Chapter 57: Prisoner

Here's the next chapter – enjoy! Dad is at his most sadistic, poor Daryl. When is it going to stop?

Please leave a review – it would make me very happy! x

Daryl

The next night, he announced: 'This is ya 'special' punishment for fornicating with that teacher like the little slut ya really are.' He stripped me impatiently to my jeans after he dragged me into my own room. I didn't even wonder why he let me keep those on when he usually insisted on being being totally naked.

'No! Merle!' I tossed my head and fought him as he pinned me down with his weight and tied my hands and legs to those of my bed with rope. 'Get off me!'

With a mocking courtly flourish with his hand, he stepped back but only to admire his handiwork.

Restrained, lying on my stomach unable to turn back a full 180 degrees to see what he was doing, I suddenly started to panic. He'd never tied me up before! It356

It wasn't like I could fight him off, anyway.

'Let's mix things up a little, hey? What's wrong with tryin' something different, son?'

I glared at him.

'Well, what do you expect me to do when you ran away from me? I'm ya father! Do ya know how worried I was not knowing where ya were! Couldn't tell the cops. And all to be with him!' He spat after his maudlin tone turned suddenly savage.

'I'm sorry, Daddy.' I fluttered my eyelashes at him and lowered my head submissively to the bed like I knew he liked. 'I'll never run away again, promise! Do what ya want but just untie me, Daddy! Please!' (I thought calling him that might make him show mercy although calling a monster like him that stuck in my throat).

He laughed at my useless struggles.

'Oh, I know ya won't. 'Cos, I'm serious – I'll kill ya precious big brother if ya do – but this time only after I've had the same kind of fun with him. Whether ya here or not!'

'Noo…Even you wouldn't …' I gasped in horror. Sure, he'd threatened to kill him loads of time but to do to him what he did to me?

He chuckled with a crazy glint in his eye. 'Doin' you, ain't I? Why leave Merle out of all the fun and spoil you alone?'

'Don't hurt him!' And then, speak of the devil, just then we heard his heavy boots thumping up the stairs plus other lighter feet racing with him and girlish giggling. We must have both missed the door slamming as usual with my drunk brother who must have picked up two girls from the bar. It was only 2, right? Not more? Although more wouldn't have surprised me.

He cursed under his breath and looked at my closed bedroom door anxiously. I knew what he was thinking – he was wondering if he should put my chair under it but then he shrugged and changed his mind like he didn't care if Merle came in and saw us.

But just then, the giggling got louder along with my brother's chuckles. One of them shrieked with excitement and I could almost picture them in my head – were they helping each other undress? Having zero experience of girls – only with men, I had no idea. What did the girls look like? Were they hot? Or his usual meth addicts? What were they doing now? I heard the bedsprings squeak next door like they were going to break any minute.

Listening to all this must have fired up Dad's lust for me because now he was drooling at me like he longed to eat me up.

Maybe I was also engrossed in what Merle was doing to those women so that I forgot to yell for him. Even if it would be embarrassing in front of 2 visitors who were probably already naked by then.

'Why does he get all the chicks, huh? Ugly, useless, junkie loudmouth.'

'Don't call him that! He's not!' Of course, I couldn't see him snarl and back hand me from behind. Hard.

'Ya love ya beloved brother. Why don't ya love me like ya do him, huh?'

I didn't reply – was he serious? Or probably just laughing at me. The reason should have been crystal clear to him.

'Shut up!' Dad hissed at me. I was about to yell for Merle but Dad got there first and shoved a dish towel into my mouth that he must have brought with him from the kitchen and then tied another one around it to keep it fixed.

At least it's clean, I thought to myself. In my world, small mercies like that was rare and I was so pathetically grateful for small mercies back then.

As Merle really got into his threesome after making the women scream and moan in pleasure first, Dad got turned on more and more. I guessed he was jealous that my brother had so much prowess in the bedroom department and that his sex partners actually wanted to have sex with him. He didn't have to force them – but I knew Daddy Dearest loved the fact that I hated everything he did to me and how I always fought him. Crazily, I got to asking myself if Merle could make me moan like that before I stopped myself. I was sick for thinking of him in that way!

