without it coming up at least once, no matter where you stand. It is never a particularly deep conversation about it- the deepest it went is when Vinessa asked about their thoughts towards it. But it's enough for Kevin to know that this would affect her.

Some friends would sit her down, encourage her to cry or do whatever she needs to get the emotion out. But Kevin knows that's not what she needs.

He drags her out, them starting to spend more evenings at Molly's than before, and he sets her up with a few of his mates, encouraging her to continue on with her life.

It's exactly what she needs, and she feels her heart sewing itself back together. It'll never be whole, never have the seams gone, it will forever be a patchwork heart, pieces sewn together to shape it. But it's enough to keep her going, to help her be her usual self, to move past that intense, sharp pain that stabbed into her heart.

Six weeks later from that miserable Tuesday, you'd never be able to tell that anything was wrong with her, that she hadn't had to reassess her whole future. Six weeks later, she walks into the twenty-first district, her usual, preppy self, ready to face the dry scariness that is her Sargent and that's when she meets Adam Ruzek.

It's a Tuesday, again, and it's really an uneventful encounter. Nothing spectacular about it, just meeting another colleague, and just in passing. The most memorable thing about it is the envy that blooms in her heart that she's working her ass off to make intelligence and this rookie officer gets a place with ease.

Kim doesn't reflect much on it, though. In light of her recent reassessment of her life, she's decided that she's going to throw herself into her career, actively work to get what she wants, taking any chance she gets.

Antonio offers her the chance to help intelligence. It's tiresome work, but she grabs it with both hands and it pays off- because she figures out the lead in the case; her, the patrol officer and she's so proud of herself.

And that's when her first, memorable encounter with Adam happens, as he calls her over, telling her that Antonio asked them to look after her.

That evening- a Tuesday, because apparently everything happens on a Tuesday for her now- is the most fun she has, laughing and bonding and it's the first night she doesn't fall asleep with a residual ache in her heart.

Everything from that point on gets better. Kim had thought she had already found her groove again, but with time- and, apparently, Adam Ruzek's friendship- everything continues to heal, the ache and pain fading away.

Although, it's not friendship she wants with Adam, and it's not friendship she feels for him- it never was, if she's honest with herself. He interests her, captivates him and she wakes up after dreaming of him at night. He's funny and flirty and sweet and quite literally everything she wants in a man.

He's also engaged.

Because of course he is. Because Kim's destined, apparently, to hand her heart over to unavailable men, men who prefer women who aren't her.

The engagement can't be perfect, she thinks, as he flirts with her and there's times she wonders if he's forgotten he's a taken man. She tries to tell herself that it's just wishful thinking, but that becomes impossible when he pushes her up against her care, returning her kiss with a fierce, yet soft, desire.

Kim is mortified, never wanting to be this kind of woman. It's not who she is, and Adam clearly thinks so if what he says when she tells him let's stay friends is any indication.

But then Platt calls her over, calls Adam forbidden district fruit. Kim never wanted to be the type of person who seriously considers going for a taken man, but she likes Adam and goddamnit, she's tired of a ring getting in the way of what her heart yearns for.

Work and life is busy after Adam and her kiss and she doesn't get a chance to feel him out, to see if he'd like it if she kissed him again. And then her niece is in the ICU, and he's giving her this hug, warm and comforting and everything she needed and she gets ahead of herself. her mind spirals, overthinking, and her heart beats that little bit faster as she comes up with all this thoughts and imaginations about what her life is going to be like.

She should've learnt from that miserable Tuesday, and the small burgundy box. To not get ahead of herself, to not dream up this idyllic image of her future.

Before she can even think about maybe making a move on Adam, he's breaking her heart in the district foyer. Telling her he's working on his relationship with Wendy, and she should've predicted this, because Adam is a good man, of course he'd want to work on his engagement, not some random officer from his workplace and again, who would ever pick her? Not even her soulmate would, he's not meant to even think of an alternative, and yet even that's more desirable than her so why would Adam ever pick her.

Kim sits down on one of the seats, her heart throbbing, tears pricking at her eyes. Platt tells her some advice, to repeat he was never hers in the bathroom mirror but saying those words only makes the tears escape, and before she knows it, she's sobbing in the district's ladies room.

Because this heartache isn't because of Adam, not really. It's because of her soulmate, that this is just bringing up all those feelings, all that ache and pain back. And saying he was never hers does not help because he- her soulmate- is hers, was meant to be hers, goddamnit. But he's not and no other man will ever want to be hers, and she doesn't blame them- who'd want someone unwanted by their soulmate?

Kim's life just gets worse, as Voight passes over her for a promotion and the pain in her heart increases as she realises she failed in her one goal moving on from her soulmate. Adam asks if she's okay and his pitiful look makes her heart pang. She knows he's single now, the district alight with gossip about Wendy leaving upset. But after this, she doesn't want to give him any time of the day- and she wants to put herself first.

