Sorry it's taken so long to update, we've been busy. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews! Here's another big chapter for you all to enjoy!

Daryl's hurting and naturally Merle wants to make him feel better. He also feels guilty as hell for what happened to him.

Will his Dad's and his big brother's comfort be enough? Daryl's tough but not even he can shrug this one off like it didn't happen.

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Part 19: Comfort

After their little chat, and shortly after his older boy had left to go upstairs and check on his other, Dad fell asleep in his armchair. The shock of finding Mike and his son together like that, and the exhaustion of keeping check of what details he was telling Merle had all been too much for him.

Merle sighed as he went, unable to stop himself from dwelling on what he'd done as his fleeting happiness faded to concern for his brother as he drew closer to him. He'd never hurt anyone before like he'd hurt Mike, then again he'd never had any reason, let alone wanted to. He'd crossed a line that night, even for him, but it had to be done for Daryl.

Maybe his brother wasn't the only one who had lost his innocence that night, he pondered bitterly.

Still, he told himself, it was Daryl after all, who was the important one in all of this, so he put his own selfish thoughts dwelling on himself aside.

...

Merle quickly found himself racing up the stairs, despite his drunkenness. He had such a high tolerance that even now he could pass for sober. Besides, his adrenaline was still pumping and going strong from everything that had happened despite how much he'd drank. The only hint of his inebriation was lack of co-ordination as he started to take two steps at a time with difficulty to get to his brother faster. He had the sudden terrible feeling that Daryl was crying out to him and all he wanted was to be with him.

Check on him.

Their Dad had said that he had already talked to him about what had happened and had calmed him down. Merle believed him - their father was good at that. Even though he had seen with his own eyes that he was sleeping peacefully when they'd left him in his bed, the guilt was too much because it was all his fault, Dad was right about that.

So, he had to make sure that Daryl was really coping.

As selfish as it was, Merle wasn't even sure if he could resist not waking Daryl up. He needed to know he was all right, he needed to see it to make himself feel better.

He had made Mike pay, then made it through that awkward conversation with his father afterwards who thought that he was to blame, but still been prepared to forgive him. Yet, when he thought back on it, his father had been acting pretty shifty too and now it was pretty obvious to Merle that he was hiding something. For him, not knowing what it was and if it meant Daryl was in more danger was the worst thing.

But he was destined to find out Dad's secret and it would probably make him livid when he did. For the moment he shook his suspicion off, emptied his mind so that he could focus on the one person that needed his full concentration, hell, deserved it, even.

It was the least he could do.

When he got to Daryl's room he was careful not to open the door too quickly, it would probably scare him if he did. Especially if he was asleep. When he peeked his head in, however, he found his brother sitting on his bed wide-awake. Looking like nodding off was the very last thing on his mind.

'Hey, baby bro, why ain't ya sleepin'?' Merle drawled but didn't give him a chance to answer before he closed the door behind him and walked into the bedroom. The small form on the bed made him hang back before he got to the bed though. 'You all right?' He asked.

Of course, all Daryl gave him in reply was a bewildered look before he rolled his eyes and snorted. Then he looked away.

'Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Stupid question, huh? All right if I sit next to ya?'

His younger sibling barely moved except to nod, a barely perceptible movement but he noticed. Knowing what his brother was really saying without opening his mouth, Merle nudged him with his elbow.

'Scoot.' Instead of moving, however, Daryl merely curled up away from him against the wall, trying to make himself look even smaller. Merle didn't take any notice of that though because he knew what his brother needed, what he was afraid of and automatically slung an arm around him. 'C'mere… He ain't going to get another chance at ya. Promise.'

No reply, but at least he could feel him relax a little under his arm.

'Daryl, what did Dad do when he...he found you and ...him?'

He shrugged. 'He was real nice about it... Didn't matter none though, I still felt like throwing up when he found us together like that. But he didn't even think it was my fault.'

Didn't even think it was my fault? Merle's heart skipped a beat at that. He was the one who got attacked but he was the one who felt guilty and ashamed? He realised that Daryl was more screwed up by what had happened than Dad realised but he decided not to make a point of it.

