Week 7
Several days later, Peeta walked into work one morning and jumped as he realized he was definitely not alone in the bakery.
His panic did not subdue, however, to realize that it was not an intruder or axed murder moving around in the store room. In fact, it increased when he realized just who was in the bakery with him.
His mother stalked out of the little closet that held their supplies, frowning over the top of her glasses as she scribbled on pad of paper.
"Shouldn't the loaves already be rising?" she snapped, pulling her glasses off. "Your flour count is way off. Where are you buying it from again?"
Peeta had to exhale and blink a few times before heaving a sigh to answer her. "Mullvaney's. We liked the quality better, erm, mom, what are you doing here?"
"Inventory."
"Doesn't dad normally do that?"
She made a noise in the back of her throat and tucked her pencil behind her ear. Peeta glanced wryly at the back of her head and she moved through the back room of the bakery. Why she still insisted on coming down to the bakery once a year to 'help' with the inventory was beyond Peeta. He carefully tracked and managed everything personally on his laptop and didn't feel like he owed his mother any explanation about their inventory. The only time she acted interested in what was going on in the bakery was to tell Peeta and his father what they ought to be doing. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen here there actually helping with the family business.
"I can't trust the two of you to keep things straight around here. And why are things all moved around? Nothing is where it used to be."
"Mom, I do most of the baking now so I've moved things around," Peeta answered, sharper than he'd meant to. Yanking his apron off the hook, he hastily tied it on and moved to the coffee pot to pour a cup of the steaming liquid. It was hot, hotter than he'd prefer, and the bitter liquid was ten times more potent as he remembered how his mother liked her coffee. Cringing, he put the cup on the counter and tried to ignore her as she continued to take stock of all the changes he'd made in the past year or so since she'd been down to the bakery. His ears only halfway listened as she moved through the storefront, making a noise of aversion in the back of her throat at each new discovery. Peeta rolled his eyes and moved to the back of the shop, flipping on the ovens and gathering his freshly cleaned materials out of the industrial dishwasher they'd installed the year before. As a kid, he remembered countless hours of handwashing dishes and pans and rolling pins, tediously scrubbing all of the tools used during the day. He'd grinned for a week when they'd finally installed a dishwasher and no amount of his mother's bothersome remarks would sully that.
Maybe I'll make cinnamon rolls today, he thought, his mind automatically thinking of Katniss. He could still remember the contented moan she'd made when tasting one of the rolls from the counter that day she'd come in with Gale. Now that he knew they weren't a couple, the memory of that morning was no longer tainted with sadness for him. Instead, he focused on the memory of her gleefully devouring something he'd made with his own two hands. For some reason, it felt a little more….allowed now, to think about things like that. The discovery that Gale was just a friend had changed…well, he wasn't sure what it had changed, but he felt like a huge weight was off his shoulders, that was for sure.
What are you going to do? Waltz into that gym and ask her out? No, so why does it matter?
Leaning on the back counter, he wrinkled his nose as he realized the nagging voice in his mind had same tone of his mother. Add it to the list of reasons to be annoyed with her, he realized.
So Katniss was single, as far as he could tell. But what did that change? Anything? He wasn't sure. He just knew he felt a lot better that she wasn't dating the tall, sculpted, self-assured Gale. In Peeta's mind, Gale was everything he wasn't. But if she didn't want someone like Gale, why would she ever go for anyone like him?
His thoughts drifted as he thought about the way she'd looked a few days ago, sitting with him as they enjoyed their smoothies. While he wasn't one to leer at women, he had to fight himself not to notice for the hundredth time the way her Panem Fitness uniform clung to her curves and emphasized her strong, slim form.
"Well?"
His mother's voice cut through his thoughts.
Peeta nearly dropped one of the stainless steel mixing bowls he was preparing to use, turning in surprise.
"What?"
His mother frowned. "I've been talking to you. I asked why you haven't been to Sunday dinner."
Not expecting her question, he opened his mouth like a fish before closing it. "Uh…just been busy."
She raised an eyebrow, her dark eyes both surprised and calculating. "You?"
He nodded, turning around, away from her scrutinizing gaze. "Yes."
He heard her moving around behind him. The tension in the room grew thick as he knew she was waiting for more of an answer than the simple word he'd given her.
"No work after hours, no wife, no children….what on earth could possibly keep you busy?"
