Chapter 72: 'Don't worry, it's all just for pretend?'

Sorry for the delay. I hope everybody had a good start to 2020 and that I can now update more frequently.

Things are getting out of control with Dad drugging our boys. Will Merle go through with it and do what he wants? Poor Daryl! I don't think he could handle another betrayal, this time from his beloved, big brother no matter how strong he is. Will things ever get better for him?

It feels really good to be able to post again and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave a review if you can.

Happy reading!

Daryl

Dad's was looking at both of us expectantly and I don't know why I was even surprised at his words.

'I said fuck him in front of me!' He repeated. 'Ya must be hard again, Merle!' And this time it was my brother who flinched at the word 'hard' and turned crimson.

'Well?'

I could see that Merle was rapidly trying to think at least I hoped he was - of a way out of this - but more worryingly, I could also see him getting excited. Although he was doing his best to put on a bored, indifferent expression.

I could see the was. Down there. I hadn't meant to look of course – checking out my own· brother like that was just sick but I just couldn't resist taking a quick glance. Anyway, there wasn't anything that wasn't twisted about any of this. I guess I was just trying to work out how much of a threat he was right then.

'Merle…' I looked up at him pleadingly. 'Don't do this.'

'Shut up!' Dad cuffed me hard.

Merle's eyes narrowed and I could tell he was fuming but his voice was calm and steady when he replied to Dad.

'I think he's ready after what we jus' done, thanks, Dad. And you're right, it is such a relief not to have to pretend not to want to fuck him anymore.'

'Well, then get on with it!' Pervert was already touching himself, expecting a show.

Merle frowned and looked down at me with detached curiosity like I was some kind of interesting toy that had more interesting uses than he had realised before. While I was shouting 'No!' at him in my head but he wasn't hearing me.

Or maybe he simply chose not to listen.

He stroked one of my cheeks slowly and ran his hand down my side slowly, seductively. God help me, I couldn't suppress a a tremble but it wasn't totally fear.

He smirked knowingly.

'What ya waitin' for?'

'Jus' warmin' him up, Dad.'

'Merle…you can't! No! This ain't you! You ain't sick like him!'

'Shut-up.' He snapped and grabbed me to shove me on the bed. Looming over me.

I was on the verge of sobbing in shock and betrayal. Especially when he lined himself up. He was pressing himself urgently against me and I could feel him! But something was wrong and he sighed dramatically as if in disappointment.

'Dad…' He stopped and half-turned suddenly. 'Still can't do it with you there. You're right, we didn't do nothin' last night – I was gonna take it slow with him again tonight – try and get somewhere. I thought it would make him more willin' but now I realise he'll never let me. Besides, him tellin' me 'No' is pissin' me off.'

Dad grinned evilly and he momentarily stilled his hand to stop touching himself.

'That's OK, son. Ya learnin' fast. It pisses me off too when he cries and pleads with me to stop.'

I felt my brother stiffen with rage against me and even get off me a little when Dad described how he forced me and I felt a little surge of hope that he wasn't going to go through with it after all. But even then, I wasn't so sure. Hell, Merle was a convincing actor if that was what he was doing.

'But then it jus' turns me on all the more. Little slut still needs to be punished, after all.'

I could feel Merle repressing the urge to clench his fists and lunge at the asshole but he was playing it cool. Instead, he forced himself to relax and speak more casually than he felt.

At least I hoped that was what he was doing.

'Dad – I get what ya sayin'. And I'm gonna fuck him good tonight. But – ya see, I want our first time to be special. One he'll never forget for sure and I jus' can't do it there with ya watchin'.'

Dad snorted. 'Not this again. You ain't gonna do shit to him, are you, Merle? Not even now ya know how good he is with his mouth. Imagine what being inside his hot little ass would be like.'

Merle grabbed me roughly and shoved me hard against my bed. I whimpered in protest when I felt him against me again.

'Ya think I won't do it?'

Dad laughed. 'Prove it.'

