Hey guys! Sorry, I know I said I'd try to get one up on Sunday but turns out I had a family dinner ad am really sorry I couldn't get it up! But it's here now and it's filled with some drama, surprises and guys being idiots and jerks (mainly James).
THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE FAVED/ FOLLOWED/ REVIEWED THS STORY
To:
Kattttiiieee: I'm sorry for ruining your life… in a good way… hahaha this has been one of my fav reviews! Hope you keep reading and reviewing!
FanFicLover32: I'm very glad you like Jaddie! I like them too! Keep and reading and reviewing!
Tigs0701: your review was pretty brilliant too xxxxxx thanks for reading and reviewing!
Guest: yes, she did just leave him there. I know, I had to make her at least a bit of an idiot so I could spin out some more drama! Keep reading and reviewing!
Nina(Guest): wow thanks for reviewing! And I can't take credit for the ship name but I like Jaddie too! Plus, Roy will totes be mad
Cap92A: hahaha the French cheek thing! My French teacher told me that so obviously she needs to brush up on her knowledge! And I really do love your reviews coz you've been reviewing since the very beginning so thanks for sticking with me!
Obsessedteengaefangirl: I'm pretty sure that chapter with the kiss was my fave chapter too! Xx keep reading and reviewing!
AGAIN – PLEASE REVIEW OR PM ME ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY I REALLY APPRECIATE! AND THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE! Now, onto the story:
Chapter 18: To Get Over James Potter
Far. Out. I just made out with James and I ran away. What the hell? I acted like some total idiot who'd never kissed anyone before or something! And our parting words:
Um, bye
UM BYE?
UM BYE?
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?
I raced back into the ball, fixing my hair (that James had had his fingers tangled in) and straightening my dress out (that James had been running his hands all over… and maybe under… maybe…).
The worst part of the situation wasn't the fact that we'd kissed. On no, the worst was much, much, much, much worse!
The worst part was that I liked kissing James and I wanted to run back into that room and continue from where we'd left off, as much as it shames me to admit it.
But I didn't want to go back into that room with James and face utter humiliation. What the hell had even made him kiss me? I have to admit, he's a totally good kisser but that was beside the point – I was literally freaking out. Running to and fro, trying to find Rose or even just the ballroom.
There were about a million different voices screaming in my head a million different things. Like 'why'd you kiss him' and 'why'd you like it' and 'HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO FACE HIM AGAIN'. It was very stressful.
Finally, I saw the entrance to the ballroom. I stormed inside, barging past guests and ignored people who were calling out my name. Instead, I walked towards Al (who was dancing with Hermione) and yanked him from the dance floor.
"Sorry Mrs Weasley! Crisis!" I called out as I left her standing in the middle of the dance floor with no partner. I didn't even care that I was being awfully rude by just taking Al away like that.
"What the hell?" Al asked, his voice shocked as I dragged him into an empty room just outside the ballroom.
I hauled him and slammed the door shut, leaning against the door, practically hyperventilating.
"What?" Al asked, obviously annoyed and concerned at the same time.
"I think I maybe kind of just made out with James. And I think I maybe kind of liked it," I rambled out. Al's face turned white.
"You're right – this is a crisis."
"Wait, did you kiss him or did he kiss you?" Al asked, his expression grave.
"Um… he kissed me first and it was really weird. And then Ellie knocked on the door and he made up some excuse. Then he said he shouldn't have kissed me for some reason. And then he said 'fuck it' and just full on attacked me," I explained, cringing at the thought of our first kiss.
"And… you said you liked it?" Al asked, trying not to laugh.
I glared at him, my face flushing. "No. Well, maybe a little. Stop laughing, Al! It's serious!" I yelled at him, hitting him repeatedly in the arm.
This made Al laugh even harder.
"Oh god! This is actually so good! Finally!" Al grinned, laughing hysterically.
I glared even fiercer at him. "What. Are. You. LAUGHING AT?"
He sobered up after that. But, he was still grinning like an idiot. "Seriously? He likes you, Mads. And you obviously like him. It's so obvious I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out!"
