Chapter 5
Bella's POV;
I felt so guilty when Edward told me that Evie had asked about me. I was a little embarrassed about my freak out after my nightmare too. Edward hadn't done anything to make me distance myself, my insecurities had made me send that text.
I was trying to figure out what I'd send back to him when Oliver started fussing in his bassinet. I lifted him and felt the weight of his nappy. I grimaced and laid him down on a changing mat on the floor before kneeling down and changing his nappy. He kicked his little legs while I changed him, gurgling at me while I talked to him quietly.
When he was changed and dry I lifted him onto my knee, supporting his head with my hands and his back with my forearms. I looked into his chocolate eyes and cooed at him. My little boy was gorgeous. But I worried about him; he had no male influence whatsoever. Maybe if I was friends with Edward he could be that for Oliver.
I sighed and placed Oliver back into his bassinet, giving him the fingers of my left hand to play with. I pulled out my phone with my right and sent Edward a message.
Meet me at the park in an hour.
That gave me just enough time to change into some jeans and a jumper and put Oliver into his booties, hat and thick jacket. I put him into his pram and tucked his blanket around him before packing a few essentials into a bag. I hoped we wouldn't be out for too long otherwise I'd need to express milk or feed Oliver from my breast.
I put my boots on and shrugged my coat on before heading for the door. I walked at a leisurely to the park breathing in the crisp air and looking for Edward every so often. I reached the park and stopped right where Evie barrelled into me yesterday. I checked my phone. I was 5 minutes early. I shrugged and walked over to a nearby bench before lifting Oliver out of the pram and cuddling him to me while I sat down.
I looked up from Oliver and saw Evie running towards me with Edward chasing her. I stifled a chuckle and smiled widely at her. She waved wildly at me and tried to haul herself onto the bench next to me. I held Oliver to my chest with my right hand and wrapped my left around Evie's little body so I could lift her up onto the bench. She immediately scooted closer to me so she could see Oliver. I turned him to face her and she offered her hand to him which he grasped and tried to put into his mouth.
"Evelyn Grace Cullen! What did I tell you when we left the house?" Evie looked guiltily to her Dad and hung her head.
"I'm sorry Daddy, it's just I saw the baby and I wanted to play with him. I won't run again." God she was so sweet. She hopped off the bench, walked to her Dad and wrapped her arms around his right leg. He bent and lifted her into his arms.
"Don't do it again Evie, you know Daddy doesn't like it when you run off." She nodded again.
"Sorry Daddy." Edward cuddled her close to him and kissed her little cheek.
"Hey Bella." He smiled at me and my heart did a little flip in my chest. "Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else? We could go for a walk or get something to eat?"
My stomach growled at the sound of food and I blushed, pretty sure Edward had heard it. "Food sounds good, where do you suggest?"
Edward stopped and thought for a minute which gave me the opportunity to take in all of his features. When he turned back to me I quickly averted my gaze back down to my baby who was looking around trying to take in the bright colours around the playground.
"There's a sandwich shop not too far from here, we could walk there in like 5 minutes." I nodded and stood before putting Oliver back into his pram. Oliver protested to it though and started wailing. I lifted him back out and started rocking him. He quieted immediately when I lifted him up but started wailing as soon as I put him back into the pram.
I looked to Edward helplessly.
"He wants me to carry him. Would you push the pram for me?" Edward nodded and grasped the pram.
"Evie, come stand with Daddy and hold onto the pram." She toddled over and wrapped the fingers of her left hand around the pram before looking to me and offering me her right hand. I looked at Edward for approval and he nodded. I reached down and let her wrap her little hand around two of the fingers of my left hand while holding Oliver tightly with my right.
We reached the shop that Edward suggested in a few minutes and got ourselves a little table. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich and Edward left Evie at the table while he went to place our order. Evie sat next to me and played with Oliver talking to him about how pink was the best colour. I chuckled at her. It was adorable how gentle she was with my baby.
