Chapter 2
Authors Notes:
Connor's turn, what was he doing this morning. A small jump back that precedes and runs parallel to chapter 1. Not much dialogue in this one as it's all from Connor's POV.
6:45am
Connor was smiling. "Today looked to be a great day." He spoke to himself as he walked.
He had been excited all night, which made sleeping difficult. Tossing and turning, however he hadn't cared. Abby had asked him out for breakfast before work. They both agreed to come in late. Working at the ARC, being on call 24/7 allowed some flexibility especially when it came to coming in late on occasion. They both agreed to take advantage of this. His head had been racing all night.
He tired not to get his hopes up after that kiss. That kiss at the racetrack that has stunned him. But as always when Abby came to visit him a few days after, things had come crumbling down.
"I wanted to… ummm." Abby started. "I don't want anything to be weird between us."
That one sentence dashed Connor's hopes. It threw him into a deep depression. Though he'd never admitted it to anymore especially not Abby, but the others had seen it.
Both Sarah and Danny had both asked if he was okay. "I'm fine." Connor had answered trying to reassure them.
He couldn't tell them the truth, it would've had gotten back to Abby. So he did want he had always done, tried to make Abby happy while pushing his own emotions aside and drown himself into his work. It hasn't worked of course and all the while he tried to avoid Abby and the others. Thankfully there had been no anomaly alerts which made it a lot easier.
To say this was out of the ordinary would've been an outright lie. Connor didn't have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times Abby had lead him on only to push him away which is why he had stopped flirting with her and had resigned himself to just being friends, it was what she wanted after all.
But yesterday she had come looking for him. He had sealed himself away in Cutter's old lab which he had essentially took over as his own, often sharing it with Sarah when they used to work on the artefact together. No one had the heart to tell him it belonged to Danny now, but Danny had stated to Lester on numerous occasions he had no use for a lab.
"Connor."
Being deep in his work the last thing Connor had noticed was who the voice had belong to, looking up half paying attention seeing the petite blonde looking at him made his heart almost jump out of his chest. Not answering but just staring Connor was lost in a range of emotions he had been hiding from since that conversation a few days ago.
"Can we talk?" Abby had asked, unknown to Connor she was equally nervous dealing with her own range of emotions that she'd been running away from herself. But she knew Connor had such low self esteem if she didn't take charge and do something things would keep going on as they were and it was something she just couldn't take much longer.
"Sure Abs." Connor finally mustered the courage to speak. "What's up?"
Abby allowed herself a weak smile, hope filling her heart. "I was wondering if you wanted to meet for breakfast tomorrow, I have something important I want to talk to you about?"
And so here Connor found himself, bright and early on a Thursday morning, walking to the agreed Cafe. He'd had to admit he was still utterly confused by her behaviour.
When Connor had first met Abby everything made sense, she had shown no interest in him, chasing after Stephen Hart. Connor was used to chasing girls and never getting anywhere. He was a nerd and a geek, they rarely got the girl as nice guys always finished last. He was 25 and had only ever had two girlfriends, Caroline and one that was back in school. What happened with both of them had scarred him for life. Killed his self confidence and since then he found it hard to approach women. Not that he wanted to, after meeting Abby other women didn't seem to exist.
Caroline he never loved, she seemed nice at first and thought maybe something would develop and allow him to take his mind off Abby but that turned out to be a huge mistake. During that time he admitted his love to Abby, but the look on her face made him deny ever saying it. He knew quite well she had heard him, but she had pretended she hadn't. However ever since then she had shown him mixed messages, one moment she was almost throwing herself at him, then the next she was as cold as ice. After more than a few hurtful rejections where she insisted she wanted to be just pals he had finally given up trying to chase or flirt with her. He never knew if he was coming or going with her to be honest and he was tired of getting hurt. He loved her and deep down he knew he always would but she just didn't seem to return those feelings until the other day at the racetrack.