'I want him to myself again – jus' tonight. You can make us do what ya like in front of you tomorrow, but jus' give me this one night. I got to teach this little whore a lesson that he don't got the right to say 'No!' to me.' He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and shook me!

'Merle… please don't hurt me. Ya promised!'

'Shut up about that!' He cuffed me hard but it didn't hurt. Not like when Dad hit me. 'Never promised ya nothin'. Stop fuckin' snivellin' like a little bitch….Dad…I get what ya mean about him now… the more he whines and pleads with me to stop, the more I wanna fuck his insides inside out!'

I shut up then, cowed. Ashamed also at my pathetic whimpers and begging when it wouldn't do any good. It was humiliating and I was a pussy for not pretending I didn't care. For not taking my punishment like a man. But I wasn't a man yet, I was still a boy. My scrawny frame was evidence of that. But neither of them seemed to care.

Was Merle really going to hurt me? Like he told Dad he would? Was him wanting us to be alone not about protecting me but for his own benefit?

Dad sighed and seemed to give up. 'Alright, Merle. But tomorrow, no more excuses. I mean it this time. Otherwise I'll fuck him anyway and make ya watch. You make sure ya train him good. I'm expectin' a good performance tomorrow.'

'Don't worry, will do.' He muttered darkly and picked me up and threw me carelessly on the bed like I weighed nothing. I guess I didn't – I'd lost quite a lot of weight since the summer. And still had barely grown.

My skinny boy body was no match for either of them. And when he determinedly got on top of me and grabbed my hips, I was in too much shock to struggle – I'd never expected the same treatment from him of all people.

'You can leave now, Dad.' I heard my brother tell my father without turning around behind him.

'Thank-you, thank-you.' The creep went out backwards, clasping his hands in gratitude. As soon as he was out, Merle snickered and drew the bolt before he grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly. He forced me to look at him when all I wanted to do was sink through the floor out of embarrassment.

'Hey, hey, hey. Easy.' He leaned forward slightly and put his mouth close to my ear, making my muscles hurt with the tension.

'Shit, look what the bastard done to ya, little brother. I'm not gonna hurt ya, of course I'm not.' He whispered so Dad couldn't hear. 'I'm not like that sick fuck, I ain't no baby-raper, I'm gonna kill him for this.'

I looked at him hopefully. ' Ya gonna kill him?' I whispered back, making big eyes at him.

Imagining a future without constantly walking around terrified, didn't seem real. Or possible.

He nodded. But just then we both jumped as Dad banged on the door. 'What's goin' on in there? I can't hear any screams.' We realised that he was determined to stay outside and listen if Merle wouldn't let him watch.

'Jus' a minute Dad!' Merle answered him. 'I'm warming him up first.' To me, he whispered, 'Look, I ain't gonna do nothin' to ya but we got to pretend for Dad otherwise he ain't never gonna leave us alone, OK?'

What could I do? I nodded.

'You got to cry and scream like I'm hurtin' you.' But he still didn't make a move.

Daryl

Instead, he cursed under his breath, seemed at a loss at what do, and scared the crap out of me when he finally grabbed hold of my shoulders and roughly shoved me down onto the bed. Then he pulled on his underwear and his jeans while shaking his head at me!

'Ain't gonna do no hurtin, bro. Don't worry. Jus' gonna fake it. Relax, and don't forget to make the sounds and beg me to stop.'

I shook my head, and let out a cry of shock as I could feel his erection digging into me through his jeans.

My eyes flew wide. 'Merle...' I started to struggle.

'Shh. I said I ain't gonna hurt ya and I won't. Don't mean nothin'- it's from the fuckin' meth.' He pointed towards his dick. 'Ya jus' gotta trust me, OK?'

'Yeah.' I whispered back reluctantly.

Merle moved his hips, making me feel his dick against me and his moans weren't long in coming as he thrust against me. Simulating sex or was it rape?

He leaned forward again so that our faces almost touched and surprised me by biting on my earlobe without warning. I gasped.

'Make the fuckin' noises,' he hissed in my ear. I cried out in pain for real then because Merle hadn't been gentle.

