Author's Note: Parts of my story do paraphrase Twilight a bit. I don't own the characters. This is just for fun. Thanks for reading!


Edward was waiting as promised beside my truck when I finished hurriedly getting ready. I tossed the keys at him.

"You're letting me drive?" he was shocked.

"Only because I don't want to take my hands off of you."

He laughed and opened my door for me, standing in front of me as I got in. I grabbed his hands and pulled him towards me for a kiss. "I missed you." he whispered.

"I missed you too. Now let's get out of here before Charlie wakes up."

"Agreed." He said, getting in beside me and starting the truck. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me with something today?"

"What's up?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him, and resting my head on his shoulder.

"I need to apologize to my entire family for how I treated them. I thought you might help me come up with a way to surprise them when they get home?"

"I don't suppose a giant cake would work on vampires would it?"

"No." he laughed again, and I couldn't suppress a smile. I missed this so much.

"What do you have in mind then?"

"I have no idea."

"Maybe you should buy them each a new sports car. All different colors. Make your garage a rainbow." He was quiet for a minute or two. "You can't seriously be considering that!" I said, surprised.

"I was, but I believe that would be a little too conspicuous."

"A little! Yeah, maybe just a tiny bit." I buried my face into his shoulder, enjoying how wonderful he smelled. I could have fallen back asleep, so calming was his presence. "How about something for the whole family to enjoy together?" I thought out loud.

"That sounds nice. Maybe some new baseball equipment or a huge flat screen or something."

"There you go, but I can't possibly imagine that you all haven't already bought anything you want."

"The thing I want most can't be bought." He took one of his hands off the wheel to lovingly brush some of my hair out of my face. "Although, I would gladly spoil her if she would let me. And she isn't a thing. She's my mate." I was overwhelmed in the best way possible by his simple statement. I know he heard my heart speeding up with the excitement and pleasure it brought me.

"All I want is for you to never leave again. I don't feel complete without you."

"I know, my love. I'm sorry. I won't ever be so stupid and thoughtless again. I promise."

I nodded, hesitantly believing him but still a little scared from our months apart. "What about some tennis rackets or a foosball table or something? I know you all can't really play baseball without a storm."

"Tennis rackets are usually alright, especially the metal ones, but the balls don't survive long with our strength. I imagine a foosball table would meet the same fate; however, you have given me a good idea. I hear there's a new gaming console coming out this year that is motion sensitive and has a bunch of sports games. Maybe I'll see if I can get one early for them."

"That covers Emmett and Jasper then, what about everyone else?"

"Hmm, you're right. Maybe I'll get them a giant flatscreen and a new sound system to go with it."

"Do you think that would make them accept your apology, buying them gifts?"

"Esme and Carlisle likely forgave me before it even happened. The others definitely love bribes, so along with my most sincere apology, I'm sure it will work. It's you I'm concerned with though."

"Edward, my life has sucked for a few months. You hurt me really badly, but I know you hurt yourself too. I forgive you. I love you. I just need you, and lots of time with you, to heal and trust that you will always come back."

"Time, I have plenty of, especially for you, my mate." I snuggled closer to him. He apparently could tell the effect that title had on me. "How about we switch cars, get the human some breakfast and go for a long drive, maybe stop and pick out the family's gifts before we head back home?"

"Anything, as long as I'm with you."

"Anything?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, maybe not anything. You aren't buying me a new car or driving us across the country. But breakfast and shopping, I can handle."

"But not my driving?"

"Your driving is terrifying."

He laughed and parked my truck at the Cullen house so we could switch cars. "So that's what terrifies you about me? Not my diet, my strength, my bad habits, but my driving."

"Yep."

"I'll never understand you, Isabella Swan."

"But you love me."

"More than my own life." he answered absolutely, taking me into his arms and kissing my hair as he began to run his fingers through it. "More than I ever imagined I could possibly love anyone. You make me feel emotions I never dreamed possible for me. You have no idea how much power you hold over me, Bella."

His dark eyes were the most determined I had ever seen as he leaned down to kiss my lips. I kissed him back without hesitation, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him as close as possible to me.

I'm not sure how or when I ended up sitting on the hood of his Volvo with him standing in front of me, kissing me both breathless and speechless as he held my face, his hands tangled in my hair. "Please never doubt how much I love you." he whispered, barely pulling away not even an inch to let me breathe. "My love." He caressed my lips gently. "My mate." He kissed a trail from my lips to my ear and whispered. "I can't stand to be away from you. I never would have left if I didn't think it was best for you. I thought you'd never be safe with me. I didn't want you to get hurt anymore. But I just put you in more danger. I've hurt you so badly, but you have my word that I will never betray your trust again. Never. Again." He looked at me again, his eyes fierce and I gave myself over to the sensations of his kiss, wrapping my arms firmly around his waist rather than his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible.

I nearly whimpered from the loss of contact when he took a small step backwards. "Sorry." I whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"My blood still tempts you."

