Phase 2 Youth

Chapter 81: Eric

Well, that's the end of Phase 1, Childhood. I hate to say it but I felt quite sad when Daryl finally killed off Dad. He was evil but also such a complex character with some good in him (but by the end, hardly any). I was also kind of getting fed-up with writing the abuse scenes and wanted to write Daryl happy (really happy) for once but at the same time, I had to give enough detailed background to explain how and why and who he becomes. But then there's the threat of the cops or others finding out what Daryl did looming over the horizon. I really hope that they don't get found out...If someone really deserves to catch a break and find love and happiness, it's Daryl.

This story is by no means over yet and there's a lot more exciting stuff to come. But I really hope that Daryl can get over what happened and finally find some peace. However, as always with the Dixons, I don't think the path in front of them will run smooth.

No, in fact I can almost guarantee things won't be easy for either of them. The cops will prove to be the least of Daryl's worries...

P.S. The Bridgewater in Georgia is fictional. It is not meant to represent reality.

Please leave a review if you can and you like this or even if you don't. I would really appreciate it.

Daryl

I caught the glass in mid-air. He smirked at me in approval. 'Look at that, reflexes of a cat.'

'What the hell, Merle. Ya throwing stuff at me now?'

'Yeah well, you better watch that fuckin' mouth of yours!' He went back to frying the bacon.

'Or what?' I grinned, hoping he was going to 'punish' me. Again. Even in the middle of cooking because I suddenly had a very different type of hunger.

'Cat-like reflexes huh? That suits ya just fine, sissy pussy-cat that ya are.'

'Tell that to Dad. Oh no – ya can't no more because at least I had the balls to finish him off.' I laughed at my own dark joke even as it sounded fake to my own ears.

Merle was fuming and banged down the pan with the bacon hard on the counter before he started plating it up. Along with the eggs, beans, grit and buttered toast and it didn't take a genius to see his anger in his flushed face and glittering eyes. I felt a little guilty for riling him up but not enough to stop.

'Whacha pissed at Merle? I mean, really? Pissed that I was the one to do it and not you?'

Despite all your promises.

'Watch it.' He growled dangerously. 'No. Glad ya did.'

'Then what's the problem?'

'I'm pissed that ya did it sloppy, how the fuck are we supposed to clean that shit up? There's even blood on the wall five feet up for fuck's sake.' He bad-temperedly plopped my breakfast in front of me. I was ravenous despite the unappetising conversation topic of Dad's corpse and tucked in straight away.

'Ya mean the mess in our old good-for-nothin', piece of rottin' crap toolshed?' I replied in between mouthfuls. 'What do we need it for anyway? Let's empty it and burn it down.'

Merle shrugged his shoulders. 'OK. Let's do it tomorrow, first light. But we need to get rid of his body - make it look like an accident.'

'Why not burn it down with him in it?' I shoved another heaped up spoonful of beans into my mouth. 'Ain't nobody but his buddies - and they ain't been coming around that much lately since he... he...started...' I couldn't even say it but it didn't matter, my brother understood judging by the grimace on his face.

'I tell ya, Merle, no-one is going to give a shit about a Dixon going missing. Especially an old drunk who hardly left the house towards the end.'

'I don't want to take any chances. We ain't going down for that piece of shit, not when we're finally free of him.' I stared back at the brother I suddenly no longer recognised. Was this new decisive Merle taking charge and thinking about the future really him? I found myself getting hard as I thought to myself, well, for once he's sober at breakfast and that always helps.

'And when the cops come sniffin' round, we need a convincing story.' He continued. 'They gonna be all over us, we're Dixons, remember? Pieces of shit, scumbag rednecks. They'll get a warrant and see we just burnt our shed down.'

'Yeah.' I signed, not really seeing his point but reluctantly agreeing. 'Shane's Dad is jus' itching to catch ya doin' somethin' you shouldn't be and put ya ass back behind bars.'

The Sheriff had it in for my brother, not surprisingly. I didn't think he was that bothered about me - I was still a kid in his eyes the same age as his son, Shane. Not worth the bother. But everyone knew how badly my father used to beat me - wouldn't that be good motive?

I had hoped that no-one would give a shit including the cops.