Peeta's jaw clenched once and he turned, shooting her a dark look over his shoulder. "Guess I just have better things to do. You're always telling me to get a life, so….I guess I did."
Her shocked silence made him practically snicker to himself.
"Delly's coming in today to help me with some special orders. She'll be here soon," he added with a little grin.
His mother's mouth snapped closed, and she gave a soft grumble before grabbing her clipboard and practically stomping into the back storage room. Once she was gone, he allowed himself a private little smile.
"Bye!" he singsonged quietly to himself. Nothing annoyed his mother more than her rancorous relationship wither daughter in law. Whenever she tossed a barb at Delly, Delly would use her Southern charm to backhandedly toss it right back to her. Peeta was pretty sure she hadn't known what to think about Delly for a good six months when his brother brought her to dinner. Yes, his sister in law could weave a web of passive aggressive quips and Southern witticisms, all delivered in her honeyed voice and topped with a sweet smile that never quite reached her eyes. If anything would ensure his mother's hasty departure that morning, it would be the arrival of Delly Mellark.
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When Peeta hit his twenty pound weight goal the following week, Katniss reacted by shocking the hell out of him. (Not that he minded – in fact, he found that one of the things he admired the most about Katniss was her ability to say or do the complete opposite of what he'd expect from anyone else.)
She looked up at him over her clipboard and grinned before glancing around the gym.
"Twenty pounds," she sighed happily.
"Twenty pounds," he echoed back, not quite believing it himself. Her wide grin and bright eyes were contagious – he soon found himself grinning right back at her.
"Would you be open to getting out of here for the afternoon?"
His eyebrows rose as he stepped off the scale, but he nodded with interest. Call her overly confident, but she'd had a sneaking suspicion he would meet his goal that day and she had arranged for Gale's help in getting them out of the gym for a change. Was it technically time theft if she was still with her client, working out? Probably, but she wasn't going to dwell on it too much. She'd had enough of Crane's creepy glares and lingering glances and figured it was owed to her to take an afternoon and spent it outside with Peeta. The spring weather was just starting to shift into the balmy hot days of summer and she wanted nothing more than to spend it outside before it became too hot to think.
And, if she was being completely honest with herself, she wanted to know what it was like to be in Peeta's company outside of Panem Fitness.
Glancing across the gym, she met Gale's eyes. He gave her quick nod before ducking into the hallway with Crane's office. Gale had volunteered to make up an issue with his timecard to distract their manager from glancing at the monitors all over the gym. Peeta watched the exchange with amusement, a much different feeling than he was used to feeling when Gale was involved.
"I'm going to slip out the back door and I can meet you on the side of the building in five. You can just go out the front, and I'll meet you, deal?"
"You won't get in trouble, will you?"
"Such a rule follower," she snorted, giving him a light shove. His cheeks reddened only slightly as he fought back a laugh and instead nodded good naturedly. Giving him one last grin, she shook her head and watched as he was suddenly unable to look her in the eye.
"It'll be fine!"
"Fine, fine," he bobbed his head and started to walk away, glancing at her several times over his shoulder.
She held his gaze a little too long and gasped when Peeta bumped into another person after not watching where he was going. Adorable klutz, she caught herself thinking.
"Shit," she muttered, realizing who he'd collided with. It was one of their regulars, a ridiculously built guy named Gloss, who was with his sidekick, Marvel. She swore those two lived at the gym and did nothing lift weights and talk incessantly about their protein powders and Instagram followers. Neither was known for being particularly mannerly, and she watched, helpless, as Gloss's face lit up with annoyance at the minor bump.
"Hey, watch it, tubs!" he sneered, tossing Peeta a dirty look.
Peeta's hands went up and his face reddened almost instantly.
"Sorry, I…wasn't watching…"
"Damn right you weren't. Watch where you're walking!" he sneered over his shoulder. To make matters worse, Marvel added insult to injury by puffing out his cheeks and making motions to the front of his stomach as if he had a huge stomach. She could hear them both snickering, echoing "tubs" all the way to the locker room. Peeta met her gaze across the distance and gave her a small shrug before turning and pushing through the doors of the gym.
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After sliding a loose workout tank top over her uniform, she slipped out the backdoor and into the alley before hurrying to the side of the building, still seething. How dare they talk to Peeta that way! What a shitty thing to say to someone! Someone already in a gym! Her thoughts raged as she made her way down the alley behind Panem Fitness. The heat of the late afternoon sun was a stark contrast from the air-conditioned, purified gym air.
