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Part 12: Home

So Merle has insisted they go home despite Daryl's protests because he senses something odd about 'Uncle Mikey.' But he can't quite put his finger on what's wrong exactly.
Question is; have they just jumped from the frying pan into the fire to an even worse situation?

Daryl took a step back to put some distance between him and his father but was careful enough not to make it look like he was deliberately hiding behind Merle.

He inhaled sharply when the door finally opened after what seemed to be an eternity and their proud dad in all of his six foot glory stood in the doorway. His eyes danced between them a few times before he broke the silence and if Daryl didn't know any better, he even thought he saw his father's eyes tearing up. But that just couldn't be, could it?

'Well, don't just stand there, you two. Get your asses inside! Missed ya two boys!' He exclaimed and grabbed his older son in a bear-hug while Daryl watched them out of the corner of his eye, not liking what he saw. Something was wrong, but he didn't dare to ask his brother in front of their Dad and mess things up when they were doing well so far. Their father seemed so happy to see them and he didn't want to do anything to spoil that and let things go back to the way they were.

But when Will reached down to Daryl to give him the same treatment, he backed away leaving his father waiting for a hug back that would never come and his arms closing on nothing but air.

Daryl knew that he'd screwed up big time and he didn't need to see Merle looking at him slightly panicking and mouthing: 'What the fuck?' to realise that. Because he had specifically told him not to do anything to provoke their father, and upsetting him was the very first thing he did when they were reunited again.

But he must have looked downcast because seconds later Merle broke the tension by patting his back, telling him silently not to worry.

Their father looked hurt as well as surprised but in the end, just shrugged his shoulders. 'Fine, I guess I'll give ya that one, can't be easy for ya to trust me,' and just like that Daryl found it easier to breathe again.

The smell of delicious cooking hit their nostrils when they stepped inside, making the older brother at least forget his worries for the time-being as his face lit up at the promise of food. He immediately disappeared into the kitchen - he was shooting up in height and unlike his younger sibling, was always hungry.

Daryl almost felt his heart drop in his chest to be left alone with dad not one minute after returning home, when Merle had promised him that wouldn't happen, at least until he'd made absolutely sure that everything was OK. Part of him expected to be punished for the rude thing he'd just done even if his Dad had seemed understanding about it.

However, Merle must have sensed his distress because he popped his head around the corner of the kitchen door and excitedly urged him to come to him with an eager wave of the hand.

But Daryl stayed where he was with Dad- afraid to offend him again but found himself surprised for the second time in less than ten minutes when he just smiled at him ruefully.

'Guess I can't blame ya for bein' a little skittish around me after what I did.'
Merle drew back in shock and went pale when he heard their father refer to the beating, no matter how indirectly, it was still very dangerous territory.

Daryl glanced at his brother again for direction and saw that he was trying to get his attention, passing him significant looks and knew that he was probably feeling nervous about what he would say or do. Especially when he had made such a bad start by cowering back like he'd done and it wasn't that weird that Merle was itching to speak for him, to not risk him saying the wrong thing to annoy their Dad.
So, instead of doing or saying anything, he kept his mouth shut and just looked at his father.

Then Will shocked them both when he crouched down to Daryl's level to gently tilt his chin up so that their eyes met. 'I'm sorry, son, I promise it'll never happen again. I was too hard on ya.'

Merle let out a deep breath at the same time that Daryl did at that, but at least it cleared the air a little. Their father had taken the bull by the horns this time and actually said that he was sorry - in front of Merle too. They just both hoped he actually meant it this time.
Will straightened up as Daryl just settled on nodding, clearly still afraid of making things more awkward by opening his mouth.

'It's gonna take time, Dad.' Merle tried to explain and smooth things over more.

'I know.' The head of the Dixon family looked down at the floor for a moment before he put on his cheerful face back on.

'Come on. Made somethin' for ya to eat. I made more food than I could eat almost every day you weren't here so that if by chance you did show up, there would be something for ya. Freezer's well-stocked up for once anyway.' He guffawed at that one before he continued but his boys were too surprised to join in the laughter.