'Yes. And if we suddenly leave, we'll look guilty as hell.' He paused and looked over at me closely. 'Come on, he's dead, what ya mopin' about?' Merle noticed that I was feeling a little dejected, beating my own father to death had proved to be a disappointing anti-climax in reality the next day when the adrenalin finally faded away.

'N-nothin'.'

The corners of his mouth rose slightly at that, and he left his meal to advance on me. I backed away then because not being able to read the expression on his face made me feel a little alarmed to say the least. But he didn't stop, just grabbed me hard and shoved me up against the wall in our kitchen.

'Merle, w...what…'

'Come here, boy. Let ya big brother take care of ya. Make ya feel all better.' He whispered urgently his usual chat up line that never grew old always got me excited. Then he pressed his finger to my lips.

'Better watch that sweet little mouth of yours, I said. 'Cos it can get ya into a lot of trouble.' He took his fingers away and kissed me then, deep. 'Like this. Looks like ya big brother's gonna have to punish ya again. Ya did murder ya own Daddy after all.' He put on a regretful voice.

I trembled at his threats to 'punish' me and I kissed him back just as needily. In the heat of the moment and mainly to get rid of the Dad's final words echoing around my head, I found my hands slipping under his shirt, sliding all over his chest. Finding his nipples even and kneading them gently like I knew he liked. He gasped.

We pulled back from each only to catch our breaths. 'He's really dead, huh?' Merle burst out laughing. I couldn't help but copy him. We both laughed in shock, relief and dread of what I'd actually done.

Daryl

'I guess we're not leaving, then?' I asked my brother as we lay naked on his bed, him holding me afterwards as usual. (I'd already washed the sheet covered in my bloody handprints from the night before)

Dad's blood. I shuddered.

'No. What's the point?' He replied. 'We got free rent here, the only good thing that bastard ever did for us in the end.'

I sighed inwardly but in some ways I was content. I was OK with staying for now that Dad was gone and besides, it made sense.

'I got my friends here and you got ...' He paused. 'What have ya got here, exactly, Darlena?' He teased, his eyes gleaming.

I scowled and looked away, thinking: You mean your drug dealing and pimp buddies and your junkie skank 'girlfriends'. And that mysterious job you do when you come back with sports bags filled up to the top with cash?

But maybe there was one thing I had here, Eric. If he ever came back from Italy. Of course, I didn't mention him to my brother but I could really do with a friend too. Shane and Andrea had left for college (I laughed at the image of that dumb jock with his face in a book, trying to study)and anybody who stayed (most of our class), I couldn't give a shit about as long as they left me alone. She'd gone back to Atlanta and I was probably never going to see her again. Didn't stop me wondering about her sometimes though. She was the only girl in the class who hadn't treated me like I was some kind of freak unlike her boyfriend, the Sheriff's son.

'Fine. Let's stay.' I shrugged although I wasn't thrilled though to stay in that house with all the bad memories and maybe Dad's ghost hanging around.

'You're gonna be 17 in a few weeks. I got some real birtheday treats planned for ya.' He changed the subject and my mood all at the same time.

I turned around and grinned at him. 'What treats?' I was clapping my hands like an eager child for Christmas and stopped in embarrassment when I realised what I was doing.

'Wait and see.' He was chuckling at my reaction.

'Merle...what treats?' I whined and looked up at him with imploring puppy dog eyes, begging him to tell me more.

He could never resist me when I looked up at him like that under my lashes. 'Well, first there's this.' He pulled me to him and kissed me gently. I did the same and melted into him, my breathing suddenly becoming ragged.

'Then this...' He started to pull my T-shirt over my head and laid kisses all over my chest and stomach.

Daryl

Eric turned up a few days later and he looked good when he came into the living room. I mean, really good. Gone were the brown horn-shell glasses that turned him into a dweeb at school and I guessed his eyes weren't really that bright green and that he must have been wearing contact lenses. His hair that was darker than mine – so dark that it almost looked black was gelled up into stylish spikes.

He'd also filled out and bulked up just over few months during the summer. He'd also grown taller and I enviously found my eyes drawn to his biceps despite myself. I wondered if his body was natural if he had to work out. Flushing, I quickly shifted my gaze and took his face in instead. His eyes – bushy bright were standing out of his tanned face which was even darker than its usual olive tones and I could tell that he had done well for himself. He was and looked like almost a man now while I wasn't so sure about my own appearance. Did I look the same to him – still on the skinny side, just not covered in cuts and bruises? Would he still want me if things came to that?

