Chapter 61: The Hunted
Sorry again for the long delay – work has been really busy. Merle is getting closer and closer to finding out the truth – will he finally find out in this chapter?
Please leave a review if you can. It would make the author really happy.
Merle
'Daryl! Where are ya, you little shit!' I was woken up by the yelling and furious thundering footsteps running up the stairs. It was dark and I couldn't see and in my half-awake state, I assumed that it was a girl I'd brought back from the bar last night who was clinging onto me so tightly. I patted her down and myself and found to my surprise that we were both fully clothed.
'Daryl!' The old bastard screamed. 'I didn't give you permission to go to bed and leave me!'
'Fuck! Go away.' I groaned and buried my face in what I assumed was the girl's hair and tried to ignore my crazed father and go back to sleep. I glanced at the green digital readout of my alarm clock that told me it was only 0408 in the morning. I'd bought it with my own money and I thought it was pretty cool.
She – whoever she was - stirred uneasily in her sleep as he got closer and closer and I didn't blame her. Dad could be pretty scary even when you didn't know what he was capable of. But when I heard him fling open my brother's bedroom in rage, I sat up pretty quickly. I was ready to get up and intervene if things got too out of hand and switched on the beside lamp that I had also bought myself. Sure as hell, the asshole never bought us anything.
That's when he revealed himself and I remembered I had told him to sleep with me to protect him from Dad who was now bellowing at the top of his voice: 'DARYL!'
My brother was wide awake now when he heard the yelling ordering him to 'Come here or have ya run away again, ya little coward?' next door and he whirled away from me. By now, even in his no doubt still drunken and hung-over state, Dad had realised he wasn't in his room and there was some more crashing around. Just took him a little longer than usual. Both of us were hoping that he hadn't broken anything that belonged to my brother.
'N...no...' My brother looked at me pleadingly with fear in his eyes and grabbed me by the arms. 'Don't let him...'
'Sh...It's OK.' I pulled him back to me protectively as he cringed back when we heard him leave the bedroom next door and start coming our way. 'It's OK.' I repeated.
'Sh...' I shushed him again because he was still trembling like crazy. 'Won't let him near ya, relax.'
I wondered why Dad was so mad now and what did he mean he didn't give him permission? Since when did we have to ask him permission to go to bed and sleep?
Something wasn't right …The cogs started turning in my head.
That's when he burst in my room, abruptly stopping them. I glared up at him.
'What he fuck ya want?' I snarled. 'What's he 'sposed to have done now?'
'Fuckin' little coward.' He ignored me and bore down on Daryl as he glared at him but I shoved him behind me.
'Leave him alone. Maybe ya didn't hit him or whip him while I was gone doing ya dirty work but I know you hurt him some other way.'
Dad drew in a sharp breath at that the same time my brother behind me did and even retreated a step or two back from us.
'Ya told him?' He stared at Daryl behind me disbelievingly and dare I say it – with a little fear?
I felt something pass between them – some other meaning was being implied and I was missing out on something.
Something crucially important.
'Ya didn't, did ya, son? Dad mocked him and I swear I saw him eyeing my brother's body even though it was fully clothed. What the fuck?
I shook my head - I must have imagined it and put their strange exchange out of my mind. When Daryl didn't bother to answer, Dad sighed in relief. Nevertheless, I could sense Daryl eyeballing him scornfully and when I laid a hand on his thigh to reassure him, he was shaking like crazy but this time with rage instead of fear.
'Ya whipped me with ya belt, ya beat the shit out of me, ya cut me and burnt me before and I didn't do nothin' to deserve it! I fuckin' hate you and wish you were dead!' He suddenly yelled back at our father.
Dad gulped and passed a hand across his brow as if in distress as his eyes widened in shock. He even took a couple more steps backwards. Never in my life had I heard Daryl say such things to him no matter what he did - not even between the two of us and never to his face as far as I knew. Something told me then that Dad had taken it so far that he had even lost my brother's love.
And Daryl used to love him, I knew he did - must have done to forgive him every time he brutally punished him.
I could tell Dad was hurt and fuck knows why I cared but a little part of me that still loved him I guess pitied him a little. Still, he did his best to pretend he didn't care.
