Chapter 79 Close

Sorry again for the long delay, the amount of work even though we're working online is quite huge. Hopefully, things will slow down soon and I can update more regularly.

Hope you are all staying safe and not too bored if you're under lockdown! Hopefully, my story will help.

A heads up - this is the last but one chapter in Phase 1: Childhood. There are 3 phases in total. So, plenty more chapters to come.

Please leave a review if you can. It would really spur me on to know you are enjoying this story or even if you're not (so I can improve my writing).

Daryl

It was late morning – almost noon and I could tell that by looking at how high up the sun was in the sky. I'd woken up crying in my sleep due to another nightmare but with no Merle to kiss them better. Or to make me forget them in those ingenious, special ways of his. Thinking about those ways, I felt my mouth widen into a happy grin before I frowned. Damn, they were back! Worse – as soon as I tried to clear my mind and go back to sleep, another one replaced it.

And I was still so damn tired.

I wasn't overly worried about Merle's absence, thinking maybe he'd gone out to get us some supplies. Nevertheless, I frowned in annoyance – just like before – my big brother was never there when I needed him most – had left me to face Dad and take care of him by myself again. Fuck knows, I should have got over my fear of him by now - asshole was tied up, no threat.

Yet I found myself I shivering in dread at the thought of going in there and cleaning him out, watering and sandbagging him (more than the asshole deserved) even though we'd made sure he couldn't get to me. It was long past the Dixon's lunchtime and this made it my turn. Probably. The bastard was cunning – and I couldn't help being afraid that he'd got loose somehow and was just waiting in there (with that satyrish smirk that I'd grown to hate) to pounce on me? 'Cos for sure he'd fuck and kill me this time. Just breathing the same air as the sick perve was more than I could take.

And he was stopping us from moving on someplace new. Getting on with our lives.

I don't know why that was but Merle said so.
I clenched my fists in determination because we hadn't given him anything to eat since yesterday lunchtime. Of course, we'd given him regular water – splashed it down his throat from a bottle – 'cos last thing we wanted was the old bastard dying on us. Not when we hadn't finished having our fun with him yet. But I wish it would be over soon - I couldn't take it anymore even though Merle seemed to be enjoying the whole thing.

Us having power over him for a change.

We went in there several times a day to bring him scraps of food and water and let him relieve himself in the bucket which we immediately emptied. Merle had asked me why we bothered – why shouldn't we let the filthy old bastard stink in his own shit? 'A fitting punishment', he'd said but I'd insisted.

I couldn't stand the prospect of the filth and stink every time we went in here if we didn't. Incredibly, he was still smug and believing himself to be superior as he sat there in that chair, securely bound by his hands and feet.

I did my best to scare him, sometimes it worked. But Merle was the one he flinched at seeing. He was too busy indulging in dirty thoughts whenever I was close, evident by the bulge in the front of his jeans. I would snort and turn my head away in disgust but his smirk would just grow bigger. My 'father' knew he was getting to me.

But that all was all going to change very soon, I thought with grim determination.

I quickly got dressed, grabbed a hoodie on the way out,the bucket, water and some of our leftovers and walked into the yard, gritting my teeth. However, I was no longer affected by the old familiar fear of my father and unease I always felt when walking towards our toolshed knowing what was waiting for me inside. I was too angry with him, but also partly with my absent brother as I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves as I opened the old, wooden door that was almost swinging off its hinges.

I let it deliberately bang against the wall to show I wasn't intimidated.

However, I got a big shock when I looked in because the bag covering his head had slipped off. I should have realised then that something was wrong. And he was looking so sly... I just thought that he probably wasn't too happy about having his face covered and that knowledge could come in useful later.

Asshole didn't like it now that I was dishing back some of what he'd forced me to take from him for months. Like when he used to crawl on top of me to have his way with me for hours. Bound, gagged and blindfolded on my own bed, just like he liked me best. I shook off the memory and focused on the present as I edged closer and closer to him after I put the bucket and food down.

How he'd manage to get it off, I would never know. Can't say I really care either in that moment.

But I really, really should have.

His hungry eyes immediately sought and seized mine. I didn't drop mine like was my habit with him but held his gaze unflinchingly.

'G'morning asshole. Time to wake up, bastard.' I snarled at him.

