Chapter 19;

Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight.

Bella's POV;

I was sat in the small back garden of the cottage watching Evie roll about in the grass with her baby brother and Edward, trying to smile at the adorable sight that they made. My heart ached hollowly and I desperately grasped onto my positive feelings, my smile sliding off my face when I failed. I felt a sharp cutting pain and I struggled to keep my emotions in check while I called to Edward that I was going to get some lemonade. I barely made it to the kitchen before the first sob escaped my mouth.

This time last year I was terrified, alone and very much in the same position that I found myself in now; curled up on a cool tiled floor, my arms wrapped protectively around my waist as I sobbed my heart out.

This time last year my parents had told me to never call them again, that I was a whore and no longer a Swan. This time last year I found out I was pregnant with my little miracle, my little Ollie. The pain was surprising. I carried the burden of being cut off from my parents every day; my only connection to them was Alice, my twin and best friend. But today the pain that I had gradually got used to and pushed aside for the wellbeing of my child was overwhelming, the sharpness of it robbed me of my breath and left me gasping.

It was different now though, I had two children that didn't need to see their mother having a breakdown in the kitchen and a partner who loved me. I needed to pick myself up, brush myself off and let my parents go once and for all. I tried to get up, willing my body to cooperate. A voice that sounded like my mother began to whisper in the recesses of my mind.

Think of Edward Bella, how would he feel if he saw you like this? He might see you as the weakling that you are and deem you unworthy of his love. Why shouldn't he? Look at you!

I sobbed louder and curled into myself more tightly. I didn't hear the footsteps and so didn't realise that Edward was standing right beside me until I felt him sit beside me and tug me onto his lap.

"Edward? Where are the children?" I managed to gasp out between sobs, willing my chest to stop heaving and my tears to stop flowing. My body ignored my demands and I shuddered in Edwards arms.

"They're fine, Evie is watching a film in the living room and Ollie is asleep in his playpen. What's going on baby? Talk to me."

I pressed my face into his neck, breathing in his scent while I tried to catch my breath long enough to tell him it was nothing. But when I leaned back a little to tell him he pushed his finger under my chin and angled my face towards his. My brown eyes met his emerald green ones, the same shape and colour as our daughters and my false words dried on my tongue at the look of concern and love in them.

"Do you think Ali and Jasper are free? This is going to take a while and I want to make sure the kids are being looked after." Edward smiled at me and pulled his phone from his shorts pocket, dialling Jaspers phone and having a quick conversation with him.

Within 20 minutes I had calmed down enough to kiss Evie and Oliver goodbye as they went to spend time with their Auntie and Uncle. Alice took me aside for a minute and wrapped her arms around me, letting me know that she was aware of the date and giving me her full support without saying a word. I squeezed her as tightly as I could before letting her go and blowing her a kiss.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me into the cottage, shutting the door on Jaspers car driving away with the kids safely buckled in the back. He dragged me upstairs to our room after pulling a tub of toffee ice cream and a spoon from the kitchen and settled me by his side under a thin blanket, waiting expectantly.

I loved him so much.

I took a deep breath, my fingers playing with the stitching on the bed spread as I avoided eye contact and tried to figure out how to explain my earlier breakdown. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders, his solidness driving home that he was my rock and my support. I no longer needed my parents because he was my home.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I had no idea that today would be so hard for me otherwise I probably would have said something earlier or at least tried to prepare both of us." I turned in his arms, breaking his hold on me and crossing my legs Indian style. He mimicked my position, his eyes never leaving mine as he gave me his full attention.

"Today is the anniversary of me finding out I was pregnant with Oliver." I allowed a smile to grace my face as I remembered how scared yet excited I was. I had never loved anyone or anything as quickly and as overwhelmingly as Oliver. Except maybe Evie.

"I was terrified. I had just completed my summer exams and I was waiting for the results when I realised that I hadn't had my period. At first I wrote it off as stress because of the exams and then stress over my results but then I started feeling nauseous and my stomach started feeling more firm than before.

"I panicked, bought 7 pregnancy tests and did them all, one after the other. Every single one of them was positive. The final pregnancy test was one that told you how far along you are but it was pointless because I knew when he had been conceived and who had fathered him. I've only ever had sex once after all."

I chuckled at Edward's baffled face, reaching over and pushing gently on his chin to close his mouth.

"Jacob was a jerk, and the biggest mistake of my life, though without him I wouldn't have that beautiful baby boy. We had one night together after months of dating and I never saw him again. Naturally when I found out I was pregnant I tried to call his number again, only to find that he'd changed it and moved on. I needed to speak to my Mum, tell her what was happening and get reassurance from her.

