Chapter 42 Barfights and Baths
It's Friday night and the Dixons are no doubt going to get into trouble. Ha ha
Please leave a review if you can. The author would really appreciate it, thanks.
Daryl
When I came back home reluctantly after school that Friday, I tried to sneak in and out as quietly as a mouse. Something told me that Merle wasn't home but I doubted that he would have left for another job – he didn't need to for a long time or so he said.
Of course, Dad caught me – probably couldn't wait for me to arrive home from school with all sorts of nasty plans going round his sick head. I wouldn't have put it past him to be looking out for me from the living room window.
Anyway, now he had me pinned up against the fridge, looking far too pleased with himself. I'd got so good at reading him that I ducked in time to avoid his flying fist which went crashing mere centimeters from my head. Leaving a dent in the front as a reminder of what he wanted to do to me. He swore at me worse than I had ever heard him before – calling me all sorts of filthy names under the sun – curses I hadn't even heard Merle say and that was saying a lot. Right now, I cowered as far back as I could get away from him. I didn't even know what I'd done to anger him this time – bastard didn't usually need a reason.
The blood was gushing down my face from my split eyebrow and my breathing was labored after one hard blow that had knocked the air out of me. That's when I took my chance as I deliberately spat blood towards him in my rage – luckily some of it got in his eyes and mouth, momentarily blinding him. I didn't think twice because my rebellious outburst gave me an opening to dodge around him while he was furiously wiping away my blood.
There was murder in his voice when he bellowed after me, 'Yeah, ya better run, ya little shit! 'Cos I swear when I get my hands on ya you'll regret spittin' at me and runnin' outta this house, ya hear?'.
I could feel other eyes besides my father's on me when I got out onto our street. As I expected, half the neighbours were either peeking out from their open windows or shamelessly gawping at the latest installment of the Dixon family drama when I looked around me. Mr Walters just glanced at me indifferently, pulled his head in and shut his window while the Carltons looked sympathetic but unwilling to interfere. Most people were afraid of our father – he had a fierce local reputation and I, who was terrified of him on almost a daily basis, couldn't blame them. The elderly couple further down the street stood on the porch and tried to wave me in, but I only had time to spare them a quick glance as I hurried past.
I was desperate to get away from Dad.
'Yeah, run away boy, and ya brother will pay for it when he comes home. Don't ya remember what I said I would do to him if….!' He bellowed after me, his voice fading. I stopped dead in my tracks when he threatened my brother, all thoughts of escape forgotten because of what he'd said he'd do to Merle if I didn't submit.
I fully believed at the time that he was capable of murdering my brother and I was even more convinced now. So, I turned back to the sound of his voice and saw him standing and smirking at me from the doorway but still making no move to run after me.
He knew he didn't have to.
I could see him dangling his belt behind his back as I got nearer, his threat clear with that hateful smile on his face.
'Get back inside now and I'll go easy on you and him. Think about it.'
My feet moved backwards as if by themselves and I reluctantly, very slowly made my way back to my father who only gripped his belt harder. Waggling it mockingly at me while I cursed loudly. I had been on a mission because God knows that I needed the time alone – was going to make it to the woods where I could let nature calm me down. No chance of that now and I couldn't give a shit about how I must look in front of the neighbors – they'd seen it all a million times before anyway. Anyway, the amount of blood on my face and seeping through the front of my shirt probably made the latest beating I'd received look a lot worse than it actually was.
But suddenly the anger I felt (surely some of it was for Merle who refused to see?) took me over completely and just as I was in grabbing range of my smugly smiling Dad, I turned and fled! I no longer believed that he would uphold his threat – after all, Merle had beaten Dad in their numerous showdowns over me. Lately, however, I had to admit he been relatively cold and distant so I couldn't count on him anymore.
But it was so satisfying, leaving him tottering drunkenly in vain after me and I was almost tempted to stick my finger up at him but that would have been suicide. He cursed me in rage and frustration as I ran further and further away from him, back the way I came as fast as I could, like my life depended on it.
Which it did in more ways than one.
After a few minutes when I got to the edge of the woods, I slowed down once I was really sure that he really wasn't coming after me. I'd been looking over my shoulder as I ran out of fear, long after I'd seen him shake the belt at me in silent promise and go back inside. I breathed in relief, listening to my heart slowing down in my chest, as I walked deeper into the woods and without being aware that I was doing it, I absently picked up a couple of empty drink cans along the path. Merle and I had our own special place where we went to just be alone for a while around here. Would he be there? We'd been hunting here, even with Dad since I could remember. Though the undergrowth was thick in the surrounding area, our spot was always empty and we liked to think that the forest had saved that it just for us and the animals.
When I got there, I put the empty cans down on the usual tree stumps and took a few rocks in my hands and threw them as hard as I could at them. I'd done it so many times that I didn't even really need to aim at all because I always knocked them down with ease. Feeling bored, I pushed myself by stepping backwards further away each time a can without fail, toppled over.
