Lydia

Lydia held Cornelius close as Tinker attempted to ease Cornelia's discomfort by drenching one of Lydia's leftover pieces of cloth in cold water and laying it gently across the Ape Queens forehead. It seemed to relieve her somewhat, if her barely-audible sigh was anything to go by, but it was only too clear that it would be a temporary comfort.

It had been three weeks since the ship carrying the soldiers had arrived in San Pablo Bay, and since then, Cornelia's condition had only worsened. It had gotten to the point now what she was too sick to properly care for her infant child most of the time – it was now necessary for him to be wet nursed by another female in the colony, who happened to have a child around the same age. There had been quite a few to choose from, and most were more than willing to help take care of the youngest Ape Prince.

Caesar may have had his authority questioned recently, but Cornelia was still a very much-loved female leader, which quickly showed once her illness became so severe that it was no use to try and hide it.

Nobody had dared challenge the Royal Couple's position yet, seeing as the soldiers down in the city had wasted no time setting up camp and fortifying the entire centre of San Francisco as their new base of operation. Caesar had his hands full with doing much the same, placing strategic lookouts while also sending out apes to work on setting up traps and smaller bases throughout the forest – anything to throw off the soldiers and lead them away from the apes' actual location.

There was simply no time for petty squabbles over leadership right now – they needed to prepare for what was to come.

Cornelius cooed softly as he pressed his cheek against Lydia's sternum, his vibrantly green eyes trained on his mother's form. It was clear he would rather be held by her instead of Lydia, no matter how evident it was that he adored the human woman – he wanted his mother and Lydia couldn't blame him.

She was just happy that he felt comfortable enough with her not to squirm and thrash in her arms, like he did with many of the other females who attempted to hold him. The moment he was done being fed by his assigned wet nurse, a very mild-tempered chimp named Brook, he was done with her – period – and immediately started squirming out of her grasp.

She took it in stride, however, understanding that an infant would always prefer his own mother over anyone else, and went about nursing her own child once Cornelius was done.

Lydia stroked the small ape's back as she released a heavy sigh.

"How is she feeling?" Came a soft voice from a few feet away, almost making Lydia jump in surprise – she hadn't heard Ellie's approach.

Once she had managed to calm down her racing heart, Lydia lowered her head dejectedly.

"Even worse. Still feverish and she still hasn't eaten." She answered as she reached down to grab Cornelia's hand, stroking the back of it softly with her thumb. It had been a few days since she had last been able to keep anything besides liquid down.

The hand was, as the rest of the Ape Queen's body, incredibly warm and clammy to the touch.

Ellie crouched down beside them and nodded as she examined Cornelia, as she had done pretty much every day for the past three weeks. The expression she wore on her face remained the same as the other times she had done this – a look of deep worry and frustration.

Worry for the Ape Queen's life, which once again seemed to seep from her with each passing day, and frustration over the fact that there was absolutely nothing Ellie could do to help. They were feelings Lydia very much shared.

Ellie sighed and adjusted herself into a cross-legged position beside Lydia, a deep crease present between her delicate brows as she redirected her gaze towards her friend and survival-coach, taking in her appearance.

"You look tired." She informed Lydia matter-of-factly.

"I am." Lydia answered simply. It was no use denying it. She was exhausted.

Before the soldiers had arrived, life had been hectic enough as it was. Lydia had just lost her lover of six years and was attempting to deal with that loss and a grieving son who needed her support. In addition, they'd also had to relocate the entire Ape Colony to a new home and fortify it to prepare for when the war Koba had started would finally reach their doorstep. And in the meantime, she had also been busy preparing Ellie, Malcolm and Alex for when they'd have to set out in search of a new home of their own.

It had been more than enough to have her collapse into the nest and immediately fall asleep from pure exhaustion – especially after that dreaded day the soldiers had arrived, marking the beginning of what Lydia knew would be a trying time for everyone. Coupled with the fact that Cornelia's sickness had now broken out in earnest, it was no wonder Lydia was now sitting in a slumped position with dark rings around her eyes.