I frowned at him, confused. "He doesn't like me, ok? He's… James Potter. Besides, he has Alexia. She's head over heels in love with him and she's super pretty and super amazing. He hasn't even looked at me when she's around," I said, dejectedly. It took me a moment to realise I hadn't contradicted him when he said I liked James.
Because… maybe I do. And, just thinking about it, the more I liked the idea. I'd never wanted to explore the idea of me and him being something, never dared even thought about. I guess it's because I knew James. And I knew that eventually, he'd get bored of me. And he'd move on leaving me wanting him even more.
For some reason, I could feel, deep down inside some place in my mind, that if we ever got together, I wouldn't be the same after we broke apart.
Of course, that didn't keep from screaming in my mind:
OH FUCK I LIKE JAMES POTTER
Al scoffed. "Please. Did you see his face when he saw you in that dress? He basically told the whole party he likes you by his facial expression!" Al said, smiling.
I shook my head. "Look… if I did like him and I'm not saying I do… it wouldn't work, ok? He would just dump me in the pile of Girls James Has Used And Been With. And I don't want to be known as one of those girls," I said with distaste as Al looked at me funny.
"Ah, ok. Well, while I'll admit that he goes through a lot of girls and while he disregards their feelings a lot, I wouldn't be so sure he'd do the same to you," Al said, sighing.
I looked at my hands. "Well, we don't know that. And besides, I have a bad feeling about starting something with him. Like I'd end up getting hurt in the end. I don't know, I can feel it in my gut – as in my gut is literally telling me bad things will happen if we get togther," I said, my voice certain.
Al looked at me sharply. "Really? You're getting… bad vibes?" he asked, his voice strained.
What is he going on about? I had literally just said that. "Uh, yeah. Why?" I asked, my voice sounding weird.
Al looked as if he was about to say something but then thought the better of it. "Nothing," he said after a slight hesitation.
"Ok… if you're sure," I said, not convinced.
Al grinned slyly. "At least we know one thing for sure – you definitely like James," he said as I laughed and punched him on the shoulder.
"Shut up."
But I didn't say he was wrong.
BECAUSE HE WAS TOTALLY RIGHT.
Ok, now that I'd started thinking about liking James, the more I was convincing myself that I liked him. Maybe it was his arrogance. Maybe it was his habit to run his hands through his hair to make it even messier. Maybe it was his strong jaw and blue eyes. Maybe it was his hilarious sense of humour that always made me laugh – whatever it was, it was something, alright.
After me and Al had explained everything to a confused Rose, we'd gone back into the ballroom in search of James.
I was freaking out a little less by then. I'd calmed down and was trying to come up with what I'd say to James when I saw him.
Maybe I'd say 'Hey. I liked it when you were kissing me. Wanna try it again?' or maybe 'I think I like you. Wanna kiss again?' or maybe 'I'm pretty sure I kinda like you and I'm pretty sure I'm a little uncertain on that'.
Nothing seemed to fit. Rose and Al were giving me suggestions as we roamed the dance floor. We bumped into Hermione (I apologised profoundly) and Ginny (I blushed furiously when she asked where I'd disappeared off to earlier).
I was about to give up and just find him after everyone had gone home when Lily rushed up to us, her face stricken, with a humoured looking Rocky following slowly.
"Where's Ellie?" she asked, her expression frantic.
I shrugged and looked around the room for her bright white hair. "Dunno. Why?"
Rocky smirked. "She promised she'd braid Lily's hair and Lily really wants to impress Hugo and Andy with her 'cool braids that all her school friends are jealous of'."
Lily glared at Rocky. "Thanks for keeping my secret," she complained as Rocky gave her a look.
"Well, I can braid your hair!" Rose said. She's like that – always willing to help. She was growing on me – she became more laid-back as I'd talked to her more although there was still the Goody-Goody vibe coming off her. But, it was endearing on her because most of the time, I hated GG's.
Lily scowled. "Ellie does it in a nice way. Plus, she tells me all her secrets when she does it. God, I'm just going to have to braid it myself!" Lily huffed dramatically.
"Ooh, and what secrets does she tell you?" I teased, smiling.
