"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Danny got the plastic basin under Steve just in time.
Steve barely let out an ugh before another flood poured out of him.
"Jesus, babe, what have you been eating?" Danny asked.
He pressed the call button, as he fought a wave of exhausted desperation. He kept his shit together by reverting to Dad mode.
"Sssh, it's ok. I got you." Danny said as he rubbed Steve's back.
"Stinks," Steve replied.
He pushed away the swamped container. Danny kept it close, shoving down the urge to sympathy puke, because he was right on the edge. And he knew his best friend wasn't done hurling his guts. He'd learned from Steve's bouts with radiation sickness that he could vomit gallons without blinking. He did not know where Steve kept it all. He was worse than Charlie in this respect, and that was saying something. Scanning the room, Danny moved to grab a trash can, just in case, when their favorite nurse rushed in. And again, Kathy could read minds.
She swapped out the used emesis basin for a clean one and asked, "Steve, would you like something for the nausea? Dumb question, but I have to ask it."
"Yes." Steve replied before unleashing another torrent.
Danny just about cried at the careful kindness their nurse showed Steve. He backed up and let her do her thing, relief and gratitude washing over him. He could let some of his guard down.
"I'm gonna give you more fluids, too. Plus, it's time for your pain meds." She retrieved some supplies from a nearby cabinet and set up an IV.
"Thank you," Danny said. He could feel a tired string of babbling waiting in his throat. "You just don't know. God you're an-"
"Stop," Kathy replied, one eyebrow raised, "Don't call me an angel."
"Wouldn't dream of it. You're more like –" Danny paused, scratching his scruffy chin, lost for words.
"Xena," Steve blurted, his next breath a sigh heavy from the energy it took to say one word. He was rallying. Broke Danny's heart to see him push so hard.
She laughed. Her whole face smiled at the compliment. "Me? A warrior princess? I'll take it."
Kathy flexed both arms in an exaggerated pose. They all laughed until the vacant stare returned to Steve's eyes as he focused on not puking. He took slow breaths and lay back against his mound of pillows.
"There, now you rest. Let the meds kick in." She checked his IV, smoothing out a kink before squeezing Steve's hand.
"Is this normal?" Danny asked. He knew it was. Head trauma was a bitch. Sometimes you said things to fill a space. "I mean, I know it is, I just hate this."
"Unfortunately, I bet you're familiar with it, too."
Danny nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. His bruises and scrapes had scabbed and faded, but traces of them remained. He felt like a bug under a microscope as Kathy focused on him for a minute.
Then, Steve groaned and she broke eye contact with Danny.
"Rest. Both of you. I'll check back in an hour."
/././
The engine droned and then skipped a beat before cutting out altogether. Steve swallowed a mouthful of blood. He felt weighed down, arms too heavy to move. He needed to grab the controls. Danny couldn't fly. Fuck, he couldn't keep his eyes open.
"Gonna die, Danny," Steve said, words slurred, "Danny…"
"Steve."
The voice wasn't Danny. His heart pounded and his stomach flipped.
"What? " Steve blinked his vision clear. The lights were dim, and he knew he was in bed. Dreaming again. Something was missing. "Where is–"
"Steve," Nurse Kathy spoke softly, "You're safe."
He pushed himself to full alert. Which was a joke in his current state. One thing mattered. "Where's Danny?"
She pointed to his right. A cot had been set up in the room. Danny appeared to be unconscious. Steve's heart raced.
"He okay?"
"Yes, he's fine. I convinced him to get some rest. He didn't want to leave."
"I slept through this?" Steve waved at Danny and the small bed.
"Yes you did. I'm glad. You need your sleep."
"You're –"
"Xena?"
Steve laughed and replied, "You're definitely a warrior princess if you convinced Danny Williams to take a load off."
"He got a shower and shave, too."
"Wow," Steve replied, shielding his eyes from the not so bright light, "Now I really owe you –"
That came out weird. He hoped she thought he meant the shower and not the shave. A clean-shaven Danny did things to him. She didn't notice, or she didn't call him on it.
"Nope, it's my job, Steve," she said.
"Thanks, Kathy."
"Thank me by getting some more rest."
"Roger that," Steve replied and allowed himself to relax.
/././
Danny rubbed his eyes and rolled over. He ignored the pain in his shoulder. Getting a good look at his partner was first on his agenda. He huffed at what he saw.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," Danny said.