'Well, lookee here who's decided to pay his old man a visit, huh? And all on ya lonesome. Ya been missin' me already, son?' He drooled out the last word and leered at me.

I glared at him.

'He fucked ya yet?'

'What?'

'I mean for real this time.' Now he drawled out that last word and let his tongue waggle hideously in that creepy way of his.

When I refused to answer, he said, 'It's only a matter of time, boy. I know my boy Merle. He's a randy son-of-a-bitch jus' like his ole man.'He laughed cynically.

'He ain't nothin' like ya, wouldn't do nothin' unless I wanted him to.'

'That's how it is now. Give him some time when ya keep on shakin' ya pretty little head at him.'

'What the fuck ya gettin' at?' I humoured him although I was laughing inside. If he only knew the things I had let my brother do to me already...

'Well, he knows how good ya are with ya hot little mouth. Not to mention he's already been half inside of ya already. I saw him, remember? Before ya tied me up in here. Unfortunately, I passed out in the middle of him stretchin' ya out. Or did ya drug ya Daddy, you bad boy?' He grinned, apparently not angry with me but the very opposite.

'Ya did, didn't ya? It's OK, ya can tell him.' (he meant himself) 'Did you two boys go further than that after?' He added curiously.

I finally laughed in his face because he really didn't know. Or even suspect.

Best of all, he'd missed out. 'Ain't tellin' ya shit.'

Based on his next words, he still didn't twig or he was pretending not to – I don't know which and I didn't much care.

'He ain't gonna forget ya hot, sweet little mouth in a hurry, ya know. And ya, my sweet little slut,you won't forget how good it felt when I touched that sweet spot of yours with my fingers.'

I felt dizzy, sick. Because I had liked what he did to me – that one time. Remembering the needy moans my own father forced out of me – sounds that I was powerless to stop. And the involuntary movements of my own body betraying me - making it seem like I wanted more.

'Don't need my brother for that, ya sick fuck.'

'You'll just wait and see about that. Looking hot, son, sucking down that cigarette of yours. I bet Merle will want to ravish ya and pound ya into the ground when he sees ya lookin' like that. The apple don't fall far from the tree, sweetheart.'

'Don't call me that! And shut the fuck up, told ya, he ain't nothin' like ya! And anyway, ya ain't in no position to talk, should be pissin' yaself in fear by now if ya knew what me and Merle had planned for ya.'

'How can ya scare me when you're scared yourself, boy? Even though I'm stuck in this chair - can't hurt ya, can't touch ya, you still shakin' and tremblin' like a leaf. Like a prissy, little girl.'

He lowered his voice confidentially.'Ya know I can get to ya, even when I'm not touchin' ya. Been havin' any bad dreams about me lately, son?' He asked, his voice dripping with fake, saccharine sympathy.

'Fuck you!' I screamed at him in rage because, like always, he had come close to the truth. Too fucking close. Of course, not really surprising since he was my father and I was his son and he knew me inside and out.

In more sick ways than one.

An unwilling shudder passed through me, not unmissed by him, of course.

He sneered at me knowingly as I hissed back at him, 'You're mistakin' my anger for fear of ya worthless hide. I'll gag ya only to drown ya fuckin' screams. We don't want the neighbors to come a-runnin' now, do we, Dad?'

I smirked at him and he smirked right back (we agreed on something for once) because we both knew that would never happen, even if they heard blue murder going on. 'Who knows,with luck, ya might not live much longer.' I threatened him.

'Ya jus' all talk, baby boy. Ya ain't got it in ya. Too sweet.' But for the first time I glimpsed what looked like fear in his eyes and I felt a surge of cold satisfaction.

'Ya wouldn't do nothin' to hurt ya old man, would ya, son?' He wheedled.'Cos you're a good boy, unlike Merle. Why do ya think I chose ya?'

I lunged at him at first but drew back at the last minute when he carried on, for some reason transfixed by his words. His voice had turned gentle now, the soothing tone he used to use on me whenever I got upset.

And I wanted - no, needed - to know why he'd done it to me.

'So pure and innocent, jus' beggin' to be taken. Still so beautiful – inside and out.'

'Shut up!' It was all just too much. Now he was giving me his twisted reasons why he'd done those sick things to me and not to my brother? Worse - no way could he have heard Merle say those exact words to me unless he had somehow and was just repeating them to mess with my head! Otherwise...the alternative was too creepy to consider!

