Chapter 5: Departures
After watching Callie leave the room, Arizona had dropped back into a chair and taken a couple of deep breaths. How could this be happening? Of all of the operations, why did it have to be this one? Hands down her biggest case to date and one that she needed to be 100% focused on would now be spent in the company of the woman who had flipped her world upside down.
The blonde felt a lump start to form in her throat and knew she needed to get her shit together fast. She grabbed her laptop and quickly headed out of the conference room and into the nearest washroom. Once alone, she stood by the basins and closed her eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths while gripping into the cool ceramic.
The second her eyes closed she saw Callie. Saw those brown eyes. God, those deep brown eyes that nearly seven years ago had looked at her with a level of sadness Arizona hoped she would never see again.
Her eyes shot open in an attempt to remove the brunette's image from her mind. Instead, she stood there for a few moments and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The last time they had seen each other, Arizona had been 25, eager to experience all the challenges and adventures that awaited her.
As she wiped a spot of smudged mascara off her face she noticed a new worry line on her forehead and cursed herself for not having made more effort with her appearance that morning. Callie had looked as radiant and stunning as ever, like a day hadn't passed by like, she was still the 24-year old that had walked into the room they shared whilst at training camp.
Virginia - 2013
On her first day at Camp Peary, Virginia, which was affectionately known as The Farm, Arizona had been one of the first to arrive. She had known from the age of sixteen that she wanted to join the CIA. She had never wanted to follow her father and brother Tim into the Armed Services, instead of fighting the enemy, she wanted to use her intelligence to identify and disarm them, whoever they may be. She loved the idea of working abroad and liaising with other agencies to stop terrorism before it happened and had studied psychology with languages at Master's level at Stanford, and had secured a place on the training programme before she had even graduated. Everything Arizona had wanted was coming true now and she was super excited. Super!
Having unpacked, the blonde was lying on her bed, reading the introduction pack and course content for their nine-month training when the door to the room burst open, followed by her new roommate. Looking up she was met by a tall, bronzed Latina woman with a thick mane of glossy brunette hair and possibly the most amazing smile she had ever seen.
"Oh hey roomie," the brunette had smiled over at the petite blonde who was already dressed in the grey sweets they had been given, her hair braided into two neat plaits.
"Arizona Robbins," the blonde said officiously as she stood up and offered her hand to the brunette.
"Really?" the brunette had laughed looking down at the hand before pulling the blonde in for a hug. "Bring it in Robbins...we're roomies now!"
Stepping back, Callie saw the surprise on the blonde's face caused by the hug. "I'm Calliope Torres, but everyone calls me Callie, except my father who is, you know, pretty traditional.."
Arizona was trying to regain her composure from the hug the brunette had sprung on her. She had not been expecting that and could still smell her roommate's scent. She realised the brunette was still talking...
"...sooo traditional in fact, that I only told my family that I was joining the CIA this morning! I dunno about your father, but my dad was not happy at all..."
The blonde stood in silence as she watched her new roomie throw her suitcase up onto her bed and start to unpack. Wait. What? Did she just say she only just told her parents this morning that she was part of the CIA training programme? Was she serious? They had needed to pass at least five interviews and selection days to be successful for the programme, how could she have not?
"...he totally expected me to go into the family business...but urgh...now way, Jose...I mean don't get me wrong...the fancy hotels, travelling all around the world...it does sound appealing...but I want danger and real adventure!"
As the brunette continued to talk in the background Arizona's brain was busy processing the scene in front of her. This woman was completely different from anyone she had ever encountered before. There was this amazing energy about her...she was almost glowing and for some reason, the blonde seemed to be unable to speak.
"Sooo Robbins…..," Callie said over her shoulder bringing her out of her daze, "are you just gonna stand there...or come and help me unpack?" she asked with a cheeky smile as she had held out a pile of her underwear and nodded over to the set of drawers at the end of her bed.
Arizona had felt her stomach flip at the sight of that smile. Shit! Pull yourself together, Robbins. Arizona had thought to herself.
"Sure!" The word came out all high-pitched and squeaky. Arizona cleared her throat, but it was too late. She could already feel Callie's eyes on her, watching her. As she glanced down to the items Callie was holding out to her she felt a blush start to form on her neck as she saw the black lace and bright pink underwear. Who the hell brings sexy underwear to CIA training camp? Callie Torres, that was who.
Present Day
Arizona tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, took another deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she gathered her thoughts to the task at hand. She might not look 25 anymore, but she had this. She could work with Callie and not let their history affect her. She could totally do this. She had to!