'Stop, Merle. Ya hurtin' me!'

'Mmm, yeah...' He continued grinding against my backside with soft moans. 'Why did I never fuck ya before, baby brother?'

The bedsprings squeaked as he ground against me.

'Merle, please stop!' I cried out in fake whimpers of pain.

Dad laughed on the other side of the door. 'Ain't he fuckable, son?'

'Yeah, he sure is. Thanks for opening my eyes, Dad.' My older brother agreed enthusiastically, moaning louder now and he sounded like he meant it to me.

His moans weren't real, were they? They didn't sound fake to me at all. Even though he wasn't hurting me, I could feel his cock pressing into my backside. If the clothes didn't form a barrier between us, he would've entered me, no doubt.

Although there was no pain, it was still a disgusting and unsettling experience.

Worse - I could feel it getting bigger and harder against me leading to the familiar feeling of powerless panic slowly rising within me.

He leaned over me then, 'Fuckin' cry…' He panted in my ear but at the same time he tousled my hair reassuringly.

'Don't do this to me, Merle...' I fake-sobbed, as he gave me the thumbs up. He moved his hands away from my hair, to grip my hips. In all of this insanity my mind grabbed on to one coherent thought in this farce. How seriously he was taking tricking Dad…

'Ya dirty little bitch.' Merle snarled loudly for Dad's benefit who gave an approving cheer in return. 'Scream for me, baby brother,' he whispered in my ear shortly after, smiling at the same time.

I did as I was told. Going for the full effect for that sick fuck listening outside the door. 'Merle!' I sobbed. 'Ya worse than Dad! You're bigger than him!'

I sensed Merle smirking behind me.

Dad chuckled instead of being angry. 'We'll see about that next time, son', he promised dirtily and I couldn't help the shudder that went through me.

'Merle, fuck you!'

'I'll make you scream for me, little brother, don't ya worry.'

Playing his role perfectly.

I whimpered loudly at this making our father chuckle while Merle sniggered as he pressed himself harder against me.

We could hear Dad clearing his throat expectantly, 'Merle?'

Both our heads turned towards the door when we heard the bastard's smile in his voice. 'Ya better take off those pants, boy. I ain't hearing the usual whimpers and screams that little bitch makes. What ya take me for, a fool?'

What? When I'd been making all the right noises for his benefit.

Merle's face paled while he stared down at me and he starting muttering in panic with his mouth working.

'Just do it. He won't ever let us alone, otherwise.' I sighed in resignation.

Merle nodded and took off his jeans but mercifully insisted on keeping his underwear on.

He closed his eyes as he gripped my hips again, as if steeling himself to do it. Of course, now I could really feel him and it was harder to block him out.

He moved tentatively at first, but it didn't take long before he sped up his thrusts. His smile changed into a thin line of determination and his fingers gripped my hips even harder.

That's nice, I thought sarcastically to myself. I would have my brother's bruising fingerprints on my hips instead of my Dad's because those from before were already fading. If he was like this when we were I merely pretending, I was thanking my lucky stars that Merle didn't really do it.

'Hey, don't forget he's still there, bro.'

I upped my screams.

'Moan, ya little slut. Show me ya like it. Otherwise I'm gonna really hurt ya. Go even deeper.'

'Merle...' I whimpered. 'No, stop!' I was no longer faking it as the little fabric in between us wasn't that much of a barrier and the panic bubbled up inside me. I could clearly feel him. The head of his dick was practically entering me.

'I'm gonna rip ya apart, ya little bitch.' He hissed loudly.

'Yeah, that's it. Fuck him hard. I know the difference between ya really doin' him and only pretending to, Merle. Don't ya ever try trickin' me like that again.'

'Didn't do it to trick ya, jus' wanted to try him out first. Ya know, know what type of bitch he is. Some needs special attention. He sure don't. He just begs for it.'

I started to struggle then as genuine fear took over. He moved one hand from my hip to my chest, holding me down. 'Shh, it's only pretend, ya know that. Merle won't hurt ya. Calm down. Or better - keep on strugglin', even though he can't see, I think it convinces him more.'