The other question was, what was he doing back here?

I found out pretty quickly.

Merle was the one to let him in while I stretched out on the sofa, reading a novel. Yes, we did have some books in the house, believe it or not and both me and Merle can read. It was a Western and the chapter I was reading was about breaking-in horses. I found that part quite fascinating actually without knowing it would come in useful far down the line.

My brother raised his eye-brows at me as he grudgingly led Eric to the living-room. He'd been on his way out to one of his various girlfriends. Which one was the flavor of the month now? Kirsty? Jennifer?

'Who the fuck are you?' He'd been rude from the word get-go, probably sensing that there had been something between us although he had never met him. Although he may have recognised him from a distance for all I know.

'Merle! Stop bein' an ass. This is my old school friend, Eric.'

'Oh, is that all he is?' Was his bitter and sarcastic reply as he brushed past him rudely.

'What the fuck's that 'sposed to mean?' I yelled after him while he'd stormed out. He didn't even answer but he slammed the door instead.

'Sorry.' I smiled sheepishly at my uncomfortable visitor who now looked like he wished he hadn't come. 'Pay him no mind...my brother's under a lot of stress from work.'

'He got himself a good job, then?'

I was lost for words momentarily. 'Yeah…he does odd jobs here and there. Sit down.' I motioned towards our sofa. 'Want a drink?'

'What ya got?'

'Tea, coffee, beer, vodka or whiskey on the rocks?'

He laughed then. 'Why not whiskey on the rocks for old times' sake? Ya look good. I don't know...more relaxed, happy or somethin'.'

I grinned because it was true. Dad was gone and I had my brother.

'So, do you. You been on the beach 'cos ya got a tan?' He looked chic also in his expensive (I guess Italian?) well-cut business suit.

'Yeah...I stepped off in Thailand before I came here.'

'You lucky bastard.' I punched him playfully on the arm and grinned. I wasn't even sure where that was but it sounded cool.

'So, what ya doing back here? Not that I ain't pleased to see you.'

'I came back mostly to see my folks. They missed me. He didn't add 'And you, too.' But why would he?

'That's nice.' I said what was expected of me. Unlike my brother, I could do that. Fit in.

'I heard about your Dad. Any news about what happened to him?'.

'Well, he jus' upped and disappeared one day...Merle thinks he fell down drunk in a ditch somewhere and never got up.' I'd got our story off pat by now. 'Was never found anyway.'

To back it up, we'd thrown his body down over the side of one of those steep mountain paths into a ravine leading to our town. He'd already started to stink and mottle blue. Not too far away – somewhere within walking distance to our house anyway. Odds were that he would never be found but if he was…Maybe we could even direct the cops that way if it came to it without making ourselves look suspicious. But hopefully by then, his body would be beyond recognition and they wouldn't know he'd had the shit kicked out of him before dying.

Eric looked serious and brought me back from worrying thoughts. 'I'm sorry.'

'No need to be, 'cos I sure ain't.' I snapped more harshly than I meant to. I was still prickly when it came to talking about that dead asshole.

There was an awkward pause between us while we looked anywhere but at each other. No doubt because Eric was remembering the time when I ran to his because Dad beat the crap out of me and I was literally in fear for my life. He'd tended my wounds and let me sleep in his room...even then there'd been something between us. Unspoken but something charged. And they'd been rumours about him being gay – maybe that even both of us were together - he'd been my only friend in school and somehow he'd always turned up when I needed someone. Merle couldn't be there for me all the time but Eric had been there when Mr Rogers lost it with me and I'd run out of the classroom.

I filled the silence by going out to the kitchen to pour our drinks.

'So, ya still live here with your brother?' He asked when I came back in.

I shrugged and handed him his glass. 'Yeah. Dad's gone but he left us this house. Ain't gonna turn down free rent. Least the bastard could have done.'

'Yeah, I remember. He beat ya up pretty badly that night, didn't he?'

I shrugged. Wishing he wouldn't talk about the bad times. My brother always tried his hardest to make me forget them.