Still, that doesn't stop her snapping a photo of her sleeping dog cop of a new partner and sending it to him. Kim knows she shouldn't, but there's something about him that makes her unable to stay away completely.

Kim doesn't know what she expects to happen, what she expects from Adam. But him turning unexpectedly at her door, apologizing and telling her that he misses her is not it.

His words melt her heart and steals away the panging ache ricocheting through it in one swoop and she's smiling then she's kissing him- someone has finally chosen her.

Things from then on get better, and if Kim had thought her heart had healed before, she was completely unprepared for how being happy, being loved fixes up her heart.

It's a Tuesday, months after Adam turned up at her door that Kim realises she hasn't felt any of the residue panging in her heart, the damage done by her soulmate fading away as she falls deeper and deeper for Adam.

Kim had thought that the love for a man who's not her soulmate would still leave a slight longing still in her heart. It's understandable, if it did. You can be very happy with someone who's not your soulmate, but at the end of the day, no matter how well your hearts fit together, their heart is not the perfect match for yours and she had thought this would leave a gap in her, even if she's perfectly content.

But she finds it doesn't. Adam is everything she's ever wanted in someone, and it's a Tuesday- a nice, bright Tuesday- that she realises this. That she's not just feeling better, that she's not just dealing with her soulmate being engaged- probably married, at this point-but she's over it. He may not have wanted her, but Adam does.

Insecurities still prick at her, of course. Kim isn't sure if there's any cure that could take away those from her, no matter how happy or content she is. But she always ends the day in bed with Adam, his arms wrapped around her.

It's late at night, on that Tuesday, that Kim lies her head on Adam's chest, listening to the thump, thump, thump of his heart. her heart is also thumping away in her chest, and for a moment, Kim thinks they're beating together, at the same pace, to the same beat. They're not, that only happens with your soulmate, but she softly shuts her eyes and imagines that they are.

Adam and her don't talk about their soulmates. Wendy wasn't Adam's, something that Kim somehow always sensed, and she learns that Adam's parents were soulmates, like hers were. And she learns that the same scars her parents marked her with, he got from his parents as well. That he was disillusioned to the magic of soulmates at a young age, and she gets the impression- even though he doesn't say it in that many words- that he doesn't want to find his soulmate.

Kim likes to think of herself as a good person, but she's quickly learning she has layers. Because it's awful, because she should want Adam to meet that one person perfect for him, but she finds herself feeling happy- no, not quite that, glad- that he doesn't want to find his soulmate, that he's chosen her and he wants to be hers forever, universe be damned.

It's the one thing that keeps her insecurities at bay, when her worries late at night whisper that this is only temporary, that one day he'll meet his soulmate and he'll leave her. The voice that whispers that is the same that tells her that it's fated, because who'd love someone unloved by their soulmate.

Kim doesn't tell Adam that her soulmate is engaged, but just like how she knows he's not too pro soulmate, he knows that she's not either.

It's another Tuesday, because of course it is, when everything changes, when the pieces of the oldest puzzle fall into place.

From Kim's tenth birthday, from when she finally turned the age where she'd start receiving things her soulmate has lost, she quickly learns that her soulmate loses everything. Kim was endeared by it, especially in her teens, spending hours imagining what kind of lovable, but clumsy dummy he must be, to lose everything that he does.

If she thinks about it, that's why she's so attentive to all of her belongings having a place. It makes it even more obvious when her soulmate yet again has lost his shoe or- that one time- his toothbrush. Kim spends sixteen years of her life being constantly surrounded by distinctly male items that aren't hers.

But then her soulmate gets engaged. Married life apparently suits him, as Kim starts getting less and less items from him. His wife has clearly made him more organized and it's only when she thinks about that when her heart aches in that soulmate specific way.

Kim's life doesn't, however, become less cluttered with male items. Adam is a messy disaster, a hurricane of chaos, made worse by the constant switching between their apartments. her place is filled with his items- the amount of times Adam mentions he's lost something and them going back to hers and finding it there.

Not that Kim has a leg to stand on. Adam's cavalier attitude to the things that really aren't that important in life rubs off on her, and she finds herself misplacing more of her items. At first, she has a slight satisfaction at the thought of her presence making itself known to her soulmate, a third in his marriage. But that goes almost as quickly as it came, as she realises she's behaving like Adam, all the stuff she misplaces being just because she left it at Adam's.

Kim's explaining this to Kevin one day. It's a Tuesday, and they both have the day off. Kim, because it was already scheduled and Kevin because he's on leave, pending investigation into the death in the interrogation room.

