Chapter 49: Monday Blues

Thanks for reading. It's a nice change to write Daryl being safe and in a relatively good place for once although I'm not sure about Mr. Rogers.

Do you think he's also abusing Daryl? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Please leave a review if you can. Thanks xxx

Rogers

The next day at school.

We didn't go to school together and obviously we weren't going to return to my home at the same time. He woke up early, helped himself to cereal from my cupboard and orange juice and left a couple of hours before I had to. I imagined that the rumours hadn't died down yet or in any case, neither of us wanted to risk it and I didn't want to feed the flames by keeping him back after class.

I thought he understood that.

God, I thought to myself. I want him to come onto me and kiss me again and do more than that if he was willing. I knew he'd enjoyed what I'd done to him the day before and was hoping for round 2 and more. He'd volunteered to give me amazing oral even though I told him I wasn't expecting him to return the favour!

God – he was amazing. What is he doing to me, I thought? He's the best I've had yet despite being so damaged by his father and his friend – just as bad as each other.

Or maybe because of them, I mused sadly. It was clear that he wanted me to replace their touches, their words and the deeds with my own where he had the power.

We carefully avoided each other at school, even during my class and didn't speak– hopefully the gossips would get bored and move onto the next latest scandal. I'd heard that Andrea and Shane had broken up over her cheating with another jock but only after she caught him with Summer – an empty-headed cheerleader from another class in retaliation. Andrea on the other hand, was a beautiful and very smart girl from a good family – Lord knows why they'd moved here. Shane had really screwed up and therefore, you could cut the atmosphere in class with a knife. The destined Prom King and Queen that summer were pointedly ignoring each other and their little fan-clubs were divided on either side. Fights had even broken out in the corridors between the two groups – apparently one of Shane's team-mates had called Andrea a dumb slut in public and another boy had jumped in to defend her honour. It made the dynamics in my class uncomfortable to say the least but at the same time, I hoped it would deflect attention away from me and Daryl.

Daryl melted easily into the background and made himself invisible. It was a tragic assumption but it was a skill he'd no doubt been forced to learn from living with – no trying to survive - his psychotic father. To not attract attention and hopefully avoid a beating or a cutting and now much worse. I rejoiced that I was maybe able to replace his memories of being forced with pain being inflicted on him deliberately with the ones we created together where I respected his boundaries and gave him pleasure instead.

I hoped that I could heal him.

I glanced sharply when I heard an insipid giggle. One of the straight-A girls who always appeared to listen to me intently in class was gazing up at me attentively. She and her friend were always on the verge of laughter. I wasn't even surprised to see 'Daryl D. 4 Rogers' with hearts and kisses engraved on the front of her desk. How long had that been there?I'd naively thought they'd had a crush on me, now I knew what they'd been laughing about. Even now, near the end of the second semester, I couldn't quite recall their names.

I never really noticed the girls.

Now, I had no doubts, as if I could have continued to lie to myself that no-one knew about my special 'mentoring' sessions with particular male students.

Thankfully, the time passed quickly with revision exercises and when I dismissed the class, he hung back. Staring at me with lost and hungry eyes.

I was annoyed with him for how obvious he was making it. 'I said you may go, Daryl.' My tone was a little sharper than I intended.

He opened his mouth and shut it again.

'Go!' I tried not to raise my voice but anyone could hear the strain in it as the other students left. I couldn't believe he wasn't taking my hint.

Some students stared and giggled under their breath as they finally left, the two frontline girls with them. Obviously lingering to see and eavesdrop on as much as they could.

Daryl's eyes suddenly widened with understanding and he went out without glancing at me. I hated upsetting him but nevertheless.

I waited and hoped that he would come back. It was lunchtime after all.

Smart boy, he did about 20 minutes later. I had got my pack lunch out and was just about to munch on my sandwich. I wasn't worried about him running off because last night he had asked me politely if he could stay at mine longer – as if I would refuse him!

'Sorry about that, son. You know I have to keep my distance from you here and vice-versa. Wasn't ignoring you.'

'Yeah, I know. I jus' wanted to see ya.' He closed the classroom door and shoved a chair under the handle and closed the blinds.

'Daryl – what the hell are you doing? Didn't you hear what I just said?' But at the cheeky gleam in his eyes, I felt my knees go weak.

'Daryl, no…not here…' But my voice trailed off and I knew I didn't have the strength or the will power to resist him as he confidently strode across the classroom to my desk and preceded to climb into my lap. He buried his face in the crook of my neck.

I needn't have worried.

'Missed ya.' He mumbled into it.

I wrapped my arms around him in response and patted his back gently. His bruises were starting to heal but I didn't want to take any chances and inadvertently add to his pain.