'Why the hell would he? It weren't your fault! None of it!' He squeezed his shoulders.

Daryl shrugged mutely. Merle wasn't fully convinced he really believed him. 'It wasn't! Ya believe him, don't you?' Merle repeated and suddenly grabbed him without warning so that they were face to face, he knew that it would be easier to convince his brother that way.

Bad move.

Daryl immediately winced and drew back. 'No! Let go of me!' He cried and immediately started to struggle to get free.

'Alright, calm down! I'm sorry!' Merle realised what he'd just done and what it must have reminded him of so he instantly let go.

But his brother was shaking violently now and Merle cursed himself. 'Sh...sorry. I just wanted to make you see... Ya know it wasn't your fault, don't you?' He took him by the chin more gently this time and forced him to look up at him. Daryl tried to avert his eyes, but that only made Merle shake him once more to get his point across.

'Now listen here, little brother. Whatever that bastard said to ya was only to screw with ya head, make ya think it was. Don't even for a second believe any of the words that came out of his mouth. You didn't do anythin' to make him think ya wanted it! Any of it! '

'Yeah, yeah.' He jerked his head away. 'It weren't me, it was all him, I fuckin' GET IT! Dad said the same. But I wasn't sure what with the shit he was whispering in my ear and him forcing his dick into my mouth!' There was rage in his voice and his fists were clenched at his sides but it was clear to anybody watching that he was also on the verge of tears too.

'That fucking bastard!' Merle gasped in shock and held him tighter even though his Dad had told him most of the details he'd overheard, that was exactly what Mike had done to his brother. It didn't matter since it all hit him full force at Daryl's words and it was made all the more disturbing when the words were coming from the person it had happened to. Suddenly it was like he was hearing it for the very first time all over again.

Once he'd calmed down a little, Daryl rested his head against his forearm, and without looking up he exhaled and quietly uttered, 'Merle…I don't feel so good.'

'I ain't surprised.'

'I think I'm gonna be sick...' Merle could see his brother fighting the nausea that had overcame him again when he told him what Mike had made him do. Daryl shrugged his arm off to rush into the bathroom, covering his mouth with his hand. But apart from his urgency, he moved as if he was scared of his own shadow. Worried, Merle followed him and soon enough he was retching again and again into the toilet.

As the hotdog and fries came back up, Merle rubbed his back in circles and whispered soothing words to him. But long after his stomach was empty, Daryl kept on heaving, stubbornly choking on his fingers until Merle pulled him away. 'Stop it!' He told him.

'I can't...Can't...get...the...taste...of him outta me!' Daryl complained as his body still insisted on ridding itself of its invader long after he was gone. 'It's like he's still fuckin' touchin' me!'

'Sh...I know.' Merle replied even though he didn't, couldn't, possibly know. Instead of babbling meaningless platitudes, he settled on pulling his brother down with him to the tiled floor and leaned them against the wall. 'But it'll get better, I promise, baby brother.' He cradled him there for a while against him and Daryl let him until his shuddering heaving fits passed. Almost as soon as they did, he was up again. Merle noticed with alarm the frantic energy in his movements as if he was afraid to sit still.

'I gotta wash out my mouth, Merle.'

'Fine. But I ain't leavin' ya.'

'I think I can brush my own teeth all by myself! Ain't a complete moron, ya know!' He snapped viciously yet his lower lip was trembling, betraying his true emotions.

Merle took in his trembling form, despite his fierceness, Daryl's eyes were red from all the vomiting. But it also was a telltale sign that he'd been weeping long and hard when he thought nobody was looking.

Merle shook his head. 'Ain't gonna happen. Think I'm leavin' ya alone like this?'

Daryl smiled for the first time and nodded as he let out a little shaky sigh of relief. In reality, Merle knew he'd been acting tougher than he felt in front of him and he knew the fact that he simply was there made him feel better. He just didn't want to look weak by asking him to stay.

Merle squeezed his shoulder, noting how tense it was. 'Come on.' He got him his toothbrush and even squeezed out the toothpaste on it before he handed it to him. Daryl nodded gratefully and shakily began brushing.

