Lydia
"Oomph!" Lydia's voice sounded as she slumped down with an undignified thud to sit by Tinker, Ellie and Brook, the latter being in the middle of feeding little Cornelius, holding the small ape child close to her chest as he suckled. Brook's own child, a female by the name of Petal, who was only slightly older than the youngest Ape Prince, was sleeping peacefully in the crook of her mother's other arm.
"Tough hunt, Lydia?" Ellie's voice sounded amusedly, though there was a streak of worry in both her voice and her features. There always seemed to be these days.
"Nah, the hunt was all good, actually. It's the weather I'm having a problem with. Damn near got swept away by a mudslide on the way back home." She replied, regarding her friend with a raised brow before she reached up to continue drying off her tresses with an old towel - something she had managed to bring back from Caesar's childhood home in San Francisco about a two and a half months ago.
Lydia had been drenched by the rain on her hunt, the skies having suddenly decided to open and release a torrent of water as she was looking for deer with Luca and the dogs. It hadn't really made hunting that much more difficult, and they had still returned with a decent catch or two all the same, but the trek home… goodness, that had been awful.
Treacherous mud and slippery slopes, all the while trying to carry a doe and two rabbits, while Luca had been hauling a huge buck along on his back. He had even had to grab Lydia harshly around her midsection at one point to prevent her from getting caught up in a minor mudslide and they'd had to go quite a long way around that particular slope to get past, making their trip that much longer as a result.
They had all been covered in mud and grime, soaking wet and stinky by the time they returned to the colony, but at least they had caught something.
Lydia had immediately gone to clean herself as soon as they got back and had now changed into a clean pair of homemade deerskin trousers and an old tank top – it had been navy blue once upon a time but was now so washed out that it would have been impossible to guess its original colour. It was truly a wonder it wasn't see-through by now, old and ratty as it was.
She wore a thin, grey hoodie over her tank top and a black spare pair of trainers on her feet. The shoelaces had long since been replaced by Lydia with leather chords, and the shoes themselves had been patched up in various places, but they were still comfortable all the same, really.
It wasn't like she used them when she was out hunting, anyway – for that task, Lydia much preferred her light boots, which, despite their age, still served her well, or her homemade boots fashioned from leather and old, scavenged shoe soles.
"But at least the colony won't go hungry tonight." Lydia sighed before ruffling her hair vigorously with the towel, doing her best to rid it of the last bit of moisture still clinging to her dark locks.
"I guess there's always that. Glad you didn't get hurt out there." Ellie spoke with a soft smile on her face, starting to pet Blaze once he came over to rest his head on her lap. The canine seemed to have taken as much to Ellie as he had Alex by now, though he still had yet to completely trust Malcolm. Lydia suspected her dog had had some bad experience with human men before she had found him, though she couldn't be sure – maybe it was just a quirk in him, after all.
Good thing, however, that Lydia had managed to dry off the dogs too before she came over to sit with the others in the corner of the main cave of the colony – otherwise Ellie's pants would be completely covered in dirt, as well as the stench of wet dog.
"All thanks to Luca, really. That gorilla has got a grip like a vice." Lydia answered, rubbing her ribcage absent-mindedly through the sheer fabric of her tank top. She was pretty sure he might have pressed a few of her ribs, but at least she wasn't buried beneath several feet of mud at the bottom of a hillside.
Gotta look at the bright side, Lydia thought as she finished drying off her hair, now pulling out her trusty hairbrush from within her backpack. It had been with her since she had packed up to go at it on her own all those years ago and, admittedly, it had probably seen better days, but at least it managed to get the job done.
Well, it did in Lydia's opinion.
"Argh…" She exclaimed at the first drag of the brush through her thick, dark hair, immediately hitting tangles caused by her harsh treatment of it with the towel before. She should have known this would happen – she still hadn't gotten used to dealing with it herself, even now.
Back when he had still been alive, Roy was the one to deal with her hair most of the time, at least when it came to brushing it and pulling out tangles and bird nests, while Lydia did the thick braid herself. On their journey to Caesar's colony, Roy had noticed her tendency to treat her hair… less than gently, so to speak, her impatience often getting the better of her as she tried to tend to her uncooperative tresses. It wasn't like she couldn't actually do it… it just took longer and was more painful, really.
