Part 23 Nocturnal Visits

Dad's already shown some of his old side although he's doing his best to be a good father and how long will it be until the monster within is unleashed? Daryl already senses that his Daddy isn't quite right when it comes to him but he remains oblivious to the real reason.

How long can Will hold onto his self-control? Will Daryl get over Mike? He's tough but he's still a kid.

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He was standing in the kitchen looking out of the window at the driveway waiting for Daryl to arrive. When he did, Will's heart did two things, firstly it bounced with happiness over seeing him again, secondly it also sank.

Will had been naïve enough to actually think he'd made progress, hadn't thought about Daryl in that way for almost four whole days.

He had been hopeful that some time apart from him was the only thing he'd needed. That, however, was before he saw his son again proving that it hadn't worked and now he realised that there was no remedy for his particular brand of sickness.

Despite his sudden gloomy thoughts, Will was happy to open the door for his youngest as he returned from his four day camping trip during which he'd turned 14. It had been a birthday present from his father. Will had scrimped and saved for months for it, determined to fulfil his promise and make it up to the boy for all the times he'd been forced to stay home due to lack of money. Also out of guilt for letting Mike near him and for all the times he'd lost his temper and taken his misdirected sick feelings out on him. Even though Will knew he'd never do that again.

In any case, after recent events in particular, he was even more glad that he had saved the money, the boy needed a treat. Most importantly, he needed to get out of the house and be a boy again and do normal boy things. Will was determined not to let that scumbag take his childhood away from his son. So he felt it was only fitting that Daryl would celebrate his birthday in style with his friends because Will had to face it, he didn't have much to offer him.

During the time his son had been away, he'd also stopped drinking so much and was feeling much better for it – more balanced somehow.

He expected Merle would be back home from work later to shower his baby brother with treats and gifts to make up for any shortfall of his. Will was pleased to see that his sacrifices were worth it because Daryl had clearly been in his element – as a Dixon, hunting was naturally in his blood.

That was proven the minute Daryl had entered the door, with rosy cheeks and a huge smile on his face that never faltered. He was ecstatic over the stuff they'd seen and done, and especially over the praise from the teachers he'd got.

He was babbling on excitedly to his father about his friend Eric and the things they'd got up to. Amazingly, Daryl was looking much better these days, happier and seemed less highly-strung. Moreover, he learnt that Daryl had shone over the rest of the dumb kids and won the best-tracker prize (his birthday notwithstanding)when he showed him the silver trophy. Will decided that seeing him glowing for once when he got back made all the extra shifts worthwhile. He'd actually found some work at the new calculator factory. Will beamed with pride as he held him close on his lap and praised him; 'That's my smart boy. Better than all the rest.'

Will thought that Daryl hadn't even heard the praise in all his eagerness as he blurted out: 'The best thing 'bout it was that Shane kept his distance. He doesn't bother me as much lately. I got to talk to Andrea. But she weren't so good at huntin'...didn't like getting her shoes dirty.'

Will chuckled and kissed his cheek. 'So, you and her gettin' on, huh? She still with Shane?'

'Nah. She's seen through him now. And she's...she's kinda pretty, Dad.' He gushed. 'I think...think maybe she likes me.'

'Uhu, and what does this girl that might fancy you look like?'

'She's tall with long, blonde hair. Real smart too. But like I said, she couldn't hunt for shit.' He smiled and shook his head as if he was lost in his thoughts.

Will grinned, ignoring the twisting knife in his gut. 'Well, maybe she could be a nice little girlfriend for you. You gonna try and chat her up?'

Daryl blushed and looked down. 'Ain't got that far yet...but at least she's talkin' to me.'

'You jus' carry on and use that good ole Dixon charm.' Will tried to sound more enthusiastic than he felt.

Daryl laughed and hid his face in his father's shoulder as if embarrassed.

Will thought this would be a good time to give Daryl his main present so he reached around him to pick up the small gift that was lying there ready on the coffee table.

