Week 7
There was a time that Peeta thought seeing the numbers moving on the scale would be the highlight of his weight loss. He would have been wrong – something better than seeing the numbers decrease was actually getting acknowledgement from someone he didn't see every week.
He'd been asked months ago to serve as a groomsman in his childhood friend Thresh's upcoming wedding. The time had come to get fitted for a tuxedo, and he was glad he'd put it off as long as he had, for when he gave his normal measurements to the man behind the counter, he'd simply frowned over his glasses and shook his head as if Peeta was nuts. Utterly confused, he'd waited patiently while the clerk went to go fetch a tux for him to try on. Thresh had arrived at the store minutes later and was instantly surprised.
"Peeta! Man, you look awesome! What have you been up to?"
"Just working, same old," Peeta grinned, pulling his friend into a hug.
Thresh cocked his head at him and frowned. "You losing weight? There's like…less of you," he chuckled, squeezing his arms.
Peeta gave him a playful shove and shrugged. He'd told his dad and brothers about his weight loss attempt, but perhaps it was time to tell someone else? He mulled the idea silently for a moment as Thresh grinned at him, waiting for an answer. They'd been friends since grade school, and so Thresh knew all about Peeta's mother, their family dynamic, and had sat through more than one awkward Sunday dinner with the Mellark family. Chewing his lip, he shrugged.
"I maybe joined a gym. Finally time to drop all that weight I gained after college…and during college..." he shrugged, chancing a look over at Thresh.
His friend nodded. "It's workin' for ya man, you look great! Family supportive and all that?"
"Ah, well…I haven't really talked to my mom about it. Actually kinda avoiding her, believe it or not."
Thresh's jovial smile drooped, and he bobbed his head. "I believe it."
Peeta smiley wryly and inhaled deeply. "I just…didn't want to hear it from her if I failed, you know? I just didn't want the lecture and her….normal….ulgh," he shook his head.
"Hey man, I get it. I've been on the receiving end of that Mellark snark more than once since we were kids. You do you and let that mother of yours worry about herself. You look good though, for real."
"Yeah, I'm actually not dreading this as much as I thought I would," Peeta's mood lifted, thinking of the way his clothes continued to loosen. He was using holes on his belts he'd never even tried before as his work khakis got roomier and roomier.
Thresh was getting married in a week's time and his fiancé had opted for traditional suits with black ties, and Peeta was glad for it as he'd surveyed all the colors lining the shop. Black would definitely be his best bet as it was the most slimming option he could see in the store.
Peeta filled Thresh in on the last few weeks of his life as they tried on pants and button down shirts. As the clerk had suggested, he was now several sizes down in pants and even his neck size was different when he went to try on dress shirts. As he turned and glanced at himself in the mirror, his mouth opened a little. He looked good. Well, better than he thought he would have in tux. The fit was flattering, the dark material working to taper and hide some of his insecure areas – mainly his stomach and sides.
He didn't look bad at all.
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He was still floating on a high from the tuxedo fitting when he went home that afternoon and sat down to pay his bills and get himself organized for the week. He was skipping another Sunday dinner with his family, but he figured his mother knew he was still irritated with her after their interlude at the bakery the other morning when she'd lectured him about the way he'd organized the inventory. Why does she even care? It's not like she spends tons of time there anyway…
Shuffling to his fridge, he pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the cap before settling down at his kitchen table to get started. The late afternoon breeze was cooling down and he knew he'd better go take a walk when he was done with this. He'd learned that he struggled the most with food in the times when he was bored or idle, and so he'd taken to walking more and more in the early evenings to keep his cravings at bay.
Looking over his bank statement, he slowly began to realize that he was spending a lot less money. While he'd discovered eating healthy wasn't really cheap, the money he was saving from not constantly ordering takeout was putting less strain on his wallet than ever before. His conversation from the other day with Katniss popped into his head. What would it be like to own a house? The idea had always been in the back of his mind –he hated paying rent to his landlord and never seeing that money again, and a house would keep him busy. Glancing over his finances, he did a rough estimate of what he could collect for a down payment from here or there and mentally tallied it up. It was doable if he picked something small and maybe in need of some fixing. Mind made up, he put on his sneakers and set out to the gas station at the end of the street to get one of those newspapers with all the houses for sale.
Things were looking up.
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Things were not looking good.
Letting out a frustrated grunt, Katniss slammed the pen down on the kitchen counter, only to pick it up again and start obsessively clicking the end of it. Prim, who was lounging on the opposite side of the table, glanced up from her book. Even with the box fan humming in the window, their small kitchen was already roasting and it was only early June. The tips of Prim's ears and her cheeks were pink with heat and Katniss' thighs were sticking to the vinyl seat of the kitchen chair. She'd been poor all her life, but functioning in extreme heat never got any easier.