Congratulating myself on not missing once before I knew it, I felt the rather heavy additional weight of metal in my hands. I looked down in surprise at a gun.
Where had that come from? Before I could turn around to defend myself, I heard a familiar voice behind me that immediately put my mind at rest.
'Here, use this. More fun that way. Look – it's even got a silencer.' My older brother reached round me with hand to show me how to turn it on and off.
'Merle…' I breathed, thinking how nice it was that he was acting normal with me again. Maybe because Dad wasn't there?
'Figured you'd be here.' He backed off and sat down on an overturned tree trunk.
'Who told ya?'
'The good old neighbors told me you and Dad had a fight and that they saw ya run off for the woods. They weren't exaggeratin' neither, 'cos ya really do look like shit, little brother. What he do to ya, huh?"
'Looks worse than it is. Besides, that ain't the half of it.' I muttered the second sentence under my breath.
'What ya mean?' Merle was on high alert now and it did seem that he cared about me again. 'Did he do somethin' else?' His voice rose in concern.
Yeah – he does a lot worse than just beat the crap out of me, Ireplied sarcastically but only in my head. I wanted to scream at Merle for being so dense because despite all my hints and clue-dropping – he still didn't get it!
'He's fuckin'….' I trailed off as I felt the color leave my face suddenly because I'd nearly said it! Had been dangerously close to saying 'me'. Merle was looking at me so expectantly that I finished with; '…fuckin' with my head a lot lately.'
'Don't have to tell me twice. Each time I come back home I see him all over ya. I'll try to be around more in future – I'll speak to him, make him leave ya alone.'
I thought Merle, if you only knew but aloud, I only replied sullenly, 'I ain't no baby, can handle mysel'. Don't need no babysitter neither.'
He frowned at me like he didn't believe that. 'Look at the state of ya. Sure ya do.' He even smiled at me as I rounded on him, shoving him away irritably.
He burst out laughing as he continued: 'And if I'm not there, ya got somethin' in ya hand now to threaten him with.' He looked pointedly down at the weapon in my hand.
'Yeah, fuckin' A. What the fuck ya doin' with a gun anyways?'
'I already got one at home, little brother, but this one's new. Figured I'd give it to you. Now shoot them bitches down. You'll feel better, promise.'
I decided to do what he said because if anyone knew how to vent their anger, it was Merle. I got into position and aimed. This time however, I pictured my father as the target, the face I hated more than any in the world with that sleazy leer of his, drove me on to pull the trigger. However, I narrowed my eyes and didn't shoot straight away because I wanted his image clear in my mind before I shot. But Merle interpreted this hesitation as lack of confidence as he positioned himself behind me. Then, he gripped my arms with his, lining them up as if to teach me but I shook him off annoyed. 'Stupid, I know how to shoot, and ya know I do.'
He laughed and rested his chin on my right shoulder. 'Well, then, go on. Prove it. Shoot.'
I could tell that despite his teasing, Merle knew damn well that I could handle a gun and he was proud of me as he encouraged me. I felt the smile widen slowly on my face because I was glad to have my brother there. To show off in front of him, I challenged myself again by increasing the distance by stepping further back each time.
My cheery mood changed instantly though when I felt my brother's hands on my hips. I couldn't help my body tensing up in alarm, especially when I heard him snigger behind me, sounding remarkably like Dad. 'You're usually quick on ya feet and know where to step.' He released me then with the trademark Dixon smirk on his face, making me shudder involuntarily because now he looked just like Dad although of course the glint in his eyes as he looked at me was different to that bastard's. Something close to concern made him grab me again without warning to steady me and I couldn't help crying out. He gave me a curious glance as he let me go and I swayed slightly.
'Look behind ya. If I hadn't grabbed you, you'd have fallen flat on ya ass.' He lectured me as I did like he said and noticed that I'd indeed, been very close to stumbling on a tree root coming out of nowhere. I hadn't noticed it and I sighed in relief.
'Not like ya to be caught unawares, baby brother.'
'Sorry, not used to bein' grabbed like that, is all.'
No way could I tell him the truth that for a split-second there, I believed that our father had found our hideout in the woods (after all, he used to take us there to hunt) and had silently crept up on us to ambush me. Or that Merle saw what dad saw in me. I shook my head, to get my thoughts straight. That was just crazy thinking. My big brother had unknowingly brought back those feelings of terror and panic in one innocent touch, that was all. Still, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty because Merle would never, ever hurt me because I knew that underneath all the teasing and sarcasm, he loved me. That he would probably go to any lengths to protect me, and here I was not trusting him.
And here I was being all suspicious, treating him like he was Dad in fact.
Great little brother I was.
I guess he could tell I was kicking myself somehow because he nudged me with his elbow. 'What'd I do?'
'Nothing. Sorry, I just…'
'I know you, little brother, you can't fool me. This shit between you and Dad has been goin' on for a while now. Spit it out already!'