'Ain't done it for the last four days though, but I had a feeling in my bones when I woke up today that you two were coming home and here ya both are... How's that for good timin', huh?' He led the way to the kitchen not waiting for a response from his sons who at the moment were too stunned to speak.

Merle tilted his head in their dad's direction, silently urging Daryl to say something in return since it was clear that Will wanted a response from him to show that everything was somewhat all right again between them.

Daryl nodded to show that he got the message, even at the age of eleven he had no problem feeling the tension in the air hanging thick between all three of them. But then it came to him what he needed to do, even though his stomach was roiling and he wasn't really all that hungry, he tried to show some interest in the food.

After all, their Dad had gone to a lot of effort for them and he should show some appreciation.
'What did ya cook, Dad? Smells delicious.'

'Ya favourite, son. Deer steak and fries.' And that was the end of that, and soon all three of them were sitting down at the table.

At first the conversation was stilted and awkward, but gradually they became more relaxed with each other, alternating between taking bites and sitting in easy silence as they enjoyed the meal.

Daryl ate as much as he could but failed to finish the huge plate of piled up food that had been laid out in front of him.

It was odd how a few new habits trumped old ones when for a split second he forgot he wasn't at Mike's anymore where he could stop eating whenever he felt like it. A place where nobody minded if he couldn't clear his plate and the whole word seemed to pause suddenly when he put his knife and fork down.

Merle, who had been eating with his mouth full while talking as usual, even let up stuffing his face. His eyes were open in obvious alarm and he looked like he was about to choke on his food. Meanwhile, Daryl looked over at his Dad anxiously, checking for any signs of anger.

But instead of receiving a stinging slap to the face like he half-expected, Will just smiled down at him.

'That's OK, Daryl. I probably put too much on ya plate...Here, give it to Merle. Sure ya can use some more, hey, boy?'

Merle grinned in relief at the danger blowing over without any reverting to old behavior on part of their father. Without a moment's hesitation, he reached over and grabbed Daryl's plate, putting what remained on his almost empty one.

After dinner, they went to the living-room where their father immediately put on the TV and handed out one cold beer to Merle and a coke to Daryl. Luckily, it was Saturday night and there was a good action movie on with GI's fighting a war in some tropical jungle country. They sat in comfortable silence up until during the commercial breaks, where Will would try and ask them about their time at Mike's.

Daryl clearly grew uneasy at this and looked at his big brother again for guidance wondering if he would reveal that Mikey had been angry enough at their father that he hadn't told them that he had called.
But Merle didn't.

Their dad turned to Daryl next, directing his questions to the one boy, who at that moment wasn't lost in his thoughts.

'Did he take care of ya boys, Daryl? Looks like he did and I know he patched ya up real good. I wanted ya home sooner – kept calling to ask how ya were but ...'

Daryl could tell Merle had snapped out of his thoughts then as he stared intently at their father. This cut Will off as he finished simply: 'I couldn't get through.'

Daryl saw Merle narrow his eyes at this and seemed about to open his mouth to say something but closed it instead, thinking better of it.

'How was it really, you two boys sure stayed there long enough, huh?' Dad's tone was a little sharper now.

Daryl opened his mouth and must have done so with an expression that Merle didn't like. He probably looked too eager, and he immediately tried to tone his enthusiasm down a couple of notches. He knew what worried Merle was if he said something hinting at how nice it had been at Mike's, Dad got jealous easy.

Meanwhile, his big brother gave Daryl sharp, warning looks over their dad's shoulder and clearly was holding his breath in suspense as he waited for him to answer.

But Daryl was a smart kid, he understood what his brother was trying to tell him and was intent on not saying the wrong things. Even if it meant being a little dishonest. He didn't have the guile to lie usually and he was open (sometimes too open) with his thoughts and feelings. That was what got him in trouble most of the time, particularly where their Dad was concerned.

'It was ...OK.' Daryl shrugged and said it matter-of-factly like it was no big deal and stared at the screen that was back to showing the movie that none of them were really watching. 'He was...good to us.' He admitted almost reluctantly.

Daryl looked over, unsure of how he did. Merle apparently was pleased with this answer as he nodded approvingly and leaned back some, finally relaxing a little.