'Fine.' He sneered. 'Hate me as much as ya want and hide behind ya big brother. But remember – you're mine first and always will be and besides, he can't be around all the time.'
With that threat, he stormed out.
'You leave him the fuck alone or you'll have me to answer to, Dad!' I called out after him but too late. I guess I was still stunned at my brother saying something like to him although it was a wonder he hadn't long before.
'What did he mean by you're his first and always will be', Daryl?' I asked as soon as our old man was out of earshot.
He shrugged and looked like he did regret lashing out at our father like that – at least a little. 'Merle…ya don't know everythin'..' His voice trailed off and he looked down at the bed covers and his cheeks blushed furiously. Looked like he was ashamed to me but what did he have to feel shame about? Didn't he realise that nothing Dad had done to him was his fault?
I took his chin in my hand and tipped it up so he had to look at me. 'So, tell me. I know ya want to.' I kept my tone calm and gentle – playing tough cop all those times before had clearly not worked.
He pulled his head out of my hand and evaded my eyes. 'Can't. Ya have to see it for yaself, Merle.'
'See what?' I pressed.
'Merle…' He yawned and sank sleepily against me. I took his hint and put my arm around him and drew us back so that we were lying flat. I even let him lay his head on my chest and soothed his hair until he was nearly on the verge of sleep. When I thought he wouldn't notice, I slid my hand cautiously up his shirt. Told myself that I was only checking that the bruises and cuts on his stomach were healed but he grabbed my hand then and shoved it down back over his clothes. I prayed he was sleep enough not to remember the next day!
It was lucky he did because I wanted to do so much more! Like explore his skin all over if he let me but he would never do that and I felt like a complete shit for even wanting to. Especially when he was asleep - like a real pervert! I told myself that I wouldn't touch him anywhere I shouldn't but if he knew the things I wanted to do to him while he slept peacefully in my bed, he'd leave a hurry even if it meant risking being caught by Dad.
Daryl
He got me when I sneaked down to get a glass of water in the kitchen, of course. Probably, he'd had been waiting for me even though I had tiptoed down the stairs as silently as I could. He padded up behind me noiselessly while I was running the tap and yanked me to him.
I was to surprised to struggle at first.
'So, ya hate me and want me dead, do ya, son?' He drawled in my ear.
'No – I didn't mean that but you know what you've been doin' to me!' I did feel a little guilty for saying that to him, he was my father after all and he used to be a good one before Mama passed on.
'Oh, ya really hurt me, boy, ya really did. Why don't ya love me like ya used to?'
'Ya know why! I jus' said!' Now I started to struggle and he let me go.
'Drink ya water.' He crossed his arms.
Perplexed, I did as he bid while he watched me with a sardonic grin on his face while what felt like a huge ball of lead weighed down my stomach.
'Now, get up those stairs and put on ya clothes. Good walking shoes too 'cos we're going out to the cabin for a hunt, jus' like old times. Maybe I can get ya to love me again by doin' something we used to do before.'
I raised my eyebrows. Was he serious? Of course, I didn't believe him – knew he was up to something and would never let me off for what I said. Still, I decided to play along.
'Can Merle come?' I fluttered my eyelashes at him hopefully.
'Nah – sorry. Jus' you and me if we're gonna repair our father-son relationship.' My heart sank.
My forebodings grew and I didn't believe he really wanted to do that. It was impossible, anyway – he'd crossed a line he should never have with me. And he obviously didn't want my brother along.
As if he read my mind, he grabbed me by the back of my shirt and yanked me off the floor easily with one burly arm. 'Don't think about running upstairs to wake ya brother. I'm coming with you.'
Of course, he was.
He half- dragged me up the stairs by one arm and put his hand across my mouth so I couldn't call for Merle. I tried to bite him but he twisted my arm and yanked it up behind my back. I cried out in pain but he didn't let up and the message was clear. Apparently, he was still keeping his promise to my brother about not hitting or whipping me.
'OK, OK – I'll keep quiet.' I reluctantly gave in as the tears of pain sprung from my eyes.
'Good boy.' He petted me on the head like I was a child or a dog and released me. In my anger, I found myself wishing what I had said to him a few hours ago.