He smiled back at me gently with a concerned fatherly expression on his lying face. 'It's true.'

'Don't say that!', I screamed at him in rage and horror.

Infuriatingly, he stayed as cool as a cucumber and chuckled while grinning filthily at me. I feared when he looked afraid of me before had only been a fleeting moment of shouldn't be acting so cocky like he was.

He carried on assaulting me with words this time, pouring filth upon me and I did my best to tune it out. Worse - he was doing it in that same lilting, fatherly voice he'd often used on me while he pounded inside me with no regard for my comfort.

It had been meant as a punishment, after all as he loved reminding me every fucking time.

I let him continue. Maybe I was curious and not a little alarmed because I needed to find out why the bastard was looking so pleased with his damn self. He really didn't have any reason to from where I was sitting.

Well, joke was on me. Pondering all of this, I stupidly turned with my back to him to get his water and scraps water - only for a split second - and heard the chair crash to the floor behind him. And before I could curse myself, I felt his muscular arms clamp around me in a tight bear-hug and heard him crooning every single sick thing he was going to do to me in my ear.

I struggled and twisted in his arms, desperately trying to free myself even though I knew from bitter experience that it would only make him harder. 'Get the fuck off me, ya sick piece of shit!' I screamed at him.

He only laughed at that and shook me from side to side like I was a weightless piece of straw. Or a straw doll which I guess I was to him. 'What did I tell you, son? Never, ever turn ya back on someone or somethin' ya don't trust.'

It felt like my insides were about to come up through my throat in my terror. All I could do then, knowing that he held me fast, was utter 'Fuck' in a low whisper full of panic.

I realised with a sinking feeling that nothing had really changed. He was on top and I was back underneath him.

Both literally and metaphorically.

'Not so cocky now, are ya boy?' He hissed in my ear.

'How did ya manage to… No! Don't fuckin' touch me!'

He only replied to this with that horribly familiar creepy laugh of his, and forcefully pressed me up against the workbench. I knew what was coming next if I didn't put a stop to it. I could, I told myself, because I had my brother and he knew. But he wasn't there!

I told myself that I was stronger now. Yet apparently, still to much 'boy' to fight him as he tore my shirt off me within milliseconds. I cringed when I heard him panting sleazily behind me in anticipation. Unbelievably, he whistled low with admiration at the sight of the marks and bruises my brother had left on my skin during our last making-out session when things got a little rough.

'Well, well, well, them bruises on those sexy hips of yours ain't from me for once. So he did fuck ya then?' He breathed in disbelief before he backtracked. 'Did ya let him or did he have to make ya?'

He didn't bother giving me time to reply. Apparently, didn't care.

'I guess 'No' and 'Yes'', he corrected himself excitedly. 'Cos he must have forced ya by the look of those marks and he ain't been too gentle with ya neither, huh, boy?'

I said nothing but was trying to get some leverage to buck him off me. I was out of luck facing his girth and strapped muscle.

'No, not again!' I said but only in my 't want him to hear and get off on it.

'I guess ya beloved brother ain't so different from me after all. He's a rough son-of-a-bitch when he's horny, is Merle.'

'Ya don't know shit about him.' In my rage, I let the truth slip. 'Merle didn't force me, didn't need to.'

Luckily, he didn't seem to hear - too busy mocking me and groping everywhere frantically, ravenously. It was clear that all he had been thinking about since we tied him up was getting his filthy hands all over me. Sick fuck.

'Ah, poor baby. Don't lie to protect him.' He mocked as his hand slipped down my pants while the other cupped and squeezed my ass, gently for once. 'Did ya big bad brother hurt ya? Is it worse than with ya Daddy?'

Apparently he was listening.

'No! Get off me!' I struggled desperately while he kept on taunting me and resisted the urge to call out for my brother. Wouldn't have done any good anyway, I sensed that he wasn't there. Would have only brought down more ridicule on my head from the bastard anyway.

'I bet he made ya sore. I know he randy asshole likes it rough. Don't worry, I'll take it easy on ya, baby.' He paused to run his fingers down my crack and despite myself, I let slip a little moan and backed onto him. Hating myself as I did so.

'What did I tell ya?' He crowed. 'You do miss me!'

