"You look good, man." Lou had to admit Steve looked relaxed. Made him smile for a minute.

Steve was too impatient for pleasantries. He got right to the point. "Lou, how is Danny really?"

Lou crossed his arms. "How do you think?"

There was a pleading in Steve's eyes. "Lou, please."

"He's rough. We all are, Steve. It's been a hard couple of months."

"I didn't want to - I never meant to -"

Lou held up his hand. He didn't know why he'd agreed to this video call. He really didn't want Steve to see how raw his own emotions were.

"Hey, you need this break, right?"

Steve nodded, but didn't answer with words. He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath.

"Are you ready to come back?"

"No." Fire crept back in Steve's voice, like he was daring Lou to question what he'd done. "I'm not ready to come back."

"Well, there it is."

"I am coming back."

"Uh huh."

"You don't believe me?"

"Frankly, Steve, I don't know what to believe. I never thought I'd see you leave like this."

"Like what?"

"Hey, hey. I don't mean anything by it. It's just – it was sudden."

"I talked about it for awhile, Lou."

"I know you did."

"Then what?"

"Steve, look man, you're gonna do what you're gonna do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lou sighed. "We miss you."

"I miss all of you, too. And it hasn't been that long."

Shaking his head, Lou looked away.

"What Lou?"

"I don't wanna overstep."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Sure."

Lou laughed.

"I moved to this rock to get away from my problems. You know how that went."

"Lou."

"Best decision I made but it came at a cost too. I own that."

"I'm not getting away from anything."

"Getting away." Lou bit off the best part of a laugh. "You're running."

Steve cleared his throat. "I'm not running."

"You told Danny you were looking for peace."

"That's right."

"Bullshit. Peace is code for running away."

Steve had his own ammunition. Or so he thought.

"You've been lying to me for the past week, Lou."

"Lying to you?"

"Danny is not fine."

"See, you know that and haven't done anything about it. What does that say?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You left in a hurry, man. And no one blames you. It's been a tough year."

"Year? Try decade."

"Decade. Whatever. Problem is, you think you're the only one."

"Danny's got family. He'll be fine."

"Family? And you think you don't? That's what hurt the most. You left him like he was part of the job."

"That's not. No." Steve's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "You know that's not true."

"Then what? Why did you leave when he was two days out of the hospital?"

"He said he was fine."

"Stop. You know that's a crock of shit. Fine doesn't sit on that stretch of beach til his ass is so numb he needed help getting up."

"What?"

"See, he's lucky his family had his back." Wind crackled in that background. Lou sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Look, man. I'm sorry. That last comment was way outta line."

"No, I deserve it."

"I still shoulda phrased it better."

"I almost got him killed."

"Don't start that shit. Daiyu Me kidnapped Danny because of some old beef with your mother. This is on Doris."

"Well, she's dead, Lou so – "

Lou laughed and rolled his eyes. "Just stop."

"I can see you, Lou, you remember that, right?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you this, but you are not your mother. Or your father. Or any of the other baggage you've been dragging around."

Steve closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. "I thought this was what I needed. Now, I just don't know."

"Take some time and find out. Alone."

"Alone?"

"Catherine, Steve?" Lou groaned. "Man, you know how that goes."

"You know about Catherine?" Steve lowered his voice and scanned the parking lot. Catherine hadn't come back from the convenience store on the corner. He suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to discuss his love life. Or whatever it was.

Lou pushed. "Yep, we know about Catherine. Cole thought he was doing you a favor. Please be careful. I remember what happened the last time. She'll do a number on you. Again. Do you really need this? What happened to finding peace?"

Steve ignored the lecture. He focused on one key thing. His gut had been right. Cole told Catherine about his plans. No one was going to tell him what to do.

"I have this under control, Lou."

"Steve, you know all we want is for you to be happy, right?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine isn't happy."

The words stung. Steve didn't have time to argue the point. Catherine appeared at the corner of the lot. She waved when she saw him.

"I gotta go, Lou. Take care."

"Don't be a stranger, Steve." Just like that, the mood shifted again. "We miss you."

Steve laughed, a little overcome. "Tani threatened to start a group text."

"She would." Lou smiled. "Take care. Don't be a stranger."

Nodding, Steve touched the screen. "Bye Lou."

He stared at the screen, feeling like he'd left Oahu all over again.

Catherine shoved into his space, wrinkling her nose. He closed his laptop and shrank back into himself.

"Who was that?" Her lighthearted giggle was more demand than anything else.

"Lou."

"Aw, that's nice. He's always been a good friend."

"Still is."

"Sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Things are changing, Steve."

He frowned and took the bags from her. "Let's eat."

"We can do that."

Just as they approached the door, Steve spun around, catching Catherine off guard. "Why are you here?"

She bumped into him. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I'm tagging along on your quest."

"Try again."

"I think someone needs to eat. You always get grumpy when your blood sugar is low."

Catherine took his hand and led him into the motel room.

/././

Danny longed to retreat to his room. Steve's room. To sleep. To become one with the bed for hours. Not tonight.

Charlie was with him. Joy of his life.

"Danno?"

His voice was so sweet, it hurt Danny's heart. Coming inches from death made him very nostalgic.

"Yea buddy?" Danny pulled Charlie closer.

"Where's Uncle Steve?"