Dad was brutal as he got on with it, his jealousy towards my brother and what was going on next door obviously feeding his wrath. He added to my discomfort by crushing my face down against the pillow – no doubt he thought it was fun. Never mind my panic at not being able to take a complete breath. Worse - I could feel my blood and his disgusting sticky fluid all over me but I couldn't move, wanting desperately to wash it off. Having a shower would be heaven even if he did force me to 'perform' for him again.

At one point, after he'd finished for third or fourth time – I can't remember exactly, he rapidly untied me – so fast that I could barely react and flipped me onto my back. Apparently, he'd got bored with the same position. I tried to buck him off and escape but he chuckled as he easily pinned me down with his weight like he usually did, crushing my chest at the same time and tied me back up. That position was the worst, despite being able to see what he was doing because that also made it practically impossible to block him out or pretend none of it was really happening. Having me look at him apparently was a bonus since he was particularly fond of that. He had to wait a bit though until he could get hard again during which he would taunt me but at least he didn't hit me. Sometime later on during this nightmare, which lasted all night, he blindfolded me, fuelling my sense of weakness and terror.

Damn my brother for being so teasingly close, and unable to help me. He had reverted to 'Dumbass-Merle' as soon as his dick became involved, making him unable to think of anything else so much that I thought even if Dad took my gag off and didn't bother muffling his own noises, Merle would never notice but maybe his 'guests' would. I guessed that one of them would be bleach-blond – peroxide of course, and the other brunette – just as he liked them. Of course, the blonde would be a total bimbo and cheap in every way. Probably a junkie whore who tried to make herself look prettier than she really was, no doubt. The brunette could have passed as a normal girl if you didn't know Merle's preferences in 'ladies' like I did. I knew his type - underneath all the plastered make-up, they would be skanks. For some reason, my brother wasn't interested in decent girls. Or in 'going steady' either.

At liberty to do whatever he wanted with me combined with the unmistakable noises of pleasure coming from Merle's room - mixed in with his own grunts and groans, turned Dad on to put things mildly. But my brother wasn't to know that.

Having Merle so close to us also excited him – he was getting more and reckless as the time passed by, although to me it seemed that night would never end. I couldn't believe Dad had the stamina to keep on going at me. I was so sore and bleeding – no surprise even he didn't feel the need to hit me or cut me while he did it. But I couldn't blame my big brother for not keeping his noises down, he didn't know that he was making things worse for me by inadvertently egging on our father to become even more sadistic than usual. Probably thought they were alone in the house. I cursed inwardly because he was just being his usual selfish, thoughtless self. He liked women, liked boasting about his latest sexcapades among his buddies even more but hardly ever mentioned his new notches among many in his bedpost with me. Would have been weird maybe.

Dad was more prone to lose control since I came back that was obvious and he didn't bother to be quite as quiet as the night wore on. Like he was daring my brother to hear.

However, when Merle and his 'girlfriends' finally went quiet, he did try to keep it down. We hadn't heard his door open or them leaving and I was surprised that he let them sleep there in his bed with him because his usual modus operandi was to kick them out as soon as he had got what he wanted from them.

I briefly wondered if he'd tied them up too like there was a telepathic link between him and Dad and Merle was unconsciously mimicking what dad was doing to me mere metres away. I'd seen handcuffs and all sorts of weird shit in his bottom-drawer hidden under his porn mags.

And here I was in my own bed, tied up. The ropes had chafed against my skin, leaving red marks. I thought that was pretty stupid of Dad – how was I going to hide those? I'd long lost all sensation in my hands and feet and I was feeling like a mental-patient when they're strapped down against their will. I felt like I wasn't there and imagined I saw myself, floating above my own body near the ceiling even though he'd blindfolded me. Looking down at me and Dad on top of me – thrusting regularly and more viciously than normally but at least there was no pain – I couldn't feel anything in my body in fact. Maybe I'd finally gone crazy for sure.

When he came for what seemed like the hundredth time – I lost count - I was mercilessly dragged back into my body. I noticed that my breathing was ragged and I was in shock, not knowing how much I could take. He sagged on top of me, weighing me down before he decided to pull out. He stroked my hair as he thankfully leaned back away from me.

