Chapter 4
So I went ahead and combined what was Ch 5 with Ch 4 and re-posted it as a new Ch 4, so if you're reading this and thinking "Hey, I've already read this.." You are correct. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense to have an entire chapter just for one scene. So, I hope you enjoy this extended Ch 4, and I can't wait to get the next chapter done.
04/05/2021
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The bartender finished mixing together the brightly colored cocktails and poured them into souvenir glasses, the theme park's logo and mascot smiling out from the dark plastic surface. Kaji slipped his wallet (now almost ¥3500 lighter, he noted sourly) back into his pocket and exited the faux thatched-roof shack. He glanced around, finding Misato standing a few meters away, leaning against a wooden post and tapping her foot. To anyone else, she seemed to be the epitome of impatience, but Kaji knew better. Although she rarely showed that side of her, he knew what nervous Misato looked like.
He sidled up next to her and offered her one of the drinks, the plastic beginning to sweat in the warm night air. She took it with a mumbled thanks and brought it to her lips, when Kaji stopped her, his fingers lightly pressing down on her arm. She looked at him, annoyed.
"What?"
"You're supposed to make a toast before you drink," he replied, holding his own glass up, small droplets falling to the wooden planks below. Misato stared at him; eyes narrowed. She sighed and held up her glass to the man, waiting.
"And what are we drinking to, exactly?"
Kaji shrugged.
"I don't know. I hadn't thought that far ahead," he mumbled, smirking. A lock of his hair chose that moment to fall over his face and Misato fought back the urge to reach up and brush it away, her free hand already moving on its own. She groaned as he secured it back in place.
"Well, don't expect me to come up with something on the spot. I'm not usually the one that starts the toast, I just drink to it," she grumbled, her arm starting to tire as she held up her glass, "So make up something quick, or else I'm drinking this in one gulp."
Kaji nodded, pursing his lips in thought. An idea hit him, and he grinned. He brought his own glass up level with hers.
"To the kids, and to love," he said triumphantly, "May they see what's right in front of them, before it's too late." Before Misato could react, he pushed his cup against hers, making the "clink" sound on his own before taking a deep pull from the sweet, colorful liquid within. Misato stared at him, shaking her head as she took an equally large drink from her cup.
"Ahhh. That is almost worth the ¥1750 I paid for it," Kaji chuckled, looking appreciatively at the drink in his hand. He looked to Misato. "So, what'd you think of the toast? Not too bad for off the top of my head, right?"
The woman stared at him, taking another sip.
"It was okay, I guess. I've heard better," she snickered, shaking her head, "I'm kind of sad none of said kids were around to hear it, though. I would have paid good money to see how red their faces went."
Kaji nodded.
"I'd be willing to bet at least as bright as Asuka's hair, maybe a bit darker." He took another sip of his drink, holding the cup out and blinking as he pulled in the last of the alcohol. The remaining ice crunched as it settled in the cup. Kaji frowned.
"Well damn. That went by way too fast." He looked up to see Misato in the same boat, the raven-haired woman staring, confused, into the bottom of her now empty cup, "You feeling up to another one? The night's still young…"
Misato glowered at him, eyes narrowed. She looked up in thought, rubbing at her chin dramatically as she considered his offer. "I could do with one more. Maybe skip the souvenir glass this time; save some money."
"Only one?" he asked slyly, raising his eyebrow. She shot him a look and he grinned, "Alright. One more it is. You owe me when we get back home, though."
She stuck her tongue out as he turned back toward the drinks station.
"One more" quickly turned into two, which turned into three, and then four, which lead to a grinning Misato walking along the wooded pathway towards the beach, a pleasant fuzziness settling over her head like a blanket. Kaji walked closely beside her, his own brain more than a little fuddled. They passed a group of teens walking in the opposite direction, more than one couple in the bunch holding hands or leaning against each other as they made their way deeper into the park.
Kaji snapped his fingers in front of Misato's face, snorting as she jumped slightly. She spun and frowned at him.
"What?
"You were kind of staring at those kids."
She blinked.
"No I wasn't!" she hiccupped. Kaji grinned.
"Yeah, you were. You stopped in the middle of the walkway and started ogling them. I don't think they noticed, thank god." He tilted his head, the booze sloshing around not unpleasantly in his skull, "So what was that all about? They were a little young for you, dontcha think?"
Misato blushed.
"I… I was just wondering…." She froze, turning from him.
Kaji raised an eyebrow.
"Wondering…. What?"
"…"
"What, Katsuragi?" Kaji stepped closer, working his way around to look Misato in the face, "You can't leave me hanging like that. Spit it out."
Misato averted her eyes and turned again, Kaji shifting to stay in her line of sight. She spun a few more times, huffing as Kaji matched each movement. She looked up at him, frowning. The alcohol had coated her eyes in a thin glaze, the lights overhead bristling like stars through a fine mesh. She bit her lip.
"I was wondering what those kids have that Shinji and Asuka and the others don't." She looked away as Kaji's eyes widened, his remaining sobriety now firmly anchored behind his eyes, "I was wondering what had gone differently for them, what had led them to being, well, you know..."
She sighed.
"And why our kids can't seem to do the same."
"Our kids?" Kaji chuckled, "Since when are they our kids?"
Misato cut him off with a look.
"You know what I mean. And don't distract me, I'm having a hard enough time keeping my thoughts in order as it is. They're 'our' kids in the sense that we spend almost as much time with them as their parents and friends do. We've practically watched them grow up."