'Look, just forget it for now, will ya? It don't matter.'
'Alright – only for now, then. But ya got to promise me something though.'
I sighed, favors for Merle usually didn't end well. 'Depends what it is, I've learned that the hard way, asshole.' I was referring to the one time where he made me promise him to tell him if Dad 'goes to far' with me. I nodded my head listlessly, knowing that he 'went too far' practically every time he saw me but I would never tell my brother that. I couldn't even say it out loud let alone tell anybody – the most recent incident with Rogers proved that. I sighed, knowing that Merle would just have to find out by himself.
He shook my shoulder then, no doubt because his attempt to cheer me up hadn't worked. I saw the cogs turning in his head like some goddamn clockwork machine.
'No biggie, you're comin' with me tonight.'
'What, where?' I breathed in excitement. This proved that my brother wanted to spend time with me and wasn't being 'off'. Maybe it had all been the drugs yesterday.
'You'll see. Jus' to get ya away from dad and have some fun. Ya can do that for your big brother, since you won't tell him what's wrong, can't ya?'
His expression didn't let me dwell on it too long, I could tell he was serious even though he was smiling. Meanwhile, a glowing warmth started to spread in my chest.
'Yeah, sure.'
For once that was enough for him to stop asking me what was wrong and I was amazed that he gave up so easily as we walked back.
When we got home, dad was thankfully already passed out on the living room couch. Judging by how angry he'd been last time he saw me, and how pissed off Merle had been at seeing the newest additional bruise to my face, I was happy about that particular change of events.
'It's about damn time I showed ya how to drink now, don't ya agree, little brother?'
I just nodded, unable to even reply through my excited laughter. It felt good, not thinking about that bastard for once.
'Heads up, baby brother.' Before I knew it, he had tossed two of the four beer bottles towards me and popped open his first one.
'Got to have somethin' to get us in the mood!'
My brother looked almost a bit disappointed at the lack of effect the alcohol was having on me as we approached the bar. Did he just expect me to pass out on a couple of beers?
'Gonna have to step up my game to get you drunk, huh?'
'Yeah, ya gonna have to do better than that.' I laughed back.
He chuckled and winked at me, before hurriedly hugging me to him. 'Now, we're gonna hit the hard stuff, ya ready for that?' He chuckled as he pushed me inside. 'You're all of sweet sixteen now, a big boy, so it's time ya tried big boy shit.'
I felt like a deer caught in the headlights just then, in a few seconds I'd become the center of attention – all the customers probably thought I had walked in there alone since Merle was talking to one of the bouncers at the door. But once they saw that he was with me, they turned away in apparent disinterest.
Merle took me completely by surprise as we passed the tables by giving me a light shove forwards. But it was enough to make me lose balance because I hadn't been ready for it and I landed in one of the sofas in the far end corner of the room. He smiled at me as he sank down on the other side. All he had to do was snap his fingers, and one of the waitresses appeared at our table, ready to take our order. She was probably in her early thirties by the looks of it and nervous too. Her legs caught my attention as she bounced on her feet, up and down.
For once Merle didn't act like a complete jackass and was actually nice to her and if my eyes didn't deceive me, it even looked like he winked at her. This proved to be the case as she was clearly in a hurry to get back to us to take away our empties and give us refills. Merle's latest was a monster order containing a huge pitcher of beer, two glasses so cold that they looked like they were letting off smoke. Along with 6 shots, lemon slices and salt.
'Cheers boys, ya just take it easy now. Let me know if you want anything else. Just holler for me. Name's Sandra.'
Merle gave her a toothy smile and turned his attention back to me. 'I've seen ya eyein' up those shots. Go ahead, drink 'em up.' I grinned at his typical Merle behavior.
I started on the beer though. I was thirsty and something told me that a shot wouldn't take care of that problem. As I looked around, my eyes landed on two guys at the bar that were no doubt giving my brother death glares. 'What's their fuckin' problem?' I asked.
Merle followed my eyes. For a split second, I saw something flicker across his features that looked close to alarm. He hid it well once he looked back at me, but it was too late. I'd already seen it. 'Never mind them. Jus' owe them some money, s'all.'
'Dealers?' I guessed, speaking in a low tone.
He nodded. 'Fuck them, they won't do nothin' in here.'
I wasn't convinced, but I knew if I kept on talking about it, Merle would probably lose patience, and I was in no hurry to walk back home without him.
So instead of bitching at him and sounding like an annoying kid brother, I imitated the way he poured some salt on the side of his hand and at the same time I could clearly smell the weird scent of the liquid. 'Smells like something ya would hawk up, bro.'
Merle smiled and grabbed a slice of lemon, shoving it into my hand as he took his share. He inclined his head to the bar: 'See, they're already gone. And don't worry, tequila's badass. Promise. Just lick the salt off your hand, drink that baby right up, and bite down on that sorry piece of lemon. On three, then.'
