Next chapter done!

Enjoy! ;)


Chapter 24: Lord of the Underworld

[BGM: Eryth Sea – Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition]

Despite Skyworld still being in ruins, it was at least stable enough for the gang to stay in due to the quick repairs already going under way. At the courtyard, Palutena watched the centurions fixing all the damage as she sighed to herself; she couldn't believe that she had caused so much destruction when the Chaos Kin was taking control of her body, and so it might take a long while for the entirety of Skyworld to be back the way it was before. And what's more, while Skyworld could be easily rebuilt, trust was a different matter entirely. Once again, because of the Chaos Kin's actions, Palutena knew that people now distrusted or feared her. It will definitely take a while for the people to trust her again, but then again, that was one thing about being a goddess: not everyone would like you.

Then, she snapped out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps from behind as she turned around to see the gang walking up to her. "Oh, hello everyone." she greeted them with a smile. "Don't worry, reconstruction's going along nicely." she glanced over at Pit. "And how are you feeling, Pit?"

"Much better, Lady Palutena." Pit replied. "I guess now I know how Eight felt about surviving a near-death experience."

Eight's eyes shot wide. "Pit!" he scolded. "Don't drag me into this!"

"Why? It's the truth, isn't it?"

Eight sighed. "Well, yeah… Forgive my scolding. It's just that…I don't really want to be reminded of that again."

"…I understand. Sorry about that."

"So how about you, Palutena?" Jewel asked. "We never got to ask you how you were feeling since you came over to Pit while his wings were burned off."

"Oh, right." Palutena said. "I'm feeling alright… well, I mean, not quite… I still have some guilt washed over me." she cresfalled sadly at the last sentence.

The gang knew what Palutena was talking about, leading them to frown as Pit walked over to her and patted her shoulder. "The humans from that town have been through a lot." he began. "It'll take some time, but I'm sure that they'll trust you again and pretty soon this will be nothing but a memory for most."

Palutena sighed somberly. "Optimistic as always, huh? But that's not all…" she faced the gang. "Everyone, I'm… I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" Shulk asked.

"For everything." her voice began to quaver. "If I hadn't gotten myself possessed, none of this would've happened: all those deaths from the people in the town, Skyworld getting destroyed, Zelda's soul being taken, Pit burning off his wings and nearly dying… D-do I need to go over more…?" and with that, tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Palutena…" Zelda whispered sadly.

"…No." Trifle suddenly spoke up sternly, causing everyone else to glance at him in surprise. "Don't you dare blame yourself for all of this, Palutena. We did NOT go through all that hell just to hear you throw a pity party. Plus, if anyone is to blame, it's the Chaos Kin. That thing was the real monster behind these events, not you. You did not want any of this. But it's all over now."

"I know that, but I can't help it." Palutena sniffled. "I…I just wish we could go back to after we defeated the Aurum. Everyone at the party was smiling and laughing, no one was hurt."

"I know you do and so do I." Pit said. "But someone once told me, you can either let the past kick you around or you could learn from it and move on. We can't change what's already happened, so all we can do is move forward and better ourselves."

Palutena let Pit's words sink in, and after that she took a deep breath and wiped off her tears. "You're right. I really needed to hear that from all of you. I guess being through a lot led to some development consequences for you."

Pit chuckled. "Maybe so."

[BGM End]

"Well, anyways… We now have more pressing matters at the moment." she turned to Pit. "Pit, go get the Three Sacred Treasures."

"Aye aye, Lady Palutena!" Pit saluted and ran off.


Later…

The gang ran to the gates, where Pit kicked open the Sacred Casket to equip himself with the Three Sacred Treasures. "Equipped again!" Pit exclaimed and then Palutena gave the group the Magic Wings before they all took off outside.

[BGM: Lord of the Underworld – Kid Icarus Uprising]

"It's finally time for you all to square off against Hades. Are you ready?" Palutena asked.

"We are SO ready!" Pit replied enthusiastically, he and the group opening fire at several Monoeyes. "I even carbo-loaded and everything!"

"Great!" the gang continued flying around the sunset skies, taking out some other Underworld baddies such as Splins, Monomiknoses and Paramushes. "Hades has overstepped his boundaries by exploiting and desecrating souls. He's disrupted the balance between the earth, the heavens, and the Underworld. He must be stopped. YOU ALL must stop him. It's a tall order, but if anyone can do it, I have faith that you can!"