'Go to hell!' I renewed my struggles, wondering why he was doing all this and not just getting on with it. But I knew the bastard had self-control - a lot of it, when he wanted to.

He was really savoring my predicament and having power over me once again. Enjoying piling on the humilation and shame.

'You don't want to do this.' I went 'Oomph' when he groped me hard and I jumped when he twisted my nipple painfully. 'M... M...M...Merle'll be back anytime s...soon.' I tried pathetically.

He just laughed and mercifully stopped messing with me. 'Talkin' of that boy, how are things between the two of ya after he had to force himself on ya?...Who ya gonna turn to now next time ya scared and cryin' jus' like the little pussy ya are?'

I froze at that because once upon a time it had been occasionally to him. To my Dad. With horror, I felt my eyes tearing up and frantically wished them to stop. He had my arms pinned and it wasn't like I could wipe them away. I just prayed that he wouldn't see.

'Screw you. I ain't no pussy and I ain't scared of scumbags like ya! And I don't ever fuckin' cry, neither.' I snarled back with more bravado than I actually felt.

I knew he was sneering just like he didn't believe me. Or maybe he knew I was on the verge of letting my tears fall. He'd brought me to the point of weeping more than once many times no matter how much I resisted. And he was right – I was lying, even now my body was trembling, betraying my terror and he could feel it against him.

Like it always did.

'But ya will be in a minute, son, I promise ya, 'cos this time, sweetheart, ya kept me waitin' too long.' He crooned in my ear with his hands moving more urgently all over my body. Worse – I could feel his hardness growing, pressing into me, letting me know just how excited he was getting.

Luckily, he was too busy molesting me to notice my hand sliding closer to the wrench on the shelf nearby. While he was distracted and licking his lips as he went to pull my pants down, I swung it at his head. Got in a direct hit too as I saw the person I hated more than anyone in the world fall down like a sack of potatoes.

But he wasn't out. Even with the blood dripping down his face from a big gash on the side into his eye, he was still leering at me with the other one. His limbs were jerking like he was trying to grab me again! He was trying to speak - say something sleazy no doubt!

'Fuck you! No! Never again!' I screamed and dropped the wrench and started to pummel his face with my fist before he could react. Fucker was still groggy but I couldn't afford to underestimate him.

And once I started laying into him, I couldn't stop.

He kept smiling, not even grunting in pain until just before I finally beat him seemed to take ages. Even then I couldn't stop myself - it just felt too good to make the bastard take some of his own medicine and not to be a helpless victim for once. Luckily for Dad, Merle came in just then and found us. Dragged me off him, kicking and screaming.

'Stop! Ya killin' him!' I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise at that. Since when did he care about our father?

'So?' I answered coldly but I had stopped trying to get at Dad and Merle decided then it was safe to let me go.

'So? What he say to ya to make ya so mad?' He looked at me curiously with narrowed eyes but I didn't want to tell him what the bastard had said about him about having to force me. I might not be able to trust my own brother fully still - might have little freak outs whenever we were together but he was all I had. He was the only thing right then that stood between me and walking off the cliff into Crazyland.

Merle made me come back to my senses to our father with blood dripping down his face and his eyes closed.

'Did I kill him?' I breathed as a shard of ice twisted my heart. But then I noticed his chest moving up and down as he breathed despite the blood dripping down from numerous cuts on his head confirmed he still lived.

I gave out a surprised, shuddery breath of relief. Blood was literally all over my hands and splashed over my bare chest.I thought I'd wished him dead so many times lately but when it came down to it, I still apparently cared for him.

Our father was slumped there with his head bent to one side, his face a bloody mess of bruises. He'd have one black eye that he could see out of when with luck when he awoke and his jaw along one side was black and blue. Had I really done that? But then he'd done that to me and worse more times than I could count since I couldn't remember. Still, I didn't know that I had it in me, I just saw red, I guess.

Merle whistled high in his throat and looked at me admiringly. 'Well done, little brother. Looks like ya did a real number on him. Feelin' any better now ya got it all out of ya system?'

'Yeah.'

He ruffled my hair and enfolded me into his arms. It took me some time for my rapidly galloping heart to recover but the bastard was down and looked like he would be for some time.

For some reason, I couldn't make us move and secure the bastard and as I stood there staring down at him, I couldn't help the nervous little laugh that escaped me.

