Chapter 32: Homecoming
Here's a very long chapter for all our readers to make up for the delay. Things are going to get pretty interesting soon so please persevere with our story. Any feedback – even suggestions to improve – would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading xxx
It was the pain throbbing practically from head to toe that woke him up. Especially his pounding head.
His abused ribs were having their say too. Then the events of the day before struck him full-force and he tried to sit up without opening his eyes, reluctant to face the new day. When his ribs screamed at this treatment, he groaned.
He sensed it must be early - with his dad who could be anywhere in the house looking to start Round 2.
He knew that it was a family-trait to be early risers – before he snorted thinking about Merle and how he usually was the exception who slept in as often as he could. A smile tugged at his lips whenhe got to thinking about his brother and it grew even wider with the prospect that Merle would probably be home soon. In any case, there was this feeling in his gut that told him so and it was rarely wrong.
He whispered; 'Merle, you there?'
'Not Merle.' Someone answered in a boyish voice similar to his own from the floor to Daryl's surprise. Duh. Merle was already in his early twenties and sounded gruff like a man. It wasn't his brother and he suddenly recalled escaping out if the window and fleeing to his best friend's last night. He hoped his dad hadn't given him concussion again or worsegiven how out of it he seemed to be at the moment.
Daryl finally ordered his brain to open his eyes in surprise but only one obeyed.
He leaned over the edge of the bed to find his friend sleeping on a mattress beside the bed. 'Eric? That you? What you doin' down there?'
'No worries. You kinda appropriated my bed before you passed out…'
Daryl sat up straight then was about to apologise before Eric interrupted him.
'No, it's OK.I told you to have it but you said you didn't want to 'kick me out of my own bed.' Then I went to the bathroom and you must have fallen asleep while I was gone so I left you to it. Didn't want to disturb you and anyways, you really needed the rest.'
'What's the time?' Daryl was feeling awkward so he changed the subject.
Eric glanced at the green digital readout on his radio alarm, '07:12.'
'Shit. It's so late! He'll be looking for me.' He started gathering his belongings frantically.
,,
'Late? Hey, no rush.'
He touched Daryl's armlightly and the latter had to suppress a wince.
'Sorry.'
Daryl shrugged his shoulders.
'Look, I better go.' He got up to leave, grimacing as he slung on his bag.
Eric badly wanted to grip his wrists and stop him, Daryl could tell, but he only grabbed his sleeve instead and his usually happy-go-lucky expression darkened. 'You can't go back there. You can't take any more beatings from him. Jus' wait until my mom and dad get up and fix us breakfast.'
'Thanks, but don't want to get in their way.'
'You won't be.But you can't go back to him. He has to realise that he's gone too far this time. Let him sweat for a while, promise me?' Eric repeated and eyeballed him with concerned determination. Daryl had never seen him do that. To anybody – ever. 'It's too soon to go back. He'll probably still be mad, and he may wind up killin' you.'
Daryl shivered and didn't bother to explain that staying away was just as likely to make Will mad rather than sorry. Probably sorry less these days, he thought to himself as he answered, 'Just gonna hide out somewhere. Anyway, Merle'll be back soon – maybe even today.' He smiled wanly and managed to slip out of Eric's grip.
'Still, let me come with you.'
Daryl shook his head. 'Your folks will think it's weird if you don't eat with them.' He had almost said 'your normal folks'.
'OK. I won't say nothin' like I promised. But at least take those with you.'
He nodded at the pill packet on his bedside table.
'Thanks.' Daryl smiled at him shyly and took a couple with water from Eric's glass by his bed.
'Maybe go to the movie-theatre later and see what's on?'
'OK.'
'Meet outside about noon?'
Daryl nodded and almost ran out - well he couldn't really run anywhere - when he heard Eric's parents starting to stir in their room.
'Don't worry about me,' were his passing words before he moved down the stairs and out of that house as quickly and quietly as he was able to.
Which wasn't saying much.
Still, Daryl grinned through the pain as he waited for the painkillers to kick in.
I have a friend, he thought happily again to himself as a he felt a warm glow spreading from where his heart was. It still seemed surreal.
Almost as good as having a big brother.
That he had a real friend he could count on and trust lifted his spirits for sure, but what really made him excitedwas that gut feeling that Merle was on his way home.The other feeling in his gut was hunger as he limped down the street, drawing looks from the early-birds already out and about.
Eric was worrying for nothing because despite his stomach growling, he wasn't that hungry to dare to go back home. So he went to the woods nearby to distract himself from everything going round and round his head as well as his belly. It wouldn't be the the first time he ignored hunger pangs after all.