Steve flashed him a quick smirk and turned off the TV. "Could say the same for you, buddy."
"I'm not the patient here, and you didn't have to turn that off," Danny propped himself on his elbow, and then decided against it when an electric shock shot up his arm. His doctor warned him he might have some lingering nerve pain, but it always caught him off guard. He wouldn't let Steve know, so he sat up and asked, "How are you feeling?"
"I hate hospitals," Steve answered.
Frank and to the point. Grumpy Steve amused Danny.
"Who doesn't hate hospitals, babe?"
"Hospitals are like jail. You get three squares but they chain you to the bed." Steve raised his arm a little, tugging on the IV.
"Stop that, you'll pull it out. It should be done soon," Danny replied with a frown. "We've been in enough of them. Hospitals and jails…"
"Really only maybe 3?" Steve paused before adding, "Queens, Tripler…here."
"Okay then, let's get technical. You might wanna add Halawa and that shithole in Colombia."
Steve looked away for a second. Colombia would always be a sore subject. Danny almost kept going, but Steve changed the subject.
"You showered." And shaved.
He aimed those patented smile crinkles at him, and Danny sighed.
"You're quick, you schmuck. I bet Xena told you."
"Hey I have a head injury." Steve tossed a pillow at Danny.
Danny blanched and said, "This is a serious thing. A big deal."
"No bigger than what we've already been through, Danny."
"Glad you're so positive."
Steve stretched his arms, flexing his hands like he was testing himself. "It's a fact."
Danny slouched and propped himself on one elbow. He needed the pain now to clear his thoughts. "I did – uh - some research about PCS. Back when Grace –"
"I know." Steve's response was flat. He bent his knees, winced, and straightened his legs, wiggling his toes under the covers.
"You know?" Danny sat up. "How?"
Steve answered, "I saw your web searches."
Danny didn't have the energy to be pissed, but he said the words anyway. "You were spying on me?"
"Someone's gotta." Steve quirked a smile before sobering. "No, I didn't spy on you. You left a screen up once."
Danny deflated. He wasn't sure he believed Steve, but it didn't matter.
"You never said anything."
"I figured you were working through something. You'd talk when you were ready."
Steve's shrug made Danny feel warm. He had a feeling he was blushing.
"Thank you. For that. Space," Danny replied.
Time passed. They pretended to sleep, comfortable in their shared silence and twin beds.
/././
Danny jumped off a building and woke up to a softly lit room that smelled faintly like the boardwalk. His heart pounded and he told himself he was okay. He'd been dreaming. That was all.
Rubbing his eyes, he stretched. He'd never admit how thankful he was for this cot. Or maybe it was the company. He knew without turning his head that his best friend lay a few feet away. His hope that Steve was sleeping evaporated when he heard a muffled sob.
"Babe? You okay?" He kept his voice low, but firm, in case Steve was dreaming. "I'm here. You're safe."
"You always come for me, man." Steve didn't add anything else. He inhaled and exhaled through his nose; lips pinched together in the fight to tamp down his emotions. His eyes shiny with tears.
"Of course." Danny put his feet on the floor, testing his sore knee before getting out of bed. He replied, "Where else would I be?"
A little tilt of his head and Steve smiled, breaking the damn. Tears streaked his face. He didn't wipe them away. He played their usual game instead. Danny was okay with that.
"At home. Hawaii." Steve said.
"Your house."
"My –" Steve stopped again. "It's yours, too."
"I have a house." Danny closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't look at Steve when he added. "I didn't mean it like that."
Steve pulled his hand away. "Like what? You stated a fact."
"Look, I don't know what we're doing here. Not here – as in this hospital – but you and me."
"You're here."
"Yes, I'm glad your eye sight is working." Danny squinted at him, annoyance taking over for worry.
"Danny, you being here is all that matters. We'll figure this out together. House and all."
The confession made Danny itch. He rubbed his left shoulder and sat down on his bed. They were at a point of no return. Their usual joking and arguing wouldn't work. It was time to be honest.
Maybe they could find peace together.
/././
Peace wasn't what they found that night. Instead, a 90s sitcom played on the TV. The lights were only on in the entryway to their room. Muffled canned laughter and colorful shadows set the backdrop. Steve kept his arm over his eyes as he spoke.
"Ever since you stepped into my life –" he stopped and exhaled a measured breath, ever in a battle for control, his cheeks flushed with emotion. "Ever since…you."