Adam and her have been dating for a year now, and things are good- really good. Still, Kim is nervous about working alongside him as she's in intelligence while Kev's on leave and so she hopes this breakfast meet up will help distract her from her anxious thoughts- while also making sure her best friend is okay.

"I swear, it was in here!" Kim complains, frustrated, as she paws around her bag, looking for her lipgloss. She doesn't need it right now, but Kevin asked her for ideas of which one to buy Vinessa, and she wanted to show him what to look for.

"It's alright, you've described it," Kevin assures her and she sighs, groaning slightly.

"Ugh, I'm sorry." She apologises and he waves her off.

"Burgess. It's okay. You could always come with me to shop, especially now you'll need to buy a new one." Kim smiles at that.

"You know what, I'll take you up on that. But I don't need a new one, it's probably at Adam's, like everything I lose." She absent-mindedly complains. She doesn't expect a response, but Kevin frowns at her.

"What's that?"

"Nothing. It's funny, everything I misplace, it's always because it's at Adam's. Same with him with his stuff, honestly." She laughs his question off, expecting him to be satisfied with that, but he's still frowning at her.

"Your missing stuff always ends up being with Adam?" Kevin is getting at something, but Kim doesn't know what. She nods.

"Burgess, just answer me this. Your soulmate, how did you know he was engaged?" Kim has no idea why he's bringing that up, and her mood dips slightly.

"He lost the engagement ring he brought her." She answers without much tone or life in her voice.

"Right. So all you know is he got engaged at one point. Wasn't it about a month before Adam joined intelligence?" Kim is well and truly lost now, but she continues to answer his questions.

"Yeah, around that time."

"And Adam- he got engaged to Wendy around then, too?"

"...yes?"

"And now you always find your stuff at his?"

"Kev, what are you getting at?" Kim demands, finally having enough.

"Kim, have you ever considered that maybe you find your stuff at his place not because you left it there, but because you lost it."

It takes a few seconds to connect what exactly Kevin is applying, that he thinks Adam is her soulmate, but once she does, it hits her like a ton of bricks, and the pieces slot into place at it makes perfect sense.

Adam is her soulmate.

She stares at Kevin dumbfoundedly for god knows how long. her soulmate isn't married. her soulmate didn't reject her. her soulmate chose her- chose her without even knowing she is his soulmate.

It's a revelation that quite literally changes everything. Kim has spent the last year and a half forgoing and rejecting anything soulmate related, making peace with that her stance is now against soulmates but as this realisation washes over her, all that is evaporated, and Kim's love for the romanticism of all of it comes back with a fierceness.

Because Adam is her soulmate.

That evening, Adam comes into his apartment, talking to her already about something that happened. Usually she'd listen, but she's on him like a whippet, kissing him with a deep, passionate love- because he is her soulmate.

When she finally pulls back, his hair is mussed and he looks so adorably breathless and stunned that Kim wants to kiss him again. He smiles at her, her heart constricting at how lovely it is.

"What was that for?" He asks.

"Today. Kevin-" Kim's nervous as she goes to tell him, hoping he's as happy as she is. As soon as she says Kevin's name, Adam's stance becomes tenser, worry coming across his face.

"What did Kev say?" He's alert, worried and Kim doesn't know why but she's too happy to reflect too much on it.

"He made me realise- the way we lose things? We're not just leaving it at each other's, we're soulmates, Adam." Kim tells him and she can see as the pieces fall into place for him as well. Then he's smiling again, grinning widely and he kisses her passionately before pulling back, still grinning.

"We're soulmates," he says, breathing heavily from their kiss, resting his forehead against hers. And then he's scooping her up and taking her to his bedroom.

Everything in her life feels perfect; Adam is her soulmate and she's temporarily getting to experience intelligence. But of course, Kim can't ever be happy without things going south and before she knows it, her anxiety and insecurities are creeping in.

Adam is great her first couple of days of being in intelligence, but then he's getting up and going to work without her and she can feel him pulling away. She worries that he hates working with her, and then her worry grows- what if he hates being her soulmate? He had made his feelings about soulmates clear before, what if Kim being his soulmate hasn't changed that, that he wants to break up?

It's a week later after they discover they're soulmates and Kim's in her apartment- the first time in a while, them preferring to be at Adam's- and her chest is tight, her breath ragged as she panics. Kevin will most likely be back to work by the end of the week, but that won't return her relationship with Adam back to how it was, because they're soulmates and Adam doesn't want his soulmate.

Everyone had decided to go to Molly's, and Kim had wanted to go, and had asked Adam if he wanted to go. He hadn't, even though just half an hour before Kim overheard him talking to Jay about wanting to. And that's when she realised- he wanted to go, just not with her.

She had tested it, smiling at him and asking if they should head home together then. But he had shook his head, telling her to head on without him, that he has something to do first, and refused to give any details of what this something is.