Kaji nodded, conceding her point.
"You're not wrong. It is frustrating watching these kids dance around each other like they are. It seems like it's only gotten worse since we came on this trip. It hasn't even been a full day and I've caught one of them staring at another more times than I can count," he sighed, shaking his head, "If it's not Hikari burning holes in the back of Toji's head, then it's him constantly glancing at her when he thinks no one's looking. It's the same for Asuka and Shinji. Don't think I didn't notice how red her face turned when she laid eyes on Shinji after we picked her up this morning. It'd be adorable if it wasn't so damn frustrating."
Misato mumbled in agreement.
Sounds like me and you…
"What was that?"
Misato's eyes flew open. Kaji was looking at her, recognition slowly dawning on his face.
"Did you…."
Misato shook her head vehemently.
"I didn't say anything. I just burped. You're hearing things…"
A sudden wave of dizziness washed over her. She squeezed her eyes shut, suddenly regretting that 4th drink. She wobbled a little, and Kaji reached out on instinct, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him (which Misato, in her current state of inebriation, was not afraid to admit to herself that she did not mind at all), and steadied her. She took a few deep breaths and patted Kaji on the chest. He let go, but didn't step back, just in case.
"I'm okay. Just a little…"
"Sloshed?"
She glared at him, but there was no malice in it.
"Shut up. I'm just tired. It's been a long day."
Kaji sighed and stepped back, satisfied in his companion's ability to stay upright, at least for now. Misato ran her hands through her hair, lifting it out of her face. She looked up, the stars slightly more visible here than in the city. She frowned as she turned to Kaji. He stared at her, out of things to say for once. He remembered a time when that almost never happened, when even the silences were comfortable. When the two of them would sit together for hours, talking about nothing important, if they even talked at all. He sighed.
"What happened to us, Katsuragi?" Kaji spoke up, Misato quietly thankful for the broken silence. She looked at him askance, her eyes suddenly clear, anger flashing in them.
"You know what happened. We ran away from each other. We were too young, too unprepared," she shivered, "We couldn't see two seconds in front of us, much less two years. We burned too bright, too fast. We…"
"I meant with the alcohol," Kaji cut in, a little more sharply than he had intended, his eyes hardening, "Four drinks used to be nothing for us."
He titled his head.
"But let's talk about your thing, shall we?"
() () () ()
Kensuke ducked, again, as Mari swung around, the giant lollipop in her hand barely missing his head. Again. She was excitedly blabbering about something, the newest episode of her favorite anime perhaps, but Kensuke was having a hard time focusing, what with the large confection threatening to clobber him at any moment. Rei looked on, amused, as Kensuke deftly avoided another swing, turning to her and glaring at the small smirk on her face.
Mari continued, blissfully unaware of her unintentional near assaults. She brought her hand, and the lollipop within, back around before throwing her arms wide as she reached the climax of her rambling. She turned to her companions, looking at them expectantly.
"So, that's my humble opinion. What did you guys think of the episode?"
Kensuke and Rei stood, dumbstruck. They turned to each other, staring for a moment, before turning back to Mari.
"Uhh… I liked it just fine," Kensuke replied hesitantly, shooting a sideways glance at Rei, hoping for some sort of assistance and receiving none, "I didn't really care for the new closing song, but I can skip that."
Mari nodded sagely, taking a few licks of the lollipop. She turned, gazing off into the distance. The two teens standing behind her stared, waiting. For what, they weren't sure. They had known Mari a grand total of a month and a half, most of that being through emails, text messages and chatting while playing online. As such, their exposure to the girl had, up to this point, been somewhat filtered, the limitations of digital communications diluting her mannerisms and… eccentricities… down to a manageable level.
Now, though, they were getting the full Mari, and it was a sight to behold. The girl was a whirlwind, never staying in one spot for more than a few minutes, jumping from topic to topic in conversation, somehow keeping up with multiple threads between her and Rei and Kensuke. She never faltered, and the few times she lost herself, she managed to regain her proverbial footing later on, continuing where she had left off as though nearly twenty minutes hadn't elapsed.
She was, in a word, incredible. She was, in another word, exhausting. Rei's brain felt like it was beginning to misfire, Mari barreling across her cerebellum like a runaway truck. Kensuke was faring only slightly better, but he was also beginning to tire, the heat of the day and the lack of sleep the night before beginning to catch up to him. He wondered how Rei was holding up. He glanced at the bluenette and got his answer.
Rei was staring at... Something, her eyes slightly crossed as they seemed to look at everything and nothing all at once. Kensuke took a step to his right, sidling up against the girl. He reached around her back and poked her gently in the ribs, grinning as she yelped quietly. She spun her head, mouth open, ready to berate him…
The words died in her throat, a strangled "guhh" the only sound to escape. Their noses were mere inches apart, Kensuke's upper arm pressed firmly against hers. She stared at him for several moments before practically jumping to her right.
"Don't do that! You know I'm ticklish!" There was no heat in her voice, as much as she wanted there to be. Kensuke kept grinning. He reached his hand up, his index finger extended, and aimed it at the girl. "Don't even think about it, KensukaaaAYYAAHH!"