Danny shifted his position so he could see Steve better. "Hey, it's okay."
"I have to say this. Please." Steve said. He held up his hand like a stop sign.
"Okay. Sure." Danny replied and zipped his lips. "I'll zip it."
Steve chuckled, his voice all watery but happy. "You? Zip it?"
"It's weird, right? It's how you know –" Danny squeezed his eyes shut. He had to stop. He might say too much for this time and space.
Reaching into the gap between them, Steve let a little alarm leak out when he asked, "Hey, you ok? Something wrong?"
"You, dummy. Otherwise, I'm fine."
"Me?" Steve raised an eyebrow.
"You put me through hell."
"I put you through hell?" Steve paused. Putting a hand to his chin, he tapped his lips and then added, "You could be right."
"So, this amuses you?" Danny asked, massaging his temples. "Let me get this out."
"Hey – me first. I started talking first."
Steve stuck out his lip in an exaggerated pout. He knew Danny couldn't resist, which pissed Danny off and delighted him in equal parts. Someone laughed on the sitcom, as if the TV thought this was funny, too.
Danny giggled, "Seriously?"
"Yes, remember, I'm the boss. Well, I was the boss. I don't know what I am now." Steve said with a shrug. He lay back, resting for a minute. Danny wondered if he was fighting a headache, maybe more nausea.
"You're something, alright. Go ahead," Danny sighed, "You're the one with the homefield advantage."
"Homefield? I've never been here." Steve wrinkled his nose, as he sat up again.
Danny waved his hand around the room. "Here. Not here here."
"Make sense lately, buddy?" Steve's teasing was warm and soft. He smiled and said, "I'm the one with the head injury."
Further flustered, Danny lay back against his pillows.
"A hospital. Doesn't matter where. You're the one in the bed." A slightly exasperated huff finished the thought. Because Danny was in bed, too. "I mean, you're the one here – because I'm in a bed too – you're here – You go. I just can't."
Steve looked at the ceiling and shook his head, licking his lips and laughing. His head was finally clearing a little and movement didn't make him dizzy. "I missed you, Danno."
"Yea me too, babe."
"More than you know."
"Don't go there. Just talk."
"What?"
"Tell me. What's in that scrambled head of yours?"
Steve closed his eyes.
"Wait, bad choice of words. Sorry."
With a nod, Steve began again, "Ever since you stepped into my life."
"Your garage."
"Small detail. Don't interrupt."
"Touchy." Danny held up his hands.
"You done?" Steve continued with a curt nod from Danny. "Okay, here goes. You've been my anchor. Holding me in place. I needed that or else I'd still be drifting aimlessly. If I was even still alive. Chances are –"
Danny made a pained sound, and then cleared his throat, but didn't speak. Steve continued.
"Chances are I'd be dead. You know I'm right. Hell, I can hear your voice in my head. You thought I was dead the first day you met me," Steve said, "Years ago. My missions – they were increasingly dangerous. I was just a tool –"
Danny snickered.
"Yea, that's right. I'm a tool. I said it. You happy?"
"I'll get back to you on that. Keep going. I'm listening."
"People took advantage of my skills, which was fine. I liked being needed. I never realized how much. It was this whole need for attention thing, I guess. What would our shrink say?" Steve said, shaking his head. His eyes watered. "But I didn't have a team behind me. Not like Five-0. I didn't have an ohana. People who love me. You gave me that. And you've also helped me – really you've forced me – to see myself."
"So, your leaving was my fault?"
"Maybe on some level."
"Great. I should have been punching myself instead of the wall."
They stared at one another, acknowledging the admission. Danny broke first, focusing on the fold of his covers, as he flexed his fists.
Steve shook off the intensity of the moment and kept going.
"Not like that. Look at me, Danny."
Danny met Steve's gaze but he didn't raise his head the whole way.
"I admit. I didn't execute my plan in the most efficient manner."
"You didn't execute your plan," Danny chuckled, "in the most efficient manner."
"That's what I said."
"You ran off to be with Catherine."
Steve flinched like he'd been struck and asked, "Is that what you think?"
Danny's answer came quick. "You were with her."
"For like five minutes."
"Two weeks."
"How do you – who? No, don't tell me." Steve frowned, overcome with a wave of anger. He snarled his next words. "How I chose to fix myself – it's none of your –"
"That's right. I'm not your business." Danny sat up straighter, his face hard. Eyes not hiding how much he hurt.
"That didn't come out right."