'Oh, my poor baby boy. Look at the mess Daddy's made.' He laid slimy, wet kisses all over the back of my neck and throat where he'd been biting me short time ago and my body flinched away but he didn't stop.

He never stopped.

'Fuck you.' I snarled as soon as he ripped my gag off and thankfully along with the blindfold, forcing me to strain my ears and listen to the tone of his voice to figure out what was coming next. He laughed mockingly like Merle did sometimes when I said or did something particularly dumb or naïve.

'Now, I know ya don't mean that, do ya, boy? I know ya really sore. Don't know what you're sayin'.' He mocked. 'Was Daddy too rough with you?' He crooned in that infuriating sing-song voice that he used on me when I was very small.

'You can't touch me – not where it matters.'

'Ya wanna bet? How about we go again? Would ya like that, sweetheart?' I hissed when I couldn't believe that he still had it in him. Meanwhile, the light was growing stronger outside my windows and the dawn chorus was starting after a few cheery chirps.

Despite myself, my show of bravado dissolved as my body tensed up.

'N...no. Please don't.' I hated the pathetic plea that had crept into my voice.

'Nah... didn't think so. Count yaself lucky that ya sweet, tight little ass has done worn ya Daddy out.'

I snorted and turned away. I couldn't bare to look at him.

'What happened to ya brother? Did they leave?' He bent down to kiss my cheek while I made a sound of disgust and flinched away.

'When I tie ya up and blindfold and gag ya, ya even more terrified than usual and I love it when ya call me 'Daddy' just like ya used to. Ya also a hell of a lot more submissive.'

'Sick fuck.' I mumbled.

'What was that?' He yanked me closer to him by grabbing my hair.

'Think I'll do this again, but not now. What do ya say to that, son?' Then, he ruffled my hair fondly like he used to. I tried my best to get as far away as I could from his hand without bothering to answer. Not like anything I would have said mattered, not like I had much choice in any of it. Besides, him asking me was only to mock me and emphasise exactly how powerless I actually was.

He never seemed to be hurt at me moving away from him like he might have been in the past. Didn't seem to care anymore.

'What the fuck did I do to deserve this, huh?!' I growled. He slapped the back of my head then – not enough to hurt but to let me know who the boss was and put my blindfold back on.

I felt his weight shift off the bed and then there was silence, I couldn't make out his heavy breathing anymore or sense his presence. I never heard him leave. However, instead of feeling relief, I was full of alarm.
I fought down the panic of not knowing when he was coming back and with what.

I started to struggle. 'Merle!' I called out as loudly as I could. Hoping I could wake him up without Dad hearing. 'Merle!'

I tried again, 'Merle! Wake up, dumbass!' I quickly shut up when I heard dad's heavy foot-tread returning however.

'Take it off and untie me, ya piece of shit!' I yelled at him, all my pent-up fury and terror coming out at once.

He just laughed like Merle and ruffled my hair.

'How about I keep ya as ya are, son? Much more fun when ya can't move. Must make it more exciting for you when ya can't see what I'm doin' to ya.'

'No! Just leave me alone!'

He was somewhere behind me and there was a rustling sound as I tried desperately to get out of my restraints. I could barely hold in my whimper and tears of anger and frustration. I shifted, trying to get the circulation back into my hands and feet. Then I felt something hit my stomach with a soft slapping sound and, I couldn't help shuddering. What was his sick plan now?

'Calm the fuck down, ya dirty boy.' He drawled out the last two words obscenely. 'Daddy's only gonna clean ya up, so lie still for him, will ya? Ya filthy with me all over ya and we wouldn't want ya brother to come in and see ya in this state.'

'He'll kill ya and I'll help him!' I screamed in a sudden burst of fury, hoping he would hear. Calling out for him directly would be too dangerous. I shuddered at his words nonetheless, at the same time that I tried to buck him off and struggle as much as I could. If it was my imagination or not, I wasn't sure but it felt like I'd managed to loosen the knot on my left wrist. With renewed energy, I continued to pull until I felt blood trickle down my arms.

My frustration about everything he did to me, the feeling of being powerless to stop it almost made me numb at the pain as the tight ropes cut into my wrists even further. I knew he would punish me severely for it but I just had to try again: 'MERLE!'