"No. Not anymore. I could never, ever harm you, especially not after truly knowing the pain of being without you."

"Then come over here."

He laughed nervously and released his hands from my hair, holding my hands instead. He helped me down from the hood of the Volvo and opened the car door for me. I looked at him, pouting. "Why did you stop?" I asked.

"Bella..." he shook his head, looking down at the floor, which he suddenly found interesting. I waited, holding my breath, anxious about why he had stopped kissing me. After a minute or two, he looked up and answered so quietly I nearly missed it. "I may not be human, but I am a man. There are other, more human, urges that I'd like to keep under control for now."

"Oh." I said, realization dawning on me about why he took a step backwards. I blushed furiously and got comfortable in the car. Edward caressed my flaming cheek.

"I love your blush. I missed this so much."

"Edward. Do you think that someday we could-? I mean…if you wanted to."

"Of course, I want to, Bella. Did you hear what I just told you? You truly have no idea what you do to me. But only if I can be sure that I won't hurt you, likely after you've changed. Not today." I nodded, happy with his answer for now and more concerned with getting my blush under control. "I've missed you so much, silly girl." he said, still caressing my cheek. His cool hands felt amazing. "How would you ever believe that I wouldn't find you attractive? That I wouldn't want to have that experience with you?"

"I feel like we're so mismatched sometimes…" I whispered quietly, knowing that he wouldn't like it.

"Explain that, please."

"It's just…I've always felt like this. You're so amazing at everything you do. You have all of this experience, all these hobbies. You are breathtakingly handsome. You're smart. You're fast and strong. You like to spoil me with expensive gifts I feel like I can never pay back. And I'm just….me. Bella."

"And that's why you believed me so easily when I told you I didn't love you."

"Yes." I sobbed, caught off guard, and hid my face in my hands. Remembering that day hurt so much, even with Edward right with me. He knelt down beside me, rubbing my back as I cried. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I keep ruining the moment."

"No, I'm the one who needs to apologize. Come on, our trip can wait. I have something you need to see." He reached for one of my hands and I reluctantly removed it from my face, taking his hand. I let him help me out of the car and into the house. "The family packed everything up when they left, except for my room. They weren't sure when or if I would join them, so it's still as I left it."

I was trying to stop crying. I was tired of crying in front of Edward. Why did I always have to be the weak one? He didn't seem to mind though. He held my hand gently, but firmly as he led me up the stairs and to his room. It was haunting to see the Cullen house, usually so lively, with everything either missing or covered in heavy white sheets. There was no art on the walls, no books lining the shelves. I was relieved when Edward's room was as he said, looking like he had just left a few minutes ago instead of a few months ago.

"I'll be right back." He whispered. He was back within seconds, wrapping a plush blanket around my shoulders. "I turned the heat on, but I don't want you to freeze while it's starting up." He led me over to his couch and I sat down wrapped in the blanket. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous about what he was going to show me. I couldn't hold myself together.

"Let's start with your first concern. You think I'm amazing at everything." Edward walked over to his closet and handed me a sketchbook. "Look through it." I flipped through the pages and saw a lot of scribbling and areas that had clearly been erased several times. It was nearly thirty pages into it, each full, before anything started looking like actual art, simple drawings of fruit and square buildings.

He then handed me a stack of papers, the top of which was an essay dated 1952 with a big red F stamped on it. I noticed that the others also had rather unfavorable remarks.

"You think I have a ton of experience, and I do. I won't deny that. But it has taken me years of practice to get where I am now. There are still plenty of things I can't do, I assure you. Just ask my family when they get back. Now, you already know exactly how I feel about your beauty. I told you so this morning. I understand that you are hesitant to believe me about everything Bella, and it's my fault for making you feel this way when I left. I intend to set it right. Here." he said, handing me a stack of old, leather bound books. "These are my journals. All of them. They started just months after Carlisle changed me and end just a day or two before I left. I want you to see exactly what you mean to me. It's up to you if you want to read them all, or just the most recent ones. But I want you to see for yourself who I really am."

"Edward…" I started, but I was unsure of what to say. "I don't want to invade your privacy." I finally finished after a long pause.

"I don't want privacy. I have nothing to hide from you. Nothing. You are my mate. And I'm not going to deny that ever again. It doesn't matter that you're human."

He appeared beside me on the couch, holding me in his arms. "I'll warn you though. I'm rather boring. These might put you to sleep."

"If they do, I'm sure I could use some more sleep." I smiled weakly at him.

"I love you so much more than you could ever comprehend. I hope this helps you see that. Will you be alright if I run to town for a few minutes for some breakfast for you?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to." he said, disappearing and reappearing in front of me in a flash. "Here's the house phone. It still has service. And here," he paused, grabbing a pen and paper, "is my cell phone number. I won't be gone long. If you get scared or miss me too much, call me. I'll answer before it even rings twice." He kissed my forehead and with that, he was gone. I took a minute to compose myself, but curiosity got the better of me. I grabbed the oldest looking journal and started reading.