'Merle, for fuck's sake, get off me!' I hissed at him.

'I fuckin' can't. Damn meth… Everything jus' feels so damn good. More sensitive all over – especially, ya know? '

No, I didn't and I froze when he said that. I knew he was enjoying what he was doing, hell he had an erection hard enough to club someone to death with for fuck's sake.

It was different hearing him say the words, though. He wasn't faking them. I kept repeating mentally that none of this meant anything – it was only to get Dad off our backs – literally. I repeated this over and over in my head along with the pounding staccato drum rhythm in time with Merle's movements - meth meth meth. To distract myself from what was really happening.

He deliberately made the bed move with the force of his bodyweight so Dad could hear the springs groan and squeal while I kept on fake sobbing. 'Come back here, ya little tease, don't ya dare try and pull away from me!'

My brother was enjoying getting into character a little too much, if you asked me.

'Hit him!' Dad ordered raspily through the door and I just knew he was touching himself as he listened to us through it.

'Go deeper! Make the pretty little whore scream! Can I come in and finish myself off?' He asked breathlessly, panting.

'No!' We both shouted at the same time.

'Disgusting pervert!' Merle hissed low so he couldn't hear. Then continued aloud to our father, 'I want it to be just the two of us the first time. When I…finish.'

Dad agreed reluctantly. 'As long as ya put on a show for real for me tomorrow.'

Merle snorted then sneered down at me, as he panted breathlessly between moans.

Then he slapped me lightly while whispering to me in a thick voice I didn't recognize, 'Scream like I'm hurtin' ya – think I'm gonna come soon.' He groaned.

I blinked at this, staring stupidly up at him like I didn't know what the inevitable ending of all this was. 'What?'

I'd forgotten to scream or to plead with him to stop in my confusion, and increasing anxiety.

Merle shook me as his dick continued assaulting me down on the bed – faster and faster.

'Fuckin' scream – I'm really hurtin' ya now!',he hissed in my ear. For the hell of it, he let go of me again, and gave himself a hard slap in the face while grinning and showing all his teeth.

Not only did he look high right then, he looked like a wild animal.

'Merle! Stop! Don't!'I screamed as loud as I could. As he moaned and groaned for real on top of me.

Sensing we were nearing the end and maybe he'd just had his own – gross- he clapped and cheered outside the door in excitement.

'Come on, make some noise for me, ya dirty little ho.' He demanded breathlessly,I just wanted the ordeal to be over with as quickly as possible.

I did as I was told, Merle's head rolled back, and suddenly his hips and his dick went into frantic overdrive – and then they stopped moving suddenly. Finally, he slumped with all his weight resting on top of me.

I sensed a squirting and a release nevertheless and my brother shuddered and even let out a little cry. But he wasn't inside me, thank God. Just as Dad had predicted earlier, Merle was anything but gentle.

I couldn't fully process what the fuck had just happened and my head was filled with a million questions. But at that time I was just glad that my brother had restrained himself even if what he had done had been a disgusting and unsettling experience.

I reminded myself that Merle hadn't hurt me like Dad did and told myself that was all that really mattered.

'Sick bastard... Ya okay there, little bro?' He said, getting off me while trying to get his breathing back to normal. I nodded slowly, still in shock.

'I better ... go clean... myself up.' He said abashedly without meeting my eye. He was acting all embarrassed, a rare sight usually but not lately. As he turned away to leave, I heard him mutter foul curses directed at our father under his breath.

But he seemed to change his mind as he strode back over to me to help me up, supporting me because my legs were shaking really bad.

'Better yet, come with me. Don't wanna leave ya alone with that thing out there,' he whispered and then spat menacingly in Dad's direction. 'Shower then it is.' He said the last sentence out aloud.'You can service me in there like the little bitch ya are.'

I struggled instinctively as I played my role, 'No, please don't make me do that, Merle. Ain't ya done enough to me today as it is?'

'Nowhere close, ya little shit.'

I cringed back and whimpered while he grabbed hold of me more determinedly.