Rei nearly left her shoes behind as she jumped at Mari's touch, the brunette's fingers digging lightly into the other girl's sides, gently playing across her ribs. The blue-haired girl was trapped for a moment, giggling helplessly as she squirmed in Mari's grasp. She glanced at Kensuke, the boy fighting hard to maintain his composure. Eventually, Rei managed to break free, and took several quick steps away from her attacker, nearly bowling Kensuke over in her haste. To the boy's credit, he was at least partially prepared for it, and he caught her by the upper arms, gently stopping her as she nearly lost her balance in the loose sand at her feet.
"You good, Rei?" he chuckled, the bluenette steadying herself in his grasp. He held on to her for several moments, maybe more than was strictly necessary. They locked eyes as he let go, Rei suddenly missing the contact as Kensuke admonished their friend, "Mari, she just said she doesn't like that. She's super ticklish in her ribs."
The twin-tailed terror removed the lollipop from her mouth and grinned sheepishly.
"Yeah, I know. But I didn't want to be left out. You guys looked like you were having too much fun…" she grinned toothily, "Plus, now I know for sure that she's just as soft and warm as she looks."
Two sets of eyes locked onto Mari. The pair looking out from under blue locks narrowed dangerously. The brunette simply smiled, winked, and went back to her candy, looking around her as she did.
"So, what do you guys want to do now? The only thing I had in mind was the gondola's but that didn't work out, and we've still got a couple hours before everything closes." Kensuke looked at his watch and nodded. The gondola ride had been a bust, some mechanical failure stranding more than a few people high over the park until technicians could manually bring the cars back in. The three teens had been wandering aimlessly since then, bouncing from attraction to attraction.
Rei had, on several occasions, tried to find a spot for her and Kensuke to talk, but her plans were thwarted constantly by a certain third party. As such, the bluenette was beginning to grow frustrated. Only those who knew her well, which is to say her family and closest friends, would be able to recognize the irritation written on her face.
Kensuke, being one of the aforementioned closest friends, had watched helplessly as Rei slowly became more and more exasperated, her eyes narrowing constantly at Mari, her breaths quickening subtly, her hands wringing at her sides. He glanced at their companion and, hoping the brunette would stay with her back to them for just a few more moments, pulled out his phone and quickly typed a message.
He quietly cleared his throat, getting Rei's attention. He nudged her arm, holding his phone up and raising his brows at her. She stared at him for a few moments until she felt her cell vibrate in her shirt pocket. She blinked before shaking her head slightly and retrieving the device. She flipped it open and skimmed over the words on the screen.
You seem frustrated. Sorry Mari is being… Mari. I still want to talk whenever we can if you're up to it, though…
Rei looked up at Kensuke, the blush on her cheeks thankfully hidden by the low light of the walkway. She swallowed and nodded. She quickly typed out a response before dropping her phone back into her pocket.
I am. And it's okay. We sort of knew she was like this, so that's on us.
Kensuke, satisfied with the response, grinned and deposited his phone back in its hiding place. He took one more glance at Mari before reaching down and wrapping Rei's hand in his own, giving it a quick squeeze. Before Rei could react, he dropped it, moving a few steps away from the girl. She turned and stared at him, her eyes wide, her hand reaching out on its own. She willed the appendage to behave, returning it to her side and clenching her fist. Kensuke, to his credit, noticed the small motion, his pulse jumping slightly. His own hand twitched, and for a moment he considered reaching back out, just to see what would happen, where that action would take them…
Mair appeared between them, lollipop gripped firmly in one hand.
"So, any ideas? You guys got real quiet there for a minute."
Kensuke sighed. "I've got nothing, Mari. It's getting late enough that most of the big attractions are closed, and I'm not sure what else there is t… You've got an idea, don't you?"
She turned to him and smiled. "Yep! There's a fake village on the beach that has a festival every night. It has it all; Takoyaki, grilled squid, shaved ice, girls in yukatas… Everything you could ask for! How does that sound?"
Kensuke nodded his head, pursing his lips in appreciation. "That sounds great." He looked at Rei, "Come on, Rei. I'll buy you some shaved ice."
The bluenette looked at him strangely for a moment before smiling. "That sounds great."
"And what about me, huh?" Mari jumped in, placing an exaggerated hand on her hip, "You're not going to offer to buy me and shaved ice?"
Kensuke, completely deadpan, looked from her face to the giant lollipop still clutched in her hand. "Uh, I think you're good."
Mari stuck her tongue out at him before turning on her heel and stomping away dramatically. She stopped after only a few meters and turned back, grinning. "Just kidding. You guys coming or what?"
Rei and Kensuke looked at each other and sighed, shaking their heads. They tuned back to find Mari already several more meters ahead of them, having deemed it unnecessary to wait for a reply. The two teens took off after her, practically jogging to catch up with the long-legged girl. They fell in behind her, Mari leading the way, the lollipop held in front of her like a candy shield, daring anyone to try and stop her.
Rei and Kensuke walked in a comfortable silence, the sand crunching under their feet and the low rumble of the nearing ocean waves their only steady companion. Kensuke stared after Mari, shaking his head. Rei, in turn, took the opportunity to stare at Kensuke. His glasses glinted in the lights suspended overhead, the soft white glow illuminating just enough of the path for them to walk confidently.
Unbidden, memories began to bubble up in Rei's mind. Afternoons spent playing videogames in Kensuke's den, sitting at the dinner table with him and his parents, both laughing as his mom swiped at his dad's head for an inappropriate joke. Scenes that she had relived many times flickered across her mind's eye, the associated feelings of happiness attached to them causing her chest to warm pleasantly.