'Told ya to stop that!' I was rewarded with a heavy blow with something hard against the side of my head. When he'd momentarily subdued and weakened me, he shoved the gag back into my mouth as I tried to spit it out stubbornly, but he won. He always did.

Even though I screamed as loud as my lungs were capable of, it was no use. I couldn't help myself as a sob escaped me.

He stroked back my hair tenderly while I felt him get behind me on the bed in between my shaking, spread legs. 'Sh...sh... Ain't gonna hurt ya no more. Got yourself to blame for forcin' me to gag ya again but I admire ya spirit. Maybe ya really are a Dixon after all. Sh...sh... it's only soap and water, nothin' that can hurt. Promise.' He crooned softly to me.

Needless to say, I didn't trust him. Wouldn't put it past him to torture me with acid or something along those lines – I was even waiting for the tell-tale burning.

But it never came and instead he washed me in circular motions.

I could feel his hands hovering underneath my ass, pushing it upwards as he deliberately waited just to torment me before he slapped the side of my left buttock hard. Then he caressed the stinging spot before landing a soft kiss on it to finish. I felt sick as I writhed away.

'Ya like that boy, see - Daddy knows what ya like.' He mocked, deliberately misinterpreting my reaction.

After that, he wiped me down gently with the towel but feeling it alight on the tender skin that he'd just slapped however, I squirmed to get away from him. I actually managed to force the cloth slightly forward in my mouth making it a little bit easier to breathe.

'Come on, son. Be a good boy for Daddy and let him clean ya up otherwise I'll shove somethin' up inside ya to really get ya clean. Wouldn't want that, huh?'

I breathed hard through my nose as I grabbed at the bedposts in terror at that repeated threat, just waiting for him to make it true even if I stopped moving obediently. He was a bastard that way. Always ready to twist everything to his advantage.

'You can let me thank you for all the pleasure you've given me, can't ya? Easy does it.'

He deliberately dragged out the disgusting process, lingering over my body as he traced my inner thighs with his fingertips, making me shiver despite myself. Only to end up in the cleft of my ass. Freaked out beyond reason, I moved my body as far away from him as I could. No point, of course, I didn't stand a chance.

'Let Daddy reward ya.' He crooned as he stuck two fingers slowly into me – it wasn't a big stretch as I was still pretty loose, open and raw, still slick from him using me all night. His fingers stung despite this until they brushed that sensitive place inside me that my teacher called my 'prostrate' and my body bucked and I moaned with pleasure to my utter horror. I couldn't help it because he was touching me like Rogers did! Worse -I liked what he was doing to me and I let out another wanton moan and pushed back against him, wanting more of that exquisite feeling and I kept trying to get more of it even as my face flushed with shame.

'That's a good boy. Just give in to it.' He whispered, his voice thick with concentration and want, adding to my feelings of shame and confusion.

A part of me of was disgusted and knew that I couldn't control my physical responses, much less deny them. I didn't want him to stop and probably I was as sick as he was. Horrified as I let out a loud moan to top it all off, I could sense him smirking at getting what he wanted out of me. He'd shown me how powerless I was to even control my own body and he could give me pleasure or pain as he saw fit.

I knew he'd gotten the reaction he waited for.

'See, ya do like it. I knew it, ya hot little bitch. Just needed somebody to show ya. I wanted to be the first one but I guess ya teacher already got there first– Mr. Rogers did, didn't he? Should've been me, ya own father. That's the real reason I had Merle kill him. ' His voice rose in anger and he roughly withdrew them again and I couldn't help myself giving a little whine of disappointment. I had barely registered what he'd said about Carl.

'Ya want more?' He asked.

I shook my head, desperate for him to stop touching me although my traitorous body wanted the very opposite.

He chuckled: 'Jus' be grateful that wasn't my cock in ya just now. But judging by the reaction I got doin' this, ya might've welcomed it, huh?'

I was sobbing in humiliation into the pillow because what he'd just done, forcing that unexpected reaction out of me seemed even worse than what he usually did to me.