"You can leave it to us!" Arusu smirked.

"In the name of the heavens, the earth, the humans, and the souls bound for the afterlife… We WILL defeat Hades!" Pit declared.

"YEAH!" the group exclaimed.

"Go now, everyone!" Palutena said as she accelerated their wings.

"With pleasure!" Pit replied as they all descended through the clouds and into a desert-like region, taking out scores of Underworld troops as they did.

"I wonder if we'll be taking the exact same path we took when we were going after Medusa previously?" Eleven wondered.

"Well, Hades is also from the Underworld, so I believe we will." Melia replied as they soon flew down a ravine.

"So where's his castle?" Pit asked as they descended further into the ravine and into a deep underground cave.

"Hades doesn't have one." Palutena answered.

"What?! The lord of the Underworld can't even afford a roof over his head?"

"No, no, it's not like that. This is his realm, so he could be anywhere in this darkness. Or everywhere."

This definitely led to an uncomfortable pause on the gang's end. "So… he probably knows we're coming." Eight gulped nervously.

"Then…what's the plan?" Shulk asked.

"Just stay alert, everyone. I can sense Hades's presence surrounding us." Palutena tensed up.

"Uh, that's great intel…" Pit trailed off. "But do you think you could be a bit more specific? Just a little bit?"

The gang flew down further, now arriving into a bloody red tunnel filled with purple orbs with strange green markings all over it. The gang didn't know what these were, and so decided to avoid them as they kept flying, until the whole area became completely dark. Everyone was nervously sweating a little, looking around with their weapons at the ready to shoot anything that would dare show up in front of them. What did show up in front of them was Hades, who just popped up from absolutely out of nowhere.

"Hello there!" he bellowed and threw a punch at them.

"AUGH!" they yelled as they managed to dodge the punch, but were blown back by the shockwave it created. This was their first time seeing Hades up close, with his titanic size easily rivaling that of Medusa's.

"I've been so looking forward to your arrival… especially yours, Pitty Pat."

"Hades!" Pit exclaimed.

"Pit!"

"Hades!"

"Pit!"

"Hadeeees!"

"Piiiiitttt!"

"It's ON!" both proclaimed at the same time.

The group sweatdropped by what just happened. "Well… that happened." Solo remarked, and then the gang proceeded to battle Hades by shooting him, but strangely, their shots seemed to have no effect as the god of the Underworld barely reacted to their blows.

"That's all you can do? It's only giving me the tickles!" Hades teased, and then took a closer look at Pit. "Ooh! Do I spy with my little eye the Three Sacred Treasures?"

"Even your darkness can't hide from the light!" Pit roared as he and the others kept firing, hoping that at least one of their shots would harm Hades.

Hades began to slowly crouch, pulling one of his hands back. "Now isn't that just… PRECIOUS!" he unleashed a powerful uppercut on Pit.

"Ah-oooooooooooh! Ungh!" Pit screamed as he was sent careening back by the blow, not realizing that Hades's punch had obliterated the Three Sacred Treasures and thus he was back to his normal attire.

"PIT!" the group yelled.

"Now that felt good!" Hades grinned.

"Pit, are you okay?!" Zelda asked in concern once Pit managed to recover.

"I-I'll live…" Pit groaned.

It was then that Palutena let out a gasp. "Not the Three Sacred Treasures!"

"What?! NO!" Pit cried, having now just realized that he wasn't equipping them anymore.

"Not quite so tough now, are ya?" Hades teased.

"Now what do we do?!" Trifle questioned.

"We still fight him without the Three Sacred Treasures!" Jewel said.

The gang noticed Hades pulling back his hand again, and so they quickly moved out of the way just in time as Hades unleashed a flurry of punches, and then they proceeded to repeatedly shoot him again… only for him to seemingly disappear.

"Huh?!" Pit blinked. "Where'd he?! Augh!" he and the others barely avoided a claw swipe from Hades, who had in fact teleported to their side.

"Having fun, you all?!" Hades taunted, teleporting to the front again.

"Oh, put a lid on it." Palutena groaned.

"Yeah, shut up!" Pit threw in and fired a charged shot from his bow directly in Hades's forehead.