There was something else, though. This time it wasn't just her chest that warmed, but her cheeks too, as she remembered the day Kensuke found out she had been spending a lot of her nights alone due to her parent's work. The pain she had seen in his eyes had stuck with her, as had the feeling of his hand wrapping firmly around her wrist as he pulled her into the kitchen. She found herself wanting desperately to experience that again. What that meant, she wasn't sure, but she was open to figuring it out, preferably with Kensuke's help. She dared a glance back at the boy, her eyes crawling over the side of his face, his freckles surprisingly visible in the low light. Her gaze settled on his mouth, on the corner of his lips. She wondered what they felt like, how they would feel pressed against…
Kensuke looked over as Rei let out a surprised squeak, her face going bright red. She clenched her hands at her side and stared at the ground, desperately trying to avoid looking at the boy's face again. She didn't hear him as he whispered her name, once, twice, three times.
She did, however, feel it when his fingers closed around her own for the second time in less than 30 minutes, squeezing gently.
"You good Rei?" he whispered again, glancing at Mari to make sure she remained unaware, "You made a noise like something scared you. Everything okay?"
Rei fought to bring her breathing back under control, succeeding faster than she would have thought possible.
Damnit, Ayanami! What is wrong with you? Where the hell did this come from all of a sudden?
She looked at up Kensuke, meeting his eyes and the genuine concern contained therein, and something clicked into place in her mind.
You know exactly where it came from, don't you…
She took a deep breath and smiled at the boy, giving his fingers a squeeze of her own. Kensuke let go of her hand, and Rei fought back the disappointment in her chest. They never noticed Mari glancing behind her, eyes widening and a wicked smirk spreading across her lips.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just slipped on the sand a little." Kensuke narrowed his eyes, bouncing the lie around his mind for a moment. He opened his mouth to challenge her answer when Mari called out, signaling their arrival at the beach. The walkway beneath them changed from concrete to wood as they stepped out of the wooded path, several groups of people making their way towards the village past them.
They made their way up the path, the sounds of the sea surrounding them now. A few seabirds took to the sky from a power line above them, their wings fluttering in the night air. The steady beat of ceremonial drums began to reach them, steadily increasing in volume. Faint whiffs of fried dough and various grilled meats tickled Kensuke's nose, his stomach growling despite the large meal only two hours past. Rei heard the rumble coming from the boy's midsection and giggled, Kensuke turning red in spite of himself.
They came across a small fork in the path, a map posted on the side of a brick building at the split detailing what awaited in either direction. Rei began looking around, her eyes widening as she found what she was looking for.
"Excuse me… But I've had to pee for about 20 minutes now, so I'm going to go take care of that," she announced as she sped off towards the small building, brightly lit signs indicating which side belonged to which gender. Kensuke and Mari looked on as Rei disappeared inside.
"So Kensuke, what're you gonna get me at the festival, huh?" Mari prodded at the boy, bringing herself to her full height, and looking up at him, "You said you were getting Ayanami a snow cone, but you didn't ask if Mari wanted anything."
She smirked.
"What is it, you too preoccupied with holding Rei's hand to think about little ole' me?" Mari couldn't help but laugh as Kensuke choked on his own tongue, coughing and sputtering as he tried to answer. He stared at her, eyes wide.
"Wh… What are you..."
Mari silenced him with a dangerous grin, teeth showing. "Oh, you think I haven't noticed, Kensuke? I've had a sneaking suspicion since we all three first met, and recent events have pretty much proven those suspicions right. So, how long has this been going on?"
Kensuke stood, rigid, as he desperately wished to be somewhere else. This was not part of the plan, what little plan there had been in the first place. Him and Rei were supposed to talk about this first, sort things out, then tell everyone at once. He stared at the Mari-sized wrench that had just been thrown into that idea, wondering what his next steps were, if any. She knew, and it was looking more and more likely that soon everyone else would too. His panic was written clearly across his face, and Mari wasn't helping, standing in front of him, her eyes drilling into, at least to Kensuke, what felt like his very soul.
"Mari, tha…"
"How long has what been going on?" Rei asked, appearing beside them. Kensuke's mouth clicked shut, his eyes widening as far as they would go, frantically looking at Mari, silently pleading for her to stay quiet. To her credit, she complied, in her own way of course.
"Nothing, Ayanami. It's our little secret," Mari lied, looking at the other girl and smiling, "But, if you reeeaallly want to know…"
Kensuke launched forward, grabbing Ayanami by the arm and pulling her forward.
"Don't worry about it, Rei. We… I'll tell you later. Promise. Mari is just being…." He glanced behind him, the brunette holding the lollipop in front of her face, attempting to hide her giant grin, and failing, "Difficult. It's nothing, really."
Rei looked at Kensuke and then to Mari, the twin-tailed girl giving her a wink that was about as far from the word subtle as it could be. The bluenette narrowed her eyes at her friends, a few dozen questions settling on her tongue, where they stayed. For now.
Kensuke let go of her arm once they were a good distance from Mari. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning his head back to stare at the sky. Too many thoughts ran through his head to keep track of them all, so he let his mind go empty, easing the tension in his shoulders slightly, tension that hadn't been there only a few minutes before. He needed to talk to Rei, and he needed to do it now, but he had the sneaking suspicion Mari wasn't going to let that happen, at least not right now. He needed to wait until she wasn't around, but who knew when that would be. He looked back down at Rei, and at the concerned look on her face.