I nodded, eager to get it over with. I wrinkled my nose, as I held the shot closer to my mouth. 'One…two…three!'
It wasn't that bad. But I was unable to mask the surprise that hit me at first, and the sourness of that lemon, but it sure got my brother laughing out loud at me. 'That's it! Ya did good, want another one?'
Soon we downed one after the other, lemon slices flying all over the place. The beer had long gone, and Merle was cheering me on at the same time he was waving Sandra over to place another order.
I kicked at him under the table and hissed at him: 'Merle, for fuck's sake, no more. I ain't tried to get up on my fuckin' feet yet!'
He just grinned at me, 'Ya sure can hold your stuff, little brother, gotta give ya that! When did you have time to practise, huh?'
I just smiled at him, and stood up. Then it hit me like a tow truck. Merle was certainly moving around a lot, well that was what I first thought before I realized everything was spinning.
'Go on, get some air. Can handle yourself, can't ya?'
'Don't start.' He held up both his hands and winked at me as I staggered off.
'Can't help it. Old habit of mine. Stay outside until you're feeling better. Don't want ya pukin' all over the place, embarrassing us Dixons, ya hear me?'
He said the last part with laughter close to bubbling to the surface but it had a sharp edge to it. Anyway, I didn't need to be told twice because cool, fresh air sounded pretty damn good at that moment what with my head spinning.
I walked out of the bar, lighting my cigarette as I went and keeping my head down. Blissfully unaware of my surroundings. When I looked up, alarm grabbed at my chest suddenly, but I stubbornly kept on smoking and not acting like my heart wasn't thundering in my chest. Merle's dealer-buddies were out there, along with six other big guys also smoking and drinking. Looked like Hell's Angels – all black leather jackets with silver chains swinging – not dudes you should mess with. Something told me they weren't just hanging around either, they were waiting for Merle.
Merle – what the fuck ya got yaself into now? Knew that much money doesn't come without a price tag. Did you steal it from them? Fuck!
The tension in the air did nothing to make me feel better but at least the adrenalin coursing through my veins sobered me up quickly.
'Hey, kid.' One of them in his fifties but still well-muscled and menacing, addressed me. I looked up at him then, trying to focus on keeping myself as calm as possible. Showing an ounce of fear could easily trigger some kind of pack-mentality with the assholes, which would be very bad, so I settled on taking a few deep breaths and leant nonchantly against the wall.
'Ya sure seemed chummy with Merle in there. Ya his new playthin' or what?'
I refused to answer and stared him down. An even bigger dude gave his friend a shove in the side. 'Idiot, that's his brother.'
'Oh. How the hell was I 'sposed to know that?'
'Everyone around here does.' It didn't take a genius to realise that the one who was talking was the leader of their little group.
The alpha looked at me then, and took a few steps closer. 'Can ya give your brother a message from us?'
'Depends.' I smirked, deliberately keeping my voice and body language as casual as possible.
'Ya got balls, boy. I'll give ya that.' He was now standing right in front of me but I refused to back away. 'Ya Merle's little brother, all right. Jus' ell him Axe wants his money.'
'Why don't ya tell him yaself? Who are ya, anyway?' I squashed the cigarette butt out with my shoe dismissively as I maintained the increasingly tense eye-contact we had going on with each other.
'Come on, kid. Don't gotta be like that. Ain't got no beef with ya. It's gonna turn ugly out here if he don't show himself in the next ten minutes. Ya jus' go and tell 'im."
'Sure. You're real brave with eight against two.'
'Two?' He raised his eyebrows in surprise. 'Don't be stupid, we outweigh ya little, skinny ass easily by 80 pounds each.'
I shrugged my shoulders. 'I'll go tell him.' With that, the dizziness I felt earlier was completely gone as fear for my brother took over instead. I knew that this wasn't going to end well for either of us. But before we gave in to these upstart meaty dickheads, I had to try to balance out the numbers somewhat. Make it a fair fight at least.
I went in and explained the situation to the local guys me and Merle knew who had the reputation of being hotheads who loved a tussle. To others I didn't recognise, I simply said 'Bar-fight outside'. By the time I'd got around to everyone, I'd managed to round up six. When I spotted Merle at the bar, I grabbed him, hissing at him urgently, 'They're waitin' for ya outside. Eight of them. The big fuck leader who says his name is Axe said that ya better be outside within 10 minutes or it's going to turn ugly.'
'Axe's here? Shit!' Merle sighed and downed what was left of his beer, and started to stalk towards the door, followed by others. 'Well, I ain't no fuckin' pussy.' He growled.
Annoyed, I grabbed his shoulder, 'Ya crazy? You goin' outside when there's eight of them? Look around, dumbass, those guys standing at the door'll said they'll help us.'
Although as the bar emptied, I knew that most of them were coming along just to watch.
'You got them on our side? 'Sides, there ain't nowhere else to go.' I nodded. Then his proud and surprised expression turned into a frown as it dawned on him what I just said: 'Wait a minute. Us?'