"Yowwwww!" Hades cried in pain, clutching onto his forehead while reeling back a bit. He then let go to glare at the gang. "You know what? You're all looking mighty tasty! Down the haaaaaaatch!" he suddenly opened his mouth and a vacuum of wind appeared, sucking the gang towards his gaping mouth.

The gang screamed in horror. "No no no NO NO NO NO!" Pit yelled as they all frantically tried to escape, but the force of the vacuum was too strong.

"Get out of there, everyone!" Palutena called out desperately, but it was all in vain as the gang neared Hades's jaws… and then the whole screen went black as a swallowing noise was heard.

[BGM End]


"Ugh…" Pit groaned as he slowly rose to his feet, and looked around to see himself trapped in a strange place: the walls and floor appeared oddly organic. "Uh-oh…" he trailed off, and then he heard groaning nearby as he looked over to see Trifle and Eight lying by and slowly coming around.

"Nnngh…" Eight groaned and looked around. "Where are we?"

Pit looked up at the ceiling to call out to his goddess, "Lady Palutena? Can you hear me? Hello?" no response. "I guess she can't hear me." he said to the pair. "Wait a minute… Where are the others?"

"I have no idea…" Trifle shrugged. But just then, they heard some squishy noises as they looked over to see gelatinous blobs that resembled the Handora monsters coming towards them. "Well, we'd better start wiping out bad guys." Trifle said, and so they proceeded to open fire on these strange Handoras, which were in fact known as Cellular Handoras.

"These guys are like grosser versions of Underworld monsters. Blugh!" Pit shuddered in disgust upon taking notice of the Cellular Handoras' appearance.

[BGM: Hades's Belly – Kid Icarus Uprising]

"Oh, my. Don't tell me you're still alive!" came the voice of Hades.

"Hades! Where are we?" Trifle demanded.

"Why, in the belly of the beast, of course!"

The trio immediately paled up in horror as they suddenly felt ill. "Oh, no!" Pit exclaimed.

"Oh, yes!"

Eight's face went green. "I'm going to be sick…!" he clamped his mouth nauseously.

"Me, too. Well, there's more than one way to get rid of a bad chicken nugget and raw pieces of meat. Maybe I should just expel you the old-fashioned way."

Pit's eyes widened, knowing fully well what Hades meant by that. "No! Please don't do that!"

"Can't stop now!" aaaaand the whole place started shaking violently.

"Nooooooooo!" Pit screamed. Mercifully for them, the rumbling quickly stopped.

"Whew. This is more difficult than I expected."

"Oh man, this is NOT how I want to go out!" Eight panicked.

"I know, right?! That would be the opposite of a hero's death!" Trifle threw in. "Plus, I want to marry my beloved Jewel first before going out like this!"

[BGM comes to a halt]

Pit and Eight froze, glancing over at Trifle in surprise. "…Did you just say…?" Pit asked.

Trifle's eyes shot wide, immediately realizing what he just blurted out. "…Crud." he lightly blushed. "Well… at least Jewel didn't hear that."

Eight then patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with us." he assured with a smile, before changing back to the more important subject. "Now uh… how do we get out of here?" he wondered while looking around.

"Well, we could go over to his a-"

Trifle suddenly grabbed Pit by the scarf. "DON'T. EVEN. SAY IT." he scowled, complete with insane and crazy-looking eyes that made Pit a bit scared.

Eight sweatdropped. "Yeeeah… For Trifle's sanity, let's NOT head there."

Pit sighed. "Fine. I wasn't really looking forward to heading there anyways." Trifle then let go of him.

"There HAS to be another way out…" Trifle muttered.

"And perhaps we can find the others along the way!" Eight said.

"Right. Let's move!" Pit said.

[Resume BGM]

With that said, the trio walked down the passageway where they were attacked by more cellular enemies, those being Cellular Monoeyes and Cellular Komaytos. Their progress was further impeded when pink cell walls suddenly popped up in front of them.

"What are these? Cells?" Pit wondered.

"We'll just bust through them." Trifle said as they did just that, using melee attacks to destroy the cell walls and move further until they arrived in a large room.

"At this point, heading up has gotta be better than heading down…" Pit began… until he and the others realized just where 'down' meant, causing them to feel ill again.