Lily looked at me, her eyes wide. "You mean… you don't know?" she asked.
I frowned. "No. What? Tell me!" I demanded Lily. Al and Rose were backing me up as we egged her on.
Lily smiled. "She's totally head over heels for James." I'll admit, my stomach and smile dropped.
Of course. How cliché? The best friend in love with the guy. Seriously? This just makes everything more confusing.
"And, apparently, they've hooked up like so many times but he's always saying he only does that with people he knows won't fall for him. Like he kisses her and then he says it's because he doesn't want to start something with her. I don't really know, you'll have to ask Ellie," Lily explained.
My face fell even more. He only did what?
"Apparently, he always says she's a great kisser. She thinks he likes her – she couldn't be more wrong! Of course, I had to tell her he always talks about her, because otherwise she would've gotten mad," Lily said as Al glared at her.
"Why'd you tell her that James likes her? Now she thinks he likes her when he obviously likes Maddie!" Al said as everyone nodded.
Lily gaped. "What? He likes Maddie? But… Ellie told me he likes her. Plus, I like Ellie. She and James would be super cute!" Lily whined.
Wow, she's being a little bitchy tonight. "Um, I'm right here. Plus, he probably doesn't like me – you heard her, guys. He kisses people he knows won't fall for him," I explained, feeling a little dirty. To think I thought it'd been different.
Al frowned. "That's bullshit. I know for a fact he's never kissed Ellie before! And I also know he only likes Ellie has a friend. And, I also know that sometimes Ellie can be a massive gossip to make herself sound better – especially to the naïve, younger ones," Al explained as Lily pouted.
"She does not! Ellie is awesome, ok? And she would never lie to me to my face. Plus, I'm not naïve. But, if I'm being honest, Ellie isn't so great. But she still wouldn't lie," Lily said, her voice sure.
Um, what? What exactly was Lily saying?
It didn't matter because I could believe that Ellie would do that – talk herself up. Only earlier that evening I'd saw her nudge her sister out of the way of Rose. I thought Ellie would be cooler than that and above all that crap.
"You know, I'm not even shocked she would say that! Ellie hasn't kissed James before, ok? I know because she told me at the Diggory Yule Ball all the guys she's kissed and James wasn't one of them," Rose said, her face pinched up, uncertain as to whether her friend was lying or not. I saw Lily's face fall and I instantly felt bad for her. I know what's it like to have a role model and then to find out she's not a very nice person sometimes.
"Well, that's ok. I mean, everyone has talked themselves up at least once. I mean, Ellie might just really good at hiding her feelings for James," I said, frowning. I hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary – everything seemed platonic between her and James. Besides, I didn't want to jump to conclusions about Ellie. She seemed decent (if a little petty sometimes) and I was going to think that until proven wrong
"Well, I want to ask Ellie myself. I know I won't be able to trust her again until I know. Can we go and find her?" Lily asked, her voice uncertain.
I looked around for a mop of black hair. "Maybe James knows where she is. I mean, they're friends," I said casually. Al and Rose both gave me looks. I glared at them until they backed off.
Rocky frowned. She'd been quiet this whole convo. "I think I saw him head into a room around the corner. Here, I'll show you."
So, we all followed Rocky.
Suddenly, I was a nervous wreck. I mean, what did I say? What would I do? Do I look at him? Do I bring it up or would he? Should I pretend it never happened? Should I just go up to him and kiss him?
All my thoughts vanished when we came to the room. Rocky stared at the locked door in confusion. "Um, James?" she called out. I heard a muffled voice and a giggle that sounded like Ellie.
I knew. In that instant, I knew what was going on in there. My gut had told me I'd get hurt if I started something with James and right now, it was telling me to not open the door unless you want to see for yourself whether your suspicions are true.
And yet, Rocky pulled out her wand and muttered Alohomora, the unlocking spell. The door clicked open I heard stumbling and curses as Rocky barged through.
"Blimey," she muttered when she saw what was inside.
I pushed my way past her and saw them, together, doing things he'd been doing to me not only thirty minutes before.