This time, at least my sobs seemed to rouse that fatherly, protective instinct that I thought was gone forever. He sounded genuinely concerned now. 'Shh, ain't gonna hurt ya.' He brushed my hair up and down my nape, like he used to when I was younger to calm me down.

Remembering this made things even worse. 'You'll feel better not having everythin' dryin' up on and in ya.'

I whimpered in disgust. 'Like you care!'

I was surprised that he heard exactly what I'd said even with the rag in my mouth. But he'd sure heard my moans when he stroked that special place deep inside me. But then again, he was used to pricking up his ears to detect the slightest sound from potential prey while out hunting.

At least in the past.

His mouth was close to my ear as he breathed out: 'Of course, I care.'

He traced my jaw with his lips then, as he pinned me down, stopping me even from turning my head: 'If I didn't, you'd be in much worse shape than you are now. Think about that. Piss me off one time too many – like try to run away again, and I might not be as forgiving. Might...lose control.' He finished ominously, leaving me wondering what he meant. Did he mean he might completely lose it one day and kill me?

Some days, when he was at his worst, like now, I almost wished he would. Putting an end to it all once for good. But then my thoughts always flew back to Merle. He loved me and we only really had each other - what would he do if I wasn't there anymore?

He wiped me clean relentlessly but for once, I could tell he was trying to be gentle as possible. Yet he lingered disgustingly long and touched me in various places unnecessarily, leaving me shaking all over by the time he finished.

'You did good, Daryl. Don't ya worry. I won't leave ya lyin' here all by ya lonesome.' He kissed me on my forehead.

I didn't answer him, just tried to focus on the fact that he was finished with me for a while at least.

Incredibly, somehow, I managed to fall asleep listening to the shower running with my mind blank. I guess it was the exhaustion after a night of hell.

Daryl

I woke up groggy, and tried to make speak, forgetting that I was still bound and gagged and of course nothing came out. My back was cold and bare, but I could feel something covering my lower body and I was thankful for that fact for a split second, remembering that he'd pulled up my pants and jeans before he left. I tried to move my legs and discovering that they were just as tightly tied as before, I kicked at nothing in particular in my anger and frustration.

I tried to scream as I moved in panic within the limited range my fetters allowed me and the events from the night before started to come back to me.

I was tied up and I was gagged. What was worse, was that I still had that damn blindfold on. I was surrounded by pitch black and everything was so silent around me. Worse, I was still in pain and felt completely exposed and starving and parched with thirst as my stomach growled. I tried to intently listen for any sign of the bastard nearby, or Merle for that matter but I couldn't hear shit.

I figured since I couldn't do much but hope that Merle would come in here before Dad did, I closed my eyes as I tried to fight the sense of dread and panic that was slowly rising my chest.

I managed to calm down after a little while and my breathing was more or less normal, a loud crash startled me as the door opened and I started to hyperventilate and my heart thunder in my chest. The loud swearing that followed made me cower back before I realized it was Merle and then I could have cried in relief.

'Fuckin' Christ, brother! What's he done to ya now? He tie ya up? How long ya been there?' He was next to me in no time, removing the blindfold first. I squinted as I tried to get my unused eyes accustomed again to the sudden light in the room, before they focused on my brother's shocked face. I glared at him then trying to make a point as I made some noise that obviously was muffled.

'Shit, yeah, sorry.' He removed the rag from my mouth. 'What the hell has he done to ya?'

'Merle… Why didn't ya hear us? I tried to… but he was…he was…' My voice failed then; I was unable to continue as my eyes filled with hot tears of as much relief as shame that I refused to give in to. It was bad enough that I'd broken down in front of the bastard. Thankfully, my brother didn't see my tears, I deliberately looked away from him. Sick and tired of showing weakness to my dad who fucking relished it. But Merle was no fool, he knew me better than most and probably could tell I wasn't far from breaking.

'It's OK, sh...sh... Merle's got ya. I got ya.' He started to gently untie me – first one hand from the bed post, then the other. Then, finally my feet – one from each of its posts. He carefully massaged my aching and bleeding wrists and ankles, cursing as he did it.

'We'll have to get those bandaged up.' He said. Of course, he'd made the bonds sadistically tight, nearly cutting the blood-flow off completely.

I gasped as it started circulating as normal, bringing along with it that painful pins and needles feeling. But I even welcomed this.