He stopped me then to lay a hand against my chest and refused to budge out of my way, 'No way. I ain' lettin' ya.'
I slapped his hand away, as I muttered, 'Ain't no baby!' as I overtook him walking quickly towards that door.
'Daryl!' But by then, he was too late, I was already outside.
The men I'd managed to round up who were on Merle's side were young, only a few years older than me or really old, like Dad's age. Unfortunately, they were apparently cowards after all, I realised as I watched them with disgust as they slipped quietly back into the bar as soon as they saw who we were up against. They turned tail shamefacedly one after the other, leaving only a few drinkers who I sensed were just for the show only.
In the end there was only me and Merle left.
My brother looked at me with an unreadable expression like he was sizing me up. Finally, he whispered, 'Get the fuck back inside.'
'Think I'm gonna leave ya alone, idiot? They'll kill ya!'
I could tell he was really angry with me now as well as frightened for me too. I knew it had to do with the odds against us more than me not listening to him.
I had to stifle a laugh as my brother put on his usual sardonic mask and clenched his fists, preparing to fight.
The chatter from the other guys died when we stepped closer.
'Ya bring ya little brother to protect ya sorry ass, Merle? That ain't really fair.' The leader peered at me with curiosity and what looked like…grudging respect?
'Fuck off! I'm here 'cos I wanna be.' I snapped back fiercely before Merle could deny it and order me back in the bar.
My brother and I gave each other one last glance before we went in there to deal out our first punches of the evening.
It wouldn't be the last.
Will's knees creaked in protest as he woke up from his drunken stupor and stumped his way irritably to answer the door. He was going to beat the living shit out whoever had the gall to disturb him at – he glanced balefully at the clock in the hall as he passed it - 4am in the morning.
He was met by the sight of both his sons standing out there. Still a little hazy from sleep and the rum with coke and neat whiskey he'd consumed, he didn't register how strange it was that Daryl was with Merle and not in bed.
'What the fuck...!' He greeted them in a raised voice, about to chew them out for not having their key but then he took a step back in surprise. Immediately forgetting his initial irritation at being disturbed when he saw his oldest son propping up his battered youngest.
'Hey dad, would ya give me a hand here? Been carrying him half the way from Marty's.'
'What?' He looked from one to the other in confusion. Merle had taken Daryl to the bar with him?
And brought him back in this state? Merle looked a little bit bruised and battered, not that unusual for him. While Daryl, on the other hand, looked like he'd had 6 bells knocked out of him with his clothes torn and bloody. The boy could barely stand and was leaning on his brother for support and was swaying with exhaustion. Looking on the verge of passing out, in fact.
'What happened to him?' Will asked in concern, motioning them in. He was shocked at Dayl's condition, he'd only touched his face lately but Will could tell that his whole body was black and blue under the rags that now served as his clothes. Even this roused him and Will realised that he needed to tread very carefully not to give too much away because his firstborn son was starting to notice something going on. Still, nearly always high or stone-drunk, for Merle it was a slow process. Nevertheless, Will enjoyed hinting or being ambiguous and doing things right under his big brother's nose to scare Daryl. Sometimes he did stuff like let his fingertips brush up against Daryl's ass when he passed by or said things that could be misunderstood just for the hell of it. Just to step up the game a little and see what he could get away with.
He'd also observed his sons' affection and protectiveness for one another with interest and filed it away along with ideas of how he could use it against them.
But that was for later – if it ever came to that.
Even so, Will didn't like the fact that they had sneaked off together. Beyond his control, because what if booze loosened Daryl's tongue? What if he decided that he couldn't hold back the pain any longer and he told his big brother what was going on? Despite Will's threats?
No, he soothed away his own fears. The little pussy wouldn't dare tell his beloved brother anything – Daryl was too afraid that he would lose his respect. And if he lost his beloved big brother, who else would Daryl have?
Will smiled a small, cruel and proprietary smile to himself at that thought. Daryl would have no-one because Daryl would be his and his alone. To do with whatever he pleased. Whenever.
Forever.
He shivered and fought down the growing excitement that even that thought produced in him. It wouldn't do any good to let Merle see.
Besides, the boy was too full of shame and self-loathing, Will had seen to that. There were no signs on Merle's face that Daryl had spilled his guts, Will knew on some level he wouldn't be still standing upright if Merle knew the special father-son games they were playing.
No, he thought smugly to himself. Little Daryl will never tell.
Still, he didn't like that someone else had put their hands all over his boy. No one else had the right. He drew himself upright as he promised to make the cowards who'd hurt Daryl pay ten times over after his brother told him who they were.