He watched him like a hawk from where he was leaning against the wall behind him and began counting in his head. After the fourth time Daryl put more toothpaste on his toothbrush to start all over again, Merle had enough and got up onto his feet and was soon by his brother's side. Sure enough, when Daryl spat again in the sink, there was red mixed with the white.

Merle didn't think twice before he took the toothbrush away from that death-grip.

'Stop it.' He told him. 'Keep on like that and you won't have any gums left, let alone teeth!'

'Give it back 'ere!' Daryl snarled and made to snatch the brush again but Merle put it high out of his reach. It was almost like they were playing like they used to – probably would have even been funny if not for the circumstances.

'Come on, four times is a bit much and you must have swigged half a bottle of mouthwash too.' Merle was exaggerating to make a joke but Daryl didn't take it that way.

But it did put a stop to his brother when he was expecting more hell from him. He was quite stubborn when he wanted to be. Still, Merle guessed he had used up most of the fight in him against that huge giant.

Daryl turned to frown at the bottle of mouthwash worriedly, 'Will he...?' He started timidly and stopped, looking up at him with wide eyes full of fear.

But he didn't have to say more, Merle knew what he was thinking as he firmly replaced the toothbrush in the glass and the toothpaste back on the shelf.

'I think how much toothpaste and mouthwash you just used will be the very last thing on his mind tomorrow, don't you? I doubt he'll even notice and if he does, he'll understand. Come on, now ya all cleaned up, let's get ya back into bed.' He lent down to grab his arm but Daryl stopped him.

'No, Merle. I feel ...I feel so...' He struggled for the right words before he let his hands fall to his sides in a pitiful gesture of helplessness.

'Dirty.' Merle sighed as he helped him finish, his heart lurching painfully in his chest. He'd been afraid of just this and it was obvious in how he'd nearly scrubbed his gums away from his teeth.

Daryl's lower lip trembled and he looked away without answering.

Merle fought the sudden urge to slap himself silly, how could he be so stupid. 'Of course ya feel dirty, ya haven't had a shower yet.' He said matter-of-factly. 'Come on, out of those pyjamas. I can get you fresh ones if you like.'

Daryl hesitated but started stripping out of habit but halfway through he suddenly froze to look at Merle in a way that the other didn't like at all.

'What is it?' Merle frowned. 'What's wrong?'

'Merle...' Daryl flushed and looked down at the bathroom floor.

He didn't seem to be able to finish his sentences lately, Merle thought sourly as he looked at his little brother, waiting patiently for him to finish. But he never did and Merle couldn't blame him.

'Oh, come on. I ain't gonna look.' Merle rolled his eyes, giving up and guessing what his brother was worried about. 'Stop bein' such a little pansy.' He teased him thoughtlessly without thinking about his words.

When the penny dropped, he blanched when he realised what he'd just said, probably Mike had called Daryl something along the same lines right before he yanked down his pyjama bottoms and here he was, being an insensitive ass as usual. Luckily, however, his brother didn't react.

'But still, can ya turn around?' If Merle hadn't been so alert to everything going on with his brother at that moment, he wouldn't have heard it since the question was barely above a whisper. Then everything became clear– Daryl was embarrassed.

'Uh, yeah, sure.'

Merle kept his promise and didn't look back at him until he heard the spray of water as the shower started. Only seconds in and he knew what Daryl was doing, he didn't even need to look at him to know that he was scrubbing himself raw, his frenziedmovements getting faster and more desperate by the second. He also didn't need to see him to know that his tears were mixed with the hot water and when he heard him let slip a muted sob or two, his suspicions were confirmed.

'Daryl… Ya want me there?'

'No!' He choked out furiously, and Merle had to keep telling himself to do what he was told, not go against his wishes because he'd had enough of that lately.

Even if it went against all his big brotherly instincts, Merle forced himself to stay right where he was in order to give his brother space. But when the sound of his weeping grew more ragged and broken-sounding, he couldn't hold back this time and was by his side in an instant. He grabbed his hands to stop him and turned off the showerhead to alternatively hug his shoulders and stroking his hair, murmuring reassurances as he did.

Daryl didn't fight back, but Merle could tell that he wasn't exactly thrilled about being coddled while buck naked either. Not that that would have been such a big deal before.