"I've never heard her so disappointed. I always thought my relationship with my parents was better than that, but especially my relationship with her. She was usually so supportive, though now when I look back I realise that she was only supportive of things that she approved of and encouraged skills that she liked rather than skills that I actually possessed. The only reason she was supportive was because I allowed her to mould me into what she wanted.

"She immediately told my Dad, who came to the phone and called me all sorts of awful names before disowning me and slamming the phone down." A tear dripped down my cheek and before I could hastily brush it away Edward was there, his thumb gently wiping at it before he pulled me closer and rested my forehead against his.

"That's why you don't talk about them? Because of what they did to you?"

I nodded as more tears crept down my face, leaning forward and seeking comfort from Edward who immediately responded with a hug. He straightened his legs and arranged me so that I was sat sideways across them, his arms a comforting weight around my waist.

"Please tell me that you didn't go through your pregnancy alone." Edward whispered into my hair, his voice filled with pain before dropping his head down and planting a kiss on my bare shoulder. I turned my face towards him and gave him a chaste kiss before resting our foreheads together.

"No. I called Alice, she helped me through my pregnancy and labour, up until I met you." He kissed along my cheek to my ear.

"And then what happened?" I turned my face to his again, my hand coming up to cradle his cheek and thread through the fine hairs at the back of his head. I pulled him close, so close that we were breathing the same air and smiled.

"I fell in love." He leaned forward and claimed my lips roughly, swallowing my moan as he pulled me as close as he could. I pushed at his shoulders and straddled his hips when he lay down, claiming his lips again when he threaded his hands into my hair and tugged me down. I let out a groan as he started nibbling my neck, my hips circling over his of their own accord and my hands grasping at his hair.

I pulled back from him long enough to tug my tank top over my head, exposing my pale yellow bra. I felt a blush spread across my cheeks as his eyes roamed over my body. I went to cross my arms over my waist, feeling a little self-conscious, when Edward growled lowly at me. He grasped my wrists and flipped us so that I was lying on my back, pinning my arms above my head in his loose grip. My legs fell open and he nestled himself between them, his hardness pressing into me through the material of his black shorts.

He reared up and pulled his own top off before lowering himself on top of me again, letting a moan that was mirrored by me when our skin came into contact. He fingered the clasp of my bra in the valley between my breasts, looking at me questioningly and popping the clasp open when I nodded breathlessly.

The material was pulled off me completely and immediately my nipple was surrounded by the warm wetness of Edward's mouth. My eyes rolled back into my head as my hips pressed against his, seeking pressure and relief. He groaned against my nipple, the sensation travelling straight between my legs. My hands traced his back as he laved attention onto my breasts, alternating the sucking between my breasts as I arched into his mouth.

My cheeks began to heat when I felt my milk begin to let down and I tried to push Edward away, resulting in him detaching from my chest to look at me.

"What's wrong? Do you want to stop?" His voice was heavy with longing and sent another wave of desire through me. I shook my head hastily, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I felt my milk coming." My cheeks were on fire as I tilted my head back and allowed my eyes to slip closed. I jerked in surprise when I felt his lips close around my nipple again, opening my eyes and looking down to see him looking up at me. He released my nipple for a second to smirk at me.

"I want to know what it tastes like." I snorted at him and gasped when he began sucking earnestly on a nipple, feeling the milk begin to flood out of it. He stopped sucking a minute later, lapping at the nipple before grinning at me and smacking his lips.

"Not bad." I rolled my eyes at him before giving him my best bedroom eyes and reaching for his waistband. He grasped my hand, gently preventing me from undoing his button.

"I don't have any condoms Bella. Let's slow down, please?" I nodded slowly, bringing my arm up to cover my breasts but being stopped by Edward. He curled up behind me, spooning me. He put a leg between mine and cupped a breast in his warm palm, sliding his arm beneath my head. "Let's have a nap baby."

I pulled away for a second to cover us with a thin blanket and tie my hair up into a high messy bun before I snuggled back into Edward's warm chest, smiling contently and smirking in amusement when Edward had to adjust his prominent erection. At least I wasn't the only one suffering.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Edward knew about my parents. He knew about Jacob. He understood and he still loved me. He had been upset on my behalf. He comforted me. I wiggled into his erection, smothering my snort at his curse and subsequent adjustment. He wanted me. I pressed a kiss into the arm slotted beneath my head and smiled when I felt the returning kiss to the back of my neck.

"I love you so much Edward Anthony Cullen." His arm tightened around me, leaving me gasping in pleasure as he applied pressure to my breast.

"I love you more Isabella Marie Cullen." I smiled and didn't bother correcting my last name.

I would be a Cullen soon enough.

Funny story, the thing about the 7 pregnancy tests happened to me when I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited and I couldn't believe the positive result. I went a bit overboard haha. I'm 18 weeks pregnant! The baby is the size of a turnip but my belly looks more like a watermelon haha.

As always, read, review and enjoy!