He had offered to help her one night back then, and he had been doing it ever since.
Goodness, it seemed like so long ago now.
And she still missed him terribly.
Beside Lydia, Tinker hooted worriedly, drawing the woman's attention.
"Do you want me to do that? Lake would be very angry if you ruined it." Her ape friend signed, a teasing smile on her face as she reached out for Lydia to hand over the brush.
The human woman offered a crooked smirk before she nodded and turned so that Tinker would have better access to her hair. She was right, after all – Lake would be very cross with her if she managed to, say, rip out half of her hair, which she was liable to do if she continued like this.
And so, at a much gentler pace, starting from the very tips and slowly working her way up through the dark locks, Tinker set about disentangling Lydia's hair, one stroke at a time.
Tinker was one of the very few who knew that Roy had been the one to help Lydia with this, having been told years ago when they'd had one of their 'girl talks' as Lydia referred to them.
The human woman suspected that this was the reason why, if Tinker happened to come across her while in the midst of this task, the female ape would always offer to help her with it. She hadn't ever done that before – it had always been Lake who was the most eager to get her hands into Lydia's hair, after all – but after Roy had died…
She never mentioned it, though. It was like a silent agreement between them and they both seemed to know the reason behind it. Lydia appreciated that in Tinker. She could be mischievous and downright aggravating at times with her teasing, but she also had it in her to be mindful and quietly supportive of those she knew needed it the most.
And that was exactly what Lydia needed right now – quiet support.
She had had her talk with Maurice about a month ago, and though it had been a harrowing conversation that had left her with a slight headache from all the crying afterwards, Lydia was actually happy that the elderly orangutan had taken the initiative to try and dig beneath her tough façade. It had even prompted her to be more open about it with Tinker as well and truthfully, Lydia felt like their friendship had been strengthened by it.
She regretted she hadn't done it sooner, really. Seeing as she didn't mean to hold it all back from everyone like that, perhaps with the exception of Orion, who she didn't want to burden with her own sorrow. Parents were supposed to shoulder their children's pain, not the other way around, in her opinion.
And honestly, keeping her emotions in check was something she had done instinctively since childhood. It was just how they dealt with it in her family, really. Especially after her mom, sister and brother had died.
"You talked with Caesar at all today?" Ellie suddenly inquired after a few moments of comfortable silence, the only sound to be heard being the muffled pounding of the thick raindrops hitting the earth outside, and Cornelius' quiet babbling-noises as he finished being fed.
It wouldn't be long now before he'd squirm out of Brook's arms and seek comfort from someone else. Someone he hadn't been forced upon, as Brook had put it. She knew it wasn't personal that the younger Ape Prince preferred others over his wet nurse – no doubt he connected being thrust into her arms with how he had been refused the comfort of his mother's.
Cornelia…
"No, not today, I haven't. Why do you ask?" Lydia inquired with a signature tilt of her head, as always quite unaware that she was even doing it until Tinker tugged in a chastising manner at one of her locks. It prompted Lydia to straighten up her posture immediately, a brief smirk playing on her lips.
Ellie shrugged her shoulders.
"He was looking for you this morning before he left for the forest with the others." She informed her matter-of-factly, though Lydia could tell that there was something still on Ellie's mind.
So, she decided to probe.
"Did he say anything about what it was he needed me for?"
Ellie shook her head, sighing.
"Ellie?" Lydia tried again, more direct this time. "What is it you're not telling me?"
The woman in front of her seemed startled by the question, eyes widening slightly as she looked back at Lydia. Then, she seemed to almost deflate as she released a soft sigh, biting her bottom lip gently before replying.
"He just… It just seems… like he could use someone to talk to." She spoke concernedly, wringing her hands in her lap.
Ah, so she had noticed too.
Lydia nodded at that, her dark brows knitting softly together as she thought it over. Caesar had seemed particularly heavy of heart for the past month – and it was no wonder, really. He had lost his wife, for crying out loud. Such wounds took time to process.
Lydia knew this all too well, her own loss still a sharp sting in her heart.
"I'll have a chat with him when he gets back." She promised, a reassuring expression on her face as she looked over at Ellie, who merely nodded in reply.