"Kensuke, Mari is looking at us weird," she glanced back at the other girl, "I am… Concerned." The boy didn't bother looking for himself. He knew exactly what awaited him, so he chose the only thing he could: To ignore it, at least for now.
He patted Rei on the shoulder, offering her a sad smile. "Yeah, me too. Try not to let it bother you. I promise I'll explain later. Right now, though…"
He dared a look back at Mari.
"Let's get to the village. Those fried dumplings aren't going to eat themselves."
With that, Kensuke took off, Rei and Mari following. They all fell in together and walked side by side the rest of the way, Mari picking up where she had left off talking about her new favorite show, her two companions tolerating her rambling, laughing and responding where appropriate. As they neared the entrance to the village, they passed a small boarded up shack to the side of the path. They paid it little mind, assuming it was closed for a good reason.
Shinji, what...
Kensuke spun his head around, staring at the shack. Rei noticed the movement.
"Kensuke? Something wrong?" she asked, following his gaze.
He stared for a moment longer, narrowing his eyes before shaking his head and turning to Rei.
"Nope. Just thought I heard something," he saw the question forming on the girl's lips and swiftly jumped in front of it, "Come on, the village is just up ahead. I can see the entrance."
He didn't mention the flash of bright red hair he saw disappearing behind the shack.
() () () ()
"Katsuragi, you opened this can of worms. You can't expect me to just ignore it. We obviously need to talk about it at some point, why not now?"
"For the last time, I told you I don't want to talk about it!" Misato spun and started walking towards the beach, leaving a confused and more than a little frustrated Kaji standing in the middle of the walkway, his hands clenched at his side. He took a deep breath, looked around at the few stragglers present to witness his shame, and started after her, jogging lightly to catch up. He slowed as he drew up alongside her. He put his hands in his pockets as he matched her pace.
Misato threw him a dirty look but said nothing, huffing as she sped up slightly. He easily matched her pace, the years spent in the gym paying off in a not unexpected way. He kept quiet, staring straight ahead, only daring glances at her when he was sure she wasn't looking. To call the atmosphere tense would have been a monumental understatement. It was easily 30°C outside, but if things got much worse Kaji was afraid ice crystals might start forming around them. He had to do something, to say something, but he had the feeling anything he might have to say right now either wouldn't help at best, or at worst would send this situation plummeting lower than it already was.
The last time they had argued this badly had been right after college, going on eight or so years ago. That fight had ended about as badly as it could have. His choices that night had seemed perfectly reasonable at the time, which made the result that much more confusing and hurtful. His meticulously planned dinner on the beach, the (relatively expensive) bottle of wine, the speakers playing Misato and his favorite songs from a playlist. Everything had been perfect.
Until he pulled out the ring.
To his dying day Kaji would always remember the emotions that flashed across Misato's face in that instant. Joy had been the primary one, something he would keep tucked away for the days afterwards whenever he would get low. But then confusion had taken its place, and then something like anger, and then, last and worst of all, fear had settled onto her features. She had stammered out a response, an apology really, and gotten up from the table. Before he could reach out and grab her wrist, she had bolted back up the dune to the parking lot. By the time Kaji managed to break himself out of his stupor and rush after her, she was gone, a flash of raven hair disappearing into a taxi.
He thought about rushing home, and then quickly realized how badly that might go. He took his time packing everything up, the leftover food disposed of in some bushes, the wine bottle emptied and thrown in a recycling bin. By the time he made it back to their small apartment, she had almost completely emptied it of her presence, leaving only the pictures hanging on the walls, memories that now seemed tainted, retroactively haunted by the events of the past few hours.
On the table in the kitchen sat a small note, neatly folded and placed next to the glass vase that held a small bouquet of red roses, given to her that morning as a birthday gift. The note was short, simple, direct.
Sorry. Too much. Too soon. I'll call you. I love you.
Kaji snapped to, a gust of salty air blowing a small cloud of sand into his face and making him flinch. The memories had come unbidden, and unwanted, but there they were. He sighed, closing his eyes and lowering his head. He dared one more look at Misato. She was staring at him from the corner of her eye, her expression flat, almost uninterested. Kaji knew better. He cleared his throat.
"For what it's worth, I am sorry, Katsuragi. I'm sorry I sprung that on you back then. I knew better but chose to ignore that." Silence greeted him, so he let the words hang there for a while, knowing anything else he might say would only make things worse. However, for the first time in a long while, Misato surprised him.
"I'm sorry too, Ryoji. I…" She stopped, both verbally and physically, forcing the man to do the same. She folded her arms under her chest, suppressing a shiver. She let out a few short, sharp breaths before looking up at him, "I shouldn't have reacted like that. I was young and stupid and…"
"Scared," they said at the same time. Their eyes met, more than a little shock present within them.
Kaji sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I know, Katsuragi. I know you didn't want to get married, and I tried to push it. I should have read you better. I don't know why I thought you would have said yes…"
He grinned, sadly.
"Other than blind, stupid hope."
"I still shouldn't have let you down like that, Ryoji," Misato replied quietly, "I was so afraid, that I wound up hurting you. I abandoned you. I know the note said I'd call you, but I never did and..."