The other dangerous topic – the revenge beating that Mike had given their father- was not mentioned by either of the older Dixons during the evening either.

'Better go to bed now, Daryl.' Will suddenly announced after they'd chatted and caught up with each other for some time.

Daryl heard his father telling him this from faraway. He knew he was dozing off and despite his attempts to keep himself awake, he was nodding against his big brother's shoulder. Merle had put himself in between them and Daryl knew he had done it deliberately.

'Go on, now, Daryl. Me and Merle got some talkin' to do.' Dad's tone was a little more impatient now and he knew that he shouldn't stay.

'Come on, little brother, up ya get.' His brother nudged him.

He slowly got up, even though the prospect of lying in his own bed after so long suddenly felt very welcoming. He yawned and mumbled as he rubbed his eyes: 'Night, Merle. Night, Dad.'

He was about to skirt past their father, giving him a wide berth but Will had anticipated this and grabbed him before he could. Daryl didn't have time to react – that was to stop himself from tensing up, as Merle beside him followed suit.

'Now, now don't be like that. Said I was sorry.' Will crooned and wound his arms around him soothingly but Daryl couldn't bring himself to relax.

'Dad...' Merle started, half getting up from his seat. 'Don't push him.' He warned.

'It's all right. Jus' wondered where my goodnight hug was, that was all.'

When Will whispered this in Daryl's ear was what finally broke his paralysis. He finally turned around and wrapped his arms loosely around their dad's neck and felt his father's lips press lightly against his hair in return. It was all OK now, he thought to himself with relief, dad hugging him like this showed him that he really was sorry.

'That's it.' He was beaming now as Daryl untangled himself from him. 'Go up to bed now, boy. Way past ya bedtime, see you in the mornin'.'

'See ya, Merle.'

'Don't let the bedbugs bite, little brother.'

Meanwhile, Mike was looking around his living room, suddenly struck by how lonely and empty it looked. Not to mention shabby. He badly missed his boys (so he'd started calling them secretly.)

On most days, he thought bitterly, his friend didn't deserve those boys– especially Daryl, who for all his sassy behavior and dirty mouth, was a good kid deep down. He knew all too well how Will was on his bad days, a violent drunk who treated them like shit. For a moment he thought how lucky Daryl was to have Merle because one thing was for sure – he did love that baby brother of his, probably more than life itself.

He hadn't been fooled by Merle's transparent excuse for their rapid exit...he wondered if he should have been more cautious around the older boy... toned down the affection until when big brother wasn't around. Apparently he wasn't as naïve as he seemed.

He also knew how protective Merle was of Daryl, he'd seen many times how he was with him and he should've been smarter. Not that he planned to ever go further with Daryl... He didn't have anything to hide - Mike knew he wasn't sick like that. Mike sighed when he remembered how quickly Merle had pulled Daryl off him when he'd merely gripped him too hard by accident.

Yet it had seemed like more of an opportunity Merle had been looking for to get Daryl away from him, Mike. When they'd left, he couldn't help but think about how ungratefully he thought Merle was behaving after all he had done for them...But then he couldn't really blame him if he had an inkling about his true feelings for his baby brother. If he himself were in Merle's shoes, if he knew the thoughts running through his head, he'd kill him in a heartbeat. No looking back – no regret even if he hadn't yet acted on them.
And Mike wouldn't blame him if he did.

He nursed his glass of whiskey and let himself dwell on the younger Dixon boy now that he was alone...tried to recall the feel of his silky dark hair under his fingers, his smooth skin under his hand...

Most of the time when Daryl was close-by, he could control himself, but the one time he had slipped was when the boy had been sitting in his lap. Had just planted himself there for a cuddle without even asking first and Mike had eagerly obliged at first...until he felt the change. Daryl hadn't exactly done anything. But having him on top of him like that and being affectionate had stirred Mike's dick to attention, and at first he had been horrified. But in the end he had just laughed it off, ignoring it, relieved that Daryl was too innocent to understand. At the same time, he prayed that the kid wouldn't cotton on and might guilelessly tell Merle about the weird thing that happened while sitting in uncle Mikey's lap. The teenager would put two and two together pretty quickly.