Though Lydia had talked to him briefly, she had initially wanted to give him some space. Some time to come to terms with the loss and perhaps the chance to approach someone of his own volition instead of forcing the conversation on him.
Perhaps that was what this was about? She could only hope so. After all, most in the colony knew that Caesar was just as private, not to mention as stubborn, as Lydia herself was. It really wouldn't be much of a surprise to her if he was keeping his feelings in check for everyone else's sake, trying to stay strong not only for his sons, but for everyone in the colony.
He was their leader, and he had always taken that job very seriously.
Maybe, in this instance, a little too seriously.
Lydia decided in the back of her mind to also check up with Maurice on the subject. She had often found the old orangutan's counsel to be most helpful – even when she hadn't asked for it at all – or was reluctant to even receive it.
Just then, Cornelius decided that he'd had about enough of Brook's company, wiggling out of her grasp with urgent huffs and gibbering, drawing everyone's attention to him.
He immediately darted over to Lydia, jumping right into her lap before looking up at her with wide, inquisitive, green eyes. He already had the look of his father about him, in Lydia's opinion, his features less fine and delicate than both his mother and his older brother's.
I wonder if this is what Caesar looked like at this age, Lydia thought as a gentle smile found its way onto her face, meeting the little ape child's stare with a tender one of her own.
He was absolutely adorable.
Ellie and Brook both smiled at the scene, and Lydia could hear Tinker chuckle softly behind her. The sound was only amplified by how Cornelius crawled up to Lydia's shoulder, forcing her to support him with her arm as he began mimicking Tinker, carding his fingers through a thick lock of hair.
Apart from the odd, harsh tug now and then, he was every bit as gentle as the ape female he was copying.
"He really does seem to like you, Lydia." Brook signed, nothing but a soft look of amusement on her face as she observed the Ape Prince's antics.
Lydia could do nothing but agree – Cornelius had seemed fond of her since she'd first held him, most times approaching Lydia before he'd even spare a glance at the ape females around him, even Tinker, who was one of his primary ape caretakers now.
She really had no idea why that was the case, but as she felt him nuzzle his little face into her tresses, hooting softly at her, Lydia made a silent vow to always protect this precious, little ape.
The child of her late, best friend and the last little light Cornelia had managed to bestow on this world before she had been so cruelly ripped from it.
He fell asleep in her arms a short while later, clutching the fabric of Lydia's tank top as she continued her conversation with the other females around her.
And still, the rain poured.
Caesar
Later that day, Caesar led the human woman down through the redwood forest with careful steps, mindful of the slippery ground beneath them.
He had approached Lydia the moment he had come back from the forest, where he had been occupied with organizing his apes for the entire day, strategically placing them throughout the forest, sending out scouts and setting up traps and bulwarks of pikes to make it harder for the soldiers to advance. They hadn't gotten that far into the forest yet, and they were certainly nowhere near the colony, though they were steadily making progress and the number of skirmishes kept increasing as the weeks went by.
The first fatalities the apes had suffered as a result had happened a few days after Cornelia's funeral and by now, Caesar had lost about ten apes to the human soldiers – though he estimated they had lost about twice that number.
Each and every one of them, ape as well as human, weighed heavily on the King's heart. He had not wanted this war and yet he felt the responsibility lie with him all the same.
If only he had seen Koba for what he was. If only he had known what the bonobo's hatred would lead to…
He kept trying to tell himself that he couldn't change what had already been done. It was what Maurice had told him and Caesar knew he was right. Only, he couldn't help but ponder on what could have been if he had opened his eyes to the truth before it had been too late to turn back.
"Here…" The Ape King offered Lydia his hand to help her down from a particularly large boulder on their way. It wasn't far from the colony, the place he had in mind being at the very foot of the cliff the apes had made their home, though it was a bit further down the river.
She smiled warmly at him and laid her hand in his larger one, letting him support her as she made her way down the side of the boulder.
They would be able to discuss in private there – a necessity, the Ape King had concluded, since one of the things he needed to discuss with her was not known to the entirety of the colony yet – he had only spoken with Rocket, Maurice and Blue Eyes about it while out in the forest yesterday, and though Caesar knew his own mind was pretty much already set on the decision, he still wanted Lydia's opinion on it as well. She might not be on the Ape Council, but she was a dear friend and someone Caesar trusted with his life.