"There's been a lot of that between us. Things not coming out right."
"Danny. I didn't know she'd be on the plane. I was shocked. And then, she came back to my room. We had a few drinks. And suddenly two weeks went by and I don't know how the hell that happened. I lost time. I wasn't happy with myself. I'd promised –"
"Hey." Danny softened and dropped a bomb, "It's ok. I'm just a little jealous. That's all."
"Jealous? You? Never." Steve raised an eyebrow, thinking he'd make a joke until the full weight of the revelation dawned on him.
They were quiet for some time. The sitcom rolled into an infomercial, and Steve flicked off the TV.
"So I guess that's what you wanna tell me?"
Danny wrinkled his nose, letting aggravation show. "What I wanna tell you?"
"Yea, remember, you let me go first?"
"Oh yea." Danny sighed and rubbed his hands on his legs.
"Stop stalling."
"Stalling? You haven't finished what you wanted to say."
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, gritting his teeth against the obvious discomfort of broken ribs and an assortment of other injuries. Danny stormed right through his defenses.
"Why is it so hard for you, Steven?"
Eyes narrow and chewing on his lip, Steve studied Danny for a second before repeating the question. "Why is what so hard for me, Daniel?"
"Telling me how you feel. Sharing your emotions."
"We've been over this before, Danny. The men in my family."
Danny waved his hand in the air, shook his head and rolled his eyes all at the same time. "Yadda yadda. We've been here before. McGarrett men are super human and don't have time for emotions like us regular folks."
Steve glared at Danny, face almost lost in the shadows, but both men knew it was a front. Thick lashes couldn't hide depth of his love. Danny knew his best friend wanted to pull the covers over his head. Instead, he took a deep breath and confessed.
"You gave me the courage to leave. On my terms. For once. Your love did it," Steve lay his head back on his mountain of pillows. "There, I said it. Are you happy?"
"I get it. I understood." Danny sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't blame you for anything."
"I wasn't running."
Danny laughed. He had a flashback to a conversation with Lou that seemed like only days ago. The look on Steve's face told him he'd had a similar chat.
"Okay. Maybe I was running. I almost lost you. I was tired. I'd built so much. But it was all so vulnerable." Steve shielded his face with his hands, tugging on the IV. "I wanted a life without all of it. Because it was just too much to take."
"All that bad stuff? None of it was your fault. You work so hard to keep everyone safe. Even giving your life."
"But people were hurt because of me, Danny." Steve growled. "You were hurt."
Steve froze, chest heaving. Monitors noting the change. Danny glanced at the door, knowing they could be interrupted.
"Breathe, calm down. It's ok."
"It's not ok. It led to this. I've caused so much trouble."
"Do you know how selfish that sounds? This all happened because of you. You. Steven J. McGarrett. So, you decided what was best for all of us by leaving."
"Danny."
"No, stop. It's my turn."
The wall Steve threw up appeared impenetrable, if you didn't know him. Eyes fierce and dangerous, he scowled at his best friend through the mask of his fingers. Danny didn't back down. He climbed out of bed.
"Babe." Danny put his hands over Steve's and pulled them away from his face, movements tender and slow. "I'm not mad. I was never mad at you. I was just hurt. And I act like a schmuck when I'm in pain. You know that."
Steve gave Danny an amused and emotional nod, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"I'm just happy, relieved, that you're mostly in one piece." He intertwined his hand with Steve's. "Only you would go to East Orange, New Jersey for vacation."
"I wanted to –" Steve cleared his throat.
Danny handed him a cup of half melted ice. They were quiet for a minute or two, as Steve took a few hesitant sips.
"I wanted to see Seton Hall."
"Seton Hall? Why?" Danny scrunched his eyebrows softened almost immediately, as Steve's disclosure dawned on his exhausted, misfiring mind. "You wanted to see Seton Hall."
His mouth hung open. Danny didn't know why he was speechless. He wondered if he might be having a stroke. Except everything about the last 10 years had been leading to this. They both knew it.
"Your alma mater."
"I know what it is, Steven. Question is why would you go there?"
"Your old stomping grounds."
"You're something else, you know that? You leave me behi- you leave Hawaii and end up in Jersey. What is wrong with you?"
"Hey you told me to come here." Steve smiled and let a chuckle escape before he zipped his mouth shut with an exaggerated gesture. Danny smacked his arm, and Steve yelped. "Hey! I'm injured."