They stood there for a while, the ocean breeze gently whipping Kaji's shirt around his midsection, Misato's hat flopping in the wind. They stared at each other, their eyes glowing in the moonlight.
"Katsuragi, how has it taken us so long to talk about this?" Kaji asked, his eyes never leaving hers, "It's been nearly a decade since then. We've worked at N.E.R.V together for going on five years now, and we've just been avoiding this like the plague."
He sighed.
"I'm turning 30 in a couple months. You're not far behind me. We can't keep dancing around each other. We're not kids anymore, Katsuragi…" he stopped, shaking his head, "I thought I had put this behind me, but since leaving on this trip and watching those kids go through the same shit we did, I… I need to know if there's something, anything still there. Even a sliver. I've thought about this so much over the last 8 ½ years, and now…"
"Me too," Misato whispered, cutting him off. She lowered her head, hiding the moisture building in the corners of her eyes, "Don't think you're alone in this, Ryoji. I'm just as torn up about it, probably more so since I was the one who left. I… If there is something there, then I don't know what it is, I don't know how to describe it. It's… I look at you, and I see what I missed out on. And it kills me. And I wish…"
She stopped as two hands grabbed her shoulders, squeezing gently. Her head flew up, eyes widening as she found Kaji's face mere centimeters from her own, his own eyes glistening in the moonlight.
"You don't have to wish, Misato…" he whispered hoarsely, the woman blinking at his use of her given name, "For Chrissake, I've done the same thing so many times I've lost count. It doesn't have to be like before. Damnit, we can go slow, we can…"
Her eyes widened and he stopped, removing his hands, his fingers clenching open and closed a few times before running them over his face.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I'm…" he turned away, wiping tears away under the guise of pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm going to head back to the hotel. I think I'm done for the night."
He looked over at her, his eyes red, even in the low light.
"If, in the morning, you still feel like talking, then I'll be up for it. I… Goodnight, Katsuragi."
With that, he turned on his heel and started back the way they had come, shoulders slumped, hands thrust in his pockets. Misato watched him go, her heart pounding. Her eyes darted back and forth from him to the sand beneath her and back. She had no idea what to do. She hadn't signed up for this when she'd agreed to tag along on this trip. She wanted to ride roller coasters and pound colorful, overpriced drinks and lay out on the beach. This, though… Had she known this was on the menu, she would have stayed right where she was, at home, maybe going out drinking with Drs. Akagi and Ibuki, the three of them closing down more than one watering hole in a night.
Would you have stayed home, though?
She blinked. Would she have stayed, knowing what was going to happen? Knowing that she and Kaji would, after almost a decade, finally talk about it. Finally put things on the table and work it out? Would she have turned down that chance, the chance that was currently right in front of her?
I think you know the answer to that, Katsuragi…
She shook her head, small droplets running down her cheeks getting sent flying off into the night air. She clenched her fists, fought to control her breathing, failed to do so, and then made up her mind.
Kaji heard the footsteps bare milliseconds before a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a stop. He spun, his free hand clenching into a fist out of instinct…
And then immediately released it when he saw Misato standing there, her chest heaving slightly. Whether this was from running to catch up to him or something else he wasn't sure. They stood there for several moments, her hand warm on his wrist, even in the summer air. Their breaths came rapidly, chests rising and falling in sync.
"Katsuragi, wha…"
"Don't go…" she cut him off, suddenly unable to meet his gaze, "I… I'm not sure what 'going slow' looks like right now, but…"
She let go of his wrist.
"But I think I'd be willing to try it…" she whispered, folding her arms under her chest and chancing a look at his face. His eyes were locked onto hers, a small smile forming on his lips.
"Katsuragi, are you…."
"Yes. I… I'm so tired of this. I thought I was over us, but after today… I… I was wrong," she stared at him now, unwilling to look away, as though if she did, he would disappear, "Please… Say something, Ryoji. I nee…"
He responded not with words, but with actions. He took two quick steps forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, practically yanking her into him. Misato yelped in surprise and went stiff, until she melted into the embrace, burying her face in his chest. As much as she fought it, she couldn't stop as she let out a few quiet sobs, her chest hitching uncontrollably. Kaji wasn't doing much better, tears flowing freely and dropping into Misato's hair.
They stood like this for what seemed like hours, until they finally managed to bring themselves back under some semblance of control. They moved apart, their hands resting on each other's forearms as they smiled at each other.
"I'll take that as a yes, then?" Misato whispered, giggling slightly. Kaji nodded.
"Yeah… You could say that." He pulled her in once more, wrapping her in his arms. This time there was no crying, no urgency born from years of want. It was simply a hug, two adults embracing as though it were the most normal thing in the world. They separated after a bit, neither letting go of the other's hand.
"So, what now?" Misato asked quietly, leaning against the taller man, "Do we want to tell anyone? I mean, everyone else on this trip will find out soon, I imagine, but what about back home? What about Ritsuko and Maya and the others? They deserve to know…"
Kaji adjusted himself against her, draping an arm over her shoulders. "They do, and we'll tell them."
He paused.
"When the time is right. We said we were going to take this slow. If that means keeping it quiet for a while until we figure this out again, then so be it. This is for us and us alone, at least for right now. Okay?"
He looked at her as she did the same, their eyes meeting for what felt like the hundredth time in as many minutes. Misato smiled and nodded. "Ok, Ryoji. That works for me. For right now, I'm fine with this…"
She further pressed herself against him, pulling the arm around her shoulders down to take hold of his hand.