"Ugh. Sooo… Gross…" Trifle groaned.

"You really shouldn't have mentioned that…" Eight nauseously said as they moved forward, hitting a green cell wall to lower it as a makeshift bridge and do the same to two more green cells up ahead to get up to the upper level. There, they fought off some Cellular Blusters and Cellular Handoras and continued on, but after they got up another staircase where they found a Cellular Snong, two Cellular Handoras and two Cellular Komaytos, a purple barrier blocked the way ahead.

"We're trapped!" Pit exclaimed.

"All right, no panicking. Just gotta focus on defeating these enemies." Trifle told him.

But then, Eight noticed that the enemies were looking down at a certain portion of the floor as if they were pestering something on it. Looking closely, he discovered something that made him gasp. "Guys, look!" he pointed, as that something turned out to be two KO'd guys on the ground: one of them had teal hair and was wearing a golden helm, and the other one had blond hair. "It's Solo and Shulk!"

Trifle and Pit gasped as well. "We have to save them from these monsters!" Trifle exclaimed.

"Alright, here goes nothing!" Pit said and cleaned his throat, catching the Cellular monsters' attention as the angel began his rally cry as usual, "Cells of Hades, hear my words! And, um…see our actions!" unfortunately, he began to slip up, "Uh…something something…We're going to rain death on you! I can't remember all the words, but that's the general gist." in the end, this earned a sweatdrop from Trifle and Eight… and also from the Cellular monsters.

"My innards have so longed to hear your battle cry. How could you forget the words?" Hades asked.

"I didn't have time to rehearse! I've been busy fighting evil, OK?!" Pit retorted, and then he and the princes proceeded to take down the enemies.

"Nngh…" it was at this moment that Solo and Shulk started to wake up and come around, as the trio heard their groaning and turned over to them.

"Hey, you're awake!" Pit smiled as Trifle went to help Shulk up, while Eight helped up Solo.

"Yeah, but… Where are we?" Shulk asked.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Trifle replied. "But right now, we've got to find the others."

"Right." Solo nodded. "Let's go." they then went forward as the barrier that was blocking the way out had disappeared, going up a cell elevator and defeating two Cellular Skuttlers and two Cellular Gyrazers they encountered on the upper floor before they resumed walking.

"If only Lady Palutena were here to help us. She'd be so grossed out." Pit said.

"Speaking of which… How come you two aren't grossed out?!" Trifle questioned to Solo and Shulk.

"Actually, we are… We're just trying not to think about it too much." Solo replied.

"Considering how collected Solo is, he's really doing a good job at it…" Eight thought.

"So, is there a way to get out of here?" Shulk asked.

"Well, there is ONE way… but that's not how we're planning on getting out." Eight answered.

"Exiting through there is the one thing I NEVER want to experience in my life…" Trifle muttered.

"Anyways, I'm still wondering why Lady Palutena can't hear us." Pit interjected.

"Unfortunately for you, I have a stomach of steel." Hades replied.

"So that's why I can't communicate with Lady Palutena."

"And you're just lost without her to do all the thinking for you, aren't you, Pitty?"

"She doesn't do ALL the thinking. I have ideas too. Occasionally."

"Then answer me this, little angel. Why exactly are you and your goody-goody friends trying to defeat me?"

"We're all responsible for maintaining a certain order in the universe. As lord of the Underworld, you know this better than anyone. But your greed has thrown everything out of order. You've overstepped your bounds by exploiting and desecrating souls. And you've disrupted the balance between the earth, the heavens, and the Underworld."

"I'm impressed by all the big words you used, but I didn't ask for a sermon. Did you come up with that all by yourself, or did you have some divine inspiration?"

"Like I said, I have ideas too. Sometimes." with the conversation done, the gang went up another elevator only for two Cellular Handoras, two Cellular Komaytos and a Cellular Igniot to ambush them. "Augh!" Pit flinched. "No need to lurk all creepily!"

"Pit, pull yourself together. We're all here with you." Trifle assured, before declaring, "Out of our way, monsters!" and so, they all proceeded to decimate all the Cellular monsters together. After that, they went up another floor via an elevator, and as they were fighting off some Cellular Skuttlers and Cellular Komaytos, Pit spoke up:

"You know, despite the situation we're in, I'm at least glad that we have each other to keep company. I mean, if I were by myself, I'd probably start to lose it and talk to myself… and probably mimic Lady Palutena or Viridi."