With it being a nice day and the summer vacation on the horizon,it wasn't hard for him to simply enjoy the moment.
The place he'd chosen where he was now lying on his back had often been Merle's and his escape from Dad when he was drunk and in one of his moods, and the forest was deep in this particular area. Even better – it was surrounded by trees in a semi-circle so that you could almost fancy yourself cut off from the world.
Daryl had agreed to meeting later without thinking straight, just so that Eric would let him go. Now he absentmindedly jingled the coins in his pocket, guessing he might be able to scrape enough together to pay for himself but probably not. He would just have to owe Eric.
As usual.
Daryl sighed and stretched out spread eagle on the grass since it was the least painful position and looked up at the sunlight shining greenily through the leaves. He listened to the birdsong and just let his mind wander and tried to erase any negative emotions and memories about Rogers and his Dad etc, and most of allwhat his insane father hadaccused him of being.
Daryl was surprised this worked to some extent and so he lay there a while, happy to just think about nothing in particular.
He glanced at the watch his Grandma had given him, it had a cracked face from one of Dad's rages but it still worked fine. He reckoned he had about 3 hours before meeting up with Eric, giving his friend plenty of time to shower and latershare breakfast with his parents, no doubt.
Now thinking about Eric again made him smile. He had a friend, someone he'd confided to about his father andhe had something to look forward to.
Even though he was dreading walking around town bruised and battered, typically withthe locals always staring at him without shame but with little surprise. The other people who were obviously trying not to stare but did anyway were almost worse. And then there were the idiots who even had the nerve to point at him while nudging and whispering to each other.
It was humiliating and one time he lost it and shouted: 'Lady, just 'cos I got a black eye don't mean I can't still see you. Can hear you just fine too!'.
She had walked along shaking her head in shock, mumbling something under her breath about 'those Dixons' but Daryl couldn't care less. It had felt good to fight back and let them know he was taking no shit.
It proved to be a nice afternoon even though they skipped the movies in the end and went fishing instead. Eric's parents were wealthy as well as generous so the two of them took their nice boat out for a spin and Daryl often wondered why they didn't move to a better area. However, they soon got bored with the lack of fish they caught and satisfied themselves with pushing that poor boat to its limits.
After they finished having their fun, they sat on the jetty and dangled their feet just above the water-surface as they talked about school, their summer vacation plans and the latest video games that had just come out and that they were going to play together. They discussed everything except Daryl's home life and that suited him just fine.
But sometime during their chat, Daryl had this nagging urge to return home, which he did after slapping Eric's back, promising he would call and give him a heads up about how things were at home.
His instincts proved him right after he rounded the corner of their closest neighbour. His stomach danced tango with all the emotions the sight of the familiar red pickup truck aroused in him - Merle was finally home! Daryl quickened his pace, the pain that was slowly coming back be damned. He limped up to thehouse, holdinghis side as fast he could and slammed the door open, dropping his bag to the floor.
'Merle! Where ya at?' He tried to keep his excitement under check and not sound like an overjoyed child, but couldn't quite manage it.
'Kitchen, baby brother.'
Merle was standing a few feet away from him, back slightly turned. He was about to hug Daryl with a happy grin on his face but his expression rapidly soured when he saw the condition of his baby brother. Instead, he came to an abrupt stop in mid-stride with eyes wide open in shock.
'What the holy fuck?...What's he done this time while I was away?' Merle hissed and gently traced the swollen left side of his brother's face with the tips of his fingers.
'Yeah, done what he always does and that's pretty fucking obvious, ain't it?' He answered his own question without waiting for Daryl to answer, his voice starting to rise in pitch in his fury.
'Merle...it ain't so bad…jus' calm down…'
'Why? Look at the state of ya!'
Daryl didn't want to tell him about the reasons Dad had gotten upset with him this time. Noneof it would sit well with Merle - Dad implying his brother was a queer...Rogers….
So he just shrugged. 'Ya know how he gets when he drinks sometimes, ya don't need to do a thing to set him off.'
'Still...I'm gonna have a few words with the asshole when he gets back home. Where is he anyway?'
'Dunno. Bar maybe? He's been drinkin' a helluva lot more these days.'
''Cos I've been gone? Making more money for him to drink and smoke away? Shame it ain't killed him already. Bastard…Can't even keep his fists to himself for a few weeks. That's apparently too fuckin' much to ask.'
'You know how he is. Job went OK?' Daryl did his best to distract him. Last thing he wanted was a fight between them ruining his long-awaitedbrother's homecoming.