For the last three weeks, Lydia had barely slept at all, racked with worry for what the future had in store for herself and those she loved.

Tinker eyed her long-time human friend with a sympathetic look as she wiped Cornelia's forehead with the moist cloth from before, cooing softly at the Ape Queen when she attempted to shift into a different position.

Truth be told, Lydia thought she herself had no right to complain. Everyone was working hard at the moment, and no one more so than Caesar.

The Ape King had already voiced his frustrations to Lydia about his inability to be there for his wife while also preparing for the battles he knew lie ahead. He wanted desperately to spend every hour with Cornelia, but his duties towards his apes kept him far away from her ever since that blasted ship had glided into the bay. He had barely been home this last week, leaving his wife in the tender care of his closest friends and allies. Goodness knew there were enough apes around who still held a grudge against the Ape King and getting at him through his weakened wife – well it would have only been all too easy for them, had it not been for the likes of Lydia, Blue Eyes, Maurice and Luca.

Oh, and most of the females who still supported their queen – even a gathering of males would think twice about facing a horde of angry female apes. They had been a tool in Koba's ploy to take over already – they would not find themselves in the same position again.

Lydia had no idea how much time passed after having confirmed Ellie's words, but knew it must have been quite a while once she was pulled out of her dark musings by the woman – Cornelius had fallen asleep against her chest, Lydia's fingers gently carding through his fur having been enough to lull the infant to sleep.

"You should go get some rest, Lydia. There's no reason Malcolm and I can't look after her for a few hours. Besides, you won't be able to put an arrow through anything if you're seeing double from sleeplessness anyway." Ellie informed her seriously.

Lydia knew she was right, and she also knew Ellie, as well as everyone else, wanted only what was best for her – but even if she was so tired she could literally feel her heartbeat against the back of her eyeballs at this point, her mind refused to let her rest. There was still so much to do and now more than ever, Lydia had people who depended on her.

She would not let them down, she had made that much of a promise to herself already.

Lydia shook her head in reply to Ellie's words.

"I'll stay here until Caesar gets back. It shouldn't be too long now." She spoke, noting how the sky had turned considerably darker since she had first sat down by the Ape Queen that afternoon.

In truth, there was no way of telling when Caesar would be back – but Lydia knew he would be. He would simply not leave his mate to toss and turn in feverish discomfort through the long, dark night – even if Blue Eyes was still here to look after his mother.

Speaking of Blue, he was taking this just about as hard as Lydia expected he would. He guarded Cornelia as often as he could and was over her in a second the moment she started coughing or moaning in discomfort. He had been very torn about whether he should head out and help his father or stay home and make sure the colony was safe and under control. This tug-of-war between his duties to the colony and those to his family clearly frustrated him as much as it did his father, but Blue, unlike Caesar, had had the luxury of being able to choose.

And he had, in the end, chosen the latter option - a wise decision, in Lydia's humble opinion.

It was safer that way, after all. To have Blue Eyes stay in the colony and act as de-facto leader in his father's absence during the day. He was not the naïve adolescent ape he had been before Koba's betrayal and he kept a vigilant eye on those of the bonobo's former followers who remained in the colony.

Despite everything, Lydia was glad to see that the elder Ape Prince at least wasn't closing in on himself as a result of the difficult situation his family was facing. Over the course of these last three weeks, he had frequently sought out Lydia when the need to talk about it all with someone struck him, a prime example of how much their relationship had improved since their talk back at Caesar's childhood home. It seemed like so long ago now.

Also, he and Orion seemed almost inseparable nowadays – even more so than they had before Ash's death, their friendship having transformed into something akin to brotherhood as a result of their dear childhood friend's recent passing.

Lydia knew it helped them both greatly in dealing with the grief and anxiety they both felt and was also, in a way, relieved that Orion had someone other than her to share his sorrows with. Someone his own age.