Besides, she did have an uncanny ability to complement Caesar's ideas with observations of her own, often pointing out flaws and coming up with solutions that the Ape King would never have thought of himself.
True, she was a passionate, hot-blooded woman and could be reckless at times, but Caesar knew in his heart that everything Lydia did, she did for the sake of those she loved – much like the Ape King himself, in fact.
Also… He felt it necessary to pry a bit more into exactly what had been said between her and Red a few days ago. Their little talk the day after he, Grey and the other apes following Koba had disappeared had been brief and, quite frankly, vague at best. He knew she had been angry at what Red had said about Caesar and his leadership, as well as what he had said about Roy – whatever that had been.
But he could sense there had been more to it. Something that had gotten under her skin. Something Lydia wasn't telling him, though it had seemed important.
He hadn't pried then, not wanting to push her too far and risk her closing up again – Lydia actually pulling him aside like that to talk about something that bothered her was a step in the right direction, and the Ape King didn't want to stump this progress. Didn't want her to withdraw and continue the vicious cycle of keeping her feelings bottled up inside in the name of self-sufficiency.
So, he had waited. Given her time.
They passed through the very edge of the forest near the riverbank before Caesar made a sharp turn to the right, rounding the edge of the mossy cliffside until they were almost at the water's edge at the stony shore.
She hadn't approached him again about the subject, so Caesar had decided that, since there were other matters he wished to discuss with her in private, he might as well also take up that topic – worst that could happen was that she would refuse to talk about it. At least then, the Ape King would be able to take comfort in knowing that he had tried.
Lydia, though visibly curious, said nothing as he led her towards the side of the rockface, pushing aside a few thick, overhanging roots from the trees on top of the cliff.
Taking her hand again, he pulled her up to stand on top of a large rock, revealing the entrance to a small space underneath the cliff.
"So, this is where you go to think these days, huh?" She commented as she stepped inside with him, taking in the scenery around them as they entered the unilluminated cavern.
It wasn't exactly a cave, per se, but it offered shelter from the rain and was reasonably well-hidden for when Caesar needed his peace. When he needed to organize his thoughts after a long day, or when he could not find rest on those long, cold nights - the latter being the more frequent of the two as of late.
The roof above was but a large outcrop of the cliff which held the caves of the Ape Colony further up-stream, and most of the opening faced out towards the rushing river, leaving only the very edge as an actual entrance for Caesar and his human companion. Furthermore, the view across the river was partially obscured by the roots of trees on top of the cliff, providing privacy as well as an enclosed, intimate atmosphere that the Ape King appreciated.
It felt safe and secluded. Removed from the world and all the problems it held for him.
"It is… peaceful here." He offered as an explanation, his voice deep and gruff as he followed her gaze around the place.
Lydia nodded in understanding.
"Yeah… Not so much peace and privacy up in the colony. Even in the middle of the night." She spoke quietly, seemingly not wanting to disturb the tranquillity found in this small, isolated cavern.
Caesar appreciated her consideration.
"That is very true." He answered just as quietly, the sound more of a low rumble than anything else.
He then inclined his head towards the flattened plateau near the water's edge, indicating for them to take a seat there.
As she had done thus far, Lydia followed without question and sat gracefully down in a cross-legged position beside the Ape King once they had made their way to the spot he had chosen, the river's water lapping at the edge of the stone floor as it gushed past the cave.
None of them said anything for a while, simply enjoying this rare sense of peace in a time of strife and uncertainty. It was something Caesar knew Lydia would appreciate like few others could, which was another reason why he had decided to bring her here for the discussion he wished to have.
Lydia was the first to break the silence, speaking in a calm, pleasant voice.
"So… What did you want to talk about? Ellie said you had been looking for me."
Caesar nodded and folded his hands in his lap
"That is true… But you had already. Left by then." He replied with a soft shrug, showing her that he hadn't been irked by the fact. They were both very busy nowadays, after all. "But I wanted to talk about. A few things with you… Hear your opinion."
She nodded for him to go on, her signature head-tilt in place as she regarded him with curious, deep blue eyes. She had left her hair down since Tinker – and Cornelius, he was surprised to discover – had brushed it out previously today. Now, it fell gracefully around her face, down her back and over her shoulders, a dark frame around her pale features.