'All in the past now. Jus' sayin' that my life got a whole lot better after he disappeared. Anyway, I ain't asked ya about yours...you here on holiday?'

'Not exactly...'Sposed to be here also for work. Branching out my family's olive oil and wine business.' He chuckled. 'Not sure this is the right place to find buyers though...'

I laughed. 'Nah. Folks round here can't separate their wine from their oil.'

He grew serious then. 'True. I was planning on opening up a store in Bridgetown and thought I'd look you up on the way.'

'It's great to see ya.' I sipped my whiskey and looked over at him, again admiring what I saw. I sensed what he really wanted to ask me if I was still into boys or if that impulsive kiss had been just a crazy one-off because he was leaving and I didn't want to be left behind.

But we skirted around that particular topic and just made idle chit-chat. It was only on our third or fourth whiskey that I dared to probe a little.

'So, ya got a girl back in Italy?' I spoke casually, leaning back on the sofa.

'Lord, no. I ...I ain't that way... Was with someone but it didn't work out. You?'

I chuckled. 'Single at the moment...'

'Do you...' He cleared his throat nervously. '...I mean...' He looked down abashed and nervously twiddled his thumbs.

'I can swing both ways but been with men mostly up to now. Girls are OK though...I'd like to get married and have kids one day though, maybe...' I didn't want to admit that at nearly 17, I'd never been with a girl. Not there was much choice where we lived anyway.

'I remember that perve, Mr Rogers. Did he ever get fired?'

'No. But I heard he ended up in a coma in hospital with brain-damage...seemed like he messed with the wrong boy and his family took revenge.'

'Did he ever recover? He still deserves it, by the way. He was a real creep.'

'Still there as far as I know. They're waiting for him to wake up.'

I grimaced and turned away briefly.

'Yeah.' We were quiet for a while, just remembering things.

'Ya remember my last day? Before I left for the summer?' He looked over at me with his eyes glittering.

'Yeah...' I smiled.

'I still think about it...I never kissed a boy before...never kissed anyone. Ya were my first.'

'Me too.'

'Wanna try it again?' He inched closer to me, the drink making him bolder than his usual shy self.

'We can do.' I pouted at him. 'Maybe.' I turned away flirtily.

'When's ya brother back? He know?' He reached out and stroked my bare arm to draw me back and I shivered at his touch. He was admiring my new biceps although they were nothing to his. Then he brushed my long fringe off my face.

'That I'm bi...yeah sure. He don't give a shit.' Not exactly true.

Eric frowned as if he was going to disagree but thought better for it. Then he leaned forward and wrapped one hand round the back of my neck and pulled me forward into a kiss.

It was like we were falling back in time. The day Dad decided he could do whatever he wanted to me no holds barred but I shoved that memory aside. Eric wasn't to know what he was bringing back to me by his words.

After a while of heavy petting and more whiskey verging on too much (whiskey, that was), we were getting hot and heavy. He started to shyly undress me while looking up at me hesitantly. 'You OK with this?'

'Sure. But let's go into my bedroom.'

'I never been to ya house.' He giggled as we stumbled up the stairs. Barely got there as our legs tangled up with each other's as we carried on kissing and touching one another. 'It's different from what I expected.'

'Clean and tidy?' I couldn't help being a little pissed-off.

'No - I mean – thought it would be dark and gloomy somehow.'

You have no idea, brother. While Dad was still alive it was, I thought at him but of course, didn't say. It sounds corny but it was true – the atmosphere had lightened and brightened after he passed. We could open the curtains and windows as much as we liked for one thing.

Didn't stop me worrying about his vengeful ghost, though.

We finally, somehow got to my room, kissing and touching the whole time it took – my room which by the way, I never slept in when Merle was around. It was always in his bed with him...but Eric wasn't to know that. The other thing that made it even better was that Eric had already seen my scars and knew the score. I didn't have to explain it to him or maybe suffer his suffocating pity.

'Jus' one thing.' I reached for the condom in my bedside drawer. Always had a supply just in case. 'There's one thing I don't do' and I told him. 'You OK with that?'

'Sure.' He shrugged and grinned. 'Jus' take it easy on me, will ya?' He joked.

'Nice and slow...Jus' tell me when ya ready.' I reached for the small tub of lube, which I also always kept handy by the bed.