Daryl unwrapped it with excitement to reveal a silver-plated compass embossed with his initials 'DD' on the back. Will watched him sit cross-legged on the floor and examine it carefully as if he was expecting to find some half-hidden gem inside and he felt pleased to see how much Daryl seemed to like it.

'To help you track, son.'

'Thanks, Dad!' He flung his arms around him. Will beamed as he hugged him back gently.

Will had made sausages, fried potato pancakes and green beans to celebrate his homecoming and everything had gone nicely for once in their home. Just like a normal family. Even Merle behaved himself and though he'd never admit it, Will could tell he was pleased to have his little brother safe back home. Of course he came with a gift, one that was wrapped in red and blue wrapping paper which he handed his brother that looked up at him in open gratitude.

Merle smiled and took a seat at the table. 'Go on, open it.'

Daryl didn't need to be told twice as he ripped it open to reveal a handsome knife, clean and sharp even with a nice genuine brown leather pouch to keep it in. Will knew that it must have cost Merle at least one month's salary to save enough to buy it. It made Will's paltry gifts – such as they were- pale in comparison and he could tell Daryl had fallen in love with it at first sight.

'Heard about how you knocked them all dead on your school hunting trip.' Merle chuckled and ruffled his hair. 'I must have known you would so that's why I brought this for ya.'

'Thanks, Merle.'He gushed, looking up at his big brother in rapt adoration that made Will want to grit his teeth in jealousy.

'You can use it when we go on a hunt next time.'

Will frowned over at Merle, his silent question clear – Where did you get the money for that? But Merle didn't see as he was too focused on watching his little brother's reaction.

'Now, you be careful with that. Make sure you don't kill anybody.' Will grumbled.

'Leave him alone, Dad.' Merle looked at him sharply.

Will let that one go but wondered when the dynamics in their relationship had changed so that a son of his dared to tell him what to do.

Meanwhile, Daryl looked up at Merle from where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor like he was the second coming. Something else that grated on Will who'd been happy only a couple of hours ago. On top of all this, Merle promised Daryl he would take him out to go bowling and for burger and chips the next day which happened to be the weekend.

Accompanying his growing anger at his disrespectful and ungrateful older offspring, Will noticed with dismay that boy, the urges had come back - right along with the boy - in all of their former glory. Pictures so clear in his mind that it was sometimes difficult for him to tell the difference between fantasy and reality even. Worse – it seemed like the 4 day break had forced those feelings back with a vengeance and Will felt like he was drowning in them, unable to withstand the waves of desire crashing over his head.

So he distracted himself with unimportant stuff throughout the evening, actually managing to even have a conversation with his boys as they ate after the presents were opened without his mind drifting off to inappropriate-land.

He was feeling pleased with himself, if he could just distract himself doing other things, maybe it would all work out.

After their meal, father and sons watched soccer matches on TV in a compatible silence – for an hour or two until Merle got a phone call announcing that he was going out. The look of heartbroken disappointment that Daryl gave his brother made Will feel savagely glad.

Merle finally noticed his brother's reaction but only shrugged his shoulders apologetically at him. 'I'm sorry. It's work - I gotta go.'

'What kind of work calls you up at nearly 11pm, for fuck's sake?' Will scowled at him. Will was pissed off as hell with him not only because Daryl favored his present but now for cuttingback on his promise. No doubt Daryl realized that this probably meant that Merle wouldn't be taking him out the next day.

Daryl still looked upset but shrugged back and smiled sweetly. 'It's OK, Merle. Thanks for the knife, anyway. It was an awesome gift!'

Will felt gratified that Merle wasn't perfect after all in Daryl's eyes, he couldn't be, not when letting him down like that.

'I'm sorry, bro. I'll make it up to you, promise.'

With that, Merle picked up his wallet and was gone, just like that.

'Come here, boy.' Their father opened his arms to him. 'It's OK. We'll have fun even if it is only just you and me.'

As the evening went on and he drank more and more, Will was dangerously tempted to let out his anger on the boy in a sharp turnabout in his mood. Daryl must have sensed it – the boy didn't miss a trick when it came to him and hesitantly said that he was feeling tired and was going up to bed. Will let him go because it was nearly midnight, anyway.