Coupled with her relaxed pose as she sat in front of him, it was the most at ease Caesar had seen his human friend in weeks and he silently reprimanded himself in the back of his mind for not taking her down here sooner – she, of all people, could use a quiet retreat from time to time – a break from the responsibilities weighing down on her, now that her hunting for the colony had become more important than ever.
Caesar cleared his throat before he spoke.
"First, I wanted to ask… Could you train the apes? To use bows. Like you do with. Malcolm and the others?"
Lydia looked surprised at first at the Ape King's question – or rather his request, as it were.
"The soldiers… Their guns can kill. From far away… We cannot match that. With spears alone…"
"So, you're asking me to help you gain access to a more… long-distance based weapon, correct?" Lydia asked, her brows knitting together in thought. She didn't seem to be rejecting the idea – merely to be curious as to how Caesar wished to employ her skills.
The large ape nodded at that.
"More silent too. And precise… It will not draw attention. As easily." He elaborated further.
It was not because he had a specific wish to kill – he merely wanted his people to have the proper means to defend themselves and their home. Besides, it would be a useful skill in the future as well, once this war was over, as the apes would have a new hunting-method at their disposal – something Caesar already wondered why he hadn't seen the opportunities in until now, really.
Lydia seemed to understand all the same.
"I suppose I could teach those willing to learn… but where are we going to get the extra bows from? I got mine by scavenging while still alone on the road all those years ago…"
"We must make them." Was Caesar's simple answer.
They couldn't very well go down to the city and look for any bows and arrows that the human colony might have left behind and besides, even if they did manage to find one or two, it still wouldn't be nearly enough to supply even half of Caesar's fighting force. Pathetically far from it, in fact. The only option left was to make them by hand – a task Caesar knew would take much precious time and effort – but what other choice did they have? They needed a wider variety of weapons, preferably something for distanced fighting, and Lydia was practically an expert in that field by now.
Not to use that to their advantage would be foolish.
"That sounds like a lot of trial and error… I mean, I don't know how to make them, Caesar." Lydia commented, a tired look already appearing on her features at the mere thought.
The Ape King hated the thought of overworking his dear friend by pushing more and more tasks and responsibilities onto her like this, but he also knew she was no stranger to going by trial and error – she had told him so herself – and he also knew that she wouldn't refuse him in this. She wanted the colony safe as much as anyone else did.
"We will select a few. To make some and test them… With Koba's followers gone. Less time can be spent patrolling." Caesar reasoned.
At the mention of the apes who had followed the misguided bonobo, Lydia's demeanour seemed to change. She became slightly tenser, and her gaze redirected from Caesar's face and onto the stone floor beneath the two of them, almost as if she was… ashamed? Rueful? Contrite?
He honestly couldn't tell… maybe it was all three of these things at once, really.
And even though these changes were so minor that someone who did not know her might have completely missed them, Caesar could easily see it for what it was …. He had known her for a long time now.
"That sounds like a good plan. Fine, I'll train whoever needs to learn, and I'll also help testing out the bows being made, alright?" She seemed to become aware of her outward appearance and tried to school her features as she spoke, but it was too late.
Caesar had seen, and now, he wanted to know. She wouldn't have reacted like this if it didn't still affect her.
"Yes." He nodded, discreetly studying Lydia as she forced her body to relax again.
The Ape King waited for a few minutes before asking the question he knew she would dread to hear. He hadn't questioned her further when she had pulled him aside the other day to tell him, partly because he had already been delayed by the discovery of Grey and the others having left, and partly because he had been able to see on her face that it had been a more… sensitive matter. Something she hadn't wished to discuss out in the open, if at all.
He just had to try now.
"Lydia…" He started out tentatively, watching for every miniscule muscle movement in her as he spoke his next words. "What did Red. Say that day? Precisely."
She sighed at his question, seemingly having expected it, and shook her head at him.
"Listen Caesar, can we not talk about that? He's gone and so is that conversation. Good riddance."
"It is still bothering you." Caesar persisted, his eyes continuously darting across her features, looking for any signs that he was right – of which he found plenty. "I only wish to help."