'Shh, it's only me. It's over now. And Dad and me, we've both got you. Ain't gonna let anythin' bad happen to you.'

Eventually he calmed down enough .

'Merle...'

'Yeah, little brother, what is it?'

'Still feel dirty.'

'Then I know just what you need.' He turned his back on him and started running the bath with both taps, carefully checking the temperature of the water.

Merle suddenly thought of something to cheer him up. Why hadn't he thought of it before?

'What bubble bath ya want?'

'Can I have a bit of all of them?' Daryl asked hopefully. He'd slung a towel around his hips as soon as the water was shut off.

'Course ya can.' Merle thought it pitiful and not a little pathetic that all his brother wanted after being attacked like that was some nice bubble bath to help make himself feel clean. To rid himself of the man's stink and the feel of his rough hands on his bare skin, no doubt.

'Ya can have anythin' ya want. And I don't think even the old man would mind, either. Whatever makes ya feel better.'

'Thanks, Merle.'

'Don't mention it. Anything for my sweet baby brother.' He'd said without thinking, sounding a little uncharacteristic coming from him. Daryl didn't seem to mind though as he turned his face up to him then and gave him a shy, grateful little smile that brightened up the whole of his wan, drawn face. Had Daryl been himself he would have scowled at being called something as sissy as that. It wasn't much but it was enough to give Merle a ray of hope that his little brother would be whole again one day.

And that's what they did, a little of each fruit flavored liquids – orange, peppermint, blueberry and lemon with hot water added to the brim.

Daryl picked up the shampoo – this had a more masculine fragrance of pine to it but he soon gave up when his arms felt too heavy to lift, leaving him sporting a questioning and sad expression on his face that had Merle fighting back the impulse to hug him again. He was probably wondering what the hell was wrong with him that he couldn't even rouse the energy to wash his own hair. After trying for a second time and failing miserably, he put the bottle on the edge of the bathtub with a sigh of resignation.

'Want help with that?' Merle asked him.

Daryl rolled his eyes and scowled, but handed the bottle to him. 'You tell anyone 'bout this, and you're dead, Merle!'

Merle snickered, clearly amused but happy to see some of his little brother's old fire back again.

'Ah, stop bein' a drama queen. Tell ya what, I'll even throw in one of my famous head and shoulder massages.' It worked wonders on the girls, usually ended up with them in his bed. Why shouldn't it help Daryl feel more relaxed too?

'Yeah, whatever.' Daryl pretended indifference but Merle spotted one of the corner of his brother's lips quirking upwards, showing that he was actually looking forward to it.

Merle grinned and soon had his hair worked up in a thick lather, but as soon as he noticed Daryl tense up, his movements became slower and more and more hesitant. 'What's wrong, little brother?'

Daryl lowered his head. He was trembling again and didn't answer and Merle just knew that he was caught up in a flashback of Mike. Had he brought it on by touching him like that? Maybe in a similar way to what the bastard had done?

Merle prayed not, because he enjoyed spoiling his little brother and making him feel good. The last thing he wanted was for it to remind him of anything bad.

'Sh...' He squeezed his shoulder. 'It's OK, ya safe now. He's gone for good.'

He finally rinsed his hair of shampoo while Daryl leaned back and just enjoyed the feeling of water soothing his aching muscles. Merle was far from done though. He could feel that Daryl were tense and knotted – no surprise there, but under his skillful touch that made him so popular with the opposite sex as well as his lean body and hard good looks, Merle felt them slowly loosen beneath his hands. He smirked when he felt Daryl came back to himself to let out long sighs of enjoyment and marveled at the huge change in him. He really was as tough as nails, going through what he did and bouncing back so quickly because to hear their Dad tell it; Mike had been on the verge of raping him before he rushed in to save the day.

Afterwards, Merle toweled his baby brother's hair dry, something he hadn't done for years. Still, Daryl was looking better by the minute except for the red handprint which seemed to stand out even more than before. Like the pervert had deliberately marked him for his own.

Merle felt the familiar uncontrollable rage welling up inside him again even though he knew it would eventually fade away. Both of them knew from bitter experience about injuries that eventually disappeared and ones that would scar.