'Where did you learn to do that'? He gasped when I used one of Roger's tricks on him while preparing him.

'I been around.' I chuckled at the same time hoping it didn't sound bad.

But Eric was enjoying himself too much to care. Thrashing around and moaning.

I'd always wanted to do it that way and see what it was like and it was even better than I ever imagined. I enjoyed being in the driving seat for a change and not having to worry about the part I hated the most was the best.

But still not as good as it was with my own brother.

What did that say about me and him?

Daryl

'Daryl!' I could hear my brother bellowing from downstairs, waking us out of our blissful doze after sex.

'Oh no.' I groaned while my old school friend stirred beside me.

'Should I leave?' He asked timidly. 'Will he have a problem with me bein' here?'

I shook my head. 'Jus' hide.' I pushed him under the covers. 'Don't mind him.'

'Daryl! Where are ya, boy?' He was clumping up the stairs, four at a time it sounded like. He sounded excited and I prayed that he wouldn't say anything to embarrass me – let Eric know what we did with one other when we were alone.

'I'm with someone!' I called out before he got to the top. 'So, get lost.'

'Girl or boy?' He refused to take the hint, of course, as he burst open my door. It didn't have a lock. Dad would never have allowed it and I never felt like I had to have one since he was gone and it as just me and my brother.

He just stood there glaring at me and I grinned back at him, knowing he was crazy jealous. It would make for amazing angry sex later when he proved to me again that I was 'his'. I smiled deep inside, looking forward to it.

'Who ya got in there with ya, huh? Is it that boy – Eric?'

'So, what if it is? You don't fuckin' own me!' I yelled back.

Eric stuck his head out from under the covers and gave my brother a small wave full of embarrassment. 'Hi. Yeah, it's me...Sorry about this.'

'Ya better be. Get the fuck away from him.' My brother advanced on us while I glared defiantly up at him and put my arm around the other boy.

'Look, I don't want to cause any trouble...I'll go.' My friend stammered sheepishly and I didn't blame him because Merle could be a real intimidating son-of-a-bitch when he was angry. Especially when he was in full-blown jealous/protective big brother mode.

Merle cut him off rudely. 'I told ya to get the fuck out.'

Eric started to leave but I laid a restraining hand on his arm to stop him. 'Don't. Ya don't have to.'

I turned back to my furious brother. 'You fuck off, Merle. You have girlfriends so why can't I have someone?'

'That's...that's different...' Now he looked abashed.

'Leave us alone!' I grabbed for the nearest thing which happened to be a paperback I was reading and threw it at his head. He ducked and growled at me. Even ran at us and I threw the next nearest thing that I could reach - my boot from the floor.

It bounced harmlessly off his head and we laughed despite ourselves. That stopped him in his tracks and his face grew scarlet with rage.

I would really have to make it up to him and play the submissive little brother later to smooth things over. Yet part of me thought, 'Why should I?' He slept with whoever and whenever he liked.

'Ya gonna pay for that later, my sweet little brother.' He threatened as if reading my thoughts exactly before he stormed out the door for the second time that day. He'd been in a pissy mood since he rolled out of bed on the wrong side anyway. Something about a 'difficult deal'. I waited for the front door to bang but it never did. Instead, we heard him banging pots around in the kitchen instead making Eric cringe beside me.

'Yeah...yeah...' I made the talk-to-the-hand gesture behind his back.

Now the danger was over, Eric giggled beside me. 'Shit – what's his problem? What did he mean by makin' ya pay later?' His tone turned serious and he sounded worried, probably remembering my Dad. 'You guys gonna fight later because of me?'

'Nothin'. Don't worry about it. Nah, he's jus' mouthin' off. Showing me that he's still the big brother and he can tell me what to do. 'Cept he can't.' I laughed.

'Still.. ain't like ya his baby sister or nothin'...Fuckin' weird the way he is with you.'

'He's jus' a little over-protective, is all.'

'Still...What was all that 'sweet little brother' shit?'

I could see the cogs turning in his head...I knew he was smart. So, I decided to distract him before he could reach the wrong – or the right conclusions.

'Jus' a joke. He's got one twisted sense of humour.'

I reached down to get the two spliffs from out of my bedside drawer.