"That's great and all, but about your last sentence… why on earth would you do something like that?" Solo asked.

"It's not something I like talking about…" Pit sighed, seemed to be bothered a little.

Everyone then moved down the path, avoiding a Monolith that patrolled the passageway, and at the end of it, they came across a large area with what was probably Hades's stomach acid (the thought about that possibly being it was enough to make the gang cringe and pinch their noses) far down below… but the oddest thing about this area was that there was a grind rail above this large body of liquid.

"Uh… how is there a grind rail in here?" Eight wondered. Despite the odd sight and never the ones to look a gift horse in the mouth, the gang hopped on the grind rail and began riding it.

"Weird. I thought grind rails were, like, a gift from the gods." Shulk remarked.

"I'm hurt." Hades said with mock indignity. "Have you forgotten that your dear friend Hades is a god too?"

"But why would you help us get to our destination?! What's in it for you?!" Pit questioned.

"Always the optimist, Pitty Pat. Who's to say this grind rail goes anywhere at all?"

The gang paled up. "Uh-oh." Pit gulped, regretting the question he made.

"Just relax and enjoy the ride. Wherever you go, I'm sure you'll all be dead."

The gang had no other choice but to let the grind rail take them to wherever it got in store, while they were defeating more Cellular monsters along the way… and just then, they looked over at one of the room's islands to see a group of four people battling a few Cellular Monoeyes, Cellular Gyrazers, and a Cellular Shildeen.

"Hey! It's the others!" Eight exclaimed, and luckily for them, the grind rail would be taking them to said island.

"…But I don't see my cousin among them!" Trifle panicked, fearing the worst for her again as they soon joined the quartet, whom you would have guessed, consisted of Jewel, Eleven, Arusu and Melia.

"Oh hey, boys!" Jewel greeted once she and the others with her finished taking down the monsters. "We were just battling a few baddies and doing a bit of exploring!"

"…You mean we were trying to find a way out of here." Melia corrected with a deadpan look.

"I know, but if there's no exploration, there's no finding a way out subject."

"She actually has a point there." Arusu stated.

"Well, anyways, we're glad you all managed to find us." Eleven said. "But where's Zelda?"

"That's what we want to know." Solo replied.

Trifle looked incredibly worried now. "Zelda's not here either…" he murmured shakily. "Oh please tell me that she didn't go out already!"

"Hey, no need to worry, Trifle. We will find her somewhere." Eight assured him. "Besides, you know how much Zelda is stronger than this. We just saw how much power she has as Hylia when she helped us take down the Chaos Kin, so there's no way she'll let herself get digested alive that easily."

A smile formed on Trifle's face. "You're right…" he nodded. "My cousin wouldn't go down that way." he turned his head to the next grind rail. "Let's keep going and find Zelda… and also a way out of here."

The others nodded and they all hopped on the grind rail… only that this one seemed to go on forever. "This grind rail just keeps going… And going and going and going." Pit complained as they rode it into a very long tunnel. But soon enough, they finally reached the end of the grind rail and ended up in a strange area: compared to the rest of Hades's body, this area appeared much less organic and instead resembled a circular room surrounded by a swirling vortex.

"You know, Pitty and friends… I'll miss you when you're gone." Hades said… and all of a sudden, he proceeded to literally punch himself through his gut in hopes of hitting the gang from the inside.

"AUGH!" they yelled as they barely dodged Hades's fist.

"What the hell?!" Arusu exclaimed as they were dodging more punches.

"Ha ha ha ha! Surprised?!" Hades laughed.

"Uh, yeah! How did you just punch yourself on the inside?!" Arusu questioned.

"Aww, now you're making me feel bad. And when I feel bad…I get hungry." and just like that, the whole area began to shake as the gang witnessed several pieces of buildings and rocks falling down into the room, including some regular Underworld troops.

"Waaaah! What is all this?!" Pit asked frantically as he and the others started attacking the monsters.

Trifle was having enough. "STOP eating things!" he shouted at Hades. "It's bad enough that you eat souls!"