The bastard immediately seized his opportunity as soon as he heard this exchange. 'That was quick. Can I watch ya in the shower at least?' Dad asked. 'Maybe even join in?'

Merle growled and held me closer protectively.

'I want a go at him before I go to bed – it's been so long since ya had him all to yaself, Merle. I'm horny for him again after listening to ya fuck him so good.' He pleaded and coaxed.

'No, Dad. I got somethin' else I wanna try with little baby Darlena in the shower. After I get him to suck me off.' He smirked at me. 'Ya should go to bed.' He nudged me.

'No, Merle, no! Get the fuck off me you bastard!' I yelled.

Dad chuckled then paused. 'But what about my goodnight kiss...' Disappointment was clear in the twisted fuck's voice.

I shuddered and whimpered knowing what his 'goodnight kisses' usually involved.

Me kissing his fucking dick.

My big brother soothingly brushed back hair from my forehead. Letting me know he'd never let Dad in there - that he would keep me safe from him.

'Not tonight, Dad. We need some privacy – boy time. We're gonna spend the night together. Sorry – but ya made me see all the fun I was missin' with the hot little bitch and I wanna make up for lost time.'

I winced at his words. It was all just pretend to trick Dad, wasn't it? Were we actually going to shower together – naked? Was he going to force himself in my mouth?

Shit, he was really convincing, to the point where I didn't know what he meant for sure and only had the comforting and gentle way he was touching me to reassure me.

As if reading my mind, he nudged me with his elbow.

He did it again but for a very different reason – and I didn't need to ask why. Mulling it all over, I'd gone quiet. Too quiet.

'No, please, Merle. I can't take it...'

'Ya gonna get fucked every which way tonight, little brother.' He replied.

'No, Merle. Don't do this to me...Ya got what ya wanted…'I whined.

Dad chuckled softly; 'He sure does beg prettily.'

'Dad, can ya please leave us alone and go to ya room before we come out? I wanna get started.' Merle nudged me again.'Darlena's shy.'

I forgot to bristle at his teasing – his name for me sometimes when it was just the two of us. 'Please, Merle...' I begged.

'Ya beg me again and I'm gonna really hurt ya, ya little whore. ' Merle answered.

'Oh – I get it. Ya wanna play with him some more. Experiment. This is all new to ya...I'll go to my room but don't ya dare hog him all to yourself. I want him back in the morning, do ya hear? I got special fun times planned with that pretty little slut that we ain't tried before.'

I trembled and whimpered with fear because I couldn't even imagine what else he could do to me that he hadn't done before.

Merle only hugged me to him.

'Yes, Dad.' Merle replied obediently. But to me, he hissed 'Ya ain't gonna be in his filthy clutches in the mornin', Daryl.' He grinned at me, hugging me to him even harder. We both left out muffled laughter as we heard the bastard shamble away in disappointment.

I grinned back. I loved my big brother. Despite his weird and questionable behaviour. He was really going to save me.

'Merle... What's our plan?' I asked waveringly when we were sure Dad was gone.

'I ain't got one yet – need to think. But I gotta change my clothes and have a shower. Ya stick by me so he can't mess with ya, OK, little brother?'

'Yeah.' I smiled up at him and for the first time felt like there would finally be an end to it all.

'Come with me. Let's shower.'

'I meant alone.' He said when he saw the look on my face. 'Unless ya want to...' His cheeks flushed and he seemed hard-put to say the words. He looked away.

'And why the hell would I want to shower…naked with you?'I started to back away.

My worldly and sexually-experienced older brother actually blushed! 'Don't mind me – jus' came out wrong.' He stumbled over his words in embarrassment. 'Damn – maybe I forgot to get out of role…', he mumbled more to himself than to me.

'Look, I didn't mean… Don't know what I'm sayin'…the drugs…what he made us do jus' now…' Merle shook his head to clear it.