He grabbed a chair then, and moved closer to the bed while I refused to move for reasons unknown to him. He must have thought it strange that I preferred to lie there on my stomach. Sure - Dad had done a pretty damn good job at cleaning me up – must have done since Merle didn't comment much about the state I was in. But then, he wasn't interested in the parts of my body that the old creep was so wasn't looking in the right places.

Underneath, I was still sticky and feeling filthy dirty from the stains on the sheet that he'd forgotten about. Or had he forgotten about them? Maybe he was testing me on some level?Wouldn't put it past him. Even if I wanted to get off that bed more than anything then, if not only to relieve my bladder on the point of bursting, I simply couldn't. There would be no turning back once I moved and Merle saw. He wasn't an idiot by any means even if he acted like one most of the time. He knew what dried semen looked like and seeing that combined with my blood, he would know exactly how Dad had 'punished' me. It would be too obvious even for him not to realise. Besides, I still couldn't handle him knowing not the amount of my shame I was in just then.

My brother looked down at me, eyes checking my back and the rest of my body for new injuries while he tutted and swore under his breath. 'Twisted shit. What's this – some kind of new punishment he's dreamed up? Tying ya to the bed all night and jus' leavin' ya there? Sick, even for him.'

I could only lie there and think to myself, Brother, if you only knew. Couldn't he figure it out?

He frowned down at me, his arms crossed against his chest. 'Don't see any new cuts or marks on ya. He didn't hit ya?' He sounded surprised like he couldn't believe this.

'No. He didn't touch me.' Lying even to protect that bastard was so natural to me now.

'Yeah? Well, what are these? Look like hickies to me.' He lightly fingered the bitemarks along my throat and my collarbone as he stubbornly pushed my head further back to have a better look at them. His eyes narrowed then, as he got even closer. 'What the…? Did he fuckin' bite ya, baby brother?'

My cheeks flushed red then, being bitten was the least of my problems and what he'd done. He'd been so violent. I considered telling him that I had found a girlfriend but I knew he would never buy that.

'I just don't get it. Why would he bite ya?' His voice rose in disbelief. He got up then and put his hand under my side, about to turn me over but I stopped him by putting my hand on his arm.

'Don't.'

He instantly removed it and came around to the front of the bed, in my line of vision again, and knelt down there on the carpet. Frowning at me as if trying to work something out in his head. His thinking expression was hilarious– right out of some comic in which the 'stupid' character sports a big bubble with a question mark in it floating above his head.

'Ya serious? Why not? Ya jus' gonna lie there like that?' He approached me again.

'Come now. It's jus' me.' He coaxed.

'M... Merle...It ain't that.' I looked up into his eyes while he brushed back my long fringe from my face to reassure me before he got back onto his feet and stepped back a little.

'Come on, I'll help ya. Sure looks like you're in a lot of pain, baby brother, what with ya wrists and ankles.' Without warning, he tried again to flip me over and he nearly succeeded until I grabbed him hard. Dug my fingers into him while he looked at me in bewildered surprise.

'No. Don't! I'm OK. He didn't touch me except to bite me, I swear it, Merle.' At least not in the way you think but even worse. I couldn't believe he was falling for my bullshit. I sighed, 'I'll turn over, but I want that sheet first!'

He laughed then mockingly because it wasn't like I was naked but he did take his hand away, giving me the chance to turn over. I did it as quickly as I could, wincing at the pain I felt all over. I covered the stains on the sheet with the other as quickly and subtle as I could. He thought it was to protect my dignity.

'Why ya always so shy? Anybody'd think ya had somethin' that none of us have. Ya got jeans on, for fuck's sake and I can't see anythin' not that I'd be lookin' down there anyways!'

'Fuck off, Merle. Jus' 'cos I don't like flauntin' it 'bout like you and Dad do. Besides, I was lyin' there half-naked all fuckin' night! I wanna cover up some!'

He shrugged: 'Guess that's fair enough. Ya actin' weird though.'

'Ya think?' I drawled then with biting sarcasm, and pulled the sheet closer to me, all the while I was keeping an eye out to prevent any tell-tale stains from slipping into view.