"But souls are delicious. They're like bacon – they taste good on everything." Hades replied.

"But if you eat them, you completely remove them from existence!" Eleven cried. "They can't move on or…or be reincarnated!"

"Huh. I never really gave it much thought. Besides, what do you mean by reincarnation anyway?"

Eleven blinked in complete disbelief. "…You, a god, never heard of 'reincarnation' before?! It's…you know, an act of being reborn as someone or something else! Take me, for example! I'm the reincarnation of the previous Luminary Hero that once existed several years ago! I may not have the memories of his life, but his soul lives on within me!"

"Or even Zelda, the mortal form of the Goddess Hylia, as another example!" Jewel added. "Heck, we even saw Hylia herself in person when Zelda's soul was taken away by the Chaos Kin! Hylia might not have a physical body anymore, but she still exists within Zelda's soul and thus she didn't get erased from existence!"

"So you mean that souls would find their home in a different body, with different memories, and different experiences, yes?" Hades asked.

"EXACTLY!" Jewel shouted. "That way, they can continue living on as generations pass!"

"…But then isn't being reborn as 'something else' the same as being 'removed from existence'? I didn't see any difference whatsoever in your statement there."

"I… I…" Jewel stammered, trying to come up with a counterargument but couldn't.

Eleven growled in frustration. "You didn't get it AT ALL! Eating souls isn't right!"

"That depends on your definition of 'right'. All living things survive by eating other living things." Hades stated.

"So what? You're a god. You should be above all that!" Pit pointed out.

"Gods are above living things, which doesn't necessarily mean we care about them."

The gang gasped in horror upon hearing that from Hades. "Did he just say…?!" Solo asked in surprise.

"Oh great, we have another Zanza…" Shulk thought bitterly, thinking back about that selfish and hypocritical god who used to reside within him and once tried to destroy and recreate all life in his universe. Next to him, Melia also had a similar thought.

"I can't believe you just said that!" Pit snapped.

"Why, it's true." Hades said. "Look at the other gods. Viridi tried to exterminate humanity. Pyrrhon tried to use the Aurum to take over the world. And even Pretty Palutena has some blood on her hands."

Pit's eye twitched. "Don't you DARE go there!" he scowled. "Pyrrhon was an idiot, Palutena was just under the Chaos Kin's control, and Viridi only tried to exterminate humans because you tricked them into going to war!"

"Oh, poor Pitty. Idealistic as always even when in the cosmic scheme of things, nothing you do has the least bit of significance. Even if you and your friends defeat me, so what? It's in the human nature to go to war. You might be able to beat me, but you'll never be able to beat human nature. As for this me 'tricking' the humans as you mentioned, I merely just gave them a reason to fight. They didn't have to listen to me in the first place. But as you might expect, humans will fight for ANY reason given, be it stupid or not. Sometimes, I even question their existence in the first place. Yet here we are, you desperately trying to see the good in humanity while you have human friends with you to further prove your point… but you should know that they are no different from all the other pathetic humans."

That actually caused Pit's friends to fall silent, because Hades, admittedly, had a valid point. Meanwhile, Pit had paused for a bit with his fists clenched as Hades's mocking laughter rang into his furious ears. Finally, after what it felt like hours, the gang looked back up with angry expressions, and each of them proceeded to give their own short rants to Hades:

"Humans aren't perfect… but gods like you are far from different." Shulk.

"It's true that we're no different from every other existing human, but the reason we don't do bad things is due to our morality!" Eight.

"And while you're right that we humans do fight for any reason… at least WE know when to stop! As for you, you NEVER do!" Arusu.

"You say that humans are greedy monsters, but it's your greed that's the cause of all this suffering!" Melia.

"As I once said to a certain goddess of nature before, humans don't exist in this world only to destroy! Every living thing existing here has a purpose!" Eleven.

"And by eating souls and not allowing them to live on, you're throwing off balance not just to life, but to the whole world too!" Jewel.

"You never cared about who you hurt as long as you get your way of getting everything you want." Solo.

"You threaten both humans and gods alike, and that's why everyone is against you. Would any human be stupid enough to even worship you? No!" Trifle.

"And thus, in the name of the living and the dead, we WILL destroy you!" Pit.

"Ugh, you're all so boring. I really wish you'd leave." Hades groaned, not seeming to care at all about their given rants. "Unfortunately for you, there's only one way out."