'I 't worry about it. I know you didn't mean it like that.' I smiled up at him while I couldn't help but think about what he had just suggested… he'd planted the seed in my mind. And I wasn't so disgusted as I made out…

No, not at all when I remembered his hands on me the other day when Dad had ordered us to touch each other… I sure liked his innocent little touches and hugs in general before all that, what if he went further? But I pushed those thoughts away in a hurry.

Because they were sick, that was what they were.

He was on the verge of stepping into the shower with his towel still wrapped around his lean torso when he stopped in his tracks, looking back at me. 'Sorry, little bro, ya probably wanna go first, huh?'

I nodded and stared at the floor in embarrassment in as much as what I'd just been thinking about on top of everything Dad had made us do.

'That's OK, go on. It's not ya fault, little brother. He made us because he's a pervert. Ya didn't do nothin' wrong.'

I nodded again, thankful that he still made sense despite being so high. He even patiently let me shower for ten extra minutes. I needed it. Because when he called out to me that it was his turn earlier, I had snapped at him, said that I wasn't done. And he didn't call me little sis, pussy, sissy, little princess - nothing. He just nodded understandably. He even grabbed me a towel for me when I finished and deliberately averted his head when he handed it over.

That was before he turned back and looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eye before he spoke.

Daryl

'How ya feelin'? Calmer?' Without waiting for me to answer, he started to massage my shoulders. Seemed to have forgotten totally about his own shower.

'Aah…' I leaned back into him as he hit right on target my knotted muscles.

'Mhm…still tense though. Why?'

He backed us up closer to the bathroom wall, leaned forward slightly and I could tell by his eyes he'd been taking more shit in the short time I'd been in the shower. Hadn't stayed in the bathroom to protect me from Dad (who seemed to have mysteriously disappeared) the whole time but right then, he was making me feel so good I forgot everything else.

Even what we did.

'Anything else I can help ya with?' He nuzzled my shoulder sending electric sparks throughout my body. I shivered and let out a soft moan equally from what he was saying and what he was doing to my utter mortification.

Fuck, he had noticed then. Of course he had. Probably knew what I had been thinking about in the shower. I groaned even louder in relief when his expert hands began kneading my sore shoulders and neck.

'You like this?' He laughed out loud.'You do. Admit it, little brother.'

He better stop using that goddamn velvety voice on me before we both end up doing something we both regret…I thought weakly to myself.

Then Merle nudged my cheek with his nose, before whispering in my ear, 'I can take care of that for ya as well.'

He made this offer while looking down pointedly at it and now his hands were running down my sides before they began to teasingly yet tentatively rubbing my stomach soothingly in circles…

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I closed my eyes but couldn't bring myself to stop him even while I wanted to sink right through the tiled floor.

I was hard in front of my big brother. Hell, it was because of him actually and he knew it plus the effect of his touches and massages (he'd gone back to innocently working on my shoulders again)had on me. He had this smug smile tugging up one corner of his mouth almost arrogantly.

I was turned on by my own brother. How sick was that?

'It's about time ya feel what it's like to be on the receiving end and not always givin'. Cos' I wanna say 'Thank you'.'

My breathing came out shakily in seconds flat because there was some unfamiliar emotion coursing through my body as I backed away from him.

Could it be excitement?

'Hey,hey, take it easy. See – I wasn't completely lying to the old man when I said I wanted to try something new with ya in the shower. I was just thinkin' how good it would be for us to get this shit out of our systems and never think about it again, ya know? After this night, no more. We're both high. No one will ever know. It'll be a one off unless ya like it and I think ya will.'

He leered jokingly dirtily at me, morphing rapidly from the funny older brother who made me dissolve into fits of giggles into…into something else. But I didn't have a name for it.

I stood there, my open mouth trying to gulp down air as I stared back my brother, wondering if this was a dream.

'Don't worry, I ain't gonna force ya, not like him. Or expect ya to do something for me in return. Tonight is all about you, little bro – if ya want it to be, that is.'

My eyelids fluttered as I tried to take in his words while my breathing spun out of control. I was almost swayed by that silver tongue of his and the way he was feeling me all over with his hands, just stopping shy of touching anything he shouldn't. I was also wondering what he planned to do to me – a blow job or a hand job?