'Here, want one?' I'd rolled them earlier for me and Merle but since he wasn't there and was making a show of himself, nearly giving our game away, I thought I'd share them with Eric. I could always make more.

We were soon giggling even more after we lit up like a couple of school-girls. Even managed to laugh about Shane and some of the other classmates and teachers we didn't like. Which was practically everybody – we'd been the 2 outsiders after all.

Meanwhile, my brother carried on crashing around in the kitchen. God knows what he was cooking.

Eric stopped laughing to listen to him. He looked at me questioningly and I shrugged.

'Guess I'm not invited to dinner.' He joked weakly.

'Nah. Told ya, don't worry about him. You can come around anytime you like. I'll set him straight.'

'I remember when Rogers came onto ya and ya ran out.' Eric said, suddenly changing the subject.

'Yeah.' But I turned my face away and nervously took a big drag on my spliff. Why was he so intent on bringing up all that shit from the past?

'Did he try anythin' else with ya afterwards?' I felt myself stiffen but he didn't notice. Why did he have to go and spoil the mood?

'Nah. Fucker was scared of me after that.' I grimaced again, recalling the time spent on his house to escape Dad and how I had enjoyed myself there. Enjoyed it mostly yet I found myself frowning at the memories.

'Good. But can ya believe he got away with it so long? Everyone knew what he did.'

'Yeah...Time to change the subject!' I snapped, finally losing my patience.

He looked at me then. 'Sorry, didn't mean to bring it all back for you.' He shook his head.

'Well, ya did. Why ya rakin' over old shit for, huh?'

'Sorry.'

'There's one way ya can make me forget.' I smirked at him. 'If you want to say sorry…'

'Oh?' He looked up at me with a crooked smile.

I pushed him back. 'Get on ya stomach.' I ordered him. Sounding like my brother to my own ears.

He obeyed meekly without question.

I slid my hand under him to jerk him off almost to the point of no return making him moan and writhe while I prepared him with the lube. He whined when I stopped to do that. I knew I was good at sex – sex with men, anyway. Hadn't both my own father and big brother told me so?

I thought about Merle being there and watching, getting more and more frustrated and jealous by the second. Maybe tied up, maybe not. Before he finally couldn't stand it any longer and got free somehow and joined in.

Nice fantasy.

Didn't happen, of course.

After Eric left for his parents' house (I didn't blame him for not wanting to stay for dinner, not with Merle giving him looks that could kill) I stretched out on the sofa again but this time to watch a game on TV.

As soon as he left, my brother came out of the kitchen and slammed the plate of spaghetti down onto the coffee table.

'Why ya sleepin' with that fucktard, Darlena?'

'What's it to you?' I snarled back. 'Ya jealous?'

'Course I fuckin' am!'

Later on, he would tame down his reactions whenever I slept with someone other than him - but this was early days. He was always afraid that they would replace him in my affections at first. Yet he slept around and let me know about it.

'He's not a fucktard, by the way. He's a successful businessman. More than ya'll ever be.'

'Look at ya. Lettin' him put his hands all over ya and his dick inside ya, no doubt. Ya a real dirty little slut.'

'And what does that make you, then? Last time you had 3 girls in ya bed! 3!' My voice rose in outrage at his hypocrisy. 'You always do what you want and then enjoy tellin' me about it afterwards!'

'That's my business!' He ran at me and slapped me. Hard! 'Besides, you're too young for that.' He meant the threesomes.

I drew my fist back and bloodied his mouth. 'Too young for what?' I sneered up at him challengingly.

He punched me back before he grabbed me. Kissing me all over my face and throat.

'Ya mine...always gonna be mine.' He snarled possessively between vicious kisses that declared me his.

My body was responding like it always did to him, despite my determination to deny him. Our arguing only heated things up between us. Our anger at each other and his insane jealousy feeding our desire for each other.

Snarling with need, he rapidly tore my T-shirt off and unbuckled his belt.

'Ya want me?' He hissed in my ear.

'No!' I shouted defiantly but I was already moaning as he palmed my crotch through the denim material of my jeans. No-one and nothing could match up to him, not even Eric.

'Tell ya big brother ya want him.' I'd forgotten that I was supposed to be acting meek.