His hands were still tangled in her blonde curls and her orange lip gloss was all over his face and neck. Her hands were clasped tightly around his waist and I felt my stomach drop to the floor.
I felt like I was going to be sick.
"M-Maddie," James stammered as he quickly shoved Ellie away, his face white, all emotion besides shock and regret gone from his face. Ellie straightened herself, a playful smile on her face.
"Um… sorry," I mumbled, my chest aching like someone had literally punched a hole through it and pulled the insides out.
Ellie giggled. I wanted to slap her. "Sorry. This is totally inappropriate!" Ellie giggled as Al glared at her. "What?" she asked innocently, holding her hands up in surrender.
Silence followed. I looked James and his lipstick-smeared face. His expression was bewildered and his face turned bright red.
Third time I've seen him blush. Ever.
I cleared my throat. "Um, we'll go," I said. Miraculously, my voice didn't break but I could feel my eyes pooling with unshed tears.
I turned and fled. I didn't care that he called after me. I didn't care that Ellie might've kissed him – not the other way round. I didn't care that I looked like some lovesick idiot running out like that.
I cared that my heart was breaking into millions of pieces. I cared that I let myself admit that I liked him and that I foolishly thought he might just like me back. I mean, there wasn't anything special about me. I'm a sarcastic klutz who can't do magic for shit (except for DA DA) with ordinary looks.
Nothing special about me at all and there I was, racing through the halls, heart breaking because the most extraordinary guy ever kissed the most exotic, gorgeous and hilarious girl.
Why am I an idiot?
But the part that hurt the most was that I'd finally realised I liked this guy and it was like the world was saying 'nu-uh, no happy ending for you! Move on, bitch' which really sucked.
And I can guarantee that moving on from liking James would be a lot longer and harder than realising I liked him in the first place.
To think - all because of that damned kiss!
I raced into the dining room of which no one was in. I slumped in the nearest chair and wiped my eyes angrily. I wasn't going to cry over him. Besides, he hadn't anything wrong except be a good-for-nothing jerk.
I cursed James very explicitly over and over in my head until tentative footsteps came into the room. I sat up straighter and wiped my face blank of emotion.
I looked up to see Rose standing there, her expression furious. She plonked down next to me.
"James is an idiot. He's a jerk and a player and an immature baby. Trust me, Al is having a go at him right now and Rocky is giving Ellie the cold shoulder. I didn't think anything could happen between James and Ellie – they're like brother and sister. Besides, I don't think James likes Ellie that way," Rose said, her voice turning sympathetic.
I snorted. "You sure 'bout that? They were all over each other back there," I said, my voice bitter.
Rose smiled. "You are so the jealous type. Al owes me one – we had a bet going," she said smugly as I snorted.
"I am the jealous type. I'll even admit it," I said, laughing a bit. Rose was really starting to grow on me. She smiled at me and I instantly felt better.
"I'm good, actually. No tears or sobbing or the sudden urge to listen to sad songs," I said as Rose giggled.
"Does that mean no ice cream and chocolate?" Rose teased as I hit her lightly.
"There's always ice cream and chocolate," I said seriously as I heard Al laughing. I turned in my seat to see him standing in the doorway, an amused expression on his face.
"Looks like Mads is ok if she's functioning enough to talk about food," Al joked as he came and sat down next to Rose.
I scowled. "And why wouldn't I be functioning properly?" I asked, a little offended he thought I was that hung up on James.
"Well, my brother's being a dick and Rose's best friend is being a bitch," Al stated as I snorted.
"What's new?" I asked rhetorically.
We chatted for a while about random things like our favourite flavour cookie and where we'd go if we could travel anywhere in the world (Mars Bar cookie and Brazil, Al likes peanut butter cookies and wants to go Africa and Rose lives for double-choc-chip cookies and the Greek Islands).
It really helped take my mind off the big, neon sign with flashing lights in my head that read 'JAMES POTTER KISSED A GIRL AND IT WASN'T YOU'.
It took quite an effort to ignore it, though.
"Write to me, ok? I can't wait to see you when school starts!" Rose's muffled voice said as she squeezed the life out of me.