"But there will be more. I promise…"
Kaji blinked, raising an eyebrow. Misato winked up at him and giggled at the color on the man's cheeks. She didn't really care if he was embarrassed, after all her own face was surely a fair shade of red itself. She could handle that, especially now. Now that things were… Well, not back to the way they were, and a small part of Misato knew that they never would be, but that was fine. They could find a new normal, eventually. It would take time, time that Misato was fine spending, because it meant having Kaji back.
Scenarios started running through her mind, possibilities she had long ago push down and tried to forget. They could start going out to dinner again, laughing over bottles of cheap wine as they annoyed their neighbors. They could go to the movies, sit in the back of a mostly empty theater and make out like teenagers. They could get a house together; they could maybe even give the whole marriage thing a try.
They could have a couple of ki…
Misato's eyes flew open, and she shook her head.
Don't get ahead of yourself, Katsuragi. Just worry about the here and now. All that can come later.
Kaji looked down at her movement, gently poking her in the ribs with his free hand. "What was that? You kind of spaced out there for a second."
Misato's face turned redder in spite of herself and she looked away from him. "Nothing, just had some hair get in my eyes, don't wo..."
"You were thinking about what's possible now that we're back together, weren't you?" He grinned as her head whipped up to look at him, her eyes wide.
"Wha… No… How?"
Kaji chuckled, planting a soft kiss right between her eyes. "Because I was doing the same thing. It's okay, Katsuragi. We've got plenty of time to figure this out. Right now, though…."
He glanced at his watch, his eyes narrowing.
"We should start heading to the beach like we were going to earlier, before, well…. You know." He looked down at Misato and smiled, "Come on. It's starting to get late and that festival ends half an hour before the park closes. If we want to catch any of it tonight, we need to hurry."
Misato nodded and removed herself from his side before twining her arm through his, taking his hand and squeezing. They set off, their pace a little quicker than before. They chatted amiably; conversation suddenly easier, freer. More than once, Misato pushed up onto her tiptoes and pressed a small kiss against Kaji's cheek, almost unable to help herself. She enjoyed the feeling of his two-day old stubble, the way it tickled her lips. She giggled at his stunned expression the first time, his eyes wide, his cheeks bright red. He paid her back by waiting until she did it again, and turning his head at the exact same moment, her lips meeting his own. Misato blushed. Kaji winked. All was as it should be.
At length they exited out of the forest and onto the walkway running along the beach. The village sat a ways up the path to their right, and they set off that way, hands firmly gripped in each other's. As the neared the entrance, Misato suddenly stopped, her eyes widening.
"Katsuragi, wha…"
She silenced Kaji with a finger to her lips, before pointing up the path. Kaji followed her finger….
And smiled. Walking into the village entrance were three teenagers, one a boy with shaggy brown hair, with him two girls, one almost his height with shoulder length brunette hair done up in twin-tails, the other a shorter girl with neck length blue hair. They walked into the village and disappeared into the crowd.
Misato opened her mouth to comment when Kaji shushed her, pointing to a small boarded up shack beside the walkway. Precisely, he was pointing to the rear of the shack, where Misato caught a small flash of red as it moved behind the building. She narrowed her eyes before snapping them open and looking up at Kaji.
"Is that…."
He nodded, starting towards the shack. They crossed in front of it and quietly made their way along the side. They stopped when they heard a familiar voice.
"Ummm… Your breath tickles, and, uh, well…"
Kaji and Misato looked at each other, brows furrowing, and pushed to the rear of the shack. They turned the corner to find Shinji pressed against the wood of the back wall, Asuka pressing against him. The redhead's hands were clenching and unclenching at her sides. Shinji's mouth opened and closed silently, his own hands hovering uncertainly near Asuka's shoulders.
The girl opened her mouth…
"Shinji, I…"
Misato and Kaji looked at each other and nodded. They turned back to the teens.
"Well, well. What's this?" Kaji spoke up, his voice thick with mirth.
The two adults did an admirable job of holding in their laughter as the two teens sprung apart, Asuka launching forward while Shinji darted to his left, clutching a hand to his heart. Misato and Kaji glanced at each other and smirked.
"So, what was that?" Misato added, hands on her hips.
"Damnit!" Asuka yelled, fists clenched at her side, her chest heaving, "What is wrong with you two?!"
"Yeah!" Shinji added, slowly catching his breath, "Don't do that!"
He stood there for a moment, glaring at the two adults, his own chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes narrowed.
"Wait, how long have you been there?"
Asuka's eyes shot open, her cheeks darkening. "Yeah. What, and how much, did you see?"
Misato and Kaji glanced at each other, grinning. "Oh, I'd say we saw enough," Misato giggled, crossing her arms, "So, care to explain?"
The two teens locked eyes, their cheeks reddening. They looked away, staring everywhere but at each other or the two adults. Shinji kicked at a pebble in the sand, his hands in his pockets. Asuka folded her arms over her chest, tapping her fingers and staring at the ground. The silence went on for several moments before Shinji sighed.
"We were hiding. I yanked Asuka behind this shack so Kensuke wouldn't see us," he explained, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"And that required you two to be pressed against each other like two ham slices?" Misato replied, grinning stupidly.
Shinji stared at her.
"Like two… ham… What?"
Misato hiccupped.
