Although morning, the sky was dark as heavy rain fell in a steady downpour.

Marian stared listlessly out her bedroom window in Knighton Hall, her mood matching the weather. She looked and felt terrible. She had cried so much during the night, her eyes were red with the skin around them swollen. Her throat felt scratchy, signaling the beginning of a cold. But none of this mattered to her. Nothing seemed to matter, with Robin preparing to leave her for war.

How could she stand him being thousands of miles away? She would miss his smile, his kind, merry, honest eyes, his handsome looks as well as his voice. But more than that she would miss his sense of fun and adventure, and even more yet his caring interest in her. Who else would listen to her ideas or concerns? Not even her father paid her spoken thoughts respect, fond of her though he was. Robin truly listened and cared for her opinions, even when they differed from his own. And not only that...he came to her with his concerns, needing her help when he had difficult decisions to make. She couldn't always offer a suggestion...sometimes just a word of encouragement was enough to help him, and Marian felt valued for more than merely her beauty.

But he was going away. Nothing she could say or do would stop him from leaving her to seek glory fighting alongside his king.

Her maidservant interrupted her thoughts by entering the room to tell her, "Robin of Locksley is downstairs, milady. Would you care to see him?"

"No. Yes. I'll go to him myself."

All her listlessness disappeared. Marian wished she didn't look so horrible with her eyes all puffy from crying. But it wasn't the first time Robin had seen her look this way...he had shown her the kindest sympathy and caring once before, after her horse Meadow Dancer had died.

She descended the stairs and greeted him sadly.

Robin's cape was hanging on a peg by the door, dripping wet. Yet it hadn't kept him dry. He was soaked through to his skin. He took one look at how miserable Marian was and gathered her into his arms.

"I'm catching a cold," Marian said, explaining away her appearance with an unrelated truth.

Robin said nothing, loving to hold her while hating to be the cause of all her grief.

Marian loved how they fit together perfectly, with her head resting against his chest. But after a few bittersweet moments, Marian broke away.

The front of her gown was wet from the rain that had drenched his clothing. Longing to touch her, Robin placed one finger at the neck of her gown and lightly traced all the way to her waistline.

"It's a good thing my father is in Nottingham," Marian said, stepping back and needing to speak of anything but what truly mattered. "He might not understand how my gown became wet, when..." She sighed unhappily. "Or perhaps he'd understand all too well."

Moved by her sorrow, Robin reached for her and folded her in his arms again, then bent down to gently kiss her lips.

"I'm catching a cold," Marian warned him again.

"I'll risk it," he said, "if you have no objection."

She clung to him, kissing him as if for the last time.

When at last their kiss ended, Robin remembered, "Your father! I've just come from him, and you'll be surprised, Marian, but he agreed we can be married immediately...today...as long as you want to."

"Married? Today?"

"Yes! Will you, Marian? Say yes!"

Marian didn't know how to feel. She was surprised, but other than that, she only felt numb.

"Why?" she asked, her voice flat. "Why do you want to marry me now?"

"Because," he said, teasing her because it lessened the feeling of dread stealing over him at her reaction, "your wedding gown is all complete! Might as well wear it while it still fits."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, her anger flaring. "Do you think I'll grow fat, or too skinny?"

"Neither, I hope. You're perfect, Marian, the way you are."

He had put on his charming act, the way he sometimes behaved when seeking amorous kisses. But Marian was in no mood to play along.

"Why?" she asked him again. "No games, Robin. No lies."

"I never lie to you!"

"Then tell me...the truth. Why do you want to marry me?"

He didn't understand. Surely she knew his reasons! Hadn't he made his feelings toward her clear?

He loved her. He needed her. And he was fairly convinced she loved him, too. But he answered her, "To make you happy! You were right. I probably won't be back by June. I don't know when I'll return to you, Marian. I might not return at all, but if I'm not killed, I'd like to come home already your husband."

His admission that he might die in battle chilled her. "Don't go at all," she commanded.

He threw back his head, exasperated. They were back to their same argument. Why couldn't she accept he had to fight for their king?

He longed for battle, but he longed for Marian, too. He felt he'd been waiting too long to make her his bride...his wife. He hated that he was the cause of her unhappiness, when all his life he longed to make her happy. He grabbed her left hand and kissed the ring he'd given her.

"When I placed this ring on your finger," he began, his voice choked with emotion, "I thought you understood what it meant."

"It meant a promise," she said coldly, though she felt as emotional as he. "A promise you clearly have no intention of keeping."

"I do! Marian, haven't you heard anything I've said today?"

"It's what you haven't said!"

"Is this some kind of a test? Who's playing games now?"

"I'm not..." She was embarrassed, and showed her exasperation by balling her fists and groaning out loud. She was playing games she realized, testing him to force him to admit he either loved her, or he didn't. His continued silence on the subject convinced her that he must not, even when she knew in her heart he did.

She was being stubborn, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

She wanted to marry him...today, as he'd offered. She wanted to spend tonight, and the rest of her life with him. But her pride stopped her from admitting it.

Someone had to win this battle of their wills, and if she married him now, he would win everything! Nothing would stop him from going to war.

"No," she heard herself saying. "I don't want to marry you, Robin. Not now. Not ever."

"Not...WHAT?"

"You heard me. This happened for the best, I think, this war. You may go in good conscience, Robin. You do not leave me behind. I release you from your promise to me."

She felt herself playing a role she did not want to play, yet she was gambling to hear him say he loved her, and mostly to save his life by preventing him from going. Sliding his ring off her finger, she handed it back to him. "Goodbye, Robin," she said.

"You cannot mean this," he wretchedly cried.

"I do."

Summoning his breeding, he gained control of his emotions. "Very well," he said proudly, grasping the ring in his fist.

"Pardon?" Her voice sounded small in her ears.

"I'm releasing you, as you've released me," he explained. "Goodbye, Marian, and good luck."

She watched in horrified amazement as he threw his cape over his shoulders and walked out her door.

"What have I done?" she whimpered, then collapsed to her knees.

The rain outside continued to pour, drowning out the sound of her sobs.

...

(Note: This is a rewrite of a flashback Marian had in my story You Must Have Had Suitors. That version had more in-your-face emotions...in this story's version, Robin and Marian mask their emotions. Also, I know I must be obsessed, but I mentioned earlier in this story that Marian was planning to wear her mother's wedding veil. The gown Lady Glasson makes for her in this story is the same one she wears when marrying Guy, but the veil is different. I realized she would never toss away her mother's veil as she does when riding behind Robin on the back of his horse in the show at the end of season one. Let's just say a mouse got in and ruined her mother's veil, or better yet, she could not bring herself to wear it when marrying Guy, since she did not want to marry him. Told you I was obsessed!)