And if Cornelia was going to pass on, which seemed inevitable at this point, Lydia suspected that it would be good for Blue Eyes to have someone at his side who knew the pain of losing a parent. It had certainly helped Orion to talk with Lydia about it, but she was his mother and though she still missed her human family dearly, the pain was no longer as fresh and tangible as Orion's was.

Honestly, if she hadn't had the photograph of them, Lydia was almost certain she would have forgotten what they had even looked like, their images already distorted within her own mind.

Ellie nodded in understanding, most likely not wanting to argue with Lydia – or maybe she already knew it was a lost cause to try and persuade Lydia to leave and get some rest. She was nothing if not stubborn, Lydia herself was very well-aware of that.

She just couldn't help it, really.

"I'll leave you to it, then. Goodnight, Lydia. Tinker." Ellie spoke gently, nodding at them both as she got up and turned to leave, her footsteps soft against the cave floor.

"Goodnight." Lydia called after her in a soft voice, so she wouldn't wake the ape child sleeping on against her chest.

Blue Eyes had told her that Cornelius had problems sleeping through the night, frustrated that he couldn't seek comfort from his mother in the same way that most apes his age could – that something so natural and instinctual was denied to him due to his mother's discomfort. Instead, he was to sleep in the arms of either his older brother or his father, and while the youngest Ape Prince did clearly find comfort in their embraces, everyone knew that an infant like Cornelius would always prefer their mother's touch. Apes did, after all, rarely leave their mother's side during the first year of their lives.

Tinker hooted softly, gaining Lydia's attention – goodness, she was truly absent-minded today… Maybe she should at least try and take Ellie up on her advice. This kind of negligence was not going to do much good when protecting Cornelia.

It was only then that Lydia realised that the Ape Queen had turned and was staring at them both tiredly, a thin sheen of sweat on her skin glistening in the light from the torches placed around the cave. Sick as she was, Cornelia still managed to give a soft smile, though it looked incredibly strained, even to Lydia.

The Ape Queen eyed her son in the human woman's arms, still fast asleep with his head resting against her sternum and his little hands clutching her coat tightly.

"He feels safe with you." Cornelia signed slowly. Lydia almost wanted to tell her not to try and sign, seeing how the effort of lifting her hands seemed strenuous to her friend. Instead she merely looked down at Cornelius, as if to confirm the Ape Queen's words, before nodding her assent

The sick female ape regarded them with a fond look, though there was an underlying sadness in her eyes that Lydia couldn't help but notice.

"It is a good thing. He will need someone else to seek that feeling from soon…" She continued, making both Lydia and Tinker's eyes go wide.

"Cornelia! Don't say things like that!" Tinker signed urgently, a stern expression appearing on her face. "You must believe yourself you will be okay! Fight for your son…!"

"She's right, Cornelia, you can't give up now." Lydia chimed in, her brows scrunched up in worry at her friend's words.

Cornelia only shook her head at them, a look of resignation overtaking her features.

"I don't want to keep false hope. I know there is no way back from here – the medicine helped last time… But we have none now and I feel worse than I did before… before everything happened." She said calmly. Though her hands were shaking, she still signed in such a graceful manner.

Lydia felt tears starting to prickle at the back of her blue eyes and had to take a couple of deep, calming breaths to keep them back – Cornelius didn't even stir at her irregular breath and heartbeat.

Tinker did nothing to hold back her own tears and Lydia almost envied her the ability to let her sorrow show like that. It was something Lydia still struggled with even now.

"Cornelia… You can't die now. The colony needs you. We need you. Caesar, Blue Eyes, Cornelius… they all need you…!" Lydia spoke in a desperate whisper. "You have to keep trying…"

A shallow sigh left the Ape Queen then, and she looked up at Lydia almost as if she were an innocent child who didn't understand how the world worked – the three of them all knew that couldn't be further from the truth and that Lydia only urged her friend to keep fighting because of how much she cared.

And because they both knew her words were true. Cornelia was needed by so many – her family most of all.