Lydia bit her lip at that, refusing to look the Ape King in the eyes and choosing instead to study her own fingers as they twisted uncomfortably in her lap.
In the end, though, after a long while of him just staring imploringly at her, it seemed that she decided to talk, and though the words that came from her then were spoken so softly that they might not have been uttered at all, hearing them was like getting a pail of ice-cold water splashed into his face.
"He asked me if I wanted you…" She said, almost as if the words were something not meant to be spoken. Something shameful.
Caesar himself almost did a double take at them.
"He… He what?" The Ape King asked, bewildered.
"Red asked me if I wanted you… Like I did Roy…" Lydia's fists clenched in her lap as she said those words, so harshly that her knuckles turned white, and her voice took on a shaky, vulnerable quality Caesar rarely heard from her.
Honestly, the Ape King didn't know what exactly he had expected, but it certainly hadn't been this. No wonder Lydia had been reluctant to talk about it, especially with Caesar himself, of all people.
The sheer nerve of that gorilla…
And yet, even as he sat there, baffled and already indignant on Lydia's behalf, nothing could prepare him for her next words.
"He said it must be the reason for my loyalty to you… that I wanted to be your… your pet." She said the word as if it was the most disgusting thing ever to have spilled from her lips, with vehemence in her voice and hurt in her beautiful, blue eyes.
Then she finally turned her gaze back to the Ape King, her mouth set in a grim frown.
"A pet like I was to Roy… That's what he said, Caesar…" She looked at the Ape King like he had physically hurt her by making her repeat those words. "You see? You see now why I had to yell at him? Why this makes me uncomfortable? He had the gall to insult my dead mate! To demean our relationship to something like that… And on top of that he made me feel afraid to be alone within the colony! In my home!"
She wasn't yelling, but her tone was harsh, even if Caesar sensed that her distress wasn't exactly directed at him – though he knew that she hated having to tell him about it.
Caesar reached a large hand over and placed it carefully on top of her own, covering it with his palm as he sighed heavily, trying to make sense of the information she had just provided.
He could see why it upset her. What Red had said had been presumptuous, invasive and downright insulting. Had anyone spoken to Caesar like that about Cornelia, he would probably have done way worse than just yelling into their face… Especially such a short time after her death.
Then again, unlike Lydia, Caesar had the physical strength to retaliate with violence, letting out his rage and actually having a chance of emerging from the fight as the victor.
Lydia had probably had to worry about even surviving the encounter in the first place...
The Ape King squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"We both know it is not true. What he said." He spoke resolutely, his tone soft but with a confidence in his own words that left no room for argument. "What you and Roy had. Was equal to any mated couple. Among the apes… Red had no right. To question it."
It was true. After all these years of knowing them, it had been obvious to anyone who cared to look that Lydia and Roy had been deeply in love – or perhaps it was the fact that Caesar himself knew exactly what it was like that made him able to see it so clearly in them. Either way, he stood by his words.
Their love had been true and pure and could not, should not be mistaken for anything else.
Lydia nodded, and Caesar figured she was too upset to say anything in return for now. So, he contented himself with just sitting beside her and do his best to be a comforting presence to her. For Lydia to be scared – and to admit that she had been scared – would be enough to tell Caesar how seriously Red's words had affected her, no matter how untrue.
At that thought, Caesar's mind returned to the first thing the human woman had said, and he found himself torn between letting his blood boil with anger on Lydia's behalf over the impertinence Red had displayed, and the need to satisfy his own curiosity regarding that very question the gorilla had asked…
He managed to keep the urge to inquire at bay for quite some time, though Caesar attributed it to the fact that he was actually nervous about asking rather than to the strength of his own restraint.
In the end, however, he simply had to. He needed to know.
"Was he right about… you and me?" The Ape King ventured, finally daring to ask what he knew she had so far consciously avoided answering. "Do you… want me?"
For a brief moment she looked startled. Uncertain even, as she stared up into his green-and-golden eyes. The Ape King kept his face carefully neutral as he met her gaze, giving nothing away – he just wanted a straight answer.
After a while of them sitting like that, Lydia sighed ever so softly and reverted her gaze back down to the large hand covering her own, turning her limb so that she could run her thumb gently across the back of his large, calloused fingers.