While I got dressed, the bastard deliberately lingered around just to watch, his greedy eyes drinking in my body. I turned around because I was still unable to mask the fear that I was so good at doing otherwise. When punishments didn't include sex with your own father, that was.
'Meet ya outside. Don't be smart now, don't go runnin' to ya big brother, he won't wake up. He sneered at me knowingly. 'Out like a light, I even tried slappin' him and he still didn't stir.'
When did he have time to do that – probably he was bullshitting me just to mess with my head? My stomach turned at this image. What if he had done something to my brother? At this thought, I suddenly felt the urge to go and check up on him. But was stopped by dad's hand against my chest, blocking my way.
'Where do ya think ya goin'?'
'Ya sure he's okay?'
'Ahh...' He crooned and stroked my cheek at my concern and I nearly tripped over my own feet when I couldn't back away from him fast enough.
'Ya all worried about him? Merle's sure lucky to have such a sweet and carin' baby brother. Yeah, he's all right, don't ya worry. 'Cos boy was always good at handlin' his shit. Now, quit stallin' and let's get a move on. Got a nice hunt planned for ya, father and son, jus' like old times, huh, boy?'
I shivered at that because there was something in his tone of voice.
I grabbed a pen and paper from the kitchen, as well as a banana on the way. I sure as hell wasn't going to go without leaving Merle a note and I shoved the banana in my mouth just to have something in my stomach while I was writing. I got down only a few words which I was smart enough to put in code and I hoped he would get it before he went out to get drunk or high. - You have to come to the cabin – there's a nice surprise waiting for you there. D.'
Hell yeah, there would be a surprise waiting for Merle if I planned it right, but not anything he would like.
But it felt good to start fighting back, doing something at last.
I knew I had to get him down there by piquing his curiosity otherwise the useless dumbass might not get his idle ass out of bed although he'd seemed sober enough when we were talking just before I fell asleep. Tried to get it out of me again and I had told him he needed to see. Besides, it was quite a trip to that cabin of ours.
Sure, my brother hadn't noticed much when Dad was at his worst but not physically hurting me. Especially as Dad had got bolder and bolder – he'd even slapped my ass a few days ago, commenting on how nice and firm it was right in front of Merle. Of course, he had reacted, but there wasn't much to it because Dad had laughed it off easily as a joke. Bastard could be very convincing and smart with his words when he wanted to be, damn him.
As we approached the cabin, he started to move in closer and closer to me. Despite me trying to keep as much space between me and him as possible. After a while as we reached deeper into the woods, I could tell he was searching for something. The realization made me nervous and unable to enjoy this nice little trip like I used to in the past with him and my brother. Not that I could then, anyway.
'I can tell you've noticed me searchin' for somethin', son. Go on, ask me what it is.' His grin was as wide as the cat's who go the cream.
I kept on walking with the fear rising in me, hoping that if I stayed quiet, he'd leave me alone.
'I said, ask me!' He suddenly barked at me, making me flinch because he was getting all impatient now. And it was never good to keep him waiting.
For anything.
Only a fool would ignore that tone which signaled swift and savage punishment if I didn't immediately comply – there were plenty of ways for him to make me suffer and not break his promise to Merle. So, without stopping, I asked him. 'What'cha lookin' for?'
Then the bastard was really too close for comfort, proving my instincts right. He suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me hard up against a tree and I felt the bark scraping at my thin shirt. I started to struggle in panic.
'Dad, no!' I cried but he just smirked sinisterly at me as he forced my arms to grab the lower thicker branches that were at the same height as my shoulders. Then he started to undo his belt from his pants to let me know what was coming – well, he wasn't going to whip me, I knew that and that left only one thing.
The usual thing.
'What ya doin'? Thought ya wanted to make me love ya again?' I snarled angrily at him as I tried to get away. He just shook his head at me, eyes bright with excitement.
'Don't give me that shit, boy. I do and I was lookin' for the perfect tree. For both of us. And it looks like I've found it.' His eyes twinkled merrily as he watched me, like he was expecting me to share the joke.
'Wha...what...'
'Don't worry, son. Ya in for a nice little treat.'
'Fuck you.' I spat at him. 'Get away from me!'