'Sh…' I wound one hand in his hair to soothe him. I knew how much he often needed to feel safe and cared for especially before we did anything

'I'll let you into a secret.' I whispered into his ear as I held him. 'I missed you too. Even though you were sitting right in front of me for 2 hours and I couldn't touch you or even talk to you.'

He laughed softly.

'You were driving me insane.'

He straightened up then and smirked. 'Looks like Andrea's not that into Shane anymore.'

'Maybe she's come to her senses enough to see him for what he really is.' I had never liked that arrogant loudmouth.

'Yeah.' He wouldn't look at me in the eyes and seemed to be considering something.

I chucked him lightly under the chin to get back his attention. 'With any luck, with all the drama, they'll forget about us. Then it's exams and school's out for the summer.'

He shrugged and looked down at the floor, downcast.

'What is it, son?' I lightly brushed off the dark strands from his face.

'Merle. I ain't been at home to know if he called or not. I hope he's OK.'

Hiding my irritation and the prick of jealously at him showing concern quite frankly - criminal brother to spoil what I hoped to be 'our moment', I held him closer to soothe him.

'Don't worry, I'm sure he can take care of himself.'

He got off me in a hurry but I kept on smiling. 'Ya don't understand. He's in real deep shit this time. They could kill him!' He was starting to panic and hyperventilate but I knew better than to pull him back onto my lap like I longed to do.

I didn't ask questions. To be honest, I didn't care. I only cared about what the effect it was having on him and our relationship.

'Shh. Why don't you go back tomorrow and check if he's there?' I suggested in self-sacrifice even as my heart sank down into my shoes – not least in fear on the risk he was taking in going back home. But I'd have done anything to take away that look off his face.

'Yeah…That's a good idea.' His expression lightened.

'I opened my arms. Come back here.' I added. 'Please.'

He went over but seemed a little reluctant.

How to get down to business without making him feel under pressure?

'Remember what fun we had yesterday? Thank-you for that.' I kissed his forehead.

He bowed his head and blushed delicately. He was simply gorgeous. 'That's OK. I…I enjoyed it too.' He said a little hesitantly.

Without warning, he leaned forward with his eyes closed to crush his lips to mine. Instead of withdrawing like I knew I should - it was neither the time nor the place - I let him do whatever he liked, but still carefully held back, letting him take the lead.

He soon had us mostly out of our clothes with me barely touching him.

I tipped his chin up and held his gaze to speak seriously. 'I meant what I said before. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.'

Knowing that this was the only way it was ever going to happen, I laid back and held him only loosely with my arms so that he felt that he could escape if he needed to.

He nodded. 'You don't have to keep on saying that. I know and I still want to do it.'

But even so, his voice was a little shaky but I decided to ignore it. I held my breath and wondered what he meant by 'it'? Was it what I was hoping for? If so, I still didn't think school was the best place and I changed my mind. We'd come far but surely; he needed more time and reassurance before he allowed me to do that.

However, his arms soon wrapped around my neck in adesperate manner which would have any normal man question the depth of his lover's passion and motivation but I found that I simply couldn't.

I wanted this too badly but still.

'We can stop…Don't expect anything from you. Why don't we eat? You can even share my sandwich…'

'Ain't hungry.' He almost snarled before he seized my lips so hungrily that I had to wonder about my misgivings before. When I thought him unwilling?

He laughed and run his hands over my chest and the rest. I was tempted to do the same – mirror his pace. However, he helped me to keep myself in check, just as he was coming closer and closer to pushing me over the edge. Because, just when I was close to losing control, he'd do something to distract me from whatever it was that he had been doing to make me all panting and worked up. Like move my hands or shift in my lap or off my groin. Like he was an expert at reading my body language and knowing when I was about to lose control completely. I shivered inside because Daryl still not wanting me to grasp him by the hips meant something – he wasn't so over his 'Dad' as he pretended. So, I avoided pinning him down in any way or making him feel trapped. Giving him free range to move – to get off me and leave even, if that's what he wanted. This seemed to make him feel safe enough to experiment with me further.

Like he did just now when he moved my hand from his hip to his hair instead, sighing with relief when I left it where he'd put it and kissed me harder. It felt almost like he did this in gratitude for me not hurting him and this made me feel such a stab of sadness and pity that I almost stopped. Also, it made me calm down as I did what he silently directed me to do.

He smiled wistfully in approval and I was glad to see that the tears that had glistened in them seemed to melt away from his eyes. Especially when I ruffled his hair with one hand while with the other, I hugged him closer and stroked his back in a soothing manner.

Then, with a jolt of surprise, I heard myself whispering over and over, when I had the breath to reassure him even more: 'Not gonna hurt you, never gonna hurt you...You want stop, jus' say the word and we'll stop. You're the one in control.'Because this particular boy needed more reassurances than most and also, I guessed somewhere deep inside, I knew that this maybe wasn't what he reallywanted. He was hurting and not really looking for this kind of comfort.