Still, the Ape Queen shook her head at the woman in front of her.

"You know I will not stop fighting. I cannot do that… But you also know you cannot douse a fire with a drop of water, Lydia." She signed carefully. "I am tired. I have fought for long and it has not helped. It will not help."

Tinker whimpered sadly.

"My son is gone, Cornelia. My mate may die fighting the soldiers… And now you say you will leave me too?"

Cornelia shook her head at that.

"Please don't speak like that, Tinker. Rocket is a strong ape. He will not die and you will not be left alone."

There was a deep conviction behind the Ape Queen's words – almost as if she believed that now that she had said it, it was how it was going to be. She reached over to gently grab Tinker's hand after she finished signing, her eyes pleading with her friend not to make this harder on the Ape Queen than it already was.

Tinker only nodded in a disheartened manner, too emotional to say anything else as she sucked in her bottom lip in an effort not to cry even harder.

Lydia was absolutely heartbroken at her friend's words, thinking it was very unlike Cornelia to just… give up like this. This was not how her friend usually was – kind and gracious as she may be, Lydia knew Cornelia was a hardy soul and at least as stubborn as her husband when push came to shove.

Then again, Lydia could also understand Cornelia's reasoning. Yes, she had a mate and two sons to keep on living for, but at the same time, there was only so much one could do when it came to an ailing body, and the Ape Queen had already fought for so long, having been sick even before Cornelius was born.

The human woman had suspected for well over a week now that her long-time friend was not going to get better, but denial had prevailed up until now as Lydia, as well as everyone else, desperately hoped that her body would overcome the illness.

But it was not to be. Lydia knew it, Cornelia knew it… Heck, even Caesar, stubborn as he is, must have realised by now.

The Ape Queen was going to die. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but soon.

It just seemed too cruel to Lydia, losing her mate and then her best friend in such a short span of time.

And worst of all, she knew she wasn't the one who would suffer the most with Cornelia's passing…

Lydia gently squeezed the little ape child currently resting in her arms, staring at the cave floor with glossy eyes.

That's when Cornelia derailed her train of thought by putting a gentle hand on Lydia's knee, squeezing ever so slightly to make the human woman lift her gaze to meet her own. Her breathing was still laboured, and her brow dotted with pearls of sweat, but her eyes, evergreen as the newly unfurled leaves of the forest, were as kind and comforting as always.

"Help my family when I am gone. Help my sons and my husband. Please." Cornelia signed and even though her gaze shifted between her two friends sitting by her, her gaze lingered for longer on Lydia.

The human woman didn't know what she was supposed to make of that fact. Didn't know why the Ape Queen would be so imploring towards her specifically. Perhaps it was because it was Lydia who was currently holding her precious infant, or perhaps it was because tears had now started running down Lydia's cheeks, something Cornelia had never witnessed before, as opposed to Tinker, who had no qualms about letting her sorrow show in the form of tears.

The human woman nodded nonetheless, wiping the moisture on her cheeks away with her gloved hand before laying it atop the Ape Queen's own limb, squeezing it softly.

Her voice was strained as she replied.

"I will, Cornelia… I promise."


Cornelia

Cornelia smiled softly as Caesar came into view and she craned her neck to get a better look at him as he walked over to her with urgency – as he seemed to always do nowadays, perhaps expecting her to pass on at any moment he was gone from her side.

They had talked about this before… or at least she had tried to talk with him about it. How she didn't think she would last much longer, sick and weakened as she was. She had meant what she had said to Tinker and Lydia. She was tired of fighting, willing her body with all her might to finally get better when all she got in return were more feverish nights, bouts of dizziness and fits of nausea.

Her husband would hear none of it, telling her to stay strong and that she should not talk like that, quite like Lydia and Tinker had done – only they had listened, in the end.

Tonight, she would talk like that, though, and he would listen too, even if he hated every word she was going to utter. They could not keep on pretending that everything was going to get better when it clearly wasn't – especially not when even their eldest son seemed to know that the inevitable was fast-approaching.

