AN:I'm gonna have this wrapped up soonish (maybe by the end of june?) but the next chapter is gonna be a big fucking one. So there'll be maybe 3 more big fucking chapters before this is over? I dunno is it better to just make the big chapters or splice them up?
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"Seriously" Mizuki was once again not happy to see Iruka. He of course had come here expecting this, same as the last three times he'd visited. "Do you have nothing better to do than come here?"
"I have plenty of other things I could do, but it annoys you so I'm still coming here" he admittedly didn't really have anything else to do this month.
"I'm sure your hundreds of romantic partners are happy to hear you reject plans for this."
"I'm dating two people, just two."
"Which is practically a hundred once you're done rounding up."
"That's now how you round numbers!"
"I think I know more about math than you, since I have a real teaching certificate."
"SO DO I!"
"No you have the ninja one, I'm actually qualified to help educate children in normal things."
"Why do you have that?'
"It's called having options, don't wanna be on the child soldiers ship when it starts sinking."
"They aren't child soldiers!" Iruka was getting very sick of hearing that.
"They're children who are soldiers. Also known as?" Mizuki pointed at him as he finished the question.
"I'm not saying it."
"Well that is five points deducted from you."
"What points? I'm a grown man, I don't have points."
"Sure you don't, but I can tell not having these five points is going to get to you."
"I've already stopped caring about it, so nope" Iruka was keeping his composure, but he really did want these fake points.
"That's what they all say."
With Mizuki having the last word they sat in silence. The exam was in a few days so everyone was either busy training, or trying to finish all their work. Sure, he could also train, but doing so alone didn't really interest Iruka.
"Naruto and Sasuke made it to the finals for the exam in case you were wondering."
"I mean I figured as much, you think I'd pick any chump kids to rob the Hokage for me?"
"It's funny I actually forgot that's why you're in here" everyone had stopped talking about it almost immediately.
"Now if the judicial system could also forget then I'd be in business."
"I doubt that'll happen anytime soon."
"Don't be so sure, I made an appeal to the Hokage and mentioned how good I am at kickflips, so I think I've won him over."
"Well when I get made Hokage for my kegstand I'll think it over."
"Oh please, your kegstand was pathetic! Do you have any core strength?"
"Hey! I didn't even want to do it!"
"Exactly! You're a pushover, you'd never make Hokage."
"Oh but because you can do a kickflip you could be Hokage?"
"You go try and do a kickflip and then come back to me."
"Fine I will" he had no idea what kickflip even was, but Iruka would not be shown up by Mizuki.
"Now if you don't mind, I was in the middle of mugging another inmate and really need to get back to that."
"Why would you tell me that?""
"To make you uncomfortable so you leave sooner, duh."
"Well fine, enjoy your mugging!" Iruka headed for the door.
"I will!"
Even if Mizuki had still not apologized for anything, their meetings were a lot less hostile now. Maybe in a few years they could have a normal conversation again. Of course Iruka now had to figure out another way to kill time today.
"Anyone home?" knowing Kakashi was still going to be busy he ended up looking for Rōzu. After calling out knocking he still didn't get any reply.
"This sucks!" Zabuza's shout from the stairs stopped him in his tracks. "All they've had me do is patrol shit, maybe being on the run is better."
"I do feel kind of weird with my duties too" Haku was coming up with him. "It just feels wrong teaching these kids to be child soldiers after everything you know?"
"Hey I'd love to do that, I'm probably the most qualified guy in the world for that job."
"So, you guys settling in well?" Iruka tried to ignore what he'd heard now that they were out of the stairwell.
"Yeah…."
"The kids aren't uh…. Giving you issues right Haku?"
"Nope, they're just, uh so great" Haku clearly had hoped anyone other than his boss had heard his last remark.
"So what are you up to?" Zabuza tried to change the subject.
"Just stopped by to see if Rōzu was in, they're not."
"Wow, crazy."
"Yup."
"Well, we're just gonna scooch past you to our place" Haku pointed at the door past him. "I think they've been working late this past week so you could check there?"
"That would make sense yeah" Iruka shuffled past the two of them in the hallway. "Thanks."
"No problem."
"And if anyone asks we really love being here, no thoughts of defecting whatsoever."
"I will pass that along."
"That's just, so swell of you" he could see the pain in Zabuza's eyes as he said that.
"No problem" with that awkward moment over he power walked out of the hallway, only able to hear Haku giggling about Zabuza's choice of words. Without anywhere else to go, he headed for the Hokage tower.
"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE COMING!" Rōzu was in the Hokage's office furiously filing papers with him.
"Is this a bad time?"
"YES!" the two replied in unison.
"Right I'll jus-"
"Go find Naruto, I don't want him spending too much time with Jiraya" Rōzu looked away from the papers for a moment. "And if you could do so tomorrow two that would be super appreciated!"
"You two are very busy I see."
"We've got village leaders and dignitaries from three different countries all coming in two days" the Hokage took a break from the forms. "At this rate we'll still be handling some of this during the exam."
"Wouldn't that be a bit late for any visiting papers?"
"If this was all just visiting papers, yes, there's all kinds of budgeting work to be done."
"Right" Iruka was backing away as the Hokage spoke.
"If you need to use dinner to drag him away I'll pay you back for it" Rōzu returned to processing the paperwork.
"I can handle that, just don't die from this work?"
"Boss, does dying get me out of doing this?"
"No, I know the reanimation jutsu."
"Goddammit" they returned all their focus to the work.
Without any leads for where Naruto could be, Iruka checked Ichiraku first. He was lucky enough to find him and Jiraya there.
"Great someone I can ditch you with" Jiraya immediately headed for the exit.
"I don't need a babysitter first of all" Naruto threw a dirty look his way. "And secondly, you better remember your promise, cause I am winning the whole thing."