"You know how I told you that I didn't need you to work this summer?" Katniss winced slightly.
Pulling her feet off the windowsill, her sister sat up. "Want me to pretend I didn't hear it and take the lifeguarding job at the pool?"
"Could you?" Katniss asked, giving her sister a pleading look.
"You know I can. How bad is it?"
"Not bad. Just had to skim off a few bucks from savings, and I hate doing that in case something falls to shit, ya know?" she sighed and added under her breath, "Because it usually does."
Prim nodded. "I'll call in morning to see if they need help again this summer. All the good shifts might be taken already, but maybe I can get a job waitressing or something?"
As much as she hated the idea of her little sister waiting tables, the tips would be much better than a flat rate at the pool. But then, when she thought of all the times she'd had her ass 'accidently' grabbed by handsy patrons after too many beers, she shook her head. "No, just call the pool in the morning. See if that works, and if not…we'll think of something. Crane just refuses to let anyone work anymore than they have to because he's cheap and doesn't want to pay overtime, but shit would that be nice…"
"I'll call the pool," Prim assured her with a nod. She put down the large textbook she was reading for her summer class and shuffled across the sticky linoleum floor to root around in the freezer for another ice pop.
"Any grape ones left?"
"Uhh, yeah."
The sugary ice pop felt cold in her hand and tasted amazing as she chewed lightly on the plastic. While she would have loved to turn on the air conditioning, their big old house they rented would have cost them a fortune to try to keep cool all summer. They settled for window units in each of their bedrooms but it was going to be a long, hot summer of cold showers before bed and stuffing her pillowcases in the freezer for an hour before she went to sleep.
A car door slammed in the driveway, but she realized she didn't hear anything after that. Haymitch's truck was still parked in front of the house, so that meant it had to be Effie. Normally she would hear the sound of Effie's tacky high heels clacking up the side stairs to her upstairs apartment, but there was only silence. Frowning, Katniss went out the side door and saw Effie, standing beside her old teal Ford Tempo with her arms around herself. Her normally silly, jovial neighbor looked…shaken.
"Effie?"
She jumped, looking up.
"What's that now?" she answered, her voice strained and confused.
"Effie," Katniss repeated, louder. Her neighbor looked up at her on the side steps and blinked. Both women jumped when Haymitch shifted in the lawn chair a few feet away, neither having noticed him. A cigarette was dangling in his fingertips. He was still in his work uniform, but he had a beer beside him and a wet handkerchief draped across the back of his neck.
"What's wrong with you, woman?"
Effie straightened, trying to smile at them both, but it was clear something had happened to have her so shaken. She leaned back against her car and looked up at Katniss with blank eyes.
"My…ex left a message with the salon last night. Said I was a terrible person and I….and that I couldn't be trusted. He…he said I'd stolen thousands of dollars from my old job and that I couldn't be trusted to not do it again!" she wailed miserably, her voice breaking. Katniss's jaw dropped open, and Haymitch stood quickly, causing them both to jump. His blue eyes were unfocused, but not more so than usual.
"What else did he say?" his voice was low and even, despite his bleary gaze.
Effie didn't seem to notice that Haymitch was actually speaking to her, and instead ran a hand against the sides of her teased hair, causing the already tangled mess to flatten against her sweaty temples. Her hands shook as she spoke.
"He warned my boss to fire me, fire me immediately before I robbed her blind."
"That all?" Haymitch sneered.
Effie nodded miserably, but looked up at Katniss.
"Katniss…"
Katniss knew what that meant for Effie, who'd left in the middle of the night after her ex-husband had beaten her black and blue in a drunken rage. She'd waited until he'd passed out before loading up a few prized possessions into her car and leaving town. She'd only had enough gas to make it two states over, but they'd thought that was far enough. Almost two years had passed since then, but his anger certainly hadn't subdued.
"He knows where you are," Katniss uttered quietly, meeting Effie's gaze.
Her upstairs neighbor nodded, her lip quivering before she erupted into another round of sobs. The screen door banged softly as Prim stepped outside, her innocent face drawn with concern. Neither sister had forgotten the varying shades of purple and blue Effie's face had been when she'd first moved in. Katniss had never seen someone so beat up in her life. Effie's pretty pale skin had taken weeks to morph into the sallow looking greens and yellows the signified healing was underway. Katniss knew his accusations were crap. Besides being unfailingly open and kind, her upstairs neighbor certainly wasn't living like a woman who'd stolen thousands of dollars and run away with it. No, she didn't believe that for a second.