Returning to her office she threw herself into work, coordinating details for the operation. She had asked Lexie for some intel on agents Sloan and Torres which she intended on reading on the flight to kill some time. She always did her research on her team members, she liked to know who she was working with.
Lexie pulled out her laptop and started researching FBI agents Sloan and Torres for her report. There had been something about the way Special Operations Officer Robbins and Agent Torres had interacted with each other that had pricked the young IT wizz's attention.
After a few minutes of deep diving Lexie had found that Callie had initially trained for the CIA and after locating a fellow classmate's Facebook page, she spotted a group photo which included a fresh-looking Officer Robbins. Lexie zoomed in on the picture and saw the blonde and brunette wearing matching necklaces, the same necklace that Officer Robbins wore every day to work.
As Lexie clicked on more photos she came across one where the two women hadn't realised they had been caught on camera and even to Lexie who had no interest or time for relationships, could see they were more than just classmates. Officer Robbins and Agent Torres had been a thing.
More digging showed that like her fellow FBI Agent Mark Sloan, Callie Torres had never settled down and they both appeared to have developed reputations for being a big hit with the ladies.
Lexie typed up her report and added some extra information to Callie's file.
Relationship status: Single. Reputation as a bit of a player
###
Once home Arizona had no work to distract her, and as she cooked some spaghetti and packed for her trip, she found herself thinking back to the meeting, and how it had felt to see the Latina again after all those years.
Spurred on by the Bourbon she had poured herself, she had found herself retrieving a large cardboard box from the attic and was now sitting crossed-legged on the floor, searching through the contents. Buried amongst her high school yearbook and memorabilia from her time at College, the blonde found the old shoebox she was looking for.
As Arizona sipped on another drink she slowly flicked through a pile of photographs that were taken over their nine months at Camp Peary. It was 2013 and Arizona found herself smiling as she looked at a group shot of the class and how young and innocent they looked. She was in the front row with what had quickly become her trademark braids, standing in the row behind her was Tom. When that photo had been taken she would never have believed in a million years that she would end up marrying the slightly geeky-looking dark-haired guy. Arizona recalled she had in fact been busy thinking about the brunette who was sitting a few seats away. Smiling that killer watt smile.
A month into their training and despite their differences, Callie and Arizona had quickly formed a tight friendship. Arizona admired how Callie carried herself around the camp, she was so body confident and knew exactly what she liked and didn't like, and wasn't afraid to say it.
Arizona had grown up in a strict military household where you learned quickly to not talk back, and she had by her own admission, some serious issues when it came to figures of authority. To the blonde, they were there to be listened to and obeyed. To Callie, they were there to be learned from, but at the same time, she had no problem challenging them.
Callie was like no other woman Arizona had ever met before, she knew exactly what she was capable of, and didn't let anyone, in particular any man, tell her otherwise. In return, Callie found Arizona's drive to be the best pushed her to her own limits and together they bought the best out of each other.
They spent most of their time together studying, helping each other with their assignments, and supporting each other whenever they had a wobble. Arizona would get frustrated at not being the best and threaten to quit until Callie would talk her down. Callie would struggle from time to time with the orders and decide that maybe her parents had been right and that she wasn't suited to a life where she had so many rules to follow.
In those moments of doubt, they would jump up and stand back-to-back, pressing on each other so they physically felt supported and ask each other questions
"Would Rosa Parks have quit? Hell no!" They would yell. "Would Anne Frank, Marie Curie have quit? Hell no!"
They had got to know each other pretty well and therefore it had felt like a shock when the brunette had casually mentioned one night that the Sam who she had been dating before she had joined the training programme was a woman. That night Arizona had been unable to sleep as she processed the news that Callie liked women and had never been with a guy.
Arizona had never been that into boys in high school, preferring to play sports or to study, over making out behind the bleachers like the other girls. At College, she had met Bobby who she had dated and eventually lost her virginity to. On their graduation day, Bobby had proposed, but Arizona had other plans, and being married at the age of 23 was not one of them! As the blonde laid in bed that night thinking about Callie it stirred all sorts of emotions. Emotions that would one day burst free from her inner safety deposit box where she had been raised to keep her feelings under lock and key.
The blonde felt an overwhelming sense of sadness flood her as she looked at one of her favourite photos of Callie. Taken at the end of a grueling cross country run, Callie was standing in her CIA sweats, head tipped back as she roared with laughter despite being covered head to toe in mud having fallen in a massive puddle. She had missed hearing that laugh so much.