Hopefully, I could make it all better in at least one way.

He writhed around in my lap, apparently in all innocence to get even closer to me, driving me completely bonkers. But then I saw that Dixon trademark arrogant smirk twisting his shapely lips and the knowing smirk in his eyes, daring me. All I wanted to do when he did this, was to rip off the rest of his clothes and mine and take him right there. On that dirty desk, scratched with who knew what other filthy obscenities about me and him, no doubt. I chuckled at that because it seemed fitting somehow and God knows I had fantasised enough about doing him in this very classroom.

Moreover, it seemed like he was inviting me to cross that last line with all trace of fear and apprehension completely gone from him now. Probably the things I'd been saying to him and the way I'd taken are to treat him with particular gentleness and consideration had something to do with it too.

It was the way I usually seduced boys because this way worked the best and when I'd got rough and demanding with him that one time was completely out of character for me. I still didn't understand what made me act like that with him. I never hurt my boys. So, I held myself back until he gave me clear permission because I sensed that with this boy who had been abused in God knows what other ways, another wrong sidestep from me could be the end of his little experiment. Even though he forgave me for getting forceful with him yesterday when I was in his mouth and just about to come and I'd warned him that I would probably still get things wrong but he only had to tell me. Then I would stop whatever I was doing immediately.

He took me out and did his thing but just before I came, he stopped just like he did before and grinned up at me, mouth red and slick with my juices, the little temptress.

'Why…ooh why…did you do that?' I looked down at him in desperation, taking care to keep the frustration or irritation from showing on my face and in my voice. I was particularly worried about making him think I would hurt him in punishment like his evil abuser.

He just shrugged and smiled up innocently at me.

'Right, I'm going to have to make you pay for that, Dixon.' Realising what I had just said and who I sounded like, I stopped in horror. I froze and took my hands away from him and backed off slowly.

But he was right back on me in a second, smirking and growling. Since he didn't show any signs of stopping or wanting to slow down, emboldened, I flipped us around so that he was the one sitting on top of my big desk at the front of the classroom. Before I went on though, I watched him carefully for any signs of fear.

Of course, there were none but a daring look challenging me to do something.

'You can make me stop anytime but I gotta punish you now.' I told him sternly.

He whined against me when I started fondling him. 'Go ahead.' He breathed.

Was he giving me permission? Permission to do what exactly? And why here?

I positioned myself between his legs and let my arms circle around him once more. But I did nothing.

He whimpered and ground against me, clearly wanting to excite me into doing something. Nevertheless, I kept my hands off him deliberately and smiled at him sardonically.

'What…What? Said I'm ready!' He cried out impatiently.

Ready for what exactly? I mused to myself.

Still I did nothing. Even when he made to shove my hands down between his legs, craving friction on his erection, I resisted.

'This is your punishment.'

'Fuck!' He groaned in need and whined. Just stared at me with wide eyes of disbelief. He didn't know that I was punishing myself just as much as him – it was such a huge struggle for me to control myself and hold back from him.

'Please!' He whined, begging me with his eyes like a puppy-dog.

'This is what you get. I'm not giving you what you want. Anyway, lunch recess is nearly over.' I made to stand up. Deep down, I was grinning inside. It was so much fun giving as good as I got – me teasing him for a change.

'Fuuck…You bastard! I wanna…' He squirmed uselessly against me, trying to rouse my aching dick. He didn't have to do much more than that – I knew if he didn't stop anytime soon, I'd come in my pants. How embarrassing just before I needed to teach!'

I smiled as I took pity on him. 'OK, we got about 10 minutes.' Then I did something. I heard him moan in almost relief as I leaned us back a little while supporting his back with one handas the other caressed him. I slid my fingers over his toned abs that were straining due to our weird half-prone position. However, he soon let me know that he wouldn't appreciate me laying him flat on his back on the desk at all. I was met with more resistance when I tried to gently lean him further back, grateful that he didn't panic outright and stop us on my second and final attempt but I knew he wasn't ready.

Instead of getting frustrated, I felt the urge to soothe him as it was pretty obvious to me how confused he was now. Regretting it now, I rested my cheek against his, whispering in his ear: 'Shhh, everything's going to be OK.'

I found myselflying through my teeth as I continued; 'I don't want it if you don't.'

I think he actually whimpered in sheer gratitude.

'Actually, I've changed my mind. I'm not going to punish you. I'm going to…' I deliberately left the sentence hanging and heard him take in a sharp intake of breath of anticipation.