He was thinking that he hadn't done nearly enough to make that fucker pay, he'd stopped too soon, but he pushed down these angry thoughts. They weren't going to help his brother get over what the bastard did to him after all.

'That still hurt?' He traced around it gingerly with his forefinger.

'I can barely feel it now.'

'Good.' But Merle didn't miss the little shudder that passed through his body.

'Come on. You must be tired. Feelin'... better now at least though?' It didn't escape either of them that what he really meant was if he finally felt clean enough to be able to try to get some sleep.

'Yeah.'

Merle finished toweling his hair and motioned him to get out.

'Merle...' He hesitated and looked back at him, reluctant to get out of the water.

'Damn it, I ain't gonna look at you, boy!' He snapped without thinking. Daryl flinched and looked down at the floor making Merle feel more guilty than ever. It's just that his eye-lids seemed to be growing heavier and heavier and he didn't mean to take it out on Daryl. Especially not him. But it wasn't just tiredness that was wearing him down, he hated seeing his brother like that. But regardless, that didn't give him an excuse to snap.

'I'm sorry.' He ruffled Daryl's hair. 'Jus' tired, I guess.'

'I'm...I'm sorry too, Merle. You having to stay up and look after me. Then there's everythin' else you had to do because of me.'

Merle was momentarily lost for words. He knew what his brother was getting at, not just now where he was actually there for him. Of course he must have heard Dad send him out to punish Mike on his behalf or overheard at least some of their conversation. Or maybe he'd figured it out for himself, he was no fool. Knew it was a matter of family honor that Mike would pay for his crime.

''Ain't that. Jus' hurry up, OK?' He quickly recovered himself. 'The water's gettin' cold real fast and can't have ya gettin' sick on top of everythin' else.'

'Yes, Merle.' He bowed his head meekly in submission before he got out, making his brother want to scream at how well he'd been trained just like a whipped pet dog, not only by Mike but their damn father as well. Yet, Merle grit his teeth and said nothing and as promised, averted his eyes. Instead, he focused on listening to the sounds of his brother drying himself with the towel as he waited with uncharacteristic patience.

'It safe for me to turn round now?' Merle managed to keep the irritation out of his voice without so much as a hint of sarcasm.

'Sure.'

Merle did and barely glanced at his brother with the small towel wrapped around his slender hips.

'I'll just go and get you some clean pyjamas, OK?'

'Thanks.' Daryl tossed his dirty ones into the laundry hamper, his lips twisting in such a look of utter disgust that Merle wondered if it wouldn't be better to throw them away once and for all. For they would always remind him of the ordeal he'd been forced to endure at Mike's less-than-gentle hands. He filed the thought away for later, wondering whether maybe burning them would be kind of symbolic when Daryl could deal better with what happened?

A few minutes later and Merle was in Daryl's room lying on top of the covers. Daryl, of course, was tucked up safely in bed under it.

There was a tense silence while the younger boy seemed to ponder a problem in his head.

'Merle, what did you do to him?' His voice was low as he whispered but it held a note of awe in it as well as fear.

His big brother's arm was around him again as he decided on the best answer to give but when he couldn't come up with anything he settled on a simple; 'I got rid of him for ya, that's all.'

'But how?' Daryl persisted, his blue eyes big and innocent.

'Believe me, ya don't want to know. He's gone for good and you'll never have to see him ever again, that's all ya need to know.'

'But is he...is he...?' Daryl was stubborn in his persistence, but was unable to say the word 'dead'.

'Told ya, best if ya don't ask.'

'Fine.' Daryl reluctantly gave up but it was clear he knew Merle was right, knowing what had been done wouldn't do him any good at this point.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother's small hands rubbing at his own arms, becoming more manic by the second. The shower, bath and the massage had relaxed him before, but it could only do so much. Now he was back to acting like there were ants crawling under his skin. It didn't take a rocket-scientist to understand what was going on.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Daryl nodded hesitantly and Merle got comfy on the bed next to his brother, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. His eyes were drooping with exhaustion because he knew right then that this was going to be a long night. This wasn't one of those times when a reassuring pat on the shoulder from his big brother would be enough to fix things.