'Should've known somethin' was wrong. I was up all night…' He stopped himself and I couldn't believe that he was blushing. Merle embarrassed? Never!
'Who could blame ya? Those gigglin' bimbos were probably takin' up all ya concentration, I bet.'

'Ya sassin' me, baby brother?' He smiled then. 'That's OK, though. I would be pissed at me too if I'd been the one lyin' tied up, gagged and blindfolded all night. I'm sorry.'

His rare apology did nothing to decrease my anger with him and I gave him a hard shove, making him stumble backwards, laughing in that infuriating, superior way of his that I hated. He got up onto the bed and grabbed me into a bear-hug in retaliation. I had to fight the impulse to tell him to get off the disgusting bed – but I soon forgot about it when he started to look at me. Slightly tilting his head to the side, a thing he always did when he was concerned and wanted to encourage me to talk.

It never failed either as he cleared his throat: 'Now, tell me, baby brother.' He got serious all of a sudden, changing the subject. 'Ya tellin' me he tied ya to ya bed all night and jus' left ya there? Didn't hit or whip ya none? That's a new one. What the hell did ya do in the first place to piss him off?'

Despite myself, I shuddered against his chest and started to tremble. Fuck, I'm such a pussy. He and Dad are right about me. After last night, the last thing I should have ever wanted was to be touched by another human being again yet I felt comforted;

when he gave me a hug and stroked my hair then, uncharacteristically tender for him because he must have sensed that something was really wrong.

'Why the fuck did he bite ya, huh?' He whispered almost more to himself than to me, before he let me go.

Panic grabbed at me then, something in his voice and the look in his eyes told me what was coming. It was clear that he was thinking about what he'd actually seen and slowly putting the pieces together. I cursed Dad for being so careless just leaving me there like that for him to find. For the bitemarks too.

Merle confirmed my fears by grabbing my shoulder: 'Don't need to worry. Just tell me, did he do somethin' else to ya, somethin' that I should know about?'

'No.' But I had hesitated too long.

'See, I know when ya lyin'. Come on, it can't be that bad, can it?' His voice was almost pleading with me now and I could swear there was some realisation in those eyes looking at me just then. Making my heart start to race in panic because Merle knew!

Well - he almost looked like he did. I wanted the bed to swallow me up whole, taking it all away – couldn't stand the flash of pity mixed with anger in his eyes – enough for a whole team of football hooligans. When he moved his hand down from my shoulder to my thigh, I couldn't help but inhale sharply and rest my own on top of it - just in case he wanted to let that hand wander into inappropriate-land. I turned my face away, at a loss at what to do, unable to believe that I suspected my brother of that. Or even wanting to do that. Must have been what Dad was doing to me.

My brother was an ass at times but he was nothing like Dad, was he?

At the same time, I was pissed at myself, Merle hadn't done anything to my sick suspicions about him. But having them in the first place was no wonder really. After all, most of the touches I got lately were bound to leave scars on the inside to match the ones on the outside.

I was no fool. I knew the things our father was doing to me were bound to damage me in more ways than one. Of course, I knew that. But I didn't want my brother to suffer for what that bastard did to me. Or let him turn me against him by putting sick thoughts into my head.

As I struggled with them, I stared down at his hand still resting on my thigh but not moving.

'Hey, look at me now, baby brother. Tell me what he really did. Go on.'

'Stop it. I…' My cheeks flushed red in embarrassment over my ridiculous reaction to a perfectly reasonable question and a harmless touch. He finally dropped his hand and hugged me to him as he could see me getting really upset.

'Sh, it's OK. It all jus' got the better of ya, huh? Lying there all night, trussed up like a Christmas turkey. I don't blame ya, little brother. Just tell me why he did he do it?'

'Does he need a reason? I don't know, he was jus' drunk off his rockers as usual. He didn't do nothin' really, jus' left me here all night.' I lied, mumbling into his chest.

'Don't really count bitin' ya as nothin', but all right. I'm still gonna kill him. Where is he anyway?' He growled.

'Dunno. Hope he stays the fuck away for a long time.' I snarled back.

He laughed again, ruffling my hair. 'That's my baby brother.'