"That's bullshit," Katniss growled, shaking her head. "He had no right."
"But he did! He did, he…." Effie trembled in the late afternoon heat, her pale complexion splotchy from crying.
Prim stepped forward, her innocent face drawn into a glare. "We won't let him hurt you again, Effie."
If she heard her, Effie barely registered it as she leaned against her teal car, picking absently at a spot of rust.
"I was so careful to hide, I…"
"Come inside, Katniss urged, nearly tripping over her feet on her way down the stairs. She could still feel the way Effie was shaking when she grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. Haymitch merely stood there and frowned, looking like was deep in (drunken) thought. She didn't have the energy to deal with that today, she thought, and ushered her upstairs neighbor inside and gently pushed her into a kitchen chair closest to the box fan whirring in the window. Haymitch was still standing in the side yard, looking like he was just the perfect amount of drunk and angry. Turning, he turned and gave a swift kick to the old coffee can that housed his cigarette butts.
"Will you make sure he's not going to do something stupid?" Katniss muttered to her sister, who nodded solemnly. It wouldn't be the first time Prim had sneakily taken Haymitch's keys.
Pressing a cold glass of water into Effie's still shaky hands, she sat at the chair across from her and waited.
"Did you steal that money?" she asked, watching as Effie took a long sip.
Her blonde head shook resolutely as she looked at Katniss with worried eyes. "Of course I didn't! I…I left in a hurry, I didn't give no notice, but I didn't take anything! Not a thing, Katniss, I swear it!"
"I believe you," she muttered, taking the glass and tossing the water down the sink. Instead of refilling it, she opened the freezer and reached for a box of waffles in the back. It was empty, but housed a small bottle of semi-decent vodka. Pouring her a decent size double shot, she wordlessly handed it to Effie who downed the clear liquid, giving her a nod of thanks.
The side door opened. Prim slid inside, and met Katniss's eyes from across the kitchen as she placed his keys on top of the rickety plant stand in the corner.
"What should we do next?"
"Run upstairs to Effie's place and make sure it's locked up. Close all the windows we have that someone could reach from the yard, and no more leaving any doors unlocked, yeah?"
Prim nodded before hurrying off with her tasks. Katniss sat back down at the table and looked at Effie. They were quiet, both women deep in thought for several minutes. Katniss just hoped she had enough vodka to calm Effie's nerves and wished she hadn't had to pawn her father's old hunting rifle years ago.
"Would he come here?"
Effie's eyes filled with tears as her chest heaved with shaky breaths. There was a drawn out pause before she spoke.
"…..I don't know."
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Peeta was still feeling motivated after work the next day. He'd used his downtime at the bakery to research a few houses he'd circled in the ads, and was feeling pretty good about his chances of actually being able to purchase one. He wasn't sure why he was so upbeat about it – he knew he'd be moving into it alone, but it somehow felt like it was a step in the direction of his dreams of someday having a family of his own. He thought about what that might look like as he iced the sugar cookies – a customer favorite – and covered them with the playful rainbow sprinkles. What would it be like to mow his own lawn at the end of a hot summer day? To fix a jammed garbage disposal for his wife or teach his kids to bake in the kitchen? His mind wandered and he caught himself smirking– his wife wouldn't need his help because she was very capable on her own, thank you, and knew how to fix things. Katniss never depended on others, and she'd certainly wouldn't start-
He stopped mid-though, his jaw going slack. He'd never really dared let himself to really think about such a thing because it wasn't even a possibility until recently. The hope for a wife and family someday had always been there for Peeta, but he'd never imagined a real person in that role. It felt strange and exciting to actually picture someone in that scenario for him. It also felt terrifying and somehow forbidden at the same time. His cheeks burned as he began placing the fresh cookies into the display case. It was one thing to talk and laugh and enjoy the company of a person. It was entirely different to picture them in a romantic fantasy that was completely unrealistic.
Sliding the glass case closed, he remained crouched over as his reflection appeared in the clean glass. He knew what he wanted, but how could he make a reality?
He didn't want to go home after work. The thoughtful daze he'd seemed to be in all day carried him to his car, where he spied his gym bag tossed in the backseat. Realizing he had no other plans, he drove to the gym. Katniss wouldn't be working, but it might do him some good to not go home to his apartment and eat out of boredom. It was the time of day when most were getting home and eating dinner, so the building was practically empty and he had no issue remaining deep in thought. Over and over he let himself dare to imagine what his life could be like if he saw this whole thing through – losing the weight, taking over the bakery, buying a house, and…..and maybe, somehow, getting Katniss to….what?