'You say 'No' and it stops there. Jus' between you and me. What do ya say, hey, bro?' He coaxed me, continuing to use that damn irresistible silky voice of his that he'd used to charm so many girls into bed.

'Ya don't need to do nothin'. If ya don't want to that is.' He smirked mock lecherously like he couldn't believe that I wouldn't want to.

'Jus' go with the flow, he ain't controllin' us now. Don't think about it, let's jus' do it.

I looked up at him through the wisps of hair that were stubbornly falling back into my eyes. Was he serious? It sure looked like it.

'All right, but you'll stop If I tell ya to?'

'Of course. No need to worry about that though, I promise ya – once I get goin', ya won't want me to.'

I shivered – but was it in fear or anticipation of pleasure? I wasn't sure – maybe a bit of both.

'Ready?' He asked me.

I smirked at him in answer and stood my ground, waiting for him to make his first move. Wondering if he was going to use his hand or his mouth on me. But the first thing he did was kiss me which I had not been expecting. I was taken aback with the need radiating from him so I wound my arms round him and kissed him back. Just as longingly. Because clearly I needed him too.

Next, he grabbed me almost violently to press me up against the wall, kissing and nibbling at my neck. He pulled back slightly and looked at me cautiously, 'Ya want me to stop?'

I shook my head, already gasping and panting at his kisses and touches as I relaxed against the wall. Then his hands were all over me, expertly touching me at the right places at exactly the most delicious pace without holding back like before.

'OK?' He took a break and checked my eyes.

I grabbed him in frustration and impatience because he'd stopped. 'Get on with it already.' I snarled in his ear while he chuckled.

'Told ya ya wouldn't want me to stop and I was right.' He grinned smugly and his hands touched as much of me as he could. Sometimes he was gentle, sometimes rougher. But I couldn't care less. It didn't take my brother much to make me moan and I closed my eyes and wasn't ready for the firm hand now gripping my hard dick. My breath hitched as I opened my eyes.

'Want me to take ya in my mouth?'

Without thinking, I shook my head violently at that – wasn't ready to go that far. Not with him. 'Just hand, hand's fine.' I mumbled under my breath as he sent pleasure throughout my entire body.

'That's fine, baby brother. Whatever ya want. Let ya big brother take care of ya. Don't hold back on me now.'

One of his hands wrapped around my waist while he did his thing against my scalp using his nails and sending all kinds of sizzling feelings that were driving me crazy. He was holding me steady at the same time because my legs were unsurprisingly weak after everything.

Then he lowered me down to the floor without letting go of his grip around my dick.

He sat with his back against the wall right under the shower which was still on but he turned the heat up. 'Come on, straddle me, let me hold ya.'

I did this without thinking, needing him on some deep emotional level that I was unwilling to explore just yet. Could we really go back to pretending nothing had happened afterwards? My feelings for probably only stemmed from the vastly different way he treated me in comparison to Dad. Caring and concerned about what I wanted like my high-school teacher had been. Yes – it felt like with Carl and knowing that I was in control and that it wasn't a 'punishment' let me relax and and just focus on enjoying the ride.

Now all I wanted was for him not to stop. Not for a mere half a second. In time his grip grew firmer but it never lost it's rhythm. I bit the inside of my cheeks to try to muffle my sounds of sheer pleasure.

That made him lightly slap the other side of my head with his free hand. 'I told ya, don't hold back. This is your moment. I wanna hear ya.'

'But…but what about him? Ya…ya s'posed to be hurtin' me…'

'Fuck 'im. Told ya not to think about that twisted fuck.'

So, letting go, I let out my moans in full volume without holding back. Not worried that it might wake up the bastard in the other room or wherever he was. Or maybe, perversely, hoping it would. It would make him mad for sure. I chuckled at that thought.

Meanwhile, Merle's eyes glazed over with his lust and self-satisfaction as he watched me enjoying myself. I arched my back and shamelessly braced myself on the floor with my hands while I thrust into his. His expert touching combined with the shower sprays only magnified my pleasure.