It didn't matter that he was at the gym. He could have been anywhere – in a school, at his job, a grocery store, or just walking down the street.
No one deserved what Peeta had just gotten.
Especially someone as kind as Peeta, she thought.
"Peeta!" she grabbed his shoulder, making him jump. Turning, he squinted into the sun a little.
"Hey."
"Are you alright?" she asked frantically, gripping his shoulders. His eyes went a wide before giving her a quizzical look.
"Yes?"
Katniss growled to herself, so angry she wanted to kick the outside wall of the gym with her foot. "Those guys are such dicks."
A look of recognition flashed on his face and he chuckled wryly. "Oh, that?"
"Yes! I can't believe…I mean….you shouldn't-they're so-"
Ripping her hands from his shoulders, she grasped her head and felt like she wanted to pull her own hair out. She was so angry she almost couldn't even get the words out of her mouth. Rage had bubbled up inside of her and was now overflowing out onto the street where they stood. She was seething.
"Katniss," he replied, his voice calm and steady, placing his hands gently on her shoulders, "It's alright."
She made a noise that sounded like she was being strangled. "No, it's not alright! It's not alright in any universe, Peeta! I want to go back in there and find the biggest dirty, sweaty towel I can find and just whip the crap out of both their faces! And then maybe haul off and kick them both in the nuts. Those jerks! How could they say something like that-"
Peeta's eyebrows shot up, but he let her continue her rant, patiently watching her. The only thing that finally made her cease her sailor-like tirade was the look on his face. He looked like a basset hound puppy being scolded. She simply needed to shut up.
Closing her mouth, she felt suddenly stupid for her childish rant. Peeta looked far from bothered by it, and if she was being completely honest with herself that was what made her upset all over again.
Leaning against the scratch brick building, she watched him as he calmly lowered his hands and rested them nonchalantly on his hips. He'd gotten a haircut several weeks ago, and it was just starting to grow longer and slightly shaggy how she liked. The ends of the blonde wisps were slightly out of place by the end of the day, and she briefly wondered what his hair felt like.
Startled, she blinked.
His face morphed from one of concern into mild interest.
"You done?" he asked, as if that wasn't the first tantrum of hers he'd seen. His patience riled her slightly, but not in the same way Gale tended to when he was teasing.
"I think so," she stated, taking a deep breath. Straightening, she looked up at him.
"How can you take that?"
"Where do you want to go?" he ignored her question, turning to glance up the street. Katniss huffed in frustration.
"Why are you not bothered by it?" she pressed again, entirely expecting Peeta to finally snap and explode on her. That's what Gale did, anyway, when she pressed and poked at something unpleasant that he didn't want to discuss anymore. His face would get all screwed up and he'd yell at her for not leaving it alone and then be sour for an hour or two.
But that was Gale, she realized.
Peeta wasn't Gale.
"Did you want to walk this way?" he motioned up towards the center of town, and she shook her head.
"Let's….let's go towards the nature reserve."
They walked in silence for a few minutes away from the gym, heading east of town towards the park. It was a beautiful park and she would often go there for early morning runs when she felt so inclined. Tucked away on the edge of town, the property was often quiet in the mornings and perfect scenery to keep her thoughts serene and her pace strong. The long, rambling walkways of the well-manicured park bled into a nearby nature reserve with miles of trails and walking paths weaving between the tall, natural grasses, flowers, and occasional marshy area.
The quiet between them wasn't awkward, but she felt her insides twisting with anxiety. While she felt a little foolish for exploding like that, she was still angry and hurt, if she was being honest. It turned out that the injustice of cruelty was almost as difficult to bear when it happened to someone else, not just her. She sighed and kept walking. Finally, he spoke.
"I….I guess I'm used to that."
His voice was quiet, but steady. She looked at him and tried not to frown.
"That's terrible."
Peeta shrugged again. "Katniss, if I let every guy in my life who's called me fatty or tubby or lard ass I'd go crazy. It's not to say that it doesn't bother me, it does, but….it's not the first time it's happened, and it's certainly not the last. It's just…not worth getting worked up about."
She put one foot in front of the other as they walked along the paved path through the park, but it was like she was there in the gym all over again. Ugly words swirled in her mind. Her face grew hot.