Merle feared nothing ever would. Right now, however, he turned to him to try to make him articulate what he must be feeling. It was the only way he knew how to help him through some of it. 'I'm ya brother, ya can tell me. Just spit it out. I'm right here, ya don't got nothin' to be embarrassed about, ya hear me?'

'I couldn't get away, Merle. I tried, but he…he…Daryl's voice was shaking now, and Merle could tell he wasn't far away from tears. 'He put this slimy stuff on me...fuck, in me…to make everythin' easier and not hurt so much, he said... He asked me if I wanted it rough or slow and gentle but I kept telling him that I didn't want none of it. But he wouldn't listen and he didn't stop!'

Now that he'd started, it was all coming out in an uncontrollable torrent.

With that, Merle was wide awake again, heart thumping furiously in his chest. 'That fucking piece of shit!'

Daryl recoiled then and clammed up.

'No, sorry, carry on. I jus' can't believe what he did, is all.' Merle patted his hair.

Daryl could might as well have been telling Merle that he was dying what with all the emotions packed into his hoarse voice. Merle put his face closer to his in understanding, it was clear as day that the dam was about to burst and besides, he was trembling like crazy.

'Hey, hey, hey…Easy…' Merle 's fingers were moving carefully through his little brother's hair just like their Dad's used to do occasionally when he was in a good mood but would do now much more often because of Mike.

'He touched me… everywhere. I had him in my mouth, Merle, and I couldn't breathe! Sometimes I even thought I was gonna choke on him!'

Inside Merle was fuming, but he was careful to hide it since his outburst would most likely scare and distract his little brother from talking about something that was already very difficult for him.

'And ...and the worst thing was Dad comin' in and seein' me and him like that...with him tryin' to...tryin' to...' Daryl dissolved into tears when he recalled the shameful scene.

'Sh...It's OK, I told ya don't hold anythin' back, tell me everythin'. ' Merle rubbed his back.

'And he said...he said that I'd been flirtin' with him, that I led him on!' Daryl blurted out as soon as he could speak again. 'In the middle of it all, he even called me 'a tease'.

'Fucking hell! That's twisted!' Merle went pale and tightened his hold on him. 'Of course you didn't do nothin' to lead him on!'

'I fought him as hard as I could at first, but there was only so much I could do, ya know? That's when he got angry and hit me. When he first came in and sat on my bed, I still thought Dad would hear me screamin' or that you would come home soon but I couldn't keep it up… I wasn't able to fight him long enough… 'Cos in the end, I still took his dick in my mouth!'

'Sh...He scared you...' Merle stroked his hair. 'He threatened ya too, didn't he?'

'Still, you wouldn't have done it! You wouldn't have given inlike that!' Daryl rounded on him, tears of fury in his eyes. 'Anyone would have tried that shit with you and you would bite their dick off! Why couldn't I?'

'Sh...He was a big motherfucker, a fuckin' man mountain. I don't know what I would have done...' Merle lied for his little brother's sake.

'But why did he start blanking me then? He wasn't always like it, he used to take good care of us. You remember when he changed?'

'Obviously, he ignored you like he did cause he didn't feel comfortable around you and now we know why! And him and Dad had that fight, remember? Things were never the same between them after that.'

'It really weren't me then? Somethin' I did?' Daryl's voice was quivering and his tone was pleading as he tilted his face up to read his eyes.

'No, of course not! He was jus' tryin' to make himself feel better about what he was doin' by blaming you!'

'Is...is that true?' Daryl looked up at him with such pitiful desperate need for reassurance that Merle brushed his hair off his face.

'Sure is.'

'Then...Then...why do I feel like he was right?' He looked up at him in abject misery. Merle should have known – nobody gets over a sexual assault like that in one day whether it went the whole way or not. Especially when they were only 13. Worse of all - he had no answer to his question so he kissed his temple as if in apology.

'Go to sleep, little brother. Things'll look better in the morning. They always do.' Was the only answer he could give him.