Without a second thought, he slipped into his study where he kept his dark secret carefully hidden from the world.

The next day everything went better at the Dixons'. Daryl was less nervous around Will, he felt safe enough that he didn't even freak out when Merle told them he was going out to buy some smokes.

Merle was less worried too about leaving him with Dad when he closed the door to the house and was walking as quickly as he could to the nearest store. He still didn't quite fully trust their father alone with Daryl for too long and besides, the long walk gave him time to think.
He almost felt like he was split two ways with one half of him wondering if he should come clean about Mike deceiving them even if it did stir up the hornet's nest.

Mike had been real good to them, and there was their dad who was really trying to keep his temper under control this time around and trying to make amends. So, naturally Merle feared that telling their father everything about how Mike had lied to them and tried to keep them apart would completely ruin everything. There was no point. Not when their Dad and his best friend were on warmer terms now even if they were not completely thawed yet.

Mike had forced him to face up to what he'd done to Daryl but it had been a good thing, hadn't it? Because now their Dad didn't lay so much as a finger on him anymore, never as so much raised his voice at him and was acting like the old Dad Merle remembered when he was Daryl's age and their Mama was still around.
Merle hoped that the memories his brother had of her were one's where she was still on her feet and clear in her head, rather than the drunk she became. They rarely spoke about her, their Dad least of all. Her face before the drinking took over came to Merle's mind then and he smiled before his expression grew serious again. He needed to think about the problem at hand, that was what to do about Mike.

Yet, whatever he'd done for them, Merle couldn't overlook the chill he got from looking at him and his brother together and he had to remind himself that the important thing was that they'd gotten away from him. Merle'd managed to have it out with him before they left to let him know that he wasn't happy about him trying to drive a wedge further between them and their father. To keep them there. No doubt it only had been because he'd got so used to having them around and some misplaced notion of protecting them that caused Mike to act the way he did…

As for all the touching Daryl, the man had admitted that he was lonely after his wife died, he was probably regretting that he hadn't had any kids himself.

Sometimes Daryl was the one to seek affection, Merle had seen it more than once wIth Mike and even with Dad but had said nothing. He'd just gone over to where Mike was sitting on the sofa, and snuggled close without asking. After all, there was no reason for Daryl to think twice about doing something like that around Mike. Merle was almost able to convince himself that he'd imagined the weird feelings he'd gotten from watching them together. When the vision of Mike and Daryl on the sofa flashed in his mind almost like it was taunting him, Merle pushed it aside. Explained it away by the fact that he wasn't used to such extreme displays of affection right in front of his face like that. That must be it and that he was being overprotective as usual.
Finally, just before he turned to go into the convenience store, he decided to drop the whole thing, at least for the time being and let sleeping dogs lie. That didn't mean that he wouldn't be watching Mike with his brother carefully like a hawk from now on, though.

Soon after Merle left, Daryl tripped down the stairs and poked his head around the living-room door and spotted Dad sitting on the sofa with his usual glass of whiskey set out in front of him.

Expert in reading his father's facial expressions, Daryl could tell he was in a good mood and didn't think twice when Will caught sight of him in return and beckoned him over. He patted his lap, motioning for him to sit. In fact, Daryl felt no fear or apprehension at all and it was almost like it used to be with his father when their Mama was still around.

'Come here son, let me talk to ya for a bit.'
Yet he failed to relax completely as he planted himself in his dad's lap, but managed not to not flinch as Will brushed back the hair that was covering his eyes.
'Ya really need a haircut. It's getting' long...don't want ya goin' round lookin' like a little pansy fag.'

The words was harsh but Daryl felt more reassured when his father started to chuckle, immediately taking the sting out of them.

Daryl gave a small smile and relaxed even as his father put his arms around him.
'Now, tell me...How was it really at Uncle Mike's? He treat ya good?'

'Yes, Dad.'

'Come on, son. Ya gotta give me more than that. You spent more than two weeks over at Mike's.'

Daryl chewed at his lower-lip not really sure how to continue. He didn't want to risk hurting his dad by saying how nice it'd been, but not answering would surely make him angry instead. After a second's deliberation, he decided that the first option was way better, an upset dad he could at least talk to, explain what he meant. An angry one wouldn't listen, he would hit and ask questions after.