She knew Caesar took the loss of loved ones with a heavier heart than most, having had his human family ripped from him at the peak of his adolescent years either by disease or by simply having them removed from his life – or rather, him being removed from theirs, as it were.

It was also one of the reasons why he fought with such ferocity whenever those he cared about were threatened, something she had witnessed more than once in their time together.

But there was no one Caesar could fight to make Cornelia better and she knew that was probably what bothered him the most. The inability to do something, anything, to make her better. Her husband was a problem-solver by nature and liked to have control over any situation and yet in this, he had none.

The Ape Queen knew that her mate had already seen his human father waste away at the hands of the disease that killed the humans, coughing blood and gradually getting weaker until one day, his body had given out under the strain. Caesar had told her about the time he had gone back to visit him a very long time ago and she still remembered the look in her mate's eyes quite vividly as his mind went back to that day – a look of utter and irrevocable sorrow and regret. Almost in the same breath, Caesar had also told her that his human grandfather, the man who had named him and adored him like they had truly been connected by blood, had also been taken by disease years before, while they were all in the Ape Prison, though seemingly this one had been a disease of the mind rather than the body.

It had hurt Caesar all the same and that was probably why it pained her so much more to know that her passing on like this would only continue this tragic cycle.

Caesar sat down by her in their shared nest, his brow creased in a mixture of worry and affection as he stared down at her, caressing her cheek gently.

Cornelia sighed at the soothing touch. Compared to the hotness of her face caused by the fever, his hand felt refreshingly cool against her skin, even though she knew he was probably as warm as he always was. The Ape Queen nuzzled into her mate's hand, large and calloused against her cheek, sucking up all the comfort she could before she would have to discuss what weighed so heavily on her heart.

He would definitely not like hearing it, even if she suspected he knew it was inevitable at this point. It was almost like he believed that not talking about it would make it go away, though she knew that her husband was not that naïve.

Either way, Cornelia refused to leave things unresolved.

"You talked with Lydia and Tinker…" Caesar removed his hand to sign, straight to the point.

There was no sense in asking her if she was feeling better, they both knew that, so he had gradually stopped doing so for the last week. She was relieved that she didn't have to answer in the negative anymore, leaving him with a look of defeat on his face night after night.

Some things were better left unsaid.

Cornelia nodded in response, though a look of puzzlement overtook her features. How had he known this? They had only just greeted him in passing, leaving the cave as he entered.

Her confusion must have shown enough for him to realise, for he answered her unspoken question only seconds later.

"I could see that Lydia has been crying. Tinker too. Red eyes. Sad looks."

Ah, of course, that would have been an instant giveaway. Lydia never cried in front of others. Never. Tonight had been the first time Cornelia had ever witnessed it herself and it had pained her that she had been the cause of it. There was something… startling about seeing Lydia with tears in her eyes – she always appeared so strong…

Tinker had cried in front of Cornelia before, so it hadn't surprised the Ape Queen nearly as much as it had once Lydia's eyes filled with tears, which was also part of the reason why she chose to focus more on the human woman as she voiced her plea to take care of her family once she was gone.

Once again, Cornelia nodded in confirmation at her husband's words, though a sad expression now crossed her face.

"We spoke about… death." She signed carefully, gauging her mate's reaction as that dreaded word was formed by her hands. "My death." She elaborated, though she really doubted he would have understood it any other way.

Caesar's eyes were as soft as they were when he first entered the room, but his mouth set into a hard line at her words, his nostrils flaring as he tried to keep his composure.

"Cornelia-" His gravelly voice resonated against the walls, breaking the tense silence.

She knew what he was going to say and put a graceful hand against the side of his face to halt his words before he could utter anything other than her name. He looked almost startled at the move but stopped talking all the same. When she was certain he was not going to protest further, she removed her hand from his face to sign once again.

"We cannot keep pretending, Caesar."

His frown deepened, but thankfully, he remained silent for the time being.