It felt nice.
"You know I do…" She spoke so quietly he almost didn't hear her over the sound of the river gushing past them. "But… I can't right now… It- It's too soon."
Caesar nodded solemnly at the human woman in front of him, his lips pressed into a thin line as he too looked down at their joined hands. Her pale, hairless limb seemed so dainty and fragile as it laid there, encased within his large, dark one. And yet he knew she was anything but those things.
Lydia was a strong, independent and selfless female. One he could easily picture himself with. If he was honest with himself, he had done so on more than one occasion, no matter how many times he had tried to prevent his mind from straying into that direction. He had been with his wife and in no position to act on what he had then perceived as a persistent impulse triggered by base desire.
It was so much more than just that, he knew. It always had been.
And now, he was free to act on it.
Only…
"It is for me as well…" He spoke heavily, releasing a laboured exhale through his nostrils as he did so. Then he raised his gaze to stare intently into her eyes, doing his best to convey exactly how serious he was as he spoke his next words. "But I feel the same… Know this, Lydia… I want you as well."
She smiled then, a soft, knowing and barely-there smile that Caesar couldn't help but return once he saw it.
"Perhaps one day…" She trailed off, tightening her grip on his hand ever so slightly, as if sealing a promise.
He nodded once in firm confirmation before he turned to stare at the river once again.
Quiet fell over the two of them again after that – a comfortable, easy silence that Caesar could only find with few others.
He would look forward to that day, when the wound caused by Cornelia's passing was no longer as tender, tugging at his abused heart by the mere mention of her. When it no longer felt like an insult to her memory to let himself love again.
When he was ready to completely give himself to another once more, he would do so to the human woman sitting beside him now – of that, the Ape King was certain.
Suddenly, Lydia spoke up again, her voice taking on a thoughtful tone.
"You know… I'm not entirely sure what his intentions were but… remember how I told you about Red getting… close at one point? After I yelled at him for insulting Roy?"
Caesar turned his face ever so slightly towards Lydia to indicate he was still listening. He wasn't sure where she was going with this, but he had a feeling that it was something significant – and something he wouldn't like.
"Well… I basically told him the truth… about Roy and me, I mean, and after that he seemed almost… I don't know…" She struggled to find the right word, Caesar could tell by the way her brows knitted together and the slight frown that appeared on her lips.
He waited patiently for her to find it.
"It seemed like he was… eyeing an opportunity. Like he wanted… something." She finally chose to say. Then she turned her face fully towards the Ape King again. "He scented me too. I could tell that he did."
All the muscles in Caesar's body immediately tensed and he struggled very hard at that moment to not growl out loud at this particular piece of information. How dare he?! To approach a female like that, be she human or ape, and insult her so grossly, only to make such a bold advance only moments later when he learned the truth? And so soon after her mate's death to boot!
It wasn't only because Caesar thought it highly inappropriate that he got this riled up about it, however. What he had said earlier had been true – he wanted this woman, and at the mention of another male approaching her like that stirred something primal and possessive inside the Ape King.
Red was lucky Caesar hadn't been there to witness it…
"Anyway, nothing else happened. He left rather quickly after that." She waved her hand, the one that wasn't currently being held by his own, in a dismissive manner – probably sensing his simmering anger and trying to calm him down again. Then she looked over that the Ape King from the corner of her eye, a careful smile on her lips. "I just thought I'd tell you everything… Since you wouldn't take no for an answer."
At that Caesar had to smile as well, despite the possessiveness still boiling in his gut. He knew he was as stubborn as they come and that it wasn't always a pleasant thing to be subjected to this particular trait of his. Though he knew that in this instance, it had been beneficial – he was just glad Lydia didn't seem as upset about it anymore.
It was good to talk about things like that. To get it off one's chest and he would gladly shoulder her troubles, no matter his own problems.
Deciding to leave the uncomfortable subject of Red in the past, Caesar moved on to one of the main reasons he had brought Lydia down here in the first place. The thing he had spoken with Rocket, Maurice and Blue Eyes about yesterday.
"There was something else too. That I wanted to discuss with you."
She nodded for him to go on, seemingly relieved to be done with the previous topic if the softening of her features was anything to go by.
The Ape King drew in a deep, calculated breath before he spoke.