"Not if the exam gets canceled before then."
"Don't jinx it!"
"I'm just kidding around" Jiraya turned back to ruffle his hair. "I said I'd be there to watch and I will, but if you lose no more training with me."
"So I take it you've had a good time training with Jiraya?" Iruka used their small argument to order food.
"I mean mostly yeah, I can summon toads now."
"You can what now?"
"Summon large amphibians."
"Uh huh" Iruka was going to have some questions for Jiraya later. "That's good I guess?"
"I mean mostly yeah, I've gotta use that to do it though so it's not something I can do all the time."
"That being?'
"My belly buddy."
"Right right" Iruka found it just as weird hearing Naruto say that.
"But either way I'm winning the exam no problem, and then Jiraya has to teach me that ball move."
"I'm not so sure you should learn that at your age Naruto" Iruka could recognize the fourth Hokage signature technique. "It's kind of incredibly dangerous."
"People keep saying that about the moves I learn, and yet I keep learning them."
"That's not a good thing! You're still a kid and you've got your limits, if you push yourself too far too fast it'll end badly."
"No way, I'm not hitting my limit any time soon!" Naruto said this with a mouthful of ramen.
"Well when you do I'll make sure you say I told you so extra condescendingly" Iruka ruffled his hair.
"Yeah yeah whatever dad."
His aloof reply caused them both to freeze up. In all the years he'd helped take care of Naruto, he'd never called Iruka dad before.
"I mean uh, uh" Naruto was the first to recover. "I meant sad, cause you'll be so sad seeing how cool I am, YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!"
Following that shout Naruto bolted from the ramen stall. His own stupor was only fully broken by Ayame poking six chopsticks into his ears.
"OH COME ON!"
"I CAN'T HAVE A LOWER SCORE THAN MY DAD!" hearing the word again made Iruka pause his mini-freak out.
"He called me dad" given his relationship with Rōzu it could happen, one day, in theory. Of course Iruka had never thought about that before, or how warm it made him to hear that.
"Was it Kakashi cause like, I know you like him but that's weird as hell" Rōzu had now also ended up at Ichiraku.
"No! God no, also are you done work?"
"Oh hell no, we're just giving up for today. I see you failed to get Naruto away from Jiraya though."
"No I did, you kind of just missed him though."
"Well dang, I haven't actually had dinner with him since Jiraya stole him away."
"Not what happened."
"He used toads and a spinning orb to tempt my son away from me, that is exactly what happened."
"That's now, technically wrong, but stole has a bad connotation."
"Good" they took a seat and looked over the menu. "Any chance I can get you to stick around and eat with me?"
"I could manage that" he took a seat next to them.
With how busy Rōzu, was this was his first chance to actually talk with them since the Jiraya incident. Their input on the Mizuki situation were…
"You don't know what a kickflip is do you."
"HOW DO YOU?"
"I'm twenty-two! How do you not?"
"I never got into skateboarding, sue me."
"It's fine, I can teach you how to do a kickflip to impress your prison pal."
"Really?"
"Yeah I wouldn't pass on the opportunity of seeing you fall on your ass a bunch of times."
"Thanks."
The rest of their dinner chat was filled with the more mundane catching up. Both of their jobs didn't really have them doing too much action. It wasn't till the walk back he thought to share what Naruto said.
"So, has Naruto ever talked about me?" Iruka of course didn't know how to broach the topic.
"I mean yeah, less so now, but you used to be one of three things he'd talk about."
"Really? What were the other two?"
"Ramen and being Hokage."
"Wow, I made top three with Ramen."
"I'm sure you're further down on that list now if that humbles you."
"Well, I'm not too sure about that actually."
"Oh yeah? I taught him how to turn water into a dragon I'm for sure above you on the list."
"Which you should not have done!" Iruka took a deep breath to refocus. "But, before you showed up he, uh, he called me dad."
"Naruto, as in my son, called you dad?"
"Yeah."
"Like, not as a joke or anything like that?"
"No he just kind of said it, he didn't even realize it at first."
"Well, that's, I mean that's good!" Rōzu seemed fairly surprised by this. "Like, we've been together for awhile now, and you've pretty much been here every step of the way with me raising him."
"Yeah I know, it's just, well, I never thought he thought of me like that?"
"For sure, it's very shocking to me."
"Well hey I could be a dad."
"I'm not saying you couldn't, but do you want to be?"
"Of course I do!" His own enthusiasm caught Iruka by surprise.
"Oh, well, um."
"Sorry I, it just felt like something I should tell you about, you know?"
"And I'm glad you did" Rōzu paused, looking away from him. "I assumed it'd be better to wait til Naruto was grown up to talk about this."
"This?"
"I mean us, sorry as you know, I'm not good with this stuff."
"Yeah, and I'm sure you remember, neither am I."
"Well you haven't taken off running, so I'd say you've improved over the years."
"Thank you, but I've got the log on standby in case you try anything funny."
"I'm sure you do" they looked back at him. "Do you want to you know, get married?"
"Married?"
"Yeah? You know, you'd officially be Naruto's dad, and we'd be, you know, married."
"I just, I feel like that's sort of more for someone you're in love with you know?"
"Oh, Yeah, of course, sorry that was, wow that was stupid of me."
"No it's not" Iruka took one of their hands in his.
"No it, really definitely is."
"Why would that be stupid? I mean really it makes sense for taxes and stuff, and we're already like a family with us and Naruto so I get why you asked."
"I asked because I'm in love with you" Rōzu pulled their hand free and walked ahead of him. "But I'm sorry for assuming it was mutual."
Once again today Iruka was too slow to process what had just been said to act. Rōzu was already home by the time he broke out of his stupor.
"I just fucked up" this was abundantly clear to him.