Unable to stand looking at our bleeding father any more, I buried my head deeper in my brother's chest while he held me tighter. It had been so close.I knew that if Merle had been at home and if he had known I was in trouble, he would have done anything to save me. On cue but too late as usual, the shed door had opened and he ambled in just the nick of time.

His eyes had been wide in shock, darting between Dad on the floor and me, shirtless. His surprised expression soon turned into concern as he noticed my bewildered state.

He was swaying on his feet, but for very different reasons from me. He was shit-faced drunk. It came as no surprise, but it still made me look up and narrow my eyes in annoyance at him.

'How the fuck did he get loose? Did he get ya?' He checked me all over and frowned at my hoodie and shirt lying crumpled on the floor. He knew that I would never have gone in there without being fully dressed. I shook my head. 'Close. I hit him before he had the chance to.'

'That's my baby brother.' He grinned drunkenly but there was a kind of brotherly pride in his expression because I had finally managed to fight Dad off. All by myself.

I frowned in reply because I was still angry about what had nearly happened. But we had to move fast, wouldn't put it past the old ox to recover any minute - bastard was tough even though I knew deep down that it was impossible. Even for him. Yet my deep, ingrained fear of him persisted, nurtured by his unpredictable violence over many years.

I pulled out of Merle's arms and he reluctantly let me go. I took hold of the pervert's and motioned for him to do the same with his legs. It was far too crowded in that tiny shed. He obeyed but without cheery team spirit, 'Why're ya in such a pissy mood, anyways?', he asked dazedly.

'Take a wild fuckin' guess, moron. And ya fuckin' drunk again. You take somethin' as well?' I couldn't help snap at his drunken (and drugged?) stupidity even if it was only temporary.'Yeah, I know. But ya got him, so no harm done, right, bro?'

I snorted and glared at him as we carried our father to the chair between us. We were struggling because the old fuck weighed considerably more than either of us and he'd put on a lot of weight with his almost constant drinking.

'Don't go in there without me, next time.' He ordered.

'I shouldn't have needed to! Do ya know what he nearly fuckin' managed to do before I hit him?' I paused, enjoying the sudden shocked and guilt-stricken look on my older brother's face because he knew exactly what I was talking about.

I had finally managed to penetrate his drunken haze to make him realise the seriousness of what had nearly happened. Because the sick bastard would probably kill us next time, after he'd had his way with me of course, for what we'd done. No way was he gonna let this go.

In future, fuckin' tie him up better!' I snapped at him. 'You must have gone in there before me this morning.'

'Yeah, I did. Fed and watered his sorry ass then emptied his stinking shit out while you were still grabbing ZZZ's.'

I kicked at our father half-heartedly. 'More than he deserves.'

We'd sat him back in his chair by then and I decided I would be the one to tie his hands and his feet to its arms and legs, not trusting my dumbass, drunk brother who had done such a poor job of it before. I also tied his torso to the back of the chair with extra rope we found for good measure – we couldn't afford to be slack and take any more risks. I gagged him and was about to put the blindfold back over his head but my brother stopped me.

'Leave it.' He pushed my hand away.

'Why?'I turned to look up at him with a curious expression on my face but he only smiled gently back at me. It was only later on that I figured out why he wanted Dad to be able to see.

'Why?' I persisted but Merle only shrugged his shoulders then, feigning nonchalence in that careless way that infuriated me sometimes. However, he was also baring his teeth in a secret little grin.

'Maybe you would've done a better job if that mush ya have for brains didn't only care about where the next party is at or where ya gonna get ya next lay.' I accused him.

'That ain't fair.'

'Leaving me alone with that bastard is?' I immediately regretted the pathetic neediness in my voice as my eyes burned again with more unshed tears.

Dad was right, I was a pussy, I'd been scared and yeah – I still fucking cried when no-one was around sometimes. Especially now that the nightmares about him had resurged. So? Sue me.

Merle dropped his act then when he saw how upset and still -shaken I was. 'Hey, come here. I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop him and for getting' drunk. It's jus' all this...', he waved his hands to our father who was snoring heavily like a hog then – 'It's gettin' to me, bro.'

He took the few steps closer to me before he hugged me to him again. 'But ya didn't need me, did ya, little brother? Handled him jus' fine all by yaself.'