Edward came back to the table with our orders and I put Oliver back into his pram. This time he didn't protest to it and gurgled happily. I picked up my sandwich and almost moaned at the first bite. Evie and Edward both tucked into their sandwiches too and soon enough we'd finished. Edward went back to the counter to get ice-cream.
I could feel my breasts getting heavy and groaned inwardly. I needed to nurse. Shit. I could feel milk leaking from my breasts and winced at the discomfort. Edward came back at that moment and saw my wince.
"What's wrong Bella?" I blushed and looked down.
"It's time for Oliver's feed and I haven't pumped since this morning." He looked bewildered. My blush deepened. "I have to nurse him to relieve the pain." I whispered it but from his facial expression I saw that he had heard.
"What do you want to do Bella?" The pain increased and I knew I had to nurse Oliver immediately.
"Would you ask them if I can breastfeed here?" He nodded and smiled at me.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of Bella, you're giving your son what he needs. It's natural." I nodded at him and reached for Oliver and his blanket while Edward went to ask the manager if I could breastfeed. I took Oliver jacket off and settled him into the crook of my arm. Evie leaned over my arm and started making faces at him and I laughed at his little smile.
He returned a minute later and nodded to me before turning his back. I laughed at him and he turned around with a look of confusion on his face.
"What?" I laughed harder.
"Edward I breastfeed in public all the time, you won't see anything. You don't have to turn around. But you can if you want." I realised after I said it that it sounded a bit forward and I flushed again. I threw the blanket over me and Oliver before lifting my t-shirt and unclasping my nursing bra. I led left nipple to Oliver's mouth and sighed in relief as he latched on and the pain ebbed away.
I looked up to see Edward looking at me oddly. I raised my eyebrow in silent question and he blushed. Evie inched towards me.
"What's Ollie doing?" I grinned at her nickname for him.
"He's eating Evie." She looked at me quizzically. "Want to see?" She nodded and I looked to Edward for confirmation before I lifted the blanket a little so she could see him latched on. She gasped.
"Is it hurting?" I laughed and shook my head. I felt Oliver unlatch and tucked my breast back into its cup before lifting Oliver to my shoulder and rubbing his back until he let out a burp that made Eve chuckle. I switched sides and encouraged Oliver to latch on which he did eagerly. I looked up to Edward who was looking at me oddly until I realised that I hadn't put the blanket back over myself and he could see a little bit of my breast. I blushed and fumbled for the blanket, draping it over me and Oliver.
"Sorry," I muttered. I couldn't bring myself to look back up at Edward. Oliver moved his head away from my nipple and I made sure that everything was in its proper place before moving the blanket and burping Oliver again. I looked up and saw that Edward was giving me that odd look again with Evie falling asleep in his lap.
"Why are you looking at me like that Edward?" I looked at him quizzically and he blushed a little.
"I'm sorry Bella. It's just that I wish that Evie's Mum had given a shit enough about her to be a proper parent to her. She refused to nurse her you know. And seeing you nursing Oliver, it just brought home that even though I love Evie more than anything and I give her everything she needs I couldn't give her what you give Oliver." I gasped in shock and disgust.
"Evie's Mum walked out on her?! How could she?" I managed to keep my voice level so that I wouldn't wake either of our children. Edward looked surprised at my outburst and I blushed before I transferred Oliver from my shoulder to the cradle of my arms. "Sorry, it's none of my business."
"No its okay, you're right. She was an awful, selfish person. Seeing you with Oliver shows me how a real Mum would be with her child."
"Thank-you." I blushed and smiled.
"This was fun, we should do it again. I should Evie home though, she had her nap a little later than usual and now she'll be asleep for at least half an hour."
I nodded at him and manoeuvred Oliver into his jacket before putting him into his pram and tucking his blanket around him. I stood up and turned to Edward who was standing with his arms wrapped securely around Evie.
"Thank-you for today Edward. I'll text you later?" He nodded and grinned at me before holding the door of the shop open.
"Bye Bella." I waved at him and turned left towards home while he turned right.
He thought I was a good mother to Oliver and said that he wished Evie's mother had been like me. It was exactly how I felt about Jacob. Maybe this could work.
I hoped it could work.
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