Will realized that his fists were clenched tightly at his sides and released them. He tried to keep the snarl out of his voice as he nodded and wished the boy goodnight.

Daryl frowned and hurriedly left the room. ''Night, Dad.'' He answered without looking back.

After his youngest son left, Will slumped back and released a sigh.

It had proved to be a particularly nasty day for him due to the demons in his head, at the same time that his son seemed to be getting over his. Will's on the other hand, had stubbornly returned when it started to become clear that Daryl no longer needed him as much as he previously did. As the nightmares receded and he got stronger, Will grew weaker and since the confrontation with his eldest son, he'd been more careful than ever with what he said and did in front of the boy.

More often than not, Will had been annoyed at Daryl's neediness but inexplicably when that slowly disappeared, it wasn't long until Will realized it was when he felt whole.

Maybe it had all to do with it just being a weird after-shock stemming from losing his wife. Forcing him to direct his attentions and needs to the nearest person at hand. Also, his mind and his heart, both full of loneliness and a sorrow still raw, had become misdirected at his own son.

That sense of hope he felt, when he was trying to justify his feelings to himself would be shattered into a million pieces when sleep finally claimed him late at night.

He dozed off in the armchair, definitely not for the first time once he started on the hard stuff. He woke up with a start. The TV was still flickering – some crappy old black and white movie and his glass of whiskey still had a fewdrops in it so he picked it up and drained it with a grunt before he made his way upstairs.

Will told himself that he was checking up on him, that he wasn't having any more bad dreams... One guilty thought had time to pass through his troubled mind before he opened the door. Telling himself that he was afraid that now the kid was back home in the same bed where it happened, the nightmares might resurface even though they'd had a nice time. For a long time after Mike, Will had made it his habit to go and check on his son in bed – sometimes several times a night. The boy rarely woke up even in the throes of a nightmare.

Will liked to imagine that somehow even if Daryl wasn't fully aware, he could still feel that he was not alone and that his father was there, watching over him even in his sleep.

Closing the bedroom door quietly behind him, he gasped at what he saw there and bit his knuckles. His son's dark hair splayed out all over the pillow, his cheeks rosy for once and his boyishly narrow, pale shoulders bare. Despite himself, Will couldn't help wondering if the boy went to sleep naked under the sheet like he and Merle did when it was too hot to do anything else. Georgian summers could be savage, and this one certainly took first prize because it was only the beginning of June.

He was just about to pull down the sheet further when Daryl started muttering in his sleep just as Will had feared. Twisting and jerking, getting himself all tangled up in it.

'No...don't. Don't touch me!' He yelled furiously - so loud that Will was surprised Daryl didn't wake himself up. He felt a surge of pride at the spirit he showed even in his sleep.

He moved closer then, looking down at his son, whose face was twisted in anxiety- So much that Will felt the urge to wake him, to free him from his nightmare.

'Sh...sh...Easy now, son.' Will gently stroked his hair off his face, deciding it was probably best to let Daryl work things out in his sleep, maybe that would make it easier for him in the long run. But not waking him up didn't mean he couldn't comfort him, so he sat next to him. 'It's OK. Ain't no one gonna touch ya. Daddy won't let them.' He soothed.

'Get the fuck off me.' Daryl ordered him so sharply in his sleep that Will immediately tore his hand away. He frowned as he let it just hover above his son's head for a few seconds. But Daryl started to sob then, a heart-breaking noise that was full of panic and vulnerability, tearing Will's heart to shreds. Not least because it reminded him of the noises he'd heard coming from his room that night when he'd kicked the door in.

'Didn't ya hear? I don't wanna… Please don't...'. He pleaded.

Will forgot all about his guilty thoughts, of course Daryl was dreaming about that piece of shit again. About what he did to him. He regretted that he hadn't made Mike hurt more. But then he knew he could trust Merle to take revenge on Daryl's behalf. Yet the rage was still mixed with grief because Mike had been like a brother to him, after all. Yet, he didn't grieve for him whenever he remembered what he'd tried to do to his son. In fact felt no sorrow or pity for the man whatsoever because it had also been an insult to him because Daryl was his to do what he pleased with.