"You're something alright." Danny said. He backed up and perched on the edge of his cot.
"I'm in love with you."
"Steven." Danny was thankful he'd sat down.
Steve reached into the void between them. "Daniel."
"They musta hit you in the head pretty hard. Because it was you who told me never say those words unless –" Danny stopped. Who was he kidding? They'd been saying those words for years.
"Don't do that."
"What?"
"You. Making light of this. Don't deflect."
Closing his eyes, Danny sighed and found a speck of dirt on the floor that was somehow really interesting.
Steve took the opportunity to continue making his case. "I did some thinking."
Danny bit his bottom lip and didn't make a smart comeback. Oh how he wanted to say something.
Steve studied his friend, concern sliding in like the tide. "What? Hey? You okay?"
"No. Yea. I don't know." Danny squinted as if seeing things for the first time. "I spent so much time pissed at you. You left. And you went dark."
"I didn't go dark." Funny how worry flipped to aggravation in less than a breath. Their push and pull was a delicate dance. "You could call me any time."
"You didn't talk to me for 5 days. All I got was that emoji with sunglasses."
Steve replied, "I was pretty messed up when I first left, Danny."
"I know that. I don't blame you – for the 5000th time. I wasn't myself either. I-"
"Wait – I can't do this – our usual bickering - let's not and say we did, okay?" Steve rubbed his eyes and frowned.
"Okay."
"Thank you."
A cart rattled down the hall and both men turned, expecting an interruption. Voices rose and fell as staff walked past the room, and then it was quiet again. Neither of them spoke until Danny said softly. "I'm in love with you, too, you big dumb hero."
Steve twitched, but didn't gloat. "Hero?"
"I read the girl's statement." Danny paused, "I watched the video too."
"Video?"
"Bar owner had one hidden. Someone was dumping trash in his bin."
"Bin?"
Danny chuckled and said, "Yea small world. The detective's wife is British. He called the dumpster a bin."
Steve smiled, but didn't say anything.
"Anyway, yes, there's a video."
"It's that bad?"
Reality was tough to admit. Danny couldn't hide the truth from Steve though.
"Not your best day. It wasn't pretty."
"It's all blank."
Shrugging, Steve tried to blow it off. Danny just couldn't.
"I swear one more concussion, and you're a vegetable, babe."
Steve dropped a bomb that wasn't all that explosive to Danny. "That's why I'm retiring."
"You're retiring?" Danny tried to act surprised. He'd been expecting this. "I mean I knew you were walking the Earth in search of peace. Maybe like Jack Reacher. You'd help some folks in trouble. Which you did. But I thought you might be back."
"Jack Reacher?" Steve asked, eyes lost for a second in a daydream, "I kinda like that, but no. I'm done."
"Done. Just like that?"
"Not just like that, Danny. We've been over this."
"All that talk about you wanting to be a cop. You solved that old case in your sleep, for Gods sake. I thought you might still, you know, work with me." Hurt flashed across Danny's face. Reality, once again, rushed in to fill the gaps. He knew he was transferring his own anxiety about what happened next in their lives, but he couldn't help it. "We dumped the restaurant."
"Hey, that restaurant was killing you. Letting it go didn't mean I left you, Danny. Just like me leaving Hawaii wasn't a reflection of how I feel about you." Steve pressed his fingers against his eyes with a groan. He was done. Any gains he'd made by resting had melted into another headache.
"We should get some sleep," Danny said. He got up and stretched, pulling the curtains to peek outside. "It's been a long day…er…I guess it's still night."
"Okay, Danno."
Danny froze. A hollow place opened up in his guts. He couldn't breathe for a second. He kept himself facing away from Steve. It had been too long since he'd heard his nickname come from that mouth. His eyes burned, and he let the tears fall.
"Hey, look at me." Steve's voice was soft and rough. He too was crying.
"Aren't we a pair?" Danny gave him a snotty, congested laugh as he brushed the tears from his cheeks and swiped his nose.
"Here." Steve offered Danny the box of tissues from his bedstand.
"That'll cost me 50 bucks."
"It's on me." Steve made a show of looking around his bed. "If only I could find my wallet."
"Funny." Danny took the offering and blew his nose.
/././
Danny flicked Steve's hand away as he peeled tape from his IV site. He was punchy, and the part of him that loved to scold his partner came out. Steve didn't mind.
"You're almost done with that bag of fluid, Steven. Leave it alone."