He laughed at that but didn't punch me of course but grabbed hold of my neck in a painful chokehold, swinging my feet off the ground. Thankfully, my grip on the branches eased my ability to breathe slightly. I quickly gave up struggling, it was no use. Would just make him madder and he'd end up hurting me more anyway.
His pants were soon down to his ankles as he also tugged mine off just as eagerly and threw them carelessly to the ground.
'Been staring at that cute little ass for almost a mile now.' He said over my shoulder. 'It's about time I rewarded myself for my restraint, don't ya think?'
'What restraint? Can't ya hold off until we reach the cabin?'
'Now where's the fun in that?' He got the lube out from his pocket, preparing himself as he stroked himself right in front of me while I could sense his eyes dancing all over my body, giving me goosebumps of revulsion. I looked away to distract myself, at the same time feeling the old, familiar disgust mixed with fear and rage boiling away in me deep inside.
'Look at me,' The fucker ordered and I didn't dare do anything else as I was in no position to be cocky.
'On the way, I had plenty of time to imagine what we were gonna do in my head. This idea was by far my favorite. Wanna hear the others?'
'No, I fuckin' don't! Ya sadistic piece of shit!'
'If I was sadistic, I would have left the lube at home, leaving me with only my spit to use. Would ya like to try that today, boy? Me fuckin' ya with nothin' to make it easier on ya?' I shook my head vigorously and looked down as I went red with shame.
'Yeah,' he sneered.' Didn't think so.'
I turned my head away and refused to look at him. He made me feel sick.
'I had plenty of time thinking of the different ways I could have my way with ya on the way over here. Have to admit, although you never believed my little lie about wantin' ya to love me again and rebuilding our father-son relationship, ya still had that spark of hope in your eyes.'
I goggled at him, unable to speak. It was true, I hadn't believe him – not really but for a minute there I had believed that he might change or go back to being 'nice' Dad and say he was sorry for all this shit. That he would make it up for me like he used to say.
'Truth is, I don't give a shit if ya hate me. You cheated on me with that little fag boyfriend of yours, you betrayed me!' His voice rose in a scream.
I shook my head. 'With who? Eric? Cheated on ya with him? Ya my father for fuck's sake! Shouldn't be thinkin' about me like that in the first place!'
He chuckled and when he finally started on me, I couldn't tell which pain was worse, him fucking me or that tree ripping my back into shreds. It didn't take long with only my thin shirt scraping against the rough bark of its trunk combined with the force of his vicious thrusts. Now I'd be bleeding from my back as well as from other places.
'Daddy! Stop!' I whimpered when I couldn't take any more and he did stop to my surprise. But only to grab me roughly by the neck to shake me like a dog. 'Shut up. Don't ruin this for me. Ya supposed to be enjoyin' yourself!'
But when he resumed again, he didn't do shit to make it any easier on me. He just kept on going even though my eyes were tearing up with the pain from my lacerated back. This was worse than the whipping with him punishing me deep inside as well.
I just wanted him to come as quickly as possible – to finish mauling me and the pain to be over. So, I started to do the shit to him that I knew he liked while feeling like a pervert myself - really like a whore, just to get him to orgasm quicker. Letting my lips brush up against his neck, as my hands wandered over his chest.
He stroked my hair affectionately in response to my reluctant caresses between his moans at this special treatment which I never gave him before.
'Ya good little boy, ya know what ya daddy likes, don't ya son?' I nearly gagged with the shame and humiliation at these words. But he still kept going – going without while Merle had me and doing it outdoors must have given him a new spark of inspiration. The novelty of all this when he barely went outside in daylight anymore added to his pleasure but also somehow made him last longer. Probably knowing that there was a risk – no matter how small, that we might be caught by dog walkers or fellow hunters only increased his excitement. I almost wished we would be then at least it would all be over. But not many people wandered so deep into these woods, but they did on occasion. Unfortunately, it was mostly only junkies or illicit lovers who came that deep into the woods to look for somewhere where secret to go where they wouldn't get caught.
While he violated me, I was just hoping but also dreading that the person to discover us would be my older brother.
'Fuck, ya so good. Still so fuckin' tight. Can't get enough of ya.' He drooled in my ear.