Otherwise, Merle was a convenient target for his rage – standing there – right in front of him. Would have been, he reminded himself as he deliberately unclenched his fists at his sides and drew them in closer to his body. Because his eldest had long grown up into a big-built, strong man like Will, capable of defending himself. Not like small, skinny Daryl who lagged far behind them at their age and at 16, had still failed to fill out yet. An unexpected pang of guilt struck him then because he suspected that it was because of their 'little game' that his son failed to thrive. Because of the things Will was doing to him when they played together that prevented him from growing. He soon rejected that theory as ridiculous. He hadn't been at it that long after all. His thoughts went back to Mike then, but every time that piece of shit crossed his mind he felt the need to vent his anger. This was clearly not the right time or place for that.
Will knew how things would turn out if he didn't control himself. He would have taken his rage out on Merle for firstly, taking the underage boy out drinking in bars and secondly, probably most importantly, for failing to protect Daryl. He would have thrashed the older boy and punished the younger for tagging along, by making Daryl watch his brother being punished. He knew that would hurt Daryl more than anything. Being forced to watch his brother suffering on his account.
But he couldn't hit Merle now, not when he could hit him back just as hard and he couldn't touch Daryl either. Couldn't hurt him any more than he'd already been hurt – it might lead to a hospital visit with awkward questions to follow.
Will was hoping that the injuries he'd already sustained wouldn't require medical attention and with it, no doubt, the long, nosy snout of the authorities sniffing around the Dixons' family's homelife. He feared that they would find out his dark, little secret.
All these thoughts flashed rapidly through his mind while he decided which course of action to take.
'Get him in there.' He ordered Merle harshly as they half-dragged and half-carried the now fully unconscious youngest Dixon into the living room and laid him out gently onto the sofa.
Afterwards, having rapidly sobered up in his concern for his youngest, Will turned off the TV and concentrated on the unconscious boy.
'What the hell were ya thinkin', Merle? Ya brother's underage and ya took him out drinkin'? We can't afford more trouble with the cops!' Will hissed furiously at his eldest son, keeping his voice low to not disturb Daryl as he anxiously checked him over for broken bones and other injuries.
'What kind of cowards did this to a boy?'
Merle's face flushed red with guilt as he looked down in concern at Daryl without answering his father's questions at first. In his head, Will knew that he was praying for his brother to be all right.
'Is he gonna be OK, Dad?' Will noted that of course his first concern was for his baby brother.
Will finished gently patting Daryl down and checking his pulse, listening to his chest and opening his eye-lids to check the size of his pupils. Merle watched all this in amazement, wondering where the hell his father had learnt that doctor stuff.
'I think he's a little concussed is all, no broken bones or fractures. Cuts and bruises mainly – looks far worse than they are. Our boy got lucky. Jus' needs to rest up awhile and heal.'
He knew that him reassuring Merle was the only way for him to be able to get some answers. Merle audibly sighed in relief and his features visibly relaxed from the tense frown that had been there before.
'It's OK, Dad. Don't worry. I only took him out 'cos he seemed down, was all. Thought it was 'bout time he got a little girlfriend, ya know?' He smirked at this, unaware of the heavy weight of jealous rage that seemed to grow bigger and bigger in Will's chest at the thought of Daryl being with someone else -especially a girl. Doing those dirty things with her. But he was smart enough to say nothing and carry on pretending because these were the rules in his little game with Merle.
Merle continued. 'We went to Marty's bar, ya know Marty? He's cool. And the only other people there were people who knew us. Ain't no-one gonna snitch on us. They wouldn't dare.' He sniggered at that.
'What happened?' The father demanded impatiently, still not fully convinced by Merle's reassurances.
'Baby brother fought like a fuckin' champion, that's what happened. Outnumbered too, he tried to protect me against those dealers. Big as hell compared to him. I've never seen him like that. I was so fuckin' proud of him, dad.'
Will took in a deep breath, imaging the scene. His small, fine-boned son against all those fully-grown men? He felt pride swelling in his own chest because he knew those guys weren't to be messed with, and here was his youngest, beaten within an inch of his life because he wouldn't back off and leave his brother alone to his fate. Daryl had just wanted to protect his big brother.
'I left three of those guys laid out helpless on the ground before I helped him deal with the rest. He'd managed to knock out two of them out cold, damn it. Really was a sight.'
'I bet it was. But I'll kill ya next time ya pull this shit and put him in harm's way again.'
'I didn't mean to. Ya think I wanted this to happen? It all got out of hand. They were waitin' on me outside, 8 of them – fuckin' pussies. Daryl saw it and got back inside, warned me and told other people to get ready to help us even out the numbers. He managed to round some up, but they split when they saw who they were dealing with outside. Cowards. Daryl stood his ground though. Fuck, he was badass…Ya should'ave seen him, Dad, he would've made ya proud.'
'I'm sure he would've. Good thing you took care of those idiots before they killed him.'
'I wouldn't let anything happen to him. Ever! And ya know it.'
Will just sighed then, feeling anxious as he looked down at his youngest. It had been too close for comfort, and it had shaken him to the core to see Daryl like this.