Before Danny could answer, Charlie kept going.

"Is he on a secret mission?"

Danny smiled. He wanted to lie. He could go along with Charlie's fantasy. But he knew, as time stretched on, no fib would hold, so he molded his response to something Charlie would understand.

"No Charlie. He's-" Danny stopped, overcome with an unexpected dizziness. He didn't know where Steve was. Had no clue. Except that he was on the mainland. He swallowed the helpless feeling and took a breath. "He's on vacation."

"Vacation? Like Disney World?" Charlie seemed hopeful, almost excited. Danny could see the wheels turning, and the twinkle in his son's eyes almost broke his heart.

"Yea, like Disney World. Except he's on a road trip." God, Danny thought he'd blown it. Did Charlie know what he meant?

"Road trip?" Charlie raised an eyebrow and chewed on his finger. "You mean like a car, Danno?"

"That's right. He's driving."

"Why? Is he afraid to fly because of the plane crash?"

Kids said the darndest things.

Jaw set, Danny tried his best not to appear alarmed. He wasn't prepared; he didn't know what to say. He hadn't talked much to Charlie about the doomed undercover mission. Then he remembered something from Charlie's favorite teacher.

"You know how Mrs. Keloa taught you to stop and count to ten when you're upset?"

Charlie nodded, little face captivated and waiting for the payoff.

"Well, that's what Uncle Steve is doing. Except it's the adult version." Danny thought he was losing Charlie, and he searched his mind for more.

But Charlie surprised him with a quick answer. "Ok, Danno."

Danny relaxed. He could do this. Hopefully, the tough part of the conversation was over.

Then, his sweet little boy's face contorted with a wave of hurt. "But he didn't say goodbye."

/././

Danny felt like a cliché.

He looked at the night sky and thought about Steve seeing the same moon. There must have been a thousand stars. How long ago had he fallen in love with the islands? He couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

Except he didn't know where Steve was. It could be daylight. Probably was.

But his heart ached. It wasn't his healing bullet wound or bruised everything else.

He missed his best friend. The pain got worse each day. How could he leave him right when he needed him?

Danny figured that for the first time, Steve needed to be the one to leave. After all the people who'd left him. Everyone but Danny. He'd stayed. He'd risked his relationship with Grace, goddammit. To save Steve. To clear him. To save his stubborn ass. Over and over again.

This time, the going got too tough, and Steve had bugged out.

With a big sigh, Danny looked up and counted the stars. Why couldn't Steve just get on a plane and come home?

He was being maudlin. Alcohol did that to him. Made him sappy. He thought about his misguided attempt to rekindle things with Rachel and then, the bar and Joanna, and the pain got worse. What a fucking year. Maybe he could crawl back into bed til 2021.

Just when he thought the night couldn't get worse, his cell vibrated. Speak of the devil.

"Steven."

"How are you?"

God, it was so good to hear Steve's voice. Danny kept it light to keep from weeping. "Fine, thanks."

"You sure? You don't sound fine."

Something about the tone of those words twisted in Danny's gut. No, he wasn't fine. No matter how relieved and happy he was to hear Steve's voice, he was shouldering a burden he needed to share. Danny considered his next words. Part of him wanted to hold back. Another wanted to unload. He went right for the jugular.

"Charlie cried tonight."

Steve cleared his throat. Danny regretted his admission. Steve took it in stride.

"I bet you found just the right thing to say, buddy. You're the best dad I know."

The words felt hollow, forced. Overkill. Danny knew it was his terrible mood playing tricks on him, but he couldn't help snapping. They always say you hurt the ones you love.

"Why did you call, Steve?"

"I can't check in with my best friend?" Steve's retort was sharp. Danny's foul mood was spreading.

"I don't want pity. Not yours. Not Lou's. Not anyone else's. Right about now, I just wanna be left alone. I have a killer headache. And talking to you doesn't help."

Danny hung up.

/././

Steve worked his jaw back and forth, staring at the screen. The Call ended message taunted him. Served him right after waiting too many days to reply to Danny. He swiped through his contacts and called the first person on his mind.

"Lou?"

"Yesss…" Lou dragged out the word.

Steve hated Lou with a passion in that moment. The smugness. The lingering disappointment in that one syllable. Was he imagining things?

"Lou-"

The big guy cut him off. "How are you, Lou? Why, I'm quite annoyed that you woke my ass up at midnight. Didn't I just talk to you this morning? Or was I dreaming?"

"I'm sorry. I –"

"Just hung up with Danny? I know. He had the decency to text me a heads up."

"So, I didn't wake you. Danny did."

"Semantics."

Steve stared at the phone.

Silence stretched. Felt like another person on the line. Lou was first to jump back into the rough waters.

"Are you bleeding, Steve?"

"No."

"In danger?"

"No."

"Broken bones?"

"No. Come on, Lou."

"Okay then. Call me back in like six hours. Good night." Lou hung up.

/././

"Lou, baby. Come back to bed."

His wife stood in the doorway. Frowning, he shook his head. He couldn't look at her. He was pushing back tears and a surge of anger. Not at Steve exactly. Life itself sucked right then.

Renee sighed. He listened to her float across the room, robe all cool and soft when she wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't say a word." She whispered. "We can stay here all night. Whatever you need."

"Loaded question."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No." Lou nudged her robe open and found his solace.