He tilted his chin up determinedly to meet his father's eyes, thinking it was best to show that he wasn't scared, more chance he would be believed that way. 'We had a great time – he took me huntin' once and we even went fishin' and cooked our own fish for dinner!' He blurted out enthusiastically.

His father frowned at that and Daryl quickly backtracked, and lost all the courage he had previously felt. 'But it ain't the same like with you and Merle...' He paused and considered quickly what would make his father happy. 'I wanted to come back home the whole time,' he lied.

That thankfully seemed to do the trick when the annoyance left his father's face.
'Good. 'Cos I missed ya too...Always worryin' how ya were gettin' on...If...if ya were in a lot of pain after...after...'

Daryl was careful not to finish his father's sentence, there would probably be a very unpleasant outcome if he did.
Instead of continuing, Will turned away, as if unable to finish and settled on planting a kiss to Daryl's temple to show all what he couldn't say before he buried his face in his son's hair. 'I'm real glad to have ya back – both of you under my roof, safe and sound is all I wanted to say.'

'Me too. But...but...' Daryl stopped himself mid-sentence, not sure whether he should say what was on his mind or not.

'Go on.' Will nodded encouragingly at him.
'Come on, boy. Spit it out, whatever it is.'

But Daryl continued to hesitate. Merle hadn't mentioned how it had been, truth was Merle had only spoken of Mike when it was necessary, keeping his answers short when dad tried to find out more. Daryl knew he probably should do the same. But he couldn't when he saw that his dad was looking curiously at him, no trace of impatience in sight so he dared to continue.
'When ya didn't even call us after two weeks, I...I thought ya didn't care no more. That ya really meant to chuck us out...'

'No...never...!' Dad was aghast. 'Well..., I tried but Mike told me that neither of ya wanted to speak to me and I couldn't blame either of you after what I did...Thought it best to give ya some space like he told me to...'

Daryl frowned. 'Yeah...We found out 'bout that, but he said he was jus' protectin' us.'

'Guess I can't blame him.' Will answered evenly but his fists were clenched at his sides. Daryl noticed and flinched back a little.
'It's alright son.' He patted his back reassuringly.

But Daryl could tell that it wasn't alright at all.
'Dad?'

'What, Daryl?'

Trying to save the situation, Daryl brushed his father's cheek with his hand before he asked his question: 'Did he beat ya up bad? Merle wanted to come and check up on ya...'

He hesitated a little before he started to laugh, shaking his head. 'Nah, it ain't nothin' for you to worry about. Jus' some grown-up stuff. We jus' had a little scrap is all...Believe me, I gave as good as I got.'

'Good. I was out of it so I didn't really hear when Mike got back…'

His dad hissed at that, and Daryl immediately felt guilty for bringing it up. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have...' He looked at him unsure, anxiety shining through every pore.

Will ruffled his hair and looked a bit happier when he didn't draw back this time.
'Stop babbling, son. Said it's OK, boy.'
Just then the phone rang and Daryl leapt off him, typically quick on his feet these days to answer it, making his father frown because he knew the reason why.

'Uncle Mikey!' Daryl exclaimed joyfully but curbed his enthusiasm when he thought he heard his father groan with irritation from the next room.

However, he soon forgot all about it as he got swept up with chatting happily, telling Mike about his day and answering his concerned questions.
However, he found himself interrupted in mid-sentence when his Dad suddenly appeared next to him.
'Daryl – go upstairs.' He ordered before taking the phone away from him.

Daryl looked at him in surprise but did as he was told, looking back curiously over his shoulder as he left for the stairs, planning on staying in earshot.
'Told ya to get up there, boy!' His father said a little more sharply as if he read his mind.

Daryl didn't need to be told twice, and was soon at the top of the stairs before hiding himself from his dad's line of vision just where the wall rounded at the top of the stairs. Like always, he could hear his dad loud and clear from where he was.

'Why did ya tell me that my sons didn't want to speak to me? Ya could at least have told them that I called to see how Daryl was doin'! Ain't right of you to have done that. He thought I didn't care about him. Proud of yourself, are ya?'

