Chapter 24
Liv woke up with Sarah being cuddled up against her. She couldn't help but smile. Sarah looked so peaceful and cute, she really didn't want to wake her. Reality will kick in like a wrecking ball as soon as she wakes up.
So Liv moved away carefully and Sarah rolled over without waking up. But while Liv was in the bathroom, Sarah woke up and knocked on the door.
"Come on in." Liv said.
"Good morning." Sarah said quietly.
"Good morning sweetie. I was wondering if you wanted to join me on my morning run? When I have problems, whether personal or work related, I go for a run to clear my mind, but I don't wanna push you. We can stay here and make breakfast or you can do whatever you feel you need to do right now." she said with an encouraging smile.
"No, it sounds great. Thank you, Liv."
"Great. I'll look for clothes you can wear while you are brushing your teeth, okay?" Sarah nodded.
Almost 2 hours later they were sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.
"How are you feeling?" Liv asked carefully.
"Better, I guess. The run was really good and the shower afterwards was like washing everything that has happened off of me. I still want to talk to her badly and thinking about how awful she must feel right now hurts a lot but I don't feel the need to cry at the moment, so I guess that's good."
"You are such a strong young woman. It's impressive." Sarah looked at her in disbelief.
"How can you say that, after everything that has happened yesterday? I was such a mess, well I still am. I was crying like a baby and I needed to be held by you. I totally lost it."
"Sarah, what happened yesterday is something that no one should have to experience. What her father did was wrong and horrible, I can't even say how sorry I am that you two had to go through this. Your reaction was more than understandable. Everyone would have reacted like this or even worse.
Don't tell yourself you are weak because you are quite the opposite. When I look at you I see a strong, beautiful young woman who isn't afraid to be herself and who is way too mature for her age. Don't let anyone tell you something different, stay true to yourself and love yourself for who you are."
Sarah jumped up from her seat and wrapped her arms around Olivia.
"Thank you." she whispered. Liv smiled and caressed her back gently.
Sarah insisted on doing the dishes, so she couldn't pick up her phone when it rang.
"Liv, can you get it? Maybe it's Lauren?"
"Sure." Liv said while walking over to the table where the phone was. She looked at the screen and it said 'Mom'.
"Sweety, it's your mom. You should get it yourself." she said while handing her the phone.
"Hi mom."
"Hi. I wasn't sure if you would pick up."
"Of course I do. I know you were worried and I am sorry, I didn't think about what I was saying yesterday."
"It's fine. I am just glad that you are fine. Your father is coming home today, I asked him to, because I think we all need to talk."
Liv's phone started to ring, it was Elliot.
"What? Mom, you shouldn't have done that. There is no need for him to come home. I am okay!"
"I don't think you are. You disappeared yesterday and didn't want to come home and you didn't come to me or your father with your problems, you went to... her." There was so much contempt in the last word that it was impossible to overhear it.
"You should hear yourself. It's making me really sad and angry. You should be glad that I have someone to go to, someone who cares about me and keeps me safe but all you think about is your anger and hate for her. I know you feel like she takes everything from you but she is not the problem, it's you!
She tells me to talk to you, to be more understanding and to take care of you but that's not possible. You are so negative, so self-pitying and unfair. She was there when I needed someone, she was there when you were wallowing in self- pity and didn't even realize I was hurting too. Stop blaming her and get your shit together!"
"…"
"Mom, I love you and you will always be my mom, no matter what, but you really need to stop this self destroying behaviour. I will see you when dad is here. Bye!"
"She really asked him to come back. I can't believe it! I didn't mean to ruin everything. I hope he isn't in too much trouble because of that." Sarah said worriedly.
"Don't worry. He is totally fine with it and the past two weeks were the important ones.
It really is okay, sweetie, you didn't ruin anything. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Thank you, but I did. I made mom ask him to cut his trip short because of my behavior and I made things worse between you and her. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."
"Stop worrying about me. I am fine.
The things between your mom and me are just that, between her and me, it's not your fault or your concern what is going on between us. You can't do anything about it, okay? Please, stop feeling the need to take care of it. I don't want it to cause even more problems in your family. It shouldn't stand between you and your mom."
"I know what you're trying to do and I get it, me trying to protect you in front of her doesn't help you because she gets even more mad but I just can't ignore the fact that she is treating you like this!
YOU, the most amazing human being ever. You didn't even do anything wrong. She hated you since the moment you and dad started to work together."
"I know but she is still your mother and she loves you, don't forget that.
And I didn't mean it like that. I don't have a problem with you trying to help because it makes things worse, I don't want you to do it because of your relationship with your mom. I don't want you two to fight over me."