'Yes, I want ya.' I lowered my head and looked up at him under my lashes again like they all liked me to do.

'I want ya, big brother.' He prompted.

'I want ya, big brother.' I gasped obediently as he didn't let up touching me through my pants. For some reason, he seemed to get off on me calling him that when he did things to me. Rubbing in the fact that he was my big brother while he rubbed me.

'Good boy.' He was pleased now as he stroked my hair. 'Come on. Let's go upstairs.' He got up and practically dragged me by one arm up them.

He shoved me into 'our' bedroom and pushed me onto his/our bed and straddled me. He paused while I looked up at him.

'Sh...It's OK. Big brother ain't gonna hurt ya...even though ya made him crazy jealous today.' He took his sweet time to graze my cheek with his fingertips then, letting them linger just to prove it.

'Like ya could! Ya jus' try and I'll cut ya fuckin' dick off!' I was really angry and wasn't ready to give in to him just yet.

He laughed.

'I ain't a kid no more and I do the hell what I want!' I lashed out at him, splitting his lower lip. He didn't even seem to notice as he slapped me hard back. I put my hand to the side of my face and felt it burn. He looked down at me, smirking before he kissed the pain away.

He shook me furiously. 'Yes, ya are. Always will be my kid brother. The one I gotta protect.'

I was touched despite myself. Not that I was going to show it to him.

'I don't need ya to protect me! Can handle myself! I'm the one who ended him, remember!'

He looked like he was getting ready to slap me again but at the last minute kissed me until I wound my arms around his neck and responded.

'Ya gettin' all feisty only makes me wanna fuck ya more.' He broke off the kiss.

'Ya an asshole. Why were ya rude to my friend today?' I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him on top of me while I ground against him. He was soon breathing hard.

''Cos 'friend' ain't all he is is.' He panted and moaned as I returned the favour and rubbed against him now through my jeans. 'Ya let him fuck ya, didn't ya?' His voice rose as he impatiently rid me of the rest of my clothes and threw them aside carelessly in a screwed up ball in the corner of the room. 'What did ya let him do?'

'Yeah, I let him fuck me. I let him do everythin'!' I lied.

That got him mad and he growled at that and grabbed me possessively to him and nipped my throat. 'Ya mine, always gonna be mine. No matter if ya do have yaself a little playmate every now and then.'

'I can fuck who the hell I want! Ya my big brother, sick fuck!' I screamed back and was going to hit him again but he pinned my arms up behind my head. 'What are ya doin' to me?' I wailed.

He leered at me at that. Running the tip of his tongue all the way round his lips.

I squirmed underneath him, panting. He could always get me excited.

'Ya been a very bad boy, today Darlena. Ya hurt my feelings.' He put on a mournful expression before he laughed, mocking me. 'Ya make me think ya prefer this 'friend' of yours to ya own big brother. What's he got that I haven't, huh?' He stroked my cheek lingeringly.

'Of course, I love you best. I'm sorry. I won't do it again.' I played along, bowing my head submissively like I knew he liked and let go of my anger. And what I said about loving no-one else above my brother was true, at least it was until I met Jamie that was.

Merle growled his approval and ran his hand through my hair slowly, making me shiver all over in anticipation for what was to come.

'Yeah, ya gonna be a good boy for me, ain't ya?'

'Yes, Merle.' He stroked my hair again to reward me. 'Please don't hurt me.' I added for good effect.

'Ya trust me?'

'No!' My last shred of defiance before I gave in to him. He checked my eyes to see if they belied my words.

Apparently, they did.

'Tough.' He shoved my head down. 'Close ya eyes.' He ordered me.

I obediently did what he told me to, expecting something exciting or at least a pleasant surprise. However, I gasped when I felt him slide something over my wrist and fix it to the bed-post. My eyes flew open and I struggled in panic.

'I said 'Keep'em closed!' He snapped at me but I didn't take any notice and I saw the rope.

'What...what did ya do, Merle? I can't be tied up!'

'Tough. Ya made me really angry today and I ain't gonna let ya get away from me again. Let other men put their paws all over ya. Hurt ya.'

'No! Let me go! I ain't playin', I mean it.'

'Come on, it's jus' one hand. Don't be such a baby about it.'