That was enough to cause all of the gang's bravado, especially Pit's and Trifle's, to disappear almost instantaneously. "No no no no no!" Pit panicked.

"Cheer up. You've been PRIVY to a side of me that no one else has – my insides! And now you'll be privy to the inside of a privy too. TootleLOO!"

"OK, OK, fine! I give up! Please spare us! PLEASE!"

"Obeying the call of nature is part of the cycle of life. Tell me, you all, why do you hate life?" and with that, he was done.

"Nonononononono… I don't wanna go out this way!" Pit whined as he and Trifle both fell into fetal positions on the floor and trembling, while the rest of the gang looked down at them dumbfoundedly.

"This is it, then… I'm going to have that memory of being defecated haunting me for the rest of my life!" Trifle cried, having anime-like tears running down his cheeks.

It was then that Arusu walked over to them. "Hey… HEY!" he shouted, slapping them both in the face.

"OOOW!" both yelled, rubbing the spots they were slapped on.

"Quit your whining already!" Arusu scowled. "We're going to get through this one way or another, and if it means going out of that… then so be it. Because I am NOT going to be living inside this body for a second longer!"

"And we still need to find Zelda!" Melia added. "So put on your big boy pants and get moving!"

Trifle and Pit exchanged glances with each other, before slowly nodding and getting back up. "R-right…" they replied in unison.

With that, the gang went through a tunnel that led them to a hallway whose floors were decorated with the Underworld insignia. As they were going down further into the hallway, another rumbling suddenly happened, making the gang stop in their tracks. "Hm? What's that?" Pit wondered, he and the others looking around.

Hades sighed. "Viridi can't seem to mind her own business. Pardon me, if you will. I must go entertain my guests."

"Hello?" Pit called out, hoping that the Forces of Nature would hear him. Unfortunately, no response came. "If Viridi's army is attacking, they're doing it awfully quietly."

"Well, at least she's doing something… and knowing that toddler of a goddess, she'd probably call us slackers for being in here." Trifle said.

"Totally." Pit agreed. "Anyways, let's just keep going." they then walked forward… and after going through a door at the end of the hallway, they saw the last member of their group, knocked out cold.

[BGM End]

"Zelda!" Trifle exclaimed and ran over to her. "Zelda, Zelda!" he called, gently shaking her.

"Mmm…" Zelda mumbled as consciousness slowly returned to her, and then she opened her eyes. "Trifle…?"

Trifle smiled. "Zelda! You're okay!" he hugged her. "I was so worried!"

Zelda couldn't help but giggle in response and returned the hug. "Don't worry, I'm fine. What matters is that you found me."

"Looks like the whole gang is back together again." Pit said with a smile.

Zelda broke away from the hug upon hearing Pit's voice, and looked over to see the rest. "Oh, guys!" she beamed while standing back up. "Um, where are we?"

"In Hades's belly." Eight sighed.

"Oh…" Zelda breathed, and then she heard a gag from Trifle. "And I presume that you didn't take this quite too well…"

"I'm just glad you're okay." Trifle said, not wanting to go on with that subject any longer.

Zelda smiled. "Same to you and everyone else." glancing at the door behind her, she readied her bow and said, "Let's see what lies beyond this door!" everyone else nodded and they all ran through the door.


The door led them to a large room that looked a lot like a Bomberman-styled maze, where they came face to face with the strangest sight: a cycloptic creature with a singular yellow eye and colored like a starry sky, and also sported two stubby legs and two long tentacles.

"What…the heck…is that?" Trifle asked, completely weirded out by that creature.

Then, when the creature let out a loud sound that sounded like a heartbeat, Pit hazarded a guess, "Are you Hades's heart?" the Heart said nothing in response and ran off away from the gang. "Wait! Come back here!"

[BGM: Boss Fight 1 – Kid Icarus Uprising]

"Are we seriously going to fight that?" Trifle questioned.

"I guess we have to." Solo replied. "We better hurry and catch it."

"Then let's scramble around! We'll catch it easily if we cover each portion of the maze!" Jewel said as they did just that, with Pit going directly where the Heart took off to and seeing it up close again.