"The apes… Cannot stay here. We need a new home. Away from this war… Somewhere they will not. Think to follow." His voice seemed to resonate against the cavern's walls.
Unexpectedly, Lydia nodded at his words, a thoughtful look on her face once again.
"I agree… The soldiers will find us eventually – we can't stay here forever."
Caesar's eyes widened at that. He had expected her to see reason in what he said, but only after arguing to stay. She loved this forest as much as the apes did, he knew that.
"I thought you would disagree. This forest… it is our home."
"My home is wherever the apes are… wherever Orion is." She answered truthfully, a quick, fond look crossing her features at the mention of her son – her pride and joy – and the last family she had left now.
And that was exactly the reason why he was feeling so apprehensive about this conversation.
And why he had wished to discuss it in private, as well.
"Yes… About Orion…" A look of uncertainty overtook Caesar's features then, the chimp being very much aware that what he said next might not sit well with Lydia. "Blue Eyes will be. The one to go. And he told me that. He will ask Orion. To join him on the journey. To find our new home. Together with him and Rocket."
A pregnant pause followed the Ape King's words as Lydia sat completely still, clearly processing what he had said, as well as the implications behind it.
Caesar knew he was asking a lot of her. Her hunting was already one of the colony's main sources of food right now, she was training Malcolm and his family to fend for themselves on the road and she had been charged with helping to protect the colony in Caesar's daily absence.
And now, he was also asking her to accept being separated from her son for goodness knows how long as he went on a perilous journey to secure the apes' future.
Honestly, he had expected Lydia to protest. To tear her hand from Caesar's grip and curse at him for the continued strain he put on her – heck, he might even have expected her to just get up and leave right then and there.
None of that happened, though.
She was still sitting beside him.
Still silently contemplating his words.
And still with her hand softly grasping his own.
Caesar studied the woman carefully, growing steadily more concerned as she neglected to react to his words. After a long while, he almost wished she had begun arguing – any reaction would be better than this eerie silence which kept him very much on edge.
Then, at last, a heavy sigh left her, and she seemed to deflate as she spoke.
"I suppose he can't be my little boy forever…"
For what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening, Caesar was taken aback by Lydia's words, and his mouth fell slightly agape as he regarded her.
"You accept this? Just like that?" He asked her in a tone that conveyed his surprise.
She rolled her eyes at him, almost as if to tell him he was being silly for asking.
"He's almost a grown ape by now, Caesar. I can't very well keep making decisions on his behalf, now can I?" Lydia spoke as she raised a slender eyebrow at the Ape King. Then she seemed to grow more sombre again, lowering her gaze to the ground once more.
"He needs to get out and try things on his own, eventually – I'm just glad that Blue Eyes and Rocket will be with him… Although… It is going to be very quiet without him here…"
Caesar nodded solemnly at that – he knew it was going to be a lonely time for her, and there would be no way of telling when or even if they would be back. It didn't sit well with him to let his own son venture out on such a dangerous journey any more than it did Lydia, especially not so soon after Cornelia's passing.
But he had reached the same conclusion as Lydia, in the end. Blue Eyes was nearly a fully-fledged adult ape now, and either way, it would at least keep him away from the increasingly more violent skirmishes with the soldiers this way.
"I know I ask. Much of you… I apologise for this." The Ape King spoke sincerely, doing his best to convey just how sorry he truly was for making life even harder for her – he remembered all too well how she described her loneliness back when she had just left her human colony and he was loath to subject her to something like that now – even if he knew she had the whole colony to rely on this time, he was very much aware that it wouldn't be the same thing as having her son with her.
Lydia only shrugged at his words.
"I assume it's because you trust me, Caesar." She spoke easily, a tender look in her deep, blue eyes as she regarded him. "And as long as that's the case, I really don't mind."
How could I do anything but trust this woman? The Ape King thought as he looked at her in much the same manner she did him, tenderness all too clear in his green-and-gold speckled orbs.
Not much else was said after that – didn't need to be said after that. He had heard all he needed to hear and told all that he needed to tell and now, all that was left was the comfortable, easy silence which usually prevailed on those nights when they had sat together in the past.
It was the most relaxed Caesar had felt in months.
He still hadn't let go of her hand.