Daryl turned his head and buried it in his brother's chest. Merle responded by stroking his hair with his other hand. Just when he thought he was asleep and he was thinking that it was a good time for him to slip out, Daryl spoke up again, 'Merle?'

'Yeah?' He answered more tiredly than he intended.

'Ya high again?'

Merle blinked a few times before he cleared his throat nervously to answer. 'No, not anymore. All this has sobered me up, believe me. Why?'

'Your eyes were almost black in the bathroom.'

'Well, it's gonna take me a while to calm down after what that fucker did. I'm still angry, Dad too. But that ain't nothin' for ya to worry about. Try to go to sleep. You need it after everythin' you've been through.' He brushed back his hair a couple of times and it seemed to work, at least it got him to slow down his breathing a little until it seemed like he was falling asleep.

'Merle?' He heard him ask a few minutes later just when he was preparing to leave again. He needed to get his own head down after all this. Process all of this.

'What?' He tried to keep the irritation out of his voice. 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'

'I can't.'

'Because I'm here keeping you awake. That's why. I'll go if you want.'

'No, that ain't it. I jus'...jus' can't stop... shakin'. I don't want you to go..' He finished awkwardly, obviously reluctant to admit that he was too scared to sleep alone. Like a little kid with the lights off who was afraid of the monster under his bed.

It was true, Merle could feel him trembling like crazy constantly, except for the couple of minutes when he'd dropped off.

'Merle?'

'Yes?' He replied a little too sharply making him stroke his arm in apology.

'Can you stay? Just for tonight? It's jus' that I ...I can feel him touchin' me and whisperin' his shit in my ear.' He shivered. 'I drop off then I wake up and he's there with me. Even...even feel his weight on top of me pinnin' me down, stoppin' me from bein' able to breathe properly'.' His voice cracked. 'Please, Merle.'

Now how could he say no to that? He kicked his boots off and got in under the covers and pulled them back under both their chins. 'That better?'

'Yeah but...'

Merle grinned because he didn't really mind as much as he made out. 'Come on then.' He wrapped his arms around him and Daryl sighed in relief as he settled his head against his chest once more.

'He gone now?' He asked after a while. Daryl nodded. 'You can't feel his fuckin' hands on ya no more? Ya sure?'

'No, Merle.' He murmured sleepily against him. 'I mean yes.'

'Good. Now go to sleep.'

'Night, Merle.'

'Night.'

But it didn't last. It was two hours later when Merle glanced at the green digital readout on Daryl's alarm clock and saw that it was a mere two hours later, 04.40 am. Daryl's muttering and trembling had woken him up. But instead of feeling annoyed, it only added to his feeling of guilt as he tried to soothe him again, this time unsuccessfully.

Suddenly, Merle had the strange idea that if it was their Dad there comforting him instead, he'd sleep the whole night through without ever waking up or having bad dreams. A sibling's touch was nothing to a parent's after all.

Not like that was ever going to happen.

Something else Merle had screwed up when it came to Daryl. 'Didn't protect you and now I can't even do this properly! Some great big brother I turned out to be!' He murmured aloud, kicking himself mentally, remembering Dad's accusations.

Eventually, after an eternity it seemed, Merle finally got him to calm down with soft words and touches that he never gave to a woman once he'd got everything he wanted from her. He wasn't the cuddling type after the deed was done, but he did it for his baby brother.

Finally, he managed to slip out without waking Daryl to get some much needed rest himself. Besides, he couldn't sleep when his brother seemed intent on kicking him out of bed. But he soon changed his mind after he'd gotten something to eat and slipped right back in by Daryl's side.

Earlier, Will had also stirred from sleep and rubbed his eyes. For one blissful moment, he was unable to recall the recent events – his teenage son nearly raped, his brutal little heart to heart with Mike and then Merle dragging him off to his fate.

Then the truth hit him like a sledgehammer in the center of his chest. 'No!' He nearly cried out. 'Daryl!' He had another moment of panic then he remembered that he'd put him to bed upstairs.

His heart thudding although he knew his youngest was safe, he climbed the stairs to compulsively check on him. Anticipating comforting him in his sleep like he'd done a few hours before, he felt himself get hard at the thought of touching that silky smooth skin again, running his hand through his hair...And best of all, he'd have an excuse to touch his son without it being weird.