Daryl belonged to him.

His son broke his train of thoughts by continuing to thrash around in his sleep, almost tumbling off the bed now. Will, used his arm as a barrier to prevent him from falling but still without touching him. 'Please...don't make me...' Daryl whimpered pathetically in his sleep and Will hated that sound of weakness. The boy couldn't sound less Dixon-like if he tried.

Instead of getting angry though, he continued to speak to him softly, 'It's OK, Daddy's here. Ain't gonna let no one hurt ya.' Will drew back a little before he cautiously started stroking his hair on the back of his neck now like he knew he liked. He found it soothing himself to run his fingers through its glossy softness. He noticed that it was getting long there – he'd have to remind him to get a haircut.

Will's heart nearly leapt into his mouth when Daryl moved closer to him – or rather to his hand in his sleep. He wasn't trying to wake him up – didn't want to disturb his rest no matter how tormented that rest was. But miraculously, Daryl started to calm down. Just like he'd heard his words in his sleep.

'That's my sweet boy.' Will crooned at him. 'So brave and innocent even after everything he did to you.' He gushed quietly. 'You kept your purity.' He murmured in awe as he caressed him gently in his sleep.

Daryl muttered to himself at this but quietened down before he turned over and started to snore softly. The sheet slipped down his back then, revealing the welts and scars from last time he had lost his temper.

Will winced despite himself, remembering when he'd given him all those lashes at once, his son not giving him an inch until the very last one's. Daryl was the same when he cut him with the knife, not a peep. That had just made Will see red. He had lost control simply because Daryl had toughened up by then and refused to cry or beg for him to stop like he used to. But then, as he drew the rest of the sheet down to reveal more of his boy's body his thoughts began to wonder again.

He moved very carefully, to not wake him up. Will ran his eyes over his round buttocks, completely smooth except for the faded red, angry scars crossing them.

Did he really do that? He wondered not for the first time. Two years seemed like a lifetime ago. Again, he felt that old stab of guilt, he hadn't meant to go that far. Things had just got of control especially when Daryl had refused to give in, refusing to make a sound like that. Making a statement of his own more like. Even though Will had wanted him to toughen up, at that particular time his subconscious had clearly wanted the boy to be as submissive as he could possibly be.

But mostly he'd lost it because of those feelings the boy aroused in him – the emotions he had to force down every day.

He looked at his face briefly and listened to his snores and regular breathing – checking that he was fast asleep. The last thing Will wanted was Daryl waking up. He doubted he would, the boy slept like the dead most nights and he was pretty sure that he could do what he wanted to without the boy ever being aware of it.

He only wanted to touch and touching wasn't hurting, was it? Besides, if he did it right, Daryl wouldn't even know. This would all hopefully get tangled up in a dream, replacing him with Mike as the leading-role.

He was going to get some pleasure from his son like Mike had tried to do, He just had to make sure he did it right without scaring or damaging him further.

He found his eyes drawn to his son's back, before he knew it his eyes wandered further down to those perfect white globes of flesh again. Will felt himself get excited – and he savagely tried to push his arousal down with thoughts that would take care of that problem. But nothing seemed to work. Not even thinking about Roberta Watkins saggy tits - that she flaunted by not wearing a bra - did the trick.

He stretched out his hand and tentatively traced the scars running across his son's buttocks with his index finger but stopped immediately when he felt Daryl stir. He muttered something inaudible but still didn't wake up.

Getting braver now, Will carried on where he'd left off. 'My beautiful boy,' he whispered, spell-bound, seeing what Mike had seen. Suddenly another idea popped into his head. He wanted to do something else – but could he?

'Daddy ain't gonna hurt you, not like Mikey, that sick fuck.' He snarled.'Ain't never gonna hurt my sweet, innocent boy. Not like that.'

He reached down and did what he'd fantasised about. Kissed those scars lightly, giving each one two or three kisses, and prepared himself carefully for the next step.

All the time wondering if he could really go through with it.