Adam is probably expecting her to be at his apartment by now, but Kim couldn't, she just couldn't. Panic has overtaken her body, and she feels as if she's almost drowning, and she knew she had to be at her own place, that she couldn't step a foot into his when he doesn't want her.

Kim had thought the heartbreak over seeing that ring all that time ago was bad, but nothing could prepare her for this. For the pain and heartbreak she feels, the double serrated knife stabbing into her heart as she realises Adam doesn't want her.

That what she thought all those months ago was correct, that she's unwanted by her soulmate. But only it's worse now, because she knows her soulmate, because she will have to look him in his face as he regrets her- as he tells her she was better for him when he thought she wasn't his.

Kim sits down on her bed, her legs feeling like jelly. She tries to catch her breath, tries to calm down and that's when she sees it.

A box, small and black, sitting neatly on her dresser. It's exactly like how it was before, but it's a different box now, and it looks like it belongs even more than the other box.

She's not thinking as she stands up, as she heads towards it and picks it up. She barely has any time to process the feel of the box before she's opening it, before she's looking at the ring that sits inside.

It's beautiful, the ring is.

Before, it was the morning and the sunlight reflected off the diamond. It's night, now, but the ring still sparkles and Kim thinks it looks even more beautiful for it, more beautiful than the other ring- because this ring is exactly the kind of ring she'd want.

Want, because this ring is not hers. She's never seen it before in her life, yet it's everything she wants. And if it's not hers, then it can only be Adam's.

This is so decidedly an engagement ring, there's no argument about it, and if it's here, that means it belongs to Adam.

Suddenly, the dots connect and she realises she added two and two together and got six. Kim's not completely clear on the details, but she knows that Adam can't possibly be wanting to break up, as this ring is evidence that he wants to move their relationship forward.

her mind goes back to last Tuesday, when Adam got worried at the mention of Kevin, and Kim realises he must've told Kevin about this, and was worried that their friend had spilt the beans.

Kim's mind is still reeling from all this that she nearly doesn't hear her door opening. Nearly, because she does, just in time to see Adam skulking in, looking worried and very much like a schoolboy sneaking into school after hours.

Adam jumps near out of skin when he turns and sees her there, resting a hand across his heart. He goes to speak, to ask why she's here, presumably, but he stops in his tracks, his eyes spotting the box sitting in her hands.

He approaches her, looking rather sheepish.

"This isn't exactly how I wanted to do this," he says, taking the ring out of her hands. And then he's kneeling and all of Kim's previous panic is replaced with utter elation and excitement as she realises what's happening. He holds the ring out to her, smiling so widely, love displaced wantonly and unrestricted in his expression, in his smile, in his eyes.

"Kim, I love you. I don't care that this is quick, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you- so much that I decided to do this before even knowing you were my soulmate. But I don't want you to be- just- my soulmate; I want you to be my wife."

"Yes." Kim holds off as long as she could, waiting for him to ask her, but then he says that and she can wait no longer. "Yes, yes, I'll be your wife."

Adam's grin widens, and he's standing up, kissing her and she's kissing back. They're grinning, filled with happiness and excitement, falling onto her bed because of their enthusiasm, giggling into each other as they do so.

"Put it on me!" Kim giddily encourages him, sitting up on her bed, holding out her hand. Adam smiles as he does so, his hands fumbling as he rushes to do so, needing the world to know that she is his- forever- as soon as possible.

"I can't believe I lost it. My heart attack at it, at realising it was out my pocket- and realising that it would be at yours." Adam says to her a while later, when they've celebrated and are sitting, naked, and cuddling in bed together. Kim looks up at him, laughing.

"I can." She says. "You lost Wendy's, once. It came to me, then, too."

Adam looks down at her at that, his expression showing a myriad of emotions at what she's just told him. He strokes down her arm with his thumb and she cuddles more into him.

"Don't worry, I always knew my soulmate is a disaster and this was perfect." She assures him. Because it was; their whole journey was. Even waking up to that ring on her dresser, even with the persistent ache it created in her heart, because she knows now it was because of his own ache, because of the scars made by his parents- and nothing to do with her, and how he feels towards her.

"Well, you deserve perfection. Perfection deserves perfection, after all," Adam responds, his tone casual, but his eyes are filled with love and adoration and Kim knows he doesn't mean it casually, that he wholeheartedly believes that.

That she's perfect, that she's perfect for him.

It's a miserable Tuesday night when Kim falls asleep, in her soulmate's arms, a ring on her finger but as far as she's concerned, it's the most perfect night.

Because she's in her soulmate's arms, a ring on her finger with the knowledge that she's loved, wanted, needed by him, their hearts beating perfectly in time with each other.