'I fucking froze, Merle!' I breathed into his shirt as I melted into him, couldn't help it while his arms were holding me safe. 'It means he can still get to me!' I hissed.

Merle nodded reassuringly like he understood and every once in a while, he would stroke my back soothingly and Dad's sick words gradually faded. Even though I knew deep-down they were true.

'Yeah, but then ya fought back. You're already one tough son-of-a-bitch. What the hell ya gonna be like after all this is over?' I couldn't help smiling even through my tears because what he said about me seemed ridiculous under the circumstances.

But he continued, 'Badass for sure, that's what. Makes me hard just thinkin' about that, little brother. And you're all ready for me, already got ya shirt off. And ya must've slept in so long this morning 'cos of what we did last night…'

I smiled a little against his chest at that, I could tell that he was proud of me. I loved the way he could lighten my mood in an instant.

'Fuck off,' I muttered but as a joke and playfully punched his chest while he hugged me harder to him. It was one of the reasons why I loved my brother because there was never any need to explain jokes to him, we had our own secret language, maybe even our own code.

When he pressed a feather light kiss to my forehead, I felt these feelings of love and belonging increase, spreading like a warm glow through my chest. And even Dad there in those very cramped and close conditions couldn't stop it. Far too close to Dad to feel safe and normally, I would have been first out of there to get as far away from him as I possibly could.

Merle wasn't lying about being turned on either - I could feel him against me. But I didn't know how to feel, it was all so new. Some part of me whispered that it was wrong to have these feelings for your own brother but I pushed it away. Thought I had got over that already.

Anyway, I also felt flattered that it took so little to get that reaction from him, that he found me so hot. Fuck the rules, I told myself. Dad certainly hadn't given a shit about them – hadn't thought that what he was doing to me was wrong. Or maybe he had but done it anyway, so why shouldn't we?

I guess he sensed my confusion as he let me go and turned back towards our father.

'Now that was something I can get used to. Seein' 'im laid out flat on his back like that for once. At our mercy.'

'I know, only problem is there ain't enough should be bleedin' jus' like he always wanted me to', I mused quietly to myself.

Merle gave me a funny look but then I hadn't told him all the sick and twisted details of Dad's 'punishments'.

He drew in a deep, shuddery breath and I sensed his rage. 'I'll make it all go away, baby brother, don't ya worry. After we get into it and I get ya all warmed up and you'll be wanting more, ya won't care. Promise.' He paused and winked at me. 'Come here.' He ordered.

I looked at him in disbelief and glanced at comatose Dad fearfully. 'Ya serious? In here? Now?' He had let me know more than once that doing it in front of Dad was an ultimate fantasy off his that he was determined we would fulfill.

But I felt myself melting when he licked his lips and playfully leered at me. He was right! Just like whenever he promised me, I felt myself getting hard – right there in front of our unconscious father! Or maybe even because of him!

Because everything he had said was true, he had fucked us up for life because now I wanted my older brother, even if he was my own flesh and blood.

Daryl

He smirked as if he could read my thoughts before he held me gently as he whispered in my ear, 'Now, I ain't gonna hurt ya or force ya.' He crooned at me in a sing-song voice, paying no mind to our father.

'I'm jus' gonna make ya come so hard to blast a hole through that wall!' Dad all but temporarily faded into the background.

My breath hitched in my chest with excitement at his words (I knew he meant them) and I started to breathe a little faster.

But not because I was scared.

As if to prove his point, he backed me up against the same workbench that I had been pressed up against earlier, under very different circumstances (the irony wasn't lost on me) and kissed me. In return, I wrapped my arms needingly around his neck as I kissed him back just as hungrily. I knew that it was seeing me beat the shit out of Dad that got him going.

He brushed his hand briefly downthere – so fleetingly that you might have thought it was accidental. But I knew my brother better, especially when his smirk grew even wider when he realised that I was just as hard for him as he was for me.

I blushed in embarassment, while surprised at myself – thought that after everything the sick fuck had done to me and everything I'd done with my own brother that I'd be past all the shame by now.

I pulled away then, looked down at the floor and then glanced shamefacedly at Dad again.

But he gently tilted my chin up. Looked into my eyes. 'It's OK. I know. Don't mind him.' He whispered and jerked his head in Dad's direction. 'What we do - and how it makes us feel...It's only natural.'