Merle grinned then and put his hand in his pocket. Drew out hugewads of cash. 'Lookee, little brother. Bet I know how to make ya all feel better.'
'Merle...Where?…How...?' Daryl goggled at the dollar bills in amazement.
His brotherreplied by tussling his hair – the only part of Daryl that Merle deemed safe to touch just then. 'Don't ya worry about where or how. Jus' worry about how we're gonna spend it and don't tell him. I'll give the bastard his due but there ain't nothing to say we can't have our own fun with it, is there?'
'No.' Daryl looked up at him with gratitude and adoration shining out of his eyes as hecouldn't help but grin despite the pain. Having Merle back and with cash to spend – could things get any better?
But then he was unable to hold back the grimace at the pain in his side and elsewhere which started to make itself known as soon as he shifted his weight to his other foot. He'd have to take something for the pain, the ones Eric gave him had made it bearable during the day but he'd taken them all and now he felt he needed something stronger.
Daryl knew he didn't need to worry, the Dixon house was littered with numerous pills of any kind – no doubt Merle could get him something - if he didn't have it on him already like weed- which would not only kill the pain but make him happy and high as well. However, he was reluctant to ask Merle to share it with him or get him some for some reason.
So he settled on the pills he knew their dad kept around that he knew were really powerful and would work almost instantly. Hereached for the tin in the kitchen cupboard under the sink, hidden behind the cleaning stuff. Not that the asshole ever did much cleaning, that was Daryl's job mostly.
Merle frowned as he watched him down two pills with some water only to carefully put the tin back exactly where it was.
'He really did a number on ya, didn't he, baby brother? Ya in a lot of pain still?'
He shrugged it off. 'Not much,' he lied just as a stabbing pain in his side which couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time, made him clasp himself.
Merle smirked at that. 'Liar. So when exactly did he beat the crap out of ya? Bruises sure look fresh.'
'Yesterday.'
'Ya managed to fix yaself up good?'
'Yeah, after I got the hell away first. Didn't want to be nowhere near him. Split to a friend's.'
'Let me guess. Eric's?'
Something in the tone of Merle's voice made him look up at him in surprise because he sounded eerily like dad just then. His older brother had practically snarled his friend's name!
'Yeah ...AND?' He snapped back defensively.
'Nothin'. He did a good job on ya, that's all. Let me have a look.'
'What the hell for? I'm fine, Merle!' He pushed away his hands that were already starting to carefully explore his injuries while trying not to cause additional pain.
'Come on, jus' wanna see the damage to know how much shit I should be givin' that bastard when he gets home.'
Daryl knew that wasn't entirely true, Merle was worried and wanted to check him over like he usually did after one of dad's beatings.
'Seriously man, just drop it. You'll only make things worse. Told ya, I'm OK and it's done and over with. Just leave it, Merle.'
'I know it's done already, little brother. Fact is that I wasn't here to stop it. Kind of pissed at myself for that, ya know.'
'Someone's gotta bring in the money.'
'Don't try to make it into somethin' less than it was. 'Cos by the looks of ya now, you ain't far off a hospital visit.'
'Would it make ya feel any better if I told ya that ya were right? That he really beat the shit out of me this time?'
'Why couldn't you just stay at that new best buddy of yours, huh?'
'He would drag me home by my hair if I did that, and ya know it.'
'Come on, just worried 'bout ya. Let me see. Lift up ya shirt.'
'Fine!' Daryl gave up, he knew his brother was as stubborn as they came and that he wouldn't back down anytime soon. Now, however, he kind of understood Merle's unwillingness to drop it.
There was genuine concern and guilt in his eyes and Daryl recalled his friend's chilling warning: 'He'll kill you one day.'
He realised that he couldn't keep lying to himself that the abuse wasn't really that bad. He had to face the fact that Dad was escalating. Daryl knew that Merle sensed this too and that was the reason why he needed to know the full scale of the latestassault for his own peace of mind.
Just as he'd predicted, all hell broke loose as soon as Merle finished checking him over with a lot of snarling and hissing and shaking his head in disgust. He started by cursing their father worse than Daryl ever heard him curse himbefore and that was saying something. He followed that up by punching the wall, when that didn't quite do it for him, he started throwing things around while Daryl did his best to duck the flying objects. Even though he was beyond angry at this point, Daryl knew that Merle wouldn't deliberately hurt him, but accidents could happen. And Merle had one mean fist.
'Merle, calm down. Nothin' good'll come out of this. Don't break Mama's family's china. Come on.'
'Best of all would be breakingitagainst that bastard's skull! 'Sides, it makes me feel good!'