There was a lengthy pause, Daryl knew that Mike had a way with words and although he couldn't hear, he knew that he would be doing his best to calm his Dad down. Yet he could see why his dad was angry, and didn't really understand himself why Mike had kept Dad's calls from them, not letting them speak to him. But he must have done it to help. Mike had told Merle that shortly before they left, Daryl remembered it clearly. Merle had sounded pretty much like dad did now, only difference was that dad sounded angrier.

'Ya want my boys for yourself, that it?' His voice rose in volume, making Daryl flinch even if he was out of harm's way
and his fathers rage wasn't being directed at him. 'Couldn't have any of your own so ya tried to steal mine instead, that it?'

Daryl winced at the low blow during the short pause that followed before his Dad started yelling again. He wondered where the hell Merle had got to, he said he was only going out for five minutes to buy something but it had been a hell of a lot longer than that.

'Don't ya ever get between me and mine, ya hear! You do it again and I'll end ya, and us being friends won't mean shit.' Will slammed down the phone and stomped off to the kitchen and Daryl just knew he was going to pour himself a new glass of whiskey to make himself feel better.

After a few minutes when his dad called for him, he pretended he'd been in his room all along by opening the door and shutting it loudly before he went downstairs. His dad was sitting where he'd been before the phone-call came.

'Come here, I still wanna talk to ya. He interrupted our talk.' His tone was more brusque this time, making Daryl feel unnerved and wondering again where his brother was. He always felt safer when he was around and he didn't dare to disobey when his father patted his lap again.
Soon he felt his arms around him like before, but tighter this time.
'Dad…'

'Yeah, what is it?' Dad's stubble tickled his cheek and he got a whiff of the cheap whiskey he usually drank.

'Are you and Uncle Mikey not friends anymore?'

There was a pause again, his father looking deep in thought, but he found himself quickly when Daryl didn't avert his eyes.
He sighed before he answered: 'Sure we are. I don't blame him for protecting you boys, I admit I was out of line. But what pisses me off is that he lied to ya about me not callin' you. Meanin' that all that time you thought I didn't give a shit about ya...that I wasn't sorry for what I did. I can only imagine how angry Merle was at me.'

Daryl thought it best to stay silent and let his dad vent instead of keeping it all in and waited patiently for him to continue.

'It's obvious he cares about you boys like you were his own...He's always been like that. For all the shit he did wrong not telling you the truth, Mike did take you in giving you a roof over your heads and then some. But it's below the belt is what it is, trying to tear us apart like that.'

'I don't think he'll do that again, dad. He knows he did wrong, he told Merle all about it.'

Daryl heard his father's sharp intake of breath. 'He did, did he? I wonder why Merle didn't bring it up with me when you got back home… Oh, well. I'll have a proper talk with Mike when things calm down some. Now let's just sit here and relax, what do you say to that, huh?'

Relieved, Daryl nodded, conversations like this with Dad always seemed like the third degree or a test he had to pass. Now it was all over. As time went, they talked some more about other mundane stuff, and Daryl was happy Dad didn't bring up Mike again. Constantly being on the alert for it though made him sleepy, and it didn't take too long before his head was nuzzled against his father's neck as sleep claimed him for its own.
He woke up to the sound of his father nervously clearing his throat, and just like that he was wide awake and alert, worried he'd done something wrong.

Then he felt it. Something hard was poking against his backside and somehow he knew not to ask about it, despite the blush that crept up his dad's face making him unsure what to do. He'd never seen him like this before. So nervous, embarrassed even. Despite his innocence he easily could tell the difference in his dad's body-language now, to what it had been when he'd first sat down in his lap. To him, his Dad had turned into a statue beneath him and usually when he tensed up like that it was time for Daryl to plan his escape. Worse, something told him that Merle still wasn't back and desperate not to wake the sleeping beast, he mimicked the frozen body beneath him and sat stock still.
'Dad, what did I do?'

'You just moved wrong, was all. Jus' stay still for a minute.' Daryl complied, silently wondering if he'd shifted wrong in Uncle Mikey's lap too.