'Gorgeous. Beautiful inside and out, jus' like I told ya before, little bro. Everybody gonna be wantin' sweet Daryl.' He snaked one arm behind my back to bring me closer to him again. Almost flattening me against himself, he kissed me but this time tenderly.

I shut my eyes as our lips met as I tried to imagine this after being made to feel so filthy and worthless by Dad and couldn't quite believe it.

He drew back from our kiss, causing a appointed sound of need escape me. But he just chuckled as he muttered 'Greedy little shit,' under his breath.

I opened my eyes again to meet his and the combination of my brother's admiring and loving eyes focused on me at the same time as his hand kept a steady rhythm going was all too much. I came all over his hand and stomach, with shuddering moans. And he didn't stop until the last drop was out. My arms were around his back, holding him tight to me. I didn't know what to do or say, I just wanted to feel him, for him to hold me back. Best of all, he kept his word - didn't make me do anythin' in return. Not that I would have minded – not really.

'Ya smilin' now, huh, little brother?' He murmured against my hair.

I tightened my arms around him. 'Yeah…' I whispered back, getting ready to get back shakily onto my feet.

'No hurry, ya stay put until ya feel you're OK. It's been a big day for ya – ya first ever hand job.' He frowned and added with raised eyebrows, 'I mean… from ya big brother.'

'No, really, I'm feelin' all better.'

'Well, then get ya ass off me, and let's take a shower. Together this time, OK?'

I smiled my agreement at him before I got up and reached out with my hand to grab his.

He took it with a mischievous smile playing around his lips.

'What?'

We showered, me for the second time because I needed it again, obviously. He patiently waited, didn't leave my side and watched in silence as I scrubbed and scrubbed. Careful to work particularly hard on the places Dad had touched – I could still feel them even then.

On the other hand, I was careful not to wash away too many of Merle's touches – I could still feel them – maybe even more than that sicko's. Now I could feel the places where my brother had touched glowing in contrast. It was weird but not unwelcome to say the least.

Merle sniggered as I let out a surprised cry. In my foggy wishful reminiscing about his hands and where they'd been, I had accidently turned the cold water on full force and I tried to run out of there like a shot. He hugged me to him then, laughing at me.

'Very funny, didn't do that on purpose.'

Before we left the bathroom he turned around to face me, 'I'll sleep with you - make sure that bastard can't get at ya. Ya bed or mine?'

I don't know what made me say it even though my bed was so small, 'Mine.'

We bolted my door behind us. Knowing that if I was left alone, Dad might grab me.

When we were safe inside, he ruffled my hair. Then he shoved the wardrobe in front of the door.

'Just in case he tries to get in.' He winked at me.

Funnily, it felt like we were going camping again - or something. Like an adventure. Like old times. But then Merle unrolled the mat on the floor, pried up the floorboard and took out his secret stash of drugs. Waved the bag at me.

He snorted a couple of lines of coke from a piece of paper on his wooden desk, sat back for a while as the substance took a hold of his body.

'Wanna try some?' I shook my head. I was worried now – if he got high …who knows what he would do?

'Got any booze?' I asked him. More to distract him from the dangerous drugs.

'Sure.' He went to his bedroom where he hid it from Dad. I went with him, just to be safe. Bastard was always sneaking into our rooms, stealing our shit. After he passed me the JD bottle. Took the half full vodka bottle himself. 'Guess ya need it after the sick shit he's put ya through.'

'Ya got somethin' to smoke?' I needed something to stop my shaking. After taking a long, deep swig of the booze and feeling the warmth spread through my body, I relaxed.

He took one of the cigarettes out of a packet he found in his pocket and lit it and the smoke curled around his head. He tossed over the Lucky Strike packet to me.

'Help yourself, brother.'

We sat in easy silence parted by only a few words and his grunts every now and then. I was just relieved to be away from Dad, happy that Merle knew and was going to do something about it. That my big brother would always protect me. Yet when he started on the coke and meth after offering me some (which I declined), I began to feel uneasy.

I underestimated Dad's hold over him and me.