'Yeah, tell that to your bleeding knuckles. You tryin' to break ya hand?'
Merle answered him by punching what was closest, in this case it was the kitchen-bench.
Daryl rolled his eyes – sometimes his brother just acted like an unstoppable brute – testosterone shooting out of his ears.
Merle calmed down somewhat after but Daryl had to throw himself at his brother first, and cling onto him with his arms around his neck as he held on for dear life. He couldn't help but compare it to riding that mechanical bull at the market when he was a little kid. Merle was something else entirely though. Had it been for different reasons, even Daryl would've laughed at his brother's behaviour. Even though it hurt everywhere more than he could put into words at that moment, doing this seemed to make Merle forget the worst of his anger which was suddenly replacedwith surprise instead.
'That's new. Where'd ya learn to do that?'
'Do what? Done it to ya loads of times.'
'I remember ya being hell of a lot smaller, ya crazy little shit. Nice move though.'
'Thanks.' He got down then, feeling it was safe to do so.
Merle turned around, looking pretty sheepish. 'Sorry 'bout that. Just pisses me off what he does to ya. Not fair is what it is. Fuckin' coward.'
'Did the same to you.'
Merle shook his head: 'Sure he's been quite artistic with his belt and knife but I never took a beating like that, no matter what I done. Speaking of that, now would ya mind telling me what the hell ya did to make him beat ya up that bad, huh?'
'I told ya, nothin'.' But Daryl was avoiding his gaze.
Merle narrowed his eyes, probably felt Daryl was holding back on him. 'Had to start somewhere. No matter how stupid an excuse, dad usually needs somethin' to get him goin'.'
'Just got somethin' in his head that's a load of horse-shit, that's all.'
Daryl resorted to glaring at his big brother, letting him know he didn't want to talk about it by stubbornly keeping his mouth shut. Merle got the message and sighed.
'I'll leave it for now, but ya never been able to lie to me, little brother. Something's botherin' ya, and I can tell it's not the thrashing ya got neither.'
Dangerous territory. He had to make Merle focus on something else, and you could always trust Merle to be greedy with money. This time he had the right to be, as he'd earned every cent. Didn't matter how he'd done it, what was most important was that he was home, safe and sound, they had money and he would heal eventually if allowed time. 'Hey, let's spend some money already, huh? Gotta watch out for dad though.' Daryl suggested.
'Yeah, first I'm gonna feed ya. Bastard can't even do that right. Get ya some new clothestomorrowtoo.'
Later, they polished off the delivered pizza and some beers to help them relax, thankfully with no sign of their Dad. Both of them were secretly hoping that he'd drunk too much and passed out in a ditch somewhere on his way back from Marty's. They were in the middle of watching some dumb movie when there was another knock at their door and Daryl raised his eyebrows. He knew what kind of 'special' delivery it was bound to be knowing his brother and smirked when Merle got up to answer it.
Daryl rolled his eyes but was secretly looking forward to the weed or whatever drugs that his brother had procured from the dealer at the door.
He was no longer in any real pain – thanks to his father's stash but he also needed something to help him forget his troubles. Not only his father's growing violence towards him but the creepy things he'd said and done recently which were even more worrying.
But Daryl wasn't consciously thinking about that – he forced all of that to the back of his mind.
He heard Merle say, 'Thanks' and the dealer say, 'Bye' before his brother skipped back in again, parading the little bag of weed proudly in front of him. And it looked like better stuff than Merle usually got and why not? They were loaded now.
'Lookee here, little bro. Got some serious weed. Let's go to my room and smoke it.'
'Sure.' Daryl smiled lazily up at him.
….
Merle often got more affectionate with him after he did drugs - cannabis in particular - and Daryl thought him pulling his head to his chest and telling him to 'Go to sleep' was the best part of him coming home.
Daryl knew that Merle wouldn't have done it normally unless someone really, really hurthim badlyor something terrible had happened. The beating seemed to count as such in his mind. Or maybe Merle simply missed him. He'd done the same after what had happened with Mike too but even then, Daryl still had to beg him first.
Dixons don't do affection – hugging was for chicks and fags.
He sighed with relief knowing that he was safe and that even if dad came in and saw them, he wouldn't dare touch him if he saw Merle had him. Will was a coward that way now that Merle was all big and grown-up and could fight back.
Daryl smiled as he drifted off, listening to the soothing sound of his brother's heartbeat and to the comfort of Merle's arms around him. Even better, his pain had receded until it was barely noticeable. He thought thenthat Dad's latest 'punishment' had almost been worth it.
To have Merle hold him like this.