Daryl
My eyes felt gritty as I tried to open them. Felt myself being carried and heard voices talking over me. And everywhere there was pain in my body. In my throbbing skull, my eyes, my sides and my chest but I held back the tears that immediately sprung to my eyes and swallowed it all like a Dixon.
Still groggy, I felt myself being lifted and managed to see through the one eye that wasn't swollen shut that I was being carried upstairs. My brother had me under my arms and I didn't feel panic until I realised someone else was carrying me by the legs and it was Dad! Dad had me – he was touching me! I started to struggle like a banshee. I realised that it was them talking about me but I couldn't understand the words at first – they were muffled like I was under water.
I kicked my feet enough to startle Dad so that he dropped me and Merle stumbled. I heard them swear as I fell onto the stairs. Finding my strength suddenly, I ran up them as far as I could away from Dad and almost made it to the top too. But my feet were unsteady and I was still dazed, unable to remember the details of the bar fight exactly but I knew there had been a lot of them.
I didn't make it because my brother being nearest to me, was the first to grab me and pin me to the floor at the top of the stairs while I fought to get free. Not even feeling the pain in my desperation to get away from them because in my mind, I'd confused Merle with Dad. Not to mention in my vulnerable state, I couldn't help but believe that they were both out to hurt me.
'No! No...Get the fuck off me, Dad!' I snarled but Merle only pinned me down by my wrists more firmly.
'It's OK, it's OK. It's me, Merle. Ya big brother.' He whispered to me but not before looking back questioningly at our father.
Way to go, Merle, I thought up at him. Don't ya see?
Of course he didn't.
'Let him go, son. Ya scarin' him.' I almost spluttered into laughter. Since when did he care about me being scared? No – Dad was just scared for himself.
That his sick little secret would be out.
Merle released me, allowing me to sit up. I heard Dad's heavy footsteps coming up the stairs slowly behind him and I cringed back behind my brother.
'Let's get him into the bath.' Our father said. 'Clean 'im up.'
Then I really started struggling again because I remembered what happened at bath-time with Dad recently and I started to hyperventilate.
Merle got me up to my feet. Rubbed my arms soothingly. 'Calm down, it's only a bath...you'll feel better afterwards after a nice hot bath, ya know.' My older brother took me in his arms, carefully because of my cuts and bruises then and hushed me. He glanced back at Dad again over his shoulder with narrowed eyes before focusing on me. Stared at me like he was trying to figure me out – why I was so reluctant to have them run me a bath. I could virtually see the cogs turning in his head but still too slow! Making me want to scream at him.
'Let me take him.' The pervert said to Merle. 'Ya get yaself off to bed, son.
I grabbed at my brother then, terrified of being left alone with Dad. 'Merle!' I cried.
'Hush.' He gently pushed me inside the bathroom. 'I know it hurts, let's clean ya up. I'll go and get ya some painkillers in a ?'
'Merle...Don't...He's...' I wanted so badly to tell him the truth so that he wouldn't leave me alone with him, even for five minutes which I knew was long enough for him to make me do something but no words would come out. They were fishbones stuck in my throat.
Choking me.
'Ya got yourself a concussion, little brother. Don't know what ya doin'. Or sayin'. Come on.' Merle's voice grew steely with determination as he dragged me the rest of the way to the bathtub. Started running the hot water while Dad positioned himself in the doorway watching everything unfold, at the same time he was blocking my exit.
Merle checked the temperature of the water, before he turned to me.
'Take ya clothes off.' My brother told me while I looked from him to Dad and back. 'Dad, help him out. I think he's in too much pain.'
'Wh..what? I can undress myself, Moron!'
'Then what are you waitin' for?'
'N-nothin'. Look I can take care of myself. I'm not...that dizzy... anymore.'
'We leave him to it?" Merle looked questionly over to our father while I nodded eagerly up at him. He seemed to be finally getting the hint that I wanted to be left alone.
'Yeah...but what if he passes out again because of the concussion and drowns in the bath?' The bastard asked slyly. 'He needs to be watched.'
My heart sank.
'Shit, yeah didn't think about that. Can ya lift your arms OK?'
To my horror I couldn't, I knew then that someone would have to help me.
'Well, go on. I'll help you.' As if Merle had read my mind.
'OK – but I'm keeping my boxers on.' I told my brother, not looking at my father, knowing how disappointed the bastard would be.
'Fine.' Merle shrugged irritably. 'Do ya want me to turn my back too, baby Darlena? We all got the same equipment, don't know why ya gotta be so shy.' He mocked, calling me by that made-up girl's name when he wanted to tease me. Knowing how much I hated it.
'Fuck you!' Dad raised his eyebrows at this while Merle gave me a push – more gentle than usual because of my injuries.
So I got to keep on my boxers as I got gingerly into the bath. Merle started to sponge me down – washing the blood off my cuts until I snatched it away from him and did it myself. That was before he got in with me but keeping on his boxers too. Whenever I felt my head nodding as he massaged the back of my uninjured neck and shoulders with another frothy sponge and the pain throughout my body seemed to get less; I forced myself to snap wide awake. I didn't want to be in a vulnerable state with Dad watching.