'Jus' let me go take a piss and take a shower, will ya? Fuckin' burstin'.'

'Yeah, you do that. Then I'm gonna take ya out for a burger and fries. Maybe throw in a beer too if ya lucky.'

'Thanks, bro.' My face brightened and my empty stomach growled in anticipation.

As soon as he was gone, I got off the bed and looked down at the sheet. At what I didn't want my big brother to see. It was covered with our father's sticky leavings with my blood, more than I realised. He'd been very rough and had assaulted me again and again as soon as he got hard. I knew I stank of sex but probably Merle being with the two giggling girls only hours before, didn't notice. Still, I couldn't get the knowing and pitying way he'd looked at me out of my head. The way he'd kept asking me what else Dad had done other than tie me up. Like he'd guessed the truth.

With a sigh, I tore it off my bed, meaning to throw it in the wash as soon as I could. All I really wanted to do was to throw it out, or burn it. Either way would work just fine. Knowing we didn't have a lot of spare bedsheets, and that the bastard would notice one missing – he always noticed things like that - I scrunched it up tightly in my fist instead.

'Fuck you.' I snarled at no-one in particular as I stomped out of the room, taking the semen and blood-stained sheets with me.

I wondered why I still felt dirty even when it was tumbling around in the washing machine and I'd scrubbed myself raw with hot water and soap in the shower.

I felt like I would never get clean and my shame would always be written on my face.

Daryl

Merle was as obnoxious as only he could be over our burger and fries in the diner and typically didn't bother to keep his voice down. Didn't really matter, by the looks of things the other customers – mostly locals I saw - didn't pay us any mind – they'd seen and heard it all before. Merle continued with a huge grin all over his face: 'Ya hear us any? Were ya jealous of me with two hot babes demandin' my attention, both at the same time?'

I took a mouthful of milkshake just then and nearly spluttered. I could have taken that a very different way and I glared at him.

'Oh, ain't my poor baby brother gettin' any?' He crooned sarcastically while I scowled at him. He leaned towards me and whispered as if confidentially, 'When ya gonna get out there and fuck someone?' He sounded just like Dad!

I went red despite myself but not for the reasons he thought. As much as I loved my big brother, I hated him at that moment for his merciless teasing. And what he was teasing me about.

'Fuck you. Like I'd be jealous of those skanks from the bar. Ya better get yaself checked for STD's, Merle.'

He slapped me then - not so playfully - upside the head. 'And ya better watch ya mouth when ya speak to me, little Darlena.'

I grimaced at him, and took another sip of my milkshake, wishing my brother was a little more understanding. The slap hadn't hurt, and him teasing me about his girls last night, was just Merle being Merle. Boasting about his latest exploits for everyone to hear. He must have realised he'd had gone too far with me in my touchy mood as his face softened.

'Come on, hurry and eat up. I'll buy ya some beer from the store to take with us to make up for last night, OK?'

I nodded, deciding to accept his offer which I knew was meant to be an apology. Both for not saving me from Dad last night and for his tactless teasing just now. He'd opened his mouth without thinking first, as usual.

Pausing to chew my burger, I looked down at my wrists that he'd bandaged up, as well as my ankles before we left home. He'd insisted on it despite my protests that I was fine. It wasn't like I wanted to advertise the latest thing Dad had done to me. We didn't know where he was – he had apparently left the house after he'd showered and I fell asleep which made me suspect that he wanted my brother to find me like that. But why would he?

I shook my head, didn't have the energy to figure out what went on inside the head of someone as sick as my father.

Instead, I decided to enjoy the moment, I was free of him for now, and he wasn't messing with me.

Except the shadow of Carl Rogers spoilt things. I badly wanted to know if he was OK or at least alive. I thought about bringing him up but I knew that Merle would never tell me what he did to him just like he never told even Dad about what had happened to Mike.

Taking another bite and savouring the taste of the burger in my mouth, I scratched at the itchy bandages. Merle had said to leave them on just for a day and I'd worn my long-sleeved denim jacket and unfolded the long cuffs over them to hide them. Even though it was pretty uncool to do this. But being cool was the furtherest thing on my mind at the moment – I had worse things to worry about. Like my teacher.

I'd grown up a lot in the last year.