Then he slipped his tongue into my mouth again, even deepening the kiss when I didn't object, didn't complain - 'cos damn that was some kissing. With him showing me how much he wanted me in front of Dad for real.

He wasn't joking.

He suddenly grabbed me tightly (possessively) by the tops of my biceps and slammed me almost brutally against the shed wall. It was hard enough to make the air whoosh straight out of my lungs. Definitely hard enough to leave bruises on my arms the next day. And it was a narrow space in that small building, we were all so close together and it was so difficult not to brush against Dad, if not to literally fall into the bastard's lap.

Merle took a second pause and tipped my head up as if checking something and nodded to himself, looking pleased. Before I knew it, I was on that soft floor made out of soil and he was tearing the rest of my clothes off (the ones Dad didn't pull off me earlier). He had picked me up (didn't take me against the wall like he promised) and thrown me down there in his haste. Probably more bruises (I sighed inwardly) but I didn't really mind and I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. But I remembered Dad had forced himself on me the first time facing the wall.

But Merle wasn't to know that.

I found myself on that earthern floor, right opposite our father and my brother was on me within seconds, kissing and caressing me all over.

And damn us both to hell, Merle was right. All my worries and the guilty feelings and shame because of what we were doing with each other when I thought I was over it already flew right out of the window. And when Merle began to touch me more with his usual expertise and I started to pant and moan with want for him, I almost even forgot that the fucker was there.

I knew on some level that even at that late stage that he still needed confirmation that this was all right with me and that I wasn't going to freak out. He took his own clothes off next when I didn't object. It was pretty obvious he was loathe to let me go even for the few seconds this took when he grabbed me but this time by my hips immediately time quite roughly but I didn't mind, no, I didn't mind at all. I'd probably have bruises in the same places like after with Dad but I didn't care. Especially when he started to grease me up with the bottle of lube he just 'happened' to have him.

Despite myself, I was moaning and writhing against his fingers when I turned to give him a funny look. 'Ya came prepared?' I panted because he'd found my sweet spot.

He didn't answer but grabbed my hair, pulling it back almost painfully before he attacked my neck and I moaned. Because his fingers were still grazing that sensitive spot inside me. Circling it again and again until I felt like I couldn't take any more pleasure.

'I always come prepared when it comes to my little, sweet, hot baby brother.' He replied arrogantly and continued kissing and nipping at my throat. 'Ya ready for me?'

I nodded.'Ready.'

He fingers inside me stopped moving!

'Get the fuck on with it, Merle. Jus' fuck me, will ya!' I barked at him and I could sense him snigger behind me as he withdrew his fingers to ease something else entirely into me.

I whimpered at this part but pretty soon he was pounding me into earthen floor which shook with each of his thrusts and my cries were mingling with his. I was writhing and moaning after the initial pain. No longer thinking clearly enough to worry about anything or anyone - just like my brother had promised me, no - maybe I was actually even hoping the asshole would wake up and see us.

Daryl

When we got our breath back after we were done - we must have both dozed off, I suddenly jerked out of my satisfied daze and lifted my head from my brother's chest when I saw Dad there!

Merle pulled me back down to him again. 'So, we finally did it in front of him.' He laughed. His lack of concern only worried me more. 'Sh...Wanna do it again?' He leered exaggeratedly at me while his hand wandered up higher on my bare thigh and he started to rake the delicate skin with his fingernails, getting close and closer to... I closed my eyes and sighed because when he touched me like that...

I forced myself back under control. 'Merle! What did we jus' do? Here, in front of him?'

'He's still asleep, don't worry. Never woke up after the beatin' you just handed out to him. Must've felt good after takin' it from him all these years.'

I looked up at him anxiously. 'He didn't wake up? Ya sure?' I lifted my head cautiously and checked. Dad was still apparently out of it. Or maybe he was just pretending but I knew deep down he could never hold back crowing if he had been awake the whole time and got what he wanted.

I shivered, getting a serious case of the creeps while I reluctantly checked Dad's bonds. Satisfied, I turned back to my brother.

'Still, let's get out of here.' I balled up my clothes and Merle reluctantly followed with the bucket, broken plate and scraps of food that had gone everywhere when Dad attacked me and locked the door firmly behind us.