"I know it is not what you want to hear but we both know it is getting worse. Blue Eyes knows it too, I can see it on his face…" At that, she paused, tears springing forth as she thought of the looks her eldest son would bestow on her whenever he thought she wasn't looking.

It was a look of deep sorrow and foreboding – not unlike the one his father currently wore as he followed her hands with his intense, green stare.

The Ape Queen's gaze softened, knowing her husband needed a gentle approach to such matters.

"I need to speak of this, Caesar. It cannot wait, and it cannot be hidden away. Just please, listen…" She paused, choosing her words carefully.

She was getting tired already and her hands felt shaky, but she needed to get this off her chest. The longer she waited, the more difficult it would be to say. Still, Caesar said nothing.

"When it happens… When I am gone… I know you will be feeling lost. You will be alone with our sons, at war with the human soldiers and the colony will be restless. It will be hard for everyone… But you must stay strong, Caesar. You must make a future for our sons. Promise me this…"

Caesar's eyes locked with his mate's as he seemed to weigh her words, analysing them with his keen mind. The silence engulfing the two as he did so was almost suffocating to Cornelia, but she knew she had to wait for him, just as she had had to wait for him to be able to express his feelings to her all those years ago. He needed time to plan his words, as he always did so carefully.

The answer that spilled from his lips was not what she expected – in fact, it wasn't an answer at all.

"You are preparing. To die." He spoke heavily, a pained look in his eyes.

It hurt to hear him say it.

Cornelia felt her bottom lip quiver ever so slightly at his words, yet she refused to let herself be overcome by emotions just yet. Shaking her head softly, she fixed him with the gentlest stare she possibly could.

"I am preparing you for what is to come. I know you, Caesar. You do not handle loss well, and you have many who depend on your guidance."

The Ape Queen sighed, feeling her strength to keep herself coherent slowly ebb away once again. The fever and nausea often came in bouts, giving her small windows of time in which she could function somewhat normally before it washed over her again with renewed strength. These small moments of relief were steadily getting shorter and happened less frequently as time went by, further prompting Cornelia to say what she needed to before she would no longer be capable of it.

"You close in on yourself when you grieve. When your human father died, you barely slept and spoke to no one unless you were forced to. You cannot do that now, Love." She signed slowly, willing him to understand.

It was not often terms of endearment were used between them, but she felt it was necessary to underline her point now.

"I need you to understand that I am not giving up. I will fight until the end, just like I know you would for me and our sons. But… You must prepare for what lies ahead, Caesar."

She didn't need to specify what it was that lie ahead – they both knew that well enough – a future where Cornelia was not by his side.

She reached up with both hands to gently cup his jaw, signalling that she had finished her little monologue and was now waiting for his reply, whatever that might be. He closed his eyes at her touch, exhaling heavily through his nose as his entire posture slumped in what looked like utter defeat. It was an entirely foreign look on her husband and Cornelia creased her brow in worry at the sight.

Despite her increasing fatigue, this was probably the longest speech Cornelia had ever given Caesar and she could already feel how her body was returning to its feverish state with a vengeance. She would not give into the urge to lie down and rest, however, not before he had promised her to do what she asked. She needed to hear it. Needed to know he would continue to be the great leader and father she knew him to be – even if she was not there to support him through it.

At last, he nodded his head, opening his eyes to meet her gaze once again. He looked almost as tired as she felt just then.

"I promise." The words fell heavily from his lips, low and intimate, and he leaned forward to put his forehead against her own, sealing his promise with the familial gesture.

Cornelia released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding and finally let the tears roll down her cheeks.

She knew he would have a hard time keeping his promise nonetheless, no matter how sincere he had been when making it.

But later that night, as her fever took hold once again and shivers racked her being, Cornelia's mind drifted to all those who cared for their little family and she took comfort in the fact that at least her husband would not be alone with his burdens.

And with that thought easing her mind, Cornelia was finally able to fall into a restless sleep, unaware of the intense, green gaze of her husband keeping watch over her.