Turning the corner he saw the small cafe that they agreed to meet at. Checking his phone he was a tad early. They agreed to meet at 7am. He had parked his car around the corner. Finally deciding it was time to get his own so he didn't have to rely on Lester or anyone else to get to work. The short walk would help him with his nerves and not make him too early.
He was still pondering what she wanted to talk to him about.. Of course he had his hopes and tried not to get too excited hoping she wanted him to move back in or perhaps she wanted to be with him. But Connor was Connor and while he had a low self esteem thanks to women in the past, he still had his hopes and dreams and they all revolved around Abby and him being together.
Connor was nearing the cafe now and was about to cross the road into the cafe when he saw Abby, standing talking to someone. Abby was always getting attention it was something he was insanely jealous about when better looking and more confident men tried to pick her up. However rather than intrude Connor waited and watched.
That was a mistake, a few moments later that was when he saw it. Abby had hugged the stranger which was no big deal, it was only a hug but then the unknown man she was talking to had kissed her and Abby hadn't pulled away.
Connor couldn't believe what he was seeing. 'It all makes sense now' Connor's heart shattered. His legs grew weak. Tears were welling up in his eyes.
"I wanted to… ummm. I don't want anything to be weird between us."
This was why she said that after the kiss, why she wanted to meet him this morning before work. It wasn't to ask him out or ask him to move back in, it was clear why she hadn't already ask him back to the flat. She was dating someone else.
Connor had never felt so sick. His head spinning a million miles a second. How could she do this to him after that kiss. Playing with his emotions like he had none. He'd been there for her for 3 years whenever she need comfort, or a friend he knew stuff about her know one else knew and he never asked for anything in return and here she was snogging another man when she had asked to meet him.
Without another conscious thought he turned around and headed for his car, Abby never seeing him.
'I'm done, I can't do this anymore' Connor fumed to himself. 'I can't believe she'd be so callous'
He forced back his tears. This was it, this was the last time he was allowing Abby to hurt him. If she didn't want him that was fine, but to treat him like this, it wasn't ever going to happen again he decided. He knew deep down if Abby stayed in his life even as a friend he'd continue getting hurt. Connor couldn't handle this pain any longer. Clearly their friendship was more one sided than he had ever thought, those harsh words she had said to him in the future came flooding back.
"Danny's right." Connor agreed. They needed to come back with more firepower and men.
"You, too?" Abby glared at Connor, venom in her tone. He knew Abby was worried about her brother so he ignored her look.
"I'm just trying to be sensible." Connor explained.
"You've always hated him, haven't you?" Abby accused, yelling at him. "You'd be happy if he was dead."
Those last two sentences from Abby, with the hatred in them, cut Connor's heart. Is that really want she thought on him?
No he decided. Never again. It was time he grew up. Time for him to take charge of his life. Time to make the most difficult decision in his life but one he needed to make. He had to move quickly, he had made his decision. He couldn't do this anymore. He'd been hurt too many times he couldn't live like this anymore. It was just too painful. He was depressed so much these past 2 years. Hurt both physically and emotionally that if he didn't get out now, he didn't know what he'd do. One thing was for certain, he couldn't see her anymore it just hurt too much. It wasn't fair on him.
'I have to do this, there is no other way'
7:10am
Connor headed back to Lester's, as soon as he arrived he grabbed his laptop and a few things he needed stuffing them all into his backpack. The rest of his belongings, hell most of them were still at Abby's and right now he just didn't care anymore. His mind still racing and he was in a rush but he stayed quiet as he could hearing Lester in the shower. He had to be fast.
'Lester can do what he wants with the rest.'
Looking down he saw Sid and Nancy race up to him and he couldn't help but smile while fighting back tears. He was going to miss the two Diictodons. But they deserve to be looked after, they were like children to him. His and Abby's, well Abby's now he mused. At least at the ARC they'll have everything they need, Abby might even take them back she said the other day they could come home. At least at the ARC she would find them and he wouldn't have to face her, he couldn't. He'd say something he'd probably regret. He had to admit he'd never stop loving her but that didn't mean he had to face her after what she'd done to him again.