Steve enjoyed the attention, but pretended he didn't. He replied, "I can't walk with it in, Daniel."
"Walk? It's still the middle of the night, Steven." Danny said. He looked at Steve like he'd grown an extra head. "No way."
Feigning innocence, Steve smoothed the tape on his arm.
"I need to do a lap."
"Lap?"
"Up and down the hall."
"First you need to finish sleeping."
"You too."
"Sure, you're right."
"I'm right? You're too agreeable. What's wrong?" Steve set down the remote control. "What aren't you telling me?"
Danny stretched his legs and rubbed his face. Steve knew he was avoiding something. He waited.
"My, uh, last physical after you left. It's, uh, borderline."
"Borderline?" Concern rose in Steve. Mixed with a tiny bit of terror. "What does that mean?"
"As you know, I've been shot twice. One of those times punctured a lung." He raised his hands and said. "Stop before you get how you get. I'm fine. I'm just not 25 anymore. Hell, I'm not even 35. The doc called it diminished lung capacity."
Steve exhaled slowly through his nose. He couldn't look at Danny. Danny wasn't supposed to be diminished in any way.
"Hey." Danny grabbed Steve's arm. "Stop it."
"No." Steve covered his surprise with anger. He hadn't realized Danny was on his feet again.
Danny caught the flinch, and thankfully didn't call Steve on it. He replied, "No? You're not gonna stop with the Aneurysm Face?"
"This is why I'm retiring. That life – Five-0 – took so much from me."
"I'd like to look at it another way. As I see it, Five-0 gave us a life."
Steve wrinkled his nose and made a show of looking around the bed. He asked, "Who are you? What have you done with my partner?"
Shining like the sun, Danny's smile lit up the room. He couldn't help it. Something changed forever in that instant.
"Funny," Danny replied, feeling warm all over, "I can't even believe I just said that. But it's true."
"So, you're gonna retire too?"
It was more a request than a question. Like Danny retiring would make it okay for Steve.
"Maybe. I don't mind the office stuff."
"Paperwork?" Steve acted like Danny was trying to feed him something gross. Like Brussel sprouts.
"Leave the rough stuff to the kids. I can still use my mind."
"You've always been an incredible detective."
Danny twitched, not really smiling.
"I mean it, Danny. I've been impressed from day one. Why do you think I picked you?"
"My sparkling personality."
"Uh huh. Sure. Keep telling yourself that, partner."
Steve's smile was as big as the ocean. Danny matched him.
/././
It didn't take them long to get serious again. Both bleary-eyed and exhausted.
"You gave me your liver." Steve rambled like a drunk man, "Your fucking liver."
"Half my liver." Danny corrected him. "The best half."
"Without hesitation."
Danny swallowed, jaw now tense. Steve fought his own nerves and fumbled on with what he had to say.
"We never really talked about it."
Looking pained now, Danny obviously didn't want to talk about this. Steve had some things he wanted to say.
"Your landing – which was impressive, by the way - was so like what I would do. But you did it without any training. All for me."
Tears collected at the corners of Danny's eyes. Steve wanted to wipe them away.
"It was big, Danny. That gesture. It was too big."
"I know, babe. But there was nothing else to do." Danny put his hand on Steve's thigh, squeezing for a split second before hobbling back to bed. "I'd do it again."
"I know you would."
"Sleep."
"You, too."
"Tomorrow we'll be at my folks' place."
Closing his eyes, Steve whispered, "Sounds like paradise."
/././
Steve held onto the railing with one hand. Hard white knuckles showed his determination. He was frustrated and a little woozy. Why was this so difficult?
The hall was empty. He'd seen Kathy head toward the nurse's station with a coffee. Danny had gone downstairs to make some phone calls. The coast was clear.
If Danny caught him, he was a dead man. But he wanted to be sure he could walk before he did this officially. His head throbbed and his vision blurred in and out. He felt like he might puke again. The world went a little wobbly, and he stumbled, shoving a wheelchair that was in his way a few feet. The noise of it was loud in his head. Steve thought he might go down. Then, warm familiar hands supported him.
"Here, let me…I got you. We gotta do a lap, right?"
We. Steve's chest clenched at the word. He cleared his throat and answered, "Yea. One or two."
"Always an over-achiever," Danny said. He moved closer to Steve, pressing their bodies together.
Steve suppressed a shiver and replied, "And a control freak. Don't forget that."