"Will do! I can't wait either!" I said breathlessly – she gave huge hugs.
She pulled away and moved onto trapping Lily.
I turned around to find Ellie with her arms wide open, her expression hopeful.
Feeling fake and very bitchy, I plastered on a fake smile and stepped into her embrace. "I'll miss you! Write to me, ok?" I said, making my voice sound enthusiastic.
"Love you! Miss you! I'll write all the time and we'll catch up second day back, ok?" Ellie squealed as she pulled away, her eyes full of genuine sadness because she was saying goodbye. I immediately felt awful for hating her. But, it was only three hours after the whole 'Ellie/James Kiss Incident' and the wound was still raw.
Of course, she didn't know that.
After Al, Rose and I had had our chat, we'd come up with an elaborate story that seemed plausible as to why we'd all ran out in such a rush. Once we thought of the story, we had to set it in motion.
We went in search of Ellie and found her getting the silent treatment from Rocky and being comforted by Miranda.
As soon as we walked in, she stood up and rushed over to us, hugging all of us.
"Guys, that was absolutely not what it looked like, I swear. It-" Ellie started when Rose interrupted her with a confused look.
"What? Oh and you and James? I'll admit, I'm surprised and a little weirded out but it wasn't that bad," Rose said flippantly as Ellie pouted in confusion.
I wanted to deck her and her pretty face so bad.
"Then why'd you two chase after a distraught-looking Maddie?" Ellie asked as if I wasn't there.
"Nosebleed," I supplied drily. "I get 'em all the time. It's an Aussie thing," I said as if that explained the whole situation.
"Ah," Ellie said as if that explained everything. Idiot.
Back to the story.
"I'd love to catch up!" I said with a fake smile. She grinned and gave a wave as she walked out the door, following Wendy and her parents.
I hugged everyone else goodbye and when everyone was gone, I slumped against a wall and slipped my (mini) heels off.
Al grinned. "Was it hard to pretend to be cool with Ellie?" he asked, his voice sly.
I smiled a fake smile and looked at him innocently. "Pretending? I wasn't pretending," I said sweetly, twirling my hair.
"Really? Could've fooled me," Al tilted his head to the side and we both burst out laughing. Of course, James chose that exact moment to walk in, a tired expression on his face.
"Man, Aunty Hermione gives you the biggest hugs. I'm still sore," he joked as he rolled his shoulders and backs.
I gave him a little smile. "Sounds like Rose got that from her," I said, trying to sound casual.
James gave me a surprised look, his amazing blue eyes capturing mine and oh god, I could just look at them all day...
Al cleared his throat. Startled, I jumped a little, causing myself to blush.
Al looked back and forth between us and quickly exited, mumbling something like 'night, I'm tired', leaving us alone.
I was mentally thinking of all the best charms to put on him to make him seriously uncomfortable.
I was startled from my weird and disturbing thoughts when James coughed.
I jerked my head in surprise, cracking my neck and a sharp pain split through my neck and shoulders.
"Ow," I groaned, rubbing my sore neck as James laughed blatantly at me. He walked towards me and turned me around so my back was facing his front.
Then, he slowly lifted my hair away from my neck and piled it onto one side. Then, he started slowly massaging my neck and shoulders.
It felt like heaven. His fingers left trails all over my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
It felt nice to have his hands back on me as I felt the familiar rush of heat of being near him and felt the same electric jolts of his fingers grazing my bare skin.
"You're really good at this," I commented as I internally groaned. Man, he was amazing at this!
James chuckled. "I'm good at many things, Maddie. You should know that," James said softly, humour lacing his voice.
I giggled and sighed. "Next time I'm stressed and in need of a neck massage, I'm coming to you," I joked softly.
James didn't answer. It took me a moment to realise that my back was pressed right up against his front and that his hands had trailed down from my neck to my waist. His arms wrapped around my waist tighter until his hands were clasped. His head leaned into the crook of my neck and he took a deep breath, sighing.
Instinctively, I leaned into him and his pine tree scent wafted over me.
"You smell like sweet mint and vanilla," James murmured in my ear. The thought that he was thinking the exact same thing as me warmed me from the inside out.