"Igno…"
"Pffffftttttttt..."
Kaji stared at the woman until she stopped blowing raspberries.
"Ignore her, Shinji," he finally managed, barely suppressing a chuckle, "She… We have had a little bit to drink. She's… Not great at analogies when she's drunk."
"You're not great at analogies…"
"Anyway…" he continued, ignoring the drunk, 29-year-old child beside him, "Why were you hiding from Kensuke? Didn't you two want to find out who his mysterious friends were?"
Shinji and Asuka nodded, grinning despite themselves.
"Yeah. When I saw one of them was Rei I… Well, I didn't really think," Shinji replied sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his head, "I saw them before Asuka did and kinda panicked. I didn't want Kensuke to think we were spying on him…"
"Which we kind of wound up doing, anyway…" Asuka added, frowning, "We were so excited about seeing him with Rei that we kind of freaked out."
Her frown faded.
"I think I saw them holding hands…." she said quietly, smiling to herself, "If so, it's about time."
Shinji nodded, grinning. "Yeah. I see why he didn't want us to know who he was meeting. We would've never left him alone. Especially Toji."
Kaji nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Yep. That's why he swore us to secrecy."
"Okay, well now that we know who one of them is, can you tell us who that other girl was?" Shinji tried, looking hopefully between the two adults.
"Yeah. You might as well tell us," Asuka added, "We've seen her face, why can't we know her name?"
Kaji and Misato shared a look and nodded.
"Nope. We promised Kensuke we'd keep our mouths shut," Misato replied, smiling deviously, "And keeping you two in the dark is too much fun. Right Kaji?"
The taller man grunted an agreement. He grinned at the groans coming from the two teens before Misato cleared her throat.
"Okay, we've gotten off topic a little bit," she spoke up, looking between Asuka and Shinji, "You two still owe me us explanation for what we saw when we rounded the corner."
She grinned as both teens reddened, suddenly unable to look at each other. They stared at the ground, neither willing to speak first. Misato opened her mouth to keep prodding them when she felt a nudge at her ribs. She turned Kaji, the man shaking his head gently.
"Come on, Katsuragi. Leave them be," he raised his arm and glanced at his watch, "It's getting late, and we're supposed to meet Gendo and Yui at the main gate in about 20 minutes. It's going to take us at least that long to make it over there."
He smirked at the relieved looks on Asuka and Shinji's faces.
"We can egg them on some more tomorrow. Besides, the booze is nearly out of my system and I am starting to get sleepy," he managed to get out between a powerful yawn, "Come on, Katsuragi. Let's get going."
With that, Kaji reached out and grabbed Misato's hand, entwining his fingers with hers. There was a small gasp. He glanced at Asuka, the girl's eyes locked on to the pair of hands. She stood, dumbstruck for a moment before shaking her head. She nudged Shinji with her elbow, and when the boy refused to look at her, she reached up and grabbed his chin, firmly tilting his head down and to the side.
Shinji's eyes landed on the sight before him, and he froze before squinting and leaning forward. He rubbed at his eyes for a moment, glancing at Asuka for confirmation. She nodded once and turned back to the two adults.
"And just what, exactly, is that?" Asuka demanded, jabbing a finger at the offending sight, "You two… Are… What… How?"
Kaji glanced down at his hand, and, by extension, Misato's, and grinned. "It's something long overdue."
Misato managed to get the color in her cheeks under control and gulped before nodding in agreement. "Y…Yeah. We had a…. chat, and this is what came of it." She pulled their hands up and pressed them to her chest, squeezing tightly.
"We're not going to make a big deal out of it yet," she continued, looking wistfully at the entwined fingers pressed against her sternum, "And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to have to ask you two to keep quiet about this. At least for now."
Kaji nodded. "Yeah. We're not ashamed of it or anything, but we want people to find out on our terms."
Asuka narrowed her eyes. "If you don't want anyone knowing, then why show me and Shinji?"
Kaji chuckled. "Because I know how badly you'll want to tell everyone else, and making you swear an oath of silence just seems really funny at the moment. Whaddya say, Katsuragi? Wanna torture them a little?"
Misato chuckled. "Yeah. Seems only fair. You kept pestering us about who Kensuke was meeting, and now you have a juicy bit of gossip…"
She gave Shinji and Asuka her best Cheshire grin.
"And you can't say a word to anyone about it."
Misato's grin widened as Shinji clapped a hand to his head and leaned back, groaning in tune with Asuka as the teens stood fuming.
"That's not fair, Misato…" the redhead grumbled, crossing her arms with a huff.
"All fair in…" Misato paused and glanced up at Kaji. He met her eyes, his brow raising slightly. Misato smiled, "…love and war. Besides, we're the adults here, and technically your chaperones, so you kind of have to do what we say. And right now, we say keep quiet. That means no telling Hikari, or Toji or Kensuke. Don't tell your parents either, Shinji. We'll let them know before we leave the park to go home."
Kaji nodded and straightened, arching his back.
"Alright then… Let's get going. It's a long walk, and…" his eyes darted to Misato, the shorter woman meeting his gaze, "I'd like to talk with my…"
He paused, a goofy grin creeping up the sides of his mouth.
"…my girlfriend."
Misato's eyes shot open, and she lowered her head, desperately trying to hide the color in her cheeks. Asuka and Shinji groaned in unison, their eyes meeting for the first time since being discovered by the adults…
And they smiled.
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