He could feel Danny's laugh on his bare skin. His legs went a little weak. Danny was there to rescue him as usual. Steve leaned into his friend, feeling those warm hands tighten their grip.
"Yes, you're a freak, alright. Like ninja GI Joe and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Come on. Keep moving, you idiot."
/././
"I see from your records this is nothing new for you. Recovery from severe injury seems to be a theme. Except for one thing. This time, it's your brain."
"My brain." Steve squinted a little at the doctor. Danny couldn't tell if he was stalling because this was big. Different. Sure, Steve had healed from injuries before, but this one was more complicated.
"From what I can tell, you've suffered multiple concussions in recent years. Looking at your scans and medical records."
"I'm fine, doc. I always follow protocols."
Danny coughed.
"Normal protocols don't matter now. We're on a new course. PCS can be tricky, frustrating. I'll check in with your primary care physician back in –" The doctor checked the chart on his laptop. "Hawaii. Man, you're a long way from home."
"Sightseeing."
"Seton Hall grad?"
Steve smiled and pointed to Danny. "He is."
"Ah, okay," The doctor replied, "Well, you have some work to do. This may be a longer road, if you don't adhere to therapy. Even then, it will test your resolve."
Nodding, Steve swallowed hard and said, "Yes sir."
"Good. Think of your training. You need that discipline. And patience."
Again, Danny coughed.
"Do you have something to say, Daniel?" Steve frowned at his best friend.
The clueless doctor turned to Danny and said, "Please, Danny. Steve's gonna need you. Do you have any questions for me?"
The familiarity gave Danny chills. When doctors use your first name, you listen.
"I – uh –" Danny rubbed his hands on his pants. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes, doc."
"That's what I like to hear from a –" the doctor paused, glancing back and forth between the two men, "It's good when partners are part of the healing process. Post Concussion Syndrome can be tough. It's often one step forward and three steps sideways. Steve will need you."
/././
"Stop," Steve said. He put his hands on the wheels to arrest their movement. "I'm ditching this chair."
"You promised Kathy. You want her to get all Xena on you?" Danny replied with a laugh.
"You really think she believed I'd listen?" Steve rose slowly, testing his balance.
Danny tried to hover without hovering, if that made any sense. "You've got a point, babe. Easy. Slow. Take it easy."
"I need a sec," Steve said. He wandered over to the bank of large windows. The atrium was filled with soft late morning light.
Danny followed. He held his breath. This moment was fat with anxiety and exhilaration. He had the overwhelming feeling he was about to tumble over the cliff. Steve leaned against the window ledge, as he scanned the city spread out before them.
"Not the best view, babe. Not like home."
Steve turned to face Danny and said the corniest line ever. "It just got better."
"You are such a –"
"What? An idiot for coming here? A Neanderthal for breaking up a fight?"
Shaking his head, Danny didn't take the bait. Instead, he took the leap.
"A year ago –" Danny cleared his throat. "A year ago, I never thought we'd be here."
"Jersey?" Steve fought the urge to grin. Danny could tell. Sometimes, Steve's eyes gave him away.
"Smart ass," Danny replied. He nudged Steve and smiled, reaching up to brush away a wayward strand of his hair. "You need a haircut."
"You don't like it?" Steve sounded so shy.
Danny answered, "Sure, it's ok. Fits you."
Steve chuckled. "Yea, it does."
He raised his head, catching Danny's gaze. Those blue eyes were rimmed red from tears and lack of sleep. A slight raise of his eyebrows was his question. Danny's answer was a wider smile. They moved at the same time, except this was unlike anything they'd ever done together. Their lips brushed and then parted. They shared a breath before melting into a kiss. Danny broke away, hand to his mouth. A flash of insecurity from Steve and Danny leaned in again, taking charge and deepening the kiss.
Steve pulled away and laughed, "And you call me a Neanderthal?"
"Takes one to know one, babe."
With a nod, Steve went back for more, stopping only to whisper in Danny's ear.
"This is on our terms."
/././
Thank you all for following me on this journey. This has been quite the story. And now it's ending…sooner than I planned. My life has gotten busier, and my interest in the show is waning. The biggest reason, though? I lost a chunk of this story when I switched cell phones. What a sinking feeling that was. Ugh. Of all the things I forgot to back up. My notes app. So this is it. I have some short scenes and deleted stuff I will share with you. There may also be an epilogue if I have a copy of a really special scene. One of my betas may have it! Cross your fingers.