He'd have good reason because no doubt Daryl was still scared after the incident with Mike, left all alone in that bed by himself not to mention in the same room where it all had happened. With nobody around to comfort him or tell him that everything would look brighter in the morning.

As he mounted the stairs towards his son's room, getting closer and closer to the object of his desire, his excitement grew equally. Will found that he had to bite down on his lower lip to stop the urge to dip his hand down his pants to fondle himself...the desires were getting harder and harder to control lately. Worse- seeing Mike hurt his little boy like that should have completely disgusted him, put him off forever and how Will wished to God it had. However, just as much as he hated the man for what he'd tried to do, he loathed him even more for putting that image of them together in his head that fueled his own fantasies.

Will stopped near the top of the stairs then, debating if he should risk looking in on Daryl. He might not be able to hold back this time because at that moment, it was like Mike was taunting him.

Will regretted letting his other son punish the man, he wished he still had him locked in the cellar so that he could torture him again and again and again. Make him suffer long and slow. Draw it out before giving him the mercy of death that he'd surely be begging for by then. Will gave a savage little grin at the thought.

Mike could have been his new plaything.

Oh well, too late now, he thought as he took a turn towards his second son's room.

He opened the door slowly and froze when he saw two bodies under the covers instead of the single diminutive form he was expecting. Merle was in bed with him! Merle didn't do touchy-feely, had never been the kind of boy who liked to snuggle with his father unlike his brother. Merle didn't like to kiss and cuddle so what the hell was he doing with Daryl in bed? Will had all kinds of crazy thoughts spinning in his head, all kinds of sick suspicions that he told himself just couldn't be true.

Then he looked closer. His oldest son had his arm around his brother, it was just comfort, was all. They were just sleeping as innocently as the two lost babes in that fabled wood. No doubt Daryl had got scared and pleaded with his big brother to stay when he went to check up on him.

Will listened to the deep sound of their breathing for a moment before he trod silently across the floor to the bed. He gazed at their peacefully sleeping faces as if looking for something before he lifted up the cover. When he saw that they were both fully clothed, he breathed out a long, deep, silent sigh of relief.

Will thought that he must be losing it, right there and then. What with Mike and the sick thoughts he put into his head, who could blame him for not being able to trust anyone around his little boy anymore? He shook his head as he had to agree that suspecting Merle was ridiculous. As if Merle would try something like that with him...

Merle loves him, he thought, always protects him, he would never hurt him!

Which was more than Will could say of himself.

He shook his head as if to clear it, thinking he must be projecting his own sickness onto his son. Or maybe he was still high...or drunk. That must be it, why his thoughts were all so muddled. Also, he couldn't deny that he was furious with Merle for not telling him about Mike. In fact, it was all Merle's fault,Will hadn't even thought about how he was going to make him pay whatever he had said, how convincingly he had feigned forgiveness. Now he'd inevitably stepped on his father's toes again, taking over with Daryl like that because that was Will's job, not Merle's! Jealous as hell that Merle had denied him the opportunity, he had to turn around and leave.

At around 05:30, Merle suddenly bolted up in his brother's bed. Wide-awake like he'd never slept.

The thought that had woken him up so rudely was flashing in front of him...if his brain was a open movie theater screen, the words would be flashing garish yellow neon. Large and bright and impossible to miss.

The realization that had come to him while he slept, presumably while his drug-addled and boozy brain was working overtime to clear itself, was as clear as day now. Even in his slumber, his mind had been going over his conversation with Dad then comparing his words with Daryl's.

'Fuck!' He pounded his fist into his other palm. I don't believe it! He thought to himself. Why would he...?

Then: How could he?

Merle had no choice other than to resign himself to the fact that he wouldn't be able to do anything about what he'd found out by putting two and two together until the morning.

He also knew that he would be getting no more sleep that night. It didn't matter, the person he had to confront would be up very soon, no doubt reaching for his first whisky of the day before breakfast.

'You lied to me! Blamed me and all along...I'm goin' to fuckin' kill you.' He snarled out loud to no-one in particular. The resolve was clear in his mind.