"Huh, it's actually pretty cute." Pit admitted. "Especially when you compare it to his…bowels." he starts shooting at it, as it would attack back by leaving homing mines at him. Pit reflected the mines with the Guardian Orbitars as they exploded on the Heart, forcing it to leap up to the leftmost part of the maze… only to be left cornered by Arusu and Zelda.

"We got you now!" Arusu grinned… but before he and Zelda could open fire at it, it suddenly split itself into two, much to their surprise. "It can duplicate?!"

"That's one trick I never thought I'd see from a sentient heart…" Zelda remarked as the two Hearts leapt over her and Arusu and ran in opposite directions.

The clone Heart then ran over to Jewel and Eight, who were both covering that part of the maze, but then the clone started flashing yellow, leading Jewel to gasp as she knew what was about to happen. "Quick! Get above the wall!" she exclaimed, and she and Eight quickly climbed up the wall of the maze right as the Heart clone exploded in a cross-shaped set of flames that extended in all directions.

"Whoa! That was close!" Eight exclaimed, and then he and Jewel got back down into the maze.

Meanwhile, the real Heart was running around the portion of the maze being covered by Solo, Melia, Pit and Shulk and so the four immediately started shooting at it, and while they were doing that, Shulk began to say, "You know… I always thought using souls to create monsters was evil… But at least those souls are being used in some other life."

"Hades and the Underworld have taken this too far. They've stolen so many souls that they're disrupting the proper balance of things." Solo threw in.

"It's just like what Viridi says about humans disrupting the balance of nature. But it's worse than that because Hades threatens the earth AND the heavens!" Melia added.

"He has to be stopped! And the only ones who can stop him are Lady Palutena and us." Pit finished.

After receiving so many shots, the Heart became enraged and began to charge around the maze rapidly and repeatedly, nearly knocking down Pit and narrowly passing by Eleven and Trifle.

"Wah!" Eleven yelped. "I never knew hearts could bust a move… how is that possible?!"

"I have no idea!" Pit said as he came running in. "But it seems almost wrong to destroy that heart… that adorable little heart. Aw, it's so cute!"

"Call it cute as much as you want, but remember that this is Hades's Heart." Trifle reminded.

"Right…" Pit sighed as everyone resumed their tactic, until Melia had the idea to just bind the Heart in place with Shadow Stitch, and then everyone gathered over to the same spot to start wailing on the Heart with melee attacks and charged shots, until it could take no more and fell to the ground defeated.

[BGM End]

"Your heart wasn't even in it!" Pit smirked, causing everyone to groan at that bad pun.

"Goddammit, Pit…" Trifle facepalmed.

Just then, the Heart swelled up and exploded spectacularly, with the fiery explosion destroying the entire room itself and sending the gang flying into the air.

"Whoo-oa-oa-oa-oa!" they screamed… when all of a sudden, a white streak of light zipped in and caught them all, then it charged out of the area via a small hole.

"Ugh…!" Hades grunted in pain as we cut back to outside, where the streak of light just burst out of Hades's chest as the god clutched it while doubling over. He then watched as it was revealed that the streak of light that snatched up the gang happened to be the Lightning Chariot, being driven by Dark Pit.

"If it weren't for that explosion, I never would've found you all." Dark Pit said to the gang.

"We're sure glad you did!" Pit replied, he and the others being thankful for the dark angel.

"It's good to see you, everyone!" Palutena's voice came.

Hades glared up at the Lightning Chariot, his eyes glowing red in rage. "That wasn't very NICE!" he reached out his hand to grab them, only for Palutena to whisk them all away just as his hand closed around them.

"Good-bye, Hades!" she said quickly.

Hades pulled his hand back down and opened it, releasing nothing but a few feathers belonging to the twin angels. He then scratched his chest a bit, which now had a glowing wound left by the Lightning Chariot. "That really hurt." he said. "But hey… At least I'm not dead!"

To be continued…


Those who played the original game might remember that there are several portions in the chapter's ground mission where Pit would impersonate Palutena and Viridi. Sadly, I couldn't add that in since it wouldn't make sense in context (he only imitated them due to slowly losing himself for being alone, but in this adaptation he has company with him). So even if I couldn't add it, I'd at least reference it.

Oh, soon enough you'll be dead, Hades... Really soon... Well, see you all in the next chapter!