'No!' I shook my head. 'I can't. Not like this.' I pleaded pathetically.

'I said I was gonna make ya pay!'

'Fuck you!' I kicked out at him and drew back my one free fist and punched at him. But with one hand tied up, I didn't have the free range I needed and he laughed at my pathetic attempt.

'I sure like ya tied-up and unable to stop me from doin' what I want. Sexy as hell.'

'No...' I breathed. 'Let me go. Please, Merle.' When he got the tub of lube out, I really started to panic, thrashing around. I heard him say something in soothing tones.

But I wasn't listening by then, panic was blackening my vision. I confused him with our dead father.

'No, please don't, Dad. Untie me.' I heard myself say but it didn't seem like it was really me. I began to break down as I confused the past with the present. It was clear that I still wasn't over him and everything he did to me.

'Sh...Jesus fucked!' I heard him hiss.

'No...Please don't...' I struggled to get free.

'It's OK...OK...I'm untying ya. Sh...Don't cry.'

Afterwards, he reached for me but I shrugged him off.

'Don't ya ever do that again! Not without telling me first!' I hissed at him. 'Ya do and we're fuckin' over, ya hear?'

'I'm sorry...I won't. Promise. I won't do it again.' He was babbling with guilt. 'It was jus' one hand…'

I said nothing and turned my back on him. Curled up into a ball, facing the wall.

'Sh...' I felt him touch my shoulder but I moved away from him. 'Don't!'

'Did ya forget what he did to me? Ya jus' as sick!'

'I'm sorry. Ain't really angry with ya...it's jus' a game. I know Eric ain't nothin' serious.'

'Could have fooled me!'

'Come here. I'm sorry. Fucked up badly, didn't I?'

'Yeah, ya did!' Now I was sobbing with tears of rage. 'That's what he did. Don't ya remember?'

He pulled me to him. 'I'm sorry. Thought ya would like it. But I can see ya ain't ready yet.'

'What told ya that?' I replied with bitter sarcasm.

'I mean...I ain't like him. Ain't gonna try and pressure ya into doin' nothin' ya don't want.'

'I know that.' He kissed me gently and I kissed him back. So, he thought he had the green light.

'Ya shouldn't be touchin' me this way. Mama in heaven would...' My eyes were rolling to the back of my head.

'Heaven? Thought ya didn't believe in that religious crap. Besides, ya like everythin' I do to ya.'

'I don't...Ooh..'

'Let me make ya believe.' Now he was using his tongue. He flicked the tip of me down there. 'I'll show ya heaven.' He growled his promise.

'No...ya shouldn't do that...' I writhed even as I protested but it sounded false to my ears. He grinned and gave my slit a couple of long, teasing licks. I shuddered violently and moaned.

After tormenting me half to death for what seemed like an eternity, he finally took me in his mouth.

When I reached my climax (and it was true, he did make me see heaven) he waited a moment for me to get my breath back and flipped me over and started preparing me.

'No.' I said without looking around.

He turned me over, breathing heavily and looking into my eyes to see if I was serious or not.

'What did ya say to me?' His voice had a cold menace to it. He was frustrated as hell. He gripped me hard but made no other move.

'I said 'No' Goddamit! Back the fuck off!' I pushed him away.

'Well, at least ya can do is suck me off. After what I jus' did for ya.' He came forward again to thrust himself in all his swollen glory in my face but I turned my head away.

'I...I can't...' I suddenly felt shy and naked and looked down at the ground. The old guilt at what we did with each other hit me in full force then.

'Is it 'cos of what I did? Tyin' ya up like that? I said I was sorry!'

'Nah. I'm jus' done worn out.' I lied. I just couldn't face it and no doubt the flashback of Dad he'd evoked in me had something to do with it.

That got him and he changed his attitude rapidly to concern as he brushed my hair back off my face. 'Why don't ya want to? Did that boy hurt ya just now?' He raised his voice and clenched his fist. ''Cos' he's fuckin' dead if he did!'

'No. Jus' don't wanna.' It was true, I know I should pay my brother back because true to his word, he'd shown me what heaven could be like. Better than ever before.

'Fine.' He stormed out. No doubt to take care of himself. I rarely refused him and he wasn't used to it.

I sighed and lay back on the bed. I fell asleep a few minutes later.