"It's not fair," she muttered angrily. Her voice softened as they walked, and she shook her head. "You'd think I'd realize by now that life isn't exactly fair," she grumbled.
Peeta laughed wryly. "No, it isn't. I want to get upset, but…what good would it do?"
"You're strong…and sensible."
"Appealing qualities," he laughed sarcastically. "I'm just…gonna keep doing what I'm doing at the gym, with you, and…maybe someday…way in the future…I won't have deal with all that," he motioned with his hand, his face twisting slightly.
"You're going to do it, Peeta. You've already lost twenty pounds!"
"I think you and I both know I need to lose twenty pounds. Then there's the delightful task of keeping it off. But I can't worry about that, you know? It's in the past and I'm not even going to let it bother me. I'm more worried about getting through dinner and not eating everything in sight," he chuckled.
"You're really very sensible about all of this," she mused. "How can you be so calm?"
He thought a moment, then shrugged, "I guess it's like I said – I can't change the past, so what's the use in worrying about it? I don't know what's going to happen in the future and that's just too daunting anyway, so…I guess I just figure I'm taking things an hour at a time. And for this hour…I'm here with you," he added, flashing her a smile.
Katniss felt her stomach do a weird little nervous flop. Peeta had a kind, sweet smile that felt so real and unassuming. She liked it.
"Yeah, well…I still wish you'd let me go back there and punch the shit out of them."
Peeta snorted, the laugh bubbling out of his chest. "Well, then you'd likely be out of a job and I'd still be fat and without a trainer, so where would that leave us?"
She stopped short, Peeta walking ahead a few paces before realizing she'd stopped. His sneakers scuffed the pavement as he turned to look at her. Katniss stared at him, still feeling hot but in an entirely different way she wasn't terribly familiar with. She couldn't blink as she looked at him, standing there ten feet in front of her, and she realized she didn't want to. The afternoon sun was behind him, and it shone through his hair that was now curling slightly on the ends. His kind, bright eyes watched her watch him, blinking slowly as the grin he wore slowly faded. Now that he was down a few more pounds the outline of a strong jawline had somehow become his most prominent feature besides his eyes. Did he still have weight to lose? Of course, but she could have cared less. Instead, all she could think about was the way this was the first time she'd seen him with slightly blond stubble on that strong jaw and wonder what it might feel like against her cheek. Would he taste like the sugar and cinnamon that always seemed to linger on his skin after a day of work?
"Katniss?"
She blinked owlishly, and Peeta took a shaky breath. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her – sure, that had been humiliating back there, but it was humiliating in a way he was entirely familiar with. People had shamed him for being overweight his entire life, whether in a passive aggressive way like his mother or a crude, crass way like the guys at the gym minutes ago.
"It doesn't matter."
He watched her clench her jaw, her grey eyes sparking back to life.
"You're wrong," she muttered, walking towards him. Turning, he fell into step with her and they continued their walk. The conversation was a bit stilted after that, but he honestly didn't mind. Just being in her presence was enough for him and he wasn't about to pretend like he didn't look forward to it every other day. His time at Panem Fitness had been tumultuous no doubt, but he found that Katniss being his trainer helped immensely. Hell, he practically looked forward to paying for his membership that second month. He'd never met anyone like her before and the fact that she wanted to actually spend time with him outside the gym was enough to make him completely smitten.
"Are you okay?"
"What? Oh….yes. I….get worked up and then usually exercise calms me down," she admitted.
Peeta laughed. "I'm the same way, only replace exercise with pizza and cupcakes."
"Sounds amazing."
"Said the trainer."
She gave him a playful shove, her stern demeanor cracking. "I still eat! Gosh…." She groaned dramatically, rolling her eyes. "My real diet is called 'broke'!"
Peeta eyed her. "Seriously?"
Katniss felt her cheeks grow a little hot again as her confession hung in the air. She'd said it in jest, but it wasn't truly a joke. Being broke and hungry was something she'd really only ever discussed with Gale.
"Yeah, um….after my mom passed, things were horrible. Gale tried to help us, but he had his own issues."
"Does he have a big family?"
"Too big," Katniss replied, raising her eyebrows. "in my opinion, for whatever it's worth. I love his brothers and sister, just…whole lotta mouths to feed s'all."
"That would be really hard," he agreed.