After a while, he didn't bother watching out for other people because he was too busy watching me while I tried to avoid looking at him as much as I could. It made it more bearable somehow. But each time I looked away I was rewarded with a hard slap to the face. His hands were roaming down my body, continuing to grope me roughly as I pleaded with him to just hurry up and fuck me. The bastard was a greedy son of a bitch.
Once he came, he stayed inside me while his hands cupped my face tenderly. 'So fuckin' beautiful, boy.' He hissed in my ear while I tried to kick him, but I was held down by his sheer bodyweight. Reminding me how small and helpless I still was and not able to fight back. No doubt his intention.
When he had recovered somewhat, he made a warning gesture with his hand – ordering me to stay put. Finally, he slowly, disgustingly slid out of me. I knew that he was deliberately prolonging the violation.
After he came out of me, I found that I was in no hurry to move anyway despite his proximity. I was simply in too much pain - both inside and out. Just lay there, gasping and panting.
'Ya know, I tell ya what. You're in no state to go out huntin' after our little love-makin'.' My father drawled and leered at me again, 'So, get ya sweet, hot little ass to the cabin and wait there for me.'
He handed me the key then, smiling when I flinched at the tiny movement he made with his hand. I don't know why he trusted me with it or why I didn't run away then except that he'd threatened my brother but surely Merle could take care of himself by now?
As if he could read my mind, he answered my question:
'There might even be some cans of food left. Run away, I'll find ya, ya know I will, boy. And it won't be pretty when I do.' He threatened. 'Can't beat me in the woods, boy – ain't no-one can track like me.' His final parting shot, 'And ya better remember that.'
'Got it.' I nodded my head obediently.
He left me there, as I stared after him. Like I wanted to eat anyway, I felt sick to my stomach as I picked up the rest of my clothes. My shirt was ruined – torn to rags. Pity – I liked that shirt – Merle had bought it for my last birthday and I cursed myself for wearing it today. But it gave me some comfort when I wore it because it came from someone who loved me and that was the main reason why I chose it. I grimaced at the familiar, disgusting feeling of his fluids slowly running out of me.
Why couldn't the bastard just come somewhere else? I knew why - I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt clean no matter how many times I showered and scrubbed. Often, even when I was alone, my face burned with shame. I walked towards a stream that I knew was nearby and cleaned myself up best as I could but only feeling marginally less dirty. No chance in hell was I going to put my clothes back on without washing first. Nevertheless, I could still feel his hands all over me – the places where he'd touched me were burning in stark contrast to the cool Autumnal wind which only increased my shivers as I half ran towards the cabin.
As soon as I got there, I ripped open the wardrobe, knowing I had some spare clothes inside. Hunting was a messy business most of the time and I couldn't be more grateful for my foresight as I quickly got out of the clothes I was wearing and changed into new, clean ones.
After a while I lit up a fire out of boredom, sat in front of it letting my mind drift away. Suddenly, the door opened behind me and I scowled furiously at the disruption of my rare peace and quiet. I didn't even turn around, knowing it was him but my heart leapt halfway up my throat in surprise as I was pulled backwards into a chokehold. But it was a playful one without the pain I was accustomed to and after a second or two of pure terror grabbing at my chest, I felt him rubbing my head with his hard knuckles. It was Merle then. I let myself breathe out in relief as released me and shoved me away from him.
'This betta be good, baby brother. Draggin' me out all this way when I got the mother of all hangovers. I could've been at home now, nursing my fucking head. For ya sake, I hope that's not the surprise ya got in store for me.' He pointed towards what remained of the cool dark blue and green shirt he'd given me that I was clutching in my hand.
I couldn't find my voice just then, and just shook my head.
'What's up?' He sat down next to me, looking me over, with an expression of growing concern. 'Why y'all wet? And what the fuck happened to that shirt I bought ya? Ya look like some animal got to ya and mauled ya all up.'
'Yeah – sorry about that – it's all Dad's fault and ya know it was my favorite. Anyway, ya should know that he has lost his fuckin' mind, bro. What was left of it – ya know he never had much in the first place. I need your help.'
'Dad did that to ya shirt? What? How?' His tone grew dark and his scowl deepened. 'What else did he do to ya? Let me see.'
I trembled – knowing that I couldn't put the things he did to me into words and on top of all this, I was expecting the bastard to walk in any minute. Whenever I tried to tell him, my throat thickened and it felt as if I was actually choking to death. The words would simply not come out.
