Ye Battle Royale

(Or "Middle Ages Crisis")

"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE HAD GONE BACK TO THE MIDDLE AGES ALONG WITH MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN, AND LIKE THE QUESTS OF KING ARTHUR, THEY TOO WENT ON THEIR OWN—TO SAVE A BABY UNICORN FROM BEING KILLED, THANKS TO BORIS AND NATASHA CONVINCING THE KNIGHTS THAT THE BLOOD OF A UNICORN WILL GRANT ANYONE IMMORTALITY."

"Ah yes, eet vas great idea gettink knights to do beedink." Boris chuckled. "Ve keel moose and sqvirrel and after zat, ve can have make out session een torture dungeon!"

"Oh, ju really know ow' to treat a voomahn, dollink lyubov!" Natasha exclaimed, swooning at the very thought.

"AFTER A RUN IN WITH A VICIOUS DRAGON, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE BECAME FRIENDS WITH THE VALIANT KNIGHT CRUSADER RABBIT, ALONG WITH HIS TIGER FRIEND RAGS."

"—Another round over here, barkeep!" Crusader exclaimed, tossing a few coins onto the table, he and Rags both super excited for the next round of mead.

"Uh, mister Crusader?" Rocky asked. "Shouldn't we be trying to return the unicorn to her folks? This really isn't the place for a young one like her…"

"Oh, alright…" Crusader replied, grumbling. "Rags, I suppose we shall be taking our mead to go…."

"AND WITH THAT, THE JOURNEY CONTINUED ONCE MORE, WITH OUR HEROES EVENTUALLY ARRIVING AT THE UNICORN MEADOWS, A PICTURESQUE LOCATION WITH SOFT GRASS, WILLOW TREES AND A SMALL BROOK THAT RESEMBLED A STREAM OF LIQUID SILVER."

"Well, looks like this is the place!" Rocky told the baby unicorn as they dismounted from the horse.

"HOLD EET RIGHT DERE, BUSTER!" The voice of Boris exclaimed all of a sudden.

"ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, ALONG WITH CRUSADER AND RAGS AND THE BABY UNICORN NOTICED THAT THEY WERE IN FACT SURROUNDED BY THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE, LED BY BORIS AND NATASHA."

"Oh great…" Rocky spoke. "Not these weirdos again…"

"THE KNIGHTS LOWERED THEIR CROSSBOWS AND PREPARED TO FIRE DEADLY FLAMING ARROWS DIRECTLY AT ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, THE UNICORN, CRUSADER AND RAGS."

"READYYYY…" Boris spoke. "AIMSKI—"

"SUDDENLY, THERE CAME A WHINNY, AND ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, ALONG WITH BORIS, NATASHA, PEABODY AND SHERMAN NOTICED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL UNICORN ANYONE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF LOOKING AT. IT WAS TALL, WHITE-FURRED, AND MUSCULAR, WITH MULTIPLE FLOWERS IN ITS HAIR, BEAUTIFUL EYES WITH LONG LASHES, CREAMY GOLD-COLORED HOOVES, AND A LONG, PASTEL-PINK MANE."

"Greetings!" The unicorn spoke, approaching the moose and squirrel.

"Wow! Another unicorn? Who are you?!" Rocky asked. "By the way, I'm Rocky and this is Bullwinkle."

"I, am Ambrosia, matriarch of the Unicorns." The female unicorn spoke. "I see thou hath been protecting my daughter, Blodwen. Thou hath done well, and if thou will cease the battle, all will be fine."

"Well, thanks.." Rocky replied. "CEASE THE BATTLE!" He called to the knights.

"NO! DON'T CEASE!" Boris exclaimed, trying to sway the opinions of the knights.

"Unicorn blood does not actually grant immortality!" Crusader exclaimed.

"Yes eet do—AAAAGH!!" Boris tried to respond, but Ambrosia kicked him…in a certain area.

"Well, brothers, I suppose we should let these creatures go after all." The lead knight spoke. "After all, that unicorn is still a young one."

"AND SO, THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE LET THE BABY UNICORN FREE, AND SHE LEFT WITH HER MOTHER BACK INTO THE UNICORN MEADOW. MEANWHILE, CRUSADER WAS LISTENING TO PEABODY."

"—So you really can travel into the past and future?" Crusader asked.

"Indeed." Peabody replied. "Would you and your tiger friend care to join us?"

"Would I?!" Crusader exclaimed, very excited. "I was thinking of giving up my sword—I've been in the knight business with Rags for many moons, and I've often pondered the state of the future."

"BEFORE PEABODY, SHERMAN, ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, AND CRUSADER AND RAGS (along with a chained-up Boris and Natasha) COULD RETURN TO THE PRESENT DAY, MR. PEABODY STILL HAD TO DELIVER A SIGNATURE PUN."

"Well, Sherman I can tell you one thing." Peabody stated. "One of the knights is eventually going to retire and when he does he'll go into the music business, but keep his name."

"What do you mean by that, Mr. Peabody?" Sherman inquired.

"Why, Sherman, my dear boy…haven't you ever heard of "Sir Mix-A-Lot"?" Peabody chuckled at his absolutely dreadful pun.

"WELL, WITH THIS EPISODE WRAPPED UP, MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"

End.