Peeta sat down at one of the many workout machines he had no name for and halfheartedly began his workout. Getting Katniss to what – like him, date him, fall in love with him? The idea seemed less romantic and more daunting with every passing second. Disheartened, he tried his best to do three sets of twenty reps on each machine like he did when Katniss was coaching him. Her throaty voice seemed to echo in his head as he pushed himself through the workout. When he'd done everything there was to do, he went through and did it again. He was almost finished with his second round when his eyes spied Gale across the room, lifting weights in front of a mirror.
Even though he felt like a creep, he watched Katniss' friend with what he hoped looked like casual interest as he worked out. Gale was tall, lean, and extremely cut without being bulky. He was everything Peeta wanted, and not even his thorough workout could help him cut through the envy he felt when he saw someone with body like Gale's.
Seeing someone who looked like Gale made Peeta feel stupid for even trying to start in the first place.
Exhaling sharply, he let the bars of the machine drop, slumping forward to take a long drag of his water. He remained down for a few movements, just breathing heavily and thinking.
Annie had explained to him that his unnecessary eating was based on a pattern that seemed to be a combination of boredom and guilt. He ate because he was lonely and also because that's what he felt like he should do. Of course his family ate a lot, but that didn't mean he had to. Coming to terms with that took a lot – where Peeta came from, a clean plate was a sign of gratitude, and food was the main event at every occasion. He realized that the two things his family talked about at family dinners were work and of course more food.
There has to be more to life than just work and food, he thought. Realizing that his life revolved around those two things made him feel twice as heavy sometimes.
Annie said that in order to break his patterns and habits, he would have to put himself into new situations and try things that were scary and unknown, even if that meant exploring the health food section of the grocery store. He smirked to himself – that hadn't been as bad as he'd thought. Once he'd gotten used to the way food tasted with fewer sugars and additives, he didn't mind it half as much.
"You're Katniss' friend, aren't you?"
Jerking his head up, he realized with a start that Gale was standing right in front of him, wiping his face with a towel. Friend? Peeta thought. He was really just her client. His mind raced. Had she referred to him as a friend?
"Uhm, yeah. Uh, Peeta," he nearly stammered.
Gale gave him a nod of acknowledgement. "Working hard over here. How many pounds you down, man?"
"Um, just twenty," Peeta answered, feeling his already warm cheeks redden.
Gale nodded again, looking impressed.
"Catnip must be working your ass off. Good for her, ya know? She really sucked at this trainer thing til you came along," he chuckled, shaking his head.
Peeta blinked in surprise – both at the nickname and the fact that Gale said that she sucked at her job. Katniss didn't suck at her job – she was really good at it. Well, once he wrapped his head around the accidental cussing and the fact that she herself admitted she was bad at it. She'd grumbled more than once that she didn't particularly love her job at Panem Fitness. He caught himself smiling at the memory of her complaining about her job and shrugged.
"I guess not a lot of people actually love what they do."
"Well, she's tried doing just about every crappy job under the sun, you'd think the girl would have a skill by now," Gale snorted.
"She motivates me," Peeta offered with a shrug. "Maybe she's…found her calling?"
Peeta didn't know what to say, and Gale shrugged good naturedly, giving him a crooked smile. "I'm totally bull-shitting you, man, she's gotten a lot better at this. I give her a hell of a time, but what are friends for? She's alright, don't listen to me," he added with a snicker.
Peeta nodded in agreement, unsure of how to take Gale. The tall, statuesque man in front of him seemed to always have a playful jeer on the tip of his tongue, and Peeta got the feeling he didn't take himself nearly as seriously as he thought he would have. Silly as it was, he'd always held the biased belief that 'pretty' people were all completely self-absorbed and stuck up. Gale so far, seemed to be completely the opposite.
"She's ah….helped me a lot, actually. I don't, er, didn't know too much about how to switch up my workouts and all that and she uh…has really helped."
Gale grinned. "Good for you. Well, keep at it man. Have a good workout," he walked past him, giving him a hearty thump on the shoulder.
He is not at all what I thought he was, Peeta thought, still a bit bewildered. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he continue his workout and tried to get lost in counting his reps forget about everything on his mind.
Please excuse the lack of Katniss/Peeta in this chapter - this was more of a plot/pacing thing rather than hot K/P action, buuuut I'm working on the next chapter and I think everyone will like it. I'll try to get that posted sooner rather than later - thank you everyone for your reviews, messages, tumblr shout outs, etc...I've been crazy busy with work but it means to much to me to read that you are enjoying this fic :)