"It was. Is. Whatever. My mom, she…when she went, that left us on our own and I had to really hustle to keep Prim. The state fought to try to get her into a foster home, something more stable with a real adult. I had to prove I could keep her, so…part time jobs all over the place, working constantly, trying to keep her fed….I definitely went without a few more times than I could count. But it's really okay, she always had food. Between school lunch programs and what I could bring home from whatever diner I was working on the midnight shift, we got by."
"Wow," Peeta mused softly, chancing a look at her. "How old were you?"
She was far off as they walked, her eyes set on the tree line in the distance.
"My mom drove into a telephone pole when I was eighteen. I don't think she'd been sober since my dad had died…not even six months later."
"I'm so sorry," he offered meekly, sneaking a glance at her. Her eyes were still far away, but she shrugged.
"She wasn't happy here without him, so…"
"Still. Couldn't have been easy on you."
Peeta listened as she seemed to unload about her life – the death of her parents, her mother's alcohol problem, and what it was like trying to keep Prim when she was eighteen. On and on she rambled, telling him funny stories about the house she shared with Effie and Haymitch. Peeta watched her as they walked, their trek taking them around the park a second time as the afternoon sun sunk lower in the sky. She would laugh about how much she was rambling, but he'd peppered her with questions about her childhood, her sister, and everything about her life that seemed appropriate to ask. He found himself completely captivated as she spoke, hanging on her every word as she talked with her hands and even gave him a few of the hoarse gut laughs of hers he'd grown to adore. The conversation wound its way back to her current career of choice, and Peeta silently thanked whatever cosmic power that had pushed him into the gym that day to meet her.
"I guess I just never understood how some people got to be so….naturally slim and eat whatever they wanted," Peeta lamented, wiping some sweat from his brow.
She snorted. "Yeah, but I find the people that don't have to work for it are also the worst kind of people. Like Gale. He makes everything look easy, sometimes I hate him for it."
He fidgeted as they walked, shrugging. "You seem to like Gale."
Katniss laughed. "I forget you don't know him that well. He's my best friend, but sometimes I think he's a few crayons short of a box."
"Nice way to talk about your best friend," he chuckled, shaking his head. Katniss guffawed again, giving him another light shove.
"I'd say that to his face, whatever! He knows how I feel – heck, I make fun of him all the time for being an adorkable ditz. He's an amazing person and one of the hardest workers I know. Charismatic and funny and loves his siblings but….sometimes I do tease him and tell him it's a good thing he's pretty."
They both burst into laugher at that, and he marveled at how easy it was to laugh with her.
"Staying active was my thing. Half of it was having so many jobs I felt like I never got to even sit down, and half of it was not having any damn money. Crap food is practically the only thing you can get cheap, too….so not only do you have to be poor, you have to eat horribly to boot," she laughed darkly. "That's why when we got this house we rent, I started a little garden for us. It's not much, but it's like free food and we've definitely used it to stretch a few paychecks."
"That's really smart," he nodded. "I've always wanted to garden, but…I live in an apartment now, so…"
"Well if you ever get a house, consider me your master gardener!" she broke out of seriousness, turning to grin at him. He laughed at her statement, but somehow the thought hung with him for the rest of the evening after his walk with Katniss. What would it be like to own a house? Did she mean it when she'd offered to help him plant a garden? He'd thought about buying a house before, but had always put it off. What use did a single bachelor who did nothing but work and hibernate on his couch need with a yard and a house?
I'm not that person anymore, he reminded himself. I'm not putting my life on hold anymore just because I'm overweight.
They'd eventually made their way back to the gym, looping around the park another time before heading back. The sun was low in the sky and it was well past five when he finally climbed into his car and drove towards home. According to the step tracker on his phone, he'd logged over seven miles that day by the time he finally stepped into the shower. Once clean, he'd put on his pajamas and flopped into bed, barely realizing he'd not had his normal cravings to snack when he'd gotten home. The feeling of spending the afternoon talking with Katniss was a hundred times better than any stupid cupcake, he realized with a grin.
Hey all! Hoping everyone had a great holiday! Please excuse the slow updates, I know some of you have messaged me asking when the next update would go up...all I have to say is that your patience is appreciated. I've always been a night-writer but lately that seasonal depression has hit me hard and I am struggling with it. I still have tons of plans and great things for this fic though, so I'm trying to push through it and find my motivation. Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you are staying warm and entertained on this wintery evening! (We just had about a foot of snow dumped on us!)