He frowned when he noticed my frustration. 'Calm down, little brother. Things can't be that bad, can they?' He laid a comforting hand on the part of my shoulder where the bark had clawed at my skin, making me flinch away from the pain it caused. I stood up, suddenly needing more space between us. He'd got that determined look in his eyes, and I knew it would end up with him taking my shirt off just to get some answers.
He followed my move by getting on his feet, eyeballing me. 'What?' I said.
He looked at me in surprise. 'Right. Did he break his promise?' He growled in determination. 'Take ya shirt off and show me. I wanna see.'
'N...no.' He grabbed my arms then as I pushed him away.
'Look, I don't wanna to talk about it. I don't even know where to fuckin' start.'
My breathing picked up in its pace, making him tilt my face towards him. 'Look, calm down. I just wanna see what he's done to ya. That's all.'
'We don't got enough time for that shit, Merle. Ya can't let him know you're here…' I started to panic.
'Hey, just look at me. Ya can tell ya big brother, jus' what's he been doin' to ya, huh?'
'Won't do nothin' in front of ya. That much I know. Told ya, jus' have to see for yourself.' It felt like we had had the exact same conversation a million times before and would have it a million times again until either he caught Dad out or I could get up the courage to tell him the truth.
Frustrated, I moved back further to prevent him from grabbing me.
'What the fuck did he do to ya, little brother? Better answer me.'
'Fuckin' forget about it, Merle. Ya can have a look at home! Listen to me, now ya gotta hide! He's comin' back any minute now.' I gabbled, glancing fearfully towards the door of the cabin. 'Then ya can see.'
'See what?' I growled in frustration at his dimness. Hadn't he been listening to a damn word I told him?
But Merle took a few steps towards me. 'Fuck him, take off ya shirt and show me what he did.'
I sighed in defeat because he really was a stubborn asshole. But then we were Dixons. I couldn't move, dreading the pain of even doing this. 'He didn't hit me or whip me but I can't, ya have to watch us yourself.'
He frowned at this, turned me around carefully to lift up my shirt. I heard him hiss with a sharp intake of breath, especially when I flinched at that small movement but that was all. And I wondered what my back looked like. I still hadn't had a chance to look at it myself because if it shocked Merle – it had to be bad. Really bad, just like it felt and it had only healed from the whipping days before and now I had scars on top of my scars. I didn't know anything else that could shock my brother into silence.
When he finally snapped out of his stupefied state, he turned me around to face him. 'What the fuck did he do to ya? That ain't from no belt.'
'That's right. Now, you've seen what he did, ya happy now? Would ya get the fuck on with it and hide?'
'All right.' He agreed reluctantly.
I pushed him towards the wardrobe. 'Get in there, and don't come out until you've seen, OK?'
'Yeah, all right.'
I quickly looked around, sighing as I noticed his shoes.
'And take your fuckin' shoes with ya, bro. Don't want him to know that you're here, do we? Anything else you've left lying around ya can think of?' Merle shook his head, looking puzzled. 'Look, this will explain itself to ya. Jus' stay there and be quiet. Think ya can do that?'
'Yeah sure, just give me somethin' to drink, my throat and head is killin' me.'
After a while of panicked searching, I found an empty plastic bottle, washed it out and filled it with water and tossed it to him before I shut him in. I kicked the door for good measure to shut him up as he kept on babbling.
My ears were on high alert for any noise approaching from outside, and when I heard a twig snap, I kicked the wardrobe again. 'Shut up, Merle. Shut ya mouth and fuckin' shut it good.'
He giggled like a moron but did as he was told.
Soon the door banged open, and dad swaggered in. He looked over at my pile of wet and torn clothes that I had thrown in the corner, and then back up at me.
'Got ourselves a deer, boy. Big bastard too. That calls for celebratin' now don't it?'
His eyes locked onto something on the floor somewhere behind me, but I couldn't tell what. I instinctively stepped closer to the wardrobe. 'Had to clean that filth off of ya, huh?'
'Your filth, ya mean, ya sick bastard.' All I had planned really was hoping to goad dad into boasting about what he did to me so that Merle could hear it. Better still would be if he tried to rape me right in front of him.