Dad kept his face neutral but I knew he was enjoying every second of it.
I probably wouldn't have minded my brother helping me wash under other circumstances. It was all just too much with that bastard watching us through the open door, refusing to go. His mask slipped and that creepy smile was back on his face, looking like he could just eat the both of us up for dinner. Didn't Merle see? I could have screamed at him. Didn't he think this was weird?
Really Merle was drunk and high off his head as usual. Must be to not to notice how the sick fuck was looking at us.
'It's OK, I'll take over from here, son. Would ya mind gettin' those painkillers for him from the kitchen?' He asked my brother. I'd looked into my brother's bloodshot eyes and exhausted expression and knowing that he had his own, lesser injuries as well, he'd probably never make it into the kitchen to get me the pills. Probably would stagger into his room and pass out on his bed.
Worse – I wouldn't put it past the bastard to know this – it was just his way of getting Merle out of the way.
'No, Merle. I don't need any – it don't hurt no more.' I lied but he didn't seem to hear me.
I couldn't say anything much– it might give the game away about what Dad was doing to me but I begged my brother with my eyes not to leave me alone with him. But he still didn't see!
Truth be told, I knew he'd taken some shit before we left for Marty's, add that up to what he'd been drinking and it was only natural for him to be a little dopey. He had injuries too, I guess, I couldn't really blame him.
That didn't mean I had to stop trying to get through to him though.
'Please...Merle...I want ya to do it. Don't leave me.'
He ruffled my hair before he stumbled out. 'It's OK, baby brother. Jus' gonna go get those pills for ya...'
Of course, after I saw him lurching his way unsteadily to get them I thought that was it. Apparently he fooled dad too because he did come back while the asshole just stood there watching me with a blank expression on his face and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Relief short-lived.
Merle handed me the glass of water and smoothed back my hair as I swallowed the big, blue pills – didn't look like no pharmacy drugs to me - with the water as I wallowed in the still warm, soothing bathwater. Would they make me sleep, I wondered?
Merle grinned down at me. 'Don't worry, that there is potent shit. Works fast. Pain'll be gone in no time, jus' ya wait and see, baby brother.'
I grabbed hold of his wrists. 'Don't leave me. Please, Merle.'
He glanced at Dad, he wore a confused frown on his face. Like he didn't know.
But then Merle turned to go and I could have screamed because the stupid asshole still didn't get that I didn't want him to leave me alone with him. I sighed in frustration, I couldn't make things more clear to him than that without spilling my guts. 'Goodnight, baby brother. Ya did really well. Proud of ya.' He said.
I stood up in the bath then in a hurry while my eyes followed him desperately. He turned around and looked at me then, a little shocked. 'You'll make it worse if ya keep movin' like that.'
'M...Merle...Would ya just fuckin' stay?'
'I would, but I gotta lie down. Head's throbbin' like a bitch. I'm only in the next room, ya can holler if ya need anything. I'll hear ya.'
'No, ya won't. You're don't hear nothin' when you're asleep!'
'True.' Dad agreed with a look of mocking sympathy on his face that made me want to scream the truth out to Merle!
'Just relax, ya gotta keep calm, baby brother.'
'I'd be calm if you stayed with me.'
'Dad's here, you'll be okay. He knows that if he touches you he's dead.' Merle glanced sharply at our father.
Those words caused both me and my father to inhale sharply at the same time. A look passed between us, unseen by my brother.
Merle added in a more softer tone, ''Cos he knows that it can be dangerous punishin' ya on top of the bruises ya already got.'
I sighed then, and stared at my hurt hand at a loss at what to say or do. For a minute I thought he'd actually succeeded in putting the jigsaw puzzle pieces together.
'Don't worry, I'll take care of him, put him to bed properly.'
Fuck – why they treating me like this? Like I'm 5?'
'Go and sleep it off.' Our father ordered him and I watched as a pained expression came over my father's countenance just then, as if what he was going to say didn't come easy to him. 'Ya did good today, Merle.' My brother looked at him with surprise, I suspected it had been years since he'd heard those words coming out of that bastard's mouth (apart from last night when he brought the back home, that was. Still, praise from him was very rare).
'Doubt he would be alive if you hadn't been there. But ya ain't off the hook yet 'cos it didn't need never to happen if ya hadn't taken him there in the first place."
'No need to tell me that.' My brother mumbled in a voice thick with emotions that he held back when he looked down at me.
I was ready to try to get him to stay once more, before dad shot me a warning glare that made me close my mouth pretty quickly.
'Let ya brother go to bed, son. He's exhausted and hurt jus' like ya are.'
Merle just nodded his agreement with the statement and with that he left the bathroom without another glance back at me.
I felt alone, I felt abandoned and terrified.
But most of all I felt furious!