I smiled. "You smell like pine trees and winter air."
I felt James laugh. "Is that good?" he asked uncertainly. I smiled.
"I guess you'll never know," I replied, full on grinning.
And then suddenly, he was kissing the side of my neck.
Oh god.
Do you know how hard it is to think when the guy you like who also happens to be amazingly hot kisses your neck?
Very hard.
I leaned into his kisses and for a split second I forgot about Ellie.
Of course, her name shot me like a bullet – I jerked away from James (much to my dismay) and I pushed him away.
"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked wearily to James, whose mouth was quirked up at the corners.
"The massages or the kisses?" he asked, his voice playful.
For some reason, that made me snap. "This isn't a joke! I mean, toying with me and Ellie? What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked angrily.
I stormed past a confused and shocked looking James and ran up the stairs, then into my room and then, finally, into my bed.
Knock knock
I woke up with a pounding headache. Too much Firewhisky the night before obviously.
I rolled over and stumbled out of bed, yanking open the curtains. No light filled the room. Confused, I squinted to see that it was, in fact, still night. Or early morning.
Wondering how and why I'd woken up this early, I looked down at myself to see the shimmering party dress still on. Sighing, I stripped it off and hopped into my threadbare and worn PJ's with hearts on them.
Feeling better, I opened my door to find James standing there, a nervous expression on his face. I was confused as to why he was standing there.
Then I recalled the knocking on my door.
I pointed at him. "You woke me up," I stated.
James grinned. "Yup. And I can tell you didn't appreciate it," he said happily.
"What do you want?" I asked, tiredly, stifling a yawn.
James's face grew serious. "Ok, I wanted to talk to you. It's about Ellie. Look, she kissed me, ok? I didn't kiss her or anything like that. I mean she kissed me and I kissed her back but it felt wrong. I mean, she's basically my sister. It was weird. But I swear, I swear on my life, I'm not toying with you. I kissed you, ok? I chose that. It's messed up and weird and I liked it – a lot," James said without an ounce of sheepishness.
My heart and stomach did flip flops. I'll admit, I like him. I really, really do. Was he actually going to say what I thought he was going to?
"But… I mean, I have Alexia and you have Roy and… and I guess I'm just saying we wouldn't work. But, you could always wait – who knows who I'll be in the mood for next," James said, his face sympathetic.
Hold up. What did he just imply? That I'm some booty call? That his decision makes or breaks how I act? It's not like my whole life depends on whether or not he likes me or not. It's not like I'm going to wait around for him to decide when he's ready and when he wants to have a break. It's not like I'm going to be happy to just wait around for him.
Oh no. That was James's big mistake, thinking I was like Alexia – willing to throw my life away for a guy.
I looked at him nonchalant. "I was going to say the same thing – I mean, I have Roy. And, unlike some guys, he doesn't assume anything about me and doesn't treat me like some helpless idiot who's going to wait for him and be at his beck and call. So no one else better assume that, either," I said, making it perfectly clear I was talking about him.
James looked at me, confused. "Um, I don't want you to wait for me," he said, having no idea how much it stung me.
"Well, who ever said anything about you? The whole world doesn't revolve around you, you know. It might shock you, but other people live on this Earth too and they also have feelings. You might wanna be a little aware of that before you say the first rude comment that pops up in your head," I said as I slammed the door on his shocked face.
If James Potter was going to treat me like some pathetic and mindless girl, then he can go screw himself.
And I can set myself a goal –
To Get Over James Potter
Step 1. Curse him endlessly in mind
Step 2. Mentally burn the dress he had his hands all over
Step 3. Say nice things about myself
Step 4. Make a list of reasons to hate him (or update the list, in my case)
Step 5. Laugh at all of his embarrassing moments (not many but I'm making up some funny scenarios where he dies and falls off the astronomy tower)
Step 6. Kick and throw my pillow around the room pretending it's him
And that my friends, is how I started to get over James Potter.
Um, emphasis on started…
Well, until next chapter!
Thanks for reading! And please please please review any idea and/ or comments!
Kat xx