Looking at the clock he saw the time and swooped up the pair of Diictodon's and placed them in their carriers. He knew she'd wait at least until around 8am before heading to the ARC, but then he would be long gone, if he hurried.
7:45am
Connor sighed as he entered the ARC for what is to be he's last time. He nodded to the security guards and quickly dropped the Diictodon's off saying his last goodbyes to them.
'Sorry guys, I can't do this anymore, you'll be safe here. She'll find you and take you home to Rex.'
He was holding back tears. The pair had really grown on him the past few weeks. They were all he had and giving them up was so difficult. But he couldn't take them with him, there would be too many questions on what they were, where did they come from and they'd be a constant reminder of Abby.
His phone started to ring, bring him out of his thoughts, it was Abby. She was probably wondering where he was, why he hadn't arrived.
'Bit late now to worry about me.' Connor almost laughed at the thought.
Normally he would've answered but she had made her decision without any thought of his own feelings just as always. It was better for both of them if he was just gone. Not answering his placed his phone down on the bench and left. He could be traced and he just wanted to just disappear from this life. He couldn't face her or any of them as he knew Sarah and possibly even Danny might talk him out of this.
'No I need to go'
Moving quickly and with purpose Connor left the building and grounds heading for his car, noticing Becker's car in the car-park he knew his time of getting out without being seen was quickly running out.
"Goodbye." He muttered to no one in particular as he got in and headed for one more place in London before he made his way to Brighton. This was going to be hard, almost as hard as if he had to face Abby.
He quickly took off, not wanting to stay around in case Abby, Danny, Lester or Sarah showed up. It was about that time now.
8:15am
Arriving at his desired destination Connor walked up to the spot. He'd been visiting this particular spot for months. He never told anyone. He knew they'd understand but he didn't want their pity.
He sat down placing a bunch of flowers at the grave. "Hey Professor"
Tears started to well up in this eyes. This was hard. No one knew that he was there when Cutter died they all assumed he found his body. Even Abby hadn't even bothered to ask and she was supposed to be his best friend.
"I'm sorry Professor I can't do this anymore." Connor admitted. "It's just too hard."
'So is this'
"I know I'm letting you down, you'll probably call me an idiot, Abby calls me one enough without even caring that how hard it cuts me. But you are all right, I've been nothing but an idiot my whole life. It's time I leave. They'll find someone better to do my job. I've got nothing left here, now that you're gone."
Connor started to cry. Tears streaming down his face.
Cutter knew about his feelings for Abby, more than once Cutter and he spoke about it.
"Just tell her how you feel Connor." Cutter replied to his young student and now coworker. "She'll never know unless you tell her."
Connor sighed. "I already have, on that cliff, nothing changed."
"Connor, you had a girlfriend then." Cutter reminded.
Connor's shoulders shrugged. "She pretended not to hear it."
"Maybe she didn't, did you ask her?"
"No Professor, she just doesn't see me that way."
Connor smiled at the memory. He sure missed him.
"I promise I'll come back and see you, I won't forget what you've done for me, you're the father I never had. Thank you for everything."
Connor got up sighed and walked back to his car one last thing to do.
Pulling up at cafe on the motorway on his way out of London. Connor opened his laptop having accessed the free wifi and quickly wrote an email to Lester.
Lester,
This is my official notice of resignation. Effectively immediately I am leaving both the ARC and London. I thank you for the opportunity and especially for giving me a place to stay these last few weeks when no one else wanted me or even cared.
I wish you all the best of luck. Please say goodbye to everyone for me. I just can't do this anymore.
Sincerely
Connor Temple
After hitting send, and making sure the email was delivered he closed down the email account. He closed his laptop and started his long journey to the only place he knew someone actually cared about him, to Brighton.
To Be Continued...