"Okay, but I can't promise anything. I don't like it when people treat others like this. It's not okay." Liv hugged her.
"You are the amazing one here, Sarah." the young girl blushed and smiled shyly.
Olivia found herself in the car with Sarah on their way to Kathy's house.
She offered to bring her there, so Elliot didn't have to drive to her apartment first, to pick up Sarah. Now he could drive to Kathy's straight from the airport.
He should be there by now, she missed him so badly which made her feel weird and it kinda scared the shit out of her. She was never the clingy type. She always made sure that she had enough space.
Normally her boyfriends were the ones who wanted to spend more time with her but with Elliot it was different, she loved having him around and hated sleeping without him.
But she knew no matter how much she missed him or how happy she will be seeing him again, she can't show any kind of affection when she sees him now, not with Kathy around.
"Here we are." she said to Sarah.
"Thanks for bringing me. Can you wait here? I'll be back in a minute." Liv looked at her confused.
"Uh, sure."
"Thanks a lot." Sarah said and ran to the front door. The door opened before she reached it and Kathy stood there, looking confused to see Liv still sitting there in the car.
Sarah started to talk to her and Kathy didn't look happy. They started to argue and Elliot appeared behind Kathy.
Liv's heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.
What was going on? Only seeing him caused a reaction like this from her. She felt like a teenager who's crazy in love and also totally misplaced, like she was intruding something.
She hoped Sarah would come back soon, so she could get out of this weird situation but it wasn't Sarah who approached her, it was Elliot.
He walked over to the drivers door and opened it.
"Hi." he said smiling brightly.
"Hi." she said, smiling back at him. He bent forward but before he could even try to kiss her she pushed him back gently.
"Not here." she said calmly. He looked at her guiltily and disappointed.
"Well, Sarah just told us that she wants you to be with us when she talks to us, if you are okay with it." Liv looked at him with big eyes.
"What? But what about Kathy? I really don't think it's a good idea- me and her with you and.. "
"She has agreed to it. I can't say she likes it or that she is really okay with it but our daughter can be pretty persistent."
"El, I really don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to aggravate her. She is already so mad at us, well at me."
"I totally understand if you don't want to put yourself in this situation because I am sure she will say pretty bad things to you and I don't even wanna start with the way she will look at you but she agreed to it so she can't really hold it against us. It's up to you now." Liv took a deep breath and said with a smile," Well, I don't really have a choice, right?" He smiled at her and shook his head.
They walked inside together, with at least a 40 centimeter gap between them. On Liv's demand of course.
Kathy was already seated at the table and tried hard not to look in Liv's direction. Sarah ran towards Liv and hugged her.
"Thank you so much for doing this. It'll make things easier for me with you here."
Liv squeezed Sarah's arm gently, to tell her without words that she was here for her.
"Hi Kathy." she said calmly. Kathy didn't look at her but she whispered an almost silent "Hi".
Well, it's better than nothing, Liv thought. She was unsure of where to sit because she didn't want to upset Kathy even more, so she chose to sit at the opposite end of the table. El darted her a confused look but decided not to say anything. But Sarah did.
"Liv, come sit with me." she said smiling. Well, this won't end well.
The way Kathy looked at her, when Sarah asked her to sit with her, wasn't really nice to say at least.
Elliot tried to defuse the situation and started to talk, "So honey, what happened yesterday? Are you okay?"
Sarah grabbed Liv's hand and nodded.
"I am now." she said with a side glance at Liv.
Damn, this wasn't going well at all, Liv thought. Kathy will jump at her soon, if Sarah continues to act like Liv was a living angel, but she had to admit it was damn cute and she was really flattered. And most importantly she wanted to be there for Sarah.
"Before I can start with yesterday I have to tell you guys another thing. Something I was too afraid to tell you until now. I…" she looked at Liv again for encouragement.
Liv smiled and squeezed her hand, nodding slightly. Sarah took a deep breath and continued.
"Okay, so… I am into girls." she looked down at her legs and squeezed Liv's hand painfully hard.
Kathy sat up straight and looked at Sarah with a surprised and overwhelmed look. Elliot took in a sharp breath. Sarah slid nervously back and forth on her seat.
Liv felt so sorry for her, she was so nervous and she had a bad experience with people reacting to it, so she hoped that Elliot and Kathy would get their shit together and start to talk to Sarah.
She kicked El in the shin gently but certainly.
He sat up immediately and seemed to get the hint.
"Why were you afraid to tell us? We love you, no matter who you love."
Sarah reacted immediately. She looked up and started to smile while tears of relief rolled down her cheeks.
"I.. I don't know. I was afraid that you won't accept it, that you won't accept me.