He squirmed and nearly cried out loud in excitement rather than the hushed noises we'd been making. I kissed his cheek chastely before I slowly started on his torso again.The reality was that I hoped with everything that I had got from him already - what he had allowed me to do that this would go further. Not now because there was no time but hopefully later on tonight. I thought of it as a warm-up session. Lost in my thoughts, adoring the boy with my tongue that I had almost got under me but not quite, I couldn't helpbut sigh: 'Just as I thought, perfection.'

He tensed up in my arms but I barely noticed him do that even as I licked and nipped my way down his chest again. Even over the razor thin scars over his chest and taut stomach that could only be from the asshole's knife. Even that couldn't stop me in my haze of desire. I was too busy worshipping him. I'd been on my way from his nipples – repeating what I did to him before but with a slight twist as I nibbled and sucked them like he was a girl. He was bucking and writhing by then and I had to cover his mouth to smother his cries.

I'd smiled to myself at the effects of me playing with him– not many boys could resist (to say I was experienced with them was an understatement) when I did that, going lower and lower to hover around the top of his jeans. I had been on the verge of pulling them down with his underwear to give him the blowjob of his life – better than even yesterday's – I reckoned we just about had time before my next class streamed in. This was in the hope he would return the favour with interest later at home – i.e., let me go the ultimate step with him. He'd been moaning softly – music to my ears and bucking in my arms.

I even dared to think that I would get everything from him that I desired that night but then, suddenly it was all over when he froze at my careless words. I repeated the seemingly harmless words in my head:

'You're so beautiful, son. Nothing they did to you can ever take that away.'

'Don't! That's all ya gonna get!' He shoved me away and did up his flies.

I immediately let go of him and gave him space while he rounded on me.

'Never thought I was getting anything, son. You surprised me.'

'Right. Like he never does.'

'I'm not them.'

The sarcastic tone in his young voice was so bitter and cynical that the contrast made me gape my mouth half-open in surprise. I was too shocked to follow up what he'd said – that little clue that meant he was opening up a little – crack by small crack at a time. When I thought I'd cracked him wide open yesterday but apparently not.

He was closed now just like a clam.

I knew what we had going wouldn't be easy – his progress would be thwart with setbacks. He'd get suspicious of me at times and not trust me not to hurt or force him. Take something I innocently said the wrong way.

I knew no-one could get over what had been done to him by their own parent, especially not in mere weeks, probably not in years or maybe not even over their whole lifetime even if he seemed fine sometimes.

Yet he was tough and intelligent, I knew that. The fact that he hadn't fallen apart from everything he'd gone through told me that.

'You're so beautiful, son. Nothing they did to you can ever take that away.' What was so wrong with that? Surely it was a compliment, no?

Stricken with disappointment and kicking myself for being so stupid because who knew what kind of memories or feelings those words had triggered in him.

Probably his current abuser - his father? Or Mike? - had said them too and a wave of nausea hit me then to thinkthat I would think like them, let alone talk like them. I wasn't a predator or abuser! Eventhough it took all my willpower to do it, I let him go.

My hardness punished me for it by starting to hurt a little, straining at the crotch of my jeans that suddenly felt too tight. I tried to ignore it while staying where I was because maybethere was a possibility of him changing his mind after all and we could resume where we'd left off. Clearly, I had just said the wrong thing, or acted too eageragain.

He straightened up, looking like he had almost reached breaking point as he mumbled: 'What the fuck's wrong with me? You ain't gonna hurt me, I know that. I'm sorry…' He twisted his hands nervously. 'You didn't even say anythin' bad - I jus' freaked out.'

'You got nothing to apologize for Daryl. Nothing at all. If anybody has...it's me. Pushing you when you aren't ready.' I looked at my watch pointedly and started pulling up my pants and he followed my lead to put on his shirt. We both glanced at the classroom door anxiously at exactly the same time.

'But…But…' He was crestfallen, looking like he was afraid for disappointing me.

I went up to him and stroked his hair. 'We can continue this lesson another time, Dixon. Don't worry if you're struggling now, I'm sure you'll get the solution with more practice.'

I eyed him significantly even as we both tried to get our breaths back. His expression brightened he gave a small devilish grin as he realised what I was really saying.

I had loudly announced this in case anyone was eavesdropping outside like keen students waiting to come in. Maybe wondering why, they couldn't open the door. But we heard nothing.

Thank the Lord no-one had tried to come in. But our luck could only hold so long.

'I will try better in future, Sir.' He answered cheekily in the same vein and pecked me on my lips.

'You better go onto your next class. What do you have?'

'History.' He rolled his eyes.

I lowered my voice. 'I'll see you back home later.'

He grinned, all sunny skies now. 'Bye, Sir. Thanks for your help.'

He laughed and skipped around me before he ran to clear the door and open it.

I jokingly swiped at him with my notebook.