Arizona took a deep breath and wiped a stray tear away as she put the photos back into the shoebox and saw the brown manilla envelope. The envelope contained 12 smaller envelopes, which contained 12 handwritten letters. Letters she had written to Callie after they had split up. Letters in which the blonde had tried her hardest to apologise to Callie, letters in which she had begged the brunette to give her another chance. Letters that had one day appeared unopened in her letterbox along with a note from Callie that Arizona knew off by heart.
You had your chance. Leave me the hell alone.
The blonde decided she had probably done enough reminiscing for one night and carefully hid the box back up in the attic somewhere safe that she only knew about. Arizona had managed to keep her relationship with Callie a secret from Tom for all these years, and given how fragile her marriage was right now, she had no intention of telling him now.
An hour later as Tom silently made his way into the bedroom so as to not wake his wife, he stubbed his toe on Arizona's packed suitcase, which she had left by the door.
"FUCK!" He cursed, the silence broken as Arizona switched on her bedside light to see her husband looking down at the offending object. No matter how intoxicated he was, the sight of the suitcase clued him in on the situation.
"Why the fuck did you leave that there?" He asked his wife angrily, who was now sitting up staring disapprovingly as she watched Tom sway slightly and smelt the alcohol fumes from across the room.
"The state you are in, Tom, it wouldn't have mattered where I had left it, you still would have tripped over it!" Arizona responded with clear disdain in her voice.
Tom kicked off his shoes and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Oh spare me the sermon Arizona, I've heard it all before," he snapped back.
"And yet here we are again!" Arizona replied sadly as she watched her husband throw his shirt on the floor.
"Here we are again!" Tom repeated, mocking her voice as he threw his phone onto the bed before pulling down his pants and walking towards the en-suite. "I'm taking a shower."
"Tom, please, we need to talk!" Arizona said, desperate to sit down and discuss things with her husband, who stopped and looked back at his wife of five years.
"What's there to say, Arizona?" He asked, not waiting for a reply before continuing, "where to now? Iraq, Mozambique, Timbuktu? Arizona Robbins is off to save the world again!" He gave the blonde a look of hatred, the level she had not seen before as he turned and headed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him before running the shower.
Arizona let out a big sigh and closed her eyes to fight back the tears that had quickly formed. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid. She needed to focus on the operation and had hoped and needed her husband's support, but the truth was, their marriage had been over for a long time and they were husband and wife in name only.
She cared deeply for Tom and hated seeing him like this, seeing him drunk all the time. Whenever she had suggested he get help, he had flown off the handle and accused her of treating him like one of her subordinates at work, rather than a husband.
Two months earlier at the suggestion of their counselor they had booked a weekend away. Arizona had hired a cute cottage figuring they would have more privacy than if they had stayed in a hotel, and had made it very clear to April that she should only be contacted if President Yang's life was at risk.
On the drive up to the cottage, they had both promised that they would make an effort and it had actually started off pretty well. Tom had surprised his wife by making a playlist of some of their favourite songs which they both happily sang along, even though neither of them could hold a note. Their sex life had been non-existent for the best part of a year, and Arizona knew that was on her. She would make excuses of being tired or that she needed to work late. Tom had accused her of seeing someone else, which had made Arizona laugh as she didn't have the time to have an affair. The truth was she had been worried about getting pregnant again, as things hadn't gone to plan last time around. As a sign of her commitment to giving 100% she had purchased some new lingerie especially for the trip.
However, within a couple of hours of arriving the harmony was shattered as Tom cracked open the wine and pretty quickly it became clear that their marriage was beyond saving. As Tom finished the bottle and opened a second he was unable to hide his resentment for her. Her husband resented her putting her career first, resented what it had cost them, and as Arizona had suspected ultimately resented the fact that she was more successful than him.
Arizona had known there and then that it was over. She wasn't going to give up her career or take a demotion to ease Tom's bruised macho ego. There was no coming back from where they found themselves, but she had stuck around out of a deep-seated fear of failure. She felt partially responsible for Tom's drinking and whilst he wasn't an alcoholic, he wasn't a good drunk. Arizona had hoped he would come to the same conclusion as her but now as her husband showered, Arizona knew the time had come, deep down it was for the best. Neither of them was happy.
Later that morning, before she left for the airport she went to her office and opened the drawer where she usually kept confidential documents. She looked down at the thick envelope that contained divorce papers she had had her solicitor draw up two months earlier. She had tried, she really had, but Tom just couldn't forgive her for what had happened in Iraq.
