Now began a period of arguments and truces between Robin and Marian, or rather the same argument, hashed and rehashed over and over again while Robin prepared for war. Many words were shouted at one another, but what still remained unspoken between them caused each of them agony and longing.

Arriving with Much to Knighton Hall a few days following his birthday, Robin earnestly searched Marian's proud, angry face then turned cold and proud himself before closeting himself alone with Marian's father in his study.

"What are they discussing?" Marian wondered out loud, through clenched teeth.

If Robin could see the tears begin to well in her eyes, he would toss aside his anger and try to comfort her. But she had been too proud and stubborn to allow herself to cry before him. Anyway, nothing, she knew, could comfort her unless he chose not to go to war.

"Make him stay, my lady," Much begged her now. "Say...do whatever you can to keep him here with us. He cannot go to war and be killed! I will die...die from a broken heart!"

The color drained from Marian's face. Until now, she had refused to admit that Robin might die in battle. He was, after all, skilled at arms. Hadn't Lord Sheridan, Trainer of the King's Knights, boasted that Robin was the best he had ever trained, aside from King Richard? But Marian knew Robin to be a risk taker...the biggest risk taker she knew. He never gave in to fear. She might even truthfully say he sought out danger, enjoying the thrill of adventure.

He could die, Marian realized. He legs turned to jelly, and she had to summon all her will to force herself to remain standing and not crumple to the ground.

Alone with Sir Edward, Robin was discussing whom the sheriff might appoint to look after Locksley during his absence.

There was tension between the two men...both of them knowing that Robin's leaving was tearing Marian apart. But both understood better than she that Robin felt it his duty to go.

"Thornton is capable of looking after my household servants," Robin told the sheriff. "But I've been struggling to think of someone I trust well enough to take care of my village. Any nobleman worth his salt will join the king's crusade."

Sir Edward flinched. He himself had chosen not to go to war when King Henry had called for men to take up arms in the Second Crusade. But he knew that Robin had not meant to insult him. "I will do it myself, Robin, if you agree, until I find someone more permanent to put in place. It will do Marian good to help care for the village she will one day be lady over."

Robin felt honored and relieved. "Thank you, Sir! You'll find my village prosperous and content. I've asked Dan Scarlett, the carpenter, to settle any possible disputes that might arise that won't need your attention. Dan is cool-headed and wise, a man who has mastered his passions. He has my respect, and the respect of my village."

"That is irregular. You do not expect him to grow puffed up with power, and forget his place?"

"He is head of his family. Is it so very different to add to that authority, extending it to his village?"

Sir Edward had never thought of it in that way before. Robin was full of unusual ideas, but again and again they proved well thought out and sound. "You know your people best," Sir Edward decided. "Ah! Such an honor, Robin! The king naming you Captain of his Private Guard!"

"I will try to be worthy." Robin sighed, thinking what now confronted him. "And now, if you will excuse me, I need to speak with Marian."

"Do not upset her."

Robin merely nodded his head before leaving Sir Edward alone.

Leaving the study, he found Marian pretending to busy herself by counting her household linens. Much, he guessed, was in the kitchen, enjoying something to eat.

"Marian," Robin began, his voice pleading.

"Twenty, twenty-one...There! You've made me lose count!"

She couldn't stop the tears from spilling onto her cheeks, and angrily brushed them away. "Now I'll have to start over again! One, two, three..."

Robin stepped forward and took the stack of napkins from her. "Let me help," he said. "You helped me with my figures, not so very long ago."

Marian conquered her tears by keeping her eyes cast down at his boots. She could feel him standing close to her...hear him breathing. She knew if she looked at his face she would cry, and she mustn't weep! And then, staring so hard at his boots, she remembered last winter.

Nottinghamshire had experienced the coldest period of days around Christmas in recent memory. Locksley Pond had completely frozen over, and Marian recalled the exhilaration she had felt while Robin pulled her over the ice, running and slipping and sliding. His hands held fast to her waist and she had clutched his arm, and could only stare down at his boots until she developed enough trust to look up and around her at the frozen, swirling world. They had laughed together so much that day, and had grown warm from their exercise, even while their breath came out in small puffy clouds, and their lips, when they kissed, felt cold.

Where would he be this year, she wondered now, at Christmas time?

"Twenty-four," Robin said, finishing his count. "Trust me, Marian. I may have trouble tallying long columns of numbers, but I know how to count."

She snatched the linens back from him and put them away. She could feel his eyes staring deeply at her, as if trying to see "all the way into her soul," the way he claimed she did when she looked at him. She still did not trust herself enough to look him in the eye.

Her first memory led to another incident that had taken place during the same frozen season. For the first time, her father had allowed her to act as lady over the castle's Christmas festivities, believing her finally old enough. She had worn a new red velvet gown and golden stars in her hair, and she had been furious when Robin arrived late for the banquet, having had assigned him the task of leading the toasts. She still did not know he had been late because he was making certain everyone in his village had enough blankets and fuel to keep them warm during the night, but she had quickly forgiven him anyway, just because she was so happy to be with him.

But now he was planning to leave her, perhaps forever, and how could she forgive him for that?

"What did you and my father talk about?" she asked.

"He agreed the two of you should help look after Locksley, in my absence."

"Me?"

"Why not? It'll be your village too, once June arrives."

Marian huffed. "You won't be here in June."

"Is that what's bothering you? You think I'll miss our wedding?"

"I don't see how we can marry, with you thousands of miles away." Her voice broke, and she hated herself for her weakness.

"June is eight months away. I'll be home by then, Marian."

"Don't be ridiculous! The First Crusade lasted three years. So did the Second! And you expect to finish off the Saracens in less than eight months?"

Robin was surprised at her knowledge. He had no idea how long each of the previous crusades had lasted. "You've been studying history. I'm impressed. But you forgot something, Marian. The previous crusades didn't have King Richard, or myself, to lead them."

She was able to look directly into his eyes now without a trace of a tear. His smugness only made her angry, not unhappy.

He continued gazing at her, confident his charms could banish her concerns. "I'll be back before June, Marian," he promised. "Nothing needs to change. I'll still be your husband, and you'll be-"

"No, you won't! Not unless you stay here, and don't go at all!"

"I have to go, Marian! A man must fight for his king."

She didn't know it, but she would remember his words the rest of her life, and even repeat them to her father on the day she was to marry Gisbourne, realizing the truth of them at last.

But now, they sounded nothing more than an excuse for Robin to seek glory and forgo his promise to her. "What of your village?" she asked accusingly. "What about the people you claim to care about?"

Her tears returned, and she angrily blinked them away. Of course, her second question didn't refer to only his village, but to herself.

"I've made arrangements with your father, and with two others in my village. I do care for them, Marian. You know I do."

"I don't know anything of the kind. If you cared, you wouldn't go!"

"I couldn't care half so much if I didn't love honor, and my king and country just as much! I don't expect you to understand, but I-"

"Because I'm a woman?"

Their voices had been raised for some time. Sir Edward appeared from his study and told Robin he must go home.

"I warned you not to upset my daughter," he told Robin sternly.

"We will continue this discussion," Robin told Marian, and she nodded her head, wishing she could go with him and Much now, back to Locksley.