I was afraid that you wouldn't believe me, afraid of you saying things like 'it's just a phase' or 'you are too young to know this' because I am not that young anymore, I do understand a lot of things and I need you to support me."
Elliot got up and walked over to her.
"Of course I believe you and I know, you are not a kid anymore, as much as I dislike that fact. Come here." he said while pulling her into a hug.
"Thank you, dad. Thank you so much."
Liv looked at Kathy, trying to figure out why she hasn't said anything yet and how she felt about it but Kathy looked down at her hands and her hair hid her face.
"Mom?" Sarah asked uneasily.
"I just need to let that sink in for a moment." Kathy said looking up. Sarah looked pretty nervous again and darted a concerned look in Liv's direction.
"Why are you looking at her? I really don't get it. She is no one!
Why is it so easy for you to talk to her?
Why are you always going to her for help? I just don't get it." Kathy suddenly shouted angrily.
Elliot wanted to say something but Liv touched his arm to tell him not to say anything. Sarah looked at her mom shocked.
"Because of this! You just answered it yourself." she shook her head in disappointment and continued, "You wanna know why I talk to her, why it is easier for me to talk to her, why I think she is amazing?
Well, she always tries to find time for me, no matter what's going on in her life and when I told her that there is a person at school I like and that I am not sure if it is mutual, she asked me one thing, you wanna know what?" Sarah was almost shouting now.
"She asked me what HER name was. I didn't tell her mom, she knew herself! Because she fucking cares and guess what, we continued talking about it like it was a boy, because she doesn't think it's weird or wrong or whatever your problem is.
She made me feel good about it. And how dare you call her a noone. What is wrong with you?"
Kathy looked at her wide eyed and with an open mouth. Liv was pretty surprised too, although she was really touched by Sarah's words. Kathy got up and looked straight at Liv.
"You and me, outside, now!" Liv looked at her surprised.
"Kathy, what the heck!" Elliot said angrily. But Kathy didn't react, she just stared at Liv.
"It's fine." Liv said to Elliot and Sarah and got up. She followed Kathy outside, unsure of what to expect.
"I don't know what game you are playing here but I warn you, stop stealing my family, stop turning my daughter against me and stop acting so damn innocent.
You and I both know that you are not. Keep out of my business or you will regret it. This is my last warning." Liv looked at her in disbelief.
"Kathy, I am not doing any of the things you accuse me of. I am sorry if you feel that way because I really try my best not to get into your way but I do care a lot about your daughters and Elliot, so I won't turn them down if they come to me but you can be sure that I won't talk bad about you.
I always tell Sarah to talk to you.
She is such a good girl and really needs her mom, which I am 100% aware that I am not.
I don't wanna steal her or anything like that. So there is no need for you to threaten me. I will go now so you guys can talk as a family.
Please tell them I said goodbye."
Kathy was unable to say anything, so Liv walked to her car and drove off.
"Mom, where's Liv?" Sarah asked when Kathy came back into the kitchen alone.
"She said she'll give us some time to talk about everything as a family. She told me to say goodbye to you, for her."
"What did you do?" Elliot asked angrily while taking out his phone, dialing Liv's number.
"Hey. Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.
"I am. Tell Sarah I am good and stop worrying about me. Take care of your family, okay?"
"But.."
"El, please. I promise you, I am fine. I know I didn't do anything wrong, so her words didn't hurt that much. And I am a badass NYPD detective, don't forget this." she said laughing.
"How dare me." he said laughing too.
"Good. I hope I will see you later." she said.
"I'll call you. Bye."
"Looking forward to it. Love you but don't say it back." she said while ending the call. Elliot smiled brightly while a warm feeling spread through his chest.
"She is fine." he said to Sarah but realized she wasn't convinced. "I swear to you honey, she is fine." Sarah nodded slightly and sat back down.
"So I guess I should talk about what happened yesterday now." she said. Elliot sat back down too and said, "Go ahead, honey." Kathy sat down as well and looked at Sarah.
"I was with Lauren, that's the girl I like, in the park. We .. kissed for the first time and suddenly her dad showed up. He got so freaking mad, screamed at her and eventually took her home. I felt like shit. He looked at me like I was a leper.
It was horrible. And I bet Lauren felt even worse.
Later I got a text from her, saying that she was grounded and that her dad wants to take her out of school too. She also isn't allowed to see me anymore."
Tears filled her eyes again and Elliot pulled her in a hug.
"I am so sorry." he said lovingly. Kathy got up too and caressed her back gently.
"I can't handle not seeing her ever again. I just wanna be able to talk to her. To tell her I am here for her, you know?"
"I am sure she knows, honey." Elliot said.
"I hope so." Sarah said.
